Have you ever run away before?
Yeah, but my grandma found me, and you know what happens
to a Black girl when she doesn't act right,
What happens?
You have to pick the belt,
Is that what you're trying to run away from?
I told you last week that things are pretty much meaningless,
Sometimes I go to the overlook at night by myself,
I feel like I've already hurled myself off it,
I'm a fucking idiot, Dr, Taylor,
I'm just like, afraid all the time,
Afraid of what?
That I don't have what it takes,
And what if it you did have what it takes, Laila?
I'd be brave enough!
Brave enough for what?
To just quit,
Laila, are you thinking about suicide?
How fucking dare you,
Okay, where is she?
I went into her room this morning, and everything is gone,
Normally, it's just a few things so I won't notice,
but now, she doesn't even care,
Bags, shoes, clothes, all of it, Gone,
I know she must've said something to you about her plan,
No, you can't tell me that, can you?
I send you emails, I call,
- You don't tell me a damn thing, - Rhonda,
Laila's 18, She has a right to privacy,
But I understand you being worried about her,
Worried? Hardly,
Same story, different year,
And, bless her heart, Laila always thinks
this'll be the time it sticks,
She's crazy if she thinks I won't find her again,
It's only a matter of time,
Is this the same view from the overlook?
It's a mile west, as the crow flies,
I've been checking her Uber account,
She's been dropped off there almost every day this week,
Last night even,
- Laila tell you what she did with her car? - Yes,
- She donated it, - Donated it?
How's she gonna do that without the title in her name?
That girl left the keys in it
over on Leimert Boulevard and just walked away,
Did you see Laila when she came home
from the overlook last night?
Does it matter when she left?
Gone is gone,
Please, Brooke, Help me find her,
- Tell me what you know, - Rhonda,
Have you ever considered letting Laila go?
- Are you out of your mind? - I mean she's smart, capable,
She's an adult,
I pay you an ungodly amount of money
to help my granddaughter,
and this is what I get in return?
- The suggestion that I just give up on her? - Not give up on her,
Give in to her,
This is clearly what she wants,
Maybe you should indulge her, and I'm not talking about
indulging her with the latest bag
or phone,
I'm talking about her heart,
You know, I can tell you've never been a mother,
Because if you were,
you would know that "a child left to himself
bringeth his mother to shame,"
Well, would you mind indulging me for a moment?
I'd like to try a thought experiment,
if you're open to it,
Fine, What is it?
What's the worst that could happen
if you don't go after Laila?
Walk me through your predictions, whatever you imagine,
Well, she wouldn't go to college,
What happens if she doesn't go?
Look at me, Divorced three times,
Cocktail waitressing at the Flamingo at 50,
I don't wish any of that on Laila,
- I want her to have options, - So,
- college is about giving Laila choices in her life? - Absolutely!
Yet, it's the only choice you'll allow her to make,
When my son called and said Desiree had left,
and he and Laila needed me, I was on the next flight,
I traded Vegas for a futon in Anaheim,
No job, no friends, no boyfriend,
Just a-a dirty toddler and a sore back,
Jamal was nowhere around,
Wrecked over his marriage, working himself to the bone,
You know, I had already raised up my boy,
I had made those mistakes,
and I was determined to do it better,
Laila's so smart,
Her brain, my goodness,
And the mouth on her,
Mm, makes you wanna just,,,
You know,
But she deserves everything I never had,
My father felt the same way,
That's right, I'm sure he did,
We all know the best defense against this world,
in this skin, is excellence,
It makes us impossible to deny,
- Look at you now, - I don't agree with that philosophy, Rhonda,
- You don't? - Sitting in this chair,
I often witness the mental burden of the idea
that just by virtue of being Black,
we are obligated to excel,
That our excellence is the basis upon which
our humanity is seen and respected,
That's right, it shouldn't be,
But I live in the real world,
And that's just the thing, Rhonda,
That's not reality
to believe that some abstract
definition of excellence,
defined by whiteness, no less,
is the key to our freedom?
That is a fantasy,
And what makes Laila
very much her grandmother's granddaughter,
- In what way? - Well, you both seem to concoct
these grand ideas of
how things should go, and if what is
doesn't match up with what should be,
- all is lost, - She's supposed to be good,
She's supposed to do right,
She's supposed to be devoted and grateful
- and,,, - And that's what the belt is for,
She tell you I beat her, I never beat her, Ever,
A spanking, yes,
Absolutely,
but that is educational,
She needs to know what is accepted and what is not,
And as you well know, Ms, Taylor,
us Black folk are held
to a different standard in this life,
And I'm the villain,
I didn't say you were a villain,
It's a legacy of trauma that our people are constantly asked
to reckon with,
You'll never know what it's like,
The number of times Laila has had me
dead to rights with worry,
The number of years she has shaved off my life
with the stunts she's pulled,
If I didn't love her so much, I'd,,,
Every time, in moments like these,
I pray, "Dear Lord,
please keep Laila safe,"
And at the same time, I am so angry,
In my heart,
how dare she,
Instead of how dare she,
what if you framed it as,
"She dared,"
Rhonda, your phone, Do you want to check it?
Oh, it's not mine,
Wait, you have Laila's phone?
It was charging in her room when I went in this morning,
Keeps going off with all these notifications,
I don't know how she stands it,
I found all these old texts from,,,
Cara,
Can't read a one of 'em,
And you don't find it strange that she left it behind?
I chalk it up to her getting smarter,
Same with the credit cards,
No plane fares, no rental cars,
I checked in with her school, friends,
Have you reached out to Cara?
I spoke to her mother this morning,
though a lot of good it did me,
It's over between them,
They haven't spoken in over a week,
Might be the one thing you did right in here, Doctor,
Anyone else that Laila might reach out to?
Another friend? A cousin? Family member?
- Brooke, you're starting to scare me, - That's not my intention,
I'm just,,, I'm trying to, uh, piece together,,,
And the car, Rhonda, She just walked away from it?
- Mm-hmm, - As far as you know,
things are over between her and Cara,
That's what her mother told me,
And the last place the Uber dropped her
was the overlook,
So how did she get home?
What about, um, social media?
Is there any activity in the last 24 hours?
Well, there was something last night,
Uh, I couldn't make any sense of it though,
Ave atque vale,
Hail and farewe,,,
farewell,
Rhonda, did you report Laila missing this morning?
They'll say what they always say,
That it's a voluntary disappearance, and that means,,,
Wait,
- Why? - Now, I'm not saying that Laila,,,
That-that Laila what? What-what are you saying?
Rhonda, I think it's time for us to call emergency services,
Rhonda, I'd like to talk about what we might expect, alright?
We requested a welfare check, Are you familiar with that?
It's a request friends and family can make
when they fear for someone's mental state,
I requested that they go check on Laila at the overlook,
and I stressed that they send mental health responders,
- not the police, - Ugh!
Never should've brought her here, Hm,
Never,
I thought it might help make her stronger,
Now, look-look what you've done, You were supposed to help her,
You're not alone in your skepticism about what I do,
Therapy's not exactly
a time-honored tradition in our community,
It's hard to get over the stigma when there's so few therapists
who look like us, who understand,,, us,
There are plenty of explanations, Brooke,
You know that, right?
Good ones, Plenty, I mean,
what about Laila taking her mother's ring?
That has to mean something,
Maybe she went looking for her,
- Would she where to start? - Nah,
Not much worth knowing, frankly,
That woman's off raising a white man's babies and,,,
made herself a whole white family, and that was that,
Did she try keeping in contact with Laila?
Oh sure, She tried,
But it was all so damn confusing,
Eventually, she just couldn't do it anymore,
Decided it was better for everyone in the long run,
I'll never understand,,,
how she could just walk away,
My son, he's not perfect, but no man is,
But that sweet baby girl,
How could you not want to know her every minute?
I mean, she's,,,
she's everything,
Is that true?
Why else would I do so much for her?
I want Laila's every last dream to come true,
You sure they're her dreams?
Well, they sure as hell aren't mine,
Berkeley?
That's her dream?
Berkeley, yes, Absolutely yes,
Ask her,
My son? He works all the time,
Misses out on a lot, but he provides,
You know, we have a life,
I couldn't have thought to imagine back where I came from,
We were poor people, Brooke, Poor people,
And even now, it's not the house, the cars,
The real luxury Jamal's success
has given to this family
is the opportunity to dream,
What do you mean?
Laila, being all in her head all the time,
In some ways, that's success,
She's not stuck somewhere thinking about
where her next meal is coming from,
Not counting the hours before the power's cut off,
You think anybody ever asked me
what my hopes were when I was growing up?
They're gonna care what a half-starved little Black girl
out of east Texas in the '60s
wants out of life?
Come on, now,
And if they had asked,
- what did you want? - That's what I'm saying, Brooke,
I didn't have dreams,
All I have are the people I make,
and I put every single thing I have into them,
My child and the child of my child,
And now, look, He-he's dead inside,
and she,,,
is in the wind,
I can feel how deep your pain runs, Rhonda,
I spent over half my life in service
of other people's dreams,
My father put me through the paces,
and I resented him my entire life,
Never got to make peace,
I wouldn't wish that on anyone,
You mean you wouldn't wish it on me and Laila,
I'm glad you made the connection,
You're a real piece of work, Brooke Taylor,
That girl breaks my heart,
She tears me to pieces,
which makes me want to tear her to pieces,
and you try to make me feel sorry for her?
- Sitting there, judging me,,, - No,
for the way I raise my grandbaby?
For the way I have loved her?
And all the while, she's missing,
Maybe hurt, Maybe worse,
- I don't wanna hear it, Brooke, - No, Rhonda,
I was only going to say that,,,
it's always so much easier to be mad
than scared,
Dr, Brooke Taylor,
Oh, so formal,
What's up, Dr, T? Do you have a moment?
Of course, Laila,
I'm sorry, but I was gonna call you
at the beginning of our session, but, uh, got confused
at the time zones and everything,
Give me the phone,
- Sounds like you're okay, - I am, actually,
I'm good, Really good,
What did you mean by time zones?
Well, I did it,
I left, I'm-I'm in Lima,
Can you FaceTime? I can show you,
So, I am here, alone,
That is really something,
- I'm,,, - What?
Shocked? Upset?
I'm proud,
I'm so glad you called to check in,
I was worried when you didn't show,
And there's,,,
someone else you should be in contact with,
Grandma? So she can come down here
and drag me back? Nah, I'm not doing that,
Well, just call her and tell her you
- aren't ready to come home, - She's gonna, like,
straight-up choke me through the phone, No way,
Listen, Laila,
You made it to a new country, You found a place to sleep,
- You, what, you bought that phone there? - Yeah,
I had to, Rhonda's had tracking apps on my phone
since I was, like, 10,
You're navigating a city you've never been in before, You!
And you're telling me you're incapable of calling
your grandmother to tell her you don't want her to worry,
but you want to stay where you are?
Look, she doesn't care where I am,
- Can I ask you a question, Laila? - Hm,
Why'd you take your mother's ring?
Um,,, I'm scared,
But, um, but she did it, You know?
Did what?
Well, my mom needed to go, and she did,
I was mad at her for so long, but,,,
I think I sort of understand now,
I,,, sort of,
Maybe she's a little like my hero,
Okay, look,
How about I promise to think about calling Rhonda?
- I'll take it, - Okay,
Well, I need to go to the train station,
figure out if buying a ticket in person
is easier than buying one online
because it was, like, a mess the first time,
Ave atque vale,
Ah! You saw my post?
Was it too cryptic? I don't know,
Like, I-I thought it was cool, but, you know,
just like saying goodbye to the city and all,
It was cryptic, And cool,
Hm,
Well, um,
enjoy the rest of your, uh,
night or day or,,,
Yeah, Bruh, like, time zones?
Call me, Anytime,
Thanks, Dr, Taylor,
She's safe, Rhonda,
She's safe,
- Where is she? - You think you can let Laila
- be where she is? - Which is where, damn it?!
Even if she doesn't make the right choices?
Even if she messes up, Even,
God forbid, she gets herself hurt,
It's important for Laila to do this on her own,
I've done a good long time on this Earth, Brooke,
but I have never been as mad at-at anyone
as I am at you this very minute,
Or you've never been so scared,
We've talked about the worst thing
that could happen if you let Laila go,
but the best thing that could happen
is Laila finds her purpose
and you finally know yours,
I saw your car in the garage on the way in,
You think you're some kind of professional,
out here driving around in a Prius?
What's wrong with a Prius?
Honey, they got all kinds of
environmental cars these days,
You don't have to punish yourself,
Come to the dealership,
and I'll make sure you drive away in a real car,
What if it's her? What do I do?
You listen,
Hello?