He's just hit his son! Call the police,
HE GASPS Please! Stop!
We can't go back to London,
It's actually really quiet here,
John was always attracting trouble in London,
You got a problem with me, pal?
You better watch your back, mate, WATCH YOUR BACK!
Did you tell him what a monster I've been?
Keep your cards close to your chest before you let them see
the monster inside, GROANING
I left him without a face,
He didn't have a face,
Are you sure no-one saw you?
No-one around that I could see,
I'll deal with Angus,
There's three steps out of this,
Shower, Sleep,
Silence,
BREATHES SHAKILY
PANTS
BREATHES SHAKILY
ECHOING MALE LAUGHTER
'Come on, then, you idiot,'
ECHOING, LAUGHING: 'I'm coming to get you,'
ECHOING MALE LAUGHTER
KEYS JANGLE
SHED DOOR SLAMS
KNOCKING REBECCA: Tommy, come on, sweetheart!
We're gonna be late! Coming!
PANTING
KNOCKING
Hi,
We,,, We met last night,
Is your dad in? It's Sunday,
They're in church, Oh,,,
Did you enjoy your run last night?
I saw you,
KEYS JANGLING, LOCK TURNING
Hey! Guys, guys, guys, Screens down,
Eye contact, Look at Daddy, Look at Daddy,
I've got a great idea, Let's go to church!
What's "church"?
Ask Mummy,
But you hate religion, I hate religion!
Well, you know, you get older, your perspective changes,
So, what, you believe in God now? I don't know, maybe,
You're the one always saying we need to integrate
into the community more, Yeah, but,,,
And what better way to do that than go to the church?
You think I should wear this?
I can't believe we're doing this, It'll be fun,
I think you've gone mad, Or maybe I've gone mad,
Maybe I'm not really here,
Maybe I choked to death on a smoked kipper in Daylesford Organic,
and now I'm in hell in the Scottish Highlands,
Yeah, Maybe,
CHURCH BELL TOLLS
I feel over-dressed, You are,
Oh, I am so glad you came!
Welcome! Welcome! We're about to start,
This young lady here, she will show you to the Sunday school,
Come on, I don't believe in God,
Sorry about that,
It's hard to believe in God when you grow up in Dalston,
I'll be right back, Is Tommy around?
Tommy, yes, he's just over there,
Welcome, and enjoy,
Can we talk? Friends! Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!
It's lovely to see you all, with all your, your lovely smiley faces,
If you'd like to take your seats, we shall begin,
# Amazing Grace
# How sweet the sound
# That saved a wretch like me
# I once was lost
# But now I'm found
# Was blind but now I see
# Twas grace that taught
# My heart to fear
# And grace my fears relieved,,, # HE GASPS
Argh!
FAR AWAY, ECHOING: # How precious did that grace appear
# The hour,,, #
What are you doing? I'm gonna get prayed for,
Are you serious? What for? Peace of mind,
SINGING CONTINUES DISTANTLY
Oh, my,
What would you like me to pray for?
What happened? Was he dead?
JOHN GASPS
I took him back to his caravan,
Made it look like it was a fire, Don't worry,
Everything is under control,
I have to go to the police,
I have to confess, No, Don't do that! No!
Say "Amen" when I say "Amen", What?
Amen, Amen,
Don't go to the police,
Say it was just me, I'll keep your name out of it,,,
No! No, That's not what'll happen, John, Think about it!
You're an honest man, not a hardened criminal,
As soon as you confess, they'll get it all out of you,
They won't,,, You're not thinking clearly!
You're looking at a lifetime behind bars,
You'll never see your wife or kids again,
You really want that?
I can't live with this on my conscience,
Your son said he saw me out running last night,
So what? You go running all the time,
It was the way he said it, Like he saw me,
You're being paranoid,
Trust me, Cameron is not observant, He lives in his own head,
Before you go to the police, take some time to think it over,
I guess that makes sense,
A day, right?
Yeah, A day,
Look at that! This is what you moved here for,
To be closer to nature,
So, John, did you enjoy the service?
Very much so, Ooh!
You all right? Me? I'm fine,
PHONE RINGS
Yeah?
Sorry, excuse me,
So, did you enjoy the service, Fiona?
I did, yeah,
It's very hard to shake Him off once he gets under your skin,
Who? The Lord,
Oh, my goodness! Are you,,, ARE you serious?
When? Is everything all right, love?
It's Angus Gillespie,
There was a fire in his caravan last night,
He's dead,
GRUNTING, LAUGHTER
John? John!
KIDS SHOUTING AND PLAYING
Go and play in the garden! Go on, quickly!
SHE SIGHS
How you feeling?
Yeah, much better,
Yeah?
I can't believe we came here looking for peace and quiet,
and instead, we've landed in a hotbed of mayhem and death,
Well, that's a bit extreme, Well, there's Angus dying in a fire,
It's a fairly common thing to happen anywhere,
Well, this murder, for example, Murder?
The one that Rebecca was talking about, Suzie Bissett,
Oh, that's from years ago,
Are you seeing your psychiatrist tomorrow?
Don't call him my psychiatrist, It makes me feel like Norman Bates,
Maybe you should talk to him about this,
Talk to him about what? Angus's death,
Why would I talk to him about that? Well, don't you feel guilty?
Why would I feel guilty? Because you had a confrontation,
He humiliated you in public, and then he dies,
So what? Well,,,
On some level, you must feel responsible for his death,
Oh, come on, Fiona,
That kind of armchair psychology's beneath you,
I think that's why you fainted,
I fainted because I've been running too much and I hadn't had breakfast,
It's like the play park all over again,
Why are you bringing that up? Cos I think it's trauma,
And I think there's a connection between the two,
You're obsessed with the play park thing,
You're obsessed! Mum?
Yes, darling? I cut my knee,
Oh, sweetheart! Let me find you a plaster,
Come on,
DIAL TONE RINGS
'Hey, honey, can I ring you back?
'I'm just in the middle of something,'
Yeah, yeah, I just wanted to say, erm,,,
I just,,, I just wanted to say I love you,
And I'm sorry,
DISCONNECT TONE BEEPS
PHONE RINGS
KNOCKING Hello?
- Hi, - Hi, how can I help you?
I'd like to confess to a crime, OK,,,
That's me away now, Lucy, John?
We met the other night? Tommy's house?
Oh, yes, Hi, Sorry, I'm not very good with names,
Ah, it's Bobby, Bobby the Bobby, easy to remember!
Although I'm actually a volunteer constable,
I'm not a full-time police officer, I'll deal with this, Lucy,
You go and get yourself a sausage roll, Yes, sir,
What's this about a crime?
If it's something serious like sexual assault,
for example, we're probably better phoning it in to Glasgow,
It's not sexual assault,
So, what is it, then?
I,,,
John?
Tommy?
I'm just in to see Bobby, Bobby, have you got that book I lent you?
The one about Richard Ramirez? Oh, yeah, yeah! I just finished it!
I cannae imagine anything worse than waking up,,,
BOBBY'S VOICE FADES What are you doing here?
Here it is, Cracking read! Are you off hunting, Bobby?
Aye, aye, aye, Wee cheeky one,
Mind if I tag along?
I'd be delighted, Tommy, Aye, aye! I'll just finish up with John, here,
Well, John can come too, Right, John? Ha,
Why not? The more the merrier,
# Someone get me a gun
# Cos someone's killed This father's son
# There's no rest, not for me
# Until your soul No longer roams free, #
What bullets you brought, Bobby? ,308 cartridges, Tommy,
Perfect, That'll do the job, Aye, aye, aye,
One of these on the mark, it'll go down like a sack of spuds,
GUN CLICKS, CARTRIDGES RATTLE
GUNS CLICKING
Are you OK, John?
'You said you wouldn't go to the police,'
I said I'd sleep on it,
I did sleep on it, and then I decided to tell the police,
You said you'd give it a day, I did give it a day!
A day is 24 hours! It hasn't been 24 hours!
You didn't even come and tell me, You didn't give me any warning,
Hold up, Bobby, Give us a spare gun,
Oh, no, I don't know how to use a gun,
It's easy, You cock it, like that,
You never point a loaded gun in someone's face, Never,
BREATHES SHAKILY
Take care now, That's all I'm saying,
Hey, Bobby, Heard this one?
Guy goes to the doctor,
Doctor says, "Listen, you're really gonna have to stop wanking,"
Man goes, "Why?"
Doc says, "Cos I'm trying to examine you,"
BOBBY LAUGHS
"Stop wanking,"
John?
JOHN PANTS
John?
BULLET FIRES, STAG GRUNTS
Shame you didn't shoot it, John, We could have blooded you,
It's a coming-of-age ritual,
Smeared with the blood of your first kill, Like this,
JOHN GRUNTS AND PANTS
BOBBY AND TOMMY CHUCKLE
BOBBY WHISTLES I'm sorry, John,
I didn't mean to scare you with the gun,
You have to see it from my point of view,
I don't even know you, John, You come to me with a problem,
I try to help, Be a good neighbour,
But when I saw you at the police station, I panicked,
I felt betrayed, Well, I'm sorry, Tommy,
I'm,,, not used to lying, I'm gonna get caught,
And I don't know how to live with this on my conscience,
I killed a man,
But it was self-defence, He would have killed you,
We don't know that,
I know that cos I know Angus Gillespie,
He was a worthless piece of shit, No-one'll care that he's gone,
He would go up to girls, girls as young as your daughter,
and proposition them at the school gates,
Comment on how their bodies were developing,
I'm proud I helped you,
Not one part of me regrets it,
BOBBY CLEARS HIS THROAT
I'm afraid I have to address the, er,,, elephant in the room,
Tommy, can you give me and John a minute?
We're all friends here, Bobby,
It's about this crime you wanted to confess to,
I think we can do this here, John, right?
He's embarrassed, Shall I tell him?
It was a "hate" crime,
A hate crime? On social media,
He got into a fight with a woman,
And he called her,,, D'you mind if I say this, John?
CLEARS THROAT Go ahead,
He called this woman on the internet "a stupid bitch",
She threatened to go to the police,
so John thought it best he own up to it himself,
Huh,
Well, I don't think we have to take it any further,
Just be careful what you say online in future, John,
Maybe send the lassie an apology,
Sorry, woman,
Yep, Will do,
Thanks, Bobby, We should get going,
So, what's the latest on the Angus case?
Aye, so, as we thought,
just a classic case of falling asleep with a lit cigarette,
Carbon monoxide poisoning, Third degree burns, The lot,
What a waste,
Poor Angus,
Remember what a lovely wee boy he was,
I cannae believe it,
What are we doing?
We're dropping the deer off at the pub,
I've gotta pick up the kids,
Give us a hand, then, it'll be quicker,
CAR DOOR SLAMS
Keep her coming, boys, Keep her coming, Maggie?
Maggie, get a pail of whiskey, It's a stag do!
THEY LAUGH MAGGIE: Get that out!
Please tell me you've got room in the freezer, Maggie,
You're cleaning that up, Tommy, I need to go,
Here, have a drink, John, come on! I haven't got time, I'm sorry,
Oh, no, I'll get you one, Tommy, I need to go!
Maggie! Get us another round,
You need to learn to relax and enjoy yourself, John,
You just got away with murder,
Maggie, let's get John here a pint,
I'm standing there talking to the window cleaner,
Unbeknownst to me,,, my balls are hanging out my dressing gown!
LAUGHTER Oh, my God,
There you go, Six whiskeys,
Cheers, Maggie, Can I get a wee apple juice as well? Oh, aye,
Please tell me you bought him dinner first, eh?
Starter, main and pudding,
Right, down in one! Come on!
MEN, CHANTING: Brick! Brick! Brick! Brick! Brick!
Brick! Brick! Brick!
MEN GROAN
Burp him! Somebody burp him!
Is Fiona picking up the kids today, John?
Oh,,, Oh, no, no!
He's in trouble!
Oh, God, come on,
PHONE PINGS REPEATEDLY
DIAL TONE RINGS
PHONE RINGS
- John? - 'I'm sorry,'
Where are you? I've been trying to ring you all day!
I haven't had reception, Can you hear me?
Yeah,
'You need to call the school, I forgot to pick up the kids!'
Er, erm, I'm with them now,
'Er, the school called, we're home,'
Oh, thank God!
Oh, John, I've been so worried about you all day,
Last I heard from you, I thought you were gonna,,,
Going to what?
It doesn't matter, It doesn't matter,
Just as long as you're OK,
'Better than ever! I'm at the pub,'
The pub? What, erm,,,
I didn't realise the time,
Well, when are you coming home? I need to work,
I'm probably over the limit,
This is crazy, John!
Fiona! For the first time in years,
I'm having a good time like you always tell me to do,
and you're giving me endless grief about it!
I don't mind you having a good time, but I am stressed,
and I'm trying to make this work, and you are drunk?
And you've abandoned the kids!
I did not abandon the kids!
And I'm not drunk! I've had two beers and two whiskies,
You don't even drink whiskey! I have to drink whiskey now!
'We're in Scotland!' Oh, the fucker,
'Fine, I'll get a taxi home,'
No! no, no, no,
'This is all a mess,
'I can't have you looking after the kids when you're drunk,'
I am not drunk!
'Then why are you shouting?'
Why are you shouting? BECAUSE I'M FURIOUS!
OK, fine, I'm sorry, I-I messed up,
I'll come back home,
have a quick nap to sober up and then you can go back to work,,,
CRASHING
Hello?
DISCONNECT TONE BEEPS
Hello! Thought you were out,
What you doing? Nothing,
I think we need to have a talk,
What about? Sit down,
Come on, sit down,
Erm, Mum, I don't know what - what you think I'm,,,
I know that this is embarrassing, but it has to be said,
It's about the pornography you were watching,
What? You watch the "MILF" stuff, right?
Mum, please, stop,
Hey, listen, it's totally fine if you want to watch it,
No, I don't watch MILF porn, Mum! Oh, my God!
You're obviously into older women, Catriona, for a start,
No! We're just friends,
And now you've got your eye on Fiona,
No, Mum, no, I,,, I wasn't,,,
I caught you spying on her out the window,
What I don't want, Cameron,
I don't want your porn habits to affect your,,,
your expectations about sex,
I-I-I was looking for John! I wasn't looking for Fiona,
John? I don't fancy Fiona,
Oh, do you fancy John?! Oh, my God, no!
Oh, it's totally fine to be gay, I'm not gay, Mum,
Why are you trying to catch a glimpse of John?
Where's Dad?
He's down the Horse with the lads, why?
With John?
Yes,,, with John,
Mum, don't you think,,, John's,,, a bit suss?
Suss?
What makes you think that? Cameron? What is it? What is bothering you?
Are you a little bit jealous because Dad is not spending time with you?
No, Well, you know that Dad loves you very much,
You know that, I know Mum, it's not that,
Why don't you go and join them?
I'm sure he'd be delighted to see you,
Yeah, You know what, that's actually a good idea,
I better get going,
What? MEN GROAN
No, I, I have to be home with my kids,
Get me peace, Stay, John, Boo!
Stay!
Stay, John, stay!
Stay, John, stay! Stay, John, stay! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Stay, John, stay! Stay, John, stay!
You are late, Catriona, Sorry, I know,
Stay, John, stay! Stay, John, stay!
Stay, John, stay! All right, all right, all right!
I'll stay! CHEERING
Why do we always end up talking about this?
They just make better serial killers,
that's all I'm saying!
You're obsessed with the Yanks, He is,
Look at who Scotland's produced, eh?
Dennis Nilsen, Ian Brady, Bible John!
That's like having Messi, Mbappe and Ronaldo all on the same team!
Catriona!
Give us a smile, love,
Catriona, have you met John?
Yeah, we met at the Co-op, Thanks,
What you looking at, John?
Would you stop staring at her! Cameron, Enough!
Son, you're embarrassing yourself, John's a happily married man,
He's making her uncomfortable, Don't get possessive,
Women hate that,
Right, lads? MEN AGREE
There's blood on your face,
Oh, aye! He went hunting today, New boy got his first kill!
John-boy! John-boy! John-boy!
I didn't really,,, JOHN-BOY!
Fucking dick! Oh, hey! Hey!
MUSIC STOPS
Maybe it's time you went home, son,
Fucking boomers, man,
MUSIC RESTARTS It's pathetic!
Why do they always call us boomers? We're Generation X,
Oh, I'm sorry, mate, Nathan?
Hi, Cameron,
Erm, I'm sorry to hear about Angus,
Thanks,
My boy Angus always liked you, I always liked him,
Nathan,,,
,,I-I need to talk to you about something,
ECHOING, DISTORTED LAUGHTER
I told you he knows something, Cameron? He doesn't know anything,
That wasn't about you,
That was about me,
I keep seeing his face everywhere, Whose face?
Angus, Course you do,
You're human, If you didn't feel guilty about this,
you'd be some kind of psychopath,
That's a good man in that mirror,
Next time you see his face, say, "Thank you, Lord,
"Thank you for reminding me I'm decent,"
Do you like dancing?
What?
JAUNTY MUSIC, CHEERING
You all right, John?
HE GROANS
You look like you're about to have a heart attack,
No, actually, actually, I'm very fit,
I'm a runner,
Good for you,
Thank you,
So, do you work here and at the Co-op?
Yeah,
You're like Rebecca Rabbit's mummy, Mummy Rabbit, From Peppa Pig,
Sorry, I watch,,,
,,a lot of kids TV,
Yeah, I got the reference, I grew up on Peppa Pig,
You're a long way from home, hm?
I'm,,, I'm ten,,, ten minutes in the car,
Gonnae come in and help us clear up, Cat?
Like I pay you to do? Yeah, yeah! I hear you,
Jog on! CATRIONA LAUGHS
Erm, if you need a place to stay,,, for the night,,,
,,I'm just up the road,
PANICKED BREATHING
TOMMY, ECHOING: You just got away with murder,
GRUNTS
GROANS
Oh, shit,
LAUGHS
TOMMY, DISTORTED: Take some deep breaths, OK?
You've got a long night ahead of you,
Don't stay up too late,
Whoa! CATRIONA GIGGLES
DOOR OPENS
Do you want Cheerios?
TV CHATTERS IN BACKGROUND
Did we, erm,,,?
Did we have sex? Uh-huh,
Technically, no,
You were too drunk to do anything,
We got naked, you kissed me, then you fell asleep,
It's just, I'm married, I know,
I've never done anything like this before,
You didn't do anything,
Yeah, but you can't tell my wife I came here,
You can't tell her I kissed you, You can't tell anyone,
I don't want to tell anyone! OK,
You think I want people to know
I fucked some floppy old man with grey pubes?
I do not have,,, grey pubes,
They are grey, PHONE CHIMES
Oh, shit!
Fuck! It's my wife, I need to get home,
You are over 18, aren't you? I'm 25,
Right, Thought so, Sorry, Thanks,
PHONE RINGS, CLEARS THROAT
'Tommy?!' SOFTLY: Your wife is here looking for you,
I told her you had too much to drink and slept in the spare room,
I don't know where I am! I woke up in someone else's house,
Whose house is that? Catriona's,
Did you sleep with her? 'No!'
I was too drunk! Stall her for me!
Ah, yeah, back when I had hair, eh?
You never mentioned you had a daughter,
Moira-Jane, She lives in Glasgow now, Primary school teacher,
Ah, she has a beautiful face, Oh, that's cos she's adopted,
HE LAUGHS
John's just having a shower,
I think he's still drunk from last night,
It's very unlike him, He never usually drinks to excess,
Well, sorry to be blunt about it
but he was absolutely plastered last night!
Well, I'm glad to hear he had a good time,
Oh, he did,
He was a big hit with all the boys from the Bible Group,
And some of the local ladies really took a shine to him,
I'd say even young Catriona's developing
something of a crush on your husband,
Wee coffee? Er, no, thank you,
Fu-u-u-uck!
So, will you and John be coming to the funeral?
What funeral? Angus's funeral,
Oh, we didn't really know him, It's a small community, Fiona,
We support each other,
Well, it didn't seem like poor Angus had much support when he was alive,
I had a lot of time for Angus Gillespie,
He was a good man,
It's a shame you couldn't be there last night, Hm?
John, he's usually the one at home with the kids
while you're out enjoying yourself,
While I'm out working,
You know, there's a school of thought that says,,,
the more housework a man does,
the less attractive he is to his partner,
Do you still find John attractive?
Erm,,, Do you still make love?
I don't think that's any of your business,
All men are driven by sex, Fiona,
You understand this, You're a woman of the world,
Tommy, I have to say, this is hugely inappropriate,
John's a good-looking man,
And in a town like this,
he's got the added glamour of being an outsider,
Just keep things interesting in the bedroom,
Some new lingerie, A roleplay or two, huh?
I'll say no more,
Is John actually coming?
Because I have a very busy day ahead of me
and I need him to be with Harry,
so could you go and get him, please? Now!
Sorry, sure, yeah, I'll go see how he's getting on,
PHONE RINGS
'Where are you now?'
'I'm nearby!'
I'll find a shortcut!
What are you doing? I'm calling the police!
No, no, no! I'm not a burglar,
I need to get home, Could you give me a lift?
My wife's expecting a baby!
Silly me, Forgot to leave him a towel,
It's my fault he's taking so long, That's a good one,
I'm a bit of a true crime fanatic, for my sins,
OK! That's me back,
Oh, Fiona,
How lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely to see you,
Oh, mwah!
Everything OK? Yeah, I'm just waiting for John,
Aye, John had a bit too much to drink last night,
so he slept in the spare room,
I'll just go chase him up,
Nice cup of tea? No, No, I'm fine, thanks,
Could you go possibly a little bit faster, please?
Just,,, Just here, Very nice to meet you,
DIAL TONE RINGS
Where is she? Take your clothes off!
Why? I told her you were having a shower,
John?
JOHN GROANS, GASPS
Come on! That's him now!
Oh, hi, honey,
Sorry, Oof!
Bit of a wild night last night, Hi, Rebecca,
That was a really, really good shower,
Hm, We should get one like that,
It's a Bristan Quadrato,
Oh, Hm,
John?
Thanks! I'll call you later, Hey, I got your back,
I love you, man,
CAT MEOWS Harlequin!
Oh, shit!
Hey, buddy,
Look, I'm sorry about yesterday,,,
I don't wanna hear it, I'm late for work,
I was supposed to be interviewing someone this morning,
but I had to cancel,
It looks really bad, Yeah, I'm sorry,
It won't happen again, Who's Catriona?
What? Catriona?
She's the girl that works in the Co-op, Isn't she?
That's what Tommy said her name was,
Fi, what?
You're a terrible liar, John, I'm not lying!
You didn't stay over at Tommy's last night,
I know you didn't,
What, you think I'm fucking some teenager who works in the Co-op?
Keep your voice down!
And I don't want that,,, that man in our lives,
Who, Tommy? I don't want you anywhere near him!
There's something wrong with him! He's poison!
You can't tell me who I'm allowed to,,,
"Oh OK, Mum, I'll stay away from the bad boy,
"Don't wanna be led astray,"
You can't tell me I need to get out of the house more
and then punish me when I do,
You can't tell me I need to make friends,
socialise, be part of life, and then control who I see!
I wanted you out of the house
because I'M SICK OF BEING MARRIED TO A FUCKING NOBODY WHO DOES NOTHING!
HARRY CRIES Go and look after your son!
DOOR OPENS
DOOR SLAMS
HARLEQUIN MEOWS
Hey, little friend,
HARLEQUIN PURRS
HARLEQUIN SCREECHES AND SQUEAKS
HARLEQUIN CHOKES
Tommy?
John's cat,
HARLEQUIN MEOWS CROAKILY
I made a beetroot salad, do you want some?
No, thank you,
You didn't have any breakfast, No, I didn't,
You should eat something,
What are you doing?
I'm preparing my sermon for Sunday,
Obviously,
What's it about?
David's failure to live in obedience to God,
His inability to accept God's blessings,
His sins,
Adultery,
Murder,
Are you OK, dear?
Something happened,
I had a feeling this was coming,
Let me finish up here, and then we can talk,
Eat your salad,
# Are you washed
# In the blood?
# Oh, are you washed in the blood
# Of the lamb?
# Are you fully trusting In his graceless hour?
# Are you washed in the blood Of the lamb?
# Oh, will your soul be ready
# For the passion's bright
# And be washed in the blood Of the lamb, #
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