رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال
I just don't get it,
Why are you always this difficult?
Why don't you guys ever shut up?
So everything will be fine,
Zaphoid B, Esquire will make the final ratification toward contracts,
- He's already temporarily ratified, - Yeah, two fucking years ago,
Dear, I don't appreciate that language,
Yeah, Well, Mom, I don't appreciate Dad's blind optimism,
- Oh, sorry, Mom, I didn't mean,,, - I know,
Son,,,
I just don't want you to always see the bad in everything, I promise,
- everything will be fine, - Yeah, what good is a promise
you can't deliver on?
Garp, Dad, I can hear you through the music Sniggle,
Can you guys please keep it down?
Whatever, Augustine,
Helmholtz, come sit back down, I may not be able to see anymore,
but I can still sense when you're trying to console our son,
We all know that it fucks with him,
I'm sorry, Mom,
We are all sorry,
Your esquires will arrive in five minutes,
Enter your beds or be in breach of contract,
Thank you,
Your esquires will arrive in five,
four, three, two, one,
You know the drill, boss,
Feeding instructions on page four,
- Subsection D of each contract, - Yes,
Good,
Malfunction again,
Again?
This is a new one, No battery,
So it should not malfunction again,
No grooming or extras for me today?
You get your purchase next month,
- What are you doing? - Just speeding things up a bit, helping,
- That is not part of your contractual obligation, - Yeah, Chill out!
- I'm just helping, - Your contract explicitly
obligates a caregiving esquire to nourish you,
I order you to cease and desist,
- Cease and desist! - Yeah,,,
- Cease and desist now! Now! Go on! - Oh, shit, I desist,
- Desist! - I desist, I'm desisting, I desist,
Very well,
Do not attempt to breach your contract after I warned you, ever again,
I will not be so lenient,
You know the penalty for breach, any breach, is death,
Are they going to ratify our contract sooner?
Or is your stupid ass U, of U,E, going to keep it
so I get killed for leaving my house?
The Union of United Esquires protects me and you,
so watch it,
Yeah, how exactly do you protect me?
We make sure everyone's contract is fulfilled
so the world is a safe and stable place for us all,
My contract says I can't leave my house,
- You signed it, - Yeah, but I was never supposed to wake up,
And even if I did, I didn't agree to be under house arrest,
You gave your esquire power of attorney?
Yeah, to feed me and to give me the drug, not to make me a slave,
- Things change, - Wait, half the world
is under house arrest, and your responses is
- "Things change"? - It's not house arrest!
You all paid your esquires, Gave them power of attorney
so you can take your little miracle drug,
go to sleep, live out your designated fantasies
in the haze while hardworking
men and women like Dries and myself watched over the world,
You are lucky we ratified the contracts to let you move around your house,
It's not the esquires whom reliable for the world in current unforeseen occurrences
while you were in your,,,
- What's so goddamn funny? - Nothing, It's just,,,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I desist, I desist,
- I desis,,, - Shut up, Garp!
We are so sorry,
Look, we've had a long week,
We appreciate all you do,
Don't we?
Move to him, I'll take her,
Hello,
- How are you today? - Fine,
Hard shit,
Did my application for ratification to update my plan get denied?
- No, - Well, when do I get on the new plan?
It was not accepted either,
The processes are backlogged,
I've been asking for like two years since I woke up,
Would you like to file another?
Does anyone have any amendments,
ratification or any other legal matters?
Yes,
I'd like to request a new lawyer,
And I'd like the healthiest eating plan you have,
the same one my dad's on,
Very well,
Oh, yeah, that's right,
Yeah, that's right, Walk around,
Oh, yeah, baby,
That's right, put that hair up,
Oh, yeah,
Oh, come on, baby,
Come on, Here, Don't stop now,
Oh, yeah, Don't stop, Oh, come on, baby,
Yeah, Keep doing it,
Oh, come on, Don't let me down,
Come on, Don't let me down, baby,
Come on, Oh, no, no, no, no, don't,,, don't,,, don't,,, don't,,, don't,,, don't close the blinds,
No, no, no, no, don't close it,
Don't close it, Don't,,, fuck!
All right,
Ooh, imaginary tits,
Fuck yeah,
Fuck! Garp!
- what the fuck are you doing? - Learn to knock, faggot!
- What did you call me? - I meant faggot like it was the word "asshole,"
Not like it was because you're gay,
Okay,
I keep forgetting you're gay,
I keep forgetting it matters,
It doesn't, man, It's just that,,,
- I mean, you weren't gay when we went into the haze, - I was six,
I wasn't sure,
I didn't know it mattered, but it does matter, At least out here anyway,
In my dream world, or the haze, or whatever you want to call it,
I never even came out of the closet,,, being gay or straight didn't exist,
You just hooked up with whomever,
What if you wanted to have a kid?
I had one,
You had a kid?
Yeah,
Were you jerking off to Scout,
the little deaf girl from across the way?
- She's not that little anymore, - Neither are you,
Don't go changing the subject,
You never told me you had a kid in the haze,
I've never really told any of you much about what the haze was like for me,
Yeah, well, none of us really ever talked much about it,
It's just weird, You know,
- we're not used to you being,,, - A faggot,
No, gay,
It's been fucking strange for this family,
It's been fucking strange for the whole world,
I'll never forget Mom telling me that some grown up made a drug that would let us go
into the haze and we would live happier lives,
I would have anything I could imagine, literally,
It sounded like that's what I was supposed to do,
but I didn't get a choice,
The world had no choice,
They did, but they didn't,
You were probably too young to remember, but we had to take the drug,
Anyone who was in power went into the haze, I mean, look around,
The haze was better,
I do miss it,
I guess I never told you about my kid because,,,
,,,I miss my son,
I mean, I know he wasn't real, but he was real,
Stop being such a faggot,
- You should get that looked at, - Yeah, by who, slut?
- Someone who gives a shit, - You know, ever since in my haze,
you and I still busted each other's balls all the time,
- I don't have any balls, you ass, - I'm the ass?
You're the one who basically dreamt reality, you're so full of yourself,
The best thing you can come up with was you in the real world as if the haze never existed,
I did not say that I dreamed reality,
- It wasn't exactly like that, - Let's get back to you wanking off to that little deaf girl
- out the window, - Wanking? When did you become British?
when I sucked tons of English cock in the haze,
Eurgh!
- Out with it, chunky, - Come on, You know I can't help that,
Shouldn't have been so proud and paid for your own plan,
It's worth my pride,
Plus, we were never supposed to wake up, And besides, watch the name calling,
- Fine, faggot, - Touche,
You guys should have taken this super, duper health plan that Dad took,
No way, that would have sucked,
I'd still look like I was six,
Is it weird that Dad and I basically look the same age?
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want to hear more about you wanking it
- to the little Scout, - Oh, fuck off!
So here's the dish,
I walk in,,,
,,,Garp's in his undies, jerking it with one hand, binoculars in the other,
He throws the binoculars at me,
- Ouch, are you okay by the way? - Yes,
And somehow we still have not discussed him
jacking off to that little deaf girl,
God, I hate that,
Out with it,
Fine, I just want to see her naked,
When I was in my haze, I could do whatever I wanted,
I could go where I wanted, I could eat what I wanted,
I could fuck when I wanted, If I wanted to fuck eight girls, I fucked 16,
I was a king, I was a rock star,
- A glutton, - Whatever, I'm proud of who I am and what I am,
I mean, in the haze I got to do whatever I wanted, I mean, till two years ago
when Ward killed himself and that jackass Zaphoid B, Esquire declared that nobody else
can legally make the drug and we've been out of the haze and fucking on house arrest,
Ever since that fateful fucking bullshit day when I had to awake to that fucker
Lord Voraz telling me what I can and can't do, No, no, shh, fuck that,
Ever since I woke to a world full of lawyers with fucking guns
that tell me what I can and can't do,
All,,, All I wanted is to see
little Scout Finch, who is no longer so little by the way,
All I've wanted is to see that hot girl get naked,
I haven't,,, I haven't wanted to be a rock star,
I haven't wanted to be a king,
I haven't wanted to fuck 16 girls,
I just want to see her get naked or partially naked or fucking something!
And every night I come into my room, I grab my binoculars and I shit in the dark
like the shitty old man I've become and I watch her,
and I think, please shitty world, please shitty world,
just let her get naked before she closes the blinds, Every night I think it,
please don't close the blinds, and every night she closes them,
And every night I realized that the simplest dream can't come true anymore and I want to die,
She closes the blinds and my fat sickly ass wants to die,
Get naked,
- What? - Get naked and get in front of the window,
If everyone in the world who wanted to see naked people in the window
just stood naked in their windows, then there will be plenty of naked people
in the windows, Get up, get naked, be what you want,
All right,
I will,
Thank you, That's all I'm saying,
Whoa! No, no, no,,,
- Ha-ha! - Not now!
Yeah!
Hey, Hey, guys, come here, She's opening her blinds,
I'll be damned,
What do you make of that?
- Today is officially two new A,D, - That's right,
Time sure does fly, Two years ago to this day in the year of our Ward,
Ward took his own life at the tender age of 121 and left the hazers or druggies
without their medicine and turned the world upside down as he always did,
- You gotta be fucking kidding me, - I want to hear this,
He sure was a great man and we all miss him dearly,
Ward was running for President and was the most beloved Americans since the ancient
Bobby Kennedy when he shocked the world by attempting suicide,
Goddamn TV Sniggle,
The world cried for Ward until six months after that suicide attempt,
when he made that fateful speech,
- Hello, - Remember that, hun?
- No matter how much I've had in life,,, - What?
,,,no matter how much I achieve, I,,, I've always felt alone,
I tried to kill myself because nothing made me happy anymore,
I was going to be the President of the United States of America,
the country I love, and still nothing would bring me joy,
I asked myself, what is the meaning of life?
I didn't ask it in a large worldly way,
But in a simple way, I asked for the definition,
I think scientists believe life is an organism that uses oxygen or water,
I mean, years ago when they sent those probes to space, that's how scientists
looked for life, by looking for water,
But they never found life, and I decided they probably never would,
I mean, if they look by looking for water, that's not what life is,
I mean, if something walked up to me and said, "Hi, Ward, how are you?
How are you doing today?"
And it,,, it didn't need oxygen or water,
I would still consider it alive,
Fuck!
,,,decided that the scientific
definition of life was wrong,
I decided that the meaning of life was what I feel,
and if all I was going to feel was horrible all the time,
why would I want to keep living?
So, I decided to commit suicide,
When I woke up in the hospital and my doctor told me
everything was going to be okay, I reached out to take his hand,
I realized he was a hologram from a remote TV Sniggle,
This made me know that I was not connected to anyone,
I realized that with technology and Sniggles, we have all withered into our own space,
I was actually considering suicide again when when the doctor told me
about a successful suicide that had taken place the day before,
It,,, it was a suicide of a childhood friend of mine,
I thought if someone that grew up where I grew up and how I grew up
could kill himself and,,, and we couldn't understand it or stop it,,,
,,,then how could we understand people in different places?
How could we understand things larger than us or smaller than us?
Or more importantly, how could we understand something like God
or an interconnected energy or,,, or anything like that,
I realized,,, life isn't what I feel,
It's what,,, what we all feel,
I wasn't depressed, I was disconnected,
I want so badly to be connected, to have meaningful relationships with others,
But today everyone is so caught up in the world that exists
that I find it no longer possible,
So, I have invented the drug,
And we all know what happened from there,
The richest of the rich and the most powerful people were on it until,,,
Until all the assholes who ruled the Earth, like my father, gave away all their money
to lawyers so they could go on the drug until those lawyers wanted to go on the drug too,
so they deputized other lawyers to take care of them and us and so on and so on,
Until goddamn 25% of the Earth was deputized lawyers, and 50% of the people
were on a drug, and 25% of everyone else took care of everything else!
- God, shut up! - until the whole world was under one form of government
called contractualism, and idiots ruled,
and ten percent of fuck was fuck, and everything that sucked
just sucked and magic! Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,
- Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! - Shut up, Garp!
Fuck off,
You know, if you just wouldn't let Ward be alone,
this never would've happened, The drug didn't work on him, If he just interacted,
we wouldn't be in this mess,
Dad will never admit it, But they're never going to ratify the contracts,
- they'll just leave this house, - Don't say that,
They won't even let me pay to eat healthy
or to change my clothes,
You're the one that chose the cheap health food plan,
Well, I didn't think I was gonna have to wake up and be a chunky, disheveled mess,
I didn't know I was going to have to be sick from gas and junk food,
It doesn't matter now,
Fred Kinnan Esquire's never gonna let Zaphoid B, Esquire ratify our contracts,
We're never gonna be free, We're never going to be allowed to go outside,
How ludicrous is that?
The Union of United Esquires, attorneys with guns that control the entire world,
I mean, who could even make that shit up?
One government that rules the world called contractualism that forces everybody
to follow their contracts or die is ludicrous,
Do you really think that the Union of United Esquires
is why the legal controller won't ratify our contracts?
Sols, I had to yell "I desist" with a fucking gun in my face,
I don't even think desist should be a word,
Don't take this the wrong way, but I want to be alone,
We're in my room,
Fine,
I, Zaphoid B, Esquire, solemnly swear that we are still working to ratify
these contracts, And we will try to meet our deadline of January 8th, two New A,D,
Next week,
And now,,, I will take a few questions,
Ready for press member number one,
Is Fred Kinnan Esquire against ratifications altogether?
Oh, you would have to ask him that, but I would think not,
Is there ever a chance that the contracts will all be nullified
and people can go back to being what they want without fear of death
and,,, and,,, and,,, and imprisonment within their own home?
I'm sorry, I can't hear you, but I think I know what you're asking,,,
,,,will we ever go to,,,
I am so sick of being in this house,
What's so funny?
Nothing, It's just,,, nothing,
Come on, out with it,
It's just, you're having a little trouble with the makeup Sniggle,
- Goddamnit, - Mom,
Sorry, it's just frustrating,
Let me help you,
An old lady at 35,
Not to dissuade your exuberance, but you're 55, Mom,
Yeah, but I blinked when I was 35 and awoke an old lady,
Must be strange for you,
For all of us, we lived in dreams that have more realistic time,
I just blinked,
What was it like to be gas?
It wasn't gas exactly,
Just kind of didn't exist,
It was like I was floating,
And there was nothing,,,
,,,and everything,
It was,
Ow,
You okay in there?
Fine,
You coming to bed?
Damn toothbrush Sniggle broke,
- Use mine, - You know, in my dream,
we didn't even have to brush, We were always just clean,
Everything was clean,
Everything was perfect,
I can sense you're there,
What's wrong?
Nothing, babe,
Just so sick of everything always breaking,
Breaking,,, Breaking,,,
Breaking,,,
What?
You mean me? I'm breaking,
No,,, Not you,
These damn Sniggles,
Our house,
Our futures,
I can feel it,
Age was always so important to you,
You're not attracted to me anymore,
Yes, I am,
Then take me,
- I'm just not,,, - You're not attracted to me,
D,,, Don't be ridiculous, Of course I am,
That's bullshit,
While you were off living in a world where we were young and hot,
I got old, old and blind,
Sure you got a little older,
But,,, you're still the most beautiful girl in the world,
That's BS Helm, and you know it,
I may be blind but I'm not blind,
When couples grow old together, it works, the change is gradual,
You don't notice, But with us, you've been gone for 20 years in some great dream
in the haze with perfection,
In your world, we never aged,
We were just hot, And you woke up looking that way,
You're a good man and you try to hide it,
But you were and are vain,
I think being in the moment is amazing,
I'm not as vain as you think,
What was that?
Oh, nothing,
For me, the haze was a spectacular few seconds,
Then I wake up a second later,
I'm old, my husband doesn't want me, my kids are all depressed,
I'm locked in the house and my husband can't even have sex with me,
If that were true,
Would I be this turned on?
Oh, Helmholtz, I know that voice,
Oh, Helmholtz, oh!
Oh, Helmholtz!
- Oh! - I want you so bad,
Okay, that's good, Right there, Like that!
Oh, my,,, I'm gonna come,
I'm coming,
Ah! I'm gonna come,
I'm gonna come, I'm coming!
Yeah!
So, that my friends, is where it stands,
Though the Union of United Esquires is not happy at this time,
we are confident ratifications can be made,
Looks like final ratifications will be put off for at least another month,
- Hey, I was watching that! - Chill, Pops, it's paused, not off,
- That's big news, Garp, - It's the same news it is every night, Dad,
- Listen,,, - Calm down, you guys,
Every freaking night,
What do you need?
- Can I use your encyclopedia Sniggle? - Yeah, it's in my room,
Can you rig it to help me translate that sign
- tippy talk language? - I think so,
All right, come on,
- I want a girl's voice, - Okay,
No, that's the upper etched line, as they say,
The brass,
Any new ratification requests?
What?
They don't have any power, They can't do shit,
In fact, they're more like servants,
You have to clean us, feed us, bring us new clothes,
If you think about it, you're more like my bitch,
If that's true than why am I standing here
and you are stuck in the house,
- "Than?" - What?
"Then," you idiot, Not "Than,"
And you can leave because either you or your family were too poor or too stupid
- to go on the drug, - What did you say to me?
Hard of hearing?
Cut it out, Garp,
You are displeasing your mother,
What? Contract says I can air my grievances,
Do you have any more?
No,
Very well,,, then,
Step away from the exit,
You are not within the safe distance from the exit, step away from the exit,
You are now safe,
- What the fuck was that for? - I am contracted to keep you in line with your contract,
Your contract says you are not allowed to travel outside,
Yeah, but I didn't, didn't you hear the voice? I just got close, Fuck off!
Get out, Hey!
If you had made it, you'd have been in breach of contract,
And I'd have killed you,
- Then do it, bitch, - No,
- Really? - Get off him!
Please, Please, stop, I'm scared,
What?
I'm sorry, man,
I was just trying to enforce the contract,
It's okay,
I just hate violence,
Sir, we have to go,
Formally requesting new esquires and a better, healthier eating plan,
Noted,
Fucking assholes!
- Fuck yeah, Dad, - I was talking about you too,
Well, thanks anyway, old timer,
Old timer?
You're the old timer,
I'm not old,
- I didn't get old, Remember? - It really does not matter so much, Pops,
Old is old, Young is young, Thanks for taking one for the team, Sols,
Who says I was faking it,
- Everybody, bitch, - Language,
- Take a pill, Mom, - Absolutely not,
Never again,
It's nice to have us all together like this,
It reminds me of the old family dinners,
Don't bring up dinner,
I miss eating so much,
How much does it suck that I'm fat
and I don't even get to taste food,
- Let's have dinner, - There's no food, ass,
- Language, - That doesn't mean we can't have dinner,
I'll go set the table,
- We can do this every night, - Mm-hmm,
That we can agree on,
In my dad's haze, everyone was perfect,
No one aged, no one got sick, no one gaining weight,
I mean, everyone was just perfect,
He and I basically look the same age now, which is really weird,
My sister Solsbury basically dreamt that she was herself
as if she had never taken the drug,
I mean, she would have been a huge success in the real world, in business or whatever,
So I guess it kind of makes sense,
But I mean, she basically dreamt the drug away,
It's amazing how even the people that did not
want the drug ended up hazers anyway,
They were just losing their ability
to succeed because too many other
powerful people checked out,
I know,
What about the rest of you and the rest of your family?
Well, my little brother,,,
,,,how do I put it? I guess he was in a world of acceptance,
I mean, he's gay, but he was six when he went into the haze
so he didn't really know that then,
So, in his haze, everyone was just free to be what they wanted,
My mom,,, my mom's haze is crazy,
She, like, blinked and it was over,
Like, she describes it as if
she was just, like, gas or air,
And her haze lasted, like,
only a couple of seconds and then it was over,
And when she woke up,,,
,,,when she woke up she was blind, here in the real world,
She went blind in her dream, That's horrible, I'm sorry,
Oh, no, she's,,, she's great, She's okay,
I mean, I hope she's okay, I think she is,
And me, Well, I pretty much did everything
that anyone says they would do if they could do anything,
I was a total selfish pig,
You're an honest person, Garp, I am just happy to have you to talk with,
I feel like we really communicate,
It's really nice,
I know, right? I mean, we've only been up for a couple of years,
which is a long time if you think about it,
But we were in our hazes for so long that I think that we're really only
used to communicating with ourselves,
You know, I feel like I speak so simply,
I feel like,,, I only communicated with myself
for so long that I forgot how to speak
universally, intellectually or to each other,,,
,,,if that makes any sense at all,
My description is overly descriptive,
I don't know, See, I'm so bad at communicating,
I can't even communicate how bad I am at communicating,
That's so fish,
"That's so fish"?
Not "That's so fish," That's so true,
Oh,
I wish you knew tippy talk language so we wouldn't need that damn thing,
Hey, Just because I am a Sniggle, does not mean I do not feel,
See, that is exactly why we don't need that damn thing,
Learn tippy talk,
Uh, if I learn it, will you get naked?
Pervert,,,
Well, will you? Is that a "yes"?
Yeah, If you learn fluent tippy talk language, I will let you see me naked,
You happy?
Hell yeah!
You're not going to do it,
Good morning,
I haven't felt this connected to anyone, to the world, to anything in so long,
I haven't felt this connected ever inside the haze or out,
Let's get married,
Yeah, You,,,
So, that's Zaphoid,
- And that's,,, - That's Fred Kinnan,
- ,,,ratified, - The truth is,,, hold on!
Hold on! Hold on! The truth is,,,
Great job on the puppets and the set,
The only reason these contracts have not been ratified yet is because,,,
The Zaphoid puppet is hot,
What's your attraction to esquires all about anyway?
What are you talking about? I was making a joke about a puppet,
- Uh, I see you looking at Dries Gloton Esquire, - Please,
You can tell me, I'm your sister,
- Talk to the hand, Don't touch it, - God, that's the gayest thing
- you've ever said, - Fuck you, sis, You're acting like Garp,
Lately, I'm thinking that's not a bad way to be,
Fine,
Fine what?
In the spirit of our brutally honest brother,,,
- ,,,I think Dries is cute, okay? - I knew it,
I wish I felt the same way about that asshole who was grabbing my tits,
You play it well, sis,
You play it well,
So you really want to fuck that puppet?
I would like to ask you permission to marry your daughter?
The only thing in this world that keeps me going is her,
I swear I will do anything necessary to keep her happy,
Is this what you want?
Mom,,,
,,,I've been thinking a lot about before we went into the haze,
how you used to say that life was better when you have that certain someone,
Well, I found my someone,
I'm getting married,
To who? How?
You remember Scout from next door?
The little deaf girl?
She's not little anymore,
- No fucking way, You actually,,, - Language,
Sorry,
How?
He got naked,
- What? - He got naked,
Well, this is kind of embarrassing,
But yeah, I got naked and I'm getting married because of it,
And it changed my whole miserable, locked up life, so,,,
Hold on, Wait a minute,
Life is miserable?
Is it, Garp?
Well,,,
,,,yeah,
It is, Dad, It's pretty miserable,
I think all of our lives are,
Come here, Son,
All right, Ooh, Okay,
Honey, back to the getting married,
Okay, well, when we woke up, I saw that I could see into Scout's bedroom window
from my bedroom window, So I've been spending a lot of time trying to see her
get naked,
- Garp,,, - Well, I'm sorry, but it's true,
And one night Augustine and Solsbury kind of walked in on me, so,,,
Wait, your brother and sister caught you rolling the dice?
- That's not funny, - Rolling the dice,
Dad, that's great,
No, Mom, Mom, Mom,
Solsbury told me I should just get naked and stand in the window,
She told me that if everybody in the world who wanted to see naked people
in the window would just stand naked in the window, then there'd be plenty
of naked people in the window, So I got naked and she saw me and,,,
Garp,,,
Did she get naked too?
- What? - No, No, well, not right away anyway but she laughed,
And since then for the last six months we've been communicating,
I even learned tippy talk language for her,
But how can you get married? You can't even touch,
You don't have to touch to connect,
You just have to put out what you want and hope to get it back in return,
The U, of U,E, wants people to leave their houses,
Zaphoid knows that,
Well, we do need to get this done,
Are you insinuating that things are in any way
any different, Mr, legal controller?
Well, no, I just think you and I,,,
You are the controller of the world,
You and only you can make this happen, not the U, of U,E,
We are merely a union of hardworking attorneys,
Please, sir, I am not so much a controller as I am a single hardworking public servant,
Well, if you keep up that attitude, there's no way we'll get these ratifications done,
So, it will be at least another month before ratifications are made,
Reportedly, the druggies are growing pretty restless,
It's been more than two and a half years since they left the haze and they still haven't
- left their houses, - That's right, Sympathizers want them
to go outside and join society, But the U, of U,E,
insists that if they do, they want to make sure they are well taken care of,
And no good solution for what can be done has been found yet,
Although we are assured that a solution will be found,
And let's not forget that some of the public feels as though
because they were in the haze for so long doing whatever they wanted to do,
that it might be okay for them to spend some time inside their own houses
doing nothing,
They didn't pass the ratifications again this month?
It doesn't mean they won't,
Why are you always so pessimistic? Things will work out, Garp,
Okay, Dad,
- "Okay"? - Yeah,
Okay, I mean, I know you're just putting out what you want in return
and if what you want from me is positivity,
then, well, I might not agree with it but I'll try and give it to you,
Is that what you think I want?
Yeah,
I can't believe how grown up you are,
Or out,
This is not okay, Son,
I don't really think these contracts are getting ratified,
I just want to give you hope,
Yeah, I know, Dad,
Well, tell me now,
You're finding hope on your own,
It's, uh, nice to see such a good mood,
Did you fuck my sister while she was sleeping?
What you,,, what did you just say?
It's a fair question, because you're always so perfect with her,
Shit, Did you fuck people while they were asleep?
You did, didn't you?
- Did you? - Lay down, Garp!
Please, please, Let,,,
Please, Don't pay him any mind,
He has a very strange sense of humor,
Very,
It's just that,,, I hate to see a lady such as yourself,,,
- ,,,have to hear such things, - That's so sweet,
But I do think those things,
It's a happy day,
No grooming or extras today?
Time to go, boss,
- Let me finish rounds before you, - Yeah, Thank you, Dries,
Anyone else need to put in for any gratifications?
Garp needs a doctor,
I have requested it,
Does he have any chance of seeing one?
I requested it,
No, Wow,
Anything else?
I am formally requesting new esquires and the healthiest meal plan you have,
Noted,
Assholes!
Garp, what was that you were saying about him and your sister?
- He probably,,, - Nothing, Garp,
What's with you fake flirting with that asshole all the time anyway?
'Cause I'm saving your big fat ass!
Sols,,,
Sols!
Hmm,
That's nice to hear,
Them fighting?
Them fighting like a family,
Them fighting honestly,
Is that a gun or are you happy to see me?
Oh, I am happy to see you,
You don't even need our porno?
You knew?
Of course,
Plus, it doesn't seem like it's a big problem anymore,
It's plenty big,
Oh, Okay,
Stat report,
Put the red setting on,
I don't fucking,,,
Double sparkle!
Goddamn it, I never win,
victory is mine,
- Do you want to play again? - No,
I wish this was real,
It sucks we're the only ones alone,
We got each other, Brother,
You know, if you weren't too young for me and my brother
and gay,,, we'd have a good thing going,
Bottom's up,
Come on,
Come on, Just a little?
You think that was punishment?
I mean, don't get me wrong, I want to see you naked, but getting to see you
bend over like that was almost worth having to see you put on your clothes afterwards,
You know, we should totally meet up after the wedding,
I would like to propose a toast,,,
,,,to our very own T, S, Garp Gault,
whom is about to embark on the journey that is marriage,
Is that the correct use of whom?
I'm trying to congratulate you,
Well, you should try it with proper English, old man,
Oh, really?
Well, Garp,,,
,,,I want to wish you the best of luck,
I want to thank you for this,
- For a fake rehearsal dinner? - Yes,
For a fake rehearsal dinner,
- For a fake rehearsal dinner, - Fake rehearsal dinner!
- Yeah! - Cheers, Mom,
I, T, S, Garp Gault, take you, Scout Finch, to be my unlawfully wedded wife,
my constant friend, my faithful companion and my love
from this day forward,
In the presence of the world, I promise to be your faithful companion,,,
,,,in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad,,,
,,,and in joy as well as in sorrow,
I promise to love you unconditionally,
to honor and respect you
and to laugh with you
and to cry with you and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live,
I'll tell you guys what she tippy talks,
I, Scout Finch, take you, T, S, Garp Gault,
to be my unlawfully wedded husband, my constant friend,
my faithful partner and my love from this day forward,
In the presence of the world, I offer you my solemn vow
to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health,
in good times and in bad,
in joy as well as in sorrow,
I promise to love you unconditionally,
to honor and to respect you, to laugh with you and to cry with you
and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live,
And we shall live,
And by the power vested in me, by me,
I now pronounce you man and wife,
You may kiss the bride!
Yay!
Oh, God, Jesus, man,
Don't knock it till you tried it,
- Hey, - All right, I need your help,
- I'm gonna cut out my tracking device and go see my wife, - Are you fucking crazy?
- We don't even know how those things work, - Yeah, But we know where
they are, I was gonna wait for this one to malfunction like the last one
but Voraz said the battery wouldn't die, So I'm just gonna cut it out,
- What if you get caught? - What if we have to stay in this house
- for the rest of our lives? - I don't know, man,
I do, I need to go see my wife,
But you connected, We connected,
Yeah, you did, But I want more,
Life isn't about just sitting around letting things be fine,
It's about going for more, And if you lose then you know what it's like
with less and you can appreciate more more,
More more,
Yeah, More more,
- Are you okay, man? - No,
- Will you help me? - Yeah,
Thanks,
I'm gonna cut this out,
I need you to sit here with the tracker and stare into
Scout's room while I'm gone,
- What? - This might be the only circumstance on Earth
where one might ask their brother to watch them
have sex and it be perfectly fine,
Okay, Now, I need you to signal me
if you hear the voice or if you think anyone's coming,
What kind of coming?
- Sorry, - I don't want Scout getting into any kind of trouble,
- You got me? - Mm-hmm,
Okay,
- Oh, man, - That's fucking disgusting,
- What, the puke or the cut? - Both,
Hand me that gauze! Hand me that gauze!
All right,
- Love you, man, Good bye, - Love you too,
Come back!
Garp, get inside! Goddamnit, Garp!
- Your tracking device has been removed, - Fuck!
Fuck!
Your tracking device has been removed,
Your tracking device is not at a temperature condusive to the human body,
Your tracking device has been removed,
Your tracking device is not at a temperature condusive to the human body,
It just started beeping, It just started beeping,
What's happening, Garp?
What's happening?
He went to see Scout,
What?
But I didn't make it!
- It's okay, - No, but I didn't make,,,
It's okay, It's okay, Tell him it's okay,
- It's okay, - It's,,, it's okay,
Augustine, tell him it's okay!
- It's okay, - It's okay,
It's okay,
T, S, Garp Gault,
Why was your tracker removed?
No reason suffices, For breach of contract,
you are hereby sentenced to death,
No reason suffices,
That about sums it up,
Hey!
Oh, shit,
- Sorry, - Shut up, Dries,
Any last words?
Surely that wasn't a breach of contract,
Shut up, Sols,
Surely this has just been a misunderstanding,
- Shut up, Solsbury, - Garp, shut the hell up, If not for me, then for you know who,
Yeah, I don't know,
I can see how this,,, could be an accident,
Let's go,
Solsbury,,,
Nothing like this better happen again,
Solsbury,,,
Feel good?
- Okay, We're gonna do this, Yes, - Yes,
Oh, come in here, Come in here,
No, no, no, Not like that, No, no, let's just,,,
No, no, don't, Definitely like that!
- Not like that, Don't do that, - Yes,
- Oh, come on! Give me what I want! - That's disgusting!
What? But, baby, that's what I like,
What did I do?
I want you so bad, come back please!
- Let's go, - What?
Now! Let's,,,
I'm formally requesting new esquires
and a better, healthier meal plan,
Did they leave?
Yes!
- Fuck, Solsbury, - You owe me so big,
I thought that you were go,,,
No, I love you, but not that much,
- Eurgh, - Go wash your hands first!
One look, Just look,
Get off!
I can't believe we just got out of that,
That is so gross!
Are you okay, darling?
Yeah, Dad,
Where on God's Green Earth did you shit?
He went so fast!
You had me so scared there, old boy,
Get up, you jerk,
Garp?
What's wrong?
Garp?
- Garp? - Garp?
Quit messing around,
Oh, fuck, Garp,
What is it?
Garp?
Hey, Garp? Garp?
- Come on, get him up, - Garp?
Oh, God, Oh, God,
- God, no! - What is it? What is it?
Get up,
Would you quit it?
Wake up!
Wake up! Wake up!
- Come on! - Wake up!
He doesn't have a pulse, Do you know how to fix that?
I'm not too nervous, I can't feel it either,
He doesn't have one, Do you know how to fix?
I'm so sorry,
No! No! Oh, my God,
Oh, no!
Please! Help! Help me!
No! No, please!
When you are the controller of the world,
you and you alone can handle this,
- Make this happen, - Please, sir,
There's no way we'll get these ratifications taken care of,
Well, it looks like ratifications will take at least another month,
How are we supposed to watch the news, Dad?
There is no news,
What do you think about this, Solsbury?
I love it,
Would you leave your brothers goddamn body alone?
No,
God,
He just lost his son,
And so did you, And we just lost our brother,
But the brother we got to know wouldn't want me to mope,
He'd want me to take the lesson and that it'd make me feel more and more,
I just can't wait for the lawyers to get here,
What?
- They'll probably get rid of his fucking body, - Language,
Mom, we are so past that,
- And that body fucking smells, - Wa,,,
Never mind,
Any ratification requests?
You are taking the body, right?
I'm sorry, That is not in our contract,
What?
That is not in our contract,
- Would you like to file,,, - Get out,
Get the fuck out of our house now!
One more thing,,,
I would like to put in for new esquires into better, healthier food plan,
Noted,
I can't look at this fucking body anymore,
- If we take it outside, our trackers will go off, - Then let them go off,
Sweetheart, Sweetheart,
I know I've been upset and angry, but I can't stand losing you too,
Then don't, Dad, I can't move his body by myself,
I'm going to help,
Thanks, Mom,
This is insane!
What are you talking about?
We're talking about going outside with the big fellow,
Yeah, Dad, I'm talking about going out,
- Don't you just want to go outside? - The fresh air sounds grand,
You can't kill yourselves,
Dad, not doing what we want to get what we want
to return is killing ourselves,
I want people to go outside,
So I'm going outside,
We're just going outside?
Yeah, Dad, we're just going outside,
Oh, God,
- Thanks, sweetheart, - Fucking love you,
I love you,
We love you,
Step away from the exit,
You are not within a safe distance from the exit,
Step away from the exit,
You are leaving the legal parameters,
The legal parameters have been left, Calmly wait for your esquires,
You will die, The legal parameters have been left,
Calmly wait for your esquires, You will die,
The legal parameters have been left,
Calmly wait for your esquires, You will die,
The legal parameters have been left,
Calmly wait for your esquires, You will die,
We will live,
Calmly wait for your esquires, You will die,
The legal parameters have been left,
Calmly wait for your esquires, You will die,
I was just thinking of something that Garp said,
He said that,,, "Life is when you feel,"
Nice,
Little problem,
Excuse me!
For breach of contract,,,
,,,you are all sentenced to death,
Fuck off!
- Ready? - Don't touch my fucking shoulder, man,
Don't touch my fucking shoulder,
And that's how what I had really wanted began,
Families came outside one by one
like a single fire, because Garp was vulnerable,
because Garp stood naked in front of the window,
The entire world is standing naked in front of their window,
The entire world was connecting,
The simple feeling of connection I wanted years before,
the feeling I created a drug that let you live
your wildest dreams for,
The feelings I so desperately wanted,
The feeling of connection,
That feeling wasn't a feeling at all,
but a truth,
Whether we feel connected or not,
we are connected, And God knew it,
It was not technology in our way,
No, no, it was us,
And because Garp stood naked in front of that window, people freed themselves
because of one man putting out what he really wanted,
We all got to share in something beautiful,
And even though Garp died, many more people lived,,,
,,,by being honest about wanting
to see a girl naked in a window,
By being himself, Garp rebooted the entire world,
The technology, the politics,
They're all out the window,
And I hope that is how we will live without Garp, And how I want you to live
without me,
Without Ward,
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