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You are a very funny man,
He chose the bear trap,
Yeah, why?
You got a handgun and an axe,
- What's wrong with these? - They're boring,
- I don't want 'em, - Oh, man,
Adam, it's called a trap
for a reason,
The intended victim has to stumble onto it,
And what do the rules say?
The rules, which I believe we all signed off on,
says that the bear trap mechanic
doesn't function like other murder weapons,
You cannot wield a bear trap
with intention,
Okay, so I take the gun out
and I shoot him,
Bang, bang, bang!
I killed him,
Not so fast, tiger,
That's a quiet zone, can't do that,
Gotta go back to the safe house,
Are you gonna tell me that I can't use a bear trap
and he can fucking nail clip someone to death?
I mean, he's right there, tell him yourself,
It was the best option,
And how many points of damage did the nail clippers do?
- One point, - And what about,
uh, the baseball bat?
The sword?
Okay, it was the funniest option,
Actually I can kinda see your point,
Imagine clipping your nipple tips,
- Don't, - Adam,
Barrett's not playing to win,
- Why do I have to play to win? - Because that's why
- we play games, - No, that's why you play games,
Ugh, how are we doing?
Still failing,
V,V, Stubbs ever fail a Gamechanger campaign?
Nope,
Never asked for crowdfunding, not once,
Literally everything this guy has ever put out
has been a fucking hit,
I don't know how he does it,
Guys, we made $200 in donations,
We gotta start somewhere, right?
I mean, it doesn't matter if we never get any of it,
Is someone standing in the way of your dreams?
Well, I have the perfect solution,
Just murder, bury, win, yay!
Hi, I'm Adam,
I'm here to tell you about a new murder mystery board game,
The twist: You're the killer,
I'm not watching this video again,
Hey, hey, guys, look, a new donation,
$150 from you know who, anonymous,
That's five donations, $350 total,
and all from anonymous,
Five donations, 10 percent of our goal,
That's pretty good for a first run,
Let's stay optimistic,
Murder, Bury, Win,
Part One: The quick start guide to murdering
your intended victim,
First rule: Don't freak out,
What do you want? You know what you want,
You want to kill,
You want to do this,
But can you do this?
Fuck yeah, you can do this,
You can't give up,
You can't stop moving,
You've got to find that person
and, well,
that reminds me,
Second rule: Find the perfect murder weapon,
And even if you don't think you can kill
with what you've got, try to kill 'em anyway,
Third rule: Don't stop the pursuit,
If he gets out of your grasp, keep on chasing him,
because if you don't, they will,
and in this game, there can only be one winner,
Well, you won't find anyone else that works as hard as I do,
and, um,,,
What's that?
A record?
Yes, that's part of the,
I mean, does it really matter?
- Yes, - It does?
Appreciate you checking in,
We'll contact you later,,,
Hey, um, why don't you go fuck yourself?
Excuse me?
Adam Hughes speaking,
- Yo, you remember this? - Oh, yeah, I sure do,
You know it ran on Gamechanger?
- Really? - I ended up donating to it,
and went all in for the full reward,
They sent me this colorful package
with the game inside, a t-shirt,
some stickers,
Campaign made a million dollars,
- Wow, - Fucking hate this game,
- Really, why? - Yeah, hell yeah,
It was a simple idea,
Anybody can come up with crude drawings
and immature humor, you know?
But, I guess if it sells,
that's the kind of shit people like,
Yeah, did a lot better than Murder, Bury, Win,
A million times better,
You know, the difference is that, like, our game
is actually great, you know?
Like, it's nuanced,
Even though it's not finished, it has just as much depth as
any of these Victor Von Stubbs games, you know?
I'm telling you, one day I'm gonna walk
through these doors and be standing right there
with a copy of the most badass murder fantasy board game
ever created, Murder, Bury, Win, you feel me?
Mark my words,
and you know whose names are gonna be on the box?
Ours,
Meet me in the back, now,
Yes, sir, yes,
Yes,
They're,,, they're right here, sir,
They're right here,
Uh, okay, we are live, sir,
- Hello, Adam? - Yes,
- Am I on speaker? - You are, sir,
So, I understand I'm speaking to the three creators
of Murder, Bury, Win,
That would be Adam, and Barrett, and Chris,
- Is that right? - That's correct, sir,
- Yes, - And it's just the three of you
- right now? - Yes,
Excellent,
First of all, I don't give out my name over the phone,
It's not a you thing, it's a safety thing,
- Okay, are you there? - We're here, sir,
Great, so I understand you three live in Willits,
- That's correct, - And are you talking to anyone
- about your game? - Well, we tried
with the Gamechanger campaign, but it,,,
Yeah, yeah, obviously, are you talking to
any game publishers about your game?
No, not really,
Not really, or no?
No,
Comic book or young adult adaptations?
- No, - Have you taken any steps
to get your game made beyond the Gamechanger site?
No,
Does anybody know about your game
outside of the three of you?
- No, - Absolutely not,
I hear two voices,
I'm sorry, no,
Okay,
If it meant the difference between your game being made
or disappearing into Gamechanger obscurity,
could you keep this conversation a secret?
- Absolutely, - Yes,
- Sure, - And I want you to be honest,
Okay?
Is your game any good?
Sir, I believe Murder, Bury, Win is the next,,,
Murder Wall,
Come over, let's talk about your game,
Come over?
I'm close,
Sure, when?
Hey, now is good,
Adam, take me off the speaker phone,
See ya soon, guys,
Yes, sir,
I'm looking forward to it, too,
Yes, we'll be there very soon,
"Close" my ass,
Seven buses, Adam,
It's just right up this road,
You said that an hour ago,
- I'm saying it now, - Do you even trust this guy?
- I'm sure it's fine, - Do you have a picture of him?
- No, why? - You think he might be
- one of the anonymous donors? - Probably all of 'em,
No, it's gotta be different people,
Nope, it's one person, it's the same IP address,
- You can check that? - Yeah, sure did,
Hey, I think this is it, guys,
We're going to get fucking murdered,
- We'll be fine, Barrett, - You'll be fine, Adam,
Guys,
- Yeah, hey, can you hold this? - Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Be careful, careful, you got it?
I,,, I think so, is this gonna go off?
It might go off, it's a fucking bear trap,
- Do you got it? - I think so,
You sure you have it? Well, get it,
- Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, - You got it?
Come on in, guys,
Come on in, come on,
Put it back where it goes,
I have a spot for it,
Yeah, you see that?
Right there on the old wall,
The big, empty spot,
Bear trap shaped,
Got it, feel good?
Have a seat,
Make yourself comfortable,
So,
let me see if I have this straight,
Adam, Barrett,
Chris,
Those are our names,
Relax,
You're not in trouble,
Although I can kinda see why your Gamechanger didn't pan out,
Why is that?
Uh, because you got people attacking each other
with bear traps, and that makes no goddamn sense,
Well, we got the idea from,,,
Murder Wall, so,
Come on, that's a fantasy,
You get to inhabit different characters
with weird names like Captain Custard,
and beat people over the head with chandeliers,
But, Murder, Bury, Win is wish fulfillment,
right?
You get to be yourself,
You have a framework that people want to identify with,
but you're pushing them away by being unrealistic,
Let me ask you this:
Who hasn't daydreamed about killing someone?
Come on, show of hands,
Yeah, even I can identify with wanting to kill a few people,
Three actually, quite recently,
You have a lot of weapons, Mister,,,
So, I saw this game
with a great idea,
But, this great idea of a game,
when I looked more closely at it,
something was off,
Murder, bury, and win,
There was something missing,
But, if these young men knew how to fix the problems,
they could take their game directly to
Milton fucking Bradley himself and get signed on the spot,
But, they couldn't fix it,
I saw these scoundrels,
and I said to myself,
"Hey,
how can I monetize this?"
So, I lured them out into the forest,
and convinced them to bring their game with them,
knowing they had nowhere else to turn
and hadn't told a single person about me,
I welcome them into my home,
- and got 'em, - Hold up, back the fuck up,
Motive,
Motive, guys,
Your game is missing some basic elements,
and that's just one of them,
You can't kill someone without a motive,
That's just sociopathic,
and mean,
Wait, so that, what you just did,
was all an act?
The game is good,
Like I said, it needs a little work,
It's missing a certain je ne sais quoi,
- I wanna fix it, - Well, sir,
with all due respect, why should we trust you?
Adam, I don't get paid when I go home sick,
- We need to go, - What, why?
- He said he wants to murder us, - Oh, to be fair,
- that was an act, - He put a bear trap
- in your fucking face, - I talk about bear traps
- in the video, - You can't fucking,,,
Shut up,
No fucking way, wait, how did you get this?
This is the very first edition of Murder Wall,
Do you know how rare this is?
I mean, there wasn't even a chandelier in this version,
Take all the time you need,
Ah, shit,
You're V,V, Stubbs?
You made Murder Wall,,, that is the Murder Wall,
That's real,,, that,,, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, that's the,,, wait, board game of the year,
You're,,, you're Victor Von fucking Stubbs!
Oh, my God, dude!
From Steal the Corpse to, uh,
Mummy Picnic, to Apex,
to Hangman's Noose, Penguin Conquest,
Monkey Panic,
- Killer Trees! - Killer Trees, oh, shit!
This is Victor Von fucking Stubbs!
You know a lot about me,
Oh, I know your career inside and out,
Sir,
it is an honor,
You look a lot younger than I imagined,
I assume you're vegan?
Pescatarian, actually,
Well, thank you, I do well not getting my face
all over the internet,
You guys okay?
- We're so much better now, - Yeah, yeah, I wasn't scared,
- No, - Listen,
I know how hard you must've worked on this,
and how painful it must've been when everyone,
and I do mean everyone, turned their backs on you,
I know what it's like to see greatness stifled,
But, fear not,
I see you,
I get you,
And I think I know where your game went wrong,
Please allow me,
Victor Von fucking Stubbs,
the honor of assessing the playability
of Murder, Bury, Win,
Ohh!
Oh, shit!
Oh, this cannot be real, this is so crazy,
Yeah!
Okay, so I put the Murder deck and the Bury deck upside down
on the,,, where?
There's no dedicated space on the board to house the cards?
That's fine, they look great on my custom-made table,
Now, Unforeseen Circumstances,
the events that will get in the way of our murder,
These standby also on my table
in the event that we land on the appropriate space,
- What's next? - Motive,
Maybe it makes sense to put it here,
There ya go, now we're thinking,
And, Mr, Stubbs, if you don't mind, sir,
Motive:
He has a lot of money,
Motive: He abuses his power,
Motive:
He's standing in the way of my dreams,
Sounds like he'd be your father, right?
Next, we draw three Murder cards
and three Bury cards,
then dispose of the two Bury cards that we don't want,
So, just out of curiosity,
which cards did you dispose of?
"Hide it in a coffin,"
and "Meat grinder,"
"Feed to dogs," and "Eat it,"
- Good, - "Encased in cement,"
"Melted,"
Why not "Melted"?
There's not really any space on the game board for that,
I can only do it in the junkyard,
- It's not very practical, - Are you fucking kidding me?
You don't see the practicality in melting a body?
You can dissolve a body anywhere,
Guys,
This is a container of sodium hydroxide,
lye, your typical corrosive drain cleaner,
A little bit of this with a little bit of water,
you can melt skin, bones, and even teeth
in a matter of a few hours, two hours even, tops,
What, are you looking it up?
Barrett, put your phone away,
Put it away,
You guys are nerds,
Trust me, it's an incredibly useful way
of disposing of bodies,
Have you, uh,,,
Have I what?
Have I used lye?
We're in the forest,
Critters,
Critters die around here,
Sometimes you try different means
of disposing of them, so they don't go on
digging each other up, otherwise you gotta
dig a deep grave every time, and who has time for that?
Are we good? Good,
Which card you keep?
"Remove identifying features,"
Oh, okay, so cut off the fingers,
pull out the teeth,
Does that sound practical to you?
- No, - Exactly,
Melting the body is much simpler,
Go on, you can switch cards,
I'll allow it,
Okay, guys,
Let's put together our weapons
to concoct the perfect murder,
Bad news, Adam, a cop has stumbled across the scene,
he pulls out a gun, and he shoots you dead,
Uh, no, actually I go to jail for five turns,
I'm not actually dead,
Okay, okay, we can end there,
But, I haven't gotten a chance
to kill the intended victim yet,
Yeah, but we get the idea, right?
It's cyclical gameplay,
You go round and round, back and forth
almost to the end, back to the beginning,
fuck him up, he heals in the hospital,
forever and ever until you don't fuck up,
It's kinda repetitive, isn't it?
Yeah, we've been meaning to
work on a few things,
Oh, so you knew it was unfinished?
You put it online before it was ready?
No, don't answer that,
When I was your age, I made choices
I wouldn't necessarily make today,
But, yeesh, that's the game you made,
It needs more than a little work if you ask me,
Well, sorry, guys,
Wish we could go deeper today,
Hey, don't look so down,
Not bad, not bad for a first go,
Well, sir, um,
I think that if we could spend a little more time together,
- we could finish the game, - I don't have time for this,
Not today, I'm sorry,
Or maybe we could leave the game here with you
and we could all come back,
Mr, Stubbs, I really admire your work,
I mean, there's gotta be another way we could do more,
right?
Hey,
Wait a minute,
Just like that,
a lightbulb appears overhead,
It's crazy,
It's impulsive,
But I can't ignore this feeling!
What feeling?
I knew there was a reason I invited you,
- What's that? - Ah, I can't,
- I shouldn't, - Shouldn't what?
Oh, fuck it, I'm gonna make this right,
I'm gonna make something happen for you,
I even have,,, wow, I even have
all the paperwork in my room,
I'm gonna publish your game,
- With all of your original art, - Oh, my God!
And all of the chills intact,
Fuck yes,
Once we get the kinks worked out and I find that
big missing piece, I think it'll be successful,
Here's what we're gonna do: You're gonna sign some papers
and I'm gonna pay you a generous amount
in cash today,
Fuck yes!
- Are you in? - I'm in!
Now, all you have to do
is sign,
and then print your name on the dotted line,
highlight it in yellow, after that,
you'll initial to the last page,
Once you sign, until you see Murder, Bury, Win
on the shelves of your local game store,
you have never even heard of it,
So, when can we start telling people
- that we're working with you? - Just sign, abide by
the legally binding document, and you'll be okay,
Oh, the next document is confirmation of cash payment,
once you get the cash, you sign that, we're done,
Okay, cool, and then,,,?
And then, you go home and make another game,
if you want, maybe it'll do better,
Might even get some people to fund it next time,
What about Murder, Bury, Win?
Uh, well, jeez, Chris,
I really don't know how to say this,
technically, once you buy something,
it no longer belongs to the store,
Wait, but I thought we were working with you,
Sure, you are, you're my three bright,
brilliant, ambitious
game testers,
Game testers?
Sir,
we made this game,
My name's got to be on the box,
And I'll put you on the website as a game tester,
I poured my soul into this,
You too?
Listen, boys,
- I hear you, - Do you?
Yeah,
You know what, you guys should just go,
Now, pack it in, have a nice day,
I mean, but what about the game?
The game?
I don't need the game,
How much money were you willing to buy this for?
- Adam! - What?
We can just make another game,
$3,000, cash,
Oh, fuck,
Not bad, right?
Fuck yes,
Guys, absolutely, $3,000 cash today
for each of us,
You gotta admit, that is a good fucking deal,
- To split, - What the fuck, man?
- I am insulted, - Yeah, we ran our campaign
for $3,500,
He's trying to shortchange us,
Yeah, that seems a little low,
Shit, Puppies on Fire made like $10 million on their,,,
Don't fucking talk to me about Puppies on Fire,
Nobody saw that coming,
Not even me,
That campaign should not have done as well as it did,
Now, there's an entire industry of wannabes to sift through,
Rabbits on the Toilet, Kangaroos Versus Ninjas,
Hangnail Hangover, heard of 'em?
Of course you haven't, because for every
Puppies on Fire that strikes it big
there were 10,000 campaigns that failed!
You should be grateful you got anything at all,
- Come on, guys, let's go, - Go on,
Run your fucking campaign again,
You're not gonna make any more money
than you did last time, I can tell you that much,
or at least you're not gonna make as much as the money
that Barrett put in himself,
Why would you say that?
Because not a single person actually donated
- to your campaign, - We had five donors,
Yeah, and they all came from your friggin' credit card,
Mr, Anonymous,
You guys think you could slip one past me?
You think you could swindle an old man?
Oh,
What, what, you,,,
you guys didn't know?
How the fuck would you know that?
I got a great read on scammers,
Why would you put money into our own campaign?
Well, there is literally no reason for not signing now,
The takeaway here is that literally no one believed in you
or your ideas, but I did,
I'm here to help, just sign the papers,
Look, your friends are going to,
No,
You're crushing their dreams,
Sign the paper, Barrett,
Hey, are you gonna fuck this up?
How did Mr, Stubbs know that it was me
who was contributing to the campaign?
- Answer me that, guys, - Can you guys pin him down
- or something? - Pin me down?
Not one person thought our idea was any good,
then the guy who created all the games we love
comes along and wants to take our idea for his own,
Ha, yeah, I've seen this shit,
He's just stealing off the backs of people of color,
Oh, okay,
I'm white,
Adam, you just come up with
sick, twisted shit from the bowels of your mind,
Chris and I do all the hard work,
Art is hard, V,V,,
and I'm not gonna be shortchanged!
- Just sign the fucking paper, - This is some sick
- colonial bullshit, - Give me my fucking game!
- No, no! - Give it to me!
No, absolutely not!
- Oh! - Oh, shit!
- Oh, my God! - Oh, oh, oh, God, oh!
- Oh, my God, - Barrett, is he okay?
Oh!
- Ugh! - Fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck, dude!
Ah, he's bleeding out!
Okay, maybe he'll be fine, we just gotta get him some help,
No, no, definitely not,
- Are we sure? - No, no, with a crushed skull
like that, he is 100 percent dead,
Then what should we do?
- Call the cops! - Oh, okay, okay,
- Yeah, that's good, - Yeah, okay,
- Okay, - Okay, okay,
- Okay,
Okay,
- We can't go to the cops, - And why the fuck not?
- 'Cause we murdered him, - What, Adam, don't,,,
Ooh, don't,,, how could you say that?
Have you looked at your internet search history lately?
No, why?
- Who's that? - Who do you think?
It's the fucking cops,
Don't,,, to everyone else in the world, we murdered him,
No, V,V, Stubbs invited us over,
- Exactly, - From an anonymous number,
- He wanted our silence, - He wanted our game,
The contracts, the NDAs,
- Anybody can make a contract, - Guys, it doesn't even matter,
okay? All I have to do is just call the cops
and explain to them what's going on,
You don't have a fucking record,
You don't think I have any reason to be scared, Adam?
- How so? - You don't fucking get it,
- do you? - You think I don't get it?
No, you definitely don't get it,
- Give me my phone, - Make me,
Guys, listen, we're making a game about murder,
This can all make sense if we're just extra clear about it,
And the part where Barrett led a wild goose chase
- around his place, - Who's coming at me?
Hm, sounds like a motive to murder to me,
Adam, nobody has anything to gain by killing Mr, Stubbs!
He was my hero, for fucks' sake,
Now, can we just call the cops?
Okay,
So, he just died in a bear trap?
Uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's how it fucking happened,
Well, my fingerprints are all over
- that fucking thing, Chris! - But, that's just
such a ridiculous way to murder someone,
Look, no one would think that,,,
Look, Adam, can you just sit still, please?
Bear trap,
It is a card in a game,
Nobody cares about the game, Adam!
That game is the only excuse we have for being here,
You think they're not gonna care about a game that includes
explicitly murdering someone with a bear trap?
With the only motives being, "He has a lot of money,"
"He abuses his power,"
and "He's standing in the way of my dreams,"
Throw them away!
- You mean hide the evidence? - What evidence?
We didn't kill anybody!
What about my fingerprints?
- Just wipe 'em off! - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Everybody can see us,
Oh, please, come on, we're in the middle of the woods
with no one else around us,
Hey, what the fuck are you doing?
We have to dispose of the body,
No, put Mr, Stubbs down!
Adam, what the hell's the matter with you?
I get it, now is not the time
to be impulsive,
We'll be fine, it's not too late,
All we have to do is take the body back to where it was
- and remove the prints, - No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
He's staying right here, we're not taking him
- anywhere else, - Why is he in the bathroom?
There is so much blood,
We tried to help him,
All right, all right, look, let's just back away
from Mr, Stubbs for a moment,
All right, Adam, Adam, come on,
Step away from Mr, Stubbs, come on,
Guys, guys, sit down,
Please,
We're experts in murder,
We made a game about it,
Now is not the time to play our game,
Look,
nobody knows we're here,
V,V, Stubbs made sure to keep us a secret,
Now, somewhere in this house
is $3,000 meant for the three of us,
He's dead, he doesn't need it anymore,
Even if, somehow,
they believe what we tell them,,,
- Which would be the truth, - Even if,
What then?
Chris, do you think Milton Bradley
is gonna contact you
and ask you what you're working on?
I guarantee you, if we go to the cops,
from this day forward, we will be known
as the three guys that caused the death
of the great indie board game creator
Mr, V,V, fucking Stubbs,
Your dreams,
they're gone,
No one will wanna work with you,
let alone put your name on a board game,
And me,
add it to the list of reasons as to why I'm unemployable,
Barrett, you can talk about the truth all you like,
but you know just as much as either one of us do
just how insane this looks,
Now, we will probably be so broken up from the fallout
that we will go our separate ways,
Well, at least tell me this:
If we tell the truth,
do you like what your life looks like after today?
Pick a card,
What's it say?
"Encase in cement,"
Do you know how to do that?
- No, - Barrett?
Pick another,
"Feed to wild boars,"
Not very practical,
"Remove the identifying features,"
Remove the identifying features,
Like I said,
we wrote the game on murder,
and we can probably win
if we play our cards right,
I need some air,
Sit still, please,
All right, look, people do stuff like this
when they're overwhelmed,
We tend to make stupid choices in crazy situations,
- I don't, - Well, we gotta calm him down,
comfort him or something, because things
are getting way out of hand,
I mean, what,,, what's something that Adam likes?
I don't know, violence,
Okay, what else does he like?
Uh, coddling, indulging his bullshit,
Are you gonna be helpful or not?
Fine, I'm sorry,
Hey, with all that love that's inside of you,
all that goodness that makes you you,
I need that,
All right, and I know you think that Adam
is just only my friend, but trust me,
he needs you, too, especially right now,
- Okay, I'll be nice, - Just relax, just be nice,
- I'll be nice, I'll be nice, - He's more sensitive than you,
- All right? - Ahh!
What was that?
I don't know,
Holy fuck! What the fuck?
Oh!
You fucking lunatic!
I knew he was crazy, but not this fucking crazy!
Well, what's the point in doing all this planning
if we're not gonna actually use it?
That's a real person, Adam!
It's not a real person anymore,
You think he's got an opinion about all this?
Hey, Stubbs, Stubbs, you got a take on all this?
Oh, you don't, because you're dead?
He's dead, guys,
Okay, we'll cut him up and spread the body parts,
Oh, oh, where?
Wherever, did you forget that we're in the middle
of the fucking woods with nobody else around us,
We can fix this, okay, guys?
Everything will be fine,
Adam, you know not what you do,
The fuck?
Actually, fuck being nice,
Now, what in the fuck is this, hm?
What do you call this shit?
This officially looks like cold-blooded murder!
We can't go to the police now, nah, not after this shit!
Oh, no, hell no!
What was that sound?
It's the cops,
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
What do we do, what do we do?
Shut the fuck up,
Hey,
Hi,
How's it going?
We got a 911 call from this address,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you sure did,
What's going on?
Yeah, you know what, funny story,
I ended up cutting myself pretty good
and just got into a panic over it
and freaked out a little bit,
but I got it under control,
But I thought I hung up before it reached the tone,
That is a lot of blood,
Yeah, but it's cool, it's cool, I got it,
Did I get your name?
Oh, God,
Chris,
Chris?
Chris what?
Christopher, actually,
Christopher actually,
10-1, I do not read you,
Repeat, 10-1, I do not read,
I'm gonna take a look inside,
Sure, of course,
You have nunchucks, axes, guns, and knives,
- Please explain, - You mean the wall?
- Sure, the wall, - That's the Murder Wa,,, Wall,
The Murder Wall,
It's not literally used for murdering,
- Okay, explain, - It's a replica,
fairly expensive replica,
From, from the game?
Murder Wall, you've never heard of it?
It was pretty big, it was a hit,
Uh, yeah,
Barry, shut,,, shut your mouth,
Your mouth, shut it,
- Sit down, - Okay, okay,
Sit,
I think I know you from somewhere,
The store in Willits, right, the board game store,
- What's the name of that store? - No, no,
that doesn't, that doesn't ring a bell, mm-mm,
10-1, 10-1, uh,
I do not copy, 10-1,
Oh my God,
I do not understand, 10-1,
Okay, sir, look, I'm just here minding my business,
just trying to work on my game,
That's all,
Your game,
Yeah,
Oh,,,
my God, oh my God,
You're V,V, Stubbs?
You're V,V, Stubbs, you're V,,,,
you're V,V, Stubbs,
You're V,V, Stubbs,
Okay, all right, you got me, you busted me,
I'm, I'm V,V, Stubbs, yeah,
- Shh, - Oh man!
Oh, wow,
I was gonna say you're the best kept secret in town, but,,,
Just blew my cover, but yeah, you caught me,
You know, I do like to get away and this is a nice retreat,
Yeah, too bad my face is just plastered all over the internet,
People just recognize me left and right out there,
and it's just too much, so, you know, this place is,,,
- Nice and quiet, - Yeah,
The woods, so you can focus,
- Yeah, - So, uh,
where else are you based out of?
Oh, you know, just here and there,
Yeah, you know,
One place to another,
God, you are so young, you're so much younger than I,,,
you are the youngest entrepreneur
I believe that I have ever met,
Thank you, thank you, I, I get that a lot,
Wow, I am speechless,
So you're working on a new game,
Well, yeah,
Don't tell me,
Uh, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey!
What are you doing, what are you doing?
I'm looking at the game,
No, don't, don't do that,
It's not finished,
Oh!
Oh no, no, no, I'm so sorry!
I've seen too much, I won't look!
Is it a new game, can you tell me that much?
It is a new game,
That is correct,
Am I the first person that has seen it?
First person in the whole world,
I am just so, huh,,,
Badge 63, break-in, respond,
10-1, 10-1,
This is so cool,
Oh, uh, yeah, you must be a fan,
Oh, I play Penguin Conquest with my son all the time,
- That's great, - Yeah,
We play other games too, Monkey Panic,
Apex, Columbus Strikes Again,
- Cool, - And Puppies on Fire,
Not my game, that, that, that's no V,V, Stubbs,
Oh, I'm sorry,
It was so popular, I figured it was yours,
No, it's fine,
It's a simple game, but my boy, he sure does love it,
Sometimes I let him win just because
I love seeing him get so excited,
I mean, when my puppy catches up in flames,
I love seeing his eyes just light up,
Mm,
My boy and I, we were having a lot of trouble communicating,
We weren't talking very much and, uh,
then he brought Penguin Conquest home
and it really,,,
There's something about games, it just brings people together,
- I don't know what it is, - Ah, again,
We've been through a lot this year, little Jake and I,
We don't have much going on in our lives here,
but when we play games together,
it's like we can go on an adventure,
We fight the bad guys, race to the finish,
take over the world,
Nowadays, games are the only way I interact with my son anymore,
We can sort of step away from ourselves
just for a little while,
Escaping,
Well,,,
I don't think that's escaping per se,
I think that's more of a way
to tap into who you are, right,
and hone in on your imagination,
Some of the best games connect us that way,
Wow,
Yeah, I mean,
your games sure do,
I don't like to be hyperbolic,
but meeting you has been really,,,
I don't even, I don't even know how to say it,
What is that game store in Willits?
Your web is up,
Let's check it out,
Oh, wait, hold on,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey,
Uh, sorry,
I'm just really preoccupied on the computer,
I'm working on a lot of stuff for the new game,
It's top secret,
Oh, I'm sorry,
Yeah, so, it's,,,
Just be careful,
You do not wanna leave your password lying around like that,
Nice detective work,
- Thank you, - Good eye,
Yeah, okay,
Oh yeah, well, I'll get out of your hair,
I'm sure you have plenty to do,
Nice meeting you, Officer,,,
Everson, but you can call me Dan,
- Dan, - And what should I call you?
Chris or V,V, or what are we going with?
You can call me Stubbs,
but that's between us,
That's wonderful,
Hey, you know what, would you mind,,,
I know you're very busy, but would you mind
getting a selfie with me?
Just really quickly,
Yeah,
Sure, I can take it,
He's taking a goddamn selfie,
I'm gonna, I'm gonna kill him,
I'm going to kill him,
No, no, no, no,
No, no, okay,
I'm gonna kill Chris,
Can you hand me the machete?
Get the fuck out,
- Let me know when you're ready, - I am ready,
Uh, uh, where do I press?
The camera button right there,
- The red one, - Oh, okay, okay,
Just move your thumb down and take it,
Oh, I was trying to use my pinky,
I'm sorry,
Ah, I'm sorry, I can't take it,
It just,,, you know, it just feels wrong
to take a photo together when,,,
Jake, Jake should be here,
- Seriously? - Yeah!
Yeah, that way we can talk games
and maybe play around a bit,
take our new game for a spin,
Wow, thank you, he is going to be thrilled,
Okay, that makes me very happy,
Yeah, bring him by any time,
Okay, will do,
- Okay, - Oh, uh, shit,
He's with his mother starting from tomorrow,
I know this is a lot, but would you mind terribly
if I brought him by after my shift today?
We will not take long, I promise you, I promise you,
- I promise you, - Sure,
Sounds great,
Thank you,
- Thank you again, - Yeah, yup,
One last thing,
Would you mind terribly, if I brought them with me,
could you sign a few of his games for him?
I'd love to,
- Thank you again, - Yeah, no prob,,,
no problem,
All right,
Wait,
Officer Dan!
Stubbs,
Hey, uh, what time should I expect you?
Uh, well,,,
Badge 63, break-in, respond,
Badge 63, 10-4,
10-35, we've got a major crime in progress,
Yikes, uh, 10-4, copy that,
What's that?
What time?
I have to pick up my son in Ukiah,
so maybe a few hours?
See you then,
Chris, what the fuck are you doing?
I'm looking up how far away Ukiah is,
We need to figure this out,
What do you think I'm doing?
Do you realize what you've just done?
Why the fuck would you invite him back?
He was about to take a picture of my face,
As a celebrity, not as a suspect,
- He recognized me, - Well, I'm sure you've
just gotten everything you've ever wanted,
haven't you, Chris?
Hey, I was playing a role!
I just pulled off the performance
of a fucking lifetime, I just saved both of your asses,
Well, it sounded to me like you really enjoyed
your time with your new fan,
Well, in case you don't remember,
there's still blood behind the damn chair, Adam,
Well, it wouldn't be there if Barry hadn't pushed Mr, Stubbs
- into a fucking bear trap, - I didn't shove him,
He attacked me and fell into it himself,
Well, it's not like he had a weapon in his hands
- or anything,,, - He told you guys
- to pin me down! - Well, I didn't do anything!
You didn't do anything?
You didn't?
Who put this campaign online?
You did,
Who arranged for this little meeting?
You did,
Who moved the body?
You did!
Who tied our hands to fucking murder
by cutting into his fucking foot?
You did,
Every single step of the way, it's only been about you,
And now we're fucking trapped
without any way of turning back now
all because you decided to do everything without asking us,
And who are you to lecture me about honesty?
Really?
I put money into the campaign because I wanted
to encourage you two, I wanted to make you feel better,
Oh, wow, you're wrong, man, dead wrong,
Yeah, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, Barry,
That did kinda make me feel worse,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay?
Wait, what is this?
How did you get on to this?
What do you mean?
This is administrative access to the Gamechanger site,
How did you log on to this?
He wrote down his password right here,
Holy fucking shit,
What?
I think V,V, Stubbs owns Gamechanger,
Our campaign never failed,
He suppresses them,
Our campaign was never even seen,
If there wasn't already a motive to kill,
there you go,
Just like that, that fucker endgames our careers,
I think it's imperative that the three of us
are on the same page as to what's the next move,
Well, I wanna dispose of it,
Okay, no surprise there,
Fucking psychopath,
But all things considered, I'm okay with that,
Barry?
Um,,,
Do you really think we can go back after all of this?
No,
We can't go back,
Well, I don't know where to start,
Well, like Adam said,
we did make a game about getting away with murder,
Let's play it,
Murder, Bury, Win,
Part Two:
The quick start guide to disposing the body,
The first rule,
Clean every last drop of blood,
because nothing gets in the way of a perfect crime
like leaving a bloody foot trail behind,
- This isn't working, - Scrub harder then,
It's not strong enough,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey!
- Stop that! - Yeah, man,
that shit's extremely corrosive,
Now comes the tricky part,
The second rule,
Dispose of that body,
You sure this is gonna work?
Oh God, I hope so,
Oh, it'll work,
Third rule,
Control your chaos,
Murder can be messy, so it's up to you
to get rid of any loose threads,
Fourth rule,
Eliminate the trail to the scene of the crime,
Nothing can compromise the perfect murder
like a viral photo of you
marching to the house with an ax,
Yes,
All right,
- Okay! - What?
Done, erased, we have disappeared,
- And my credit card? - What credit card?
So impressed,
And the fifth rule,
"Work out your alibi and do it yesterday,"
Ugh,
We probably should've added that one to the top of the list,
Shit,
Okay, the best alibis are done in real time,
The only thing that we can confirm in real time
is that Officer Dan saw Chris,
Well, I went home sick, so,,,
Well, I can vouch for you, I don't have a job,
So,,,
Yeah, and you gotta quit your job anyways,
- I gotta quit my,,, - Yes,
- That's fucking bullshit, man, - Yes, you have to quit your job,
You heard what Officer Dan said,
he could roll up at any minute to the game store,
You can never be seen again,
Ever again,
In the game store,
How do I quit my job and lock myself into an alibi?
Squeeze together, we got this,
We can do this,
All right, here we go,
Smile!
You know forensic scientists can tell if a photo is fake, right?
Relax, okay?
It looks great, they won't be able to tell the difference
between this one and a fake one, you bozo,
Sent,
Receiving, receiving, receiving,
Hold on,
Oh, finally, okay,
Whoa,
Okay, uh,
not what I had in mind, but,
here we go,
Fuck,
What's wrong?
I don't know how I'm gonna quit my job,
Well, I can help with that,
I've quit more jobs than you have teeth in your head,
Yeah, sounds about right,
Okay,
Who are we writing to?
Just draft it,
Well, I need some type of context,
It's to my boss, Alan,
You think V,V, Stubbs, if he hadn't shut down our campaign,,,
That we would've been a success, I mean, maybe,
I'm kinda glad that everything happened, all things considered,
We would've mistaken that for a false sense of validation,
thinking that the game was great,
I mean, come on, look at it, it's not,,,
You didn't think the game was great?
Okay, well,
I don't like it,
Our game is just like other games, man,
Play to win, beat others,
literally beat them with a shovel,
What's the whole point of everybody competing?
I mean, games are supposed to be competitive,
That's the whole point,
What's the point in the point?
So evidently, you don't like confrontation,
- I get that, - No, you know me,
I like collaboration,
Hm, well, you know,
I like disposing of bodies with you guys,
That's pretty collaborative,
Wouldn't you say?
No,
It was a joke, man,
Nah, nah, I hear you, I hear you,
Less competition,
I can get behind that,
Done,
All right, don't send it yet,
Well, it's sending,
- I said don't send it, - What?
Well, it's gonna get you fired,
What did you say?
I said, "Fuck you fucking fuckheads
and your stupid fucking game store,
4/20 for life,"
You said you were gonna help me quit,
What, I am!
You're not seeing the benefits,
Man, you get fired, you get more perks,
I want my game on the shelf on good terms,
Adam, you forgot to crop the blood out,
You forgot to crop the blood out!
Shit,
Well, I can melt the shirt,
Yeah, that's gonna fucking help,
Gimme that,
Fuck,
Fucking idiot,
How do you forget to crop out the blood?
Well, guess we gotta cut your dumb ass,
Like hell you do,
I'll cut you right back,
Gotta rationalize the blood if it comes up, so,,,
Whoa!
Ah,,,
Man, are you gonna fuck this up?
Calm down,
Are you gonna fuck this up for the both of us?
Calm down, Chris,
Adam's only got a little bit of blood on his right shoulder,
Okay?
All he needs is a nick,
Just a little nick, okay?
Sure,
- Don't move, - Whoa!
Whoa,
Not you, let Barry do it,
He's a gentle soul,
Fair enough,
No, no, no,
No, no, no, no, no,
- No, - Okay,
- I'll do it, - No, no, no, no!
Okay, okay,
Give me the knife,
I'll do it,
Okay, I'll do it, I'll do it,
You better make up your mind,
I'll do it, I'll do it,
Give me the knife, okay?
I'll do it,
I say we do it in the bathroom,
God damn it!
Ew, why isn't he melted?
Um, Adam, I have an idea,
Maybe if you give me my phone, I can, I can check,
What, are you gonna check your goddamn emails?
We don't have time for that shit,
- Adam, will you relax? - Sorry, Barry,
We've gotta work together, not against each other,
I'll buy you a new one,
Look, we have 90 minutes until your friend comes back,
- I know, - We have to get rid of the body,
- I know, - Dissolving a body,
Not fucking practical, V,V, Stubbs,
We can eat it,
I'm just kidding,
Burn it,
- No! - No!
Okay, fine, no, geez,
Once again, remove the identifying features,
- God, - Yeah, okay,
Let's do that,
Perfect,
Well, Barry has his prints all over that thing,
Your the only one with experience!
- Jesus, Barry! - Hey!
God!
I already cut into the foot, you want me to do more?
Nobody asked you for the fucking foot,
Did we ask him for the foot, no!
Well, you have to cut me anyways,
- God, Chris, Chris, Chris, - No, no, no, no,
There's no fucking way Chris is gonna cut me,
Hey, look, if there was ever a time that we need
to come together, now's the time,
All right, let's put our heads together
and think this thing through,
All right, in order to remove the identifying features,
we're going to have to cut off the fingers
and take out the teeth, regardless,
and still bury the body,
- Chris is right, - And Barry, be real,
You can't dig that hole, all right, so that's not on you,
I can handle that,
Um, hm, smashing out the teeth, also not you,
The only person capable of doing that is you, Adam,
That's probably true,
Hey, you know, we're gonna have to just band together,
grind it out, and just work as a team,
All right, and I'll get you something else
to cut off the fingers,
I don't wanna cut off the fingers,
Just cut off the prints then,
- Just the prints? - Yeah,
I'll get something,
Look, it's gonna be hard, but you're going to do this,
- I wanted to call the police, - No, no,
Hell no, you said we were a team,
You wanted to collaborate, right?
- So that's what we're doing, - But why do I have to do that?
"I, I, I" nothing,
There is no "I" in "team,"
We are all in this together,
Chris is right,
Okay?
We're doing this,
Okay,
- Okay, - Okay?
Okay,
All right,
Oh, Barry, fuck, that hurt!
Shit, that's a lot of blood,
- Is that an artery? - Oh fuck!
- Feeling lightheaded, - Oh God, oh God, is that bad?
- Are you okay, are you okay? - How do you feel?
Feel powerful, feel good, you having a rush?
Okay, all right, well, good luck,
Hey, guys,
Mr, Stubbs is ready,
What the fuck is that?
Uh, "I'm about $50,000 in cash,"
What?
I mean, this is every single Gamechanger
V,V, Stubbs has ever purchased,
including every game asset they've ever created,
And best news is none of these are released,
Wait,
So these are ideas that haven't been used?
That's right,
That's fucking right,
Holy shit,
Holy shit!
This is incredible,
- Oh my God, - Mhm,
Uh, hello?
We have money here!
There is money here, okay?
I'm not an advocate of people dying, but,
in this case, it's okay,
Yeah!
Will you help me get my backpack please?
Hey, uh, real question here,
You guys think I need stitches for this thing?
Probably not, Did it really hurt
or are we just trying to get out of there quickly?
Yeah, man, you really hurt me,
Oh, I'm sorry,
Hold up, hold up, hold on,
Hey, I'm sorry about your phone, Barry,
I'll get you a new one,
Yeah, with your fat pile of money?
Our fat pile of money,
I just got fired,
Okay, guys, everything's gonna be okay,
Let's just get going,
No loose threads,
- No loose threads, - And just think,
now we have enough money to publish our game,
Yeah, I know, and not just the one,
You gotta take a look at these other games, man,
- They're so good, - Yeah,
What other games, what do you mean?
The games in the box,
Those are other people's games, Chris,
Those aren't ours,
Uh, hey, V,V, Stubbs, Mummy Picnic,
you care that we use some of your games?
Maybe I'll torture him, that'll get him to talk,
- Can I have that back? - No,
I thought we were gonna give the games back to people,
Why would we do that?
Mr, Stubbs bought them fair and square,
They made their choice, now he's dead and we inherit them,
Are you serious, Chris?
It's not right,
And how would we return the games, Barry?
I don't know, email them?
Saying what, what would be the explanation behind that?
Let me just figure something out,
We don't have time for that,
Gonna help me?
Okay, this is as good of a spot
to divide and conquer, isn't it?
So we'll bury the body,
- You scatter the,,, - Mutilated finger scraps,
- Okay, - And the shattered teeth,
I said, "Okay,"
Okay, you got this, man,
Okay, we'll meet back here in, uh,
how long does it take to bury a body?
I don't know, Let's say like an hour,
Okay, well, we'll text you,
Oh, crap, forgot,
Cut you off from civilization,
You good, bro?
All right,
Listen, if we don't look out for ourselves,
then who else will?
We're the little guys in this,
We can't give up, we got to be tenacious,
persistent, optimistic, but more importantly,
we got to work as a team,
Besides, getting rid of the competition, right?
Life is gonna look a hell of a lot better
from here on out,
All right, so let's bury the body,
you scatter or do whatever with the identifying features,
and we carry on with our fucking lives,
God damnit, Stubbs, you're heavy,
How much deeper?
You heard Mr, Stubbs,
Can't have critters digging him up now, can we?
Well, how deep is deep enough?
What? What, are you gonna dig six feet?
Hello?
Chris?
- Hey, wait, wait, wait, - Yeah?
We should say something,
Okay, Go ahead,
- He bailed on us, man, - He ain't bail on us,
Yeah, how big was the hole you had to dig?
Look, Adam, stop being so damn cynical,
It's about Officer Dan time,
You don't think he just took the finger scraps
and ratted on us, took the games and the money
and just,,, just threw us under the bus?
That's not Barry,
He wouldn't switch on us like that,
Go find him before he does,
- You're just gonna sit? - Yeah,
He cut me, I'm weak,
Oh, "I'm weak,"
- Yeah, go find him, - Whatever,
Hey!
What are you doing?
Give me the game,
Let me see the bag,
Hey, relax,
Relax,
Hey, the money is here,
The finger bag is done,
- Where are the games? - Ugh,
Adam, where are the games?
Barrett was burning them,
I mean that fucker was just going to town on those things,
but I saved one,
Where's Barry?
Uh, we got a new mess on our hands now,
but, uh, we're pros at this, man,
We got this,
You and I, we got this,
We got this, you and I got this,
Oh, did you want to say something?
One copy of Murder, Bury, Win,
- Yeah, that's right, - I love this game,
Have you played it?
No, I hear it's really good,
Yeah, I mean, it's selling out faster
than Murder Wall at this rate,
Hm, Oh, yeah?
Hey, you know my dad met V,V, Stubbs once?
- Hm, did he? - Yeah,
I mean, it's a secret, though, okay?
So don't tell anyone, okay, shh,
I mean, I guess he has a place around here or something,
but, you know,,,
I was supposed to meet him too,
but he was a no-show,
Go figure, right?
Perhaps he didn't want to be found,
You know, some geniuses are like that, you know?
Yeah, I mean, whatever,
I mean, it'd still be cool to meet him,
Or even the guys that made this game, that'd be cool,
Yeah, that'd be cool,
Is someone standing in the way of your dreams?
Well, I have the perfect solution for you,
Just murder, bury, win,
Hi, I'm Adam,
I'm here to tell you about
a new murder mystery board game,
The twist, you're the killer, and in order to win,
you've got to get away with it,
With me so far?
Great! Let's talk murder,
But, first, a little bit about me,
I'm a smart, driven,
passionate entrepreneur who's ready to take
the board gaming industry by storm,
And this is my friend, Chris,
Chris is smart, Chris is loyal,
Chris is a really good friend,
And he and I came up with this concept,
Just him and I, two friends,
رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال