Chris,
I have no more time,
This will be my last post,
You have the package I sent you and the address to take it to,
Hope you get it because the rest is up to you,
Well, everything is ready for your stay,
Where are you from ?
Denver,
How was the trip ?
A long time,
Well please leave it as you found it and put the keys
in the mailbox when you leave,
My number is in the guest book if you need it, but try not to,
Do you have many guests here these days?
Not these days,
Good morning,
Where the fuck are you, Chris?
I'm just sorting out a few things,
Where are you ?
I will be back soon,
Karen said your passport was missing,
That's all she knows about where you are,
You left everything to Karen
and she's pregnant for God's sake,
I will be back in a few days,
You are about to have a child, Chris,
Yes, a few days,
That's all,
And the faculty?
Staff do not need babysitting,
That's why I hired them,
I know the news hit you hard, but Billy was sick,
Growing up in this house was inevitable, but we can't blame you,
We all stopped listening to his nonsense,
I know you feel guilty for not being there when he did what he did,
Where the fuck are you, Chris?
Chris?
Chris
Thanks for following the breadcrumb trail,
I knew you'd be the only one to find them, and
probably the only one who cared enough to look,
Now listen to my voice,
My breathing is regular, I seem fully conscious,
I am not what
you all think I am,
Since what happened to me and my team,
my rabbit hole just a little too deep,
Too deep for those around me to follow,
I know now that you have received calls about me,
And I know you're hoping what you've been told isn't true,
Above all,,,
Especially since it is now too late to ask me,
Where it all began, long before our expedition
was a study of a psychological phenomenon
we called "The Primordial Fear",
The realization that the universe is so vast
and so infinite, that you see how horribly
insignificant in the grand scale of existence,
This inescapable thought becomes a dangerous
obsession for some mentally vulnerable people,
If you really think it's so small, so unimportant,
What would be the point of anything?
Why go to work?
Why procreate?
Why stay in touch with loved ones?
Because none of that makes any difference,
This thought literally drives some people crazy, usually
leading to a psychiatric ward or committing suicide,
Unfortunately, it's usually the last,
What this study led to and what became our focus was a smaller portion
of those people who actually embraced this spiral into insanity,
refusing to commit suicide,
We found staggering consistencies in accounts from people
from all walks of life, in different corners of the globe,
Who all shared the same story, almost word for
word of what they felt was an indisputable truth,
That, existence is an endless dream of an ancient deity,
More omnipotent and omnipresent than
The one we pray to, the one they call "The Origin",
Each of these believers also asked the
same question, the basis of their belief,
What if this entity wakes up?
Would we disappear from existence or would we rejoin the Origin in its own reality?
Well, that's what these people are hoping for,
They hope to awaken this sleeper and end a universe that ignores them,
No one can be insignificant if no one exists,
I leave you our research on their accounts,
All I want you to do is verify our findings,
Then if you feel fit to pass it on to the
people who accuse me of these things, then,
So I guess it's up to you,
But if you are here, God, I hope you are,
Then you have time to read, to listen, to testify,
If I'm being honest, Chris is, that's all I want, uh,
a witness to prove that I've spent the end of my life
on something tangible, something real,
If you can do it for me, then we're square,
I release you from this guilt that you have always
felt, even though none of this was ever your fault,
Do this for me, Chris,
Please,
I don't even know where to start,
Jesus Billy,
What was I thinking?
Gods and followers,
You are alone in the maelstrom,
Hope is just a shimmer on the horizon,
Open a door to light the way,
I'm waiting on the other side,
I saw you !
All right,
Well, that's what it's like to piss off,
Couldn't you have done it in a beach shack in Hawaii?
You asshole,
All right,
Open the door, light the way (repeat)
Good morning
Mrs, Duffy?
Yes,
It's Chris, Chris Rivers,
I was Billy's friend,
Chris,
Yes Madam,
Ho are you doing ?
I'm doing well,
Yeah,
Uh, how, how are you,,,
Uh, you know, I heard about Billy and I know I should've, uh,
Yes I am,
I'm just, I'm so sorry for Billy,
I just wanted to say that,
It's good,
Hopefully, wherever he is, he finds some peace,
Something he hasn't had much in his life,
You are such a brilliant influence,
Coming back to the UK was one of the worst things we could have done in hindsight,
No, we, uh, you know, we understood why you
left and we were, we were so proud of you,
It was so brave,
I appreciate that,
But whatever problems his father was causing, it was unfair to remove William
round trips around the world,
He was still unstable,
He just didn't know where his house was,
Well, he knew it was with you, Mrs, Duffy,
You are a good friend, Chris,
I don't know, I haven't spoken to him for over a year,
I mean, I tried once, but I was, uh, I was always too busy and
It was not easy to reach,
And when you caught him well, his attention was elsewhere,
Well, that's what I'm calling to be honest,
Um, I'm sorry to drag this out, but I was wondering if you could tell me what
Billy has been doing for the past few months?
You know, what he was doing and well, why he did what he did,
He had little time to chat, but he seemed focused,
For the first time in a long time after a project somewhere in,,,
,,,Eastern Europe ?
Czechoslovakia or,,,
Serbia or,,,
Bosnia,
Yes that's it !
When he returned he had become obsessed with a country area
we used to vacation in the summer, A cottage in Wales,
He asked me all these questions about it and the nearby woods,
Endless questions about those woods he played in,
I found out he had been in that cottage for months
walking through the moors and into the woods every day,
I thought it was a peaceful way to live,
It seemed positive, unfortunately, soon
after the owner found him in the addiction,
Mrs, Duffy?
Yes,
I'm sorry I wasn't there,
None of us were in love,
And if we were, I doubt we could have done much,
I think he made that decision a long time ago,
But, you're gonna hold your head up high and
if you need anything, you're gonna let me know,
All right ?
THANKS,
I will do it,
And Chris?
Yes Madam,
Please take care of yourself,
Life is not a rehearsal,
Don't waste it,
Yes Madam,
Goodbye Chris,
Bye
We started spending all our time looking for signs
of those people who spoke of that sleeping deity,
We searched wherever there were reports of, shall we say, excessive murders,
Anything ritual with a telltale signature left at the scene,
A circle within a circle,
We found many,
When they were arrested, these people all spoke of exactly the same doctrine,
Talking incessantly to wake up the sleeping one,
They believe in causing so many deaths,
chaos and fear that their ancient God will notice them, choose them because of
sheer pleasure it would feel,
They say it feeds on suffering,
The chosen ones are apparently sent through some
doorway to cross over to the very thing they worship,
Frankly, these discoveries were intoxicating,
Yes, these people are psychologically damaged,
They were already bent in the wind and "The Primordial Fear" finally broke them,
But, why are dozens of people thousands of miles apart all scriptures
quotes quotes written about the same imaginary cosmic being,
We ended up spending all our time following them,
If you browse through our findings, you will see them,
We had found curiosities, caves, sewers, woods, Out of the way places
to accomplish their depravities,
Even here we found them here,
That's pretty close mate,
Emergency, What service ?
Police,
Police, what's your emergency?
Good morning, I'm staying in a Brent Nas cottage in the
valley, and there's a, there's a man trying to break in,
He broke in last night too and uh and he looks dangerous,
Where is this man now?
And he's standing right outside my window,
Sir, I need you to stay calm, someone,,,
Good morning ?
Good morning !
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,
Interview with Jason Vanderberg,
April 8, 2019 in Pretoria, South Africa,
Recorded after murdering his wife and child, He was the first person
who spoke to The Origin that we were able to meet face to face,
The interview resulted in the death of my associate Gurdeep Singh,
Are you burdened with religion, Mr, Duffy?
Sunday school, child,
I tried to be a believer,
Every Sunday I sat there and listened,
Something to help me find courage in the torment that consumes me,
Do you know why he doesn't answer our prayers Mr, Duffy?
He is afraid,
Terrified,
To wake up something much older than him,
He knows that by helping us, HE would notice,
You see, your God is a fucking coward,
The IT department answers me when I call,
HE listens, he tells me when he wakes up,
I will be rewarded for my devotion and when it drowns this world,
I will not offer my hand to save any of you,
And everything you love will flow with you!
Let him go ! Guards! Guards!
What do you want ?
Police, Was there a break-in report?
He's laughing at me two days in a row now that he's been robbed,
He left things, took things,
I do not know what to do,
He wants me badly, that's for sure,
Looks like he is playing with his food,
All right,
If you see him again, give us a call,
I was nearby when they called it, but we might not be that quick
reply next time, Don't feel safe?
Maybe it's time to move on,
Yeah, I'm here for a few more days, so,,,
If I was harassed, alone on vacation, I'd be
home faster than a ferret down a drainpipe,
Do you know who he is?
If I knew, I would talk to him,
Can I see your real ID?
Not just your uniform?
Good evening, sir,
Open the door, light the way (repeat)
Our path led to Perusica, Bosnia,
Several of those we followed have been there,
A team of seven people took part in the expedition,
My team grew from the executive branch
of our organization, increased our funding,
They were fascinated by the consistency of our reports,
We showed them the road map of atrocities heading towards the
Balkans from different continents,
People leaving their signature circle
in a circle at each horror filled site,
We spent months searching in southern Bosnia, but found nothing,
During the whole winter, there were no related incidents,
We couldn't figure out why,
Eventually we had to go home,
With a lack of plane tickets available
during the holidays, we decided to head back,
But uh, in every town we stopped to sleep
in, we woke up with stories of nightmares,
As we moved from country to country, local police would find blood soaked
sacrifices in the woods or abandoned buildings near where we stayed,
We realized that we had fallen into their trap,
They were stalking us,
Where we moved, they moved too, leaving the destruction behind,
We couldn't go home, we couldn't risk our families,
The authorities logically decided that it was not suitable
for us, we continue the same bloody trail through Europe,
That's when the charges against us started,
So when we arrived in the UK my team started going one by one,
Everyone who did was found dead a few days later, along with their families,
Each carrying the circle within a circle,
Eventually, only my assistant Paula and I stayed together,
I remembered a place in Wales where my family was vacationing,
An old cottage away from it all,
If they followed us there, the collateral damage would be limited,
They didn't take long to find us,
Deep in the woods, we met them in the middle of one of their rituals,
They had a man tied up as they cut his skin,
Dozens of them stood there in the dark watching,
The most disturbing part was not that they opened it, but
that he seemed to enjoy it,
He wanted it,
Their leader just stood there in the dark watching,
Seeing him, Paula couldn't help but scream,
They chased us for hours through the woods,
All,
I separated from her,
I couldn't find her, I did not find it,
Months later, Paula showed up at the hospital,
She just walked to the front door,
But she was no longer her,
Almost wild, covered in strange scars, but, but she was alive,
I thank someone up there for that,
But they continued to follow me,
I see the observer outside everyday in black taunting me,
I refuse to let them drive me crazy,
But I don't know how long I'll last,
Where are you ?
Karen,
Chris? How can you do this to me?
I had no idea if you were alive or dead,
How could you take off like that?
No, I know, I know, I'm sorry,
You know the call about Billy, it just, uh, broke me,
I had to, I had to see what had happened,
Why didn't you talk to me?
We are a team,
You don't just run away wherever you are without a word,
Wales,
What ?
But I'm going home today,
You know, I'm done,
I just wanted to help Billy's family find something
and you know, I just need to know what happened,
He was sick, Chris,
I don't think he was, not anymore,
I'm sorry about your friend, I really am,
But he's gone now,
Your family is here,
We need you,
The baby will be here in a few weeks,
What if he comes earlier?
Yes you are right, I know I know, You are right,
I will take the first flight,
All right ? I promise,
You promise ?
I swear, I really miss you,
And knock,
So go home, asshole,
Yes Madam,
Now move your ass Rivers, We are waiting,
And keep that fucking phone on,
Yeah, I'm on my way,
Was it you?
Did you force him to do it?
You stay away from me,
All right ?
You understand ?
Paula, can you hear me?
It's really you ?
It's me,
No, it's not true that he's still there,
It's me, Paula, It's William,
You liked the loudest music,
Too strong, too angry for someone who is never angry,
I liked Billy,
I still love you too,
And it wasn't his fault,
I wanted to go with him,
Change our lives, he said,
Change the world, maybe,
I said that,
And he kept his promise,
Everything changed,
I'm sorry for what happened to you,
It happened to him too,
There are fingers pointing at us now,
accusing us of what happened to our friends,
I have to try to find more evidence and hope for some hope for both of us,
I hope !
Hope is nothing more than a shimmer on the horizon, and no
matter how many steps you take, it's out of reach for both of us,
Stop chasing the shimmer,
Billy: Paula! Paul! Please !
Why are you showing me this?
You haven't understood yet?
You will,
But if you are here, then you have time,
To, witness,
If I'm being honest Chris, that's all I want, A witness to prove that I spent the end of my life
on something tangible, something real,
If you can do it for me, then we're square,
I release you from the guilt you have always felt,
even though none of this was ever your fault,
Do this for me Chris,
Please,
Open the door, light the way, (say again)
Do you know what they are?
They are doors,
How far ?
Redemption, forgiveness,
How can each of us spare the weight of guilt we carry?
All that pain, all that guilt,
She will help you wash it,
Like all doors, they are there to be opened,
You hold the key in your hand,
Open it,
No,
Open it,
No,
Open it,
No !
Open the door, light the way, (say again)
Open them!
Why are you doing this to me ?
We're trying to save you, Christopher,
Enough to ?
Of yourself,
Of those dark thoughts you have when you want to get rid of
yourself from shame, from guilt,
This guilt, this guilt is what keeps me going,
It's a lie,
It's the weight that's drowning you,
Open a door and be blessed,
They are waiting outside,
What will happen if I do?
Each open door provides a little
light in the darkness on the other side,
The more doors we open, the more light
seeps in until we finally wake up, IT,
You see, HE wants to wake up and He grants
blessings to those who provide more light,
Blessings that can wash away the stench of shame that follows you,
How do you know who I am?
You know how,
Billy,
Oh, Billy,
You,
You fucking killed him,
You fucking lynched him,
No, he's one of the chosen ones, one of us,
No, that's a fucking lie,
He was stalking you to reveal you, to stop you,
Was he?
Did he ever say he wanted to arrest us?
He was hurt, broken from a tortured life he didn't deserve,
He saw that we have become purposeful,
unburdened by the weight of our past lives,
He saw us as his salvation,
And unlike all of you,
We would never give it up,
No, I always watched over him,
I still have the scars of standing between him and his shitty father,
I always watched over him,
I showed him a normal life, It was I who tried to keep in touch,
Billy is the one who stopped all efforts to talk to me,
I was his oldest friend,
His only friend,
Ah, so it's about you,
We would never blame him for the life he wanted to lead,
Of course I fucking blame him,
Why wouldn't he ask me for help?
Or his mother or anyone?
Why didn't he talk to me instead of go get a fucking goose hunt
to get answers from crazy jobs like you?
He should have spoken to me,
I would have been there for him,
All I ever wanted was to make sure he was safe, to make
sure he was happy, and it was fucking selfish what he did,
Not a thought for the people who loved him, not thinking of the devastation
that would leave behind for his loved ones, one phone call, and I
would fucking be there for him,
Do you fucking understand that?
I would have been there for him,
Not you,
Who's the selfish now Christopher?
Billy called and called,
Hi ! Hey hey hey No!
Okay, that was just to tell us his crazy stories,
No, it wasn't to tell us how much he was suffering,
And why do you think he needed to tell you these stories?
The sound of your voice would have soothed this pain you speak of,
Instead, you ignored it,
Make an offering, open a door and be blessed, or continue
to be a selfish, wicked creature and to drown with others,
Choose !
Open the door, light the way, (say again)
Open the door, light the way! (repetition)
There is another way to notice you, of course,
The defiance, the rejection of his benefits, will make him angry more than you think,
Be very careful, Christophe,
When you notice an anthill, you don't take offense at a single ant,
You walk the whole hill,
Do you understand ?
If you refuse this gift that we offer you, our disappointment will be
not just be shown to yourself,
But to your friends, your family, Billy's family,
his mother, your fucking wife, your unborn child,
Reject us and you will drown in their blood,
Choose Christophe wisely,
Wisdom has never been my forte,
How can you do this?
You shit,
Are you crazy ?
I can't believe you talk like that about me, about your child,
I don't know if you're drunk or if you just went crazy, but hey,
I don't ever want to see you again either,
Our child is better off without you,
We both are,
Next post
Chris, what's wrong with you?
I just spoke to Dean Forsett,
He fires you!
Why would you say these things to someone who has been so supportive of you?
And now you no longer have the courage to answer my phone,
Wherever you are, stay in your hole,
And rot!
Open the door, light the way,
He is awake
Selected
Blessed
The light wakes up, He see,
Have you seen ?
He saw
He sees you as we do,
You are one of us now,
Connected
Guided
You see ?
What's happening to me?
The door has been opened,
He sees you now,
In turn, this helps you see,
What do I see?
Blessings, connection and foresight,
What is and what will be,
No ! I will not do it,
Where are you going, Christopher?
Hmm, this is getting boring,
Get away from me,
I'm afraid that's no longer an option,
We are connected, all of us,
Watch out, Christopher,
We will no longer accept refusals,
Again ?
Billy,
This coward,
He refused his blessings,
He didn't deserve what was being offered to him,
He thought he could fight,
I thought he might turn us down, trying to drive us away,
But he knew he couldn't resist forever,
Unfortunately, he found the challenge a little too late in life,
Finally, our disappointment showed itself,
We left him in the addiction,
Good for you Billy,
He was weak,
That's not what I hear,
The little pig hung the big bad wolf,
He was a coward,
We are only brave when we are afraid,
He stood up to you,
Damn yes Billy,
Silence !
An evil empire challenged by the guy always chosen last in school,
It's about you,
You're going to obey or your wife will take your place, and
how we're going to make her suffer with the baby inside her,
What were the options again?
Submit, become one or your family will die,
Yeah, well, A and B are endearing options,
I choose option C,
NO !
Billy?
Where are we ?
I don't know,
But I know I'm safe here somehow, and after all,
that's good enough for me,
You shouldn't be here,
I think I cheated on them,
Yeah,
They don't like it,
Did you do the same as me?
Maybe,
I think I zagged when I should have zagged,
I don't remember very well,
They told me you were one of them,
Their lies try to make you see what isn't there,
They told me you fought some of them,
Well, it turns out I'm pretty tough when pushed,
I think I created this place,
have a safe place,
From them,
How are you ?
I fade away every day,
I forget more, but
It's good,
It's my time,
My terms,
Can I stay with you?
Hey, no, no, It's not your time,
Also, you have a son to meet first,
A son ?
Yeah,
We didn't even know that yet,
You will be a good father, Chris,
I don't know,
How do you know ?
Because you have always watched over me,
This guilt that you run away from,
It just means you care,
You don't need it anymore,
You were more than me and you have to realize that's good,
Swim in your wake,
it just made me a better swimmer,
You saved me from sinking,
You big wimp, (laughs)
Me ?
Hi ! I am terrifying,
So what happens now?
It's clear,
That's it ?
It's clear !
Can you hear me ?
Sir ? Can you hear me ?
We'll lose him if we don't move him now!
Are you ready ? Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Mr, Rivers?
Take it slow, take it slow, Everything's good,
How ? How am I here?
Came back to the cabin to see how you were, and found your rookie the car is still
there and a pool of blood on the ground with no body, I guess that's not great,
You're lucky to be here, Chris,
Now can you remember anything that happened to you?
We'll discuss it when you're all healed, All right ?
If there's any sign of wrongdoing, I'll have to check if I'm scared,
But right now, I think someone wants to talk to you,
Chris?
Karen?
It's me, baby,
It was not me,
It wasn't me, Karen,
I know, It's good, it's good,
They told me what someone did to you,
All I care about now is if you're okay,
I did not sleep,
I paced around, staring at my phone for hours while you were gone,
I am really sorry,
I'm so sorry,
Don't worry about it now, we'll get you back on your feet,
We'll take you home to your family,
I will take care of you,
They say they'll tell me when you're up so,,,
,,,I can bring you a return ticket,
There are too many things we don't know about
what lives the darkness outside our doors,
We sit ignorant in the comfort of our mundane lives,
Safe in the knowledge that we can understand all possible dangers,
But, for those of you who ignore this crazy friend
stories about the end of the world, Maybe, just maybe,,,
,,,you should listen,