Ground Control to Ali,
Ground Control to Ali!
What the fuck am I doing here?
All alone in space like an idiot,
Come on,
Oh shit, I won't make it,
It's too far,
Come on, Ali,
Come on, Ali!
Samurai sauce!
Order 32,
Oh ! Ali! Ali!
What's your average?
My average of what?
- Deliveries, - Ah, I think five,
- By hour? - No, don't overdo it a day, the eggs,
Come on, come on!
- Ali, Ali! - Come on,
I can't, I have delivery, bro, there,
Go ahead, you're kidding, You can't refuse a little hookah,
I can't brother, I swear,
Banana-watermelon,
- He's strong, - Is that it?
He's the chicha sommelier, wallah,
- She's good, huh, - Too strong,
Oh damn,
And here, Madam, goodbye,
THANKS,
And there you have it,
THANKS,
And there you have it, sir,
- Bye, - Bye,
- Here, my son, gain strength, - No, it's okay,
It's not strength that I'm taking, That's weight there,
It's nothing, It's couscous, it doesn't make you gain weight,
It's a shame, It's a waste, I'm not going to eat,
Your semolina is so good, Grandma,
Thank you my darling!
- Mom ? - Yes ?
Can I ask you a question?
Why do we listen to Enrico all the time?
What does it matter to you?
There are other singers, mom!
I remind you that he is Berber like us!
Like your father,
Besides, if your father saw you,,,
For that, We should have already seen it,
♪ Lai lai lai lai, lai lai lai lai ♪
♪ Yes, the girls are pretty,,, ♪
And CAF?
- Eh ? - What's the CAF, mom? It has nothing to do with it,
What is CAF, Mamie?
CAF is the only solution your
father found to earn money,
- Ah OK,
- When will you have a real job, my son?
You know, I won't always be there for you,
I have to go mom,
I hope you won't join your cousin Yanis,
He only makes you do stupid things, this Bhim,
Mom, don't worry,
I'm in a hurry,
But before going there I'm still going to tell Nola a story,
Once upon a time, there was a little
prince who was, well, blond apparently,
That's it, because of the sun,
A Kabyle, that is,
And he wants us to draw a sheep for him,
apparently, Because he's never seen one in his entire life,
You have already seen sheep,
You know what it looks like, my darling ? What does it look like?
It has wool and it's pink on the snout,
Exactly, That's exactly it,
That's not how I see it but yes,
It's,,, you know the barbecue
that Grandma makes, is it good?
With the raisins, the semolina,
Well, I think that's why he wanted to see a sheep,
Because he was hungry, So,
And he hasn't eaten all day,
You know when dad does Ramadan and he doesn't eat,
it's exactly the same, he was hungry,
So he's tired, he has more strength,
more vitamins, he decides to go to sleep,
Just like my little princess,
- Good night my princess, - Good night,
Are you coming to my school
“pestacle” next Wednesday?
Of course I'll be there for your "pestacle",
Who is the super dad?
You !
Hello Mrs !
Tomato shawarma, onions, order 34, is that right?
- Mom ! - Hey baby, are you okay?
Eh ? You go to your room,
Go do your homework,
- Oh no! - Oh, no, no,
I really like loose hair,
Ali, I don't have time, what do you want?
I start at six tomorrow,
Do you remember this bracelet?
I found it,,,
Actually, no,,,
I was wondering about us,
In fact, - us, - What us?
Where are we, what?
But, you see clearly,
I am here, you are there,
We can try again,
For what?
I'm in trouble, Nat, I swear,
You've been on a big break for five years,
You don't understand, I need a guy who delivers every time,
Alimony,
- Well,,, - Well,,, You forgot,
Here, a post-it,
- What is that? - It's from the judge this time,
- From the judge? - Yeah,
9000 euros, Nat!
But,,, But I'm not Elon Musk, Nat,
It's a delay that I had, it doesn't matter,
You've been late for three years,
It's more fun,
If in one month you have not repaid everything and you
do not have a stable situation, They take your little one,
- Wait, you're not serious, - I'm very serious,
Wake up,
I don't want to,
The little one needs you,
But that's it, you have to take your responsibilities,
Eh ! It's good there, to take everything lightly,
Always have your head in the stars!
You have a month!
Why am I not going to see my dad again?
I will explain to you, This is adult stuff, It is,,,
Following !
No but wait, I owe 9000 bucks!
- 9000! - Yeah bro,
- Where are you going to find them? - I don't know, We remember,
Michael!
Michael fajitas!
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to ESA,
Space is full of mysteries,
To discover them, we
must choose the best ones,
This is why, out of more than 10,000
applicants, only three were selected,
After passing hundreds
of tests, hard
training, and intense
training, they are finally ready,
It's okay, it's not Koh-Lanta either, guys,
For this crucial mission
for the future of aerospace,
His name? Mission Pluto,
In Koh-Lanta, there are people
who stand on a pole for an hour,
On one leg, We have to stop!
His goal?
Activate the first nuclear
power reactor in space,
Its launch H-6 days,
THANKS,
As new mission manager at ESA,
it is a great honor for me to introduce
to you the three astronauts who will
lead this extraordinary special mission,
And not because it's my first as manager,
Thank you for welcoming
the new captain of the
ISS: Johanna Weiss, for France!
Approved Pluto mission,
Station engineer Tom Hudson, USA!
Approved Pluto mission,
And Zuka Motashi,
physical chemist, Japan!
Approved Pluto mission,
We can applaud them!
- Johanna, a little word? - THANKS,
Pss, Hey! Are you Michel fajitas?
Shh!
It is an honor for me to take on this responsibility,
Because although each mission is important, they do
not all have to transport a nuclear reactor into space,
But with my comrades, we are
ready to take on this challenge,
Why doesn't it do it for me?
Does it add anything?
Presence,
Yeah, that adds a little something,
Good morning, Mission Pluto,
Yeah, you shouldn't stutter,
I don't know,
It's in the head actually I think, it's in the head,
In the body too but,,,
A lot in the body, yeah,
But it's in the head,
- Whoops, - Damn, that’s not true!
I already missed the conference - it's not true,,,
- Really sorry, Madam,,,
I was there, at the press conference,
- Were you at the press conference? - Yeah, I was there, Of course,
- I was delivering fajitas, - Fajitas?
Yes, absolutely, plutonium in the shape of fajitas,
Did you deliver plutonium?
I delivered plutonium, Madam,
Yeah, yeah, Yes,
It's because discretion Madam, you know, Pluto mission,
Ah, they called it “Mission Pluto”,
And they're going to send a reactor with plutonium?
Absolutely Madam, Quite,
So you will be in Baikonur, for the rocket launch,
Ah well yes, Madam,
- Gosh, me too, - Oh,
And besides, there will also be my chief editor,
And he is always looking for images,
interesting, confidential information,,,
You know, on the mission, or the reactor,,,
And he is ready to buy them at a good price,
Buy them? How much ?
Oh, classic rates, 20, 30, 50,000,
50,000 what, Madam?
Well, euros,
And the more confidential it is, the more it pays,
So see you in Baikonur, Sir,,,
Ali, Teacher, engineering manager, At ESA,
Constancy, Constance Lacorne, delighted,
Here, there you go,
Well, delighted Madame Lacorne,
Come on, see you soon,
Okay, Okay Armstrong, Good,,,
- Are you guys okay? - How are you ? GOOD ?
What is your NASA plan?
ESA, It's a crazy plan, This is an incredible plan, brother,
She suggested that I go to Baikonur, the city
where there are the rockets that you see on TV,
I take a photo, 30,000 euros direct,
But it's broken, it's broken!
It's broken,
Anyway, it's already settled,
9000,
- Is it for me? - Yeah,
Attention, it's big Tony who advances,
You have three weeks to pay it back, You have an interest,,,
It doesn't matter ! Any interest, I will do everything for that, my brother!
- You save my life! - I know very well,
It’s extraordinary what’s happening!
Brother, I'm going to work at noon, morning, evening, morning, evening, noon,
- I will everything,,, - Or we make a crypto plan,
Or we don't do it, that's very good,
Yes, yes, look, Woolfcoin,
They launched this yesterday,
We put the 9000 on it, we increase our earnings by two,
by three and there, you pay back big Tony, your pension
and we even have a little packet of sorrel left for us,
- For us? - I'm a business carrier, brother,
And me? SO ?
- Go ahead, - Yes, well yes,
It's okay, it's placed,
- It's dangerous, isn't it? - But are you sick?
Here we go for 9000 woofy, there,
- Are you sure? - Yeah,
Wait, what's up like that?
- In your opinion, - Wait,,,
Oh !
- Well, wait, - Look at !
Why so quickly?
But wait, it's incredible!
No, but wait,,,
No, Because like,,, As he is not,,,
Like it's not in a good way,
- Why is the arrow at the bottom? - She's not in the mood,
Does that mean I owe 9,000 euros to big Tony and my ex?
But,,, didn't you have a NASA plan?
You told me about something,,,
N-A-S-A, NASA, No ?
Yanis, you got me into trouble there,
Yeah, the Baikonur thing, I take photos for 30,000,
But that’s great! It's magnificent, why didn't we do it?
How do I get myself into trouble like this?
On my mother's life, I don't know but you're a genius,
Good,
Where is Baikonur?
- I don't even know where it is,,, - Wow, Uh,,,
First of all, you can't go there on a scooter,
The plane is dead,
- The train is the same, - Yanis, stop,
- we're not going to go there in Blablacar too, - But Blablacar! Blablacar!
Well there you go!
80 euros,
124 hours round trip, you will be back on Wednesday,
even for big Tony, It's magnificent!
What do I have on Wednesday?
How are you going to get through security?
I have a brother badge,
So ! Ah!
Mom !
Hey, for Nola,
I also added the leftover semolina and the meatballs that she loves,
This is exactly what I was looking for, THANKS,
But where are you going, Ali?
I love you mom,
I hope you know what you're doing,
Hello, Blablacar?
Blablacar, Da,
Okay,
Delighted, Okay,
Blablacar,
- No, but I can't Blablacar in front? - Blablacar,
I'm claustrophobic, sir,
Shit,
You can open the window behind, please ? Blabla? The window!
Damn, this is horrible,
Blablacar,
Mmmh
Baikonur? Blabla?
Ali!
Hey, are you okay?
It's good and you ?
Yeah, that's jetlag there,,,
What flight were you on? I didn't see you,
I was on a private jet,
I came by private jet with the engineers,
Luck! I came in economy, but hell!
The economy is horrible, your legs are tight,
Horrible ! Anyway, I'm super excited!
See you this evening with my editor-in-chief?
This way you can show us all the confidential information - that you have recovered,
- Tonight, yes,
Ah, I think that’s it for you,
- Eh ! I won't keep you any longer, - I'm coming guys,
And don't forget, what we need, it's sensational,
- Okay, The photo of the century, indeed, - Of course, Of course,
Well, I'm going - duty calls,
- Okay,
Come on, Hi,
Hey! Good luck !
Yourself,
Is she leaving or not?
Nasdrovia,
Staff,
Whoops, Eh,
♪ I am free ♪
♪ Free, free,,, ♪
♪ To be free, to go away,,, ♪
Hmm?
♪ Wander ♪
Come on, 30,000 balls,
I'm too high, I'm too high,
We are live from Baikonur
for the Pluto mission,
Wow!
Come on, 30,000 balls,
How do I always get myself into trouble,,,
Ah!
The whole world has its eyes on us,
So, no waves,
We go up, we light up, we go back down,
As simple as a trip around the sun,
Come on, It's going to be fine,
Arrival of astronauts at launch zone,
Prepare for takeoff,
Ten, nine,
eight, seven,
six, five,
four, three, two, one, Go,
- Well done ! -Yes!
Well done everyone, well done! Well done !
What the fuck is going on,,,
Ah!
What the fuck is happening!
Where am I? In a garage?
At Kiloutou?
Who is the crazy person who lives here?
Oh !
I was drugged,
It's big Tony, it's Blablacar,
Damn,
Damn, I am dead,
- Oh! - Oh!
An alien!
There's an Alien on the station!
- What ? - Over there !
Destiny module,
What can I do?
No ! Shh,
Damn,
So, you are on the ISS,
Eh ? The International Space Station,
Okay,
In orbit, suddenly,
400 km away
around the Earth,
Okay,
Does he understand us?
You, astronaut?
No, Me, Delivroom,
You, astronauts,
- Ah, well yes, - Wow,
It's a crazy job, to be in space,
When are we going back?
Because I'm a little claustrophobic,
so already, five minutes in an elevator,,,
I call the firefighters,
In addition, I don't really like my roommate,
Of course,
There is a button,,,
No ! No buttons,
- Don't press, - Return to earth in six months
with the relief shuttle,
Is this a joke?
I have to be in
Paris on Wednesday,
There is my daughter, the
pension, and there is her show,
- Of course, - It's super important, I promised him,
And then there's big
Tony, and my ex-wife who's going to kill me,,,
I don't feel well, sorry,
I can't breathe,
Is that how you should hold it?
It's for pee,
And the thrust modules, Pluto mission?
- It's OK, - Is that OK?
- Everything is fine ? - Great,
Orbit stabilizer?
Okay,
And our friend Pluto, the nuclear reactor?
OK also, yes,
Great ! We can say that everything is OK, Pluto mission,
Yes, then,,,
not quite,
Look, we just have a little problem here,
Vertical thrust reactors?
No, no, that's OK too, fortunately,
SO ?
Everything is fine, Pluto mission,
Ah!
What is this?
Ali Chalabi,
34 years old,
Malassis city,
Training:
nothing,
Diploma :
nothing,
Sports activities:
nothing,
Okay, go ahead, because I can't,
Professional activities:
delivery man at Delivré-mangez,
DoEat, Delivroom, intermittently,
Special sign: colorblind, claustrophobic,
asthmatic and heart murmur,
Why me, what have I done?
Is this hazing?
No,
How did he get up there?
We have a breach in our security system,,,
And what is it? The first illegal alien in space?
The first space fraudster?
Yes, well, that’s okay there! Instead of finding a name, find a solution,
Eh !
So, what do we do with it?
We're putting him in quarantine!
For six months?
Yes,,,
We bring him back with the emergency module,
Too risky for the crew, if there is the slightest
complication they will be trapped in the station
and that will be a big problem,
A man in space is a resource,
A resource cannot remain unused,
This man must be used,
We keep it up there,
Incognito,
We turn on the reactor
and we bring him back with the crew,
neither seen nor known,
But that can only work if no one,
I mean no one knows about it,
Bro, guess where I'm calling you from?
- Oh, Ali! Are you okay or what, bro? - Look at,
What is this crazy filter?
No filter,
You'll never guess where I am, it's impossible,
it's crazy,
What do you mean you’re not from Baikonur?
You have to be there on Wednesday with my sorrel,
Finally, our own sorrel,
It is,,,
rather for big Tony, he asked for your news,
how he really likes you!
So there, at the moment I'm talking to you,
Big Tony has no way of finding me,
I'm light years away from him,
I'll tell you where I am,
Because you still haven't guessed,
Wait, I'll start again, two seconds, Excuse me,
Wait, two seconds,,,
This is all the information we have on him,
Finally,,,
It's not very safe to keep it here,,,
On the contrary, You're going to keep
him and make this man an astronaut,
- Pardon ?
- Listen, Commander, you are responsible for this mission,
Here, we're counting on you and your crew to make it a success,
So make this man an astronaut,
incognito and without waves,
All this is defense secret,
Okay,
Mom, I'm telling you I'm in space, On the head,,,
On you, I'm in space,
Yes, the real one, the real one,
You're sick, she's my mother!
Ali, no one, I mean no one,
should know that you are here,
- For what ? - Your presence is top secret,
Is my presence top secret?
That’s nice,
It's okay, I won't tell anyone, don't panic, I just want to go home,
Ali, your phone,
The telephone, in space,
works but it is expensive,
You don't want to find yourself like Thomas Pesquet in 2016 - paying 150,000 euros in bills,
- How much ?
150,000,
Ali, We have something important to tell you,
Before your return, we will train you, train
you, teach you to move in weightlessness,
To work on the station modules, to be at
200% of your physical and mental abilities,
We're going to build your character out of hardened steel, Ali,
We're going to make
you an astronaut,
I'm a little hungry, you're not hungry? Frankly,
First training module: storage,
Everything is in its place, each
object is listed and geolocated,
Have you ever seen an alien?
You already seen,,, extraterrestrial?
OK, you take an object, you scan the barcode,
The barcode sends a message to Ground
Control which locates the tool in the station,
- The weapons, where are the weapons? -Weapons?
-Yes, weapons, if we are attacked by an
unknown species, in the process of appearing,
Or by an alien, I don't know who is in space,
Seriously?
First training module, OK?
Storage,
Each astronaut receives a meal that is prepared
specifically for their nutritional needs, All right ?
Then everything is checked, freeze-dried, pressurized,
- Is it halal? - Eh ?
Actually, it's not halal, I can't eat,
Oh yes,,,
Or kosher,
So, at this altitude,,,
maybe,,, we have
the right, right?
US ISS waste collector system,
So that's the station's computer, that's incredible!
No, it's a toilet,
On land, they are 25 cm, in space, it's 10,
The size of a mug,
In addition, we hover, we move, you're never really on top,
Since there is no gravity,,,
it can't fall,
What doesn't fall?
- So, we put in a vacuum cleaner, -Remember?
Oh,
Remember,
Aim well, don't move, suck,
That's the toilet motto, my friend,
- My friend,,, - And above all afterwards, we don't forget,,,
- rearview mirror, - It's what ?
The rearview mirror?
- To see the popcorns, - I don't understand,
It's called fecal popcorn, it's very dangerous,
You can swallow and choke and die,
So don't forget to use the urine tube,
You have to have a bac+5 to piss, right?
We had to train for two months on the ground to get there,
Can you explain it to me again for two seconds?
But quick, because,,,
- Which part? - All,
Result of the bio experiment B35,
and Ali, we come back in H-2 minutes 31,
Damn, but I'm hungry, dammit,
But yes!
Gorgeous !
Shit !
No !
That's not true!
Ground Control at ISS, respond,
Everything is fine ?
What is happening?
Johanna? Someone ?
Ground Control at ISS, respond,
Johanna! Tommy! Zuka! Answer!
Ground Control at Pluto mission,
Is everything under control now?
Yes, couscous is under control Ground Control,
The situation is under control, Ground Control,
We said without waves!
Ground Control?
Excuse me, am I paid or not?
No, because I still think,,,
We're cleaning up,
Hello ?
I think they cut it,
Continue his training,
Received,
Finally, controlled movements,
You do exactly what I do,
Small, long and precise gestures,
- OK? - Okay,
- Here we go, - Here we go,
It's good Ali, - it's good,
- Oh!
It's good ! It's very good!
That's good, Ali!
- Are you okay, Ali? - It's not okay there,
We'll never make it the beginning of an astronaut's half,
He has already caused the station to trip twice in 24 hours,
It's a record,
This guy is a ticking time bomb,
I can already hear the ticking before the next disaster,
Look, he's the anti-astronaut,
So, We have no choice, the mission is in danger, he must leave,
What do you mean he has to leave?
We're not going to call him an Uber,
Well,,,
So it's not simple, I thought about it,
there might be a solution, it's a little risky,
The waste module,
What ?
It's not risky, it's suicidal,
It's suicidal to keep him here, I swear,
What would the procedure be?
The space is still incredible!
We're going a little fast though, aren't we?
Sixteen times around the Earth per day,
Sixteen times around the Earth per day?
In one day we did 16 days?
Without a break?
So what day is it on earth, Tom?
It's Tuesday,
But I have to go, Tom!
Finally, I go to the bathroom,
I have to go to the toilet,
Damn, should I answer or not?
- Hello Constance? - Ali?
- How are you ? - It's good and you ?
So, this scoop of the century?
- See you, where are you? - There ? I am,,,
not too far,
Well, pass,
This is complicated, on the other hand because,,,
Listen, you come to the office, we look
at the photos with my editor, we love it,
we sign and we pay you, it's simple, right?
Yes, But,,, do you think we can do this by email?
Well, no my cat, It doesn't happen
like that, we have to see each other,
Excuse me Constance, two short seconds,,,
Shit, shit, shit,
Listen, see you tomorrow, as soon as I arrive, I'll call you,
is it perfect? Come on, Kisses my pussy,,, onne,
my kitty, kitty, Madam,
Even Google doesn't know,
Damn,
So, to send it back to earth, it's very simple,
the waste module is not completely filled,
Once it is installed, we expel the module,
All right ?
The descent will last approximately,,,
eight hours 32 minutes,
something like that,
There will be a little odor of waste
what he does which will perhaps vomit a little in the passenger compartment,
but as will be weightless, It's manageable, So no worries,
The temperature will rise sharply, up to more than 55°,
Celsius, obviously,
And after five o'clock,
it will enter the atmosphere,
all this obviously if the module has not disintegrated in the meantime,
To end up landing
in ballistics in the middle of the ocean
and from there, our rescuers will try to arrive in time
to avoid suffocation,
i,e, before the module is completely filled with water,
So,
The chances of survival?
Nine percent,
- Oh yes, all the same! - Yes, finally,,,
Any mission in space carries risks,
Any return to earth too apparently,
We take the risk,
We take a lower risk,
Especially for the mission and for the crew,
THANKS,
You're telling me again,
Finally you send it back to me,
Today,
After the international press conference,
Good news, Ali,
You go home, you go home,
Well finally! Well finally, I’m super happy!
YOU, Timing isn't your thing, actually,
It's my job, I tell you,
Orders, It’s tchac tchac, it’s going very quickly,
You won't last two days at Delivroom,
And then, excuse me but without wanting to disrespect,
the pajamas atmosphere, socks all day long,,,
we are very far from Star Wars anyway!
Okay, is it finished?
There are plenty of things to do
before you leave us, Finally, let you go,
Zuka, you can go set up the cameras for the press briefing,
and Tom, we finish putting the waste in the return module,
Hurry up, my friend,
Timing is timing,,,
Incoming signal detected,
- Mom ? - Hello ?
My Nola, how are you?
Yes, say dad, are you coming to my school “pestacle”?
Of course I will be there,
- But where are you, dad? - Whoops,
Do you remember back then when we went to the countryside - with your cousin Drissa?
- Yes,
It's a little bit further,
Wow, that’s far!
- Yeah, it's a bit far, - Pass it to me,
Yeah, he's in space,
Is that it, Ali?
Do you know the Berber proverb?
Lying gives flowers but never fruits,
Yes, yes, mom, It's good,
A story! A story!
That's it, tell your daughter stories instead,
It's better,
- Hold, - Besides, you're the one who has my book,
The book? Which book Nola?
Oh yes ! These are the adventures of the little Kabyle with the barbecue,
So, “People have stars
that are not the same,
For those who travel, the stars are guides,
To others, they are nothing but little lights,
For others, who are learned, they are problems,
For my businessman,
they were gold,
But all these stars are silent,
You will have stars like no one else will have,"
Nola, we'll talk tomorrow, okay?
- I love you my darling, - Kisses daddy,
- Kisses, my darling, - Ah, will we see you tomorrow?
And come on, space isn't that far after all, eh!
Yeah, it's not that far, mom,
Ali, we have to go,
I'm coming,
Four, three, two, one,
Welcome to the first live press
conference of the Pluto mission, from space!
Questions ? SO,,,
Yes, sir, yes,
Steven Hudson, New York Times,
I have a question for Johanna,
-Hey, Steven, - Hi, Johanna,
How is our fourth friend?
The Pluto reactor,,,
Ah!
Very well, Steven, Very well,
That’s a long time!
Good question!
Effectively, we do sports every day to
maintain muscle tone and for our bones too!
Can we go there?
Another question? Yes, Madam, yes,
Hey!
Have you had any unexpected events since your arrival?
No,
Who knows how to fly without disconnecting the entire station?
Wow!
And now, the space moonwalk!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
We only talk about him, but who is Ali Chalabi?
Why is he in space?
What is its role in the ISS?
Here are the first elements of response live
with the leaders of the European Space Agency,
Ali Chalabi is the man who
paved the way to space for all,
We wanted to evaluate the
resistance of a non-astronaut
with a view to future space travel,
Oh, it's dad!
Hey!
To avoid distorting the tests,
we decided to hide its presence,
His ability to work and his sense
of responsibility guided our choice,
But who is he talking about here?
Ali Chalabi, distinguished himself in various field works,,,
- What ?
- ,,,Before joining ESA for this extraordinary space mission,
Ah, he's really on a big roll here,
He demonstrated
absolute control, iron will,,,
Who is he talking about?
,,,With an unwavering team spirit,,,
Team spirit,
,,, Essential to the accomplishment of the Pluto mission,
Ali Chalabi, Pluto mission approved,
I think he's talking about me there,
We are colleagues now,
The pension and big Tony are settled,
We now know a little more
about Ali and his mission in space,
But who is the man behind the astronaut?
Ali, he learned the trade with us,
Yes, the pressure, the timing, the deliveries,
Tchac, tchac, tchac,
With helmets, suits, gloves, all that,,,
I tell you, you have to be agile,
- We're astronauts too, actually, - Oh yes !
I'm live from the Ali Chalabi neighborhood,
Welcome to KebabAli, discover the Ali formula,
The real astronaut meal!
Kebab, fries, samurai sauce for only 9,95 euros!
Thank you very much sir!
Amazing they renamed their kebab KebabAli,
Wow!
Ali! It's a small step for the man but a big step for the brother,
- Go ahead, Ali! - Wow!
Astronaut,
It's a good situation, isn't it?
A T-shirt stand, with the image of Ali Chalabi,
T-shirts, dedicated on his return, for only 19 euros,
Are you interested?
Thank you very much, thank you,
I know him, Ali! He's my cousin, we have the same aunt,
Charming, I really like it,
So, in this neighborhood, so alive,
so proud and now we are going to go to the space that
Ali frequents every day,,,
Hey! That's us!
,,, Tabac bar called La Comète,
We know him, Ali!
Shisha apple banana!
Is it true Ali? It's flat, isn't it?
Like your sister!
- Ali! Ali! Ali!
- You will have understood, what
predominates in Bagnolet is Ali mania,
My dad lives in space and he's going to the moon,
And if he has time, he's going to have lunch with the aliens,
Whoa,
Don't worry, you want to know the sponsors?
Get ready, KebabAli, my
favorite, the second, Cheap
Phone, not expensive at all,
the third is not sure, but
this one if we have it, it's a milk brand!
The Milky Way!
So, are you happy or not? I even have your T-shirt,
Bro, this sucks,
I'm in space, I'm next to the moon!
Remember when you have real
sponsors, it's,,, It's outrageous,
The Milky Way, you don't have,,,,
Planning, kitchen module,
So, Ali, your schedule, now that we're colleagues,
Zuka,,,
Excuse me, I'll stop you right now,
But, are we all astronauts here?
- Yes,,, - If I'm not mistaken,
Why are you in charge?
So, it's not a question of commanding
or not, it's just my role in the station,
Is that just your role at the station?
- Yes, - Positive discrimination,
- Pardon ? - Pardon ?
- I didn't understand,,, - Oh, me neither,
Not to me, anyway, Johanna,
- I have trouble,,, - OK, it will be without me,
- Should I call Ground Control? - You call whoever you want,
Calm and composure, we know, we are confined,
So here it is, We're not going to beat around the bush,
Already, I wanted to tell you, we work sixteen
days a day, frankly, it's starting to be a lot,
We will also need someone to explain to us how things
work in this rocket because we have to do everything ourselves,
Even the housekeeping,
Meals, are we talking about meals?
Powdered bread, liquid twixes are enough now,
Here, for all these reasons, I decide to strike,
What ?
He's giving us the first space strike,
I ask for an improvement in my conditions,
Since now I'm an astronaut,
This guy is worse than Apollo 13,
Well Ali, we understand,
That's a lot all at once,
We'll see what we can do,
Otherwise, I have a press conference,
We're going to line you up, Are we going to line it up?
Same conditions as the crew, same salary, same bonus,
same advantages, So,
Pardon ?
And restaurant tickets too
and not the eight euro ones, Twelve,
Restaurant tickets,,,
OK Ground Control, Deal, Ground Control,
Deal,
There are still four months left,
I won't make it, we were prepared for everything but not for him,
You have to stay focused on the mission,
that's the only thing that matters,
No,,,
he doesn't pick up,
Can I give him a star kiss?
Isn't it a little hot? Couldn't we ventilate, Johanna?
So, it's going to be complicated,
It's -270 degrees outside,
If we ventilate, which is impossible unless we
crack the wall of the station, your lungs will
freeze, your mouth, your larynx, your trachea will freeze,
After five seconds, I would say,
you won't have any more oxygen,
Which will lead to loss of consciousness,
followed by cardiac arrest just
before you explode into ice dust,
SO, do you still want to ventilate?
No,,,
So,
Level five alert,
Reactor overheating,
alert level five,
Orbital stabilization code,
08473H,
Reactor overheating,
- Median? - 2,4591,
Ali, I'm stuck, come help me,
Stabilization impossible,
Ali!
- Oh! - I'm coming Johanna!
Ali, come help me! Oh !
Ah!
Ali!
Ali, it's not moving, come help me!
End of reactor
overheating simulation,
It's okay, no one died,
If it wasn't an exercise, we were all dead,
We have just received very heavy material from the Pluto mission,
- How so ? - It's from an ESA leak,
From hero to zero,
Are we not going to broadcast this?
- But what a fool! - He left the Chinese man alone!
Guys, I have never abandoned an order!
- Even when I didn't have the digital code, - That's not professional,
Oh no!
Yes, Laurent, I am outside the
ESA building, to talk about the
video, the famous video which is
currently circulating on all
social networks, where we see Ali
Chalabi fleeing aboard the module relief,
Condemning, therefore, his teammates,
But no, Ali, Not that,
Fortunately, it was just an exercise,
Something he himself seemed unaware of,
Bye-bye sponsors,
Your dad sucks,
It's a boloss,
Maybe he doesn't even have lunch with the aliens,
Yeah, that's clear, Ooh!
Ooh!
To talk about the video,,,
At school everyone says that dad is a fake
astronaut and a liar, Is it true, grandma?
But no, that’s not true my darling!
What do these hmar know?
They're jealous, that's all!
Of course your dad is an astronaut,
And what he does up
there is very important,
Do you know why?
Because a long time ago, more than a thousand years,
it's our people, the Berbers, who learned to read the stars,
They used them to find and
follow their route in the desert,
And today, your dad is on the road to the stars,
He is a Berber who walks the path of our ancestors,
Dad is a space Berber?
Of course, my dear,
Can we call him to tell him?
That's an excellent idea!
Come on, come on,
A twist in the Ali Chalabi affair, it
seems, according to our sources, that
he is only an imposter and that the
ESA never planned to send him to the ISS,
So how was he able to board the
International Space Station with, on
board, remember, a nuclear reactor is one
of the questions that the director of the ESA will have to answer,
What the hell is this? Tommy!
Do you know who I am? I'm going to call the journalists there!
Come back, Tom!
That works ?
Following recent events, we decided to,,,
We decided to shorten the Pluto mission,
The nuclear reactor will be put into service tonight,
then we will return the three astronauts,
Concerning Ali Chalabi,,,,
The guy didn't have the right stuff,
,,, He will be handed over to the police upon his return,
As for me,
I take full responsibility for this fiasco,
I will submit my resignation
once the crew returns to earth,
THANKS,
- Please excuse us, - One question please,
You know, Ali, I had a dream,
The one to come here,
in the footsteps of space pioneers,
Peggy Whitson,
Claudie Haigneré,
Valentina Tereshkova,
all those who, one day, gave hope to a little girl
to reach the stars,
Mission is canceled, Ali,
Today you shattered many people's dreams,
So, I just wanted you to know,
Ground Control to Ali,
I know you hear me,
Your return to earth is scheduled in H -12 hours with the crew,
Until then, you are kept in quarantine, Finished,
- Did you tell him about his mother? - No, too risky,
He comes back tomorrow, he will learn of his return,
Hello ? Hello ?
That's it, it's recording, Go ahead,
Dad, at school there are bad guys who
make fun of you, but I know you are strong, Dad,
Because you write our history in space, Kisses daddy,
Ali, my darling,
It doesn't matter,
you are the one of us who would have been closest to the stars,
That’s not nothing!
So, don't listen to everything they
say, only you know what you're worth,
As the Berber proverb says:
“The stars are lit so that
everyone can one day find their own”,
So find your star, my son,
You're the space Berber, dad,
Kisses !
Ground Control at ISS, Start the reactor ignition procedure,
OK, Pluto mission, prepare to
switch station power to the reactor,
Three, two, one,
Ground Control, successful ignition,
Yes!
A problem has been detected, Johanna, report,
Explosion in the reactor room!
Damage assessment,
I repeat, damage assessment,
I'm going in to get them,
Negative, Johanna,
Johanna, we are assessing the situation, wait,
Johanna, we detect a carbon dioxide leak,
I repeat, CO2 leak, don't go in, it's too dangerous,
Johanna, Tom, Zuka, answer,
Johanna, Johanna, answer,
Do you receive me?
Ground Control at ISS, Johanna respond,
Johanna, Tom, Zuka,
Can anyone hear us,
Ground Control at ISS,
They are all HS,
We're screwed,
Oh !
What's going on there?
Is anyone there?
Can you hear me or not?
Ali?
- Is that you? - Yes, it's me,
Is this another wicked space exercise?
In the isolation module the air is still stable,
Damn, the rector is already 650 degrees,
at 700°, the metal will start to deform and at 1200 it melts,
Okay,
First mission or not,
we leave no one behind,
we're going to save the Pluto mission,
Well Ali, we're not going to lie to each other, we have a lot of big problems,
The situation is even serious,
The nuclear reactor cooling system and out of service,
If we can't turn it back on,
the station will explode,
We are left,,,
We have less than 10 minutes left,
We're going to get attacked by the silver surfer, too, right?
And we have a second problem,
Johanna, Tom, Zuka are unconscious,
Camera image: reactor,
What is this bullshit!
We need you to be focused,
What the hell is this? Help!
- Okay, stay calm, okay? - You're playing with my nerves,
Intervene, do something!
Listen to me,
we will get there but only if we act together,
You have to trust me,
What should I do?
There's a mask outside, go get it,
First locker on your left,
Ali, the other left,
You put the mask on your face,
You are sure, I am claustrophobic,
Put the mask on your face,
Put it on,
Defective ventilation circuit,
It's okay, I got it,
Okay, Now go to the reactor room,
Critical oxygen level,
Now enter the reactor room,
Ali?
enter the reactor room, we don't have much time left,
Critical oxygen level,
Do you receive me?
I enter the reactor room,
I see Tom, Zuka and Johanna,
They are all unconscious,
Ali, OK, now you go into the room, you
look for where the gas is coming from, Ali,
So we can cut it,
Critical oxygen level,
Ali, find where the gas is coming from, quickly!
Okay,
Critical oxygen level,
- Ali,,, - I have it!
Number,
B357A,
Oxygenation of the station,
It's okay, it's cut!
Okay, great,
Their condition is critical, they must be evacuated urgently,
900°, we must accelerate!
We don't have much time left,
We have to bring them back to the emergency module,
Find a way to bring them back quickly,
What the fuck?
Shit,
Johanna,
You gave hope and pride to many people,
There is only one emergency module,
After ejection, you won't be able to leave,
If we can't cool the reactor,,,
Eject activated,
And now ?
NOW ?
Now we're going to save the ISS,
Let's go, rush to the reactor room,
We are going to start the cooling sequence,
Reactor overheating,
We have just exceeded 1000°!
Okay, I'm there,
Turn off the switches, the top row buttons,
Do you see them? They should turn blue,
It's red,
- What ? - It's red,
No, but he is colorblind,
Oh yes ! Good, have they changed color?
Uh yes,
OK, now snap on the two ventilator cases,
- At the bottom right, do you see them? - OK, I'll start,
Merger imminent,
Cooling activated,
Okay,
Laurent, we just learned
from direct source of the ESA,
where we are now,
that Ali Chalabi would have saved the three astronauts
of the Pluto mission,
- Do you see there? - Yeah,
- It's more at our level, - That's delivery,
He would now be alone on board to try to restore the situation,
It didn't work, the reactor will melt,
Hello,
I can't hear well,
Ali, I'm sorry,
What do you mean, sorry, I don't understand, Daniel,
Excuse me, you can repeat, what are you sorry about?
There is nothing more to do,
Wait, I don't understand,,, what is happening? Daniel!
Daniel!
What do you mean, what's going on there?
I don't want to die here!
Oh !
I'm sorry, if I could be there,
I would be,
What would you do? What's going on? Explain to me!
What's going on?
Daniel! Oh !
I want to talk to my daughter!
Daniel, I want to talk to my daughter!
Yes, yes, we take care of it,
Connection established,
Dad, is that you?
Yes my darling, it's me,
Yeah ! Are you coming home soon?
Soon yes, Soon,
You know, The stars are far away, my darling,
I can't stay there for long,
But I still wanted,,,
just let you know that you are the most
important thing I have in my entire life,
And if I haven't always been there for you,
know that you have always been with me,
OK?
I love you, my darling,
Are you crying?
No,
- Are you sad because of grandmother? - No,
You know, she's not at home anymore,
but don't worry, she will come back soon,
Yeah, we will always be here for you, Nola,
Goodbye my darling,
Dad, will you tell me a story?
It's going to be a little complicated, Nola, now,
Come on, little one,
that of Kabyle and méchoui,
“You will have stars like no one else has,
when you look at the sky,
at night, since I will live in one of them,
since I will laugh in one of them,
then it will be for you as if all the stars were laughing,
And you will sometimes open your window,
like that, for fun,
And your friends will be very surprised to see you laughing while looking at the sky,
Then you will tell them:
'Yes, the stars always make me laugh,
They will think they are crazy,
I would have played a very naughty trick on you,"
Dad, where is your star?
She is there,
But, my darling, you are right!
Ground Control! Daniel, do you have me?
So because of the heat, me, what did I want to do?
I wanted to air out, like any normal room,
Except that Johanna told me: “No,
definitely not, It’s minus 270 outside!”
So if I opened the window, I was going
to freeze and explode into little pieces,
- Yes,,, - Do you understand what I mean?
No,,,
Basically, what I mean is that if I
can ventilate the room by creating a
small breach, I could cool the reactor,
I don't want to spoil the mood
but we have to go, it's starting to get hot,
Listen, we'll look at the procedure and call you back,
A last chance mission will be led
by Ali Chalabi to prevent the
station from hitting the Earth with,,,
He's my dad!
Yes, he's your dad,
,,,Would cause a catastrophe,
Such a situation has never been
experienced in the entire history of aerospace,
Okay, Ali, we have bad news,
Worse than the one where I'm going to die?
There is something, but it's suicide,
Very funny,
Okay, I'll explain the plan to you,
You're going out,,,
To go out ? Where?
Well, in space,
Ali, are you okay?
Good, You're going out into space,
And you will go
along the station
to the reactor room,
By always being well attached because
otherwise you will be carried into space,
Once you arrive at the porthole, you
will place the explosive charge on the wall,
But gently, because she is very, very sensitive
vibrations and shaking,
The explosion will open a breach, which will
freeze the reactor at less than 172 degrees,
You'll need to hold on tight because the
station will be projected at more than 300 km/h,
And we will then guide it to bring it back into orbit,
So,
I forgot, once outside you will be out of radio
range and no one will be able to guide you,
So,
Do you have any questions?
You won't forget to tell my ex, that,
A last chance mission will be
led by Ali Chalabi to prevent
the station from hitting the
Earth with the nuclear reactor on board,,,
Come on, Ali, you can do it, Come on,
It's incredible that this Chalabi found himself,,,
like that in the ISS, Finally, what do you think, Sir?
It's true that it's a situation,,,
Good luck, astronaut,
Ah!
What the fuck am I doing here?
What the hell am I doing here,
All alone in space like an idiot,
We have to go, we have to go,
Damn, I was good at Delivroom,
I was delivering fajitas, not explosives,
I'm hot, Ah!
I am alive,
Come on, come on,
One, two,
Ah!
Yes, Yes,
I got it, I got it,
Oh shit, I won't make it
It's too far,
Come on, it doesn't matter, you are the space Berber,
I am the space Berber,
Come on Ali,
Don't think about anything anymore,
Oh how pretty they are
the girls
of my country,
Oh how pretty they are
the girls
of my country,
Oh how pretty they are
Oh how beautiful they are,
What's going on?
I don't know, my darling,
Ali, are you receiving us?
Ground Control to Ali,
Ground Control to Ali!
That was a big blow,
Yeah !
- Yeah ! -Yes!
Yeah !
He's too strong!
He's too strong,
Incredibly, Ali saved the ISS and avoided collision with Earth,
It's madness!
Ali! Ali! Ali!
It's your dad,
He's a hero,
He's a space Berber,
Okay, Ground Control, I finished the
CHF config, I'm going to switch to SSCL,
Perfect, Ali, we are OK on schedule,
Don't worry Sergeant Ripley, we are going to stick to this schedule,
Commander Ripley to be exact,
Speaking of planning, I'm preparing yours
for your return to earth,
Wouldn't that be the return of the Big Boss himself?
I see news travels fast in space,
I was the only one crazy enough to watch over you,
That's for sure,
Well, you are first expected to return to
the Élysée, then to the ESA, obviously,,,
Listen, they're going to wait, because
now it's time for my daily meeting,
Ali,,,
SO ?
6/10,
But no 9/10,
Ah, I'm proud of you, Nola, that’s good!
Grandma is also proud of me,
She's coming home from the hospital tomorrow, I'm so happy,
I know, I'm so happy too,
Nola, it's time to go to sleep,
So, teeth, pee, bed,
Kisses daddy,
Did you take your hair down?
Ah good ?
Yeah, Do you like it?
Oh well, I love it,
I can't wait for you to come home, Han Solo,
I can't wait to go home too, It's
hard to be here, like this, alone,
I'll wait for you then,
This time, don't be late, Eh ?
It's okay Sergeant Nola, can we go there?
Yes,
“The moon advanced over a firmament of limpid purity,
extinguishing the sparkling lights of the stars in its path,
It was then traveling through the constellation Gemini
and was almost halfway between the horizon and the zenith,
Everyone should therefore easily understand
that we were aiming in front of the goal, as
the hunter aims in front of the hare he wants to hit,
A frightening silence hung over this entire scene,
Not a breath of,,,"