Matty Muscles! How ya doin' there?
Ooh, you're looking more jacked than usual, buddy,
Been cuttin' carbs?
If I wasn't so into pussy I'd probably let you
but not so much,,, yeah,
But I'd need a bigger cut, ya know,
from the door and whatnot,
You get a good look out there tonight?
There's gotta be seventy five hundred people out there,
I don't know if you think in these terms but
that could be 750 to 1,000 people in a few months,
I mean, dare to dream, baby,
We're talking 75 grand to maybe 100,000
at the big show,
Know what I'm talking about?
You ready for these yokels? They're ready for you,
There's my guy, there's my guy!
Woo! Let's go! Let's make some money!
Making his way to the ring, the final entrant in
this triple threat match against Supercop Dick Justice,
No justice no peace!
And the handicapped hero, Gregory Iron,
Booo!!!
He is Matt Cross!
Matt Cross is in charge!
We're doing it in the streets, we do it at home!
The rest is bullshit and you know it!
You suck, You suck!
You're just a jobber, man, you're never going to make it!
Ohhhhh!!!
Boo!
Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!
You worked those mouthbreathers over tonight, my friend,
That was something else, Shit,
We gotta get you a catchphrase, man, you don't got one,
Uh, cause, you know we'll move some more t-shirts
and some hoodies and like, even like,
the foam fingers for the kids and shit,
they like that, right?
Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, okay, You're enthused, right?
Listen, I talked to a friend of a friend,
works for the bigger fed, if you know what I mean,
They're interested, alright?
String together a couple more of those
performances like you did up there,
and you won't be riding these marks' dicks for the
rest of your life in these bingo halls and high school gyms,
Alright? We'll get you to Reseda,
get you to Austin,,, Crossy, you here?
I'm here,
Okay, Get you back to AIW in Cleveland, I suppose,
Not even too early to start thinking about Vegas,
Japan, whatever,
I gotta take this,
Um, soon, Kale smoothies, On me,
Keep up with the crossfit, you look great,
You know, the beard? I love it, alright,
Yeah, yeah, no no hey no, I said you, you'd you said
you'd call, Alright, alright, Hey, whattya want?
Hey,
Sup, lil boy?
Why don't you give Papa Bear some sugar?
Aw, yeah, What's up, man? How you feeling?
Greg Iron and Dick Justice,
10 years later and we're still doing this,
Reunited and it feels so good,
True,
Hey, take a seat,
Thank you, baby,
Man, y'alls were like two sticks rubbin' together out there,
You, Was, On, Fire,
I mean,,,
Felt good,
Look, earlier in the night, that was a hard crowd to pop,
a little small, but you came out, changed the game, man,
You're over, dude, They love you,
Yeah, must be difficult being you,
Look man, I'm an inspiration, I have cerebral palsy, alright?
So you don't talk to me that way,
I'm sorry, Greg,
You know I was just kidding, man, but,
you keep putting on performances like that,
y'all must have the network comin' in here just
sniffin' around, chompin' at the bit!
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think about it,
But I don't know, does Matt Cross go corporate?
I mean, I just did 33 days in Europe, 7 new countries,
traveling around, I mean, I love that freedom, right?
The open road, That's me, That's Matt Cross,
I just don't know if that's my life,
Yeah, that's wonderful man, But do you know what else is?
Cash money,
Real good, Look, do you, do you owe Solomon something?
I mean, like, you said it yourself,
you were just in Europe for a month and now you're back here
I mean, like,,,
Yeah, I'm back here getting paid, man,
I got a wife, I got a kid, you guys don't have that stuff,
you don't understand, I mean-
But, but hey, I could put in a word with Solomon if you want,
Just say the word and,,,
Uh, Solomon? Handling my money?
I'm sure that'll go over real well with my landlord,
Actually, wait 'til I tell the girlfriend,
I'm sure she'll love that, right?
'Member the last time you had money problems,
she done made you sleep out on the lawn,
Oh, yeah, That's,,, not a good day,
You're allergic to pollen, too,
Why don't we go out on the town? We got paid, We got our monies,
Let's go get a couple of brewskis,
Let's go get our running' shoes on, Let's go chase some skirts,
How you feel? Come on!
Dick, I didn't drink then, I don't drink now,
Things are different, man, All that staying' out all night,
I mean, you know me, I loved it, Right?
But those times are ancient history man, it's gone,
Man, nobody was able to do a headstand longer than you,
True,
It was insane, What'sa matter now?
You're ol' wifeski got you on that short leash now
you can't come hang out with your friends?
Amy barely drinks, I mean, we've got Cash,
she's worried it's gonna be a bad influence on the kid,
Oh, hey, speaking of that, that's another thing,
I still cannot believe she let you name the kid Cash,
Whaaa? Is his middle name money?
Cash money records for the 99 in the 2000,
Wobbly wobbly,,,
Wuh-wuh-wuh wobbly wobbly
But hey man, if you need a permission slip,
I can get you one so you can come hang out with your friends,
I don't need a permission slip,
You guys take nothing seriously, man,
You ain't kidding, You know what I do take seriously, though,
if Amy needs herself a real man, you know,
I been hitting' them weights real tough,
Crossfit,
Mmhm, I'll be crossfitting my way into your situation,
It's a play on your name and it's a play on fitting' into
your situation, baby,
Oh, who dat?
Who dat be?
Speak of the devil,
Awwwww,,, her ears must have been ring-a-linging,
she knows Dicky Baby's calling!
Hey, hey, tell her I say "hello"
Yeah,,,
Tell her "what's up, what's up?"
One hundred percent not going to do that,
Hey, baby,
Later dude,
See ya, Matt, Greg, you know what time it is?
What time is it?
Mozzarella stick thirty, let's Go!
Oh ho no,,, I don't know about that,
Appetizers!
Hell of a match tonight,
Thank you, my friend,
Have I ever not delivered? Do I ever not deliver? I mean,
Matt delivered but I delivered you Matt so
that kind of makes me the Post Office, right?
Hey, you got anything smaller than this?
I feel like one of those thug rappers here
Solomon,
Alright, okay, sorry, This is fine, this'll work,
That looks about right,,,
Wait, wait wait, you shady bitch, A grand?
That's all you're gonna give him? A grand,
Look, man, you pay me to watch Matt so you
don't gotta worry about him, alright?
When he's out of this whole Podunk shithole world and
broken out into your scene?
He can worry about his own money,
You don't wanna know what happens
when I don't get what I want,
Like I said, man, have I ever not delivered?
Okay, You have my word,
And my money,
I'm sure you were, Work was alright,
just endless insurance forms and the assholes who can't
figure out how to fill them out right,
We did discharge that one kid though, so that's good,
How'd your match go?
Another step closer to the dream,
Anyway, what's up?
Hopefully your credit score,
Real cute, Look, Amy, I'm doing what I can,
I know you are, Matt,
But it's almost the first of the month and
I'm so tired of struggling,
Idiot face, what are you doing?
Your mom,
Don't let your mom hear you say that or she'll kill me,
Speaking of which, she's gonna be home soon,
But I'm catching lighting bugs, I'm gonna scrape their butt on
my arm so I glow,
All I got so far are these dumb crickets,
That is messed up kid,
Why? They're just bugs,
Yeah, they got bug jobs, bug families, bug dreams,
My dream is to fight like my dad,
But not like me?
I've only watched you fight on the internet,
Come on, it's always better in person,
No? Cash, okay, Let's go, Whattya got?
Come on, show me what you got, Let's see what you got,
Tough guy, Let's see what you got, Come on, put 'em up,
You're not quick enough, Not quick enough, Not quick enough,
Oh, what did I tell you? Not quick enough,
Oh, you escaped? Okay, whattya got?
Let's see, Whattya got?
Oh, Cash with the cross body but it doesn't work!
You got one more shot, whattya gonna do?
No, beat it nerd, no chance, If you wanna throw a superkick
you gotta do it like this, uhhhhh!
Oh, you're not gonna fake me out!
I know this trick!
Are,,, are you okay?
Lessons learned, One,,, stretch,
Two,,, when you have a shredded meniscus,
don't try to teach a kid a superkick,
You worry too much just like your mom,
Get in the house and wash those bug farts off your hand,
I see you in there little guys,
Just hopping from thing to thing,
I respect the hustle, but I jump on my own terms,
I'm selling as much merch as I can
Matt Cross! Holy shit, dude,
I'm thinking about picking up more shifts,
Oh my god, dude, I'm a huge,
obviously I'm a huge fan, this is crazy, dude!
I see you're on the phone, dude, Yep, Sorry,
I brought more shirts to sell than I did to wear,
That was amazing tonight,
you're on another level right now,
My mother called, She wants to come visit,
She can help,
Your mom only wants to come by to tell us
everything we do is wrong,
Dude, I'll give you money for it too if you need, man,
Love you,
I bust my ass so you don't have
to work at some needle exchange somewhere,
You and me against the world, remember?
Then come home, Matt, We miss you,
Hey, hey, do you got any more shirts in that bag, dude?
Cause I got twenty bucks with your name on it,
It's not gonna happen,
Hey man, can we snap a selfie real quick?
Work construction? Go be a bouncer at some
shitty club on the east side?
So what happens? Keep crossing state lines
to every one-horse town until Solomon tells you to stop?
I buckled down, It's time for you to do the same thing,
Been there, Done that, I'm not doing it again,
Hey man, hey, let's get one more,
Hey, look dude, Back off, alright?
Yeah, dude, yeah, Hey, nononono,
It's just a lot,
No man, I got time, Do your thing, dude,
Go to Florida, Show them what you've got,
Solomon can't compete with TV money,
I'm at work right now, Can we take this another time,
Hey, hey Matt! I gots I gots something for ya, I just,,, yeah,
no, that's cool, No, yeah, too much, Yep, I got time, dude,
I'll wait on ya,
Two more days and I'll be home, okay?
Look, give our gremlin a kiss, I love you,
I love you too, I miss you,
Oh jesus,,, this,,, yo man, what size shirt did you need,,,
Damn it,
Homework's done and he's got a belly full of
those dinosaur chicken things,
You fed him that crap?
One, they're delicious,
Number two, he cooked them for us, and you ran late,
Thank you, Kelsi,
I don't know what the hell a Lego deathmatch is exactly,
but it sounds expensive, Twenty five hundred,
Fuck you, seventeen fifty and you book two of my guys,
Solomon,
One of them's a little fella,
Solomon, wait up,
No, not, you don't say midget anymore,
Hey!
Gotta go, I gotta go, I'm not in the mood, Matt,
What, do you want money again?
My wife's breathing down my neck,
You gotta see where I'm coming from,
Look, I love you, I love your kid,
And I get it, someone's gotta bring home the bacon,
But you my friend are asking for the whole hog,
It's not about me,
It's always about you! Because I'm in the you business, Okay?
You think you're the only one here with mouths to feed?
I've got a roster full of talent that's as hungry as you are
for a shot at the bigs,
Then quit pushing me to the back of this line,
How many of these little fuckin' towns do I gotta keep
driving to week after week?
As many as I tell you, Crossy,
Yeah, I'm sick of it, man,
You want me to take two thousand dollars worth of
merchandise, put in my eight hundred dollar car and
drive 6 hours for three hundred bucks, you're crazy,
You're living the American Dream,
You are the American Dream!
American dream? Right, Why don't you tell that to Amy,
She walked away from this business, Matt,
I have friends with more important friends
that are interested in seeing "The Matt Cross Experience",
which means you have to deliver,
I always deliver "The Matt Cross Experience,"
I've been doing this for years, You were there,
You heard those people, They were going nuts,
I had them in the palm of my hand, I do everything solid,
I do everything for you,
Hell, I even tagged with that kid with halitosis,
He didn't know the difference between
a drop toe hold and a dropkick,
He wasn't that bad,
He was a garbage wrestler with shit breath,
Alright, listen, Don't go spending this all
on one protein shake, You got this match coming up,
alright, you need to get your beauty rest, alright,
Don't worry about it,
You got me wrong man, I'm not looking for a hand out,
I'm looking for what I earned,
Look, what do you even do for me, man?
You gotta start thinking big, If you can't get me someplace
they can even spell "jumbotron,"
I don't know what you're doing with me,
When your old lady walked away from the business,
she dragged you down with her, okay?
She walked away from a contract,
that means someone foots the bill, alright?
Do you think it's been easy rebuilding "Matt Cross" from
that whole shitstorm?
Your penny' not as pretty as it used to be, my friend,,, hey!
Come on, Matt,
Don't talk about my wife, Amy did what she had to do,
What have you done?
Alright, I was a little bit out of line,
Let's just iron this out here, Matt! Come on, let's talk,
Crossy! Don't be such a fucking drama queen,
What?! Oh, Hi, Hey, No, I didn't know, Sorry,
Yes, you will receive sixty percent of every action figure,
every t shirt, every lunch box,
every cock ring, but here's some simple math for you,,,
sixty percent of zero is still fucking zero if you're
not gonna help me out,
Naw, I got a big dog here and
he needs a leash put on him, so work with me for a minute,
Here's the deal,
His old lady fucked up my brand, alright? I'm spending all my
time and resources picking up the pieces here, He will do
whatever I tell him to do as long as the check clears,
No, I'm telling you, he'll play fuckin' Snow White
and the Seven Black Cocks if I tell him to,
I'm rebuilding a brand here, Do you know what brands do?
They make money, Do you like making money?
That's what I'm trying to do here,
Get everybody fucking paid,
Keys,,, keys,,, come on,
When I was a kid, I had heroes, MenI looked up to and aspired
to become, Real role models, I watched them fly through the
air every chance I got, They were pro wrestlers,
The older I got, the more my heroes got unmasked,
You find out there's no Easter Bunny, Santa never gave
you presents,
And worse of all they say that wrestling was fake,
There we go, Matt Cross, fuck yes, that's what we paid for,
I hate this fucking ref, He's garbage, Jesus Christ,
But that's just a world of bullshit they want you
to live in with them, See, Wrestling isn't fake,
it's like destiny, it's simply predetermined,
You can't change your destiny, but you can help shape the
destiny of those around you, Those you care about,
Paul,
Paul,,,
The world needs more heroes,
People willing to sacrifice for the greater good,
To push others further than they can push themselves,
Do your job!
People like me! You probably don't believe that,
just like wrestling, it's something most people
just don't understand,
Ugh, come on, At least make me believe
you believe what you're doing is real,
They can't understand, They're afraid to,
Yes! Beautiful, Fuckin' beautiful,
These men used to be defined by their character, their integrity,
what they could make for themselves
with their own bare hands,
Oh for god's sake, Come on! Ughhhh,
Wrestlers give all they got and what are they left with?
The very same fans that cheered from the beginning,
It's all about helping people,
Lose? He can't lose,
He's not supposed to be the one that loses,
Paul! God damn it! I need my medication,
In the end, wrestling's a lot like love,
Just because you don't believe in it,
doesn't mean it's not real to me,
So, the foggy headed feeling that's caused by
the Thorazine, Typically it's used to treat folks with
severe mental health issues,
Even excessive nausea and vomiting and even people who
have had chronic hiccups, In prison they like to stash
a little bit of it away for the new prisoners,
You know, give 'em a little roofie coladas,
It doesn't necessarily black 'em out,
but it would put a wobble in your step,
It is better to live through chemistry that is not,
my friend,,,
Oh, no, no no, no! See? No, I'm not like that,
I'm not like that! I would never do that, I'm here to help,
Oh man, You know what? I'm sorry,
You've probably got a million questions,
Uh, so, the thorazine, that's from my mom,
I take care of her, She's on total disability,
Most of the time she's completely out of it,
kind of like a zombie,
As for me, I'm a fan, Your fan,
As a matter of fact, I would say that I'm probably
your biggest fan,
I don't wanna go to bed, yet,
Something on your mind?
Mom, why don't you wrestle anymore?
It's complicated, honey,
Dad still wrestles,
Your dad is the greatest wrestler I've ever seen,
Really?
Really,
When your dad was first starting out,
they couldn't figure out if he should be a heel or a face,
You know what that means, right?
Well, duh,
He was pretty enough to be a face,
but tough enough to be a heel,
Dad's not tall enough to be a heel,
Yeah, that's true, You're smarter than most people,
I was working for Solomon, and your dad wanted to as well,
Your dad was just different, acrobatic,
He liked that lucha style,
Tell me about you and dad,
Your dad and I knew each other through friends,
but we never really talked,
Until he subbed for my tag partner,
We ended up doing a mixed tag, and we kicked ass,
Oh yeah,
Yeah! Because what can a woman do?
Anything she fucking wants!
Language,
Kelsi lets me say it!
Of course she does,,,
So then what?
They loved us,
Solomon had me on singles
but your dad always ended up being on the same shows,
which I didn't mind 'cause he was really cute,
Still is,
Ew, mom!
Don't "ew, mom" me!
You're gonna look just like him someday,
What happened next?
What gives you a boner?
About ninety four five percent of the women,,,
What about the dudes?
Which kind?
Like five percent of them, maybe?
I don't know I watch the wrestling match sometimes
and get a little fuckin' perturbed,
Hey, hey, hey! Hey baby, why don't you come sit on my
face and lemme guess your weight,
Ew,
Get back over here, I'm trying to talk to you,
Fuck's wrong with you? Why don't you go blow each other?
We already did,
Well, good for you,
I need to know something though,
do you suck dick better than you wrestle?
What, do you need dick sucking lessons?
Woo-hoo! Come on Bill, hit her!
What the fuck! We gonna fuck late-god damn it,
Fuck you,
Oh, fuck me? Jean-Claude Van Bitch,,, ugh,,,
red ass motherfucking bitch!,,,ugh,,, ohh,,,,alright,
Your dad let me fight my own fights,
That's the moment I knew we'd be partners forever,
Sometimes the best way to build somebody up,
is to let them climb on their own,
Now go to bed,
I,,uh,,, I never really get to travel,
It's not that I don't want to, I'm just always working to
pay off some bill,
The furthest out west I've ever been was Arizona,
My brother got a job in Scottsdale and in exchange
for helping him move I got a free trip out of it,
It's everything they ever say it is out there,
It's hot, but like really hot, it's a dry heat,
You know when you open an oven door and
it takes your breath away?
The thing that blew my mind though were these people with
bright green, plush, grass lawns,
You're basically in the desert, and yet here they were spending
thousands of dollars on sprinklers and fertilizer and
having these yards that are better than any
golf course you've ever seen,
Sure, people have cactus and rocks and all of that, but man,
those yards,
They're a status symbol, It was really something,
Sometimes the things we take for granted
are only ever really appreciated if they're forced to grow,
Let me go! People are gonna be looking for me,
Wrong! You're wrong!
I'm the only one that cares,
You'll see that soon enough, I got time, We've got time,
Together! We've got all the time in the world,
What you do, the feelings I have for that,
I could set fire with those feelings,
And now? I don't have to burn alone anymore,
You rest up, We've got a big day tomorrow,
Hey, where are you going? Help!
Help! Somebody! Help!
Yeah, Wait, wait, wait waywaywait,
No, I just talked to him last night,
he said he was driving straight through, I don't know,
I don't know, Did I just not say I don't know? Look, of course,
don't tell me there's a bunch of retards sitting around
with their dicks in their hands, Of course I told him!
Okay, okay, okay, Wait, The fuck does that mean-
Hello? Can you hear me?
Fuck,,, fuck,,,
FUCK!
Hey! Hey! Let me go! You can't keep me chained up
here like I'm some kind of animal or something,
Oh, Matt, Mattmattmattmatt,
You need to eat up, you'll need the energy!
You're in training!
Training? I'm chained to a fucking wall,
There is no training!
Huh?
Give me that,
Eh?
Roll it over here, dickhead,
Aw, you're no fun,
So,,, did you always know you wanted to be a wrestler?
I was thinking about that, See, my old man,,,,
he always wanted me to be a tough guy,
Obviously, didn't work out, But I wanted to be a doctor,
I wanted to help people,
I dunno, maybe even a veterinarian,
I liked puppies and stuff,
Everybody likes puppies and stuff, you fucking psycho,
Let me go!
Matt, You're missing the point,
I wanted to make a difference,
Only I never got the opportunity,
At least not until now, With you,
The fuck you doing, man?
I'm here to help,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, NO!
Don't do that!
You got a long way to go,
Jesus,
Where is he?
Matt? He's on the road,
Didja hear from him?
No,
Did you call him?
No, we have a shitty nights and weekends plan,
What's going on?
You're in deep shit, okay? Both of you,
He had a title match he missed,
He was supposed to be handed a squeaky clean new belt,
Did you call the cops?
Call the cops? And tell them what?
What are they gonna say?
Big bad wrestling guy playing hooky on a wrestling match,
He missed a match, Amy, You don't do that,
You never do that,
I know that, Solomon,
Oh, yeah, you know that, do you?
Last I checked,
you were a pretty big fan of no shows yourself,
Okay, listen,
I can cover this time, but if he's in the wind,
he misses the next match, it's coming out of his ass,
Kay? Alright, listen,
Anybody calls you, anybody emails you,
asks where he is, you say he's sick, ya know,
it happens, That's what you'll tell people,
And also, I have something I was trying to get to him,
I know, before you freak out,
a little something I know he'd want you to have,
Thanks, Solomon,
Don't thank me yet, There's a contract on the line here,
He may or may not have told you, one worth some money,
one that's probably already been advanced, perhaps,,,
how do you think he's been paying for all of this?
The mortgage, the car, and the cell phones,
night and weekend plans, huh?
I do this, all the time for him,
Alright?
I work for people,
They paid for a fight with a Cross,
and they're gonna get one,
No, that's not happening, I'm retired, You know that,
Oh, yeah, You and the assisted living community,
I get it, You're retired,
But do you know what the best thing about retirement is?
It can end, And then you get back in the ring,
Top rope! Main eventing and
Right here, maybe you and your man, hand in hand, right,
just in the ring together, Paychecks tripling instantly,
the tweet mentions flying off the handle,
the internet comments sections never cool down, okay?
And no offense, you could probably buy yourself
something nicer, a little bigger than this,
Think about your kid,
I always think about my kid, That's why I quit,
To be here for him, And Matt,
If you think your man's gonna walk away with this or this
is some bullshit ploy for him to get out,
he ain't waltzing out like you did,
Okay?
He's suiting up, he's getting in the ring, or you are,
You here to fuck up or fuck off?
Oh, ha ha ha! I'd say fucking up was always your specialty,
Oh yeah? Fuck off? Good choice,
Jesus Christ, Kelsi,
I didn't know you had company,
I wasn't expecting him, I definitely wasn't expecting you,
Your kid left this in my car,
Figured he'd have homework or some shit,
Wait, Cash isn't with you?
Been one of those days, huh?
You look like you need this more than I do,
Relax,
you have the night to yourself, I took Cash to the Y lock-in,
Come on, I paid for it,
That kid needs to hang out with someone else beside me,
and you need a night to yourself,
Give me that,
You could have told me,
Your kid needs to learn to socialize outside of that
shitty public school you send him to,
I went to that school,
And?
And so did you?
Give me,
Mmmm ummm,
Sharing is caring, they didn't teach you that?
Nope! What I want to know is why are you always such
a giant pain in my ass all the time,
I'm not a giant pain in the ass all the time,
All the time,
All the time?
All, The, Time,
Look, I'm worried, okay?
I'm worried about you, I'm worried about Cash,
Hell, I'm even worried about Matt, And I don't wanna worry,
Me worrying is a hazard to everyone's health,
Just ask your husband,
Say what now?
You've been retired for how long now?
And for what, to be a mom?
Don't get your thong in a twist,
you have a great kid, but I would give anything
to get back in the ring,
I can't, and you can, and it fucking kills me,
You sound just like Solomon,
You wanna feed me some bullshit about how being a mom
is the best job you could ever have?
Don't you dare go being ashamed of who you are,
or where you're at,
It's about where you're going, Amy,
You need to recognize what's in front of you,
It's not about potential anymore, it's hope,
Hope? Yeah,
You need to wake the fuck up,
You are living in a dream world,
Maybe Matt's gonna make it big, maybe he's not,
But how are you gonna celebrate in any victory
if you're not out there fighting too?
I'm not trying to stir the shit,
'Cause god forbid anybody make you lick the spoon,
You're my best friend, Amy, How long did we tag for?
You've always had my back and I always had yours,
And I still do,
But if you look at Cash and don't want better for him,
then you're an even shittier parent than I could ever
call you out for being,
Matt does everything that he can,
Just look at everything that he has sacrificed,
And what about your sacrifices, Amy?
How much longer until you're both drowning in mortgage and
medical bills that you can't afford?
Look at me, I'm back in the 'burbs,
I'm useless because I blew out my knee,
Once upon a time you wanted to be
the best wrestler in the world,
and now you're pretending to be Betty Crocker?
This "Martha Stewart mom of the year," shit?
It's not you,
You think you know me and my marriage,
but you don't know a god damn thing,
You're right, I don't,
But I've been forced to retire and I'm not even 30 years old,
What am I supposed to do now? Huh?
I didn't ask to get hurt, but I did,
Now I can sit here and try to respect that
this is how you wanna settle, but I think
you've got little more fight left in you than that,
Let me know if you want me to pick up your kid,
Thanks for the cookies,
Hey, hey! Pizza time! Pizza time!
Strap in here,
ol' mom phone,,,
Hey! You want some pizza?
Got your favorite,
That's not my favorite,
It's Bacon and onion, It's your favorite,
It's not, My favorite,
Yes it is, I read in an interview it's your favorite!
It's not my favorite, okay! It was my mom's favorite,
She liked all that greasy shit, I don't eat that anymore,
I care more about myself,
Y-You think I don't care?
I slave away at my dead end job,
day in and day out,
I have no benefits, I have no insurance, What do I do?
I come home and take care of my mother,
My brother sends money as if that's some actual form of help,
All I have is wrestling,
Well at least, until now,
Cause now,,, I have you,
I see pain everyday when I wake up and I look at her,
Because pain is all she knows, It's her whole world,
So please, Matt, tell me how much pain you're in
as you travel from town to town
with hundreds of people cheering your name,
And tell me how much it hurts
to have all of these people care whether you win or you lose,
whether you live or whether you die,
Cancer is eating away at her,
It's not drug addiction, It's not self doubt,
It's not whatever ego-driven bullshit has turned you into the
meat puppet that you are, Matt,
The world doesn't owe us shit,
But sometimes, that's all it gives us,
Whoa, alright, What do I have to do to get out of here,
That's real easy, You want me to open this cellar door?
You just gotta open your heart,
Are you kidding me?! Let me go!
You see this?
I had this made for me, It's great,
It looks like you,
It's close enough, It's kind of like you, right?
I had it made for me, of you, for me,
Someone worked really hard on this,
Isn't it great?
I used to love shit like this when I was a kid,
I think that's why I love wrestling, It's the fans,
God, they're the best, man,
They see the talent you bring to the ring,
and they really respect that,
Men, women, and children,
all captivated by, by your actions,
You can hold a room in the palm of your hand
without even saying a word, That's not lost on me,
That-that's a powerful energy, That emotion,
It can change the world, man,
I just want to know you,
What do you want to know?
Everything,
I was never much of a fighter growing up, really,
More of a, more of a punching bag,
My old man would come home
after a long day on the docks and try to drink away all the
shitty decisions and beat something better into us kids,
But I never let him at my sister,
and I never let him at my mom,
Sister was older, but somebody had to stand up to him,
Oh, he got a kick out of it, yeah,
Told me I was learning to defend myself every time my mom would
try to jump in and stop him,
It got so bad they couldn't keep pulling me out of school for
another black eye or busted lip,
so they just took me out all together, I didn't care,
Gave me more time with mom,
She liked to cook almost as much as she liked to eat,
Every day in the kitchen,
it's like Iron Chef when you ain't got shit, You know?
She even got me into it,
I dreamed of,,, it's silly, but
I dreamed of becoming a chef,
Can you imagine that? Me? A chef?
Would you cook for me?
It's a little hard to cook when you're uh,
chained to a wall,
I didn't mean now, we have pizza!
Child Services came around after my sister ran off,
That really shook us all up,
My old man thought he was gonna beat on me like usual,
But that night, that night was my night,
Do you know it only takes eleven pounds of pressure
to rip off a human ear?
Uh, no, I-I did not,,, know that?
He learned that the hard way,
I broke both of his arms in three separate places,
Last I heard, that piece of shit couldn't even wipe his own ass,
Well, what happened to your mom?
Over the years she started to eat her feelings,
and let's be honest, she had a lot of feelings,
It's a joke, man, Lighten up,
Anyway, I got a job to pay for her gastric bypass surgery,
Woof, What a recovery that is,
Mood swings, sugar fluctuation, you name it,
But she got through it, and it works,
She started to lose some serious weight and
get her life together,
But under all that weight was,,, a lump,
Breast cancer,
Medical bills drained me dry and I needed cash, quick,
What did you do?
I found my sister,
Wait, what?
Well, I found the guys she ran off with at least,
Some bullshit wannabe biker gang used to run drugs and hookers
out of that flea bag motel over there by the interstate,
Dog fights, bare knuckle boxing in the basement,
that kind of garbage,
I took my last paycheck and cashed into big bills and went
down there and put it all on the line against one of their own,
You did that? No way! That takes balls,
I was all hopped up on self righteousness and self-loathing,
I went in there with my money ready to brawl,
and that's when I saw her,
Your sister?
The years hadn't been kind but I knew it was her,
What I didn't know, was the guy facing me in that pit, well,
that was her boyfriend,
That was the first beating I ever took by choice,
And I made it look like it was one of the worst of my life,
Wait, Why, why would you lose?
Because you don't know what it means to sacrifice for family,
To really sacrifice, She told me to take a dive
because she knew if I won that fight those guys
were gonna kill me,
After they threw me out into the street, all bloody and beaten,
that's when I found out she'd taken all her money,
every penny that she had, and bet on me losing,
She, She gave you all the money? For your mom's surgery?
Family's a funny thing isn't it,
Your mom must've been proud,
She died of a heart attack
Just like that,
Cancer never stood a chance to her broken heart,
But what about your sister?
Well, the coroner said it took her about an hour to bleed out,
Found her in a bathroom in a tub of ice,,,
carved up real good,
They tried to sell her kidneys,
So then what?
So then I call you a fucking asshole for thinking
I'd ever open up to you, you psycho!
Paul? Come on, Paul, I need my pills!
Mommy's calling!
Paul I need to,,, Oh, I've messed myself,
There is shit everywhere, Paul!
On the floor! In my bed! All over my ass!
Yeah, no, I told you I PayPal'd you that money last week for the
Plan C, D, or the Plan B, You don't got PayPal? Uh yeah,
Then I Venmo'd you-
I Venmo'd you whatever to your MySpace or whatever the fuck,
You're gonna start hurting our feelings soon here, Solomon,
Look Alex, I just ne-
Look, look, you're just gonna shut up
for the next two minutes,
or I'm gonna stab you for the next thirty seconds,
You ever really feel how long thirty seconds can last?
Alex, I'm just trying to put together a deal-
You wanna find out? Huh? Huh? Huh?
I said cut the shit! Okay? I don't know who you two
cockstains think you work for, this ain't how we do business,
Maybe it's you that doesn't understand how this works,
You owe, We collect,
Derek and me are hoping to Christ, that you can't deliver,
I need to finish this deal out here,
You need me out here as well, or you don't get any money,
None of us get any money,
We can't go back empty handed,
I can give you both of 'em,
Matt and Amy,
I get her back in the ring, ring ready, how ever they want,
He's lying, Alex, He's lying,
Maybe, Let's find out for sure,
Be it, dream it, believe it, baby, yeah!
Come on Daddy!
Did I just hear someone say dreams,
This is your dream? You're thirty seven,
you live with your mother, she hates you,
your father doesn't even speak to you because he hates you,
You spend all of the money you make, which isn't much,
on porn from Japan and wrestling,
Dream, This?
You call this your dream?
I hear an awful lot of talk coming' from a little guy!
You wanna bring the heat, I'm gonna bring the meat,
Let's start cookin'!
Ugh, See, this is why no one likes you,
You have no one,
You take care of your mother, Do you know why?
Because no one else will,
You don't have anybody to go be with,
It's not like you have any friends to move in with,
So you're stuck here with her,
And remember community college?
Remember your opportunity to be around people?
Whatja do there, hmm? What did you do?
I'll tell you what you did,
You sat by a girl named Cassandra for an entire semester
and never said a fucking word,
You're pathetic, Everyone hates you,
I've heard enough talk, it's time to fight, Let's go!
Fuck you! Fuck you, I don't have a choice!
I don't have a fucking choice!
Who else is there? It's only me!
You know this! I know this!
It's only me!
It's! Not! My! Choice!
Fuck you,
Paul? Come on, Paul, I need my pills,
What'cha working on, Tiger?
Practicing my autograph,
That better be your homework,
You shoulda heard what they said when
Kelsi dropped me off at the Y yesterday,
What'd they say?
Holy shit! Your dad is a wrestler?!
Cash!
You asked me what they said,
So, why do you need to practice your autograph?
Well, tomorrow's supposed to be Bring A Parent to school day,
and since dad's not back,
I was gonna sign my stuff as my wrestling name,
CK Money,
That's a really great wrestling name
Since your dad's not back, I can go with you if you want
Yeah, but the kids at school want a real wrestler,
Besides, they say it's all fake, anyway,
Well, you know it's not fake,
I told them it was predetermined and they just laughed at me,
Your dad's coming home soon, okay? I promise,
Hey, how about this? Do you wanna call him?
It's his voicemail,
So leave a voicemail, goober,
Hey dad, sucks you missed career day,
but that's okay, I hope you're kicking ass!
Cash!
I'm sorry, Hope you're not mad I called,
Love you, Miss you,
You probably made his whole day,
Go do your homework,
Where are you, Matt?
Love you, miss you, Love you, miss you, Love you, miss you,
How long are you planning on keeping me down here?
Well that all depends on you,
How long? How long? How long?!
How do I say this in a way that you're gonna understand?
When you're sick and you're in the hospital,
you might start to feel better,
You might even feel well enough to leave, but ultimately,
it's your doctor's decision whether you're well enough,
Well, Matt? As your doctor, I care enough to see that you're
still sick on the inside, You're full of all this hurt and
this anger and greed and lust and all the things
that have made you weak,
You're still on the independent circuit as a wrestler and you've
been doing this for how long? And while we're on the topic,
let's say you do make it to that big show,
How long will that take, and then what?
You're a thoroughbred, you're a fucking champion, Matt,
and you're pissing everything away,
What are you talking about?
You're losing your edge, Now, you're wife, Ohhhhh,
She had it, And look what happened to her,
Don't talk about my wife,
Why? Why did she walk away?
It can't be because you got her knocked up, no,
that's too fucking easy,
That's none of your concern,
And it doesn't concern you?
Bullshit, She wants you to quit,
And then what, Matt? You give up on your fans?
On your dreams? See, that's your problem,
You have a complete refusal to confront the inevitable,
You think being here is a mistake? Come on, man,
You know better, And if you don't, guess what?
Here's where you're gonna learn,
You do-you don't make any sense!
No one wakes up in the morning and thinks
"I'd like to get my ass kicked for a living,"
You're on the road 250 days a year,
You're away from your wife, You're away from your son,
And you got till, about what, forty?
And after that you're just some washed up hasbeen who
doesn't know when to fucking quit,
It's tough on your body, it's tough on your spirit,
it's tough on your mind, And yet, here you are,
still out there, fighting away,
So what turns your screw?
What do you like? What gets you off?
I've always loved wrestling,
I've always loved seeing the others tha-that grab their
future and shape it and bend it to their will,
And yes, I know, I know, I know that it's fake,
But I love the pageantry, and I love the violence, it's
the type of theatre the ancient greeks wished they'd invented,
But more and more, I start to ask myself,
what makes a man
want to bash another man's skull in, for a living?
You keep acting like I owe you something,
You're not a real person!
You're a sideshow freak,
You're a glorified carny, You're a fuckin' action figure,
a toy, I play with and put on a fucking shelf,
You think life is staged, but the pain, the pain is real,
and as long as you're down here, it'll continue to be real until
you learn to respect it, WOOOO!
Let me go, you piece of shit, or I'll fucking kill you, Come on!
Ohhhhhhhh God,
I've always wanted to do that,
I hope you're not mad at me,
I'm fucking mad, I'm fucking gonna kill you,
D'awwwwww,,, hm hmmmm
jumping jacks,
What?
A thousand jumping jacks, now, Go,
Love you, miss you, Love you, miss you, Love you, miss you,
I don't know about you, but I could do this all day,
Stop it!
Now, there we go! Now we're getting somewhere!
Thousand jumping jacks,
Yeah, one, two, three,,,
Heyyy,,, hey! Hey, come back here,
What's wrong with you?
Are the kids at school picking on you?
Sit down, I'll be right back,
Is that better?
I need you to tell me who did this to you,
I need to call their parents, This isn't right,
The kids, They were making fun of dad, Of you,
They said you were a quitter, a loser,
They want dad to talk to the principal,
I might get suspended for fighting,
Suspended?
Why didn't they call me?
Kelsi was waiting to pick me up and
one of the boys whistled at her and she told him to "eat shit,"
I laughed and one of the boys punched me,
And what did Kelsi do?
Nothing, She wanted to help but
I didn't want to get her in trouble too,
There, Right there is where you punch,
If you punch someone in the face their eyes will well up
with tears and they won't be able to see,
And then what?
And then you don't stop punching,
Oh, ho, Nice, Voicemail, Cool, asshole,
Um, no, I wanted to say I'm sorry, Solomon,
Um, but, Amy's not coming back
and, I want in,
So, ring announcer, referee,
color commentary, whatever,
y-no, no, Just kidding, forget that,
Sweet as sugar,,,
hard as stone,
Kelsi,,,
Roxx,
Don't,,,
Don't act like you forgot about me,
I was the best, I am the best,
And you?
you can't handle this!
Ugh,,,
I can't handle this,
I can't handle this,,,
Hey, Cash, Hey! Buddy,
What are you? Get me out of here,
No! What are you? Don't do-
Cash, Cash! Buddy! It's dad,
Ow, what? Why? Come on, Hey,
What are you doing?
Solomon, my family, my kid, Solomon my-
Ugh, Hey, good morning, champ,
Ready for another day of training?
It's time to end your little game of make believe,
I'm not some kind of Build-A-Bear
you could just play with, You're gonna let me go,
and you're gonna let me go now,
What are you talking about? You're a champion, Ugh,
You're gonna be a champion you know? When we get finished here,
Why can't you see that?
Shut up, Shut up, Shut up,
That's all you do is talk and talk and talk, Shut up!
As a kid, I had superheroes, Wrestlers,
Real life superheroes,
The thing is, when you're an adult and you're still talking
about those superheroes, people laugh at you and
they think you're crazy,
But mine w-were special,
they were just like every other superhero,
They would jump through the air, they could fly,
they took on evil,
Nobody cares,
Nobody cares about you,,, or this,
Nobody cares,
Now just let me go,
Do you ever think back to when you were a kid?
You, uh,,,
Think your kid would be real proud of you?
Traveling around, putting on a leotard, jumping around,
getting all sweaty with other men?
You think that's what he envisions for dear ol' dad?
Shut your mouth,
Oooohh,
You think your son hates you
as much as you hate him for dragging you down?
God damn it, shut your fucking mouth!
Oh why, why, why, why, why, why?
Why, why do you not care as much as I do?!
You gonna fuck over me?
You gonna fuckin' play games with me?
You gonna fuck over Solomon who's there for
fuckin' everybody? Who the fuck is there for me, cunt?
I'll show you how to fuckin' win a fucking game,
What the hell?
Good morning, Amy,
My name is Solomon and I'm here to deliver your wake up call,
You missed a match I told you to be at because your
dickhead husband is god knows where,
Keep your voice down, my kid is sleeping,
Fuck your kid, and fuck you!
You took all the work I put in to making you
what the fuck you were and flushed it down the toilet
with your fuckin' tampons, So then what do I do?
I take your dickhead husband and I make him into
Matt Fucking Cross,
And what does he do with my work?
Who fucking knows 'cause we can't find him,
Ow,,ow,,,
You only care about yourself, admit it, Admit it!
No!
You don't have the heart of a champion,
You don't have what it takes to make it to prime time,
Not without me, Are you ever gonna admit that, hmm?
You're just, Like, Mom,
You can't do this without me,
Why can't you see that?
You're done, He's done, You're both finished,
Okay, I told you I don't know where Matt is
and I'm not gonna wrestle!
Get out!
No I'm going anywhere,
Mom?
I'm sorry, baby, We didn't mean to wake you,
Mr, Solomon was just leaving,
I am not going anywhere because I am owed something and if I
can't get it out of your piece of shit husband
it's coming out of your ass,
I said leave!
Fuck you, bitch,
Mom!
You stay right where the fuck you are 'cause you're
worthless just like your little daddy,
Go to your room and lock the door,
Now!
Okay, Okay, Okay, Okay, I see you're upset,
It's too late for Amy,,, for your kid too,
It's time to eliminate those distractions,
But it's okay,
Everything is going to be okay,
You're with me now and as long as you're with
me, everything will be fine,
What did you do?
You want a fucking fight with me?
Well, now you've got one,
What did you do?
No,,, no,,, no!
You're making a mistake!
I,,, I love you,
Oh,,, Oh,,,
Oh, what the fuck,,,
Oh, what the fuck?!
Emergency Services,
Yeah, 911? Trace this call,
Oh,,, that's so messed up,
Ugh, ugh!
Oh my,,,
Amy?
You sure you're ready?
Ready when you are,
Feels right to be back in your corner,
It's you and me vs, the world, remember?
Yeah,
Ladies and Gentlemen,
returning to the ring for the first time in ten years,
Amy and Matt Cross!