رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال
you'd cling to your joke of a career until the sun goes out,
But let's not kid ourselves, you had your 15 minutes,
and now no one needs or wants to see you on that ice,
Bonsoir, mon ami,
Just thought I'd stop by,
Well, enough chit chat,
You know why I'm here, Thibaut,
Do I?
As president of the skating union,
having to tell those past their prime
that they're past their prime
is one of the least saddest parts of my job,
Saddest, I meant saddest, What did I say?
Are we done?
Let's be clear here, Frenchie,
I strongly advise you to end your skating career yourself,
ASAP, because if you don't,
I will personally make sure you regret-
Oh shit, the soup,
So as I was saying, I will personally make sure
that you regret- Here, hold this,
What was I saying?
Thanks, Yeah, uh-huh,
Look, there, there's no need to tell me all this,
See, I disagree,
If it were up to you,
you'd cling to your joke of a career until the sun goes out,
But let's not kid ourselves, you had your 15 minutes,
and now no one needs or wants to see you on that ice,
You are old news, And old news goes out with the garbage,
You see this soup?
Well, you can't have any,
Oh, what a beautiful thing
To leave a gloomy place
For Paris, beautiful Paris
which love must have created one day
Oh, ffff-
Most film teachers think mainstream,
but those teachers are not Professor Steve,
See, Professor Steve thinks visionary,
And that is why we're going to skip over
these very nice mainstream folks,
And instead focus on the works
of one quietly brilliant modern master:
Professor Steve,
Sorry,
Actually, dudes and dudettes,
Professor Steve has changed his mind,
Let's all break out our short scripts we wrote last week
because it's time for another rousing round of
peer
critique,
Hmm,
Now, of course, we don't have time to critique everybody,
So instead, let's just spotlight one very lucky person,
Claire, how about you?
Now, remember, people, we are not here to attack Claire,
but to guide her, to inspire her, to shape her as a writer,
Wilson?
Yeah, so, Claire, this isn't to attack you,
but to inspire you and shape you as a writer,
Um, I just feel like your script didn't, like,
convey the human experience,
That's because it's about a talking tapeworm,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
This is not an arguing space, this is a growing space,
Wilson, please continue,
And quite frankly, it could use more minorities,
Ooh,
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
Mm, mm,
Unpack that for me, Yes,
I felt that there was a lack of a true political voice
from the tapeworm,
I found that deficit to be, frankly, sad,
I feel like the tapeworm comes from a place of privilege,
Is the tapeworm willing to examine his privilege, Claire?
I mean,
I just feel like a tapeworm
wouldn't say this stuff in real life,
Unpack that for me,
Okay, everybody,
Thank you, thank you, Very rich remarks,
Now, for your next assignment,
you are going to make your own films,
Yes, that's right, you're going to make art, art,
Like Professor Steve before you,
Only not as good,
I figured out my film genre: puppet Greek tragedy,
So it'll be "Oedipus," but with puppets,
I call it: "Oedipuppet,"
Oh, so cute,
Can I be in it?
Yeah, actually, I was thinking of you for Oedipus,
Oh my God, Claire, doesn't he murder his dad,
and have sex with his mom, and gouge his eyes out, and die?
Yeah,
Cute, I'm in,
Seriously, though, can't believe your professor
signed off on this, how'd you convince him?
Whoa, Claire, did you even tell him?
Oh my God, don't you care about your grade?
Mm, he'll come around,
or not, And I'll get an F, and flunk out of college,
and spend the rest of my life cleaning toilets,
Ew! Don't talk about toilets, toilets are gross,
You know what you need?
Get laid?
No, but yes, but I mean realistically,
you need to go to Paris,
I can't just drop everything and go to Paris,
Sure you can, Claire,
Like, all you've ever talked about since middle school,
is the poems of Apollinaire, the history of the catacombs,
the entire "Astérix" series,
No wonder you're still a virgin,
You are very loud, But, seriously,
you've worked so hard for this,
You literally taught yourself French when you were a kid,
You should go,
We should both go,
make it a party,
Unlike you, I would have to withdraw
my entire college fund in order to go,
So what?
It's not like you're getting anything outta college,
It's a crazy idea, though,
We don't even know anyone in Paris,
Sure we do, my Uncle Antoine lives there,
Really? Mm-hmm,
Yeah, he's the head
of like this puppet conservatory in Paris,
Your uncle is the head
of Le Conservatoire de la Marionnette,
and you never told me?
You never asked,
Well, I just need to get through this class
and this professor, and then I'll figure it out,
Follow your gut, Claire,
If you wanna go to Paris, then go to Paris,
If you wanna make Oedipuppet, then make Oedipuppet,
because life is far too short
and true passion is far too rare,
How did you get so wise?
I talk to Yoda,
He lives in my closet, and when I touch his hand,
I ask him questions, and he gives me answers,
Maybe I should try it sometime,
Yeah, but you should probably get your own,
I don't let just anybody touch my Yoda,
He's in his original box,
Okay, let's do one last take,
Oedipuppet, gouging out the eyes, take four,
Roll camera
and
action,
Oh ye gods!
I am ruined!
For my wretched sins
I rip out mine eyes!
For my wretched sins
I rip out mine eyes!
I'm sorry, Claire, I can't raise your grade,
To do so would be to compromise
the rigorous standards of Professor Steve,
I didn't ask you to raise my grade,
I asked why you're saying my work isn't honest,
Oh, Claire, Claire, Claire, Claire, Claire, Claire,
How do I explain honesty?
Honesty is real
and honest,
You saw Wilson's movie today, right?
Now that was an honest work,
a heartfelt account of his turbulent upbringing
as a Cambodian child under the merciless Bic Pen regime,
You do realize Wilson is a lacrosse player
from Greenwich, right?
And
white,
Professor Steve chooses to ignore you,
Well, if I can't raise this grade,
I'm just worried about my GPA because,,,
Wait a second,
No, I'm not,
I'm not,
I'm just not,
Excuse me a second,
I need to call Yoda,
Julia, ask Yoda if we should go to Paris,
Ooh, yay, hang on a sec,
Yoda says, "For 800 years, have I trained Jedi,"
Good enough for me!
Your application is adequate,
Now, tell me why you wish to work as an au pair in Paris,
Okay, Well, uh, I've never been to France,
but what I've always wanted more than anything
is to live in Paris
So,,, I think this job
can help me get to know Parisian culture better,
You speak French perfectly!
Thank you! I'm, uh, I'm -
I'm half Belgian,
Yes,
Well, even so,
Anyway, some family in Paris will be very lucky
to have you for an au pair,
So, welcome to Babysitting Paris!
Ah,
but a word to the wise,
Some families don't particularly like it
when their au pair is as well-educated as you,
It can threaten their fragile sense of superiority,
So, you can't be too careful, you know?
Wait, um, what did you ,,,
Great, it's settled then,
Welcome to Babysitting Paris,
That is,,,
,,,if that's truly what you want,
This is the kind of decision that can
come back to haunt you,
if you see what I'm saying,
My God,,,
To look at your young face
and your supple, youthful skin,
,,,knowing full well that in three months' time
you'll come back prematurely aged
and wrinkled like a prune,
with a permanent twitch,
Uh, sorry, would you mind repea--
I didn't say anything,
Right, so I have other applicants to see,
how will you be paying?
Excuse me?
You, you dropped this, this receipt from, uh,
Babysitting Paris,
Oh, thank you,
You,,,
You speak French?
Uh, yes!
Are you French?
No, but,,,
I'm going to France next week,
It's my first time,
How about you? Are you from France?
Yeah, from Lyon,
Lyon! That's where Guignol is from,
How do you know about Guignol?
Funny for an American to know about a French puppet,
Well, uh, I like puppets!
I do too,
I mean, when you're from Lyon
It's pretty much required,
You live here in New York?
Yeah,
Well,,,
,,,not anymore, after this week,
But I did live here, for four years,
I was training for figure skating,
Oh, you skate?
Yeah,
I mean,,,
No,
Well, actually,,, it's complicated, but,,,
,,,oh, that's my ride,
- Ah, Oh, no, - Um,
Oh, okay,
Uh,
,,,See you soon!
Okay, Paris question,
Where do you think is best to rent an apartment:
La Rive Gauche or La Rive Droite?
Of course, La Rive Gauche is associated with bohemians,
so that might be kind of iffy,
Now certain places are going to be pricier, but consider-
You what?
Room and board with who?
Au pairing?
Oh my God, Claire,
No! I'd rather sell my body, except not really
because that's super unhygienic and you know me,
I'm like a super huge germophobe,
But, seriously, why do this?
Well, it's at least a little cheaper than living with you,
Oh, Claire,
No, I didn't mean, I didn't mean you could live with me,
I need my space,
You could live near me,
Oh my God, Claire, you love him,
No, I don't,
Sure you do,
Look at you,
Your cheeks are flushed, your pupils are dilated,
your face looks like this,
and your heartbeat is Julio Iglesias music,
Get your ear off my boob,
Oh my God, Claire, you guys should get married,
I should get married to someone
because I met them on the street?
You'd be surprised, People get married over less,
My cousin Jenna married this guy
because his flesh tones complemented her home furnishings,
How'd that work out for her?
Oh, she dumped him when his tan faded,
So let that be a lesson to you before you marry rashly,
Before, do you even listen to you?
What? Sorry, I was so distracted,
You know, your pores are huge,
It's funny what moves some people,
and not others,
For some it's rock-and-roll,
for others it's Beethoven and Brahms,
For one person, it's a Magritte painting,
and for another, it's a guy on ice
hurling himself into the air,
spinning three times, and landing on one tiny blade,
Somehow, it just makes you feel a little less lonely
in the world,
And who knows why,
Claire, welcome,
I'm Nadege St, Pierre, this is my husband Bernard,
He is pleased to meet you,
These are our children, Elodie and Angelique;
this is my mother, Katia; and our gouvernante,
how do you say that in English?
Housekeeper,
Bonjour,
Oh, no need, she does not speak French,
She's from Tasmania,
Tanzania,
Yes, that,
Nice to meet you all,
My goodness, you speak such lovely French!
Bernard, she speaks such lovely French!
Mother, she speaks such lovely French!
Such refinement, such education!
So wonderful!
Well, um, this is the key of your room,
Come with me, I'll show you,
Thank you,
You speak so well French,
Oh my God, Claire,
I'm like really depressed for you, except not really
because I have a really nice apartment to myself,
but still,
Thanks,
You're welcome, Claire,
So why do they call it a chambre de bonne anyway,
is it because everybody that ever lived here
died of depression and all that was left was their bones?
No, chambre de bonne means maid's room,
Ew,
Gross,
Hello,
Hi, my name is Claire Burkhardt,
I'm here to do a documentary project,
Why?
Uh,,, it was all arranged before I left,
with Mr, Le Drouin,
With whom?
With Mr, ,,,
Who??
Mr, Le Drouin,
Ah, Mr, Le Drouin!
Of course,
Because I'll be honest with you,
I can't understand you with your accent,
At any rate, I can't help you,
You better try the Registrar's office instead,
But,,, why,,,
Have a nice day,
Mr, Le Drouin,
Who?
Mister,,, Le,,, Drouin,
Ah, Mr, Le Drouin!
Frankly, I can hardly understand that accent of yours,
Go to the admissions office instead,
It's over there,
Ah, you're here to see Mr, Le Drouin!
Why didn't you say so before?
Though I must say,
It's not easy to understand you, with your,,,
Yes, I know, My big fat accent,
Yes, exactly,
Go try the front desk,
What did I just tell you?
I know, Madame, but they told me,,,
What you're doing is very rude,
In France, we do not interrupt,
No, no, it's okay, it's okay,
I'll take it from here,
Hi, I'm, uh, I'm Rafal Dabrowski, I, I'm a student here,
Uh, they sent me to get you,
Bonjour,
Wow,
Your French is so beautiful,
So I heard you're gonna be filming us?
Uh, yeah,
And you'll be here all semester, I hope?
Um,
mm, mm-hmm,
So, um,
another question, um,
do you have, um, boyfriend?
Hi, um,,,
,,,don't we,,, know each other?
No, madame,
Um, do you know
why Thibaut Baudet isn't on the program?
Yes, madame,
It's because he retired at the start of the season,
So,,, he's not skating?
Yes, exactly,
He's not skating,
However,,,
,,,he's here to watch the competition,
Well, thanks so much for coming, It was great to see you,
I hope you guys liked the performance,
He skated really well today,
Especially today,
Hello,,,
Can I help you?
Yes, Uh,,, Sorry, uh,,,
Excuse me,
I tanted to well you,,,
,,,I mean, you tell,,,
,,,that you're my skavorite fater
,,,I mean, fakorite skaver
fuh,,, ska,,, fa,,,
I need to go to the bathroom,
Oh my God,
,,,favorite skater!
My favorite skater, Is you,
That's all,
,,,Me?!
Yes!
Well,,, thanks! That's nice of you,
Wait,,, we know each other!
We met in New York,
that time I was waiting for a cab,
We talked about puppets, and Guignol,
It's funny, you know,,,
I've always wanted to do some kind of show
with both skating and puppetry,
Oh? Uh, me too!
No kidding,
Wait, so you live in Paris now?
I could give you my contact info, if you want,
YES!
Was it good?
Oh, Uh-huh,
It was fine,
So, you work near here, right?
Yup, just around the corner, for the Banc Francilienne
You work at a bank?
Isn't that boring?
Yes, Life-threateningly,
But I mean,,, you can't skate your whole life, you know?
And besides,,,
,,,it was a sensible time for me to quit,
I'm not getting any younger, after all,
Well, so, uh,,,
What should we do, for a skating show with puppets?
Honestly, I don't know,
I really like the concept,
but I'm not really sure what it would look like,
Maybe like a ballet,
A ballet?
You know what, in that case,
we should work with my girlfriend, Trina,
She's an incredible ballet dancer,
Sorry,,, who?
My girlfriend, Trina, A dancer,
She's American, too, You guys should meet!
You okay?
Yes,
Excuse me,
- Attack! - Killed you! - Got you!
Girls - stop it!
Stop it,
What happened!?
Is it your lip? What happened? Show me,,,
It wasn't me, it wasn't my fault!
Show me, is it your lip?
I didn't do anything, it wasn't my fault! It wasn't me!
Show me, show me,,,
It wasn't my fault,,,
What's going on? Angie? What happened to her?
- It wasn't me, I didn't do anything! - What's wrong, Angelique? Show me,
- It wasn't my fault! - Show me, show me your lip,
It's okay,,,
It wasn't me, it wasn't my fault,,,
Claire, don't stress, this is not your fault, okay?
These things happen,
Can I do anything?
No, really, don't worry yourself,
Just go home and get some rest, okay?
Go on, Have a good night,
It wasn't my fault, wasn't me,
Claire's the one who did it,
Is that true, my little Angie?
What did that mean old Claire do to you?
Did Claire do this?
I have a candy for you!
But! --
,,,did Claire hit you?
Yeeeees!
Yes!
Dirty Bitch,
Dirty bitch, dirty bitch, dirty bitch!
Girls!
Girls, watch your language!
Girls,,,
Are you feeling all right, Claire?
Uh,
yes,
Are you happy here with us?
Sure,
She's not happy here,
Yes, but that's not enough, We'll need something more,
Bernard, call Khadija,
Khadija!
Maybe she'll give us something interesting,
Khadija, we want to speak to you about Claire,
about Claire,
Do you understand?
Often you see Claire with the children, right?
Is she good with them, or is she bad with them?
Good, she is good,
Bad, You mean bad, right?
No, she is good,
She's good always, Madam,
She is, uh,
beautiful with them,
Maybe she does not understand,
Bernard, you explain to her,
Nevermind, I'll do it,
Is she ever, mm, lazy?
Like maybe she ignore the children sometimes?
No,
No, Madam,
she do, uh, the games with the children,
She is much nice,
She, uh, much im,
uh, imagination,
Imagination,,, Too much imagination, maybe?
She imagines too much?
She imagines too much,
Works for me,
Uh, so you say that she's maybe a little stupid,
like a, a little slow, head always in the clouds,
Yes?
- Yes? - Yes?
Uh,
yes,
Excellent, thank you Khadija,
You know, Mom, she's a nice girl,
but a little too stupid to handle things,
It's a shame!
Yes, yes,
A shame,
She'll have to go,
Yes, we'll have to find a way to get rid--
Claire, Good evening,
Oh, we have decided my mother will supervise you now
while you do the babysitting,
So it's not too hard for you,
Well, have a good night!
Are you depressed, Claire?
Angelique,
My love,
My baby!
You are my star!
You too!
Come give Claire a great big kiss,
Hmm,
Hm,
Oh my,
Angelique, this is not very polite,
You see, she's just a little baby,
she doesn't know what she does,
You're Grandmaman's little,,,
Do you want some tea, Grandmaman?
Yes, thank you so much!
A sip for?
Maman,
Very good!
And a sip for?
Papa, Yes,
a sip for Papa,
How about a sip for
Claire?
No, she's a dirty bitch!
Oh my,
you don't like Claire?
No?
Well,
all right then, we won't do sip for Claire,
No tea for that nasty Claire,
Nasty Claire,
And, uh, how about
a sip of tea for? - Grandmaman,
Okay, let's go over the house rules,
As you know, I'm a huge germophobe,
and you've been sleeping in a chambre de bonne,
and chambres de bonne probably have nits,
So I do ask that you stay a minimum of 10 feet away from me,
or 3,05 meters in local measurements,
Wait, so nits can't travel more than 10 feet?
Claire, do not put the fear of God into me,
Well, can I get a pillow at least?
Okay,
But I will be asking you to sleep in protective headgear,
Night, Claire,
Goodnight,
PETRUSHKA - Adaptation for Skater and Puppeteer,
St, Petersburg, Russia, The 1830s,
A carnival,
Three puppets: a ballerina, a Moor, and Petrushka, a clown,
A magician called the Charlatan
brings them to life,
Petrushka falls in love with the ballerina,
but she loves the Moor,
Petrushka is angry and hurt,
and he challenges the Moor to a duel,
But the Moor kills him,
So Petrushka's ghost floats up and he curses the Charlatan
for bringing him to life,
before he dies,
again,
So you'll perform it with me?
You'll be Petrushka on skates,
I'll be all the other characters as puppets,
It'll be perfect,
So you're in?
Um,
Well, Claire, uh,,,
It's a great story
and I'm sure you'll find a skater for your project,
But I don't see why it needs to be me,
What!?
There are so many other skaters in Paris,
More talented ones, for that matter,
- Y-you don't get it,
- No, no, no, Claire, you don't get it,
but that's only because you don't know
anything about skating,
Just take my word for it, okay?
I'm, I'm past my prime,
I had my 15 minutes and now no one wants
or needs to see me on the ice anymore,
I, I'm old news,
Okay, but you wouldn't understand-
Will you shut up!
Enjoy,
Thank you,
- Claire, what I'm trying- - Nah-uh-uh,
Say one more word and I will throw this scone in your face,
Look,
You can't see yourself,
but I can,
And I can see there is no one else out there like you,
Maybe you don't know how much talent you have,
but I think that you do
and you try to deny it,
You try to forget what it was like to be on the ice
because it's too painful to remember,
Instead, you've chosen a more manageable kind of pain,
the kind of pain you feel every day
at la Banque Francilienne,
That kind of pain you can handle,
It's the white noise in between the coffee machine
and the snack machine and the restroom-
- But- - Ah, I am speaking,
It's hard to explain, but
when you were on the ice,
you were like this human sunbeam,
or like a big beating heart on skates,
And now you're trying to erase it because you're hurt,
Really, who can blame you?
Well, you,
Yes,
me,
I blame you,
Because some of us need to see a sunbeam
every once in a while,
Some of us need to feel a beating heart,
Some of us need you,
Uh, can I talk?
You know, I'm lucky to have a job,
I mean, in this economy, it's a privilege to be,,,
You know, you're right,
All I do at work is go to the restroom,
I pee like 20 times a day,
I pee all day long,
I think it's just to give me an activity to do,
I don't have anything anymore,
So you'll be Petrushka for me?
Okay, let's take - Okay,
- a look at the next scene,
So Petrushka tries to win the heart of the ballerina,
but she isn't interested in him,
What?!
She's not interested in me?!
Well, we'll just see about that,
Give me that,
Look
deep into my Russian eyes,
Oh my God,
You will love me,
Say that you vant me,
I love you, Kiss me, you fool,
You see? Child's play,
Bravo, Give me that,
- Okay, okay, - Let's take it from the top,
You are trying to impress her, but she runs away from you,
And then you curse the portrait of the Charlatan
who brought you to life,
Okay, okay,
I'm going to improvise a bit,
Can you put on the music?
You had your 15 minutes,
and now no one needs or wants to see you on that ice,
You are old news,
What are you doing!?
I don't know, Claire,,,
I,,, thought I was done with all this,
I mean, I have a life, a job,,,
I don't want to do stuff like this,
What is this?
It's my sock,
It is more than that,
It is a hostage,
I'm taking your pretty little sock home,
and I'm going to keep it until you get back out on the ice
and start performing again,
You know, I don't give a shit about an old sock,
And about performing?
I suppose you don't give a shit about that either?
You know, you're going to have that sock forever,
You promised me,
I trusted you, don't let me down,
Prove yourself worthy of your sock,
Thibaut,
You look happy,
So you're, uh, interested in the festival?
Uh, yeah,
Um, maybe, um,
You, too?
No,
not at all,
You're really charming, you know?
Charming, and a little shy,
Shy?
Yes, there's something about you,
like you're not very self-assured,
It's really lovely, uh, poetic even,
Do you, uh, know the French word, mm, farouche?
Uh, no,
It means shy, but it also means wild,
And if I'm not mistaken, you're a little bit of both,
I don't know,
Oh, sure you do,
Deep down you're a tigress,
We both know it,
Does it bother you that I can read your mind?
Um,
Hey, Rafal!
You gonna come rehearse with us or not?!
Uh, hang on, be right there!
See you,
Tigress,
You know what your fatal flaw is, don't you?
No, please, tell me,
I'm getting to that, Claire,
Please be patient,
Your problem is, you're not sexual enough,
A guy just called me a tigress,
and now you're telling me it's because I'm not sexual?
Exactly, Claire,
He was using reverse psychology on you
to turn you into a sexual being,
Only it didn't work,
However, my PowerPoint on the subject should do the trick,
You prepared a PowerPoint?
Shh it's loading,
Now, there are two types of people in this world,
the non-sexual,
that's you,
and the sexual,
ta-da,
So now we ask, how do we turn this into this?
It's simple, you wanna be a tigress?
You have to think like a tigress,
The first step is to develop a nice sexually arousing growl,
Now growl for me,
No,
Do it or I'll scream,
More oomph!
I need more, Claire,
More!
I'm not sexually excited, guess I'll read a magazine,
Hey, this is in French,
Nope, frigid!
Dry as the Sahara,
Ooh,
Oop, nope, I was ovulating,
Hey, that one was good!
Our rehearsals are so nice,
Yeah, A little too nice, maybe,
What do you mean?!
Oh, um, just that, uh,,,
It's cool just having something nice to do,
I could get used to it,
Oh, check this out,,,
I'm going to submit us for the festival,
You and me,
You and me,,,
And do not forget, you have to do this with me
because I still have your sock,
Yes, I know, I know,
See ya,
Hey dude,
that wasn't your Asian chick,
No, no,,, that was a colleague,
We were rehearsing,
Ah, yes, "rehearsing,"
So, how many times have you banged your "colleague"?
Shut up, Maxime,
What, you don't want to?
No, of course I don't want to! Why would I want to?
See, you do want to!
Want to what?
To bang his other girlfriend, of course,
All right, Gotta go,
So long!
What's Maxime talking about?
God knows,
He's insane,
Hello, my name is Claire Burkhardt,
I'm American, I live in Paris,
and I wanted to drop off these,,,
No, Not possible,
Can I at least tell you
what my question is first?
Fine, if you must,
I wanted to leave these flyers,
For my puppetry services,
You want parents to hire you
for birthday parties - is that right?
Yes, exactly,
Well, I'm not going to tell you no,
But, frankly,
you'll have a hard time getting hired in Paris,
because the thing is, Parisian parents --
- - they have standards, you see,
But I'm not going to tell you no,
That said --
I'm going to put your flyers at the very back of the store,
behind everything, where no one will see them,
Okay?
Thanks,
Anytime, my dear,
And good luck, eh?
Because --
It's not easy to get hired in Paris,
Did you always wanna be a puppeteer?
No, not necessarily,
Sometimes I wanted to be a writer, sometimes a musician,
I just wanted to create my own universe however I could,
The universe of Rafal
or the Raphaelite universe,
Get it?
Raphaelite has a double meaning there,
because Raphael, or Rafal,,,
You see, there was once a great painter
by the name of Raphael,
It was different for me,
I always wanted to- The Raphaelite universe,
I just always wanted to tell stories however I could,
one way or another,
Do you like stories?
Oh, yeah,
Um, I have a friend who is a figure skater,
and he can tell the most beautiful stories on ice
without saying a single-
You know who's beautiful?
In fact, his name is Thibaut Baudet, the figure skater,
Maybe you've heard of him?
Mm, don't think so,
He's amazing,
You know who's amazing?
Wait, why?
You're beautiful,
You're just so beautiful,
I, I can't stop thinking about you,
Really?
Since the day I met you,
Y-you're allowed to kiss back, you know?
You're even allowed to open your mouth,
You learn fast, little tigress,
What?
It,
it's a little complicated,
Complicated,
what do you mean, uh, complicated?
You've never done it?
Wow,
Why?
Because no one wanted to have sex with a girl
who has 45 puppets on her bed,
Well, um,
personally, I'd call that a turn on,
I knew I liked you,
Oh my God, oh my God, oh, that was amazing,
There's more,
right?
What's wrong beautiful?
Why are you looking like that?
It's nothing,
Nothing at all,
Claire, question,
if somebody serves you a suggestively shaped croissant,
do you have the right to sue?
Because according to my attorney,,,
Oh dear God,
What happened to you?
Some birthday kid's mom put a clown wig on me,
That's what,
You know I have coulrophobia, or a fear of clowns,
due to the time a clown bit me in the wild,
Please remove it,
Give me a sec, will you?
An army of rabid moms stuck this to my head
with France's national supply of bobby pins,
Also, my day was fantastic, thank you for asking,
Mademoiselle?
Yes, you,
Ze puppet person, come here at once!
Oui, madame?
You will wear this clown wig or else, s'il vous plait,
I don't need it, I'm here to do a puppet show,
Ah, but you do not understand,
the birthday girl is my tiny snot of a daughter
and she insists that you wear it,
Wear it or die!
Tres bien,
Kids, come here!
The clown lady is here to do face painting!
What is that on my cheek?
A corpse?
No, it's a butterfly,
No,
I wanted
a good butterfly!
Oh, la la la la!
We are very disapproving!
As punishment, we will let our children run around
and scream while you try to perform,
and then we will criticize your performance,
which we did not watch!
And
scene,
Is there more?
No, don't say that,
Give me that,
You know, it's funny,
all my life I've only ever done one thing,
Every single day, repeat and repeat and repeat,
And I was pretty damn good at that thing,
And now it turns out I can't do anything else,
It's like I was just dropped in the middle of the ocean
without a lifeboat,
And so when Claire asked me to skate again,
I felt like I could just swim back, a million miles back
just to, to skate and, and feel like myself again,
You know what I mean?
Yep, Mm-hmm,
Did you hear me?
Sure, skating, repetitive, million miles away,
Thank you,
Oh, right, The puppets,
Excuse me,
Here,
And, um, sorry about everything,
No need to be sorry, Monsieur Petrushka,
I submitted us for the puppetry festival --
- - and they've selected us,
Here,
Unbelievable,
Why are you forcing me to do this?
Why can't you just let it go?
Excuse me?
I, I already told you, I'm not interested anymore,
But y-you were,
Yes, I was, and now I'm not anymore,
Is that, is that so hard to understand?
I mean, w-why do this?
Why, why, what's the point
of forcing me? - I'm not trying to force you,
I'm trying to help you, that's what you do for friends,
But we're not friends!
We-we're colleagues, we know each other,
Claire, you,,,
,,,you think we're close, because you know my performances,
But the "me",,,
The Thibaut on the ice and the Thibaut in front of you
aren't the same person,
Okay?
You know, I,,, I have my own private life,
And you're not part of it,
You don't need to take care of me, Claire,
You'd do better to concentrate on you,
Okay? I don't need your help,
Go do something that has meaning for you,
You mean like you with the bank?
Claire, I, I, I don't mean to hurt you,
You're not hurting me,
If the ice you wasn't the real you,
then you had me fooled,
If you see him, tell him I miss him,
Goodbye, Petrushka,
I don't get it, I thought he and I were getting along,
You think maybe he's afraid?
Afraid of what?
Who knows?
Guys are just fearful creatures,
And then they try to cover it up by acting like assholes,
Could be,
Anyway, lucky for you, it's not your problem,
I don't know,
It's just so hard to let go,
I got too invested
in the show,
Fortunately, you have other things in your life,
Yeah,
I guess
he's just scared,
You know, it's ironic, the name Thibaut,
it means brave,
Funny, huh?
Yeah,
Funny,
So did you like it?
Yeah, it was great,
Really?
Yeah, the music, the acting,
it was perfect,
I'm surprised to hear you say that,
Why?
Because it was mediocre, and that's being generous,
It was amateurish,
The problems are obvious to an educated person,
Well, anyway, it was nice,
Nice, interesting concept you have of nice,
Maybe one day you'll understand why that wasn't good cinema,
Okay,
What do you mean, okay?
I mean, I don't care, Rafal,
We can agree to disagree, but I don't wanna fight about it,
Are you sure about that?
I don't get it, Rafal,
You just want us to fight
for nothing?
I don't know how to tell him it doesn't feel good anymore,
None of this makes sense, All he wants to do is fight,
And at first, I thought it was because he was upset,
and then I realized it's turning him on,
It's all just to have sex,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Claire,
Back up, back up,
You had sex?
- Yeah, - Without consulting me?
It just kinda happened,
But I never got to give you your sexual education,
Nevermind, we'll start now,
Okay, the first rule in having sex is: don't have sex,
Little late,
Listen, Claire, you may not know it,
but you are an innocent baby marshmallow,
And I don't think you understand the gravity here,
Do you realize what happens when a man
sticks his thing in you?
The answer is germs, mega germs,
Now, I'm about to tell you something so gross,
so disgusting, you're going to want to cover your ears,
I'll cover mine, too,
Okay,
So you know condoms, right?
Yes, Julia, I know condoms,
Could we maybe- - So the thing about condoms
is when a guy puts one on, it covers his one thing, right?
But it doesn't cover his other two things,
- Testicles, - I'm sorry, Claire,
I wasn't emotionally prepared for that,
but, yes, it doesn't cover them,
That would be impossible and painful,
So? Men should learn to live with pain,
It toughens the loins,
Now, it's obviously too late for you,
who have exposed yourself to all manners of ball germs,
or, in medical terms, testicooties,
But, for those as yet un-besmirched,
I've made a miracle product,
the likes of which shall revolutionize the sex industry,
See, it covers the entire leg so not one of those
icky man-germs will touch your precious skin,
And for those who live on the wild side,
not that I endorse that sort of thing,
I've developed the lederhosen variety,
Good God,
Say what you will,
but I plan to make a killing at Oktoberfest,
I don't know, I, I think people want sex to be fun,
Wait, sex is supposed to be fun?
What's wrong?
I don't know,
I think I might be a bad person,
What makes you say that?
I think I made a really bad mistake today,
Saying no to the puppet show, I mean,
Oh, really? So you think I gave you bad advice?
I don't know,
All I did was tell you the truth,
Your skating days are behind you,
you know that, - Yes, I know that, yes,
Yes, but I don't know, I, I like,
I liked working with Claire,
It just gave me something that was missing from my life,
you know?
Wow,
Well, sorry to hear that,
Did you ever just sort of not appreciate somebody,
like not knowing how much they cared about you,
or how much you were hurting them,
even though it was right there in front of you?
Gosh, I don't know, Thibaut,
what with spending my days overworking my body,
making myself crazy for a dance company
that sees women as disposable,
Then coming home to a boyfriend
who stares through me as if I'm a hologram,
That definitely takes up all my mental space these days,
But now that I think about it,
definitely go find your sweetie-pie Claire
and let her know she has been missing from your life,
Did you want any soup?
Fuck!
Claire,
Claire, wake up,
What? Are you okay?
I don't know, Claire,
I'm just overwhelmed by this feeling that you don't love me,
Of course, I love you,
I don't think so, You don't seem sure,
I love you a lot, Rafal, but it's 4 am,
let's just go to sleep,
I can't bear you turning your back against me,
Switch sides of the bed with me,
so I can have you facing me,
What?
You take my side and I take yours,
You have to face me,
If you turn your back to me, it means you don't love me,
But that's crazy,
Switch sides with me, Claire,
You'd do it if you love me,
Switch sides!
Tha-that's better,
Stop! Girls, stop!
No, no, no, no, no,
Give me that! No! Stop!
May I have your attention, please,,,
I DON'T LIKE THIS PUPPET SHOW!
Will you just-
Give me that! Give me,,,
Give, give me that! Give me that!
Will you just give, give me!
No!
Give that!
I hate you, you little shits!
Who was that then?
I brought my own stuff to throw, too,
You're a good friend,
I'm ready when you are,
Ready,
No more,
No more!
No more! I can't believe I just-
- Hi-ya! - Okay, Julia, you really
don't have to- - Hi-ya!
Hi-ya!
Okey dokey,
So how are you getting to the airport?
Please, tell me you're not taking a bus, buses have crud,
Crud,
Yes, Claire! Crud,
One time, I read about a girl who went on a bus
and she contracted bus crud, and then she died,
and then it was made into a Lifetime movie,
Relax, I scheduled a car for30,
and I'll be back to get my luggage on the way,
Oh my God, Claire,, what about skater boy?
Did you tell him you're leaving?
No, he hates me, plus I'll probably never see him again,
Uh,
Hi,
Uh,,, how are you?
Okay,
Maybe,
I'm actually about to leave France,
Really?
I'm going back to the US,
For good?
Yeah,
Oh,
Actually, Claire, I wanted to say,,,
,,,You were saying?
,,,I forgot, But, um,,,
I wanted to say have a good trip,
and,,,
,,, good luck,,,
And, um,,,
,,,have, have a good trip, um,,,
Actually, do you want to take a walk?
Yeah,
Yeah, I'd like that,
Please,
So what are you up to these days?
Oh,,, nothing much, really,
In a few days I'm taking Trina to Portugal,
for the weekend,
We need some time together,
It'll do us good,
,,, maybe,
You know, I still have your sock,
Well, I did say you'd have it forever,
Claire, actually, I have to say,,,
I,
I wanted to say,
I'm sorry for being an asshole,
If I cared less, I would,
I would probably let you be closer, you know?
But you'll never be far from me, you understand?
Phew, okay, that's enough of that,
Um,
I,
I can't forget what you say, even if I want to,
How do you like, um, how do you say, um,
une fee-marraine?
A fairy godmother?
Oui! Voila!
You're like a very annoying fairy grandmother,
Oh my God, that's my airport cab,
Goodbye, Petrushka,
,,, achieving more than two million euros in turnover,
So if they can finish out this round of fundraising
before the end of January,
I think they'll bring their capital to fifty million eur,,,
,,, you okay, Thibaut?
Hm?
Um,
Yes, Yeah, of course,
Will you excuse me a minute?
It's funny what moves some people and not others,
For some people, it's a meteor shower,
For others, it's a math problem,
For some, it's the night sky,
And for others, it's the memory of a girl
staring at you in the soul and saying, "Do better,"
And sometimes, the best you can do
is to put that memory in a box,
then leave it there,
And put yourself first for a change,
Because what if the light you saw in someone else
was really your own light reflected back at you?