They thought they could send me away,
It's bout time the Guinness family got what's coming to them,
Good luck, brother,
,,,and I will work night and day to make Dublin a city
that is the envy of the world!
Sir Arthur Guinness,
Your speech for the rally, kind sir,
delivered with the humility of a god come to earth,
his wonders to perform,
What the fuck are all these pictures?
You see,,, in America,
they have discovered that likenesses of the candidate
serve to connect the voter more with the man they are electing,
Ahh, And these pictures, these,,,
- Likenesses? - Like,,, likenesses,
- Mm-hmm, - Yes,
They tend to show the candidate as perhaps a more
perfect creature than he actually is,
Well,,, a more perfect creature doesn't exist,
That's too kind,
Uh, if you will, just,,, In this likenesses over here,,,
Um,,,
I have a beard,
So in 1848,,, yeah?
An 11-year-old girl from Chautauqua County, New York,
saw a depiction of Abraham Lincoln on a poster,
Now, she wrote to the great man
suggesting he grow a beard to make himself more appealing to voters,
He did grow a beard, He did get fucking elected,
And he kept the beard for the rest of his life,
Mm,
- Our election is in five weeks, - You could have an electable beard in two,
"An electable beard"?
You see,,, Hey,
Look at me,
This is not New York,
The election rally is in three days' time,
And I am not Abraham Lincoln,
There will be no whistles, no bugles, no parades,
Well, I,,, I've actually already invested in the whistles, so,,,
Fuckin' bonehead,
What the fuck are you doing back in Ireland?
I'm here to see if the rumors I'm hearing in New York about my sister are true,
So where is your man now?
The man who came in here and,,, and took what he wanted
and then married one of his own,
That man is the reason why you are free,
Now get out,
Ellen, you made a mistake,
- I told you to get out, - He reeled you in with his promises and--
No,
I invited him
into that bed,
Now your heart is broken,
I've explained my actions to myself,
I don't need to explain myself to you,
I came here to warn ya,
I didn't come here to hurt ya,
There's an election coming,
And the Brotherhood will play their part,
Are you threatening a violent action during this election, brother?
What a monster
this love must be
for you to,,, walk
so willingly across the lines,
You can love someone and still love our cause without killing for it,
For God's sake, Ellen,
This is our cause,
Right here in my hand,
A bullet for who?
You mad little boy, No matter what instructions they've given you,
please, please don't do anything mad,
I need you alive,
The days to come are filled with danger, Stay here where it is safe,
Yeah,
I am the underworld
The one you want to leave
A frail democracy
Benign treaty
Courageously foreseen
Dreams
Collusion lines the walls,,,
Edward,
I had no intention of breaking the silence between us,
but I am very worried about my brother,
And maybe you should be worried about your brother, as well,
Ah, Edward,
I fear you've missed the best bit,
I fear I am arriving bringing with me,,, the worst bit,
I have received intelligence from a very reliable source,,,
that trouble is coming,
I've sent Rafferty to find out more, Come on,
- Any news? - I've been all over the city,
No one will admit to the fact that Cochrane is even here,
Which leads me to ask you once again,
who is it that told you he is back in Dublin in the first place?
- Oh, come on, Edward, I know who it is, - So why do you ask?
It's your job to find out where he is and why he came back to Dublin,
- New batch, Mr, Guinness, - Thank you,
If they have sent Cochrane back here all the way from New York,
then it is something special that they are planning,
Will you give us a minute, please, Shane?
Cochrane has a grudge against the family,
My guess is he volunteered for this,
Volunteered for what?
An attempt on your brother's life,
No, Our,,, Rafferty?
Our philanthropy in this city
has brought us both Catholic and Liberal supporters,
And that is what your enemies fear the most,
Kindness to make the status quo bearable,
By the way, that bottle is a little sweet,
Yes,
What harm is it if I go to your woman and,,, and,,,
She is not my fucking woman,
And you will not go,
I will go,
Make sure my brother stays at home, Let's get this sorted, Rafferty!
Too sweet,
Your gentleman friend is here,
- Don't worry, I don't want to come in, - Good, 'cause I don't want you to come in,
I will get my coat, and you can meet me downstairs,
You could help me peg some clothes,
Will these clothes even dry in the dark?
Your brewery gives off less black smoke at night,
So in the morning, there will be a chance
my clothes will,,, be dry and still white,
How is the campaign?
- Ellen,,, - Don't come close, please,
I'm sorry,
Why don't you just ask me the question you came here to ask me?
I don't know where my brother is,
I'm no longer trusted with their secrets, I'm no longer trusted by,,, either side,
I came here for two reasons,
To ask you that question and to answer one of my own,
I now have the answer,
Ellen, when you opened the door to your room just now, I realized,,,
I still love you,
You should go,
She'll be wondering where you are,
You said you were working late at the office, so,,,
I thought I would come and keep you company,
Where were you?
It was humiliating,
Look, I went to her because I need information,
I know,
Potter told me the situation,
Was she of any use?
- No, - No,,,
I,,, I didn't go into her room,
Oh, bravo,
Excuse me, Mr, Guinness,
It seems like no one in this family can be with the one they truly love,
Does that include you?
I love the work that I do,
I love the fact that now we're married, I can change things for the better,
But,,,
my ability to love another human being is something I question,
You are close to being that person,
You're close to being that person too,
But I'm not that person,
All compromises are imperfect,
But an imperfection we can live with, yes?
I went out and bought pins,
We're getting through an inordinate amount of pins for pinning up our plans,
You could measure our virtue by weighing our pins,
You actually went into a shop and bought the pins yourself with money?
With coins,
No gloves,
I made a joke about the weather,
The people of Dublin
love me,
Anne,,,
Guess why you're here,
- Because love is blind, - Yes, love is blind,
I am not,
The people of Dublin are not,
I think we've been discreet,
Registering for a room in the Imperial Hotel
under the name of Mr, and Mrs, Guinness,
- I was drunk, - I was not,
A hotel bill as big as a working man's annual salary,
involving five bottles of champagne,
two bottles of brandy, caviar,
And, Ben, exactly how did you break the antlers of a mounted stag's head?
Ben took the stag's head from the wall, and,,, it was time to rut,
I ran at her and,,,
,,,missed,
We are in love, Annie,
Well, it seems you both are incurable,
As am I,
So we must all accept the limitations that our inflictions impose upon us,
May I have,,,
If you promise to be discreet from now on,
the family will accept you as Benjamin's official mistress,
The life of an official Guinness mistress is not unpleasant,
Is this Edward's idea?
Mine and Aunt Agnes's and Dodo's,
We have appointed ourselves
as official guardians of the family's reputation,
Because right now, something very serious is happening,
What once was just a brewery has now become a symbol in this city,
and we represent the Guinness name,
Whatever happens next, the family must endure,
So we need friends,
We need Arthur to be elected,
We need our philanthropy to be accepted,
and we need both sides of the Irish divide to see us as a bridge,
We have enemies with bombs and guns,
We have enemies with Bibles under their arms,
So we must all be united,
Your brother's carriage is just pulling up, sir,
You know, Byron Hedges suggested I grow a beard
to make me look more like Abraham Lincoln,
You might remind Mr, Hedges that Abraham Lincoln was assassinated,
Ahh,,,
You've heard?
There's a plot and a man with a gun,
Everyone knows,
Everyone's worried for you,
Everyone but me,
- I'm worried about my wife, - Yes,
Potter, when was the, uh, whiskey decanter last filled?
Early last evening, sir,
Ah, yes,
- I had guests, - What guests?
Doubt, uncertainty,
But not fear, he says,
It's not the fear of a bullet that's making you empty the whiskey decanter?
Well?
Well, um,,,
my wife is in London, visiting her sisters,
and between trips to the theater and to her sisters, she,,,
- Sorry, what time is it? - Just gone midday,
- The appointment was for 11:30, - Oh, of course,
The problem, too, will just be gone,
"My wife has gone to London, Mr, Rafferty,"
"Do you understand? She's visiting her sisters, Mr, Rafferty,"
- "That'll be all, Mr, Rafferty," - Just gone midday and you're drunk,
The House of Guinness is riven with deceit,
But I could not pass off his bastard as my heir,
Shut up,
This is messy,
No, no, We have work to do,
Okay? I have a broken heart, So what?
We have important work to do,
Now, come on, I need you to be strong,
Saw your sisters in London? They were well?
They were the talk of Chelsea,
And you saw a show?
An American Lady by Byron,
Was it any good?
I wasn't really paying attention,
You see, it was the night before,
Mm, I was very frightened,
Yes, but,,,
in the end,
there was,,, there was no need for you to be frightened,
There was,
you know,
There was cause to be frightened,
because the next day,,,
It was not,,,
It was very lonely,
I'm sorry,
I felt very alone,
I should have come with you,
They wouldn't have allowed you to stay,
It was just a little surgery,
Just the doctor
and I,
And briefly, the other--
Olivia, it was the best doctor on Harley Street,
Oh, I imagine he is,
Maybe when you were lonely, it wasn't me that you wanted,
- I think I'll go to bed early tonight, - Yeah?
The man you probably wanted asked if he could see you tonight,
Because I'm kind to everyone but myself, I said yes,
He's in the library, pretending to prepare leaflets,
It's okay, I know,
You don't have to love me because I love you,
Love?
So sad and odd, isn't it?
You go to the library, pretend to prepare leaflets,
and I will go to bed and pretend to sleep,
Go,
But remember, you are my wife,
He said you asked if you could see me?
I wanted to see if you're all right,
I'm not,
I've been concerned,
I've discovered I'm completely alone when I'm not with you,
Everything is just an act on a stage when I'm not with you,
So they took our baby,
No, not that word,
London was always lit up, It was exhausting,
Well, you probably need to sleep,
I won't sleep
unless your arms are around me,
When I wake tonight in a nightmare, which I know I will,
I will need you close to me,
My husband said he does not object if we go to bed and have sex,
But he does object if we go to bed and do not have sex,
because that means a relationship has begun,
You sleep,
I will watch over you,
I'm very afraid that I am in love with you,
Do not be afraid,
I am in love with you too,
,,,forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those
who trespass against us,
Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil,
Amen,
All the boys on the FÁS course All the boys on the dole
So I blow my whistle,
and the merriment begins,
Merriment?
Yeah! Six men dressed in green, six men dressed in orange,
Byron, where is this going?
They have hats that are black, the color of,,,
Guinness,
Porter,
And they follow you, do they?
Yeah, from tavern to tavern, picking up men along the way,
And this is still the Conservative Party campaign, correct?
You still want me to get you elected, correct?
Which he will, Arthur,
And what of your,,, other research?
So I made inquiries with former associates in Dublin,
They're old friends of me father,
I've paid particular men to be in particular places
when meetings are held, Now,,,
Obviously, this time no one knows anything,
You say the name Cochrane,
and they fall silent like Carthusian monks,
But I know the looks on their faces,
No idea when or where an attempt will be made, but we're taking care of it,
Even so, I'm still not afraid,
If the bullet flies,
what a life I leave behind,
Brother, don't speak like that,
I've realized something,
I'm brave,
- Who would have guessed? - Me,
I would've guessed,
Rafferty will find Cochrane,
Let's see,
Where's Cochrane?
Potter said you had business,
Important business,
I want my father to witness because he will heartily approve,
Of what?
We made a deal, and you have broken the conditions of that deal,
When we drew up our marriage contract,
you demanded the right to fuck and forget whomsoever you wanted,
And I fucked but neglected to forget, Is that it?
Yes,
You could make love,,,
but not love,
And so is the contract nullified? Will lawyers be informed?
That is up to you,
You can,
if you wish,,,
leave with him,
You can leave, but you and he would be on foot
because there would be no carriage,
He would be unemployed, of course, and you would be returned
to the financial condition you were in before we signed our contract,
Your new man would be unemployable across the whole country,
The reason
for your new situation
would be known throughout the whole city,
My dishonor,
Your shame,
Add to all this the fact that my most senior employee is,
as a consequence of his feelings,
rather debilitated and unfit for my purposes,
In spite of this contractual breach,,,
both your contracts could continue as before,
with conditions altered,
See,,,
intimacy
between you two will be forbidden,,,
to prevent a repeat of the breach
and to prevent any further accidents,
In that case,,,
I accept the altered conditions of our agreement,
Very good,
I told him you need to speak to him,
- When? - Now,
- Not now, - Now!
I am in the midst of a campaign, We need to get this done,
I need you
on my arm,
smiling,
Um,,,
There's a carriage waiting outside to take you home,
In future, I will always remember to forget,
Yes,
Everything is as you wish,
And always will be,
It is a great relief to me
that I will never pass on this burden that you have passed down to me,
Of all the money
That e'er I spent
I spent it in good company
And of all the harm
That e'er I've done
Alas, it was to none but me,,,
- I said five minutes, - More than enough,
- Send him, - Yes, madam,
For want of wit
To memory now I can't recall
So fill to me
The parting glass,,,
Potter,
Go and do something in a room far away,
Yes, madam,
And close the door,
Yes, madam,
Of course, there are eyes upon us,
Potter will go and find some place to observe,
But they can't hear us if we speak very softly,
Except you will not speak, You will just nod and look sad,
I am sad,
I've been instructed to tell you
that we must never ever be together in that way again,
But I've decided,,,
I must be quick, so I will be brief,
I have a cousin who is a devil, but I can trust him,
He has a property in Donnybrook,
- Olivia, I-- - Just look fucking sad,
I will claim to have found a new distraction,
A man who entertains me like a Guinness mistress, No one,,,
need know that that is actually you,
- We will meet on Wednesdays, - One day,
Yes, One day a week at first,
What I was going to say is,
one day, we will be together,
I will agree to sneak around their fucking bigotry for a while,
But one day,
we will be together,
Now go,
Look sad,
I am sad,
He said I used to be indecisive
Now I'm not sure
Is tucked into His smasual awkward pocket
Etcetera instead of her, I'm younger
I said I never really liked it Till you said that,,,
We need a bit more fucking urgency in this room, please, yeah?
In five hours, Arthur Guinness will be standing on this stage,
And your Conservative Member of Parliament, Arthur Guinness,
The future,,, of our great city--
- Arthur, Arthur, Way too much, - Sorry, Yes,
,,,of our great city is in the balance,
Do we move forward with the times,
or do we sink back into the "miered" prejudices?
- Mired, - Mired, Thank you,
Do we move back into the mired prejudices of the past?
When you look upon me,
you see no radical,
But what you do see
is a man whose mind is,,,
oh, my mind is a,,, is a man whose mind is open to,,,
Open, Yes,
- My mind is open,,, - Yes,
Fuck! What is my,,, What is my mind open to, Edward?
Open to improving the lives of all our citizens,
Thereby inferring that you'll be open to improving the lot of the Catholics,
Now, on to the part of the speech
where you put forward your new ideas regarding the legalization of sodomy,
You'll do,
I told all family members that, um,,,
just by being with you on the platform, they,,, may be putting themselves at risk,
I told them that at any moment,,,
the bullet might fly,
And?
Well, they said they wanted to be with you,
We agreed that it's important to be united against any imposition or threat,
And we are,,,
in spite of everything,
Damn it, I've decided I've got something to say to you all,
- Arthur,,, - Yes, Yes, sit, Sit,
Uh,,,
Before we set off, as elder brother, I'm gonna say a few words,
Can the emphasis please be on the word "few," Arthur?
On the day of Father's funeral, we were all gathered here in this room,
and Anne was forced to make us all hold hands like schoolchildren,
I threw whiskey in Benjamin's face, Benjamin headbutted Edward,
- I threw my head back in shock, - You loosened a tooth,
Hush, or you completely negate the point I'm about to make,
What point? It's ten minutes to,
The point is that since that day, we've all changed,,,
for the better,
Benjamin, on the day of Father's funeral, you were drunk,
Now you're slightly less drunk,
Anne,
our betterment started with you,
As you see, Arthur, in my body, I'm not better,
Yes, but by your will and insistence, you have made sure
that the Guinness name is not just remembered for beer,
but for kindness,
Edward,
it is you who has taken a success and turned it into a miracle,
An international leviathan,
Turning water, hops, and barley into gold,
And I, who,,, back then was here on sufferance,,,
What happened to a few words?
,,,can now say that there is nowhere on earth
that I would rather be than in this room,
with this family, as a part of this company,
So,,,
,,,let us just know that in this room,,,
just us,
perhaps,,,
we've made our father proud,
It may feel bad
I wanna talk with a gag If it's a bottle or bag
I wanna strike with the SAG I need the friends from it
I wanna shot in the dark I wanna make the mark
I wanna live the arc I call the ends on it
I wanna take the truth Without a lens on it
My God-given insanity It depends on it
How I feel? How I feel?
I wanna keel
Over harder than A turned up challenger
I wanna keep All your charm in a canister
Do you inspire Like the same did Salinger?
I'm the pig on the Chinese calendar
Yes!
Come on!
- Ahoy! - Here he is!
Keep it tight, boys, Keep it tight,
You're a disgrace!
Beautiful! Beautiful!
Hello, you,,,
Mwah, Mwah,
You look ravishing, Gorgeous,
Gorgeous!
And God bless you!
- I believe in you, Sir Arthur! - Yes, yes,
- With you all the way, Mr, Guinness! - Thank you, Thank you,
You look grand, Guinness,
Yes,
For Dublin!
- This is going rather well, - So far so good,
Now,
I would like you to go inside,
stand with the crowd, think no more about it,
I'm Lady Olivia of Bantry Bay,
I do not stand with the fucking crowd,
Hey, wake up!
Eyes peeled on both balconies,
Yes, sir,
Sir,,,
you're safe,
Rafferty's men are on every door,
Your coat, sir,
Ladies and gentlemen,,,
Time to shine,
,,,may I present to you,,,
,,,the Conservative candidate,,,
,,,for Dublin City,
Sir Arthur Guinness!
Move,
Move!
- I said move! - Oh,,,
People of Dublin,,,
,,,we stand here together,,,
- What are you doing here? - I wanna save my brother from the gallows,
,,,in the heart of our great city,
A city with a proud history,
If you see him, have him arrested before he can do anything,
A city,,,
And,,, keep this gun in your pocket and out of your hand,
I'm looking for him too,
If I see him, I will blow my whistle, and you and your men will come to my aid,
But you will not kill,
Our success has come through compassion
as well as thrift,
And since my father's death,
with my family united,
the Guinness Brewery has begun the business of conquering the world!
Hey! You owe me money!
And now,
I and my family will strive,,,
- Shut your mouth, - I don't know ya!
,,,to make this city
the envy of the world!
Hey, Hey!
As I speak,
the future
of our great city
hangs in the balance,
Do we move forward with the times?
Or do we sink back to the mired prejudices of the past?
When you look upon me, you see no radical,
But what you do see
is a man whose mind is open,,,
- ,,,to new ways,,, - Move!
,,,of improving the lives of all of our citizens!
One, two, three
Beer, beer, beer Tiddly beer, beer, beer
A long time ago
Way back in history
When all there was to drink Was nothin' but cups of tea
Along came a man By the name of Charlie Mops
And he invented a wonderful drink And he made it out of hops
He must have been an admiral A sultan or a king
And to his praises We shall always sing
Look what he has done for us He's filled us up with cheer
Lord bless Charlie Mops The man who invented beer, beer, beer
Tiddly beer, beer, beer,,,
The Cury's Bar, the Clancy's Pub The Hole in the Wall as well
But one thing you can be sure of It's Charlie's beer they sell
So come on all me lucky lads Eleven o'clock ye stop
For five short seconds Remember Charlie Mops
One, two, three, four, five
He must have been an admiral A sultan or a king
And to his praises We shall always sing
Look what he has done for us He's filled us up with cheer
Lord bless Charlie Mops The man who invented beer, beer, beer
Tiddly beer, beer, beer
The lovely Charlie Mops