Bomb crashes airraid siren wails
Air whistles through mask
Indistinct shouts
Woman whimpers
Car door opens and shuts
man: Mrs christie,
You look like my mum,
You shaved your moustache, Yeah,
Distinguishable feature,
You look like mrs Danvers, He laughs
that's not a good thing,
She's the housekeeper, I know who she is,
Agatha: Is everything ready?
Tied up like a Nazi in a brothel,
That's,,, not very reassuring,
Plans haven't changed since the last time we spoke
just as they hadn't changed the time before that,
Relax,
The death of poirot won't be in vain,
New man?
Not so new,
Faithful?
Not so faithful,
He knows which side his bread's buttered,
You've grown up,
Yes, - I like it,
So do I,
What about you?
Is the war good for business? He sighs
terrible, Market's flooded with amateurs,
Well, we all make sacrifices,
Yeah, not all of us can sacrifice a few words
for £20,000, - £55,000,
You,,, you said 20!
Words! Words,
Oh,
Well, it's still a healthy commission,
And with the inland revenue stalking me
I need every penny,
Are you sure you want to do this?
Not really, but I don't have a choice,
I'm almost bankrupt,
These people are most likely criminals,
Well, that's why I've got you,
Fine,
But if I have to kill anyone
I want danger money on top of me 10%,
Unless they're Canadian, She laughs
Man 2: It is time,
Thank you,
In cantonese:
He laughs - she laughs
mr lei would be grateful
if you could make every endeavour to,,,
Look your best whilst representing him,
In cantonese:
Ok, He clears throat
in cantonese:
She laughs
We should go,
Would you like to hear our air-raid procedures?
Man: Not really,
Would you like to hear my opinion on Americans?
Agatha: Is there any nationality you do tolerate?
The Russians,
You know where you stand with the Russians,
They tell you before they stab you in the back,
The Americans will stab you in the back
watch you bleed out
and then offer to sell you a funeral plan,
You haven't changed,
That's cos I was already perfect,
Besides, you can't trust people who do,
Five minutes ago, you said you liked it!
When we first met, you spent most of the time lying,
It seems to me, you stopped pretending to be
someone you're not,
That isn't really change,
Am I really that transparent? I won't tell anyone,
They might take advantage of it,
I'd like to see them try,
In cantonese:
Mr lei wishes to know,,,
What do you do when you're not protecting people?
I play the saxophone, - Hmm,
In cantonese:
She laughs he says,,,
Mrs christie, it is a pleasure to meet you,
I have read every one of your books
and believe you to be the finest author
of detective novels in the world,
Oh! She laughs
that's very kind of you,
But I'm old enough and,,,
Modest enough to know that conan Doyle is better,
In cantonese
conan Doyle? He spits
if anyone in chungking mansions
is found reading Sherlock Holmes
they're soon looking for a new home,
I'm very happy to know that my hard work
will be in the hands of someone who appreciates it,
In cantonese
Man: Have you got the money?
In our culture
these proceedings have certain,,, formalities,
Well, in our culture, you have to pay
before you see the bearded woman,
Mr lei has £20,000 in his coat pocket,
Mr vella is here to ensure
it remains there until we have the manuscript,
Sounds reasonable,
And the deed,
I'll sign it when I have the money,
And then the manuscript will be legally yours
and you can do whatever you want with it,
Agreed,
Let's seal this with a drink,
Soft one,
You don't drink? - No,
Since when?
Since forever,
Ah!
He whistles qi!
Four zombies and a soda water,
Assuming your wop likes to stay sharp?
I'm Maltese, Oh, you speak english,
You drink?
Only with people I don't want to punch,
He laughs
alright, well, I don't know what a zombie is,
You wanna see the cocktail menu?
You're the first American I've met
who doesn't know how to make a zombie,
How about I make the drinks and you pay for 'em?
Air-raid siren wails
perhaps now you'd like to hear about our air-raid procedures?
Door slams
we need to get below ground,
Now!
You need to pull yourself together,
Do you know how many times I've heard that siren?
Ninety-six,
Can you guess how many times I've been blown up?
I'm enjoying a civilised drink in an uncivilised place,
I couldn't care less
if Hitler was attacking on a fucking unicorn,
Chin-chin, - She giggles
Agatha: Is it possible it's a false alarm?
Attacks this far out are unusual,
My name is PC o'hanauer, I'm here to make sure
that you're not being scooped up with trowels tomorrow morning,
As the only occupied public building in the vicinity
I'm instructed to evacuate you or find shelter
and there's no time for evacuation, Do you have cellars?
Um,,,
We have a, uh, shelter in the ballroom,
It's, uh, pretty strong,
Is it strong enough to survive
this building falling on top of it?
Well, it's just through there
along with the second largest gramophone
in London, You wanna see?
Is there a cellar?
It is against fire regulations to let the public go down there,
Man: How about if we're on fire?
Let me guess,
You're using it for storing black market goods,
Just tell me where the cellars are,
In cantonese:
It's behind the bar, down the stairs,
Woman: You take me to all the best places, darling,
She giggles
in an orderly fashion
please make your way down the stairs,
Or what?
Or you'll be watching phosphorus
burn through your internal organs,
Well, you may be invincible, darling,,,
But I'm not,
Come on! - He sighs
Evening, ladies,
What are nice girls like you doing in a place like this?
We're tourists, - Sightseeing,
It's a,,, cheap time to visit London,
This'll do fine,
Make your guests at home, I'm going back upstairs
check there's no one left behind,
He whispers
In Italian
apparently,,,
Everything in this shithole is his,
In Italian
He chuckles he's threatening us,
You cannot buy his stuff
but if you take it,,,
Yes?
What happens if we take it?
I kill you,
How? By mangling the english language?
Woman gasps
you're supposed to be protecting me, not starting a fight!
Now we know what we're up against,
Any more questions?
How much for this '93 d'yquem?
She sighs - oh,
We can't afford to let this interfere with our plans,
You really do need the money, don't you?
Yes,
Well, better get a move on,
Our man's a little nervous,
Don't worry, it's not as if,,, Muffled explosions
She pants
the docks are burning,
Aren't they rather a long way off?
Have you ever been in an air raid?
They'll follow a line up the thames, We're the next stop,
How do you know?
Have you two just escaped from the funny farm?
Did you see any markers?
Something to suggest that we're a target?
Flares or fires?
Anything that could be a guide to the German bombers?
Didn't see any markers,
Then hopefully,,,
Goering will leave us alone,
And if he doesn't,,,
We're safe here,
Think of all those poor people up,,,
Indistinct conversation
Your new man?
Max,
No,
Here's hoping you change your mind,
Max will be fine,
I've seen your house,
Take a direct hit, I'd still struggle to break in,
Also, think about it,
They've dropped hundreds of thousands of bombs, and what
killed ten people,
Chances of Max going for a Burton
are about the same as me going straight,
He whistles
♪ Goering has only got one ball ♪
♪ Hitler has plums so very small ♪
♪ Himmler's so fucking similar ♪
♪ And poor old goebbels has no balls at all ♪
♪ Hitler has only got one ball ♪
Man joins in
♪ the other is in the Albert hall ♪
♪ His mother, the dirty bugger ♪
♪ Cut his wang off when he got too tall ♪
All join in
♪ she threw it into the apple tree ♪
♪ It fell off into the deep blue sea ♪
♪ The fishes took out their dishes ♪
♪ And had scallops and bollocks for tea ♪
Thank you,
Right, let's sell this bloody thing and go home,
Mr lei sighs
woman: Frankie,
Maybe now's not the best time,
We just need to be tactful,
Maybe I'll be tactful whilst you guard the manuscript,
It's not going anywhere,
Of course,
But maybe I should,,,
Trust me?
In cantonese:
Would you mind opening this door?
I, I don't think the man who threatened to kill us
would be happy,,, in cantonese
now!
Enter this room, I carve my name on your balls,
He laughs what is your name?
Eli sciacchitano,
My balls aren't that big,
Ok, there's a policewoman over there,
Why don't we pick this up after the bombs stop falling?
Until next time,
After you, - Thank you,
Woman: Just give him a moment,
Mr lei pants
I need to show you something,
Could you tell mr lei I'll be back shortly?
Yes, of course,
In cantonese
I took my eyes off it for 30 seconds,
That's my future,
I thought Mussolini was about to stab you,
Is everything alright?
She left the oven on,
Did you see anyone near my bag?
Something's missing? Our privacy,
Since when did you start trusting strangers
with our business? I trusted you!
I was making sure you didn't get perforated,
I wasn't in any danger,
If you die, I don't get paid,
If I don't sell the manuscript, nobody gets paid,
You do realise that 10% of nothing is nothing?
I'm aware,
At least without this,,,
It's stolen property,
Hmm, Or unfinished business,
It can't have been taken on purpose,
Should we leave?
That's not like you,
I wasn't expecting trouble,
Might have,,,
Exaggerated my skills as a bodyguard,
I might have downplayed the importance of this deal,
If I'd have known, I'd have asked for more money,
She laughs
can't believe I'm laughing,
Man: What do we do now?
We find out who has the manuscript and take it back,
Could be anyone,
Frankie might have paid someone to steal it,
Storeroom, over there,
Ok,
Man: Where do we start?
By breaking your golden rule,
Never rub another man's rhubarb?
Your other one,
Concerning the police,,,
And keeping one's mouth shut,
And I always thought no one ever listened to me,
Excuse me?
Yeah?
My name is,,, Yeah, I know who you are,
I need to report a theft,
Now? - Yes,
Right, what?
Something important was stolen out of my bag
a few minutes ago,
What is it? - A manuscript,
Doesn't sound important,
Are you looking for something?
Perhaps I can help, I'm good at finding things,
Well, find your manuscript, It's been stolen,
There's a reward, - She scoffs
I'm a police constable,
So it's your job to investigate a crime,
Right,
I'll look into it, - When?
When the air raid's over,
When everyone's left?
Got me hands full, - Doing what?
I'll make a deal with you,
I told you, I'm an officer of the law,
All you have to do is stop people from leaving,
Well, they can't leave, there's an air raid,
Stop them from leaving, even if they choose to ignore it,
And? - And what?
What's in it for me?
I thought you were a police officer,
I won't write a bestselling series of novels
about an idiotic PC called o'hanauer,
Always wanted to be a villain,
I can do that,
Not a stupid one,
Indistinct conversation
What happened?
She'll stop people from leaving,
Gate clanks
What now?
We find out if Frankie's behind all this,
Something funny about those two,
Agatha: You noticed?
Can't put my finger on it, They're lying,
Everyone's lying,
He sighs in cantonese:
Mrs christie, he is most happy to see you,
My manuscript has been stolen,
In cantonese
She grunts Frankie,
He grunts in cantonese:
Oh, sorry, where are my manners?
Oh, no, thank you,
Could you tell mr lei that whoever took the manuscript
is still here, We need to find out who
so we can conclude our business and go home,
In cantonese
In cantonese:
He screams
We should,,, ask Rocco
what he thinks would be the best way
to find the person responsible,
I think I know who has it,
You do?
Follow me,
He gasps - she gasps
in cantonese:
Um,,,
Mr lei is not feeling well,
Can we do anything?
No, I'll stay with him,
I think he feels better in this room,
It makes him feel,,,
Safe, - Yes,
He clears throat
in cantonese
In Italian
no,
I have come to take back what you stole from this lady,
She doesn't look like she has anything good to steal,
I'm about to win a particularly good bottle of Taylor's,,,
So would you mind fucking off?
You are a great man, mr Campbell
but I can't do that,
It's "sir," actually,
Hand over the manuscript, and I will consider us even,
In Italian
Woman screams - Agatha gasps
Woman: No!
Woman screams
oh, my,,,
Oh,,,
He chokes - are you alright?
He chokes,,, in cantonese
Do something!
Uh,,, undo his button, Give him some air,
In cantonese
give me a hand,
In cantonese
we need to sit on his chest,
What? He's having a heart attack,
If you don't apply pressure, he'll die,
He groans
where in god's name did you learn that?
I'm saving his life,
Get off him and help me get him on his front,
Move! - Did I tell you to move?
He yells
In cantonese
She gasps
When you've finished stuffing the Christmas Turkey
I think you'll find he's dead, Dead?
Oh, much like that servant you contained,
Grace has spent the last few minutes
trying to talk him back to life,
It didn't work,
Woman: Frankie!
In cantonese
keep going!
In cantonese
he's,,, he's dead,
Who'd have thought it? Witchcraft doesn't work,
Have some respect!
I'll show respect when you lot start doing what I say,
Sir Malcolm is right,
I killed him,
Agatha: It was self-defence,
And all's well that ends well,
In my day, deserters would be shot,
It looks like we've got ourselves a morgue,
You'd better bring in the body,
That wasn't a request,
This area's out of bounds until the authorities arrive,
We can't just leave him here,
Look, I'm sorry, We can't just leave him,,,
I'm sorry, but we've got no choice,
Next time someone questions my authority
I will arrest them,
Indistinct chatter
How could Frankie just die?
He never had any,,, Any heart problems before?
No,
He was,,, Easily excitable, but,,,
No, he was in good health,
I need to ask you something,
What?
Where's the money?
The money?
It,,, it's in his pocket,
You think someone did this? Shh!
It's possible we're being targeted,
But the only people that knew about it
were you,,,
I have never killed anyone before,
We have to check if Frankie still has the money,
Man: That's easier said than done,
Second thoughts,,,
Leave that with me,
Got a way for you to atone for your sins,
Just promise you'll try not to kill anyone else,
Go talk to the policewoman,
Trust me,
I'm going to get you in that room,
Man: Hey, my Italian's not up to much
but Rocco tells me you're a stronzo,
I think that means you're a fucker
but I'm not really sure,
Indistinct chatter
what do you want?
I think two deaths in one night is enough
Eli: You hear this?
You hear what this murdering pig is calling me?
So if I am a stronzo,,, Stop that,
You are coward,
Stop it! Oi! - Eli in Italian
The money's gone
and I think he was poisoned,
I assume whoever did it has the manuscript,
And needs the deed,
My instinct says we can trust jun, Rocco,,,
Audrey and Nell,
But my instinct when it comes to trust is usually wrong,
How can we trust jun and Rocco?
They're the only ones that knew about the money,
Look, we should set a trap,
Use the deed to draw out whoever it is,
And risk losing that as well?
Well, how about I tell everyone I've heard the all-clear
and we see who makes a run for it?
I imagine they all will,
Do you have a better plan?
Yes,
To not catch the killer,
Do nothing? - Not nothing,
We find the manuscript and go home,
We give up?
No, not give up,
We live to fight another day,
Sounds a lot like giving up,
Ah, well,
In for a penny, in for a pound,
You realise I have neither? Then I'll take it on tick,
Well, you'll be joining a long queue,
I know where you live,
So,,,
All we have to do is
get the killer to give you back the manuscript
for no reason,
Let me guess,,,
You're going to tell everyone who you are and ask politely,
She clears throat
my name is Agatha christie,
I'm a novelist,
Someone here has stolen something very important to me,
Please may I have it back?
You're Agatha christie?
Audrey: What's been stolen?
Malcolm: Clearly not her sense of humour,
If she's Agatha christie
I'm the emperor of Japan,
O'hanauer: She is Agatha christie,
I've seen her picture in paper,
I told you she looked familiar,
Bollocks,
What on earth would Agatha christie be doing here?
If you want our help, perhaps you should be more forthcoming,
I don't want your help, I just want my manuscript back,
Without the deed,,,
You can't sell it,
It's, it's worthless,
What's it about?
Your missing novel,
Someone who thinks they can get away with murder,
And it isn't missing,
It's been stolen,
By one of you,
What's the reward?
If I find it,
The reward is not going to prison,
A grand,
A thousand pounds?
That's what I said,
Is that right, ms christie?
How do I know you have a thousand pounds?
Oh, her books sell like prophylactics in a whorehouse,
She's richer than the queen,
Well, that worked,
I was hoping to,,, To reason with them
not start a wild goose chase,
Better than nothing,
And what if somebody actually finds it?
Where am I going to get a thousand pounds?
Mm,
Didn't think of that,
Tell you what?
If I find it, you can add it to my tab,
Bollocks,
Something wrong?
It seems that telepathic ability declines with age,
Like most things,
Everything but one's sex life,
Three of hearts,
He sighs it's very unfortunate,
Why did you call the barman a deserter?
Why else would a Canadian be here?
I thought he was American,
Only people with an acute sense of hearing
can tell the difference, What are you two doing?
Did you know that Canada isn't actually a country?
This is not it!
Gentlemen, gentlemen! Eli in Italian
as I was trying to say to mr stabby here
this is sheet music for a number called,,,
Ooh! "Tell the gardener I am ready to be watered,"
In Italian
enough of this stupid game, I want everyone over here,
Come on, Move it,
Can I keep this?
It's a show I'd like to see, As far as I'm concerned
this manuscript isn't worth the paper it's written on
but given the disorder it's causing
I'm forced to do something about it,
I want everyone to give up their bags and belongings
for a search, Malcolm: Jack of hearts,
She giggles
I'm so sorry, what were you saying?
What right do you have to search our personal possessions?
I'm a police officer,
It doesn't work like that, How the hell would you know?
Do you like both your arms?
Grace: I don't have a bag,
What are you going to do?
See if I've stuffed it down my knickers?
I will not let you search ms yuhuan's property,
In Italian
o'hanauer: Plenty more room in the morgue,
Bet you didn't know they started issuing us with these,
Apparently, people don't respect the police anymore,
Maybe that's cos all the good ones are off fighting Germans,
I think this situation is getting out of control,
Could I make a suggestion? What?
That you only search items large enough
to contain my manuscript, Fine,
Start with the obvious criminal,
Drop the toothpick,
In Italian
Pick that up and bring it over here,
Given the dead Canadian,,,
You might want to stay in me good books,
Where's your bag?
Where is your bag?
Right, search it,
Agatha: Yes! She sighs
in Italian
do you think,,, - It's all here,
I would be so stupid as to do that?
You are being made a fool of,
Put him in with the other guests,
Indistinct chatter
I'm happy you found it
but how do I know you haven't stolen the money?
That you haven't set this whole thing up?
I'm very sorry about Frankie
but,,,
There's no proof it was murder, She laughs
perhaps all this was a coincidence,
What, so somebody just chanced on
the £20,000 in Frankie's pocket?
I have to go home to my husband,
What the hell are you two doing? We're leaving,
No, We've got two corpses and one air raid,
You're not going anywhere,
A heart attack and an accident are not reasons to keep me here,
If I want to risk getting blown up, I will,
We're leaving, - No, You're not,
What are you going to do?
Shoot me? I'll fucking shoot you,
I'll shoot anyone who doesn't follow fucking instructions,
Say one more thing,
Please,
Did you hear about the grenadier who lost
the left side of his body in an explosion?
He's alright now,
Malcolm laughs
that's very good,
My nephew,,,
Has killed 37 German pilots,
He's the worst mechanic the luftwaffe ever had,
Man laughs
all laugh
Agatha: Will you at least go
and find out if the air raid's over?
We haven't heard anything for a while,
Grace: We'd all like to leave,
Yes, so would I,
It could be dangerous up there, If you don't want to go,,,
I will, - The only thing
I don't want to do is leave you lot alone,
Man: I'll go with you,
It'd be quicker with two,
Maltese falcon can be left in charge,
Ok,
Anyone tries any funny business,,,
Feel free to forget your own strength,
Shocking, - I know,
Shall we take a seat? - Mm,
Mind if we join you? Grace: Absolutely not,
Audrey sighs thank you,
Nell sighs
I thought she was going to shoot you,
She laughs she was just trying to scare me,
Malcolm: Have you ever had a gun pointed at you before?
Not with intent,
Hmm,
Take it from me,,,
Your friend's joke just saved your life,
Audrey: You should be more careful,
People can be unpredictable,
Well, at least you got your manuscript back,
While we wait,,,
Why not tell us the story? Mm, yes!
You said it was about someone
who thinks they can get away with murder,
Sounds very exciting, It's not,
But your books are always so clever,
This one isn't,
Surprising?
She laughs
well, why bother writing it, then?
The Americans stopped paying royalties
and the revenue think I'm a thief,
I need the money,
Malcolm: Huh, - Oh,
I did a children's party once,
A seven-year-old rode me like a donkey
into the swimming pool, Oh, darling,
Segrave's fault, Bastard,
You must care a little bit,
You could have written about something else,
A book about the war,
That would sell like hot cakes,
And remind everyone about our present horrors?
Audrey: How about a spy story?
I finished one of those last year,
Hasn't been published,
They're worried it won't sell, Why not test it on us?
I don't test my novels,
A spy story makes sense,
You must meet all sorts of interesting people,
You must know all sorts of secrets,
The only secret I know
is how to sell a million books and not have any money,
Air-raid siren wails
it's no closer, but just as bad,
Almost makes me want to tell the conscription board
my real age,
I'm going to check on the prisoner,
Would anyone like to play yet more cards?
Yes, please, - Yes,
Why not?
Malcolm: How about a game of shark?
Grace: Oh, - Audrey: I don't know that,
He sighs
couldn't we just make a dash for it?
Even if we escape the mad PC
it's like an irishman's wedding up there,
Grace: Are you going to deal, darling?
Thank you,
For what?
I'm told you just saved my life,
Yeah,
Gotta protect my investment,
At this rate, you won't get much of a return,
You ever failed to get what you want?
I'm quite persistent,
Which is why I'm confident,
You'll get your twenty grand, I'll get my commission,
We met for a few days 14 years ago,
I don't know anything about you,
Yeah, my story's different,
It's a potboiler,
Do what I have to to survive,
I've written a few potboilers,
Do you know what defines them?
They always make money,
They never let you down,
Yeah, don't speak too soon,
He laughs don't worry,
It's the Italian,
The only people he can kill are already dead,
It isn't Eli,
It must be, he had the manuscript,
When was the last time you met someone
who could write better english than they spoke?
Oh,
Please don't lose it again,
What, what are you doing?
The man who wrote this is tied up in there
sleeping it off,
Thanks for the evidence,
Does it occur to you that perfect spelling and grammar
might not be his strong point?
Man: She's smarter than us, - Suppose that might be true,
About the grammar, - Ifitis,,,
Eli didn't steal the manuscript
and the murderer is free to kill again,
Unless our Italian is faking it,
He's probably from stepney,
People aren't always what they seem, mrs christie,
Eli obviously isn't as illiterate as he makes out,
You said sleeping, - You what?
You said Eli was sleeping it off,
Eli?
Man groans
She gasps oh, my,,,
When you said you were going to check on the prisoner
did you mean the kind of check
that might spot he looked like king Harold?
No, I had no idea, I didn't know,
His head's been used as a pincushion,
We should tell the others, Do you think I did this?
No,
No, I didn't touch that knife, I promise,
Someone, someone's taken it from me pocket,
No,,,
It wasn't me, I swear,
What we gonna do?
You are going to go back out there
and tell everyone what's happened,
O'hanauer: No, I can't, that's,,,
No, it's too much,
Once everybody's aware of the situation
we'll wait for the all-clear to sound,
At that point, you will go and get help,
Why don't you just give the killer what he wants?
They're just words,
They're my words,
I won't give them up to a murderer,
Go check for clues or something,
Piss off over there!
As much as I hate to admit it, she might be right,
We could hand it over and go home,
I can't give him up for nothing, Poirot?
Perhaps you're more attached to him than you admit,
I'm not! I just have to get paid,
He owes me, - He's not real,
Is there anyone in your life
who's been around 20 years and not fucked you over?
Come back,
Time to start pretending you're in charge,
Don't think you'll find it too hard,
You need to come with us,
Why? - I want everyone together,
I wish to be on my own,
I will not leave ms yuhuan,
You'll want to hear this, Grace: Rummy,
Nell: Oh, blast,
Audrey: You've got four kings,
Where did you get these cards?
That Italian bugger, It's a miracle I won anything,
PC o'hanauer: Can I have everyone's attention?
Are we finally being allowed to leave?
There's a situation in the other room,
Please don't tell me you've allowed him to escape,
He's dead, Stabbed in the eye with his own knife,
They're demanding mrs christie hand over the manuscript
or more people die,
Malcolm: I was looking forward to this mystery playing out
but given the change of circumstances,,,
We're leaving,
We've been through this before,
Don't make me lock you up as well,
I've killed five people,
Three of them on purpose,
My current duties
allow me to shoot first and ask questions never,
Would you mind if I came with you?
More the merrier,
I will come also, - Us too,
As the French might say as they laid down their arms
"e ait acc om pli,"
You some sort of war hero?
I've had my moments,
You're not a man that scares easy,
Some people are born without sexual organs
I was born without fear,
So you wouldn't think twice about hunting down the person
that's caused us all this trouble?
You can't hunt a ghost,
That's just what I was thinking,
Anyone here believe in ghosts?
I once saw the head of a Japanese woman
floating towards me,
I was on the loo in,,, If you have a point
just make it, - Well,,,
Two people have been murdered,
No one's seen anything,
So it must be a ghost,
There's someone else here, Malcolm: Of course,
All this time, That does explain everything,
Maybe, It's all rather frightening,
What are we going to do? Well, we've got two guns
and a couple of killers,
Seems to me we should find the bastard
and return the lady's money,
We'll search room by room, I won't leave ms yuhuan,
Jun: I will come with you, - It is too dangerous,
They need your help, Man: I'll look after her,
Given I'm the brains in this operation
I should stay behind the front lines,
Besides, someone needs to be here
in case our uninvited guest makes a run for it,
I'm sure you know how to use this,
If you don't go, I will,
We'll start over there, - Ok,
Man: Why don't you accompany your gun?
I'm staying here, - Scared?
Don't trust you,
Don't worry, I'll keep you safe,
I'm coming, - Audrey: Me too,
Stop, We need something to protect ourselves,
That's for you, and for you,
And,,, yes,
Mrs christie,
I think this one's yours,
Oh, She laughs
thank you, my dear, but I'd likely hurt myself,
Very well,
Ok,
No one make a sound,
Gate unlocks
And now we have the psychological advantage,
Give me your gun,
You have only fired six shots,
I always save the last round for myself,
Come on, man, hurry up, Give it to me,
Try not to die like a dog!
We could always set fire to the furniture and smoke him out,
Or maybe he isn't here,
He must be on the other side,
Probably wondering if there's anyone left to blackmail,
Rocco: We should go, - Agatha: Yes,
Yes, the others might well be worried about us,
She screams
She gasps
o'hanauer: I don't know what happened,
Oh, god,
He's alive, - She's dead,
God,
What you doing?
Trying to help you,
Give me the gun, Who are you going to shoot?
You, if you do not give me the gun,
Revenge is a dish best served by professionals,
Give me the gun or I'll snap your neck!
Don't you think it's time you intervened?
All I care about is that no one else gets hurt,
I know you're investigating me,
I'll do anything you want, just help us!
What are you suggesting?
Someone has to stop this madness,
And then I can do what the killer wants
deliver the deed and the manuscript,
About bloody time, I nearly died for twenty grand,
Who in god's name are you?
Someone who knows the palace relies on you
for their evacuation plans
and would take a dim view of your extracurricular activities,
We're being bombed, not invaded,
Let's hope king George feels like that
and that the Germans haven't landed at ramsgate,
Bertie's probably loaded for bears
and listening to jelly roll Morton,
Why should I take any notice of you?
Nell: Because if you don't
you'll spend the rest of the war
making furniture in an internment camp,
He groans
are you alright?
Have I died and gone to heaven?
She laughs no,
St Peter has standards,
He groans
no, don't move, - No, I have to,
I challenged her to a game of snap and then,,,
My world went dark,
I'm ss 0 Rey, I
I don't remember anything,
It doesn't matter, It is my fault,
You didn't kill anyone,
He's going to get away with it,
He bloody well isn't, We'll make sure of that,
Before I deliver the manuscript
will you check it's safe up there?
I don't want to complicate things by getting blown up,
Scared? - Agatha: Yes,
But also keen not to make any further mistakes,
Ok,
But I want me gun back,
Did you tell PC o'hanauer
how much Frankie was paying for our manuscript?
Of course I didn't,
I don't think jun would have said anything, or Rocco,
You don't think,,, - She sighs
well, I don't know,
Well, she doesn't come across as a master criminal,
What are we gonna do?
Tell the tax inspectors, Tax inspectors, my arse,
Well, whoever does the revenue's dirty work,
Either way, they're the closest thing we have to authority,
Unless they're the ones trying to blackmail you,
I trust them,
And what were you saying about your trust issues?
Well, we have to trust someone, Yes,
Each other,
It's time for you to do what you suggested,
Give up the manuscript and the deed,
Once we're out of here
someone else can catch the killer and get it back,
O'hanauer: All quiet on the western front,
Audrey: Ils the air raid over?
No idea, Didn't you hear anything?
I didn't hear the all-clear,
We certainly can't trust her, I know,
I've got a plan,
He grunts I'm coming with you,
He groans
or not, O'hanauer: Don't worry,
I'll make sure she delivers the goods,
I'l come too,
Fine, - Good,
Because it's not your decision,
And in god's name, find out if we can leave,
Please,
On you go,
It must be over,
Is something wrong?
What you doing?
Checking nothing's on fire, Well, don't,
Why not? - Because I said so,
What part of our previous conversation
do you not understand?
Stop that,
Stop that!
Stop what?
Qi! Come back,
Where's the deed?
It's here, - Sign it,
I intend to, - Gun cocks
sign it now,
Get behind the bar,
What you waiting for?
You haven't thought this through,
What's there to think about?
Sign it, or I'll shoot ya,
That's the problem,
If you shoot me, I can't sign it,
I'll shoot her,
Which is also not a great idea,
If you shoot her, we don't have a witness,
For what?
My signature has to be witnessed,
You tricked me,
How so?
With correct legal process?
She laughs
I've killed people,
I know,
I'll kill you, So you keep saying, But,,,
It wouldn't make any sense,
She laughs
You're right,
I'm not supposed to shoot ya,
But I don't care,
Thought I'd missed,
She sighs you alright?
Are we safe? - Nell: Yes,
Oh,
Did you,,,
Is she,,,
I told you it was her,
The air raid? - It's over,
So we can leave,
As much as I hate to admit it, it's probably for the best,
Then you owe me fifty quid and a gun,
You got change of a thousand?
I'm assuming you're good for it,
He gave me two to one on dying,
You bet against yourself?
It was the best way of making sure it didn't happen,
You can send it to my barracks,
Those two know the address,
No one's going to believe me,
That's because you're not going to tell them,
Malcolm: Come on, darling, Ad usum delfini/,
Wonderful meeting you all,
Huge fan,
Toodle-00,
God, he is such a wanker,
I quite like him,
So what now?
I ask you a question,
In private,
How much trouble am I in?
That depends,
Tell me what you know about bletchley park,
Bletchley?
The reason your spy novel hasn't been published
is because we have it,
You do?
We're trying to ascertain if its author
has intimate knowledge of a classified project,
I, I thought you were glorified tax inspectors,
We're government employees
concerned with safekeeping
matters essential to the war effort,
You're spies?
We're representatives of the security services,
And you think that,,, she laughs
I'm in possession of state secrets?
Are you?
She laughs no, No, good lord!
No, I have,,,
I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about,
If you cooperate,,,
I can make all this go away,
Can you take away my debts
placate the IRS and the inland revenue
then force the Americans to start paying my royalties again?
All I'm trying to do is earn a living,
Whatever you think I've done,,,
I haven't,
Everything that I've ever written
is just a figment of my imagination,
She laughs you've quite an imagination,
Yes, it's a curse,
I can see,
You've left us with quite a mess to clean up,
Oh, well,,,
Can I do anything to help?
Go home, keep quiet
and if you ever get the call, remember,,,
You owe us,
Aren't you forgetting something?
Hmm?
The £20,000 in your pocket?
Caught red-handed,
Can I?
Be my guest,
Wiping Gore off another man's face
doesn't break any wedding vows, you know,
Thank you,
You saved my life,
Again,
I'm going to do something in return,
If I'm not mistaken, Rocco's still downstairs,
Yeah, um,,,
I think he's taken it badly,
See if you can persuade him up here,
We need a withess,
For the deed,
Once you've sold the manuscript, you can give me a commission,
Um,,,
I don't know what to say,
"Thank you"?
Thank you, - She laughs
go on, Just hurry up,
Our two spies won't be happy
if we're still here when the police arrive,
And take that off,
Rocco won't want to be reminded,
Rocco?
What are you doing?
Looking for you,
What are you doing?
I am giving jun and Frankie some dignity in death,
Oh,
Did you shoot someone?
It was that PC all along,
She killed jun and Frankie?
Yeah,
She's dead?
Body's upstairs,
But, look, we need to leave before the real police arrive,
I'm staying here,
That's a terrible idea,
God knows what you'll be blamed for,
I don't care,
It's how it should be,
What about the money? What money?
Well, your money,
Frankie's money,
What about it? I've got no claim to it,
Well, someone needs to see it goes to the right person,
Maybe jun has a daughter,
I hadn't thought about that,
Sign on the line, Address and name underneath,
Thank you,
I'm going to get a few things from upstairs,
I'll be back in a few minutes,
You're not having my bag,
Just like that,
Not quite,
You were right,
I've changed my mind,
Hold that thought, What are you doing?
Well, if you're gonna start drinking
it'd be a crime to open your account with that,
Here, See if you can find some soda water,
Will this do?
Hmm, She laughs
it won't kill ya! - It might,
She laughs - we all end up dead,
Just a question of how and why,
And whether we are drunk at the time,
Both: Cheers,
Oh,,,
Second thoughts, I,,,
I can't break the habit of a lifetime
no, go on, Come on,
Sorry,
I can't change your mind?
You know how stubborn I am,
Ain't that the truth,
I understand the money and the manuscript, but,,,
Why do you want to kill me?
Did I do something, all those years ago?
Too clever for your own good, Is that the point?
You want to punish me?
You think too much,
What's more valuable than the last ever poirot novel?
Your last ever book,
Was it the fingerprint?
I decided last minute to write you that message,
Before you gave the envelope to PC o'hanauer,
He sighs
she really is a copper, you know,
I wondered,
Nicked me for looting, but,,,
Easily corruptible,
Well, she must have trusted you, Mm,
She loved me,
People are stupid,
Up to a point,
He grunts
once I'd acknowledged the awful possibility
that you'd planned the whole thing
the truth was quick to unravel,
Even then, I wanted you to come up those stairs,,,
What have you,,, And prove me wrong,
Two pockets, two flasks,
I just swapped them, - He grunts
after you poisoned Frankie
you made a show of offering us a drink,
Like the writing in the blood, you wanted to be clever,
You overthought it, - He coughs
your insecurities undid you, He coughs
like all of us, - He coughs
He chokes
Air-raid siren wails
he grunts and chokes
I'm sorry,
I don't believe you,
She cries
I'm sorry,
I don't know what I was thinking,
How could I kill the only thing in life
I can truly rely upon?