"Hi, you're julién, right? No, I'm julién", Shit!
"Oh, I didn't see you!"
That's so phony,
"You're not,,,?" Fuck!
- Julién? - Yes, Fuck!
You're julién, right?
Yes, You're Ana, right?
- How are you? - Hi, Nice to meet you,
Same here,
How many of us will there be? I had no time to check the app,
Yes, there'ii be,,,
I'm a mess,
It's my first trip and,,,
Three of us, sorry, I wanted to take just one,
but I didn't know how to block the seats,
and it's three of us, I mean you, that makes four,
- If you know what I mean, - Yes, yes,
- You're going to cieza, right? - Yes,
If you don't mind, It's a simple detour,
I'll just open the door and push you out,
- Okay, okay, - It's also,,,
Miguel? Julian,
Ana, Nice to meet you,
I was going to say, he's going to cieza too,
he's coming, so,, No problem,
With a bit of luck we won't hit much traffic,
Yes, I hope not, We'll get there sooner,
I don't think we will,
Great, We're all here,
- Hello, - Hello,
- Miguel, - Ana,
- Elisa, - How are you? I'm Julian,
People aren't usually so punctual,
Wasn't this your first trip?
In general, in life I mean, as a concept,
It's so you don't get bad reviews,
Shall we go?
- Let's go, - Right,
- Well,,, - Let's go, yes,
We have a slight luggage problem,
As I was telling Ana,
I wanted to take just one person,
and there are three of us and I've got my stuff,,,
- I'll go, right? - Yes, well,,,
There,
Be careful, Don't touch that, Sorry,
- Oh, sorry, - No, it's alright,
I've got some sensitive items, You don't mind if I "Tetris" it?
- No, not at all, - I know how it goes, Is this yours?
- Yes, - How silly, you're holding it,
- There we go, - And this?
Mind taking it with you? It's small,
I'll go up front, I get carsick in back,
Belts in back, eh?
It's weird meeting here, this is a cruising spot,
No, it's a bullring,
Do you know what "cruising" is?
Carpoolers beware of whom you travel with
Well,,,
First stop, cieza, right?
Very pretty, la atalaya,
And the other one,,,? I really like,,,
El almorchon,
Very nice,
Mom, We've left Madrid, okay? And everything's fine,
I'll send you another audio later, Big kiss,
Sorry, My mom prefers audios to messages,
- What's that? - What?
- What?
What?
Well,,,
- Does your face ring a bell? - Huh?
Does your face ring a bell?
- When someone's face rings a bell,,, - Speak up, the noise in front,,,
Sorry, your face rings a bell, but I don't know from where,
- Ah, No, - No?
- No, - No?
See?
No, no,
It's odd that it rings a bell,
Faces don't ring bells, but you say "it rings a bell",
- If you know what I mean, - Maybe from murcia?
Are you from murcia?
Yes, I've been in Madrid for 8 years, but I go back a lot,
Murcia doesn't ring any bells,
Where are you from?
I'm kind of a mess,,,
Because?
My mother's galician
and my father's catalan, but I was born in andalusia,
- I'm andalusian, - Right,
But I'm a Madrid guy, I've been here 20 years or so,
Maybe you know each other from Madrid,
- No, not Madrid either, - Sure, That'd be a coincidence,
Maybe it's a feeling of,,,
- Not me, Really, no, - No?
I have a very ordinary face,
Really? You think so?
I get that a lot, that I look like people,
- Who, for example? - People, people,
But who?
They say I look a lot like,,,
Thatjanitor,,, not a real one, from that series,,,
He plays a janitor in that series about neighbors,,,
Fuck! Right! Maybe that's why he rings a bell,
- I don't know who you mean, - Yes, that guy, he's,,,
- Kind of weird, - Hey!
- What's his name? Hold on,,, - I know who you mean,
He looks like him,
I don't know, I don't know,
They tell me that a lot, that I look like that bastard,
They also say the guy from "jaws",
They tell me that,
And that guy,,,
Who made that movie,,,
With the beard,,, Robin,,, Robin Williams,
And bardem in that movie with the Oscar, the hair,,,
No?
- I get Leonardo DiCaprio too, - That I don't see,
- No? - No,
Maybe it's not a resemblance,,, Your face just rings a bell,
I get that a lot,
Sorry,
When I was young,
Pig: You're really acting like you don't know me?
Ana: After everything, it's like I don't,
You two are from cieza, right?
Albacete,
My parents are from there, but I've always lived in Harvard city,
Harvard city,,,
What university are you at?
Me?
Yes, where are you from?
Elche, but my parents have a summer house in the town,
Cieza can't be very big,
No,
Well,,,
Eight years in Madrid?
Exactly, yes, eight,
Eight,
Do you go to see your family in murcia much?
My mother, we're very close,
How come?
I grew up alone with her and,,,
And, well,,,
- That's great, - Yes,
- How is she? - My mother?
Good, great,
I'm so glad,
Say hi from me,
And are you visiting family?
- Eh? - Me?
- Yes, - Oh, yeah,,, family,,,
Cousins, or,,,?
Yes, cousins, aunts and uncles,,,
And murcia, And,,,
Right,
- Oh, sorry, - No, it's fine,
I don't usually like going with first-timers,
- What is it now? What? - Excuse me? I don't,,,
No, sorry, it was the guy behind, he put on,,,
He flashed his lights, What a drag, Sorry,
I was saying that I don't much like going with first-timers,
I've had my license for 20 years, don't worry,
We agree on that, first times are never great,
These days I don't trust anything without reviews,
They should invent reviews for couples,
It'd be fucking great, so the next person knows what to expect,
Sure, but nobody would give an ex a good review,
Why not? I know lots of people who get on great with their exes,
Girl, I must've had bad luck,
because there's one that I'd give zero stars,
"dislike", thumbs down and all the bad there is,
But, normally,
if it ends it's because it was going badly, no?
I agree, Sometimes things end because that's life,
There's no need to be so bitter,
Anyway,
if no one travels with anyone who has no reviews,
they'll never do a first trip to get a review from someone,
It's the dog biting its tail, If you know what I mean,
I know what you mean, Julian,
Your name is Julian, right?
Yes,
Sorry, I'm bad with names,
I do lots of checks and this trip was really cheap,
Yes, you killed the competition with this price, eh?
I only wanted to take one person,
so three compensates me more than I needed,
You know what I mean?
But do you set the price first, then fill the seats, or not?
No,
- Yes, I think so, - Yes,
- Really? No, - Yeah, yeah,
- Oh, yeah, - Yeah, yeah,
With this app I'm kind of clumsy,,,
No, sure, sure,
If it weren't for the bargain, I would've passed up on it,
Some hairy stuff has happened lately,
Hairy? Like what?
Didn't you hear about the girl who had a horrible trip with three guys?
- Yes, - Oh, yes,
Then the company did trips with only girls because
loads of fucked-up cases started to come out,
Yes, Besides,
without comments you don't know if the driver's bad,
- a kamikaze, if he smokes,,, - I understand
that this is important to you, but we were talking about,,,
- Us girls being safe, - I didn't mean that,
Sure, but as usual, you're not really aware
of how scared we are,
- Sure, okay, - Well, it's a long way to go,
- I take these trips a lot, - Huh?
I take these trips a lot
and surreal things happen to you and people tell you about,
but people are normally fine,
At least that's my impression,
Surreal like what, Elisa?
One time this thing happened that was a bit,,,
- Of a bummer, - What happened to you?
Yes, on one of my trips to murcia,
I always go to murcia at the same time on Fridays,
and I was with a driver, a man around 50,
or thereabouts, I think,
From the moment he saw me,
he was staring at me all the time,
Naturally,
I was with another girl, I was up front,
The guy acted so weird with me,
Anyway, he was a professor at murcia university,
I looked it up on the net, When I saw it was true, I relaxed,
- Sure, - I know it's a prejudice,
Positive, but a prejudice anyway,
I understand you perfectly,
When we stopped and got out of the car,
the man looked at me and said: "Listen, I'm going to tell you,,,
I see dead people",
- What are you saying?! - He said that next to me
- there was an old lady, - Fucking hell,
Yes, but wait, there's more,
He told me that the old lady
was my paternal grandmother, or so he believed,
- I never met my paternal grandmother, - Fuck!
That's more stuff about family, and I told him,
Then the man said that
he believed my grandmother was with me all the time
because she wanted to make up for lost time,
I'm a wimp about all that stuff, Can you imagine?
I felt like crap on the trip,,,
I sat in back, to make room for the lady, or whatever,
It was total paranoia,
Yeah, totally, eh?
I got home, blocked him, and put zero stars, Never again,
Yes, he drove okay, but he thinks he's the kid from "sixth sense",
There are some oddballs around, wow,
But it was the weirdest time, The rest were fine,
Well, the number of indecisive people lately
who sign up and don't go,,, You haven't had that?
- No, - They pay and everything,
I've had loads lately, And all new accounts,
One time there was this weirdo
who turned up at the meeting spot,,,
And then didn't get in the car,
Fuck, of course, it was you! I knew your face rang a bell,
From that,
From what?
- Yeah, yeah, it's him, - It wouldn't be me,
Yeah, sure, We were at conde de casal,
I was in the car, The driver and another guy were outside,
You came along, said something about your phone and didn't get in,
It's you,
- Yeah, yeah, - Yes!
Yes, yes, That's incred,,, At conde,,,? Conde,,,?
- Conde de casal, - Yes,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's possible,
What do you mean "possible"?
Jeez, yes! Amazing! But that was ages ago,
- No, not that long, - Not that long, No, it's just,,,
I was going to go, but,,,
I couldn't in the end and my battery ran out,
I went to tell you, I'm a mess,
A weirdo, she says,
Oh, excuse me,
I had to rush to that meeting spot
because I felt terrible, I couldn't go, my battery ran out
and I went to tell you, If you know what I mean,
But wasn't this your first trip?
Well, I didn't get to make it, technically,
- Technically, sure, - But your username is new,
- I lost my account, - You lost your account?
I forgot my password, You know, there's,,,
- One for Facebook, for Instagram,,, - Use the same one for everything,
I'm wary, I have one for each thing,
It's crazy, just imagine,,,
- You can recover the password,,, - There was no way,
Incredible, jeez,,,
I totally forgot about it, really,
I tell you, with that app I'm a total klutz,
And you were where,,,?
Inside the car, I told you,
Oh, inside the car, sure, That's why I don't remember,
Nice guys,,, They didn't get mad or anything,
They didn't give me back the money, but they didn't get mad,
They also say I look like Fernando redondo,
- And the phone battery? - Huh?
Who goes around, especially on a trip, without a charger?
You left home in the morning knowing you were going on a trip,
and you didn't take a charger? That doesn't add up,
Aren't we obsessing about this?
- Sorry, - That's alright,
That's what I think, Suddenly, this third degree,
- But it is a coincidence, - Yes,
The app doesn't have many Madrid-murcia trips, I say,
Well,,,!
I guess it's easy to coincide,
People always doing the same thing,,, Right? Or not,
Pig: The app said you were coming and I got excited,
Ana: If I'd known I would've ducked out of it,
Shall we put on some music? What do you like?
I like everything,
The app said you could choose
what music you like or not, but it should,,,
Tell you what type too, right?
Yes, maybe,
Speaking of which, I once did of these trips to the town
with my girl at the time,
and the driver was normal,
- He didn't see dead people, - No,
- That's lucky, - He was an old guy,
He said that to stay awake, he had to put on heavy metal,
But real hardcore, screaming, the whole deal,
Imagine it, a three-hour trip
staring at each other in silence and this guy singing,
And those voices from the undennorld, just imagine,
That's what I'm saying,
"I like music" fine, but it should say what kind, right?
All that?
Hey, to be,,, prepared, right?
Something special for the passenger, a nice "refuse",,,
But if you're so detailed, this looks more like "tindercar",
It's notjoke, that "tindercar" thing,
Once I was going with two who sat here in back
and noticed they were chatting excitedly like,,,
Sparks were flying,
Suddenly the driver looks at me and elbows me,
I look in the rearview mirror and they're snogging, For real!
Really?
- Wild! - Yes,
- Amazing! - I believe in cupid's arrow,
Maybe it makes sense to invent this "tindercar" thing,
A two-in-one app:
For singles to meet while they travel and see what happens,
- That sounds awful, - No, I agree, There's a business there,
You never know
where love's going to appear,
It'd suck being on a four-hour blind date
- with a dude you're not into, - That's true, yes,
For sure,
The cool part of all this,
apart from travelling more cheaply,
is who you travel with, you get to know other lives,
other ways of thinking,
Tell me the company you keep and I'll tell you who you are,
Well, if you guys don't care,
I'll put on a great song,
- Right,,, - What are you doing?
Nothing, Hold on, How does this go?
- Want some help? - Yes, take the wheel,
- The wheel, - Yes, for a second,
- No, I'm not taking the wheel, - Please, watch the road,
- It's fine, Elisa, it's fine, - No, watch the road, please,
- Do you have a license? - Please, hurry, Yes, I have,
We're gonna die!
- This isn't fucking funny, - It's fine, I've got it,
It was two seconds, It's fine, it's fine,
- There we go, - What's that contraption?
I really like cds,
And the new radio systems don't have them,
You're gonna freak,
Look, look how it comes in, Feel it, feel it,
It was better when you said
you loved me as well,
Now it's all gone,
Who is this?
It's the fucking brincos, motherfucker!
That you needed me,
Now it's all gone,
And you, you,,,
You're not the same anymore,
Don't tell me yes,
I don't know what to think,,,
Pig: I'm sorry, really, I'd love to not be your zero-stars ex,
It was better when I believed
that you understood me,
Now I see that you didn't,
It was better when I believed
that you didn't lie to me,
Now I see that you did,
And you, you,,,
You're not the same anymore,
Don't tell me yes,
I don't know what to think,,,
I'm going to get some gas,
Points, for the free gifts,
I'm this close to a blender,
Mom,,,
We just stopped for gas,
The trip is fine,
We're chatting, I'll send you another audio later, Big kiss,
This guy's a bit weird, huh?
- What? - This guy is weird,
- A bit, yeah, - Right?
And he dropped his wallet before and I accidentally saw his ID,
- His name's not Julian, - What?
It's not Julian, it's Antonio,
What the hell are you saying?
Let's not make it obvious, eh?
It could be a nickname,
- but from Antonio to Julian,,, - Exactly,
Who'd lie about their name on one of these apps?
Do you want,,, anything?
- Potato chips,,, or drinks? - No, no,
- Nothing? - Nothing,
You can hear him, Why is he talking like that?
Do you need to pee or whatever? I won't be stopping,
No, no, no,
This guy is really weird, And all these lies?
The excuses he made for not taking that trip, the app thing,,,
Why am I listed as "pig" in your contacts?
- What? - Are you looking at my phone?
No, but I saw it by accident,
- You list me as "pig", - You know each other?
It's none of your business at this point, eh?
Oh, great,
- What's going on here? - Nothing,
- That's it, lie to her as well, - "As well"?
When did I lie to you?
Can someone tell me what's going on here?
We know each other, we were a couple,
It was no big deal,
Three years was no big deal?
Yes, You didn't give a shit about those three years,
- Where did you get that idea? - Guys, please, settle down,
Why do you hate me? What did I do to you?
Seriously? You're really asking me that?
You dumped me and hooked up with Monica,
- What are you saying? - My best friend!
- I didn't hook up with Monica, - Bullshit!
Ade told me you'd hooked up with someone from the group,
but she couldn't say who, She was very cryptic!
Who else could it be? Monica!
But she didn't admit it, Never mind, I don't talk to her now,
- I didn't hook up with her, - You're such a liar!
Guys, this isn't the time or the place, is it?
- I didn't hook up with her, - For you, I went to Madrid to study,
And suddenly you didn't want me, you didn't care about me,
Friends since we were kids,
Since we were kids, and you didn't care,
Ana, people change,
You don't like the same things,
You're not the same person,
I don't know,
You have to talk about it,
You talk, you work on it,,,
And fix it,
You owe it to yourself,
You don't,,,
Cut it off and dump on it,
You don't understand,
Then explain it to me,
Well,,,
- Sorry, I got carried away, - No, no,,,
Yes, Sorry, I,,,
Well, kind of,,,
It doesn't mean that this guy isn't still a bit loopy, right?
Sure,
Yes, he's going to see his family, then he isn't,
that was really weird,
- And he stares at you a lot, - Please, let's not start,
All these questions, asking after your mother,,,
Aren't we getting a bit paranoid?
I say that because I scare,,, Very easily,
That smile,
Yes, he's got a creepy smile,
This is so stressful!
Like I said: Don't travel without reviews,
- You know the worst part? - What?
I think I don't just know him from that trip he ducked out on,
- What? - Yes, I do know him from that,
but,,,
I get the feeling,,,
It's something else, you know?
All this is starting to
- bum me out, - Fuck, he's coming, he's coming!
Watch out, eh?
For later,
In case someone gets peckish,
Someone just stepped over my grave,
I love them,
No, no thanks,
I'll put it here,
Dani: I'm still amazed you left without us working it out,
And what do you guys do?
Me?
Community manager,
That's,,, sorry! It slipped out,
That's a social networks thing, right?
- Yes, - I'm such a goof,,,
Maybe we could meet up one day, and you can give me a class,
show me a trick or two,
I'm a kindergarten teacher,
I'm
Hello?
Yes, I'm in the car, yes,
I'm not leaving you a message because there's nothing to say,
When I get there, we'll talk, Not now, I can't,
Okay, Fine, we'll talk now,
Yes, yes, you're right,
Don't tell me I didn't warn you,
I told you: "I can't have a relationship now",
You didn't give a shit, you didn't care how I was,
You went on and on about it,
Yes, very nice, very thoughtful, very pleasant,
but I told you "I can't now",
It's water off a duck's back to you, eh?
And I'm sorry, "I told you so" isn't a blank check,
I can't go on with this, Dani,
It sucks when a breakup leads to a loop of more breakups, but,,,
I can't take it anymore,
Don't call me,
Sorry,
No, no, it's fine,
Fuck!
Some people don't empathize that it's not the right time for you,,,
When you want to talk,,,
When you want to have a relationship or not,,,
Well,,,
Sorry, really,
We all get "besotted" at some point,
"Besotted"?
By somebody,
Yes, maybe,
I'm not saying I don't understand, but, fuck,,,
- Forgive me, eh? - Nothing to forgive,
It's just,,,
A lot of feelings at once, you know?
Thanks,
It's just that,,,
Maybe I was too hard, but,,,
But I told him,,, I told him,,,
It wasn't the time, I didn't feel right for,,,
It happens in some relationships,
You start seeing somebody who's with someone else and,,,
You hope they'll get better with you,
But it's not a good idea, It's a mistake,
Totally, totally,
Yes, maybe,
- Sorry, eh? Really, - No, it's fine,
- Take it easy, - Please, It's all fine,
Fuck it,
What a downer,
- This is a first for me, - Me too,
Now you have an anecdote to tell on your next trip,
No, I don't want any,
No, no,
Let's lift up our hearts to the lord,
Pig: I think this guy has rope in the trunk,
Shall we play something? I read a book recently,
a cheap psychology book on first impressions and such,
Now you know me a bit better,,,
How does it go?
We define each other in a sentence,
Pig: That's why he was weird when we moved things,
We make a profile of sensations,
But you've got an edge because you've read the book,
But they are only guidelines, It's logical stuff,
like when you first meet someone and get a mental image of them,
Prejudices don't interest me,
- It's only a game, - No, I don't want to,
Yes, come on, I'll go, Yes, I'll go,,, with you,
- Really, I'm bad at this, - Yeah, yeah,
- No, no, - Yes, I'll take the leap,
- I think that you,,, - Yes,
This is hard, We haven't spoken much,,,
Come on, go,
Pig: Hey, seriously, I'm freaking out,,,
I don't know,,,
This is going to turn out bad,
I think you're a special person,,,
Who doesn't usually fit in,
I said that, yes,
You're forgetful, absent minded,,, The passwords, I mean,
I think,,,
You're a little obsessive,
You're the typical guy,,,
Who hates his name,
Why is that?
I don't know, because,,,
Some people hate it, some love it,,,
For example, I love my name,
Congratulations,
What's that got to do with me being absent minded,
not fitting in or,,,?
I don't know, I don't know, It's what,,,
The book said,
It's a sign of,,, of social panic,
It makes sense,
What? Did I get anything right? I kind of did, right?
Kind of,,, I've got the face of the weird kid in class,
No, I didn't say weird,
It's alright, you hinted before,,,
Pig: Anaaaaaa
about looking like people, that I was a freak and,,,
But it's silly stuff, like your horoscope,
you talk in broad strokes that could apply to anyone,
It's fine, okay? I get told that all the time,
I knew I wouldn't like this game,
- I didn't say it like,,, - Don't worry, okay?
My turn,
For example, Miguel,
Good luck,
Alright, I think,,,
You're kind of a nervous guy who,
conversely, was one of the cool kids at school,
"Conversely", she says,
You're also a bit of a slacker,
But not in the bad sense, You,,,
Go with the flow in life, you're a free soul,
Yes, he's the cool one,
I said the first thing that came into my head,
Yes, so I see,
- No, it was fine, - It's no big deal,
I see him more as the cold guy who hides behind his shell,
- Come on, - There you go,
This game is fine, but things aren't what they seem,
Correct,
- Sure, - Sure,
Well, my turn, Nobody's talked about you,
Me?
Right,,,
I think you're a girl,,,
How observant!
Who doesn't notice the signs,
You're strong-willed,
but in the good sense, When you decide, you go to the finish,
You're determined, you go for it
because you know what you want,
You're brave,
Only I belly-flop here,
I think that this empathy
you ask of people, you then don't use with others,
- You haven't finished? - No, Well, yes, sorry,
Yes, I have,
First you're offended, then you worry about how the other person feels,
Well!
It's an impression, from the call,
Sure,
Your turn now, or what?
No, not me, I don't feel like it,
- Why not? - No, this guessing thing,,,
The nice thing is to really get to know people,
But it's a game,
Sure, but I don't feel like it and,,,
I'd get Elisa, I suppose, I'd say so, right?
Since she hasn't,,,
I wouldn't know where to start because I don't know her,
I'd like to know her better, If you know what I mean,
Yes, We do, yes,
No, no, no,,, what I mean is,,,
- No, Take it easy, eh? - It's like,,, no,,,
It's alright, Really, don't worry,
Let's do something else,
Yeah, Well, yeah,,, There are other games,
License plates now?
It gives me a fright,
- Aren't you going to pick up? - No,
- No, I mean, I'm driving, - But you've got speaker,
Sure, but it's dangerous, It causes loads of accidents,
I don't want to,
So why do you have the phone connected?
It comes on by itself, I don't know how to turn it off,
I'm a klutz with the phone, You get in and there it is,
Incoming call: Miriam
- who is it? - What do you care?
Just kidding,
- It's,,, my wife, - It's your wife?
- Your wife?! - Yes,
Sorry, I never imagined,,,
- Since you don't wear a ring, - Right,
Answer it, she'll want to know how you're doing,
- No, I don't want to, - Pick it up,
No, I'm driving, I told you, It's not,,,
- Answer it, - Hi, honey,
- I was about to hang up, - Listen,,,
- What? - Yeah, look,,,
- How are you, good? - Great, How are you doing?
- Great, relaxed here, Listen,,, - Coming, coming,
- Listen,,, - Sorry, Where are you?
Around tarancon, Listen,,,
- Great! How is it? - Good,
- Have you two spoken? - Huh?
- Have you spoken to her? - What's that? What?
Say hello, everyone's listening on speaker,
- Hello, - "Hello", she says,
- Yes, Hello, - Hello,
- How many of you are there?
- Three or four, I'll tell you later, - Right, Why did you answer
- if you can't speak? - You called,
- Where do you think I am? - And you hate speaker phone,
I don't know, you'd made a stop, I thought,
If you answer the phone, it means you can talk,
- Yes, One moment, yes, - We'll talk later, alright?
Yes, that'd be better, Sorry, eh? 'Bye,
Right, 'bye,
She's so friendly,
Pig: This guy has rope in the trunk
I'll put on another great song, by los brincos,
Another one?
Ana: Fuck, I hadn't read it, sorry,
You said goodbye to me,
I don't know why,
I don't know, I don't know,
Pig: Are you going to keep calling me "pig" on your phone?
Why was I to blame?
Ana: Okaaaay, I'll change it
you played with my love,
Pig
why?
Why?
Unrated ex
but it doesn't matter,
I forgive you,
I've already forgotten
what happened,
You know I'm still in love,,,
I'll turn off the ac,
Your throat, I mean,
- No, no, I'm,,, - Are you sure?
- No, I'm fine, Yeah, yeah, - Okay,
Don't look back,
I know that you'll come back,,,
Unrated ex: Better,,,
To me, I know it,
I know it,
Ana: Can't you see this guy thought he was taking one girl
to adbuct and take to his wife to perform satanic rituals
before dismembering her with a hacksaw?
But it doesn't matter,,,
You millennials and your phones, eh?
Right,
Twenty years ago, this trip
would be all non-stop talk, Since there weren't
phones or the world outside,,, You know what I mean?
But 20 years ago this app wouldn't exist
- or shared trips or,,, - That's true too,
It's the way things are now,
There are four of us here, but we're really with more people,
Like your grandmother, right?
Just kidding,
Like your wife,
To me, I know,
I know,
To me, I know,
Roberto: How did Ana react?
Mom: How are you doing, honey?
Dani: I felt like shit,
I don't remember what happened
to our love,
I only know
that it slowly ended,
If life pulled us apart,
it wasn't on purpose, What are you going to do?
Where will you go like that, woman?
Everything alright?
Yes,
I dropped my phone
and I'm not flexible,
That's strange,
you girls are always very elastic,
Where will you go?
But I think it's best
to forget, to get back
together again,,,
To start over,
Nobody loves you now,
What are you going to do?
Where will you go?
I don't remember what happened
to our love,,,
- Sorry, - I only know,,,
- I'm a bit clumsy, - Me too,
Nobody loves you now,
What are you going to do?
Where will you go?
I don't remember what happened to our love,,,
Don't get scared
I only know that
it slowly ended,
But under that seat
nobody loves you now,
There's a gun,
Nobody loves you now,
What are you going to do?
Where will you go?
Nobody loves you now,
Hey, your family,,,
In murcia, where are they from?
- Murcia, - Sure,
What part, I mean,
The,,, center,,,
Wow, like me!
What part of the center?
Well,,,
I couldn't say exactly, because I'm not from there,
I don't know much,,,
- Aren't you going to see them? - Yes, I am, I am,
It's near the cathedral,
I'll look for it on the GPS, the address,
Miguel added you to the group: "What the hell's going on here",
Ana: Hello,
Elisa: Hi, it's Elisa, the girl behind you,
Miguel: This guy's got rope in the trunk
and a gun under the seat,
No! No, no, no!
- No! No! - What's going on?
What's going on?
- What's going on? - What? What?
My calf, my calf, my calf,
- Your calf? - Yes, a cramp, It's going,
Holy Mary mother of god, It's going, it's going,
- Sure, sure, okay, - It's getting better, thanks, Sorry,
What a fright,
Ana: What do you mean, "a gun"?
Ana: It must be a toy,
Elisa: It doesn't look like a toy,
So, are you a soldier or what?
Me? Why?
No, I don't know, because a lot of soldiers
and police take these trips,
They're posted far from home and travel almost every weekend,
- Yes, that's true, - Oh, fine, Yes,
But I told you, my house is in Madrid,
What I meant to say is that you've coincided with,,,
Lots of "grunts" on these trips, you know?
Yes, but I also told you that,,,
- I don't use this app much, - But are you a soldier or not?
- No way, - No?
No, no, Do I look like one?
Have you seen many soldiers with this mop?
Yes, yes,,, actually, no,
And soldiers don't look like
the class weirdo,
Sure, sure,
The girl with the book of tricks is the worst judge of people,
Yes,
- What do you do? - I'm a civil servant,
Shit!
A prison guard?
No, What? No,
- What? - No,
- No? - No, damn it,
Prison guard,,,!
I don't know, you could be,
I could, but it's a long shot and very specific, huh?
Sure,
I'm a normal civil servant, in admin, the ones they say don't work,
It's an urban legend, The other day I helped one guy,
It was a joke, A joke,
So you're a hunter, You like hunting, right?
Now I hunt elephants with the king! Or I'm a nazarene,,,
- I don't know, - I don't hunt!
- Hunting's a tradition in murcia, - But I'm not from murcia!
Okay, okay, it's true, you don't hunt, Sorry, sorry,
No, it's alright, What a crazy gal,
Elisa: We're all going to die
the other night
I was dancing with Lola,,,
Ana: Let's calm down
and she said to me
that she felt so lonely,
Elisa: I told you I'm a wimp, Guns, rope, fake names
she thought I didn't love her,,,
Miguel: Yes,
And she believed,,,
Ana: In any case, he wants to kill you,
I was seeing another girl,
You know it's not true,
[never lie to you,
Stop your crying now because I love you,
Ana: What if the other trip was to get a look at you?
Because he's obsessed with you,
That's why he rings a bell, That's why he's following you,
I was never with another,,,
Elisa: Don't fuck with me,
You're the only one, Lola,
Miguel: Okay, maybe we're losing it,
I kissed her face,,,
Elisa: No, no, no, what do we do?
- Ana: He's cottoning on, - Sorry, A friend has a problem,
- No, take it easy, - She is smiling,,,
Miguel: What are we going to do? It's going to get worse,
- What's wrong? - What?
What?
Your friend, What's wrong?
Nothing, nothing,
The other night I was dancing,,,
He's shit-scared,
Of what? Of what?
Of telling his girlfriend the truth,
Miguel: We hang on until we get there,
Kissing in the shadows,
Like kids,,,
Elisa: You guys get out first and I'll stay here with him,
I have to stop,
Like kids kissing,,,
Seriously?
We just made a stop,
Right,
Can't you hold on?
- Girls' stuff, - Oh, jeez,
Is it,,, very urgent?
Yes,
I told you, eh?
- Really? - Why would I lie to you?
No, I mean because,,,
We're not far from cieza, you can get out,,,
- And I'll be left with Elisa,,, - I have to stop too,
As well?
Yes,
For the same reason?
- I have to go regularly, - Right,
- I'm sorry, eh? - No, it's fine,
Seriously, it's not far,
I think it's better to hang on,
- No, - No,
Okay, Okay, okay, okay,
But it has to be one,,,
One,,, one what?
Like I said, one you can see from the road,
I'm not taking an exit that says "gas"
that leads you to some town, and getting out of there,,,
- If you know what I mean, - You didn't say that,
What's the plan?
Ana: When we stop, we get out and tell someone,
Ana: And when he gets out, you grab the gun,
Miguel: What if he doesn't get out?
I said somewhere near the road, This took us all over the place!
It must be urgent,
Make the most of it and get out,
I went before and I'm,,,
If you know what I mean,
Don't be long, please, I don't want to be late,
- Hey, - What?
What?
Aren't you going to ask if we want anything?
Do you want anything?
No, thanks,
Searching,,,
No signal
Girls, huh? With their,,, stuff,,,
Yeah,
Girls, I don't think there's a signal,
I don't know if you can tell anyone,
Are you alright?
Yes, Well, I'm a bit hot,
Sorry, shall I put on the ac?
- Please, - Yeah?
- You could take off yourjacket, - What?
I'll put it on,
How about her! Incredible,
That,,, that girl, Ana, is that her name?
She's not right, Know what I mean?
She's not mentally balanced, huh?
You think so?
She's not right,
I'd like to be half as balanced as her,
She has the same problems as anybody, but,,,
At least she's not afraid to do what she has to,
even in front of strangers,
I think that's being brave,
No, you get in front,
You're getting off later,
What are we going to do? It's going to get worse,
We hang on until we get there,
Ana: Fucking deserted Spain!
Elisa: We couldn't tell anyone,
Ana: I sent the location to my mom,
Elisa: With him here, we can't call,
Great, This is nice, eh? No traffic at all,
We're,,,
All alone, all alone,
Yeah, great,
Elisa: There must be something we can do,
Mom
mom!
That was fast,
Yes, Yes, yes,
You didn't need to call me,
Then,,, save it,
And if you see that,,,
Call who you have to call,
Yes, no, don't worry,
I,,, can't talk,
Exactly,
Yes,
Yes, yes,
Okay, Okay, okay,
Don't worry, it's all fine, 'Bye,
My mother,
Ana: We have to do something,
Ana: Grab the gun and let's find out what's going on,
Do you have a boyfriend?
Yes, I sure do, yes,
And,,,
How's the life of a civil servant? Great, huh?
Good, yes, It has its downside,
People are very strange,
- Really? - And very silly,
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, Well,,,
You're dealing with the public,
they sometimes kick up a fuss and you want to say:
"Sir, you're very silly", But, of course,
you can't say that to their faces, right?
- Sure, - But I can't complain,
Passing the exam must've been hard, right?
Correct,
Hey,,, and really hard,
How long did it take you?
A couple of years,
Great, huh?
Yes, actually,,, Yes, it's really good,
Great,
Well, there we go, A job for life,
Everything alright there?
- Yes, - Yes,
I'm,,, tying my shoelaces,
Are you going for a run?
Where do you work exactly?
In pradillo, the civil register,
You must have some tales to tell,
Yes, I was just telling you,,,
That,,, people are really,,,
People go nuts, If you know what I mean,
Cut out this fucking "know what I mean" shit!
What are you doing?
Well,,,
Well, what?
Threatening you,
No, I see, I see,
We found this,
And?
- Fuck! - Shit!
Fuck,
Are,,, you alright? You got a problem, kid?
Alright, alright, Tell us what's going on, eh?
No, you tell me first, And you ladies too,
We're jumpy, but that's no reason to forget inclusive language,
You're weird, both genders,
- And those looks,,, I'm not stupid, - What?
Tell us what you're planning!
- What are you talking about? - We caught you!
What? What do you mean "we"?
Well, the gun was fake, okay? But you were going to abduct her!
- What? Who? - Her,
- But,,, - Don't act dumb now,
Were going to threaten us with a toy gun?
- It's my son's! - Now he's got a son,
- How strange! - Now he's got a son,
First his wife, which he didn't mention, now his son,
Sorry, the next time I meet someone I'll state my marital status:
"I'm Julian, I'm married and I have a son", Just in case,,,
- No, but it's all been very weird, - What are you talking about?
It's been weird, so talk!
Weirdo!
- Hey, relax and talk to me properly, - Fuck that!
- That slipped out, - You've spooked us the whole trip,
- No,,, - Especially Elisa!
You too?
Kind of,
Look, he's obsessed with her, He's obsessed with her!
- It's not that! Fuck! - We're not stupid!
"We're not stupid"? Shut up, "gunslinger"!
First the lies, "Antonio",
Your name's Antonio, I saw your ID,
- Fuuuck, - Then you'd never been on a trip,,,
And Elisa saw you on a trip that you mysteriously deleted,
- But I think that's,,, - And the excuses, you lie out your ass,
- And the rope, - The rope,,, him too now!
And you all agree? Finally! You're all nuts,
No, you're nuts, a rapist and a kidnapper!
You wanted to travel alone with Elisa to abduct and rape her
- because you're obsessed with her, - Are you out of your mind?
- What are you on about? - It's crystal clear,
You're obsessed with her, from god knows where,
Maybe the app, or the trip you didn't go on,
For sure, these people are nuts,
You followed her trail until you finally decided,
You made up a cheap trip to catch her, and you did,
but you didn't block the other seats, when clearly
- more people fit here, - And there's rope in the trunk,
Worst of all, your wife knows and she's your accomplice,
All these looks and cryptic questions,
Who are you now, mulder and Scully?
Who?
Some people who investigated,,,!
Elisa, sorry, they're driving me nuts, There was a series,,,
We know each other,
Yes, we went out together,
- Oh, you knew? - Yes,
- Everyone's acting on this trip, - Look who's talking!
That's the pot calling the cattle black,
Kettle,
This thing with your wife is pretty heavy, eh?
And you have a son, You're sadists,
Yes, I bet you carry the boy's gun to scare the shit out of us,
- This is crazy! - Very crazy, psychotic,
- Have you finished? - No, rapist!
- Now I have, - Okay, my turn now,
- Now tell the truth! - Please, shut up!
- I've sent my mom the location, - Shut the fuck up!
- It didn't have to be like this, - See? He planned it all,
Please, watch the road!
- It's her! Yap-yap! - Sure, but please watch the road!
- She won't shut up! - Okay, okay,
- Okay, - What a girl!
My name's Antonio Julian, okay? Happy?
Antonio after my grandad, a great guy, but that's another story,
And Julian after my dad, who wasn't so great,
I had a bad relationship with him, almost none at all,
And I work at the civil registry, like I said,
I deal with people every day
who come to change their name, If you know what I mean,
People come and tell me: "Put down this surname,
my mother's first, my grandmother's,,,"
One day, someone wanted to put "Beyoncé", but,,,
Well, that's another story,
One day I was there, relaxed,
and I got the courage to do the papennork to get rid of "Julian",
But it was stupid, because people knew me as Julian
and called me "juli, juli",
When I opened this app,,, What do you want me to say?
- Okay, - I'd made up,,,
With my father
and I put down "julian“, If you know what I mean,
- And the rope? - The rope! The rope!
This guy and the rope! Fuck!
Go on, open it up,
He's a climber,
A prize for "gunslinger"! Look, we're in albacete,
- Actually, I,,, - And the questions?
"How's your mother?", "I want to know you better",,,
And your wife? When your wife called?
- Hands off, - She asked if you'd spoken to her,
That's enough, Look,,,
It didn't have to be like this,
- Look, he's admitting it! - Totally,
No! It's not that!
- Yes, you're saying it didn't work out, - God, it's not what you think,
- Not what we think, he says, - No, it's much simpler!
You had it all planned, rapist!
Will you stop calling me a rapist? If you don't mind,
- That's what you are, - Even if you are a climber,
- those ropes are ropey, - You and the rope!
- You're no climber,
- You don't look like one, - What do climbers look like?
- I don't know, lean, strong, - Be careful,
I'm in great physical shape!
Oh, yeah? Is that threat?
No, but maybe I'll pop you one!
- And your nails are disgusting! - What's wrong with my nails?
- I'm a guitarist! - Watch the road, please!
He's a guitarist, A guitarist-climber, fuck that!
- How can you climb with those nails? - We're going to die!
- No one would believe that, - You're a fucking rapist!
I'm,,, your brother!
Whose brother?
So,,,?
- So,,,? - Look, my father,,,
Had a lover in murcia, okay?
And he got her pregnant,
She didn't know he was married and when,,,
Found out that she wanted to have it, well,,,
He had no choice but to tell them both,
My mother left him and your mother never wanted to see him again,
She decided,,,
To raise the girl,,, alone,
No, I'm fine, Really, I'm fine,
It was when I was a teenager and I had it in for my father,
what can I say? The thing is,,,
A year, a year and a half ago,
he turned up again and,,,
I don't know,,, I was over it
and he was my dad, right?
I picked up the relationship with him, no big deal,
a coffee, a phone call,,,
One day, out of the blue,,,
He tells me,,, I have a sister,
My mother only told me he'd run off with another woman,
He showed me a photo of your mom, very pretty, by the way,
and told me,,,
Her name, your name and your last names,
- How did you find me? - That was no cakewalk!
First Facebook, we're all on it, I found your mother,
Just as well she didn't have a sunset as a profile,
And from there,,, I found you,
By the way, you've really neglected your Facebook,
- With Instagram and all that,,, - No, sure,
I had to open an Instagram account too,
And,,, I found you,
Though you don't know how many Elisa vicentes there are,
especially in Ecuador,
Anyway, the thing is,,,
Contacting you via the app seemed cold to me,
awful, So,,,
I looked into your account and,,,
A photo with a location and,,,
A ♪ "shared trip",
♪ "off to murcia today",
♪ "my mom's omelet",,,
Anyway,,,
I had to open a profile too
on this trip application,
And I kept trying until,,,
We coincided,
And yes, I went that day to the trip
to check that it was you, but I left,
I wanted it to be more,,, private,
to get to know you better,
The thing is,,,
I looked at your routines, your schedules,,,
And,,,
I decided to,,,
Organize this trip,
And it worked out great, eh?
Robert,
- Robert? - Robert,
Roberto,
What about Roberto?
That's who I got involved with,
- What? - In fact, we're still together,
Fuck,
That Robert,
why didn't you tell me?
Because,,, it's not that easy,
But you had time, almost two years,
But we haven't seen each other,
It wasn't good timing to turn up and say: "Hi, how are you?
Look, I'm gay",
Besides, you know my parents,
They're friends of your parents, Small town people,,,
Above everything else, we were friends,
On the other hand, I thought that this trip
would give us time to get to know each other
before dropping this bomb that'd put you on the spot,,,
And dad?
Oh, dad,,,
Why,,,?
Why didn't he ever want to talk to me or,,,
- See me or,,,? - Your mother,,,
Forbade it completely,
And dad,,,
Was never the bravest man in the world,
- Does he know you're doing this? - No,
- Why didn't you tell him? - Let's see,,,
When he reappeared he didn't tell me anything, but,,,
They'd found he had cancer,
The nasty kind,
So I decided to look for you,
-No, no, no,
No, sure,
Well,
I always had that door closed,
My mother told me I wasn't
like the other girls, they had a father,
In the end all that gets inside of you and,,,
You get used to it,
But all this time you've been telling me about this
has given me time to imagine a life with him,
Heavy stuff!
Listen, I'm sorry it came out like this,
No, relax, I thought you were going to dismember me,
- About the review,,, - Yes, me too,
No, it's alright,
One thing I will tell you, eh? Drivers can also put up,,,
Reviews,
- Yes, - Look, he's learned how to say it,
Yes, For you I'll put:
Ana is a witty girl, she likes all kinds of music,
but on the trip she grabbed a toy gun,
aimed it at me and screamed "rapist, rapist!"
And other expletives,
My god! I'm so sorry, really,
- Me too, - And me,
No, really it's fine,
- I completely lost it, - A bit,
- This collective paranoia,,, - It's terrible,
If you know what I mean,
Yes, but, filling in the blanks,,,
Sure, but there's no need to,,,
- What? - Eh?
There's no need to think the worst,
to be suspicious, Appearances are deceptive,
No, totally,
You were,,, sweethearts, eh?
Yes,
- My god,,, - And you're brother and sister,
If you saw this in a movie, you wouldn't believe it,
They say I look like Michael Landon too,
Yes, from "highway to heaven",
I don't know who that is,
Well,,,
It's been cool,
Yes, it's been different, right?
Intense,
Yes, so to speak,
Thanks a lot, and again, I'm sorry,
It's alright, You don't want me to drop you at your house?
No, no, I live nearby and,,,
- This way we don't bug you anymore, - Alright,,,
- Ciao, - Ciao,
Well,,,
- Thanks, - It's alright,
- Was that,,,? - Yes,
- Well,,, - Yeah,
Want to come up for dinner?
No, my mother must still be having kittens,
My parents would love to see you,
If you want, we can get a drink tomorrow or whatever,
- Go on, - Yeah?
Listen, should we tell Elisa?
Let's not start,
Right, I don't know, as a joke,
- Go on, as a joke, - Yeah?
She didn't get it,
There's no double tick,
That's weird, right?
Imagine if,,,?
No, no, it's too fast,
No, no, no,
I think I'll call her,
- Are you sure? - Imagine if all that brother stuff,,,
The phone you have called is switched off
or out of range at this time,
Carpoolers beware of whom you travel with
don't hide away, tell me the truth,
Tell me the company you keep,
and I'll tell you where you'll get to,
But, look out,
prejudices can't be trusted,
I wonder how I'll tell my mother about this,
Things are not,,,
What,,,
You think,
Tell me the company you keep,,,
I really like cds and these radio systems,,,
And the sound of a discman,,,
You're enjoying this,
You look in the rear view mirror,,,
- So you're both from cieza? - Shit,
Even worse,,,
- Have you seen,,,? - Pay up or get out,
This curve is endless, I don't know if you realize, but,,,
I don't much like going with first-timers,
What the fuck do you want? What the fuck do you want?
Pain in the ass! Pain in the ass!
No, sorry, the guy behind, he put his lights on,,,
But, look out,,,
Inimqmmlmmmm
- my lines, you know? - Yeah, we noticed,
5-1-1, take one,
Tell me the company you keep,,,
- What's this? - Los brincos, Michael knight,
- What's this? - Los brincos, you son of a bitch!
It's the fucking brincos, motherfucker!
Prejudices can't be trusted,
But, look out,,,
I'm her brother!
Things are not
what you think,
You were,,, sweethearts? Weren't we siblings?
Again, go on,
I'm putting on a great song for you!
- Alright,,, - Hold on a second,
- No, let me,,, - Yes, I put it on,,,
That you loved me too,
Now it's all gone,