(Alarm system howls)
(groovy music)
(Alarm system continues to howl)
Come on,
(Alarm continues to sound)
Really now?
(Alarm goes silent) Thank you very much,
(Alarm sounds again)
Fuck!
What's the matter with this alarm?
- (Mrs) Dizengoff, Dizengoff, -You owe me a million lira,
(she laughs)
(Shira) You are a witch, How is that possible?
-I am preparing your consolation prize, -Not hungry,
But I scumble another cigarette,
I have to go to my waxing appointment,
-You just got in, -Three hours ago,
-I can do the waxing, -I always wanted that,
My grandmother depilated my bikini line,
Before I can transfer the salaries, we have to do the bookkeeping,
Could you do it alone this month?
Save yourself the look,
I don't want to ship you to a retirement home, Until now,
Is it because of this new girlfriend?
She's more than just a friend, grandma,
Maria is,,,
-You have to get to know her, -No,
I know enough girlfriends,
I can definitely leave that out, Your Maria,
Because of her name or because she is not circumcised?
It's a waste of time, All Marias are a waste of time,
And moving in with someone you
know for two minutes is bad style,
-You don't do that, -It's been three months,
Better wait before you clear out the boxes, Casanova,
You are so romantic,
(she laughs softly)
Romance is in its prime for women
who have tight connective tissue,
Until now,
-Good day, ladies, -Oh, Ibrahim,
Perfect timing, Your playmate is here,
Sit down on the square, But beware,
- She's snappy today, -Aha?
-What are you doing here? -I warned you,
You said there was a crack in the wall,
You are a doctor Why do you let yourself be used for construction work?
I use them,
We want our houses to be in top
condition when we get them back,
I thought Palestinians weren't kidding about the Nakba,
Who says I'm kidding, huh?
Well then, you go wax your thing now,
And don't call it a thing,
She shines more when she is in love,
Now enough with the lard, Maybe you want cookies
Keep the seedling alive until I come from Germany,
The day will come when your children will contact the German authorities
to inform them about the dangerously intrusive Arab,
who comes to visit far too often,
I'm going now,,, fix your thing,
(upbeat rhythmic music)
-Shlomi! -Are you serious?
Oh, Shlomi, yes, sorry, I just have to find a parking space,
No, I have to be in the Old North in half an hour,
She really thinks I have time for this shit,
(Man) If she had been here earlier we wouldn't have a problem,
(Shira) Be careful, the washing machine has moved five times,
This is her last incarnation,
-Is that for me? -Mhm,
God, did I miss you, Mucki,
Thank you,
-I can not believe it, We do it, -Yes,
-No, no ticket, please! -Shira?
-Neta? -Yes,
-Jo, -I can not believe it,
(Shira) It's been years,
(Neta) What are you doing? Are you moving in or out?
-On, Maria, my friend, -Hi, nice to meet you,
-This is Neta, - I'm happy, hi,
Have you been to my bar yet? Come over,
Well, do ex-girlfriends get a discount?
Do you wanna bankrupt me?
And ex-girlfriends who were with you in India for three months?
We have to go back, We're bringing everything in right now,
-It was nice to see you again, -Yes,
Yes,
-Ah, yes,,, - See you then,
-Park your car! -Clear,
-India? -Yes,
The best landscapes, the worst digestion, don't ask,
Maybe I should ask,
Do you have to be so nice to them?
And do you have to be so cute?
Now I understand why animals mark their territory,
Does that mean you want,,,
I don't know if that's my thing,
No,
I have a better idea,
-OK, -And it's very romantic,
Wait,
I have it,
Oh,
Oops,
(Shira laughs)
A ring?
Crap,
It's okay, Mucki,
I didn't think of it like a 90s romcom,
-That's not what I meant, -I know,
Shit isn't what I
envisioned for the moment,
We can tell the children a great story for that,
Children?
-I, uh,,, -What?
Nothing at all,
-Give me your hand, -Oh my God,
(Cheers) (Shlomi) Congratulations!
Masel Tov,
(Shlomi) Jalla, grab that part,
(Man) Disgusting, Disgusting,
You are an abomination, ugh!
(soft music)
(Shira) Wait,
Is it okay?
wedding
(sing romantic song in Hebrew)
(Moan)
(both breathing heavily)
Whoever invented “lesbian bed death” knows nothing about you,
What's this?
I love that I can be your first,
Can I borrow your cell phone for a minute?
I have to tell my mother that I have found my dream woman,
You really never run out of pick-up lines,
And I fall for it every time, Mucki,
Mmm, no, that would be what I call you,
You have to come up with a nickname before the wedding,
OK,
I can do that,
Um,,,
How about,,,
You will look so beautiful in a white dress,
(she hiccups)
I didn't even know you had such straight fantasies,
Who are you calling straight straight here?
You were the one who kneeled
down to make me feel like Julia Roberts,
(Maria groans)
- Let's go have breakfast, -Mhm,
Okay but first,,,
(Shira moans softly)
No, woman, do you want to kill me?
I need water, food,
(lively jazz song)
Do you want to bite
(Cell phone vibrates)
What's up bro
Really now?
Where is she?
Man, dude, you stink,
-That's bleach, -This is vagina,
And how do you want to know?
(Maria) Ah,
It's a strange pet,
Somehow suits you, Liam,
-How do you get to the lint monster? -The rabbit is for you,
A token of my appreciation,
I do not know what you want, But the answer is no,
Why do you say no without knowing what he wants?
I will show you,
-What do you want? -God thank God you are here, Maria,
She's a lot nicer when you're around,
Spit it out, hairball,
I have to shoot a documentary for my final project,
We should choose an Arab,
Orthodox, or whatever other photogenic,
And nothing can beat my Israeli-German lesbians,
Hm?
That's why you say no first and then you ask,
The basics of survival,
-You'll get the hang of it, -Don't say no,
It's just a short film,
Ah,
-N / A? - (Shira) Okay, okay,
But we decide when to snoop around,
Fine
Take nice pictures of the "Jewish Princess",
She wanted a Jewish princess and found me,
- Miss Stasi, -I come from Stuttgart, stupid,
Southwest Germany? Google that,
East West,,,
All the same for me, You were all Nazis,
-Not all, - (both) They were all Nazis,
- (both laugh) -I have to go back,
Mom sent me out to buy things,
-Until this evening, -Mhm,
(both) Hey,
Take that with you,
Sis, nobody says that all lesbians always have to have cats,
(Shira) Good evening,
-Good evening, -Shalom Shabbat,
It is called "Shabbat Shalom",
-I remembered the important things, -OK,
(happy jazz music)
(Maria) Your mother feeds me whether I want to or not,
Your father must have the last word,
Only you can put that away from him, your favorite discipline,
I shouldn't try this without supervision,
If Ella wants to show me her rifle, I can say no,
And when Liam shakes hands with me
I don't shake them because he never washes them,
Ha, That's it, isn't it?
I want to avoid making you
regret the proposal, so I'll say yes,
Hm,,,
Speaking of engagement,,,
I, um,,,
Maybe it would be better if we,,,
Don't tell our families?
How did you know,,,
I know my parents, And yours too,
Let's say I had a clue,
And because we are a heavenly couple, From lesbian heaven,
What?
I'm just imagining what lesbian heaven looks like,
Aha,
But I want to tell my grandma,
I understand, She will definitely be happy for you,
That's asking too much,
Grandma doesn't even recognize joy when it falls on her as a Torah scroll,
Don't talk about a Holocaust survivor like that,
She is not a survivor,
She is my grandma,
WELCOME TO MINSA
NO FOREIGN COUNTRY, BUT THE LAND OF OUR ANcestors,,,
(Honking)
Can you translate this?
-Snupsi, -Snupsi?
Should that be my new nickname or do you Germans sneeze like that?
My girls,
Come here,
Hi mum,
Wow, wow, wow, oh my god, Is that the salad?
I long for this salad
since I was on a student exchange in southern Germany,
And here are the rest of the provisions,
Yes,
Only one Jew freaks out about pork,
-Thank you very much, -You're welcome,
I hide it in the back of the fridge,
-Here you are at last, -Hey,
I hardly believe you crazy lovebirds,
-You need to see the new apartment, -I was already there,
I helped Shira,
-If complaining is help, - (Man) The fifth column!
Go to Europe if it doesn't suit you!
He always yells at the TV, why?
This is an Israeliding,
We don't demonstrate, we shout at the television,
Oha,
Can we start kiddush?
-Hey, -Hi,
Have you lost weight since you were here?
Hm no, I do not think so,
(Ora) Liam!
The girls are here, we want to start kiddush,
I don't like using the sink to wash your hands,
- (Ron) Let's get started, -What is she saying?
She is happy that the whole family is in the kitchen,
I am also happy to be here,
Give yourself Hebrew lessons,
(Ora) Liam, help with the table,
Hands off the pie,
(Ella) Mom, I just wanted,,,
(Ora) My goodness, what's wrong with you guys today?
-This is private, -I dont understand,
Mom, do you notice anything about Shira's hand?
Do you have the allergy to create again?
Check it out
(Maria) I'll explain this to you later,
- (Shira) I hope you're hungry, -Delicious,
(quietly) You were with them, Is there anything i should know?
You tell me -What can I tell you?
I know she's a lesbian,
But would your straight daughter show up with her
boyfriend with a new ring on her fat finger,,,
(quietly) With Maria?
A wedding?
(loudly) I don't think so, a wedding,
Oh my God,
-Please don't scream, -Did you notice the hand?
-The allergy? -The other,
Stop the screeching,
-You noticed the ring, -Yes,
Ring?
Oh,
(Ron) How many carats?
-Let's see, -No, it's not a diamond,
It is,,,
It was spontaneous,
- (Ella) I can plan? -So,,,
-Mom, we're planning a wedding, -We're planning a wedding,
(they screech)
Full of madness! Yes!
I can't believe it, I'm happy like a,,,
I am as happy as a honeybee cake,
-Is there cake? -Like a honey cake horse,
You'll pay for stealing my moment from me,
Thank me for taking him in,
(Ella) Party, party,
(Telephone rings)
Hello grandma,
We want to start eating,
Sure, I'll tell her,
See you later, grandma, bye,
Uh, Grandma summons you and the current one,
That’s what you mean,
(distant calls to prayer)
Are you recording the muezzin?
I like that one best, beautiful voice,
I remind you of his voice
when you complain at five in the morning,
-I never complain, -Oh, right, never,
And I'm not fat, just beautiful,
Quiet, I have prepared a couple of questions,
(he clears his throat)
When did you find out about Shira's sexual orientation?
Sexual orientation, wow,
Sounds medical,
-Okay she's a lesbian, -Sounds like a disease,
I'm running out of synonyms,
Homosexuality was viewed as a disease not so long ago,
-Do you consider it one? -Of course not,
Why is your voice coming out of my mouth?
He acts like we have a problem with Shira,
-This is fake news, - He's not that clever,
That's true, I'm not,
To my question, do you think it's a disease?
I love my daughter the way God created her,
-When was you coming out? -With 13,
Your mother thinks Adi made her a lesbian,
-It was like this, -Isn't that genetic?
If so, she has it from the maternal side,
Do you think it's rash to get married after just three months?
I am happy that we have a new one for the last time on Shabbat,
It feels like she's a bitch,
We got married after six months,
Because I shoved a roast in for you,
A pregnant bride shines particularly beautifully,
Stop it, this is gross,
Maria will enrich our family,
That is the triple hit, The Holy Trinity,
Lesbian, non-Jewish, German,
(groovy saxophone music)
But why are you so sure that she will like me?
-Shiri, -No, boring,
-Schiksa, -Schiksa?
You torment yourself with “Shabbat Shalom”, but Shiksa works?
Where did you get that? Nobody says that,
-Is that a bad word? -Schiksa is a non-Jewish woman,
And in some circles, yes, that's a bad thing,
Does your family belong to these circles?
No, no, no, oh god, no,
My father just sounds like a fascist,
But if you look closely and close your
ears, he looks more like a care bear,
Why shouldn't I tell anyone
about your grandma's Arab lover?
Because the Care Bear shoots
rainbows when he hears the word "Arab",
And because my grandma thinks no one knows,
Not even me, Ha,
Your family is complicated,
Shirale,
That's what my grandma calls me when she wants to be mean,
Shushi,
Hey
-Do you want to listen to music? -Yes, Shushi,
(groovy music)
Oh look
So that's how my grandmother spends her reparations money,
-This is whiskey, not coffee, - (Ora) Shira,
What are you doing here?
If you wanted her different, you
should have given her on the butt,
She has a father too, you know?
Don't come to me with your settler now,
(Shira clears her throat)
They finally allow me to get to know you,
It is a great pleasure for me,
Know that I don't care that she's a lesbian,
As long as you don't look like a truck driver, I have no problem,
-Maria, will you help me in the kitchen? -Mhm,
The new one is doing her doctorate in something with plants,
Your mother says she is German, Fine
What does not fit?
You change girlfriends as often as I move my dentures,
Why do I have to get to know them? What's so special?
-Hey, grandma, -What?
You love me, don't you?
Well, you are the one I tolerate the most,
-Grandma, you will love her, -I liked the last one,
Maya, or what was her name?
Maya who was,,,
(Shira clears her throat)
What does she need so many freezers for?
These are their safes,
- Storage rooms for your,,, - emotions,
Have you interviewed Maria yet?
-Uh, not yet, -Why not?
It's not nice, Should you,
And then ask about her family, We don't know anything,
-My parents? -I hope we get to know you,
And your, um,,, grandparents if they're still alive,
-No, unfortunately not, -Ah,
So, um,,,
What do you know about your family?
Your history?
It's not as interesting as yours,
Mine has lived in the same place for generations,
Ah, Real Germans, eh?
(she laughs contrived)
-Were they all Jew-Eaters? -Liam!
What?
Um,,, I think he wanted to
ask what your grandparents did,
In war,
(Kettle whistles) Um,,,
No offense, There's a bowl of cookies,
Can you bring that out with you?
Not the cookies, They are for guests,
-Are we not guests? -No,
-Everything okay? - (Ora) I need something sweet,
What you need is a diet,
What I'm saying these cookies are no good,
It's okay, I'm not hungry anyway,
Your roses are beautiful,
I let them wither, You need too much water,
-Is that an apple tree? -Yes,
She takes care of her,,, you know,
Mummy?
-Do you have someone? -I?
Not since Golda Meir took control of the sinking ship,
That was a joke, mom,
Good,
Because she tends to have an exotic taste when it comes to men,
-Come out of my flower bed, - I'm sorry, Grandma,
And what are you doing with the camera?
I told you that, I'm doing a documentary,
Oh yes?
-About me? -No, about her,
These two are hardly of any interest,
Oh but, My teacher says this is the best project,
We have the lesbians,
The Shoah,
-And now we have a wedding, -Liam!
Why this look?
-You should be happy for me, -Why?
Because you're marrying the first darling who gets into bed with you?
Schickse?
You owe your life to a shiksa,
-Did she have a stroke? -God forbid,
My grandmother is happy,
Unfortunately, she lacks the right facial expression from birth,
Why do you want to buy the first pair of boots you try?
Granny,
Actually it was,,, it,,, it was,,,
Oh, come on, You don't owe her an answer,
Where does the toilet go?
Mom, we're not repeating my wedding fiasco,
At least we have a normal wedding,
We didn't even talk about it,
-You're getting married, -Of sure,
-In June, -Am I invited?
Sorry, I was serious, You don't marry
It is out of the question, Especially not Eva's and Adolf's brood,
-Don't put that look on, -Hitlers brood?
Since when have you been abusing the Holocaust as a trump card?
Since shepherd hours are no longer enough for you
and therefore you marry the German,
Mucki, the witch has lost the broom, We go,
- (Maria) I say goodbye, -We go,
Put the cookies back in their place when you leave,
What do you care how many women I've been with?
And why do you talk to your grandma about that?
-She's my grandma, we're talking, -About everything?
As if it were so weird,
It is normal to initiate families,
Not in intimate details about me,
I don't know I would have told any,
-It surprised me too, -OK,
Okay, sure,
Don't you want to wash them?
It's full of pesticides,
Not to mention the dirty hands that touched it,
-That strengthens the immune system, -Mhm,
OK,
A decisive woman,
-I like it, -Can I ask you something?
-Is that something German? -What?
Please allow me to ask a question,
That is probably rather polite,
Seems like a waste of time to me,
Did mom squeeze you about your family?
Yes,
Does that turn into an interrogation?
Mucki, you have parsley between your teeth,
I told you, They were farmers, We don't know any more,
Why do you ask again?
-Did your grandma say something? -And your mother's parents?
Died before I was born and never talked about it,
OK, We almost never talk about anything else where I come from,
If we don't use it as an excuse for something
we shouldn't be doing, we're eating,
That is also related to the Holocaust,
They didn't talk about it, now they're dead,
Too bad,
Would it change anything?
Woah, okay, again for normal people,
Hey, you'd better avoid "normal" here,
I really want to understand that now,
Assuming my grandfather was a farmer, then I would be a good German,
But when my grandmother ate Jews breakfast it makes me feel sick,
-And I have to pack? -No, it doesn't change anything,
But it doesn't go against the urge to want to know,
Like I said,
They were farmers,
OK,
(traditional music)
(Mrs Maria, "Shit", huh?
Wonderful, that's what I call an application,
- Ordinary, if you ask me, -We don't,
Girls, be nice to each other,
So,
How is the wedding going? Is there a plan? A budget?
Um,,,
I wanted a beach wedding,
Modest, 300 guests at most,
And then who should pay for it?
The guests, You just have to advance the deposit,
Did you talk to your parents? Are you contributing?
Is a lesbian wedding legal in Israel?
No, but we're faking that,
But why? I mean,,,
Who needs a big wedding?
-All of us, -Seriously?
Yes, a huge wedding in your late 20s,
-And in their 30s kids, -Is that also true for lesbians?
The Jewish compulsion to
reproduce does not stop at us homos,
Did you know about her rather,,,
progressive attitude towards weddings?
We haven't talked about it yet,
I give them two months,
And don't work double shifts for you and the tourist,
It is so when the business partner
is also the best friend,
I'll give them until just before the wedding,
(Alarm system howls)
(Alarm silenced)
Let's go,
Shushi?
(Woman laughing) Hey!
Yo,
How are you? I heard you moved in next door,
Blatant coincidence, Come by for a drink, Get a discount,
And how are you? Where do you hide?
This is Maria, my fiancée, Well, I was very busy,
You are the reason why Shushi doesn't come to the surf club,
And because my surfboard is being repaired,
I have to go back,
I need a shower, I smell like a grill,
See you,
(with hiccups) surfboard?
Totally forgot to pick it up, Do you need water
And you? Is she an ex?
So cute, those hiccups,
(Alarm system howls)
(Alarm silenced)
We should wait a few minutes,
I really want to know what's causing the alarm,
Maybe an ex-girlfriend is hiding in the storage room,
Now I have a good nickname for you,
Can i sleep with you tonight
My bed is broken,
Sex doesn't solve every problem,
Do you want me to convince you otherwise?
Do I see indignation in your pretty face?
Stop doing that,
Shushi,
-Is everything okay, Mucki? -No,
And are you going to enlighten me?
I don't want to destroy what we have,
Why does it sound like you're confessing
you are married to Klaus-Jürgen, who is at the grill?
-I'm serious, -With Klaus-Jürgen?
-Enough! -You talk,
-I can not, -How so?
Because the truth of the matter with the application was by mistake,
So, now it's out,
I just wanted,,, It sounds so stupid,
Mark my territory and spray you with perfume
that I wanted to give you, so I rummaged around,
The ring fell out and you thought,,,
-But I'm sorry,
I am so sorry,
-You didn't want to propose, -No,
I didn't want to make a proposal,
It didn't even cross my mind,
I love you more than I ever thought possible
But you don't want to marry me,
It was just a misunderstanding, Why didn't you say it right away?
-You were so happy, -Yes,
And I was so happy,
I was really happy,
It's me,
Everything happens so quickly, we don't really know
each other and maybe we don't match each other at all,
Actually, we shouldn't be a good match, But we do,
Somehow,
(romantic music)
Isn't that,,, Do you think that's,,,
-Could you shut up? -Shut up?
Almost as romantic as "shit",
Do you see?
It shouldn't actually fit,
But somehow he does,
(romantic music continues)
I don't need 300 guests on the beach,
I just need you
Will you marry me?
I need to hear the words from your mouth this time,
Yes i want to marry you
And I need a notarized copy of this declaration,
(Alarm system howls)
(Cell phone rings)
Who is this?
Why do you never answer?
Apple,
A-B-F,,,
No, not a "B", "P",
APPLE,
Can I have a cookie please?
Only if you can spell apple correctly,
And if not?
Then there's something decent from the freezer,
Oh dear, oh dear
I killed Ibrahim's apple tree,
There is nothing left to save,
Why do I have to study with you here?
Because your great-uncle just asked me to help you,
He said you lost to poker,
-Hm? -And now you owe him something,
Because he's the poker champion,
-Oh yes? -Mhm,
What else does he say, your great-uncle?
That you are alright
At least for a Jew,
-Oh, -And that you don't smile often,
-But if it is, that's it,,, -It's fine, Muna,
Take it,
(rhythmic music)
(Laughter)
(she keeps laughing)
Um,,,
Is that your happy hysterical laugh
or are you showing me that i'm ruining my life?
You know your mother She's not the type to cry,
Now show me the ring,
Here,
-Do you see him? - Oh,
A family heirloom, I don't even take it off to shower,
- We have to visit you immediately, - We?
-No, - Yes,
We have to see how our daughter lives,
Getting to know Shira's parents, planning a wedding,
Wait a minute, may I ask why you want to get married?
I mean, it's really quick,
Is it about gay marriage or do you want to exercise your rights in protest?
I guess because she's in love,
We love each other, we didn't get married either,
- Not yet, - Oh, Hans,
Should i leave you alone
Is it only I who worry about your mental and physical integrity?
I don't go to the military, mom, I fell in love,
(Hans) Let them do their thing,
Good,
You know what?
- Is it important to you, we come, -What?
- We are coming, -I didn't say that,
-That was dad's idea, - Yes,
Yes, we are coming,
We look forward to Shira's parents,
But one thing is clear, I am not crossing the Green Line,
(she hiccups)
(bass-heavy house music)
You called for me to help, So i help,
Help Adi, I can take care of the cash register,
You know I haven't trusted you since you beheaded my Barbies,
Until after the wedding, I'll pretend I really love you,
This is going to be a great party,
Maybe in Germany we just sign the papers,
But not so,
We're celebrating a wedding,
-Every woman wants to be a bride, -Not every,
-Do I hear Maria? -No,
What is it then? Something radical left or something feminist?
Right, I'm still waiting for the blood test,
-Could be contagious, - Seriously, man,
Why are you so anti, no matter what? You sound like grandma,
Shut up, don't call me a man and don't compare me to grandma,
Even grandma doesn't sound like grandma anymore,
Do you know what I love about Israel?
You can find everything here, Warm and cold,
Wet and dry, Beautiful and ugly,
Isn't it amazing, isn't it?
-Are you not a scientist? -Yes,
Why don't we sit in a cool laboratory?
And what is your doctorate about?
I am writing about climate change,
That's why I collect data from seeds, you know?
This Bibernelle or Sarcopoterium spinosum
grows over the entire climatic course,,,
(she clears her throat)
Can we go? I'm sweating my ass,
Thank you for letting me take part,
Sure, over and over again,
(Goats complain)
(Liam) Wait, what's the point? This is dangerous,
-I know him, -Yes and?
Are you crazy? The fence has a reason,
That's right, he protects the experiment,
-But,,, -You wanted something for the movie,
Then talk to him, He is as old as you
(Maria) Hello,
(they speak in a foreign language)
And don't forget to take the sheep with you,
If you're not helping me, you can teach me Hebrew,
What should I be able to say?
I eat pork on Yom Kippur,
(she tries to repeat it)
(he repeats)
-And what does that mean? - "I am not Jewish,"
(she repeats the sentence)
(dramatic string music)
(Ron says Hebrew prayer)
(all) Amen,
I said you shouldn't film while you eat,
Throwing at him is your solution?
-Original, right? -Not in the occupied territories,
-Free, -Yes,
-Maria, -Yes?
-How many schnitzel do you want? -One please,
I want the thin one,
That happens to the left in Tel Aviv,
You forget how to defend schnitzel,
Why do you pay horrific rental prices for apartments in areas
which radiate the grace of Dresden to the Allies?
-They deserved it, you didn't, -Yes,
We should move to the neighboring hill with a caravan,
-Or in the desert, -I know what spoiled you,
-Your Arab-loving eco-mother, -Yes, that's right,
She used the gay chip
the Altalena sunk, the First Intifada begun
and signed the Oslo Agreement,
Carrots?
Your sapling is alive, it's not dead yet,
Give me a few more days,
But please keep the child off my neck,
My own are perfectly adequate,
The next time I lose, I'll pay my debts in cash,
I have a better idea,
Good, because I don’t want to pay you anything to kill you,
If I win, you'll agree to go on a date with me,
And not in here,
We go out,
Your silence means yes,
Excuse me,
My hamstring has been bothering me since I started Zumba,
Not a good time,
It never is, Now is as good as usual,
Or as bad as usual,
This is not about politics,
An Arab in the first act explodes in the last,
You could make more useful use of your creative effusions,
He was nice when we got married,
His views changed when Grandma did not cross the Green Line,
That was the icing on the cake,
And a house was cheaper on this beautiful hill,
What I can bequeath to my children,
-I would like some cash, -You are such a condescending ass,
We are stupid to you because we defend ourselves against terror,
I am not saying that,
We are denied the right to defend ourselves because of your kind,
-You are harming us, -My kind?
Citizens who have the right
on their opinion, even if you don't like it?
Can we get through a Shabbat without arguing about politics?
-I do not think so, -That was rhetorical, idiot,
(Maria hiccups)
-No, honey, we're not arguing, -No no,
-We don't argue, -This is just Friday prelude,
(Liam) foreplay,,,
Can we finally talk about the wedding?
Yeah, let's talk about the wedding,
Mummy,
We will not live according to the rules of social constructivism,
Of course not,
You adopt a blonde baby who you won't have circumcised,
Then you move to Germany like all the other parasites
because you'd rather live where your baby doesn't have to go into the army like us,
-Then I'll join the armed forces, - (Ora) Listen to me,
I've paid good money at a
lot of weddings so one day
when it's my children's turn to get married
it's me who collects the money,
So, now it's my turn!
Now please give me your plate, Maria,
Don't want your mother to think you won't
get enough to eat when she sees you tomorrow,
A couple of potatoes still fit in,
So what,
-We are too old for games like this, -You're right,
Bridge would be more appropriate for our age,
Okay, I'll let you win this time,
-The conversation, Berta,,, -Your turn,
-We will run it, -Your name is still Ibrahim,
And we're still in the Middle East, so we're not running it,
Cut a slice from your granddaughter, She seems satisfied,
At my age, a Filipino caregiver is taken,
-No Arab lover, -Just,
We are old, So nobody cares what we do,
Berta,,,
I mean, everyone who used to
stand in our way is dead, gone,
(soft plucked music)
I'm also a doctor,
Hm?
Are you playing your hand now
(Ora) Does your mother not want a wedding?
(Maria) She thinks the state should
stay out of matters of the heart,
That's why my parents are not getting married,
-Take it like a man, -Mhm,
It occurs to me that I have
found a rabbi who would trust you,
I beg your pardon?
I eat pork on Yom Kippur,
(roaring laughter)
What did i say
That you will eat pork at Yom Kippur,
Never learn from Liam,
I wanted to say I'm not Jewish,
Hm, you can convert anytime,
Can it be any more arrogant?
I just think it's funny that dad
thinks Maria would ever convert,
How so?
I don't mean you have to,
But if you have children,,,
What does giving birth have to do with the matter?
Well, if she's not Jewish, she
can't give birth to my grandchildren,
You should be your religion
keep away from our reproductive organs, okay?
-We go home, -I can do the Friday prelude,
Can I get another schnitzel, please?
(Shira sighs)
Liam, are you totally stupid?
It is very helpful when my parents are annoying,
wedding
(energetic rock music)
wedding
Wow!
(Maria cheers wildly)
(Music becomes quieter)
You just asked for a schnitzel?
Wow, I'm impressed,
Sorry, Miss Impressed, if the
Dancing Queen marries a Jew,
she has to accept that mom is demanding a big wedding,
And you, Miss Self-hating Jew,
that dad wants the grandchildren to lose their foreskin,
You can open a “Jewish Princess” in Germany,
Follow the rules or go into exile?
That was supposed to be a joke,
(groovy electric guitar solo)
(Maria slurping) We're adopting a blonde baby,
Sh,,,
And move to Germany,
I am so sorry,
-No more Friday auditions for you, -Yes,
-No,,, foreplay,,, -Yes, Sh,,,
-No, don't “shit” me, -OK,
My mother is right,
(soft plucked music)
This is not a place to live,
(Hip hop music)
- (Hans) That's right, -Thank you,
Are you Maria's parents?
-Who wants to know that? -The Mossad,
No, it was just a joke,
I am Liam, Shira's brother and Maria's biggest fan,
-Didn't she tell you about the movie? -Um,,,
You come from Stuttgart, In the southwest of Germany,
Googled it,
(Liam) Okay, it won't take long,
I ask you the same questions that I ask my parents,
-OK, -Yes,
Ready?
When did you find out about Maria's sexual orientation?
What exactly do you mean?
When did she say she was a lesbian?
(Hans) It doesn't,
-Oops, -We know it,
She didn't come out, Love is love
If she is happy, the partner does not matter,
Even if it is a Jew?
-Do you want to suggest something? -No no, I am just asking,
-So it says in the notes, -Why do you ask?
-I also asked my parents, -Why did you do that?
-Well, about Maria, -What about Maria?
I don't know she's not Jewish,
And German,
And what did they say
Hey, I'm the one here asking the questions,
Mummy?
-Hey, -Hey,
-You’re early, -Yes,
-How nice, -We only had hand luggage,
-Hi Papa, -Here you are,
-Hi, -I am glad you are here,
How are you shira
-Was he rude? -I? You should ask her,
-Let's go up, -Yes,
I am not ready yet,
Oh yes you are
I'm going to see grandma tomorrow, You can come with me, you vulture,
Do you want to introduce her to your grandma?
(Hans) We would like to get to know you
but my wife signed us up for a tour,
(Maria) what?
You two alone? Where to?
We're going to a refugee camp,
(Liam) Hey,
Forget Grandma, I want to be there when you meet Papa,
-We want? -With pleasure,
Are you making plans without me? Shouldn't I come with you?
You moved, You have enough to do,
You don't have to worry about us too, do you?
(Petra) Thank you, that's okay,
(Hans whispers)
That's great,
Great, the apartment,
You want to visit your grandma tomorrow?
Mmm,
The Schiksa comes with you,
(rhythmic dance music)
What shoud that? Onion suicide?
Less than a shekel a kilo, I bought 20 kilos,
-What a happy event, -Close the door,
-An extended suicide, -What do you even want?
I didn't say goodbye last time,
Sit down,
You can of course save them for later if you want,
Open the door,
(Door is opened)
(Berta) Mmh,
They say you are a monopoly champion,
-Do you want to find out? -Yes I would like to,
Liam showed me an interview with your boyfriend,
The Bedouin boy,
-Which Bedouin boy? -Ahmed,
I'll give him water and some of your cigarettes,
and his sheep will stay away from my station,
Anyway, he's trying,
You seem to have a knack for difficult things,
Oh,
I'm afraid I killed it,
You overwatered it,
But I think I can save it,
First it has to be outside, but not in the sun,
I can find a place for it,
She's nice, She is really nice,
But you still can't marry her,
But that's exactly what I intend to do, They marry,
-I gave her the ring, -What did you do?
- My mother's ring? -Yes, I wanted the most valuable,,,
I gave it to you, The only thing I have left of my mother,
-Because I'm German? -Didn't say she,
-Don't pull, -I'm sorry,
I shouldn't have accepted it,
You don't have to apologize, you have to,
You're right, There is no excuse and forgiveness,
Can you please stop pushing your Hitler on us?
-Granny! -Do I have to change the locks?
-Did she lose in Monopoly? -No, the mind,
She gave her my mother's ring,
Despite my best efforts, she
has mutated into a selfish brat,
-What I? -You are looking for my bloodiest wound,
And then rub salt in,
I thought the one who is in love with an
Arab has no problem with my German,
What? I?
Never ever,
I can't be with anyone
and ignore everything else without hesitation,
-What is everything else? -Guess what? The reality,
Ibrahim, reality,
I want this ring back, Tell her that before she blows away with it,
(thoughtful pop song)
I,,, heard you say
You don't
Feel me anymore
That what we had was gone
And nowhere
Nowhere, nowhere To be found again
Can we go back to where we started?
Can we go back and stay?
Can we go back to where we do belong?
I,,, heard you say
(Cell phone vibrates)
Yes, Adi?
Okay don't let her go, will you?
Mucki, thank God,
Pull it off,
Promise you won't leave me
I have to get him right now,
I shouldn't have taken you with me,
I am really sorry, Please believe me
Look at me,
(Ring jingles on the counter)
-It doesn't fit, -Fuck the ring,
Fuck all the rings, I'll buy you a new one,
And one with no previous history,
I love you, More than anything else,
I promise to keep my grandma and
the rest of the bullshit off your back,
And you promise me that you will stay with me,
Deal?
(hopeful music)
Yes Yes Yes, OK,
Do you have it?
Down with the monarch,
Crap,
What are you doing here?
I make sure that the salaries are paid,
And I'm the owner of the bar,
But don't let me bother you, Just keep going,
(Shira) Wait,
Here, take it, I don't want him anymore,
Then I suppose you probably don't want the
money I invested in your business either,
Wow, (she clears her throat)
OK,
You get your money, Give me 30 days,
(soulful organ music)
wedding
(Church bells)
Hey
I'm so happy to finally get to know you guys,
-Ron, I'm happy, -Hans,
-I am also pleased, -Ron,
Maria said that you were on an exchange in Germany,
(Ora) Yes, (she laughs with a cackle)
Therefore I am happy that you are German,
I am as happy as a honey horse cake,
-Like a honey cake horse, -Ah yes,
-Like a cake horse, -Mama, the people pray here,
And this is Ella,
Our beautiful soldier,
And you already know Liam, don't you?
-Yes, -Mhm,
I am your city guide today,
Do we start on Via Dolorosa or the Church of the Holy Sepulcher?
-Are you on duty now? -No,
But with a uniform I can go to the coolest places and get discounts,
I feel uncomfortable,
I believe in peace,
(Ron) So do we,
That is why we fight for it,
I know what we need, What to eat,
(all) eat, eat,
-Yes, great, -I like it,
I have a better idea,
“The Lodz ghetto was opened after the attack on Poland in 1939
set up for the Jewish Poles,
It was the second largest ghetto in
German-occupied Europe after the Warsaw ghetto, "
(Hans in a whisper) Who took the photos?
(Ron) They're from different sources,
Many of the pictures are from Germans,
This is where my mother's family comes from,
Aha,
And your family?
Comes from a small village in southwest Germany,
Maria actually didn't tell us anything about them,
Yes,
They died before they were born,
Mmm,
I never got to know my grandparents either,
My mother didn't know her either,
She was four when her parents had to hide her and her sister,
That was the last time she saw them,
What is,,,
become of them?
Years after the war they found
someone who was on the same transport,
He could tell them what happened to them,
The whole family was wiped out,
Nobody survived,
Except for my mother and her older sister,
My mother says her first
memory was a dark, cold attic,
And hunger,
She told how much she was starving,
(Petra sobs)
No no no,
Oh my god, oh my god
Please do not cry,
Shira will kill you,
They rounded them all up and
made them stand in the snow for hours,
Until the weakest collapsed,
Follow me,
A Holocaust museum, really now?
How in the world does he get such shit?
-I envy these people, -Do not you have to,
You pay for stories that I always hear for free,
I've never been just sad before, I mean as a person,
Hm? Why?
Because I always felt that as a German,
I feel guilty as a German,
I am ashamed as a German,
How does it feel if you weren't German?
Stay with me,
If history repeats itself, you and I are the first in the crematorium,
Then you know what it feels like to be a victim,
Pft,
Mucki, wait, it was a joke,
(Woman) Shira?
Maya?
Maria, her fiancée,
How was it?
Wow fiancee, Are you quick
(Maria) I beg your pardon?
We wanted to move in together four months ago,
And already she is planning to get married,
(Honking)
So much for "keeping the bullshit away",
-Not even a day, -Mucki, that,,,
"Mucki" not me,
Everywhere I turn there are corpses,
I live in a minefield waiting to explode,
As if that wasn't enough, there are the ex-girlfriends,
Is there another woman in Israel that you haven't fucked, Shushi?
Stop!
(Tires squeal, bang)
(dramatic music)
I have to destroy his camera,
It was your fault Your luck that only your left hand is broken,
Father,
I am the only normal person in this family,
Mucki,
(distant announcements)
-Hi, -Ibrahim?
Ibrahim?
I don't think so,
You both know each other?
Oh,
When I was in Germany at the time, Grandma sent me to Ibrahim,
And how do you know each other, huh?
You were a great pleasure for us,
-How is your beautiful wife? -She died,
Oh I'm sorry, My sincere condolences,
Are you back? Do you live here again
The children have a life of their own, and I felt a longing for,,,
the sun,
(Ora laughs) May I introduce my husband to you?
My youngest Liam, my other daughter Ella,
Shira's fiancee, Maria,
Your parents, shortly my in-laws,
You come from Stuttgart,
Mom, are you going to take him all of our genealogy?
-Hi, I'm glad, -I am also pleased,
I did my training in Tübingen,
My children are still there, Create, create, build house,
(they laugh)
Is there an Arab your mother doesn't know?
(Berta) It's nice that you are fine,
Mummy,
These are Maria's parents,
Mummy, Mom please
(quiet Please,
Uh, get rid of them,
-Grandma stop it! -You don't yell at me,
After all the women you've
dated, now you're trying
to overcome your attachment phobia with a German?
(Shira screams in frustration)
I don't get into that shit anymore,
(Berta) Hallelujah,
She finally strapped it,
Mucki,
You're better off without her,
I think I'm better off without you,
(sad plucked music)
I'll get your discharge papers straight away,
(Shira sighs)
(sad music continues)
(Maria) No, No no no,
I have the right to be a person, not just a German,
Not for a woman whose family has been murdered,
-We should apologize, -Are you crazy?
Do you know what they call me? I am a schiksa,
And you are goyim, plural for non-Jews,
And these are just the synonyms of this language for non-Jews,
When it comes to Germans, things get creative,
Connecting cultures is not easy,
I am proud of the way you do it, How many words you learned
Can I have my parents back, please?
Since when have you been crying all the time?
Since when does everything about you sound like a Beatles song?
-She should never have come here, -But, She is here for love,
Love, Where?
Everyone hates each other here,
It's all controversial, Everything,
Except that every German hides a Nazi past,
You can say that there is no Nazi buried with us,
- (Petra) Yes, - (unanimously) No,
But,
My grandfather, father and my mother, They believed in that,
I didn't know anything, They kept it a secret,
I never knew my grandfather, my father died,
And my mother formed from her father and my saint,
And me too,
To,,,
Yes,
My mother didn't want to talk, I burned the family album,
It was all a lie anyway,
You never asked me
And I didn't mean to tell you,
(distant calls to prayer)
Start eating,
We have half an hour before the wife starts nagging,
It is seven in the morning,
What are you doing here anyway?
(Knock) (Liam) Can I go in?
No,
Like back then at school,
You and me in the room, your siblings
at the door, and we're talking about girls,
But then everything was kind of easier,
At that time you weren't aware of the complexity,
- (Liam) I'm hungry, - (Ella) Liam, I want to sleep!
Hm?
(Cell phone vibrates)
Yes?
I'll take the shift today,
I am on the way, No need to scream,
Okay, see you,
Adi?
Is it really okay to borrow the money from your in-laws?
When it's okay to hang a portrait of my Jewish princess,
(she snorts)
-Ready? -What's this?
(an emotional acoustic song is playing)
(Maria sings)
(Laughter)
You sneaky little,,,
(emotional song overlays dialogue)
(Song continues)
(Maria) Bye,
(Song continues)
(Song fades away)
What?
So, yeah, send another one, I can't miss the flight,
How long should it take?
Forget it, Many Thanks,
(Neta) Shira's girlfriend,
Compensatory justice,
Hi,
- Quiet service, -Are you going on vacation?
Second,
I'm sorry, I don't have time,
-I have to go to the airport, -Oh, good luck with that,
There was a huge accident here, two trucks,
Don't ask, there's no getting through here,
Didn't you notice the street is empty?
I have to go to the airport urgently, Can you help me?
In any case,
My car is near the scene of the accident,
Don't worry, you'll be on the plane on time,
Thank you, I can't say how grateful I am,
I want to show my gratitude,
It's okay, My shift is over,
I also take pleasure in helping a pretty woman,
My father is right, We want to pay you,
Fine
Now it feels like shit, but it gets better,
-I do not think so, - believe me,
Got it through and regretted it,
No, I don't regret any of it,
Do not be sad, Maybe she wasn't the right one,
She is definitely the one,
Crap,
I can not go,
(hopeful music)
Thank you,
-What? -Oh, Petra, please,
So you stay here
-Hans, -Come on now,
(poignant happy song)
(Music falls silent) Come on, give me the car keys,
(Ron) Berta?
(Door closes)
(Steps approach)
Take it,
Put it on her German finger,
Before you miss anything wonderful,
(tender soulful music)
Granny,
Don't miss out on something wonderful either,
This biblical beauty cannot be found anywhere else in the world,
-It's just magical, - Spare me,
I really can't cross the Green Line,
Take a look,
Hans, stop, Stop, Hans! I can not!
I'm sorry, but I can't,
Did you see? They have separate border crossings,
Enough! My leg is broken so take me to Shira,
After that you make your own decisions and I mean,
Even if they don't suit you,
(Hans) Exactly, (Honking)
For love, (quick honking)
(Hans) honey, but,,,
(tender music)
(poignant music)
-I am so sorry, -No, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, Mucki, I,,,
I love you, Mucki, I love you so much,
We both, You and me, that's all that matters,
You do not understand, My mother's parents were Nazis,
You Germans know how to destroy a romantic moment,
We did well with her,
We can get married now,
(tender happy music)
(Babble of voices)
Couples who shouldn't fit, but somehow still do,
-L'chaim, - (all) L'chaim,
Dear Grandma,
Love is chaos,
A wonderful mess,
Something worth celebrating,
I'm so happy for both of you,
-L'chaim, - (everyone) Cheers, l'chaim,
And has this clarified who will get the house?
(Laughter)
(Ora) mom,
I am so happy for you,
And about the wonderful wedding,
-Cheers, - (everyone) Cheers,
Dear Berta, dear Ibrahim, congratulations,
You are proof that a two-state solution,,,
-To love, - (all) to love,
(upbeat music)
Father?
Now is the time to get off your high horse,
You wallow in showing me the reunion,
But does it just bother me that no security company was hired?
A wedding is really fun when it's not your own,
My grandma insisted,
(soulful piano music)
Oh, honey,
Sweetheart?
That rhymes with Nazi,
Has potential or not?
(poignant music)
(Plop) bomb!
(Screams)
(Ibrahim) You are all racists!
(Ron) How should I know?
-It sounded like an explosion, -Cap, you racist,
There will be another war
There will be war
There will be another war
There will be war
(groovy music)
Do not do it, I believe in peace,
(Berta screeches)
Thank god, Mucki,
No Limits Media 2020 Subtitle: Margarita Hinkel et al,