رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال
♪ One two three four ♪
- Whoo! - Whoa!
♪ I just want to celebrate another day of living ♪
Oh, that's not good!
♪ I just want to celebrate ♪
Gah!
That's definitely not good!
Johnny boy!
Come on! Come on! Agh!
♪ So I turn the other way and I carry on ♪
♪ Anyhow ♪
Seriously? Oh, this not my day!
♪ I just want to celebrate another day of life ♪
I'm alive,
Oh, I'm alive,
I'm alive!
Oh!
- Hi, - Oh, my god,
You still work for this old fool?
Good to see you, too, Chrissy,
- Hey, Oswald, - Hello, Terry,,,
Jason,
We've met, like, fifteen times,
- Bunch of times, - Yeah,
It's good to see you again,
So, I have some bad news for you guys,
- Oh,,, - I'm sorry to say
that the doctors did all they could,
but you should say your goodbyes,
Children,
Hey, dad, Hey, buddy,
Look, I know this is probably a bad time,
but I just wanted you to know that I'm totally ready
to take over the company, uh, if you don't,
um,,, live,
Dad?
Oh, hi, oh, you poor thing,
You've been grooming me my entire life for this moment,
and I'm ready to take over the company,
Wait, I'm sorry,
I just said that I would do that,
You don't even know what the company does,
Chrissy,
You're my oldest,
Favorite,
- He didn't say favorite, - He implied,
Oswald, my son,
Less favorite,
- Male heir, - Hmm,
I haven't decided yet who's gonna take over the company,
There's something I haven't told you,
Come close,
I have another child,
- What? - What?
Balr,,,
Beaur,,,
- Oh, God, - Oh!
- Bora? - That is very loud,
Bora?
Beauregard Davis Jackson,
That's me and I am a winner,
But it wasn't always that way,
Actually, this is the end of the movie,
Let's go back to the beginning,
That's little me racing a motorbike
I built out of spare parts,
Guess who won the semifinals?
I did! Look at that!
And there's my best friends,
Mandy and Noodle,
cheering me on,
Oh, yeah, and that's Mandy's cousin Eskandar,
All I had to do is win one more race
and I'd be the champion,
Nothing could possibly go wrong now,
Oh, come on,
My fuckin' clutch cable broke in half,
If it's broke then I'm done,
Then there's Tommy,
He's one of my friends, He's got cool hair,
He tried to give me a clutch cable,
- but his dad,,, - Hey, hold on there, son,
Well, he had a different idea,
That clutch cable cost ten dollars,
I don't have any money,
Well, if I'm gonna be stuck paying for it,
my boy here is gonna ride in the finals,
So, I fixed it,
I let Tommy ride my bike and, of course,
he won on the bike I built,
And that's where I learned a very valuable lesson,
Tommy was a winner because he had money and a dad
and I was a loser because I was broke and fatherless,
That's my tractor,
I built her from the tires up,
She's about to complete a full pull,
Red, white, and blue, baby!
Whoo!
But that's not me, That's Tommy,
Yep, same Tommy,
Big mullet, even bigger asshole,
Ever since he won that race when we were kids,
We are looking at a pull-off
to settle this one, ladies and gentlemen,
And there's me, grease monkey and Tommy's head mechanic,
But this scratcher here could pay me $8,000!
But, of course, it did not,
Both drivers have 20 minutes
to report for the final pull,
This is my best bud Noodle,
People think he's slow, but I think he's well-paced,
He has a condition called IBS,
but mostly it's just diarrhea,
What'd I miss?
Tommy and Flint are centered on a pull-off,
- He's gotta race again? - Yep,
Well, it sounded like the valves were sticking,
I'll get the engine cleaner,
Where in the goddamn hell have you taken us?
This is where Phineus' other son works,
Oh, can-can you not call him that?
What, his son?
Yeah, I just,,, I'm used to being his only son,
so it's weird,
Well, he's got another son now,
He's got two sons,
I could fire you,
No, you really can't,
I've been assigned to execute the will,
Fine, Fine,
Well, can we just get on with it
so that we can get the hell out of here?
Yes, yes, uh, this is the next bit here,
Does the guy get the company or what?
It's more complicated than that, all right?
It's spelled out in steps,
Well, what are they, Jason?
I don't know! All I have is this,
this challenge for his son,
- Uh, you did it again, - Sorry,
Give me that paper! Give me the paper,
I'm gonna handle this,
Well, wait, Hold on! I've gotta,,,
Okay, Noodle, rev the engine!
Noodle, rev the,,,
What are,,,
Good God in heaven!
What's she doing?
I dunno,
- Is she,,, - No!
She's comin' right at us,
What did you do?
Nothing,
Act natural, Act natural!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hello there, Miss,
Can I help you with something?
I'm looking for the driver of this monstrosity,
That would be me,
- You're the driver? - Yeah, that's right,
We've got a pull-off in about ten minutes
if you wanna stick around and watch me pull off,
I don't know what the fuck that means,
Who's he?
Well, he's an idiot and my mechanic,
Well, he's who I'm here to see,
Okay, wait a minute now, You need a mechanic?
Because I'm actually pretty handy with a tool,
Ew, get the fuck out of my way,
Get the fuck out of my way!
Beauregard Davis Jackson?
Yes, that is my name,
Do you know who your father was?
Sore subject, but, uh, no, I never met my father,
Do you know who Phineus Davis is?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
He plays a guitar for this, uh, Drooling Banjos
over at McNeer's,
Oof, fuck no, You do this,
Well, you gave it your college try, didn't you?
Hi, Mr, Jackson, my name is Jason Wilmore,
I'm one of Phineus Davis' attorneys,
You have soft hands,
Oh, I, um, I use a lot of lotion,
Thank you,
- You say you're a lawyer? - Yes,
Okay,
Everyone was drunk that night, especially the band,
Yeah,,, No, no, no,
Phineus Davis didn't play guitar in some local band,
He was one of the richest men in the world
and he died two days ago,
Well, I didn't kill him,
if that's what you're getting at,
No one thinks you killed him, Mr, Jackson,
He was your birth father
and he may have left you some money in his will,
Well, okay, All right!
Yeah, I'll take it, uh, in a check,
or maybe small bills,
Uh, no, I'm sorry,
It's a little more complicated than that,
He wrote this letter to you,
Can I read it?
No, I can read it myself,
I know how to read,
Dear Beauregard, I have been following your life
and I think you have grown into a fine man,
Your mother and I shared a wonderful night
in the Pinkie Pizza Arcade many years ago,
You were conceived either on the Pop-A-Shot machine
or in the ball pit,
Probably a Pop-A-Shot,
He could hit like 20 free throws in a row,
Good to know,
Either way, it was a glorious beginning,
I am sorry that I abandoned you,
but I can now make it all up to you
as long as you prove that you have what it takes
to be a winner,
What the hell is this?
It means you have to win, you know?
Just maybe keep reading, unless you need a break,
Your first task is to get in that driver's seat
where you are now,
win a tractor pull event as the driver,
and you will begin your journey,
Do me proud, son, Your father, Phineus,
I'm supposed to win a tractor pull event?
Well, you have to get in the driver's seat now,
So, you have to win this tractor pull, today,
Hey, uh, Tommy?
No! No fuckin' way!
- But,,, - Bu-bu-but,,,
I don't give a good googley shit
about all this, okay?
I'm the driver, You're the fixer,
End of discussion,
Okay,
So, that's it then?
Yeah, I'm sorry, Mr, Lawyer,
but, uh, yeah, yeah, that's it,
You don't want to maybe offer this guy a,,,
Hey, buddy, why don't you let them get back to work?
Yeah,
Well, I guess we are done here then,
Nice to meet you, Mr, Jackson,
- Yeah, - I'm sorry for your loss,
Yeah, thanks for playing, Toolbox,
You're,,, do you have to,,,?
Well, you boys want to get your dick-beaters
out of your little assholes and get back to work?
Finish this baby up so I can go to the pull off,
Now, I'm gonna go help you guys out
and lighten the load,
That was a colossal waste of time,
Can we just get the hell out of here?
He's not going to drive the tractor, so let's go,
Well, I have to make sure,
Fine,
So, if we're staying, can I get a corndog?
That was wild, huh?
Yeah, whatever,
Well, it sounds like you only gotta win one race,
and you could win a lot of money,
What am I supposed to do, kill Tommy?
You don't have to kill him to stop him from racing,
Well, then what would you suggest?
Bo,,,
The green one's his precious,
I know he's in there,
You sure this will fit?
I know these shitters like the back of my hand,
It'll fit,
Yeah, but what if someone comes behind
and lets him out?
I thought of that, Read this sign,
Oh,
Did you draw that?
- Yeah, - Well, shit with a shovel,
That's pretty good,
Thanks,
Oh,,,
Oh, that hurt,
Nope, nope, take it easy, take it easy,
Let her come to you, Let her come to you,
Don't go anywhere, Bo's racing in the pull off,
Oh, holy shit!
That is a trophy winner right there,
You can do this, Bo,
You know this tractor better than Tommy does,
Plus, we built this engine from scratch,
What did Flanderson pull?
- 185 feet, - 185 feet!
That's,,, That's nothin',
This machine can crush that,
With a double load?
Don't worry about that, You've got this,
Yeah, I got this,
You're the man!
I'm the man,
Folks, we have a replacement driver
for the final pull,
Hey, somebody open this door!
Sitting in for Tommy Mullin
is local bastard child Bo Jackson,
Oh, god! Oh, shoot, was that your foot?
I'm sorry,
Oh, my god, Oh,,,
All right, so this is, uh, called, I think,
the final pull,
They already did one before,
and then he has to go longer than the guy
that just finished, I think,
Oh, my god, I could give a shit,
- I'm just trying to,,, - Would you shut up?
I thought you wanted to,,,
Like I could literally give a shit, Shut up!
Putting your mechanic
in the driver's seat for a pull off,
I hear my tractor!
I ain't seen nothing like that before,
Hey!
What the fuck just happened?
I have no idea,
You sons of bitches!
Agh! Oh, shit!
It's official, folks!
That bastard pulled 196 feet,
- I guess he won then, - That's a new pull-off record,
Huh!
Now, let's hear it one more time
for today's big winner, Bastard Jackson,
Here I am!
Just look at those dance moves, people,
I thought this was
the greatest moment of my life,
I was wrong,
A whole bunch of shit's about to happen,
Please tell me that my dad is not leaving the company
to some redneck who won a tractor race
with only one tractor in it,
No, no, no, no, It's not over,
There's a lot more to do it seems,
All right, apparently he has to podium in
four different racing events over the next three weeks
all around the country,
That may be the dumbest fucking thing
I've ever heard,
Super dumb,
And each podium finish is worth $5,000,
But if you can stand on the podium in all four events,
the reward will be more than you can even imagine,
Well, I can imagine a whole fuckin' lot,
Well, it is, honestly, a whole f-in' lot,
Huh,,,
You know, there is a motocross event in,
uh, Whitefield that we can go to next Saturday,
No, no, No, wait, wait,
You have to, um,,, here, can you,,,
Um, just,,, I'll hold this,
Mr, Davis' instructions here,
This is, uh,,, You put your thumb,,,
put your thumb on that reader
on that side like this, like I am,
I'm not putting my thumb on there,
That's-that's the only way to get the information,
Nothing's written on my thumb,
It's your,,, no, your print,
Everyone has a unique,,, just put,,,
if you would just put it there, I,,, I swear,
I've seen that on "Cops",
What just happened?
That was so cool,
Wheatland? What is that?
Wheatland, that's your first destination,
I'm guessing there's more instructions,
If you'll open the envelope, we'll see,
I can't be driving all the way to Missouri,
Bo, it's five grand if you get to the podium,
Yeah, but it's no grand if I don't,
I mean, how am I supposed to get there anyway?
What if we took mom,,, I mean Mandy's RV?
Noodle, we cannot afford to just go driving around America,
Well, it does come with $100 a day for you
and $100 for anyone on your team,
Yeah, we probably did just lose our jobs
locking him in that portable bathroom,
What happened now?
Looks like we're going to Wheatland!
Oh, wait,
We gotta get a team name first,
Uh, you're Bo,
Yeah,
- And you're Noodle, - I'm Noodle,
Bo-No?
Team Bono?
- No, that's that singer, - That's a singer,
That's a singer,
- Team Bena,,, - Ba-no-do?
- Butthole, - Boner?
- Boovie, - Boodle?
Boodle?
Well, shit yeah, that's it!
- Team Boodle! - Team Boodle!
Let's go get Mandy,
Well, they are interesting guys,
Go fuck yourself,
Eloquent, as always, I see,
- Oh, hey! - Hey,
- Hi, - What'd I miss?
Uh, kinda everything,
Okay,
We'll just go back there, okay,
I need a hot dog right now!
- Order up! - All right,
All right, have a nice day,
This is Mandy,
She grew up to be really pretty,
She also grew up to be Noodle's stepmom
when Noodle's dad decided to marry the babysitter,
All right, Mandy, here you go!
And, uh, that's Mandy's cousin, Eskandar,
You're probably not used to holding this much meat
in your little hands, Here you go,
Hey, Mandy,
What are you doing here, Noodle?
I told you never bother me at work,
Bo and I need to borrow your RV,
Oh, hi, Bo,
How's it going, Mandy?
Where y'all going in an RV?
We gotta go to Missouri,
Oh, hell no! Y'all ain't taking my rig to Missouri,
We're getting paid $100 a day each,
Are you running drugs, Noodle?
- No, - Well, forget it,
I need my rig to get back and forth to work,
Skanner, give me those beef chips!
Hold your horses!
Hey, Mandy, I've got an idea,
If you join our team, then you can come
and you get $100 a day, too,
A hundred dollars a day?
- Yeah, - For me?
He said $100 a day for each person on my team,
So if you're on the team, then you get $100,
All right, let's go,
Eskandar, we quit,
- We quit? - Yeah, come on,
I just,,, I have to get this back to them,
Hey!
Mr, Lawyer!
Now that we're going to Missouri,
what do we do next?
I don't know, All right?
Take this,
The instructions are in there I'm sure,
Okay,
Keep your panties on,
Oh, my god, Let's go,
Oh, wait, you're not coming with us,
What are you talking about?
Well, someone has to keep an eye on those idiots!
Well, I don't have a car,
No, not in a car,
You're gonna ride with them,
Oh, no, no,
Not in that hunk of junk,
Jason,,,
You like working for this company, right?
Yeah,
Well, your boss is dead,
Do you want to work for those rednecks
or do you want to work under me?
You keep an eye on them and then I'll take care of you
when I take over the company,
Hop to, bitch,
That kinda hurts,
- Get in, - Oww! My nachos!
Um,,,
Could maybe Oswald be the,,,
- What do you want? - Hey, Beauregard,
Um, funny thing,
It turns out that I'm supposed to, uh,
ride along with you guys,
You can't ride with us,
No, it's just for the will, To keep an eye on you,
- Who's got our money? - I do,
Oh, well then come on in!
- Okay, - Get in here!
Thank you,
Oh, my god,
Welcome, welcome! Home sweet home,
All right, I'm gonna have to get my shots,
There's some tequila up there,
No, not that kind of shot,
Like a-a vaccination against,,,
What's that?
It's where the government tries to control you
through your bloodstream,
Hey, uh, professional legal guy, this is our crew,
Mandy, she's my stepmom,
Wait, with your what?
She looks like she's the same age as you,
Yeah, I know, We all grew up together,
Uh, she was my babysitter, then my mom,
Actually, Mandy and I went to prom together,
Yeah, show him the picture,
No, I don't need to see that,
No, that's,,, okay,
I had it printed out at Walmart,
That's the two of us right here,
That's me, that's her,
I,,, I recognize you,
The theme was Thong Song of the Sea,
That was our song, Thong Song of the Sea,
That was our jam,
That's not the song name,
There's a popular song by Sisqo?
Yeah, no, I know, Thong Song,
It's not "of the sea,"
♪ Thong-thong-thong-thong ♪
There's no by the sea part,
Hey, lawyer, when do we get paid?
I'll give it to you when we stop,
No! I want it now!
What are you gonna do with it? We're driving,
Oh!
Please do not do that,
Do what, this?
Oh, holy god!
- That's not funny, - Yeah, it is,
No, I could get seriously hurt,
"I could get seriously hurt,"
- "I could get seriously hurt," - "I could get seriously hurt,"
That is not what I sound like,
That's exactly what you sound like,
No, it is not!
I'm pretty good at impressions,
- Yeah, he is, - Not of me!
- Poor baby, - Yeah, "not of me!"
No, no, that doesn't sound,,,
I am not gonna die in this RV,
Hey, Mandy, he bruised his vagina!
Can I please sit here?
Sure, You want a chip?
No, I don't want a chip, I want to live,
Hey, mom,
Noodle, you know I hate when you call me that,
How fast are we going, mom?
Fast enough,
It sounds like we're going about 45,
Right you are, 45 exactly,
How did you know that?
I'm an engine whisperer,
That's a thing?
Mm-hmm, it's a God-given gift,
Ever since he was a little guy,
- I got big ears, - Mandy, speed up!
We're not going to get there on time
if you don't drive faster,
I'm going as fast as I can!
Come on, Eskie, you get in there,
- Me? - No!
- No, no, no! - Get in there, get in there!
- No, no, no, we're fine, - It's my RV! My RV!
No one's at the wheel!
It's fine, it's fine,
I hate you!
- Hands off! Hands off! - I can drive myself!
Jesus! Oh, my,,,
- We're all good, - That is,,,
That was really not safe,
It's fine, They do it all the time,
Oh, you're about to see not safe,
Whoo!
Okay, Here we go,
Drum roll, please,
Ah, shit!
- What is it? - Oh, no!
I got a paper cut!
Oh, just put some Crisco on it,
- No! - Run it under water,
Just give me a minute, okay?
Just give me a minute,
Kiss it,
- Ow! Ow, ow, ow! - Oh, come on!
Let me see, Let me see!
I think I need stitches,
Oh, my god!
It's a paper cut,
Who cares, right?
Can we just move on? Open the letter,
Wow!
What is wrong with you?
You are mean!
Yeah, man, Have a little compassion,
It's serious,
It's a paper cut,
In 60 seconds he's not even going to remember it happened,
This is not something you forget,
This is something that happened to me,
Oh, yeah? What hand is it on?
Well, I feel like it was over here,
Yeah, it was your right hand 'cause you're a righty,
No, I was holding it with my right hand,
- Oh,,, - It was that hand,
We should reenact it,
- Yeah, here, - Oh, my god! No, stop!
Don't need to do that,
Let's move forward,
Open the letter,
Okay, I'll open the letter,
Not like that,
Dear Beauregard, That's me,
Congratulations on making it
to the beautiful Lucas Oil Speedway,
Is that where we are?
That's where we are,
We're at Lucas Oil Speedway,
How did he know where we were going to be?
He sent you here,
Is he psychic?
Is my dad psychic?
No! Please continue,
Still, that's weird though,
Makes you think,
- No, - It does,
- No, please, - It does,
Just continue,
Find Mr, Carl Renezedner, What is that?
Rent-A-Center,
Rent-A-Center?
He will get you into an off-road short course race,
If you can podium,,,
- Podium? - Yeah,
You've just gotta make one, two, or three?
I can,
,,,your challenge continues,
If not, your journey ends here,
Your father, Phineus, Who is dead,
Did he say I love you?
No,
Is that it?
That's it,
What do we,,, what do we do now?
We should probably get some breakfast,
- Oh, yeah, - No, no, no,
We should find Carl Renezedner and see when the race is,
find out if you need to train,
I don't know if you're good,
Why do you care what we do?
I don't,
The sooner we do this,
the sooner this whole thing is done,
I'm getting the feeling you don't care if I win or not,
Yeah, Jason,
I feel like you're not on our team,
I'm not,
All right? This is my job,
All right, I have to see this whole thing through
for the company I work for, Does that make sense?
I appreciate your enthusiasm,
But we don't need a babysitter,
Yeah,
Remember what happened when my dad,,,
- Yep, She fucked his dad, - I know the story,
'Cause I was married to him and that was my wifely duty,
All right, look, Can we,,,
can we please just make a plan?
Yeah, we can make a plan,
We'll go find Mr, Carl Rent-A-Center,
- Fantastic! - Yeah,
Yes! Let's do that,
You go ahead, I'll be right behind you,
- Okay, - Okay,
Okay, yeah, let's go find this guy,
- All right, - See you after breakfast!
Oh, no, no, no, no!
You said you were coming!
Oh, my god,
Oh, my god! It is hot,
Hey, Mr, Lawyer, look!
- Oh, real nice, - Look who I found,
It's Carl Rent-A-Center,
Yeah, and that's his crew chief, too,
- Hi, Yeah, hi, - I'm Jason,,,
I'm sorry, we don't have time for introductions,
- We have work to do, - Gotta work,
All right, thank you for,,,
- We didn't need you, - No,
Hey, how the hell?
Oh, we just ran into them at the truck stop,
Well, how'd you know it was them?
His name is on, like, everything they wear,
Oh, yeah,
You want a chip?
I do not want a chip, I want water,
All right now, Bo,
you're gonna have to move faster than that,
I know it's just a practice truck,
but it's still got plenty of power,
Okay,
Come on, Bo, you can do this,
Woo!
Punch it over that jump!
Damn!
I think I'm gonna floor it!
Whoo-hoo!
Oh, no!
Oh, my god, is he okay?
That was a good first lap, there, Bo,
That was good?
You're still alive, aren't you?
Yeah,
I did not like going upside down,
Well, you didn't actually go upside down,
You just spun out a little bit,
No, I,,, I went upside down,
I'm pretty sure,
Just keep it on all fours and you'll be just fine,
No, my,,, my vision went white,
I saw some people that I haven't seen in a while,
Did he go upside down?
Nope,
All right, let's get into our second lap, Bo,
Okay, here we go,
Whoo!
♪ You like to fade in ♪
♪ You like to fade out ♪
♪ You and your wicked smile ♪
♪ That's overrated ♪
That's it, Bo, that's it!
Whoo!
♪ So you're gonna find a way ♪
Yay for me!
Oh, man, that was cool!
Man, I went so fast,
Oh, man, this thing works!
- Yeah, - That was awesome,
- Oh, yeah, - Boodle!
Nope!
You were fantastic, Bo,
Thank you so much, Mandy,
You definitely have your father's genes,
Hey, don't be afraid to let her fly,
She'll take it,
Okay, I still got a week to practice,
Yeah, Nothing could possibly go wrong now,
Oh, man,
Bo!
Woah!
Oh, my god!
You think he's gonna be all right?
I'm guessing no,
Whoa!
Oh, man, hey, Eskie, I really appreciate
what you did for me out there, all right?
- Sorry, - Shh,
All right, all right, you just rest now, okay?
We're gonna win this next one for you,
Yeah, but also for the money,
Yes, also for the money,
Shut up, He can hear you,
He can't hear nothing! He's on so many drugs,
He's up there floating around with angels and stuff,
Probably gonna write a book about it,
go on talk shows and stuff about how heaven was real,
Eskie?
- Hmm? - Okay, fine,
Eskie, we're gonna win this one for you!
Okay?
Thank you,
Man!
Oh, man,
Sorry, I just talk with my hands,
Welcome, race fans,
to the Lucas Oil Speedway,
We've got an exciting day of racing ahead of us,
- This place is kind of gross, - Sorry,
Guys, Bo's race is about to start,
Okay,
I'm Oswald,
I'm,,, It's Jason,
Hey,
The lawyer for your dad's company,
Yeah, Oh, I know,
Did you, uh, did you bring me more clothes?
No, it's gonna be over after today,
- So, let's just do it, - Well, I don't know,
He's been practicing all week,
He kind of a,,, a natural,
- What? - Yeah,
It's like he's pretty good,
Not cool, Jason,
Not cool,
No, I,,, well, what am I supposed to,,,
All right, race fans,
Are you coming?
Uh, no, I'm gonna meet up with you guys later,
My nanny never let me have fried foods, but, uh,,,
she's not here right now, is she?
Here we go,
Up next on the track are the Pro-4 trucks,
We've got a great field of Pro-4 drivers
out here today, Mike,
Especially the wildcard entry,
A tractor-pull champion from Tennessee
named Beauregard Jackson,
And fun fact, he's never met his birth father,
Well, that bastard is in the gold #17 truck,
This truck's made out of gold,
All right, Bo, head on the swivel,
We're about to go green,
My favorite color,
Tractor guy is starting in the sixth spot,
Might be the best he does all day,
- Eww! - It'll be fine,
It'll be fine,
And we are green, green, green!
Hold on tight for 20 laps of truck-banging action,
Bradley Morris moves into the early lead
- followed by,,, - Look at Jackson, Bob!
He just might know what he's doing out there!
That's it, Bo,
I don't know what I'm doing out here!
Tractor Jackson is not afraid
to get right in the mix,
I love this guy!
He's got some big ol' bastard balls on him!
Seven laps in
and Ty LeDuc still holds onto the lead,
Yeah, Bob, but Tractor Jackson
has climbed all the way to second place,
He's chasing down LeDuc like a bat outta hell!
Come on, Bo!
Jackson has leader Ty LeDuc in his sights,
Jackson might just move into the lead here,
Oh, LeDuc goes wide,
This is super easy!
And there goes Jackson into the,,, Oh!
He got bumped in the turn!
He's losing positions with every passing second,
He needs to get back on the gas,
Come on, Trackie!
I'm gonna get that fucker!
Now, Bo, you forget about that guy,
You just concentrate on racing,
You get that fucker!
You get that fucker, Bo! You get him!
Damn! Jackson fell all the way to seventh, Bob,
I hope he didn't quit his day job
at the tractor pull,
Now, Mike, your guy is not done yet,
He's still making moves out there,
Come on, Bo!
No, Bob,
He just got knocked right off the course,
He's done,
I'm not done!
I'm coming back! I'm gonna get back in it!
Oh, Bob, look!
Trackie's back! He's back in it!
Well, this just doesn't even seem fair,
Whoo!
Look at this battle for third, Bob,
Jackson might just find the podium, Oh!
There's contact between Jackson and Fortin,
- And they're into the wall, - Oh, shit,
Hard!
Yep, slam into the wall,
- I think he's out, - What?
- I think he's out, - Why are you doing,,,
This is what we want, I don't want,,,
I don't want him to get hurt,
And that'll bring out a yellow flag, Bob,
How's the truck?
Engine's still humming,
All right, Bo, just sit tight,
I'm gonna get my boys over there
and they're gonna untangle you from the K-rail,
Dammit, Bo!
The pace car leads the way
as the trucks regroup for the green flag,
Jackson's team is working hard
to get him off that K-rail,
I hope that damage is only superficial,
All right now, Bo, I need you get to
the back of the pack before the restart,
Yeah, I know,
The hood keeps flappin'!
Aww, never mind, it came off,
And with the track clear,
our drivers are ready to get back in the action
behind leader Doug Matag,
All right, Bo, it's time to get focused,
You're in eighth place
and you only got four laps to go,
Don't worry, I got this figured out now,
Well, shit, that scares me, Bo,
And we are green, green, green!
Matag's yellow 81 truck
comes out in the lead,
Anderson and Shinney are chasing him down,
Bob! Bob!
Jackson's moved up to seventh,
I don't think he's done yet!
Yes, but he's still got veterans McAkrin
and LeDuc ahead of him,
LeDuc spun out!
Jackson moves to sixth!
Nice, Bo, nice!
And another pass by Jackson puts him in fourth!
Ha-ha! Bye, bitch!
You only got one lap to go to pick up that final position
if you want a podium,
That's all I need,
Matag in the yellow 81 maintains the lead
followed closely by Anderson and McAkrin,
Do you not see Jackson in fourth, Bob?
I have a good feeling Trackie has
a few tricks up his sleeve,
Oh, there he goes!
Trading paint with Anderson
as he bumper cars into second place!
Go, Bo, go,
Jackson just has to hold on
around the final turn to stand on the podium!
Oh!
Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!
Matag crosses the line in first,
McAkrin takes second,
Jackson takes third, Bob!
I knew it! See, Bob! Booyah!
In your face!
He did it, He podiumed,
Jason, you're dead to me,
I didn't,,, I'm just doing my job,
Umm, enjoy it while it lasts,
So, I'm still in the RV?
Where you going?
Where'd she go?
It's over, Oswald,
No, it is just beginning,
Mmm, Oh!
♪ Like what-what-what ♪
♪ Let me see that thong ♪
♪ I like it when the beat goes ♪
♪ Duh dun duh ♪
♪ Girl make your booty go ♪
♪ Duh dun dun ♪
Whoo!
Come on, drink your beer,
Drink your beer!
Drink your beer or you're a loser!
- Oh, that's what she said, - Sorry,
Yeah, on that note, I'm beat,
I'm gonna go to bed,
Okay,
You were really good today,
- Thank you, - I'm proud of you,
Goodnight!
Goodnight,
Hey, we should go look for those Heart Stopper girls,
The pretty ones from the podium,
Bo?
Oh, no, you go on ahead, I'm fine,
I'm just gonna stay here and chill out,
If I bring 'em back here, you gotta party with us,
Yeah, okay,
- Hell of a night, - What are you,,,
You should go in and say goodnight to Mandy,
I just did, dum-dum,
Not,,, come on, you like her, right?
Yeah, of course! She's my friend,
Yeah, is that all?
No, but,,, she was my prom date, too,
And so,,,
And she's Noodle's mom,
Oh, my god,
- What? - Forget it,
What are you trying to get me to say?
Bo, come on,
What?
Okay,
Okay, maybe a couple of times in my life
I've jerked off to her,
Oh, my god!
-But that's what everyone does,
- Nope, don't need to hear it, - It's natural,
- She's a pretty girl, - Nope, I'm going to bed,
I'm going to get some sleep,
People jerk off to people,,,
- Jason! Jason, look! - Watch the transit!
- Watch the transit, - While I was racing,
- I came across a jump, - Yeah,
I came across a jump like this,
- I was like whoa! - Whoo!
Ooh! That was awesome!
This is it,
That's my lawyer,
- Hi, - Hi,
Well, thanks for a good night last night, Noodle,
Boop!
- See ya later, - Yeah,
Noo-dle, where are your clothes?
I don't remember, so, they let me wear this,
Hot damn, Noodle! You're like a sexual dynamo!
I think I might work for Heart Stoppers now,
Well, hey, um, so let's do this,
Team Boodle is assembled,
Are you ready?
All right, I got it,
- Here we go, - No, no,,,
Thumbprint,
No, it's a,,, it's a retina scan this time,
I'm not putting nothin' in my butt,
I'll do it,
No, no, no one has to put anything in their butt,
Your retina is in your eye,
Okay, show me, Mr, Scientist,
I'm gonna,,,
- There, - Okay,
- All right, now you, - He just looked into it,
- Yes, - All right,
It's not gonna tear my eyeball?
It's not going to tear out your eyeball,
- All right, - Just look into the,,,
If it does, I'm gonna punch you in your mouth,
Okay,
Just look,
Whoop!
Oh, California? No thank you,
Why?
I don't like people from California,
They're funny, and not in a funny way,
Oh, and you also get this,
Oh!
- Oh, my god! - Yeah,
Let's go celebrate,
I would love to, but look,
we've gotta go get Eskie from the hospital
and then get to the next race so we can win more money!
- All right, - Come on, guys!
I don't think Eskandar is ready to travel,
Oh, he'll be fine,
Okay,
Come on,
I don't think he's gonna fit,
Oh, he'll fit,
I wish he'd just die!
It's like giving birth,
I got it, I'm good! I'm all good,
All right,
Ahh, there you go!
Snug as a bug in a Persian rug,
All right!
Let's move onto the next race,
Yeah,
Pretty impressive stuff, huh?
You weren't expecting me to recover, were you?
That was not bad, Not bad,
Still got three races left to run,
Hey, you saw me out there,
I'm a natural, All natural,
Like corn on the cob,
- He's au naturale, - Yeah,
- That's not what you,,, - Organic,
think it means,
You know,,, it feels like,,,
nothing could possibly go wrong now,
Oh, no, no, no!
Fuckin' boats?
Let's, uh, let's win this one,
Y'all go ahead,
I'm gonna stay here and set up camp, okay?
Cool,
How are we supposed to find this Shelby Ebert anyway?
We'll ask somebody,
I can't just talk to these people,
They're Californians,
They take away your guns and make you get gay married,
- Are you serious? - Yes,
- Seriously serious? - Yes, I'm serious!
Excuse me, where's,,, we're looking for Shelby Ebert,
She's over there,
There, boom! Was that so hard?
Yeah, you're from New York, Californians,
Different tips on the same liberal turd,
Are you okay?
Yes, I'm fine! Okay? I'm fine!
All right, come on, guys,
Do you have social anxiety?
No, I don't,
My cousin has that,
Your cousin has epilepsy,
Come on,
Excuse me, Shelby?
That's me,
I'm sorry, you're both Shelby?
Yeah, she drives, I make it go,
Okay,
- What's your name? - Shelby,
- And your name? - Shelby,
Two Shelbys, all right?
You got it?
Hi, I'm Jason Wilmore,
- Nice to meet you, - You, too,
I'm the executor of Phineus Davis' estate,
Oh, we were so sorry to hear of his passing,
He loved a good speedboat,
Ah, he did,
And this is his son, Bo,
I never met him, He abandoned me,
Okay,
Hi, Bo, it's nice to meet you,
Uh, do you want to check out your boat?
Nope,
What?
I'm sorry, I mean, no, thank you,
Well, you're here to race, aren't you?
I don't know, Yeah, maybe,
Bo, what is going on? Let her show you the boat,
Okay, show me the boat,
I'm so sorry,
Yes, we'd love to see the boat,
Okay, cool,
Apologies, he hasn't eaten yet,
Wow!
Whoa, I can see my reflection,
That is an impressive boat,
Cool,
Thank you guys for doing this,
Shelby, I really appreciate it,
But, uh, it's pink!
Sure is!
I ain't drivin' no pink boat,
Are you being serious right now?
Yeah, it's a girl's boat, I ain't a girl!
This boat is one of the fastest in the entire sport!
Sure is!
Come on, Bo, it's just one event,
Plus, we could win another five grand,
We? It's not we, Noodle, it's me!
I have to do the racing,
And I say no!
Look, you're very pretty, and I appreciate it a lot,
but your boat sucks, and I hate your guts!
Ahh, I'm so sorry about that,
Um, we're going to have to get back to you,
I'm,,, I'm sure the race is still on,
Whoa! Whoa! Bo!
What are you,,, Is that yours?
- No, - Bo!
Oh, my god,
I'm,,, okay, I am so sorry,
Let me just,,, Bo!
You shove that pink boat up your ass!
Do not make me chase you, young man!
Fuck you!
Which one of you is Shelby?
Bo, honey, you okay?
I'm not a girl!
Well, okay, why don't you come out here
and we'll talk about it,
No!
I got you two of them Heart Stopper drinks you like,
- Heart Stoppers? - Yeah,
- Fine! - Come out here,
Come here,
What's going on?
- I don't know, - Come sit down,
- What happened? - Stupid!
They want me to ride in a girl boat,
What's it got?
Like big ol' titties and lashes, or what?
No, it's pink,
It's pink like a Barbie boat,
Yeah they're gonna have me ride in a boat
where everybody's like, Oh, there's Bo
in that pink boat, what a dumb fuck,
Boat races are stupid, I hate 'em!
Bo, is there something else going on with you
about all this?
No, I'm just hungry,
I need a cookie,
- No, hey, Bo, wait, wait, - I'll go get,,,
Hey,
If it's a secret, Bo, I can keep a secret,
Okay? Only you and me will know,
You won't tell Noodle?
Not even Noodle,
What about God?
I can't keep a secret from the Lord,
He sees and hears everything, praise be,
Yeah, I know, Praise be,
What?
I can't hear you,
Oh, you can't swim,
Yeah, I can't swim,
Okay, Is that all?
I'm afraid of the water,
Okay,
That's okay, darlin',
Okay, what about this?
What if we find some place, okay?
And,,, and I'll just,,, I'll teach you how to swim,
In water?
- There, it's in, - Come on,
Okay, just give me space,
Don't you want to win $5,000?
Yes, Look,
See, I'm coming in, Don't grab me,
♪ If you got a problem ♪
♪ I don't care what it is ♪
♪ If you need a hand ♪
♪ I can assure you of this ♪
♪ I can help ♪
♪ I got two strong arms ♪
♪ I can help ♪
♪ It would sure do me good ♪
♪ to do you good ♪
♪ Let me help ♪
♪ It's a fact that people get lonely ♪
♪ Ain't nothin' new ♪
♪ But a woman like you baby ♪
♪ Should never have the blues ♪
♪ Let me help ♪
♪ Like you do for me ♪
♪ Let me help ♪
♪ It would sure do me good ♪
♪ to do you good ♪
♪ Let me help ♪
♪ When I go to sleep at night ♪
♪ You're always a part of my dream ♪
♪ Holding me tight ♪
♪ Telling me everything ♪
♪ I wanna hear ♪
♪ Don't forget me baby ♪
♪ All you gotta do is call ♪
♪ You know how I feel about you ♪
♪ If I can do anything at all ♪
♪ Let me help ♪
♪ If your child n eeds a daddy ♪
♪ I can help ♪
♪ it would sure do me good to do you good ♪
♪ Let me help ♪
Noodle!
Team freakin' Boodle!
Afternoon, folks!
Remember, on race day, it ain't safe to have
your kids swimming in the water,
You okay, Bo?
I don't know,
I don't think I'm ready for this,
It's okay,
We're all right here with you,
Okay,
Maybe what you're looking for is right in front of your face,
But I can't see nothin' right now
'cause you're right in front of my face,
Could you please move?
Here you go,
Okay, I love you,,,
Noodle,
And Jason, you should go to church,
I'm just sayin' things in case I die,
All right, let's put this thing in the water!
Go ahead, it's a good day to die!
Drop me in! Team Boodle!
All right, let's get her wet!
Bye, Bo,
Good luck out there, Bo,
I'm a bit nervous, I gotta be honest,
Okay, slow, slow,
The race hasn't started yet,
Come on, slow down,
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm sinking!
- No, you're not, - Yes, I am,
- You're floating, - No, I'm not,
- It's,,, you're totally fine, - Uh-uh,
It's a beautiful day here at Lake Mead
for today's Lucas Oil Drag Boat Racing Series,
Up next in the pro modified class
is our special guest,
If you follow off-road racing, you know his name,
It's bastard child tractor man Beauregard Jackson,
racing in Shelby Ebert's hot pink Lucas Oil boat,
Whoa! Shit!
Jackson got a great jump off the line,
He's holding that Barbie boat nice and steady,
This is looking like a solid run,
That qualifies Jackson for the elimination round
with a time of 5:07!
He qualified,
Yeah,
You know what we should do is get some food,
Do you not realize what's at stake here?
Oh, steak would be good!
My soda!
Stop whining!
That will bring us
to the semi-finals in the modified circuit,
David Logan and Beauregard Jackson
are the first to match up,
The winner of this race
is guaranteed a spot on the podium,
This is it! This is it,
Jackson gets a slow start off the line,
Oh, but no, look at that boat move!
Yeah!
And Jackson wins!
Guaranteeing himself a spot in the top two,
That's my guy!
- Whoo-hoo! - Seriously, folks,
who would have thought
a bastard tractor driver
from Tennessee would be taking on
veteran Bower in the finals?
Whoo!
Bower jumps out to the early lead,
but come on, Bo, you bastard!
Oh, shit, Bower won,
But, folks, come on,
Beauregard Jackson had a hell of a day,
Holy shit!
I didn't die!
- That's my guy, - Pink is a cool color,
I told you pink is cool,
And let's hear it
for your second place finisher, Beauregard Jackson,
- Hey, Mr, Lawyer, - Hey!
Did you see me out there?
I did, I was watching,
- Okay, - Pretty impressive,
Looks like Team Boodle might podium in all these races,
Maybe,
- Team Boodle, - Team Boodle,
All right, shall we do this?
- See where we're headed? - Yeah,
Oh, that's gross,
No, it's,,, it performs a DNA analysis on your spit,
- So you gotta,,, - So I just spit in here?
Yeah, just a little spit right in there,
Are you,,, oh, my,,,
- No,,, - I have a hard time spitting,
I have a gag reflex,
- Just spit, Just spit, - Okay, hold on,
There's spit in your mouth,
Every time we go somewhere new,
he has to blowjob a suitcase?
- Just let it out into the,,, - Okay, there it goes,
Oh, yep, yep, Here we go,
Oh, that scares me every time,
It's like how can you not get used to that?
Oh, Glen Helen Speedway, San Bernardino, California,
A speedway! And speed's kinda my thing,
Everything just feels so great,
You know what I mean? Like nothing could possibly,,,
- Stop! - What?
- Don't say that, - What?
The,,, What?
You say that all the time, that nothing can go wrong,
and then something immediately goes wrong,
You understand that, right?
Oh, come on, he can't put a hex on things,
No, yeah, I cannot use my words
and change the future,
I mean come on, I'm not a witch,
This,,, you don't have to be a witch,
It's called a jinx, Have you people,,,
you've never heard of a jinx, honest to God?
Tell me, Just please, don't,,,
this one time for me, don't say it,
- Jason, listen, - What?
Buddy, hey,
Everything's gone good, okay?
Yes, I know,
- Nothing,,, - What?
- Could,,, - Don't,
- Possibly,,, - Please?
- Go,,, - You're not,
- Wrong,,, - Come on!
Now,
Beauregard Jackson?
Oh, fuck!
Hi, Vanessa Forrester,
You were pretty impressive out there today,
Okay,
Uh, well, um,,,
I get,,,
I mean, um, do we know each other?
Oh, well, I'm a publicist,
Sorry, I saw your video online,
Oh,
I have a video?
Yeah, the MAV-TV coverage from your short-course race,
It's going viral,
Oh, no shit?
- What does that mean? - It means your sick,
- No, it doesn't, - Virus,
- No, - I don't know,
It's,,, people are watching,
A lot of people are watching,
- Ahh,,, - Yes,
And after what you did out there today,
- with the boats,,, - Uh-huh?
I have a feeling that you could be a big star,
And I'm always looking for the next big star,
Well, yeah, I was,,,
Okay,
I mean there's a lot going on right now,
Uh, it's a long story,
I'm trying to win this money,
Well, I do love a good story, Bo,
I mean that's kind of my job,
I would love to hear it,
Uh, okay,
You want a drink?
Yes, I would love a drink,
- Okay, - Thank you,
Come on in,
"I love a good story, Bo,"
"I'd love to hear your stories, Bo,"
They've been in there for over an hour,
It's been like 15 minutes,
Well, this is stupid,
We should be out celebrating,
Let's just,,, this could be a really big deal
for Bo, okay? So, let's just have
a little more patience and understanding,
They're comin', Act natural,
- So, okay then, - Okay,
I'll see you back in San Bernardino,
Yeah, thank you so much, You've been so nice,
Oh, come on,
I know a winner when I see one,
Well, it was lovely meeting you guys,
Bye, Bo,
All right, bye, Take care,
Okay,
What in the holy hell were you two talking about in there?
I don't know, She wants to do some kind of story on me,
- Get out! - Yeah,
- Hey, that's great, Bo, - Yeah, congrats,
Well, let's go party,
Oh, well, actually Vanessa is going to be waiting for us
down the road, so, we've gotta,,,
we gotta start moving,
Oh, well,,,
I'll go feed Eskandar,
Okay,
Hey, Bo?
- Yeah? - Hey,
Um, before we pack up and leave,
you want to just have a drink?
Just you and me?
No, I'm okay,
He's an idiot,
Noodle, I swear I did not eat your Funyuns,
Well, they're not cannibals,
They didn't eat themselves,
Hey, Bo!
Welcome to Glenn Helen,
How do you know who I am?
Your publicist Vanessa, She called me,
Says you're the real deal,
King Michaels,
He's as real as the sky is blue,
Well, can you ride motocross?
Can I ride motocross?
Does a frog fart flies?
- That's a yes, - Amen,
Well, I used to ride with your father Phineus,
Even let him win once in a while,
- Hmm, - He was like
a second father to me,
Well, I never met him, cause he abandoned me,
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know,
Yep,
Well, Vanessa's got a limo waiting for us,
We're going to go downtown and grab some lunch,
You paying?
- No, she is, - Okay!
You're my new best friend, Let's go!
- Sounds good, - Oh, I'm sorry,
I'm just supposed to grab Bo,
Well, I'm Jason Wilmore,
I'm executor of Phineus' estate,
So, I should probably,,,
No,
Sorry, just Bo,
Sorry, guys,
Free food, my hands are tied,
Yeah,
There you go,
If you bring me more vegetables,
I'm gonna kick your ass,
I'm just kiddin',
So, I hear Bo is pretty good at motocross already,
Well, that's great,
I want to set up some interviews for you,
We need to get your story out there,
I don't know,
I ain't too good at interviewing,
Trust me, you're going to be great,
You have a natural charm,
Do I?
You do,
Oh, you should interview Mandy and Noodle, too,
They're charming,
- They seem really nice, Bo, - They are,
But they're not the ones racing out there,
This story is about you,
They're just along for the ride,
Okay? Picture it,
Beauregard Jackson, billionaire baby!
Yeah, like I could be the star of my own movie,
- Bingo, - No,
You are the star, Bo,
A big huge star,
Okay,
♪ Get around town ♪
♪ Spend your time on the run ♪
♪ You never let down ♪
♪ Say you do it for fun ♪
♪ You never miss a play though ♪
♪ you make quite a few ♪
♪ You give it all way ♪
♪ Everybody wants you ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ You crave attention ♪
♪ You can never say no ♪
♪ Throw your affections ♪
♪ any way the wind blows ♪
♪ You always make it ♪
♪ You're on top of the scene ♪
♪ You sell the copy ♪
♪ like the cover of a magazine ♪
♪ Whoo ♪
♪ Everybody wants you ♪
What is it? Noodle, I'm busy,
Where are you, Bo?
You gotta be here practicing,
I'm working on marketing myself right now, you know?
Getting my face out there,
Don't you worry, I got this,
These are professionals
you're racing against,
You trying to say I ain't professional?
Well, the professionals
- are here practicing, Bo, - Hey, Bo,
Would you mind oiling my back?
- And I'm worried, - No, I wouldn't,
- Here you go, - I'm gonna sit on your butt,
- Hope I'm not too heavy, - Oh, no, Ooh!
No,
I don't know what Noodle's problem is, you know?
Your star is rising,
They just want to ride your coattails,
Yeah, ride my coattails,
You're your own man now, Bo,
I am, I am my own man,
Try,,, try the jump,
Okay,
Umm, no,
You're really bad at this,
Really bad, yeah,
Hey, guys,
The star has returned,
Where the hell have you been?
Bo has been busy,
Yeah, well, Bo has got a race tomorrow,
and Bo hasn't been on the track all this week,
What the hell do you care?
You afraid you're not gonna be able
to ride my coattails no more?
What's that now?
I have to do all the racing, all the winning,
All you gotta do is collect $100 a day
and party with Heart Stopper girls
based on my famousness,
Are you being serious right now?
And how come you get so many letters
in the team name?
It's like your whole name!
The first two letters of Boodle are Bo,
That is literally your whole name,
That is your O, not my O,
Oodle, Noodle,
All I get is the B,
- Bo, calm down, - No, uh-uh!
This is just like when we were kids,
You only wanted to be my friend when I was winning,
And then Tommy started winning
and then you were his friend,
We were all friends!
And we were all just happy for him,
I wasn't happy for Tommy!
I was supposed to win that race,
I was supposed to be the winner,
A real friend would have seen that,
I am your real friend, Bo,
Not from where I'm standing,
Well,,,
if that's the way you feel,,,
I'm out,
Good luck tomorrow,
I don't need luck,
I never need luck,
I ain't no leprechaun,
Hey,
What's going on, Bo?
I do not need a speech from you, too,
Okay?
I am tired of everybody telling me what to do,
I'm my own man now, My own Bo,
Okay, Bo,
Should I just,,,
- Yep! - Yeah, okay,
It's another hot one
out here at the world famous Glen Helen,
Ladies and gentlemen, we have 20 laps of racing
today in our open event,
Of course, the big name out here today
is Beauregard Jackson, sporting the number 27,
- That's right, baby! - Kill it, Bo!
- There you go, - Okay,
The riders are lined up,
The gates are down and here we go!
It's shoulder to shoulder out here in the beginning,
Jacobs and Bishop lead the pack at the opening turn,
But with so many challenging riders
out here today,
this is literally anybody's race,
Why's my bike so slow?
In spite of all the hype surrounding
Beauregard Jackson this week,
he is really struggling out there today,
What the hell is going on?
Halfway through the race,
Jacobs still holds a slight lead over Kennedy and Brown,
Stupid bike!
Come on, Bo,
Jackson seems to be out of his element
and just can't keep up with the leaders,
Oww! What the,,,
Jackson looks to be falling
even further behind,
You came?
- Yeah, I did, - That's great!
There might be a limiter on Bo's throttle,
Well, how would you know that?
Engine whisperer?
- Oh, that's a thing, yeah, - Yeah,
You've gotta tell him,
No, no, you,,, you tell him,
He won't listen to me,
We're in a fight,
Well, look, I'm not supposed to really get that involved,
If he's gonna podium this race,
you've gotta tell him,
But what if,,, Noodle? Noodle!
- Bo, Bo! - Hi, Jason,
It really looks like Beauregard Jackson
is getting frustrated out there today,
He just can't seem to find his gear,
Bo!
- Bo, Bo! - Not now!
Bo, Bo!
After his amazing performance
in Pro-4's short-course racing and his unbelievable run
in drag boats, I thought maybe, just maybe,
he'd surprise us all again out here today,
What the hell is he doing?
- Why is he on the track? - Uh-oh!
It looks like a crazy fan has got himself onto the track,
What the hell is wrong with you?
There's a limiter on your throttle!
- What? - I don't know,
It's something on the bike,
- Check your bike! - My bike?
It's a chipper clipper!
Security is removing that crazed fan now,
Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark!
What an idiot!
I don't know, I think he's kinda cute,
Get up! Crazy fool!
Let's get our bikes back humming, folks,
We're about to go green with only six laps to go,
Hi!
Oh, the bike is faster!
Jackson seems to have found a new gear
as he's now chasing down the pack,
That one took it!
Number 27, Jackson, with a nice pass,
Whoo!
Jackson is flying by the competition now,
He's a man on a mission,
With only one lap to go,
Jackson has climbed into third place,
He just needs to hold this position
to finish on the podium,
Whoo!
As we approach the finish line,
Jacobs pulled away and is going to
take first place easily,
followed by Vaughn in second,
And here comes Jackson to the line!
Oh, shit! I'm going upside down!
Oh!
Both the bike and Jackson
make it over the finish line to take third place
in one of the wildest finishes I have ever seen!
Oh, shit, that hurt so much,
Well, it seems like there's nothing
that can stop Beauregard Jackson,
Whoo!
Underneath the Yamaha Bridge,
I'm in a tunnel, motherfucker!
Yes,
That was not the plan,
Obviously,
It wasn't my fault,
It was that dildo Jason,
He knew about the bike somehow,
I need you to focus and stop dicking around,
He cannot even enter the next race,
Do you hear me?
Hey! Noodle! Mandy!
Hey, there, superstar!
God, what an amazing comeback,
What?
Oh, the race, Right, Uh, yeah,
The bike was all,,,
Yes, the bike,
I mean you made it go so much faster,
Yeah,
Yeah, I think King did something to it,
He was acting a little weird back there,
I bet he did, I never trusted him,
God, you're like really smart,
Thank you for noticing,
Okay, so where to next?
Oh, um, well, there's this box,
It tells me what I need to do and all that
and, um, it's impossible to open,
It's like a James Bond type thing,
You've gotta get like DNA testing
- and all that kind of jazz, - Sure, of course,
Like that?
Yeah, like that,
Uh, I did not know that did that,
I was not aware,
Monster Jam Arena, Anaheim, California,
Okay, now this is it,
This is the last stop,
- Mm-hmm, - All right?
So, come on, you're riding with me in my limo,
Wa-wa-wait, wait, I,,,
I gotta wait for my team,
- Your team? - Yeah,
What team?
The team that abandoned you out there today?
Screw them, Bo!
Look, you don't need them,
Okay?
And besides, you've,,, you've got me,
Yeah, okay, whatever you say,
- I'll do it, - Let's go!
Anaheim, here we come!
Was that Bo?
Yeah,
He found himself another ride,
We gotta get going,
Screw him, I'm not going to Anaheim,
Anaheim?
No,
I gotta go get Jason out of jail,
Jail?
- Holy,,, - Shit,
- Like it? - Yeah!
Yeah, I like it,
This is amazing! Oh!
I feel like I'm rich, but I'm not, you know?
What you wanna do now?
Holy shit!
You like?
Uh, is solitary an option?
Hey, guys,
Who's my big champion?
I am!
♪ Put your right hand out ♪
♪ Give a firm handshake ♪
♪ Talk to me ♪
♪ about that one big break ♪
♪ Spread the ear pollution ♪
♪ both far and wide ♪
Now this is a party,
♪ Keep your contributions ♪
♪ by your side ♪
♪ and stroke me Stroke me ♪
Now this is a party,
Noodle!
You kicked me right in my balls, That hurt like hell,
- Oh, God, - Oh, my God,
Are you pooping?
No,
There was just nowhere to sit,
- I couldn't,,, - Watch your head,
Thank you, thank you,
I'll send you that recipe we talked about,
- Slap me, - I'm not gonna slap you,
Ah, Jesus! What is wrong with you?
Yes!
Oh, good job,
- Thank God, - Thank you,
I'm so glad you're okay,
Oh, thank you for bailing me out,
- Mm-hmm, - Where is Bo?
Oh, he rode with Vanessa,
To where?
He said Anaheim,
That's near Hollywood
where they make movies about beautiful people
doing cool sexy things,
Yeah, they make other kinds of movies there, too,
Oh, God, You know what?
I bet it's this Monster Jam,
This is not good,
Oh, don't worry, he'll be great,
He loves big trucks,
No, it's not,,, this is tomorrow night,
Does he have any idea?
Whatever,
He don't need us taking care of him anymore,
He's got Vanessa now,
Vanessa, yeah, that's exactly what I'm worried about,
He's not picking up,
We've gotta go find him,
No! Didn't you hear him at the track, Jason?
He don't need our help no more,
He did kind of leave you in jail,
I know, I know, look,
This is my job, Just let me do it,
see this thing through, please,
Your job?
Is that why you ran on the track like a crazy man?
Just some job?
You know what I think, Noodle?
I think this guy is starting to like us,
No,
No, it's not that, it's just, this is a job,
- You like us, - No,
- You're in love with us, - No, I,,,
You wanna be our best friend,
- You do, - No, I,,
You like us,
All right fine, yes, I like you guys, all right?
You're nice, and you do nice things for each other,
and you get me out of jail
and the people I know don't normally behave like that,
The people you know are dicks,
Big fat penises,
Yeah, I know a lot of dicks,
Well, we're not dicks,
He's our friend, let's go help him,
- Yeah, - No,
Ya'll I'm not going,
I'm not gonna chase after Bo anymore,
But you like Bo,
Yeah, I do like Bo,
I like him too much,
I've liked him my whole life,
I'm sorry, Noodle,
but when you're older you'll understand,
But I'm your age,
Yeah, no, it's just a different, um,,,
but I understand, Mandy, all right?
Just come with us to Anaheim
and I'll get you back to Tennessee,
Thank you, Jason,
Count me in!
Of course you're in,
You got nowhere else to go,
I forgot that guy was back there,
I'm sorry, just, you're a hard woman to find, Chrissy,
Jason, did you lose something?
Where's Bo?
I don't know what you're talking about,
His final race is today,
Mmm,,,
No, Jason, his last race was yesterday,
Now I hope you enjoy your little dipshit friends
and they help you get a job at the Tennessee suck and fuck
when I take over my Dad's company,
'Cause I am never giving you a job,
and you're never going to enjoy all of this,
It's not that great anyway, that,,,
this whole,,,,
Let me tell you, I don't need any of that,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
Idiot,
Look, Michael, all I need to know from you
is your biggest room service order from last night,
Bo!
Bo, buddy,
Hey, Bo, come on, wake up,
- Jason! - You okay?
What happened here last night?
- Where's Vanessa? - I don't know,
We made love, I think we did,
I don't know, I don't remember,
Okay,
- Why does this always happen? - Vanessa tricked you,
I always fall in love with the wrong people,
You have one more race, it's tonight,
- Tonight? - We have to get you up,
Hold on, I'm lovesick,
- Give me a moment, - Give me,,,
Come on, up, Up!
I don't want to race ever again,
Let's give you one more race,
- There we go, - Oh, yeah,
- I'm all right, - All right, good,
Oh,,,
Oh, yeah,
Let it out, let it out,
Oh, God, Oh, buddy, buddy,
Hold on, We're good,
It's good, it's good, it's good,
Leave it, leave it,
I'll come back for it,
Oh, God, this is it, This is the truck,
Okay, let's do it,
- Let's do it, - Hey, excuse me, ladies,
- Linsey Weenk? - Oh, hey, hey,
Oh, God, hi, Good to meet ya,
You Bo?
No, no, no, I'm not Bo,
Uh,,, that's Bo,
Oh, has he ever driven a monster truck before?
Uh,,,
Anaheim, California,
are you ready to experience Monster Jam?
Hold on to your seats, for all the racing
and freestyle action,
Eh, how's this,,, Is it?
How do you get it on?
Oh, okay, that works,
Okay, sorry, sorry,
Sorry, sorry,
All right, did you get Mandy off okay?
Yeah, I dropped her off at the bus station,
No I, I to you to fly her home,
There's no such thing as a flying bus, Jason,
That is true,
All right, there's three events,
The first one's a speed event,
He's just got to beat this guy, advance a few rounds,
and then he'll get some decent points,
Our next matchup is Jon Zimmer
in his fire breathing dragon ice truck,
Does mine breath fire?
Oh, wait, Uh, this and this,
He'll be taking on rising motorsports star,
- Beauregard Jackson, - Okay, where's prism?
Yeah this works,
He is driving the Lucas Oil Crusader,
I got it! Yes!
Let's give him a warm Monster Jam welcome,
You said you had this handled,
He was out cold,
Here we go,
Both trucks are good off the line,
Go, go,
Zimmer's up by a leap,
Jackson needs to punch it into this final turn,
Shit! Aah! Not upside down!
Ooh!
And the crusader goes tits up in the speed round,
Well, folks, so much for our rising star,
He is one and done in the speed round,
Thank you!
Rough start,
Can I even come back from that?
There's still two more events,
I don't know what to do,
I wish Noodle was here,
I can, uh, help with that wish,
You look like shit,
Noodle!
I'm so sorry,
I'm a fucking idiot,
There there, you're not,
I wronged you,
I forgive you,
You're a ray of fucking sunshine,
Did you see me driving out there?
I would not call that driving,
I know,
It only gets harder too,
I'm here, too, Bo,
Yeah, hey, Eskie, how's it going?
Well, the team is together, right?
Two more events,
Go out there and claim your fortune, Bo,
What about Mandy?
Is she here too?
Oh, I uh,,, she's on her way to Tennessee,
I dropped her off at the bus station,
Damn, I really messed it up with her,
She hates me now,
Oh, my God, she's in love with you, Bo,
What?
You love Mandy, Mandy loves you,
You just gotta tell her,
How'd you know I loved her?
It's obv,,, Everyone knows, It's obvious,
She's married to Noodle's dad,
They got divorced like five years ago
when he left,
They did?
He ain't never coming back,
Plus, if you were with Mandy,,,
Yeah?
You'd be my dad,
- Team Dad Noodle! - Team Dad Noodle!
All right,
Okay, let's go get her,
No, no, no, no, no, no,
the second event's about to start,
So? I've gotta go tell her I love her,
She might still be at the station,
Okay, let's go get her,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Bo, no, no,
Don't,,, you don't have to tell her tonight,
Just big picture here, right?
You stay here, you do this, you win the event,
you get the money, and then you go home
and you tell her you love her,
Right?
Not good enough, Jason,
I cannot do this without her,
You will miss this event,
I don't care,
Love is more important,
It's stronger than anything,
Okay, let me,,, let me get this straight,
So I, um, I got tackled by like two beefcake men,
who maybe broke two of my ribs, I spent the night in jail
dancing with some dickhole Persian mafia,
and I lost my job,
I mean, when I get back to New York there is nothing,
My life is over,
And you want to go tell the woman you've loved
for thirty years right now that you love her?
You can't wait thirty years and a day,
and so you lose this, and then everything's gone,
You want me in on that?
You're either with us, or you're against us,
I'm with ya, let's go,
Hey, can I get a ticket to, uh,
Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, please?
Why so sad, little lady?
It's just,,,
you know, somebody turned out to not be the person
that I thought he was,
I see,
Well, darlin' love can make a man crazy,
but it can't make him a sandwich,
Sorry, I don't understand,
Well just think on it for a while,
- Okay, - Think on it,
Thank you,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is totally blocked in,
We'll never get the RV out of here,
Bo, take my wheelchair,
No!
Great idea!
Yeah, it'll be a lot faster,
Yeah, it will be faster,
And I love driving wheelchairs,
It won't be any faster,
Excuse me, we're coming through,
Look out buddy, sorry,
You speak Chinese?
I studied Mandarin for seven years,
Your pronunciation's terrible,
Seriously?
Oh, my God,
Stand on my feet! Stand on my feet!
- What's wrong with it? - It's jammed,
- You guys go ahead, - You sure?
- I'm tired, - All right, let's go,
Oh, come on,
Oh, that's nice,
Sorry, Sorry,
We're not gonna make it with me running,
What are we gonna do?
Come on,
Hey, buddy,
Hey, man, I need to borrow your bike,
Sorry, no,
The love of my life is getting away,
I could give a shit,
Will this do it?
Shit, yes, you got yourself a moped,
- Thanks, buddy, - All right,
Just hang tight for a moment all right?
- No, - Just a second,
We just gotta get the stuff out of the back,
- Let's go, - No, no, no,
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Stop, stop,
Oh, come on, Move!
What is that? Is that us?
What is happening?
Oh, my God!
Who puts a dog in a closed trunk?
I don't have time to care, You go,
I'll take it back to the people,
Move! Move!
Mandy, I'm coming!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry,
It's for love!
Sorry, sorry,
Hello?
Hello, I need help, Hello?
Hey, son, You need some help?
Yeah, is there a bus going to Tennessee?
- Sure is, - What time does it leave?
I'm afraid you just missed it,
Matter of fact, there it goes right there,
- What? - There,
Stop the bus! Stop the bus!
Stop, stop, Mandy!
Did you sell that boy a ticket?
His ticket has been punched by the god of love, Charlotte,
You're fired,
Bo?
Don't you have a Monster Jam to win?
Mandy, don't leave,
I'm an idiot, I love you!
Oh, Bo, you had me at jumpin' on the bus,
- I did? - Yeah,
- I love you, - Oh, thank God,
Right there, uh-huh,
Mom?
And my new dad?
You did it, you big romantic lug,
Yeah, turns out she loves me!
Oh, I know,
Hey, how'd you get here so fast?
We took a cab,
Oh, man, that's so smart, I should have taken a cab,
Oh, it was so fast, just right here,
I was on a moped, I ran into a Chinese guy,
it was a whole thing,
I hope he's okay,
What about Monster Jam?
We've already missed the second event,
Bo's probably been disqualified,
- Oh, - Shit,
Well, what about the money?
Hey, Noodle,
I was thinking about this while I was riding on the moped,
running into vegetables,
Tommy was a winner because had a family
that cared about him,
He had a dad that gave him a clutch cable,
helped him win that race,
And that's what I got,
I got people that care about me,
Eskie saved my life,
You taught me how to swim,
By the way I had a boner the whole time we did that,
and I didn't want to tell you
but now that we're together,
I had a boner then,
That's so sweet!
And you, you figured out
what was wrong with that motorbike,
How'd you know that was me?
You think this dingleberry knows anything about an engine?
All he knows is kombucha and complaining,
And prison,
It was a,,, it wasn't,,, it was a jail,
It's not prison,
Hey, guys, I don't need to win the Monster Jam,
I already won,
I got you guys,
Oh, Bo,
Get in here,
Come on, I'm your new dad,
- Come on, son, - There you go,
Oh, you get in here too,
Okay,
Ah, Hallelujah!
Bo, my boy!
Mr, Davis, you're alive?
Yup!
You are one hell of a group,
You're amazing,
I mean, what the hell?
This has been a great adventure,
Well, who would have known I'd have to pretend to be dead
just to feel this much alive?
Why would you?
Oh, I screwed up with those other two kids,
Hell, I screwed up with you, boy,
I'm sorry I deserted you and your mother,
Hell, I thought you'd only want that money,
But now look what you've gone and done,
You've gone and shown me what's really important
in this life,
Bo?
Bo, you all right?
Bo, honey? You okay?
You let me believe that the father I never knew
was dead this whole time?
That I'd never even get a chance to meet you?
What the hell is wrong with you?
Well, hell, Bo, you had to,,, had to prove yourself,
A son should not have to prove himself to his father,
Maybe that's why your other kids are such dickheads,
- They took after you! - Hey, Bo, wow,
- That's ridiculous, - No, he's a dick head,
- Big old dick for a head, - He's very emotional,
But that was the old me, Bo,
This is the new me,
Oh, the new you who flew in on a giant chopper
acting like king of the world?
Well,,,
Helicopters are cool,
Yeah, choppers are cool,
That was so cool,
I just wish you would have done it thirty years ago
when I needed you,
Well, you're right there, Maybe I should have,
But then again, maybe if I'd done it,
then you wouldn't have turned out to be the man
that you are today,
I had to be abandoned by my father to become a man,
That's a hell of a lesson to learn,
You're my dad, huh?
Yes, sir, I am your daddy,
Okay, you know I made a speech earlier
about not wanting to win the Monster Jam,
but I want to win the Monster Jam,
Now you do realize that my will don't mean anything,
seeing that I'm alive,
It's not about the money, I need to prove myself,
No, son, you don't need to prove yourself,
Not to you,
I want to prove myself to myself,
Sometimes winning is the only way to win,
He's so smart,
Now that's my son!
Hell, I'd trust my company in your hands
any day of the week,
Oh,,,
Oh, uh, by the way, what does your company make?
Clutch cables!
- Clutch cables? - Bo,
Hold on, clutch cables?
Yeah, like,,, for like motorbikes,
Yeah, like the thing that changed my whole life?
That's ironic,
Ladies and gentlemen,
this night is not over yet,
Beauregard Jackson has returned
and is going to combine his two wheel event
and his freestyle event into one,
using the little known Phineas rule,
Earth to Bo, can you hear me?
Yeah, I hear ya loud and clear,
I talked to some of the other gear heads,
They told me this will be a piece of cake,
Well, I love cake, Here we go,
Woo!
Wheelies first, Get the crowd on your side,
♪ It's early morning ♪
♪ The sun comes out ♪
Woo! Yeah!
♪ My cat is purring ♪
♪ It scratches my skin ♪
Go Bo!
♪ Another sin ♪
♪ The night is calling ♪
♪ I have to go ♪
♪ The wolf is hungry ♪
♪ He runs the show ♪
Keep it up, man,
♪ He's licking his lips ♪
♪ He's ready to win ♪
♪ On the hunt tonight ♪
This guy's pretty good,
♪ Here I am ♪
♪ Rock you like a hurricane ♪
♪ Here I am ♪
♪ Rock you like a hurricane ♪
♪ Here I am ♪
♪ Rock you like a hurricane ♪
You've got it,
♪ Here I am ♪
♪ Rock you like a hurricane ♪
♪ Here I am ♪
- I think that was pretty good, - Good job, buddy,
Hey, Noodle, I think I'm gonna have to go big
if I want to win this thing,
No, you don't, Your dad's alive, remember?
Yeah, of course I remember, That just happened,
Listen, I'm gonna do a backflip,
You'll turn upside down,
I know,
- No, he could hurt himself, - What is he doing?
Team Boodle,
Dad Doodle,
This is it,
Go, go, go, Go, Bo, go,
Oh, Jackson nailed a fantastic backflip!
That might be enough to get him on the podium,
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
Oh, looks like Jackson isn't done yet,
- What are you doing? - I don't know!
That there's another wall,
How'd he do that?
And with that thrilling one and a quarter backflip,
your winner tonight has to be internet sensation
Beauregard Jackson,
Hey, yeah, what?
Okay, someone get me out of here!
You did it! You got him through it,
You did it, I'm proud of you,
- I'm so proud of you, - It's okay, let it out,
Beauregard Davis Jackson,
that's me and I am a winner,
So that's the story of how
I did not take over my father's company,
And I learned that I had a father,
I help my Dad out whenever he needs
real good business advice, but he's still in charge,
He put Jason in charge of new management policy
at the company,
No dicks allowed, You know what I mean?
Oswald became a real racing fan,
And he found his dream gal, one of the Heart Stopper girls,
Tommy spent thirteen days in captivity
before he was discovered by search and rescue,
He has devoted his life to porta potty safety,
Once his bones healed, Eskandar took his love for speed
and became a world-class mustachioed drag racer,
And now he's back in a wheelchair,
Chrissy still might take over the company someday
but my Dad is making her learn the business
from the ground up,
Mandy became a best selling author,
breaking gender and social stereotypes
with her acclaimed book, "Why Pink is for Boys",
- Team Boodle, - Team Boodle,
Noodle and I,
well, we make sure that every kid gets a chance
to feel like a winner,
Welcome to Boodle Park,
Our own little slice of country paradise,
Come on, come on, come on, guys,
Oh, I almost forgot about myself,
I live in my hometown with the greatest family
a man could ever want,
I have a beautiful wife, two wonderful boys,
Get in here,
Sure, one boy's my age and one boy's a baby,
but they're both wonderful,
Put your arm around your mom,
And I am a winner because I have people who love me,
Oh, you guys look beautiful,
Here we go, Oh!
I'm okay!
Team Boodle,
These colors, do not,,,
I can't say that with a straight face,
These colors do not run,,,
red, white,
and Bo,
Forget it, I quit,
We quit! Skandar, we quit,
Everybody in line, take your beef chips
and shove 'em up your buttholes,
I'm done,
He don't need us taking care of him anymore,
He's got Vanessa now,
Yeah, well, Vanessa, she's a piece,
That's what I'm worried about,
Hold on, this is,,, I've never had an iPhone before,
You're a ray of fucking sunshine,
You can't say sunshine,
You're a ray of fucking sunshine,
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
God damn it,
Fuck you,
That may be the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard,
Yeah, dick hole,
- Oswald, - I was just trying it,
That does not come,,, that does not sound right
- coming out of your mouth, - I didn't,,,
As I heard it, it felt wrong,
Yeah,
Bo, I'm in! I'm in!
All right!
Got any Funyuns left?
That had to be a trophy winner there,
Holy shit!
You're a big boy, aren't you?
Might have to put you through college,
Woo!
Can I lick on your neck?
- Yes! - I meant your boobies,
I was just afraid to ask,
Oh, God,
You're so cute and dumb,
Oh, my boy,
It's there, you just gotta hit that gas,
What's-what's my line there?
All right, Bo, now you're gonna have to give it
a little more,,, fuck, What's my first line?
All right, Bo, you're gonna have to give her
a little more,,, fuck, What's my first line again?
Wait, the door is locked?
Heart Stoppers?
I do like taurine and gurana,
Let me try that again,
Heart Stoppers?
I do like things that taste like pennies,
Heart Stoppers?
Hmm, I do like unnecessary violent energy,
Heart stoppers?
I do like sweating and having suicidal thoughts,
Act natural,
Hit him in the knees,
You know, like Tonya Harding did to Nancy Kerrigan?
What? No,
That was terrible, she was such a beautiful skater,
Yeah, thanks for playing you country piece of shit,
- Okay, - Walking rape kit,
Okay,
Bag of dicks,
Nice to meet you,
You look like you're in the pushup position with like
kind of throwing up a little bit right there, yeah,
- 'Cause I'm trying to,,, - Shut up!
It's easier if you just shut up
when she's close to you,
Punch me, yeah, you can try punching me
in my face, you fucking cock,
- You wanna go? - Jason, stand back,
I work with this, You think I can't take you?
Oh, my God, that was,,, that was really not safe,
Not safe? Not,,, it wasn't,
You probably wear condoms, don't you?
Oh, my God,
You gotta roll the dice once in a while my friend,
You gotta live on the edge,
Like I feel like Scarface, you know what I mean?
I haven't seen it,
- You look handsome with it, - Thank you,
You do, let me see it,
Up, up by your,,, oh, my God,
Looking good,
Who is he?
Benjamin Franklin, I just,,, I just said it,
Oh, he was a president,
- No, he wasn't a,,, - He wasn't?
Yes,
Why'd they put him on the money?
This is some Illuminati shit if you ask me,
Okay,
I was born deaf and then, then a doctor fixed my ears
and I had like super sensor ears,
Wow, that seems like a whole different movie,
I have, yeah, I have a lot of ideas,
Um, I-I wanna be a movie star my whole life,
I have this idea where I'm in a racing movie
about me and a monkey,
and it's called "Going Bo-nannas",
You know, like an action series starring me
and a Native American named Arrow
and it would be "Bo and Arrow",
And we solve mysteries, you know?
I don't know I just,,, I got a lot going on
right now, you know?
This thing supposed to be plugged in?
I'm gonna go get a nurse,
Oh, my God,
Can you breathe?
Can you,,,
- Should I breathe into it? - Yeah, breathe into it,
Give him oxygen I guess,
You can't just ask these people,
They're Californians,
They re too high all the time,
They don't know what you're saying,
You know it's legal here?
- It's legal! - Sure,
Motocross?
Does he know how to ride Motocross?
He got balls, don't he? He ain't no castrato,
I don't know what that is,
It's when you have your dick and balls cut off,
I thought it was the name of a racer,
He ain't him either,
-Eric Castrato, you're right,,,
-No that's the city,
San Juan Castrato,
Yup, I mean that girl is hard to miss,
On a scale of ten she's an eighty,
Or a sixty-nine, you know?
No, I'm kidding, I respect her too much,
Yeah, I'm gonna marry her,
Have babies,
Move to the country,
- Yeah? - You know, get a farm,
Like three bedroom, two bath, nothing over the top,
Oh, my hair!
Oh, it's not gonna be the same after this,
Noodles, Noodles,
Noodles,
- All right, now,,, - Noodles,
Steak would be good,
Oh, I made contact with his chin,
Stop,
Ooh-wee!
You show 'em who's boss with that Texas truck, Noodle,
That's right, do it,
City boy don't know what's up,
Don't know which way,
Why don't you slap his dick with your,,,
There you go, nice,
A little harder, a little harder,
there you go, Hold on, hold on,
That was,,, all right,
Do you ever shut up?
Yeah, I can if you just give me the word
and I'll stop talking,
- Take my shoes off, - Take your shoes off?
- Yes, - Okay,
That's pretty easy for you to do yourself
but I can,,, okay,
Almost finished,
Shake it off,
Tap it out,
Yup,
Hi, man, nice to meet you,
Good luck out,,, are you okay?
- Yeah, - Okay,
Buddy?
Oh, God,
- Yeah, I'm gonna need that, - Probably,
All right, head in, then,,,
Okay,
- I'm good! - Oh, you're real good,
Are you a scientist?
Kind of, I guess,
I love stars,
All right, Bo's about to start, buddy,
Bo's about to start, Are you with me?
- Do you need some help? - No, no, I'm good,
Push it, push it,
I'm good, I'm good,
He inherits nothing!
Oh, you get in here too,
Okay,
- You've been Boodled, - You're strong,
I've got a boner again,
Cut,
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