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(voicemail) Bruno, I'm your father-in-law, Now do you understand
why we only give you a stupid letter opener for Christmas?
(Chiara) It's a study holiday, not a study holiday!
' (Bruno) No! It's an intensive stay, eh! Clear!
Look, in China it's already been a year since they started going to school again,
It was better if they rested, then, given the mess they made, right?
I don't want to go mom, They are not my friends,
No, you go there! And then you make friends again, come on! Heh!
It's been more than a year since we changed cities!
Besides, Eduardo is your friend, and you know Ada,
- Ada takes it easy, - Effectively,,,
Bruno, come on! Don't overdo it After all, she's not entirely wrong,
Did you read the program too? They just make him study!
No! Don't study: recover, Heh! They wasted a lot of time with the DAD,
And Juri no longer did: piano, basketball, drawing,
And thank goodness! You have Ferragni's diary!
- So you scare him, - Ah, I scare him?
Vocabulary, even? I didn't even know they made them anymore,
(Juri) Bug
- Oh my love! - Come on Juri, please! On!
But look how you combined? This is not the time to play,
It's never the time, ugh,,, (PUFF)
Ninth! You love them not!
Why not? You love them yes, instead,
No, you don't love them!
I tell you that you love them yes,
Six pairs of shoes and twelve overalls,
Come on Sandro, Ada is a girl, eh!
She's not a girl, she's a bunch, Hold,
- Mom? - Huh?
- Mom? - What? No, no, no!
When you pack your suitcase you have to get rid of
all unnecessary items, like sandwiches that get dirty,
- But they are not useless, - Sandwiches are useless ,,
Because your cousins ​​will prepare them for you,
(Anna) Here's another useless thing!
(Donato) That you can't eliminate!
(Oscar) Honey, what's up? - Meatballs!
Children! Share everything with your cousin, please,
- But he has his things, - (Carla) I know my sister!
And what balls! We are hungry,
I want to go with Juri on the bunk,
You'll be better off in the "vagon |it", There are viruses in the bunk,
Well! I want to take them,
All right! Did you say the psychologist?
SONG "BORN TO BE WILD"
(singing) Born to be wild!
No, I can't, I can't, No, and don't make me feel bad about it,
You can find someone who comes with Bruno anyway,
Rather, instead if you asked me how am I today? Very bad, thank you,
Ninth! But I mean, it would be nice, if only if you asked me,
CALL SIGNAL INTERRUPTED Hello?
Astrid can no longer accompany you, because last night she had an abscess in her tooth,
I have a very important meeting, How do we do it? I don't understand how we do it,
What do I know? Let's call someone else!
But someone else who, Bruno? We knew it, either Astrid or nothing,
Anyway, one has to do one thing, one has to do another! None are available,
However these are really awful! I booked the trip, I
made the tickets,,, and at least they did something!
We postpone the journey,
(Juri) Shall we all go to the beach together? I want to go fishing,
- Good idea, love, - It's impossible, I've already paid,
- Alright! They will refund us, - No, Clare! I go there alone!
- Are you crazy? - But why? Don't you trust?
But what does it have to do with it! Yes! And by the way yes! I don't trust you, Bruno, you
can't do it with eight children who have been locked up in the house for a year, It's impossible,
And yet we do it!
- Right, champ? - Don't call me champion,
- Here, exactly, - HI,
Bruno look, really! I warn you, huh! If something goes wrong, why will
it go wrong, and how if it goes wrong, I swear I'll change the lock,
And remember the dead weight!
DOOR CLOSES
What is this face, come on! Look, you must be happy, eh!
It's a beautiful place for children, My father took me there as a child,
Pa, you're a taker,
take on! What does "accept" mean? Let's express ourselves in Italian please,
I'm definitely late, The appointment was here,
I was very clear,,, and I'm late!
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Look, huh! These are them, look,
Yes I am, No! We are here, you are not here!
Which bar?
No, I don't see you at the bar,,,
At the station, where do you want it to be?
Which station,,, At the Turin Porta Nuova station!
(Bruno) What was Porta Susa?
Run Run!
Wrong station,
(parents) No;
This will never reach us in Sicily,
Ninth! We're not joking, I'm on my two weeks vacation,
Astrid got us in trouble, Maybe he doesn't even have an abscess,,,
Please gentlemen, hurry up! Get in the carriage so as not to miss the train, Please!
- No! We are waiting for a friend, - He has the tickets,
You always complain about delayed trains without understanding,
and now that a passenger is late, you not only don't complain,
but you are also understanding, How many children, mamma mia! But how come?
- Heh! All ours, - Way too many, they pop up like mushrooms,
Stay away from me, Quiet and silent,
The train is leaving, watch the clocks! Gentlemen in the carriage!
Don't complain, In the carriage!
Excuse me, do you know if you enter from here?
Nevermind, thanks!
However it should stay on track, What is it doing standing here?
I didn't expect her to come,,,
Maybe she doesn't like my presence?
— Yes, — How yes?
No! I mean, no, Eh, I thought it was suspended,,,
My suspension has been lifted, inquire, Miss Marra,
- Want to check for yourself? -No, no, we would miss you,
Excuse me! Hello children! Here we go, huh! Here we are! Excuse me,
I'm used to the other station but everything is fine, I'm here, here we are,
Ada, do you remember Juri?
- No, - Neither do I about her,
Hey, wow, do you know her?
- Don't look at it, do you think I have hope? - In my opinion, no,
Thank you,
- Maybe without braces, yes, - And fixed,
- My phone! (Donato) Calm down!
VOICE INDISTINCT
Then, then! Please, if we start like this, let's stay here in Turin, eh!
Please, Give me the phones, Force!
But we don't give mobile phones to anyone,
Oh no? But now, you put all the phones in here,
Come on Dad, don't overdo it,,,
Indeed, you lead by example, You start, come on! And then the sandwiches too!
We eat together afterwards, Force! Mobile phones here, Here,
Come on,
It takes pulse, Come on, come on!
- But are we calm? - Uh,,,
(all) Bye, bye! Enjoy yourselves!
Don't worry! Don't worry!
I recover them!
Everything OK, Heh! They didn't do anything,
- But we are not quiet at all, - Well no,,,
(speaker) The Intercity for Palermo will leave from the underground tunnel,
(Mario) So children, my name is Mario and I would like to explain some easy rules to you,
The children on my train can't speak in a squeaky voice,
Can't touch armchairs with sticky hands,
Running and sweating for no reason,
Sing silly ditties on repeat,
They can't use crayons, draw, get dirty, beat each other with their bare hands,,,
they can't annoy passengers to find out where they
are, how long until they arrive,,, and if they can pee,
In that case, either you just do it, or you hold it without a word,
I would have finished, are there any questions?
Excuse me, but then children are not welcome on this train,,,
Children are the joy of life,,, but not on my train,
Children? So,,, everyone take their luggage and let's get on the train,
But why didn't we go by plane?
No! Only by train can you experience it,
Always remember this: "On a journey, the best thing is to get lost", Maupassant,
I get it, it's cheaper,
WHISTLE
INDISTINCT CHILDREN'S VOICES
Here she is!
VOICE CHILDREN
Wow! Pretty!
My room,,, beautiful!
Slow down, don't screw up, please,
Calm down, huh! Very quietly!
Everyone on his bed, arrange your things
- I don't sleep on it, Up there, (Edu) Tonight I sleep on the top floor,
SHOTS AT THE WINDOW
VOICE CHILDREN
- What happens? - Listen, it's not lack of confidence, eh!
(all) No, no,
- But you can't do it alone! - But how not?
But yes, Bruno, We decided, Go, you say it!
We withdraw the children from the program,
- Grampa! - Hey, you little pest,,,
- I have a thought for you, - What?
Because the first trip is not forgotten,
- Here you are, - Thanks grandpa, but I don't smoke,
- Ah, you don't smoke? - Already,
- Then I'll keep them, come on! - All right,
- We will see each other later, Huh? - Hello grandfather, - Hello, Yuri,
(in French) Good morning everyone,
- I'm Bruno's dad, Claudius, - What are you doing here?
My nephew told me that there is one more ticket and one less companion,
If you don't mind him, I could go,
Ninth! Absolutely not! Not quite the case,
I am a doctor"
BUZZ OF APPROVAL
- Do, do, - What are you doing? - A doctor, an angel,,,
(Bruno) It's not a good idea,,, believe me!
- Very kind, - Please do not,,,
PARENTS SAY GREETINGS
- HI, - HI,
- You can not come! - Why?
Ah! You ask me why?
But do you remember when you dropped Juri from the changing table?
Cuckoo!
I saved him from a multiple occipital fracture,
Yeah, but no one dribbles with a newborn,
ROCK MUSIC
But you don't remember when I took him to the Opera, huh?
(Juri screaming): Grandpa, help!
— Culture is important, — Yes, of course! Culture is important,
And when did I take him to the zoo?
— Yes, did you have fun? - Yes!
Too bad he came back with a dislocated shoulder,
Well! Be thankful she wasn't bitten by a cougar!
She smelled of gunpowder,
WHISTLE
- This is strange, - You're strange! You're strange!
— Me? — Yes! Clare you are right,
You are selfish, you are! You are crazy,,,
— And did Chiaretta say this? — Yes! Chiaratta said this,
Oh! The train! Stop! Stop him!
- Stop the train! - There is my son!
- Stop the boys! Stop! - Stop!
Stop! Stop the train! Stop! Stop,,,
- I'm older, I have to sleep I,,, - I don't give a damn, I sleep in it!
Boys!
I have good and bad news
The bad news is that Bruno and Claudio have missed the train,,,
How did they miss the train? And,,, the good one?
The good news is that Bruno and Claudio have
missed the train and we can do whatever we want!
(all) Casino!
VOICE CHILDREN
I hid it,
VOICE CHILDREN
I'm sorry about your father, a,,, will be fine,
No, He won't get away with it, But he doesn't give a damn,
And now how do we do? Huh? Can you explain it to me how do we do it now?
- How do we do it,,, there's always a solution! - But what solution,,,
After all, I'm on the train, Not below,
Yes! Let's keep calm!
- Take it easy! - Let's be calm,,, let's be calm!
Let's stay calm, Calm down!
- Let's be calm, - Calm down, I'm on the train, right?
- I'm up! Not below! - Above the train,,, I'm not below,,,
- I'm calling Juri! - Good boy,
- This is a great idea, - No! No! No!
What's up?
I confiscated the phones, I,,,
MOBILE PHONE RINGS - It's clear, - Clear!
Throw away the phone, And then let's say we were kidnapped,
No, no, she gets suspicious, Shut up! Shut up!
- Love! - So you did it! You left?
Sure sure! Regular, on time,
MIME TRAIN
Come on, pass me Juri,
Yes, eh Juri,,, He's in the restaurant car,
(Bruno) He wanted a sandwich,
Excuse me, didn't you make the sandwiches?
Yes, yes,,, the sandwiches,,,
(Bruno) That is, but he wanted it different! She wanted it with salami,
Bruno, look, I recommend you, eh! In fact, I commend myself to Juri,
Hi love, HI,
Bravo, you were brave,,, You didn't blurt out,
Except that he would leave you,,,
They will be desperate, terrified,
HAPPY MUSIC
Come on Bruno! Let's chase this train!
No, look, I'll do it myself! You've done enough damage already, huh!
- Can I help you! - And how?
Well, let's rent a car! How long has it been since we didn't do something together?
I'm 45,,, it's been 45 years since we've done something together,
Heh! How time passes,
- Bruno? - (aside) Blessed,,,
And who is this here?
It's dead weight, I completely forgot, You don't know how it smells!
Bruno sorry, I was late,
Eh,,, the train is,,, it's late, So, you're in luck, huh!
- That's better, - Dad, this is Milo,,,
Milo! What a beautiful name and what beautiful eyes like those of the mother,
- Thank you, - Pleasure, I'm Claudio,
I am a doctor and father of that man Iî:
serious man huh! All in one piece, Health informant,,,
But what does a health informant have to do with it now,,, come on!
It has to do with it, it has to do with it, I'm in good hands right?
Yes, but maybe we miss the train and instead it's better to go now, right?
Milo, come on! Come on, come on! Oh mama!
Extreme sweating of the dermis, or psychiatric illness or menopause,
Sure, go,
Oh well, Blessed! Thank you, Don't worry, we're here,
You must have parked wrong, right?
No, I was lucky, I quickly found a place,
- You don't get on the train? - I'm going up,
I was waiting for,,, you to go! I get on, I get on the train, I get on,,,
Then bye! Blessed, go ahead, Say hello to mom, Milo!
Go, for him too, understand? It's kind of like kindergarten placement, if mom,,,
Bruno! You're thoughtful, but we're not in kindergarten, are we?
Oh well, but,,, Go,,, go!
TRAIN WHISTLE
Where does this train go?
(in French) In Paris,
- Paris, - Paris,
In Paris! What are we going to do in Paris?
GUITAR ARPEGIO
Wait, calm down, Indeed, eat a sandwich, so that you relax,
- But what is this crap? - And a sandwich,
It also stinks, What is this crap?
Listen! I brought fourteen, there will be one you like right?
"Stink"! Understood? He says "stink", he,,,
Oh! There is no ordinary one! They all suck!
Listen but don't touch them all, then we have to eat them, eh!
I do not know what to do, Then we can't even contact him!
- But can you count? - Eh, I do, I'm a doctor!
That's six phones, they've hidden one,
Certain! The genius! Why do you think Stella already has a mobile phone at the age of five?
Why, you think she doesn't have it at five years old? But where do you live, nerds,
Look, I met four-year-old children with cell phones who
called home: "Mom, come and get me," At four years,,,
If Stella has a phone, Chiara saved my number,,, and in fact there is!
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Oh well, wait, Stella isn't it, This is Juri! Ada,,, what,,,
Try them all,
VOICE CHILDREN
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
- Ready? - Ready! Edward?
Shh!
I'm sorry, my father advised me to hide the phone,,,
Don't look, don't worry, you did great! Edward, great!
Listen, how's it going there? How are you? Are there fainting spells, sickness, someone crying?
Ninth, We are all well,
(Bruno) Well, well, You were very brave, huh!
— Me? — Yes, you, you,
Put me on speakerphone for a moment, I want to talk to everyone,
(Bruno) So guys! I promise you that in Milan we will get on that train,
Do in Bologna,,,
I promise you that at the latest in Bologna we will get on that train,,,
Do in Florence,,,
Alright! We'll get on that goddamn train and take you to Camp, okay?
(there's a voice) Don't tell the inspector that you're without parents, eh!
Juri, listen, go to my place, take my fanny pack, inside is my
wallet, there are train tickets, You keep them in delivery,
I love you, huh?
Luckily, in the meantime we know that Eduardo has a telephone, we can
talk about anything, they are on the train, not underneath, we can do it!
Boys! But do we care about Camp?
No!
(Ada) We are on vacation, aren't we? (all) Yes!
Then fuck the Camp!
(all) Fuck Camp!
Look, look who's meeting again,,,
Do you have a ticket, brat?
(inspector in French) Tickets, please,
No wallet,,, no tickets, all on the other train, You?
I have problems with banks, You know I run the money another way,,,
Sure, I guess, What are we doing?
- I'll talk to her! - No, we won't tell another lie, I speak,
- (in French) Good morning gentlemen, - Good morning ma'am,
"Oui",,, eh,,, How do I tell you that we lost the children on the train?
- I say so, - But how long have you been speaking French?
You either have French or you don't, and I do,
(in French) We have a problem with the boy, listen to me for a moment,,,
INAUDIBLE
(softly) What did you tell her?
I told her that he urgently needs brain surgery in Bologna,
Only he escaped on this train, we chased him and the train left,
And if he doesn't come back, he'll practically die!
Yes, And then, importantly, I told her that you are his father,
— The father of,,, — Yes! So hug him, show him suffering,
- How to hug him,,, - Hug him, do something!
Eh,,, my son,,, My son!
- Ah! Are you her father? - Huh?
I asked if you are her father,
I do not know!
Oh well, by the way, this little boy stole my little boy's pizza,,,
-Then he's not my son, - Give him back the pizza immediately!
Wakes up! Give him back the pizza! But he looks who you are,,, You're welcome,
But is she kidding? Should I give this half-eaten pizza to my child?
But be ashamed, look,,, and you, who are watching, don't say anything?
- Ninth! -I don't understand, because she has to lose
my son who has nothing to do with the rudeness of these parents,,,
I don't know how to tell you, tickets aren't enough on my train,
Parents in the flesh are also needed,,,
since you don't have them, am I to assume you were born under a cabbage?
- No sir, we have,,, -,,,parents,
May I know where the hell are they?
Excuse me, There are two passengers in carriage 4, but
they are both sitting in the same seat,,, what should I do?
Do the count and throw the one whose turn it is off the train,
What he said?
I always have to do everything on this train,,,
I want your parents here in ten minutes,
Exactly ten minutes, Not eleven, not twelve,
- Can we do at least fifteen? - Let's make it eight,
What does it say, huh? Shall I take the brat hostage?
No, better not! Then the parents arrive, he
could risk another suspension, Better not,
When they arrive, he reports them for child neglect,
Come with me, I have a plan,
Ad are you sure? Do you know how angry my father gets?
What do you care, come on, swipe the card!
Swipe the card! Swipe the card!
What a beautiful plan!
- In my house all this is forbidden, - (Edu) Me too,
Enough guys! I didn't tell you to eat!
(Ada) Now let's go get all the good things we have
in our suitcase and I'll explain the plan to you,
We need to find two parents who love to eat,
- Like my father, - So we can bribe them,
It seems silly to me,
Not me!
- (Ada) I'll leave you just a lollipop, - My meatballs too?
(Ada) Even your meatballs,
Come on! At least that chocolate, leave it!
(in French) Come,
Please come down,
(Bruno) But be reasonable! If he drops us here, we can't
Surely there is no train that takes us where we need to go,
At least in Bologna, in Florence,,, you can't do this to us!
I turn to the embassy, ​​eh! You can't do this to us,,,
- They can't do that! - They did,
And you are a moron, you are! He had to go eat the pizza!
But was there a need? Look where you took us?
- Bruno! But he is a little boy! - A kid who screwed up!
HELICOPTER NOISE
(in French) Where is the Italian?
(In French) Don't move!
What do you want from me?
You saw, the plan worked!
But what worked?
And you will see, by helicopter, we will arrive in Bologna before the children,
Ah, right,,,
Now tell me why you don't like going to my mother's for lunch,
I hate how your mother cooks!
- They argue, who wants them? - I do not, I already have mine,
Look, arguing with you is useless,
(Ada) They!
(Julia) No! Two parents without glasses wouldn't understand me,
(Ada) Let's take them!
No, they love each other too much,
That!
Too thin, perfect,,, looks like a broom,
It's the same as my mother,
Oh sorry!
And,,, him?
He adopted us!
I swear! This is the last,
- That? - Small, thin knees,,, like a dude!
He doesn't play on the floor, In fact, he doesn't play at all, Same as my father,
- Who? The pain in the ass? - Shut up!
(Ada) Guys stop it! Leave Juri alone!
I can not take it anymore!
(Juri) Now that he plays!
Hello sir, we would like to make you a fair offer,
We need a fake father for a few hours,
We pay well,
Behold, he is his son,
- Hello, Juri, - I don't want children,
Why?
You guarantee me that you will get a degree, have a good job, a
beautiful wife, make me a grandfather without causing me any problems?
- Well no, - Eh, did you see?
Pull up your shirt! I'll take this,
Gone, you crooked-toothed monsters,
Okay! But that's exactly why I have braces,
It is not easy to find two parents!
HELICOPTER NOISE
Does the boy have to be operated on?
It's a difficult operation,,, he might not even make it,
- Beautiful thing death, - Uh,,,
I'm confused,
I did whatever she wanted, I took the dog, I did the shopping, I cooked,,,
Then he left me for another,,,
HELICOPTER ALARM
(Claudio) Isn't it that we're stooping a bit too much?
- What happens? - I don't want to live anymore,
- What he said? -He said he has a dog, stuff like that!
- What dog? -What dog does he have?
I want to die!
(Bruno) And what does it mean? - I don't know, it will be the dog's name,
But this one cries! This is desperate! This kills us!
Don't say "this"! He has a "this" name here!
I cooked,,, with my hands! With these hands!
Take the cloche!
But what do you care about her, sorry! We are here!
I'm a doctor, I can help you! You understand?
But do you know in the world for every man how many women there are? Seven! Thinks!
- Seven? - Yes!
I knew it,,, So I will never find another man for me again,,,
(pilot screaming) I loved you, Orazio!
YELL OUT
Help! We are falling!
YELL OUT
Good boy,
Bruno?
- Bruno? We are down! Brown, wake up! - Oh!
We are alive, Bruno!
(nurse) Air ambulance arrived, We proceed to transport the patient,
- But we are in Genoa! - But nothing ever suits you!
Better Genoa than Bologna! No? Especially in the summer,
And he! He has to operate!
It's serious, We have to save it,
Have you found your parents?
Or are you a bunch of orphans who have escaped reform school?
You are scared? I'm a controller! Check!
Bunch of scoundrels,,,
(children) Go, go, go!
VOICE CHILDREN
It's over now!
Don't be smart, move! Here's another one! Come come,
Come in!
Force!
Lady?
We are a group of children who escaped from a center where they used to beat us, look here,,,
My mother died and my father is waiting for us in Palermo,
And if the inspectors know we're alone, they put us back inside,
Please pretend you're our grandmother,,,
There you are,
You two come with me, I'll call the police and we'll have a chat,
- And why? - Why children,
by train, they cannot travel alone, Move!
You ought to know, ma'am, since you are quite old,
They are not alone,
They stay with me,
And the rest of the crew?
Also look after their friends,
What a beautiful family picture,,,
Do you take a selfie or do you prefer that I take a picture of you? Get out of your way,
(all) Yes!
HORRIBLE BRUSH
(radio man) Unfortunately we lost them,
Shit, shit!
That's just the right word, Bruno,
By the way, I would also escape!
Good morning!
He's a doctor, huh!
Hey!
Good morning!
- He stopped, Let's go, - Thank you! - It was you?
So youngsters! What are you going to do in "Florence, Rome is fine too?" Huh?
Heh! It's a long story, I mean, we don't really go to Rome, that is, we go but we don't,,,
I get it, are you guys having a little pleasure trip? A "holiday girl"?
- No, It's just that we're in shit, eh,,, - Cosimo, please,
How in the shit? How, in what sense?
We had a "misunderstanding" me and him, and the train left,,,
- Ouch, ouch! - With all the children on board,,,
Ouch! Ugly, But then it's not a thing,,, I thought you were so,,,
Did you hear what happened to him? Ouch!
- And the children are small, - Ouch!
Oh, what a bad thing! And what to tell you, I don't know! Eh, the only thing I can tell you…
is to ask you a question, Take a good look at this face, I mean no, take a good look at it,
got it,,, brothers, can I call you brothers?
Look closely at this face, are you seeing it?
Can it seem to you, and I repeat, the face of someone who can leave two brothers
picked up, and I repeat, on the street, without help? That is, in the shit?
- Huh? - So! Let's go to Rome!
So be it! Let's go to Rome!
- Thank you, Cosimo! Thanks again, thanks, - Thank you, Cosimo,
Let's go to Rome!
I like you hippies because you are free,
- Real! - Very free!
The right word is free, you are free like those,,,
those animals Iî! Heh! Those, those cows Iî, What are,,,
Brother! Here you touch me right in the heart,
What are they, you tell me what are those stupendous beings? Those are Chianinas!
Ah! Chianina!
They are fantastic, beautiful cows! Look at that beauty,,,
- But can I say one thing, Cosimo? - Certain,
There is no better meat than Tuscan meat,
Well done, long live Tuscan meat!
Yes,,, no, I understand! I mean, you mean the cow, as a cow
breed, it's really good, In fact, I who know them, I know,
They are very tame animals, Real? Very good,
No! Just good on the plate! Delicious,
You know those beautiful Florentine steaks you make,,,
- To the blood! - Medium, I take it medium,,,
- AI blood is p - But also well cooked!
Stop! Stop the car! Stop her immediately!
Out! Immediately out! Out, corpse eaters, out!
- You are killers! - Protect the child!
But did you have to tell him that you like meat?
But can I imagine that there is a Tuscan who does not eat meat?
- You can! - But then, you talk, huh?
"Succulent, good, a butter!" But stop it, go!
Fucking freaks!
BLESSED
Stop!
Murderers! They killed a sheep!
The sheep you killed!
Ugly bastards!
BLESSED
Ugh,
The hedgehog said to the hare: "It's not I who made you fall,
but it was you who came upon me,"
And the hare replied: "But why? Do you think I'm fat?"
- It's nonsense, - What?
(softly) The hyena doesn't live in the same realm as the hedgehog and the hare!
And the hyena,,, ridens!
(quietly) How do we get this one out of the way?
Didn't you get it? Ridens!
- Hate, - Star,,,
Don't crowd,
You can crowd, She's dead,
Oh,
- Dead, - What do we do now?
- There's the van! - Stop!
(Claudius) Did you see? Providence,
CHURCH MUSIC
We'll take these young people to the Pope, huh?
- All right in Rome! Everywhere,,, - From the Pope!
- On one condition, though! - What condition?
- Sing along with us! - Heh! Go!
Because if you don't sing, we won't take you!
Let's sing,,,
Let's sing, what song is it?
Sa accumenge ra matin With cornett and cappucin
It's a soup and tin Sopriedl quantity for me, but what a veré teng
But what diet do I like and meatballs Do I like cotolett
Aggia magnate 4 e teng famm song 'e 7 O sol e nott mo stav a casa vostr
Clìammatm p a festa na mezzor And we hung up
(mother superior) And go! Well done Bruno! Go! Go!
Ninth! Wait a moment! Juve up,,, no!
VOICE WITH FU SO
Not Juventus! No!
go away!
- But you want to ruin us? - Yes, Go Juve! So?
You are stupid, that you lost your son,
Bruno! Take it easy!
- You broke my nose! Are you crazy? - Yes, now I'll give you the rest!
- Bruno! - Shut up!
- Come here! - You are out,
Imbecile!
BLESSED
So we're even,
SHOT RIFLE
VOICE CONCITATED
(Mirko) How much does it weigh,,,
(humming) Grandma, the little girl murmurs,
RUSSIAN
(humming) , , ,the little one is crying ,,,
(softly) Now, quick,
But are we sure of what we are doing?
- Ninth,
Perfect,
(humming),,,grandma all sparkling, full of sweets,,,
Mario!
(humming) Do you know where the little girl is hidden,,,
Let's hurry up, come on!
This time we don't miss the train,
That's how I like you, badass,
TRAIN WHISTLE
I have to get on the train, my son is on board,
I met the grandmother, some children,,, she could only be a grandfather,
I'm the father! Look, we know each other, we met in Turin, do you remember,,,
If I had spoken to her, I would never have forgotten her,
- Anyway, did you get the ticket? - Yes, yes!
But I don't have it, it's on the train, my son has it,,, Juri!
Unfortunately, on my train, tickets are bought first, and children later,
(Bruno) But my son has it! I told him, he's on the train, Juri!
We are great, we have to deal with it by ourselves, Besides, I don't want to go to that field,
Juri! Do you like Ada?
To me? No,,, What are you saying!
Please! Please please!
Juri!
Please!
Cla! I had an idea!
- Cla, I have an idea, listen to me! - But WHAT? Oh! Are you dumb?
Then can't you see how she's tanned?
Son of her he denied him, he rejected him, he threw him away like a cannavazzo!
- Yes, oh well Dad, it's understood, eh! - Then his wife is about to leave him,,,
her if she hasn't already left him, And you come here: "I have an idea!"
- But yes, Let's steal a car! - Let's steal a car, huh?
Of course! Let's steal this car!
Yes, certainly! Come on! We also end up in jail, Much!
That's why you didn't become a doctor, because you shit doubts!
Ah, why can you steal a car?
I open people, you want me to not know how to open a car, huh?
Heh! Go! You give up, huh? Do you know why I came to the station?
Because he called me Juri, Because he didn't want to travel with you!
You pester him! Why did you get old,,,
_ Ah! I? — on
, 'n? , S“
But do you know why Juri called you instead?
— Let's hear it, — Why are you being an idiot!
But it's easy to be an idiot when there are others who carry everything on their shoulders,
"Come on, let's leave mum"! No?
"But let's get with another woman, Come on, let's leave the other woman too,
In fact, do you know what we do now? Let's steal a nice car! That's what it takes!"
- Oh, stop! - But leave me alone!
Go, go! Go steal the car, Show me how you do it, I really want to see,
Do you check a tutorial on the internet? I want to see!
Yes, I found it,
I mean, is there an internet tutorial on how to steal cars?
— Oh yeah? — Yes, you need to find a satellite code emulator,,, this one!
- Geo-locate, initiate call and,,, - And?
Nothing, it crashed,
And we waste time! Meanwhile the train leaves with the children! Holy shit!
AUTO ALARM
- The car broke open! - It wasn't me, oh!
Come on! Come up! Come up! Bruno, come on!
We are stealing a car!
You are crazy! Completely!
- Shall we do the cables? Come on! - Do we know how cables are made?
(Claudio) I don't know,,,
AUTO ALARM
ENGINE STARTS
-She went! - She's gone! Close!
(Bruno) she turned on! (Claudio) We are very good thieves!
(Bruno) Now we need to get it going, how do we do it?
- (Claudio) Like all the others, come on! - (Bruno) Where are the gears?
- (Claudio) Put the first! - (Bruno) There isn't, there's a "D"!
(Bruno) I put the "D" eh!
(Bruno) It works, it works!
We have to find a solution, Does anyone have any ideas? Giulio?
I'm going to pee,
Not in the bathroom! No! No!
Help! Ah!
- What song do you like? - One that you sure don't like,
Optimal, So I choose one that I like,
SONG "BORN TO BE WILD" BY STEPPENWOLF
I love this,
THEY SING
- But what do they want? - I do not know,
- Go,,, - There will be a speed camera,
How did we not notice it!
But maybe it wasn't there before,,,
But as it was not there before! Of course there was! Heh!
Then "the hen party",,, But what is it?
"Bachelorette party", come on! It's easy! Ok French, but at least English?
I know English,,, TRUMPET
Born to be wild!
But where are my friends?
But who is this? How long has he been back there?
You are my bachelorette party, aren't you?
And of course,,, Yes! Who are you?
But the future bride! I die,,,
Even the surprise trip they organized for me, What cool!
Do you know that you are cute?
What's your name? No, wait! Shh!
Your name is Love, Here Love, this is for you, It suits you, huh!
We keep this one, right?
But no, we can't keep it! She must be returned! And a kidnapping!
But what a kidnapping, this is a meeting, You understand?
Then we need the car, huh! Do we give up?
Okay, we give up and leave my nephew, alone, in full puberty on the train,
(Ada) Why doesn't he want to believe it? She is our grandmother!
She forgot because she has Alzheimer's,
Of course! Like I'm your uncle and the gentleman hanging
from the train was your father a little while ago, And so?
- View? - See what ma'am, sorry,,,
A real grandmother, in her purse, would have
creams, sweets, pastries, chocolates of all kinds,
Of course, a real grandmother would also have a photo of her dead husband in her purse,
Because my husband is 92 years old, And he is still alive,
Exactly,,, long-lived couple, ma'am, congratulations,
This baby gang tried to kill me,
At this point, all you have to do is confess,
And if you do, I'll be a little more lenient,
Let's say the situation is this: you boarded my train,
you ransacked it, and you are without parents,
Is that so? Little rogue?
All right, we're alone on the train, We've tried bribing
some parents, but it's hard to find two good ones these days,
Then we took a grandmother, It's true, we killed her, but then she resurrected,
She was Stella,
Sorry, I just fell,
- Fall from which bunk? - Third floor,
Voluntary homicide, Do you have other crimes to confess?
Last year, I wrote "asshole" in the building's elevator,
And you will understand! I pooped in it!
Nice condo, Well, at least they were honest,
- They confessed, -Do his duty!
Find me a free berth, The gang leaders come with me,
- We! - Not you, the two of them,
Come on, Come on! Come in, Slowly, come on! Without many stories, Above,
Above!
I'll let you out in Palermo, When I personally deliver you to Polfer,
You deliver bread and water to the children,
But are we sure this isn't a kidnapping?
They are not people, they are just children,
The kids have already ruined it once,
There won't be a second, I've been doing this job for thirty years,
I advise you to be careful,
I did the Cassino-Frosinone, not Caporetto,
(Mario) I still bear the marks of the battle,
- Ah, even,,, - Six o'clock commute,
- Get out of the way,
Out,
Now it's better to wait for everyone to go to sleep,
You are right,
How do we pay the toll?
Calm! I have a friend in Salerno, She will help us, you'll see,
Before or after mom?
- During, - Ah! How boring!
- Zero-eight-seven,,, - Even the number by heart?
But you have no idea, the sexiest woman I've ever known,
No, no, no! Please,
— A body to scream!— I don't want to hear it, I'm still your son,
It disgusts me! I don't want to know!
Ready! Little heart!
(disgusted) "Little Heart"!
Is that your friend?
But who knows hers! She's a crazy one
she that she wants to rob us, Go, Bruno,
— Are you sure? — Yes, of course! It's not Elsa, she!
- Go, Bruno! He hits the pedal, -But she has money!
You take them, Milo!
Claudius!
Claudius!!
Claudius! Done the robbery!
SIREN
You're a monster! Watch that time passes for you too, eh!
You don't have to be ashamed, You are an old man,
You wanna shut up, huh? I prefer when you're boring,
Even the police,,, But you're brilliant!
— Alright, isn't he mad at us? — Yes, he has it in for us, Go Bruno! Go!
TROMBETÎ A
I have not done anything!
You lost seven minors and headbutted the eighth,
You crash-landed a helicopter,
stole a car, kidnapped a bride,"
- Pleasure anyway, eh! Greta, - The pleasure is all mine,,,
You killed two sheep and robbed an old woman,
- No, he robbed the old woman, - Milo Love mugged the old woman!
Thanks friends, it's the most beautiful bachelorette party in the world!
SIREN
SHIP SIREN
POLICE SIREN
(Bruno) We can still do it,
As soon as they leave,,, we join the boys on the ship,
,The boys on the ship,,,
A ship?
Is there a party on board for me? I have the most beautiful best friends ever!
(Bruno in a low voice): Look, we'll have to
tell him it's not his bachelorette party,
See how you are? She's having fun, and you want to spoil her party,
Oh! On purpose!
My favorite cake is the millefeuille,
Mine too!
SHIP SIREN
Where we are?
(softly) We did it! Attention,
(humming) Full of candy and brats,,,
do you know where the little girl is hidden,,,
from the sparkle of the toys, "Grandma!"
the little girl murmurs,,,
(Ada in a low voice) We cannot abandon the others,
(Juri in a low voice) You're right,
Street!
Hey guys! Guys, we are free!
Street! let's go!
Quick!
- Quick! - Hide!
SHIP SIREN
- No, no, no! Fuck the ship! - Started,
Eh, I see it's gone! How do we do now?
Come on, come on, Milo, come on!
Where we go?
Hi Greta, it's going to be a beautiful wedding, HI,
- HI, - What are you saying?
My friends? My party?
What are you doing? Do you leave me here? And how do I get home now?
— Join the cables, — Yes, red with blue, it's easy!
Milo Love! At least you,,,
We can't leave it like this!
(Mila) I'm coming! Wait for me, wait for me!
(Bruno) Let's join them,
SHIP SIREN
(Juri) It's nice to be here,
What are we talking about?
- About what we don't tell anyone, - Guy?
What makes us happy,
Put me under the duvet in winter when it's freezing,
Jumping in puddles when nobody sees me,
The rain beating on the glass,
Put on a sock with a hole in it and get away with it all day,
When my father listens to me,
This travel,
Me too, I wish it would never end,
You,
What you"?
Make me happy,
You too,
SHIP SIREN
(imitating her) "Tuuuu!"
"Youuuu!"
Space Maul!
VERSES OF FIGHT
- Enough! - What's your problem?
(Ada) Enough! Boys!
Oh! There is Mario!
- Who released them? - I haven't been, I swear,
Too soft! Get angry, get tough, miss!
Leave me a moment, I'll think about it!
(Mirko) Boss coming, go!
- Do we have ammunition? - Yes, I'll take them! come!
These toads!
- All against Mario, - All against Mario,
All against Mario,
- There's Laura! - Away!
Come on, come on, come to Aunt Laura's, How good it is to be bad!
Ouch!
If you don't give up, you skunks,
I'll be forced to arm the mop,
Freedom!
Freedom! Go, guys!
Freedom!
VOICE CHILDREN
-What the hell is he? Waterfall? - No, Spit Coke,
There's no problem, You are children, I forgive you,,,
I did the Cassino-Frosinone, it's a strategy,
At that time? We are waiting for you, huh! What are you doing? Do you give up?
Go guys, now!
VOICE CONCITATED
They're meatballs, not meteorites,
Let's see what fish I caught,
Ah! A baby piranha,
Anyway,,,
it will be at least two hours,,, that I'm down and you're up,
But when are you going to relieve me?
What do you want, if I suffer from a herniated disc,
And these?
We can still do it,
In what sense?
Greetings! I am a doctor,
INAUDIBLE
They accepted the exchange,
- Do you take donkeys for the Ape? - No, donkeys don't want them,
They take cell phones,
But no, no! Cell phones are for kids!
They are boys, so you can!
(Claudio) These are of the latest generation,
They also have custody, Done deal? What do you want?
- Hate! What do they want? - They want yours too,
Ninth! Those are screwing you,
My mobile phone alone is worth 600 euros! That Bee will cost, yes and no, 30!
- Look, it's a fair exchange, - We have no choice,
"We have no choice"! So let's give him your guitar, then!
- They don't want the guitar, - Not the cell phone!
Don't get attached to things! On! They are things!
- You buy melo back! - Certain,,,
With whose money?
Here you are! This is just the top!
(Claudio) Done deal?
Yes, yes! No! Yes, yes,,, Thanks for the love,
They even gave us a tape of Julio Iglesias!
- What an ass! - And a sheep!
- What's the sheep's name? - "Sheep" is called!
"Sheep", They are pragmatic,
But do we have to take this one?
You know what they're like, they get offended around here,
- Come on, eh,,, jump! - Go!
We have to take it from behind, come on!
- So,,, shall I take from here? - Go, pull!
Here you are,
Weighs, huh?
I want the shower!
MOBILE PHONES RING
- Ready? - Ready?
- Who is? - But which pizzeria?
- Who is? - Ready?
- I did not understand, - Giulio?
INDISTINCT VOICES
PERNACCHIA
Juri, love?
(shepherd on the phone) But what love? I am Turiddu, but what does this one want?
But who am I talking to? Bruno, is that you?
(in Sicilian) This is the wife of that idiot who is looking for his son!
We don't lose it this time, Here it is,
— This is it! — Yes,
And this!
We made it!
— Sorry! Little children,,, — We didn't see them,
- They are children,,, - Did you see any children inside?
But where are the children?
Juri?
Let's call Clare,
- Let's call Chiara, - Give me the phone,
- It'll kill me, - Come on, I'll talk to you!
MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES
Ready? Beautiful claret!
- What is he doing here? - As?
I thought the worst thing was hitting on my mom,
But I didn't know that she was really her mother,,,
But no! You did worse! You managed to lose my son too,
You and this other cretin! And don't say you're a doctor,
But I don't say it, But I'm a doctor,
Without me the train would have derailed! With those devils on board!
I should be rewarded! I deserve a Milan-Venice section,,,
or the Rome-Milan, but not the Cassino-Frosinone,
- Excuse me? But where are the children? - He threw them off the train,
But not with the running train, at a stop a few kilometers from here"
(Stella) Juri, when are we arriving?
- I am hungry! - A kilo you say!
To you, I'm hungry,
We are all hungry,
Yes, but I had meatballs and you made me throw them,
Yuri's idea,
Just you two, You've already screwed up too much,
Stella, what are you doing?
Enough everyone! We are children, we need adults,
We have to go to Camp,
- A bus is coming! - There he is!
VOICE CHILDREN
Wait for us!
Good thing it stopped!
Can you give us a lift to the camp please?
Welcome, children,
I was just looking for you,
Yuri's mom?
Everything remained as it was then, Identical,
I just didn't remember it like that
Lager?
It's called removal,
I feel guilty as hell,
It's always been a shitty place,
But you liked coming here! I've always wondered why,
Because I liked taking the train ride with you,
Juri's parents?
- Hi Ed! - HI,
(all) Hello!
(Bruno) And a little more enthusiasm! Happy as you were before, no!
What shyness! How shy,,, but still: "Hello"!
(children) Hello,
Come on then! Don't be shy, no!
But where did you put your cell phones? And all day we call you!
At that time! I've lost my cell phones, But don't worry, because I'm buying them again,
Just tell me all the models and,,, here I came up with some,,,
Epistaxis,
Ada? I see you a little wasted!
How was the train journey?
Eh,,, then! The train journey: Well-very well! Very good! He has gone,,,
(intermittently) be,,, mo
- Bruno? - Stella all right?
(intermittently) It was a perfect trip!
Silence! you will see! We'll stuff them with knowledge, like nice fat turkeys,
Cooked to perfection for the new school year!
We will make up for lost time!
If you want to say goodbye now"
— A final farewell? — Eh, then the activities will begin,
- They won't have a free moment, - Ah,,, of course! Certain,,,
Thanks, it was the best trip of my life,
Certain, Me too,
And I swear that from today I will wash a little more,
- No come on! Don't worry,,, - Let him! She promised,
Yes, indeed it is important, wash yourself,
The relatives are now requested to leave the courtroom,
BLESSED
- Hey, hello, Juri, - Hi love,
- Hello, Yuri, - Hello grandfather,
What is the name of the sheep?
Dolly,
But what if you, I and Juri went to the beach?
At the sea?
I don't come to the beach if my friends don't come!
Come on! Juri, we can't tell the other parents the truth, It's impossible,
They would kill us,
I said no! Either all or none, I'm not leaving them with that!
Juri! Bruno? Why don't you tell him something too?
Yuri, you are right, He's right,
I also never abandoned my friends,
- It's a prison! - And we'll get them out,
- At least we try, - Well,,, yes, And then?
And then we present them with a fait accompli,
You will see that when the parents see their children at
sea, who are happy and content to stay at our expense,,,
mine, they will accept!
Juri? No, no, no! Get off, Boys! Come on, it's a bunker,
How do we get them out, how?
We search the internet for the "escape" tutorial,
There was a hole in the net, with my friends we went through the hole,
we spent the night out,
We played ball on the beach, then in the morning we'd come back before the flag-raising,
He was,,,
Clear? She comes back and we meet on the road, We find a way,
- You are a doctor, aren't you? - Retired,
Over there,
- I remembered him quite older, - Heh! Over time it happens!
- What? - Eh, that life widens a bit,
No! Don't do it alone!
- Expand your network, - I pass the arm first,
- Pass the arm,,, Bravo,,, - Push the elbow, push! Ah!
(Claudio) Now he can pass the shoulder,
Don't push like that, no! But if you push like that you'll kill me!
- Shoot! He pulls out, - Shooting?
- Ah! - (Claudio) What do you want to do?
- Go out, - Wait wait,,,
- Wait there's the elbow! - Ah! Ah,,, You can't,,,
- The hole is too small, - Go there you're thin, right?
- I have a jacket that costs the wrath of God! - And you take it off!
I try,
- Are you sure? - Sure sure, no,
Instead Yes! You'll make it, Go!
I've seen it done,
Very quietly, Don't get hurt, Watch out, here, watch out! Come on!
Go! Run! Warn them! Tell him: "let's all go on holiday, to the beach, pay dad!"
One day, she looked at herself in a pool and fell in love with his reflection in the water,
Realizing that it was an impossible love, Narciso let himself die,
CHILDREN GIGGLE
What is there to laugh about?
This is a tragic story!
Where do you look?
LAUGHS
- Where did she run off to? - Man in the hat?
Pick me up!
(Bruno) Come on come on come on!
VOICE CONCITATED
Leave the guitar! You can't play it anyway!
(all) Juri! Run!
VOICE CONCITATED
- Street! - Come on, it's coming!
Right here!
Help! Guys, let's talk about it,,, studying is important!
(Bruno) Run!
Left!
What's up?
- Crooked, - Distortion?
- Distortion, what do you think? - What do I know?
Come on guys, here we go!
HORN
(singing) That's not how you live!
- Clear! We made it! - Everything OK?
Children?
BLESSED
Shit,
Excuse me? Oh! Where are the kids?
- I'm back here,,, - But I'm not Iî! Where did you put the children? They are not here,
HI!
- I'm Iî! - You put them on the wrong Ape,,,
HI!
- Come on! Come on! Street! - "Come on", They are the ones who are wrong,
Leave, leave! Come on come on come on! You are two idiots, you are two idiots!
HI!
But she couldn't even fit on that train!
- Like I shouldn't have been there,,, - Eh no! Why was it suspended,,,
Temporarily suspended,
For a little prank that if you want I'll tell you,
Ninth! Forget it, But does she remember her childhood?
Of course I remember it, How can I not remember,,,
And what were the names of her classmates when she was at school?
I don't remember the names of my class mates, because generally
I always put myself alone in the last row, behind everyone,,,
And when you used to play ball with the kids, if you remember?
No, I remember they hated me!
Because I was a referee, I was the referee, well,,,
But you,,, were you ever a child?