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So, our only out is a political decision
but then, supposing Québec votes out,
Then, let them call out the army
and see what happens,
I had a little run in personally
with Mr, Macdonald I think his name is
the Defence Minister saying that,
there were quite a few separatists
in the Armed Forces,
In fact, the place is loaded with separatists
in all Québec units,
But supposing their vote is a majority vote
and Don Macdonald and any other jerk tells them,
you're gonna come out against your own vote
what do you think you'd do?
Look, if the only identity Canada has
is holding onto Québec,
then it should fall prey to anything,
MAN #1: The country's had several episodes and moments
where there's been regional tensions,
I mean we're one of the most decentralized federations
in the world,
We have a vast territory, 37 million people,
We're a very diverse population,
The level of intensity in regional differences
varies from time to time,
And that's part of life in Canada,
Québec receives about $13 billion a year
in equalization payments,
Almost all of that comes from Alberta,
And we expect provinces that benefit
from our energy wealth
to help us actually develop that wealth,
And in Canada,
the third Québec sovereignty referendum
has yielded a narrow win for the separatists,
This just months after the province
refused to permit a national pipeline
to go through their territory,
The Canadian government has refused
to recognize this result
and two Québec-based battalions have defected,
SUSAN: Oh, you know you can swipe right sometimes,
Oh, she was good,
That one was good,
SUSAN: She had teeth anyway,
Yeah,
Nokum just said,,,
(Stuttering)
She said this is your husband,
SUSAN: Yeah well, you like it,
Nosey,
Just don't be going sending messages to anybody,
(Indiscernible speech)
-What the fuck? -(Sighs)
Well, they're here,
(Deep sigh)
(Taking deep breaths)
Orders, sergeant?
Yes,
(Panting)
Seen, seen,
SINGH: When is our CO gracing us with their presence?
SIMPSON: Yes,
Shit,
(Panting)
Shit,
Ma'am,
Where are the others?
We were supposed to have two companies,
Roger,
Anything new from the Frag O?
Four-one alpha, this is three-two alpha,
SUNRAY, you are broken and unreadable, over,
Ma'am,
Piece of,,,
Anybody got any bars?
One,
Will I get reimbursed for the data?
Nope,
SAUVÉ: We're ordered to set up over there,
SIMPSON: The other side of their checkpoint, ma'am?
-Yup, -Roger, ma'am,
How, ma'am?
We plant a flag,
Do we have a flag?
One, sergeant,
SAUVÉ: Québec's not going to tear our country apart
over a vague question and a 50 plus one vote,
This stops here,
Canadian democracy's under threat from,,,
democracy,
Rules of engagements?
Oh, don't shoot them,
They're still Canadians,
What if they shoot us?
Then, yes,
They're Québeckers,
Move this,
Where?
Anywhere, this isn't war,
(♪♪♪)
HASSAN: Second Lieutenant,
What the fuck did she say?
I think we would be more comfortable
doing this in English,
HASSAN: Well, only Québeckers speak French,
And I think your soldiers can't really quite get
what you're saying,
ANGUS: Don't patronize me,
Corporal Garant,
(♪♪♪)
(Sighs)
It's good for the environment, French,
So this blue line is the border
between the Confederation of Canada
and the future Republic of Québec,
And we are,,,
Well, we will respect the free movements
of civilians and goods,
We will protect our sovereignty,
You got a problem, Frenchie?
Cause you keep eye-fucking me,
With all due respect we held a referendum,
HASSAN: It was clear,
And we won,
It counts,
France and Russia recognize us as sovereign,
Which we never signed,
Fucking Queer-bec,
-HASSAN: Woah, -Woah, woah!
-Hold it! -Cool it!
He just fucking kissed me, shut the fuck up!
SAUVÉ: Hey!
I don't care if he mushroom-stamped you, Angus,
Lower your weapon,
Your gun's not even loaded,
Drop your weapons now!
With all due respect, ma'am, there's an imminent threat,
There's going to be an imminent foot somewhere
if you don't follow my orders,
(Speaks in native language)
Oui!
I'll fucking beat you with this,
You'll be sucking my dick, it'll feel good,
Okay,
The citizens of Québec have voted on their future,
We're here to safeguard their democratic right
to that future,
I suggest you respect that and recognize us,
Which would make me the senior officer at this border,
(Takes a deep breath)
And I'm ordering you all,,,
to fuck off,
Fucking off,
Bitch,
Call me,
On the bus, off the bus,
Come back later,
SIMPSON: Are we at war yet, ma'am?
We have to live with these people,
Edmundston is nice,
We could--
(Indistinct)
(Stuttering)
SUSAN: Ahh, fuck it!
We could move there,
Christ,
(Chuckles)
Hello, bonjour,
We're just heading home, is there a problem, officer?
Absolutely not,
Everything's just fine,
Canada's still very much united,
(Chuckling)
They're not going to arrest us,
SUSAN: Just-- let me handle this,
Uh, is this a border crossing?
(Laughing)
(Laughter)
MEETOS: Run, forest,
(Panting)
This is the sovereign territory of Québec,
We held a referendum,
We'll take your checkpoint by force,
I can see the headlines now,
Québec wages war on Canada,
SIMPSON: The UN condemns violent secession,
Hmm,
Hello,
Bonjour,
Hi,
Would just like to welcome you,
Yes, officers,
Canada is still united,
HASSAN: Have a good day,
(Coughs)
All vehicles entering the Republic of Québec
will be screened,
No one enters without a Québec ID,
And don't ever call us Canadians again,
Like my McGill student card?
(Car whirring)
(Sighs)
(Exhales)
(Sighs)
They don't let me go, I'm from Montréal,
I just want to go home,
SINGH: If you're from Montréal,
why you trying to get back into New Brunswick?
MALE DRIVER #1: Fuck, New Brunswick,
(Chuckles)
No, they cannot reject people
from crossing into their province,
Send them back, Over,
Rog,
Alright, turn around,
Where? Why?
Woah, woah,,, what,
What!
Forgot what?
No, you can't do this,
Sis, no!
No! No! Stop!
No, you're not doing this,
You're not doing this,
Turn around, stop,
Turn around, no!
No!
I've got,,,
Fuck it, I'm getting out,
-I'm getting out, -Wooh, wooh!
Stop the truck!
Oh for fu--
SUSAN: Let's just go get ourselves in jail,
This is like sick, eh?
Fucking backed up,
We're like top dog here,
I got bullied in high school,
So,,,
(Chuckles)
(Clears throat)
Can we get through?
What is this by the way?
What is that?
I don't have one of those,
Is that like a corporal thing?
You talk too much, Private,
HASSAN: Hey!
French lives matters!
What are you doing?
(Horns honking)
-Hey! -Huh?
Why are you loading your gun?
In case someone tries some shit, man,
-(Grunts) -Get on the ground!
What's going on? You okay?
If this is Canada, I'm your superior okay,
Fuck off!
This isn't a game, man,
I know it's not a game, look I'm on safety,
Oh fuck, I'm on full auto,
Now I'm on safe,
HASSAN: Hey hey, I said fuck off,
if this is Canada I'm your superior,
HASSAN: I'm telling you to fuck off,
(Indistinct shouting)
Holy shit!
You shoot him, I shoot you,
SIMPSON: And I'll blow your dick off,
Fuck yeah, this shit is on baby,
(Gunfire)
ANGUS: Aw, shit,
HASSAN: Don't shoot,
SAUVÉ: Ceasefire, ceasefire!
What is your problem, Private?
I'm sorry!
Aw, Jesus,
Ceasefire, ceasefire!
Ceasefire,
HASSAN: Hey, you let him go,
(Indistinct shouting)
-Give me your rifle, -What?
Give me your rifle!
We're at fucking war now!
In short, COVID-19 is back,
And speaking of viruses,
A viral video of gunfire has the Canadian federal government
scrambling to put on a brave face in the light
of its increasingly strenuous relationship
with Québec,
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau faced questions
from reporters earlier today,
Are you at all worried about the UN becoming involved?
The fact is, we work a,,,
The--
Sorry, just let me try to, reorder--
reorder the thoughts,,,
Québec sources deny further reports
of one of their soldiers taken captive
allegedly at this small checkpoint by New Brunswick,,,
Which,,,
Oh pardon me, we're having trouble finding it
on the map,
NEWSCASTER #1: The other border checkpoints
between the Canadian and Québec military
are on high alert,
(Chuckles)
She stole my footage,
She has thousands of views,
I have 57,
-57, -Yum,
Yum,
(Takes a deep breath)
And I almost got shot!
Slower, slower, slower,
I don't have anyone to talk to in it,
Besides, you speak English,
Sorry,
Not get shot!
Takes time for things to change,
57,
It's fucking hot, man,
And this sucks balls,
(Grunting)
Fuck!
ANGUS: You play any instruments? I slap the bass sometimes,
Eh!
♪ It's really so hot, yeah, I wanna leave early ♪
♪ They handed me a stick cause I shot prematurely ♪
Right, cause yeah,,,
Implicit in this tasking,
is that you do not create a goddamn international incident
on some shit road in the middle
of qu'est-ce que le fuck nowhere,
Do you want the UN here?
Do you want to go cruise riding with some blue helmet?
In No Funs-wick?
The whole time the press is out here
with their little, tiny effeminate click-baity fingers
trying to find any possible orifice
to rip wide open and ruin my goddamn life,
-Tracking, sir,,, -(Call hangs up)
Sir?
Anyone got a charger?
No, ma'am,
Taber-fucking-nac!
(Exhales)
That's my phone, ma'am,
Orders, ma'am?
Situation Dictate, Let's get our flag back,
I shot them,
They went down,,,
I shot them and they went down,,,
You did what you had to do,
Do you think it was serious?
Well, you,,, shot at them,
You think you'd feel more,
Who did I shoot?
It wasn't the other women, was it?
One-two alpha, this is three-two Charlie,
say again, over,
(Chuckles)
Um,,,
Three-two Charlie, this is one-two alpha,
Mission abort,
You guys did amazing, you can go home now,
Really, it's--it's not you,
It's not you, it's me,
I'll always love you,
Fucking Pepsi, man, I swear to God,
You know what? Give me this shit,
ANGUS: (On radio)Hello?
Hi,
(Grunting and moaning)
Fredrico, it's so big,
Eat out that butthole,
(Spits)
Fuck!
SINGH:Badtameez! Give me that,
I'm just having fun, It actually hurt,
Our comms are hacked? -No, ma'am,
They've crypto-d all the same frequencies,
The Canadian Military isn't equipped
to fight against itself,
Don't do it ma'am, it's not worth it,
SAUVÉ:Hassan?
She's dead,
-(Coughing) -Ma'am,
What's wrong?
(Coughing)
You did what you had to do,
GARANT: She didn't deserve this,
She's a fucking federalist for crying out loud,
It'll be okay,
-(Grunts) -Fuck,
(Panting)
HASSAN: (On radio)What language is that?
HASSAN: (On radio)Well,,,
We have dragons,
What is that, what is that?
What is that? That's a dope weapon, eh?
That's gone, we're fucked?
Corporal, please tell the Private to shut up,
Will you shut the fuck up, Private?
HASSAN: (On radio)You want your flag?
Yeah, you can get your flag,
Under one condition,
Ma'am don't,
HASSAN: (On radio)Repeat after me,
There were nights when the wind was so cold,
There were nights when the wind was so cold?
HASSAN: (On radio)But when you touch me like this,
Hassan,
HASSAN: (On radio)And when you hold me like that,
Dude,
HASSAN: (On radio)I just have to admit that it's all coming back to me,
Hassan!
-Ma'am! -Ma'am!
Target in sight, I'll take the shot,
Don't shoot!
I'm--I'm a journalist,
I'm here to see the prisoner,
Hide the fucking prisoner,
ANGUS: You get in there,
-Get in, -GARANT: No!
ANGUS: Get in!
Let me put this down first,
Oh god,
Yeah, I'm close, I'm close!
Angus, stop fucking around,
Okay, okay, okay, okay,
ANGUS: Keep your foot there,
SIMPSON: Keep an eye out,
Alright, alright, alright,
Hey, I can keep an eye out too, Sarge,
No, I need you to count to 10,
Where's your rifle, Private?
I put it on the side cause I thought
it looked unprofessional,
And where should that be?
On me at all times, sir,
(Vehicle revving)
Hey! Hey!
(Chuckling)
(Panting)
Where's your rifle, Private?
Here, Sergeant,
Do you feel that?
It's like a a father-son dynamic, eh?
I never knew my Dad,
He left,
Said he was going for smokes,
-Private, -Mhmmm,
Get rid of the stick,
I know, I see,
-Leave it! -Okay,,,
SINGH: Yo!
Chop, chop!
ANGUS: That's a tight squeeze,
Oh, Jesus!
Can you--can you move over, can you move over please?
(Clears throat)
Guys?
Alright, we're good,
-(Engine starts) -(Music playing)
SUSAN: Maybe they actually killed each other,
What?
Don't, no, come on, not now!
Oh God!
Why must you?
When are you going to get your own phone?
(Exhales)
What?
Are--are they coming here?
Oh my God,
We have to fight,
You are officially crazy,
Only you would think of this,
(Deep sigh)
Hey guys,,,
Listen to this,
(Farts)
-Did you just shit yourself? -No,
You do realize we're in the field
for a lot longer, Private,
Okay, cool,
I didn't shit myself so,
Eyes forward please,
Shitpants,
Let's go,
(Laughing)
Thanks for the heads up,
(Taking deep breaths)
Come on man, take it off,
I just bought this,
Take it off,
What if the soldiers come back?
So, you're going to be telling our truth?
Fuck knows, the colonizer's news is all fairy tales,
I'm going to report the news,,,
,,,unbiased,
That's what I thought,
SUSAN: I didn't know you brought the gun,
Alright, well,
Thank you for coming out and your support,
Anything else?
Fuck pipelines?
As this is the proposed route of the said pipeline,
This is where the activists will make their stand,
On unceded Mi'kmaq territory,
Calling on the United Nations, to get involved
while holding Canada, as well as Québec accountable
to the United Nations Declaration
on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples,
I'm Susan Pelletier,
Will this work?
And if not?
Yeah,
Okay,
BRASSARD: Fuck off,
(Taking deep breaths)
Hey,
-(Gunfires) -(Grunting)
Go! Go, go, go!
Garant!
-Garant! -What the hell?
No, Shitpants!
Don't come back!
Keep going, you fucking fuck!
Oh, fuck!
Shitpants!
Get up!
(Grunting)
Oh God,
(Grunting)
(Panting)
Help!
Garant,
BRASSARD: We're on strike,
SINGH: The fuck?
Help!
SAUVÉ: Corporal Singh,
Private Angus needs your help,
SINGH: Copy that!
(Grunting)
ANGUS: I can't breathe,
-Angus, -Oh no,
-Angus, -Oh no!
SINGH: Angus,
I'm here! I'm here!
Don't move,
-Angus, don't move, -Look, I'm bleeding!
-You're going to be okay, -Please don't let me die,
I won't let you die,
You'll tell my mom though? You'll tell my mom,
Don't talk like that,
What are you doing?
Any trouble with your breathing?
Ahhh, fuck!
(Panting)
How bad is it? Is it bad?
-It just grazed you, -No, it's bad,
Angus, it just grazed you,
ANGUS: No, you're lying, You fucking liar,
(Panting)
You did shit yourself,
-Angus, -What?
You're going to be fine, I gotta go Angus,
No, no no!
-Please, please, please, -Don't move!
Angus, stay down!
(Indistinct)
Please, Singh!
Please!
You left me, you dick!
SINGH: You're not gonna die, Angus,
Oh my god, every time I touch it,
Every time I touch it, it's more fucking blood,
Hassan!
Please,
(Sobbing)
SIMPSON: Ma'am, he's unarmed,
(Grunting)
Canada is a peaceful fucking country,
HASSAN: There you go, that's the real you,
(Grunting)
(Speaking in Hindi)
(Grunting)
HASSAN: Ah, that hurts,
Oh, man,
SIMPSON: Ma'am!
Anybody got their boy scout badge in sewing?
There's some French for you,
SIMPSON: Ma'am,
(Laughing)
We can be friends here, no?
Huh?
He's my bro,
I see the light,
I actually see the light,
No, that's the sun,
It's just the sun,
When governments ignore First Nations rights,
title, jurisdiction,,,
,,,it creates conflict, and court cases,
What does it say about Canada now
that instead of sending peacekeepers
it's receiving them?
Well, it's good to be well-balanced,
She stole it again!
I'm gonna fucking kick her ass,
What a bitch,
HASSAN: All this, for a fucking pipeline,
HASSAN: Québec would never allow a pipeline,
We're everything Canada's tried to be but couldn't,
Secular,
Progressive,
Tolerant,
Oh yeah, super fucking tolerant,
Secular, tolerant,
Yeah, in that kind of wish people would disappear
sort of way,
Well, we have daycare,
Paid for by Albertans,
And their dirty fucking oil,
It was good enough for you when it was paying
for your goddamn daycare,
Well, we're a country now,
We'll pay for our own goddamn daycare,
SIMPSON: As a Newfoundlander,
I invite you both to go fuck yourselves,
HASSAN: Newfie!
(Laughing and panting)
Come on, guys,
GARANT: Did anyone else still not get paid?
Hey!
Did anyone else still not get paid?
(Taking deep breaths)
SAUVÉ: Stand guard here okay?
Ma'am,
We're on strike,
(Laughing)
My Cree is a little rusty,
She's short, eh?
ANGUS: We're on strike but don't you fret,
All the helmets are 'dans le tête'
Do you ever stop talking, man?
This,,,
Don't touch that, don't touch that,
You're separating,
Was the question clear?
While we recognize these,,,
,,,are your traditional lands,,,
The fact is this blockade is illegal
and has to be removed,
Although we are all Canadians,
Diverse faces of Canada,
That freedom,
SUSAN: We need more in common than Céline Dion,
I mean diversity,
(Laughter)
At least we treated you better than the English, right?
I guess there's value in being the nicest Nazi,
We're trying to stop that fucking pipeline, okay!
Fuck pipelines, fuck pipelines!
You want our sign too?
Keep it moving, Frog,
HASSAN: How are you going to play this?
-Whatever, -It's mine, motherfucker,
I feel like you cheated already,
SINGH: Look, look, my hand,
-It's a game of chance, -SINGH: My hand,
-Relax! -My hand,
No, it's a skill my friend,
ANGUS: A game of chance, a higher card,
It's fifty-fifty dumbass, flip the card,
Oh look, I get that one too,
No, that was a six and a three, that was a six and a three,
-I pulled a six, -I'm a corporal though,
ANGUS: We can't call rank on a fucking strike dude,
BRASSARD: You pulled a three,
No man, that's a two,
That's like dick bottom, man, that's like last shit,
You're taking this game very seriously,
ANGUS: I'm very competitive yes, thank you,
That's mine, that's mine, man!
What the fuck? That was a king on a five!
Almost there, I can taste that liquor now,
(Laughs)
-What the fuck? -You brought her--
I know you can see this,
I know you--
This is bullshit,
No this is just a team up now,
I'm getting gang-banged,
(Laughter)
You'd like that,
Second Lieutenant?
You?
Yes,
You abandoned your post,
We had to retrieve this,,,
You had to retrieve the flag,
It's ripped!
I'm aware
And,,,
What's up with them?
SAUVÉ: Uh, they're on strike,
Why?
They have not been paid,
Traitors,
Are you getting paid, sir?
We have a press conference tomorrow, okay?
It should make all of this go away,
So,,,
You,,,
all should follow along and do exactly what we tell you,
Until then,,,
,,,look like you know what you're doing,
-Absolutely, -Wipe your face!
Okay,
Yes, and get those other soldiers in line,
Yes, sir,
Bonjour,
Hi, guys!
Representing the federal government!
You know for a little fuck-weasel from Listowel,
You sure do suck at this game,
Fuck you, man,
Like, fuck you,
You do sense that, right?
Singh, keep talking, buddy,
No but you do sense that, right?
The end,
That sound you hear,,,
,,,is your asshole tightening,,,
,,,sucking up the seat cushion,
Singh keep talking and I'll fucking stab you,
I'll wipe that shit-eating grin off your face,
Oh, what does our friend the FLQ think?
Nah, doesn't have it,
No!
How about this?
Huh, huh?
You don't have the fucking balls,
Do it!
Where are you going to stab me?
Where do you want me to stab you?
I'll stab you wherever you want,
Stab my leg, you little bitch,
I'll do it,
-You little bitch, -You don't have the balls,
Right now!
-I'm gonna fucking do it, -Stab my fucking leg,
I'll fucking stab your leg,
-I'll do it, -Stab my fucking leg,
BRASSARD: Fucking stab his leg,
I'll fucking do it, You act like I don't want to,,,
SINGH: What are you afraid of man? What are you afraid of?
I'll do it,
Nothing, I'm not afraid of you,
SINGH: That's an order, Private!
Move, I'll stab you, I'll fucking stab you!
That's an order, you motherfucker!
I'll do it!
You don't have the fucking balls!
-I'll do it! I'll do it! -Do it, do it, do it Angus!
Do it Angus! Do it Angus!
Just the tip, Angus,
(Indistinct argument)
-I'll fucking do it, -Do it!
Oh my God, I fucking did it!
Oh my God, I did it
(Grunting)
You fucking idiot, we got to report this,
He told me to, you heard it! You heard it!
SINGH: What the fuck is your problem, Angus?!
You told me to do it!
Private, you stabbed me in the leg!
You told me to do it!
I don't know what you want me to say!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I'm sorry!
You told me to do it!
You told me to do it! You too!
You don't even know what the fuck's going on,
but you told me to do it,
You fucking idiot! You fucking idiot!
We all did it! We all killed Caesar!
James Brodie, I'm with the federal government,
James Brodie,
(Scoffs)
James Brodie,
I just want to offer that we are inviting all journalists
to a very important press conference tomorrow,
Exclusive access,
We would love for you to join us,
Yes?
I'll be there,
Perfect,
Lovely gun,
It's just a work opportunity,
Not now, I have to focus,
SUSAN: I have to be objective,
Mr, Brodie! What time is the event?
BRASSARD: Do you have a two?
Oh, fuck,
No,
-Corporal? -Yes, ma'am,
There's a knife in your leg,
Yes, ma'am,
SAUVÉ: Why?
(Sighs)
Private Anus put it there,
Why?
They were playing cards,
-SAUVÉ: Cards? -BRASSARD: Hmm
Yes, ma'am,
What game?
War,
(Sighs)
SAUVÉ: What the fuck?!
Is this how Canada falls apart?
Over a fucking card game,
I'm going to have to report this,
I'm going to get paper-fucked,
For you assholes,
-do you understand? -Yes, ma'am,
Your military career is over!
Fuck!
I'm sorry,
-Wipe up your face, -Yes, ma'am,
And clean up this mess,
I don't want to hear another word from you all day,
Yes, ma'am,
(Laughs)
(Laughing)
NEWSCASTER #1: Protests for and against the pipeline erupt
across Canada and Québec
while Prime Minister Trudeau
and President/Prime Minister Legault
hold one of many press conferences
at the Ontario-Québec border,
(Scoffs)
This is going to be some bullshit,
Mm-hmm,
Salam!
I just want to say,,,
I love your work,
What you did, the last days,,,
I think,,,
you have a lot of potential,
Thanks,
(Clears throat)
Nice of you to join us,
JAMES: Bonjour, Hi,
Uh, I have a short statement from the Canadian Ministry
of Foreign Affairs,
-Yes, -KATRINE: Mm-hmm,
Also, we would like to acknowledge
that we are in the traditional land of the a,,,
Mi,,, Mic,,, Mic, Micmac,
It's Mi'kmaq,
Wow, wasn't that nice of them?
Let me handle the French,
Could you say that in Mi'kmaq, please?
We are on Mi'kmaq traditional lands,
as you said yourself,
JAMES: Excuse me,
This is going to get disruptive,
So, we, you know, we hear you, we respect you,
but dialogue and reconciliation is a two-way street,
Which is why the Canadian government
has reached out to the Québec government,
To open up potential bilateral constitutional negotiations
that could renew, and refresh our federalist framework,
You are both,,,
Though the federal government is committed
to potentially accepting the possibility
of Québec sovereignty,
JAMES: And in exchange for their acceptance
of a transnational pipeline,
Yeah-- that's it, okay,
Therefore, all military will stand down,
And with luck, the war is over,
Thank you,
We would also like to invite Lieutenant Xavier Hassan,
and Lieutenant Marie-Claire Sauvé,,,
,,,to shake hands, to symbolize this historic truce,
Shake hands, guys,
(Exhales)
(Clears throat)
No!
No, no,
This could be constitutional change,
Well, maybe you could find a new lake,
Lake Winnipeg?
No, just do ah, Old Wives Lake,
Great Slave Lake,
JONATHAN: Yeah, Great Slave Lake!
-Great Slave Lake! -No!
JONATHAN: Great Slave Lake!
What about the pipeline?
JAMES: Ma'am, I'm sorry--
(Airhorn blows)
Ma'am, I'm sorry,
I don't understand you,
Are you able to speak English?
Ma'am, ma'am!
What about the pipeline?
Any comment on the blockade?
That's pretty helpful
She's asking if they'll be any indigenous representation
constitutional,,,
,,,conference!
Is there no other provinces represented
at this fucking thing?
Alright, can everybody just fucking speak English?
A lot of can speak French, I can't speak French,
Fucking speak Chinese for all I give a fuck,
No, but that's the thing is everyone can speak it,
I mean that's the common tongue,
This is Québec so we will speak French,
I don't give a fuck if it's Québec,
ANGUS: I don't understand!
ANGUS: It's hot as shit out, I'm miserable,
I got a cotton fucking t-shirt on,
There's sweat dripping down my asscrack,
How 'bout you? Nice suit, buddy,
Shut the fuck up, Anus,
Push me again and I will fucking rock you,
I don't understand that's the whole issue!
Shut the fuck up!
You're on TV, man,
Good shit, Like I'm gonna fucking watch this,
JAMES: Get a hold of this,
Me get a hold of this?
Yes,
Why, what would be the point of that, hmm?
We all hate each other,
Intolerant motherfuckers,
-We all love each other, yes? -No! We don't!
Je parle what I fucking want,
Let's separate together,
Québexit,
Albexit,
You Eastern bastards can freeze in the dark,
Montrexit,
Plateauxit,
Newfoundland and Labradexit,
What is going on?
You hardly speak up,,,
,,,and when you do, it sounds stupid
Doesn't have the same ring,
(Airhorn blows)
Ma'am! Godammit! Calm down!
JAMES: Stop it!
English?
(Airhorn blows)
MAN: No other provinces?
So the Churchill Falls agreement?
SUSAN: Meetos! No more air horn!
ANGUS: Intolerant motherfuckers, intolerant motherfuckers!
What's happening?
Meetos, stop with the airhorn,
Countries!
And I don't think your Great Slave Lake Accord's
going to fix it,
Stop fucking calling it that!
Thank you,
(Cheering)
SUSAN: Shut the fuck up!
Take your Armani suit and fuck yourself!
Fuck this shit!
This is the result of the snowflake culture,
Everyone wants to be independent,
that's fucking bullshit if you ask me,
Ask me!
(Engine starts)
(Whirring)
(Indistinct chattering)
The real question is after this new deal,
Is all of this finally over?
Are you fucks still on strike?
Yes, sir,
Not anymore, get ready,
We're going to take the blockade,
We can get you and your men a ride
to join the Québec offensive,
Saddle up!
Sir?
Yes,
Do you want us to,,, take them by force?
If need be,
Do you have a problem with that, Second Lieutenant?
Good, I didn't think so,
Do up your helmet, soldier!
There's another problem,
Yup,,,
,,,you're touching me,
The journalists,,,
You want us to shoot them?
JAMES: No,
People could see,
We, uh, need them,,,
Not here,
Where do you want us to put them?
JAMES: Anywhere!
As long as they're not live streaming,
We're also getting the UN guys to leave,
Whatever,
(Sighs)
Your fucking helmet!
Where's your helmet buddy?
FURLONG: Up your mother's ass!
(Takes a deep breath)
(Indistinct chattering in distance)
(Coughing)
You make friends, that's how I got embedded
with on of the LAVs,
It's going to be an amazing shot
when they crash through!
Crash through?
They're going to take the blockade,
There are people there,
AMANDA: Yes, I know,
War is bad, but what we're doing here,
It's forever!
(Groans)
(Chuckles)
Man, fuck Canada,
And fuck Québec,
(Exhales)
HASSAN: Sorry ma'am, we can't let you through,
SAUVÉ: We're under strict orders,
I know they're taking the blockade
and I need to get back there,
-Now, -It's protocol at this point,
It's for your safety,
My safety?
You don't want to be here when this goes down,
(Sighs)
HASSAN: Miss,,,
Turn around, and go home!
My sister is my home,
(Clears throat)
Bonjour,
Hi,
We would be honoured if um,,,
If you let us join you,
Canadian Armed Forces and force armées québécoises
and yeah, we would love to stand with you,
Altogether,
Is it okay? Is that done?
(Laughs)
Look, you have an army marching on you,
You don't have near enough the men to hold this blockade,
You know, woman to woman,
I just wanted to come here to appeal,,,
We don't need your fucking help,
This is our fucking blockade,
Soldiers have been fucking us around
for hundred of years,
We've been here forever,
We will stand forever,
Without you, now get the fuck away from my blockade,
HASSAN: Look, I made my decision,
I'm going to stand between you and those guys okay?
You can fucking stand anywhere you want,
but not in my fucking blockade,
Now move!
Just fuck off,
Go on,
Yeah, No,
HASSAN: We'll stand over here then,
MEETOS: Fuck off!
What the fuck did you just say?
Well, why don't they fucking try living with us first?
I think she's cute,
How's my Cree?
(Meetos laughs)
(Laughing)
The little one up there she's hunting beaver,
(Laughing)
Come on,
Oh, come on,
Dude, what about Alberta?
SINGH: We'll leave and join the States,
(Vehicles revving in distance)
-HASSAN: Get ready! -(Sighs)
(♪♪♪)
To all those watching,
the Québec and Canadian forces approach the blockade,
I got it, I'm fine, thank you,
♪ There were nights when the wind was so cold ♪
♪ That my body froze in bed if I just listened to it ♪
♪ Right outside the window ♪
♪ There were days when the sun was so cruel ♪
♪ That all the tears turned to dust ♪
♪ And I just knew my eyes were drying up forever ♪
♪ Forever ♪
♪ I finished crying in the instant that you left ♪
♪ And I can't remember where or when or how ♪
♪ And I banished every memory you and I had ever made ♪
♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪
♪ If I kiss you like this ♪
♪ And if you whisper like that ♪
♪ It was lost long ago ♪
♪ But it's all coming back to me ♪
♪ When you see me like this ♪
♪ And when I see you like that ♪
♪ Then we see what we want to see ♪
♪ All coming back to me ♪
♪ The flesh and the fantasies ♪
♪ All coming back to me ♪
♪ I can barely recall ♪
♪ But it's all coming back to me now! ♪
♪ It's all coming back to me now ♪
(Whirring)
Ho-ho!
(Airhorn blows)
(♪♪♪)