رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال
May God have mercy,
Yay though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for Thou art with me,
Thy rod, thy staff, comfort me,
Hello, Father,
What took you so long?
Hello, Lieutenant,
Your friend Garvan is in here with us,
We were never friends,
Your buddy wants to talk to you but,
you better give me a moment,
It's a little crowded in here,
No!
Come clean, you motherfucker!
You think that's gonna save you?
If you're lucky,
The devil always wins,
Forgive me Father, for what I'm about to do,
Burn in hell,
What?
What happened?
You were possessed,
It's over,
He's gone,
My wife?
No!
Oh God!
What about my children?
Good God no!
What about my mother?
And my father,
My grandfather,
My,
What did I do?
They're all dead,
I,,,
It wasn't you,
It was him,
He made you do it,
Bring the body outside,
That's one way to do it,
See that?
I was a captain, right off the bat,
I'd heard,
Yeah, it was about 4,000,
Look at that moon,
Hard to believe, for 40 years
I've been flying these unfriendly skies,
Yep, I remember when we first met,
I was just a young, foxy copilot
with vim and vinegar in my veins,
Two decades later, and I'm still a fuckin' copilot,
You of course, are the big honcho,
the big man in the sky,
El Capitan de Cloudos,
Yes, it's all true, it's me,
That's me,
Anyway,
I was saving this for when we landed,
I bought it the first time I ever took over this route,
Smell that,
Oh,
Sweet, you?
Come on,
You really shouldn't,
Last chance,
There you go,
Hoo,
Oh!
That's smooth,
Welcome to Viet Kong Airways,
My name is Amanda, I'm your hostess,
If you need anything, ask him,
Welcome to Viet Kong Airways,
I'm Denny, if you need anything,
please ask Amanda,
40-F,
Oh yeah, straight on the left,
Hi there, ah thank you,
That's a nice vest,
Thank you so much,
Hear that honey?
Fucking bullshit you couldn't get
two seats next to each other,
We shoulda canceled,
It's a hiccup, sweetheart,
All right?
Vietnam's gonna be fun,
Oh yeah, some second honeymoon,
Honey, please don't start our vacation with that attitude,
We're flying standby and that's what happens,
Welcome,
Look honey, a real airplane,
Put a smile on that face,
Excuse me sir!
Hey, hi,
would you mind switching seats with my husband?
Excuse me sir, do you mind switching seats
with my husband?
His seat is all the way in the back,
and it's actually right next to the toilet,
- It's a really good seat, - Ma'am?
Would you mind?
- Yeah, - What's going on?
I want to switch seats with him,
No seat switches,
Oh yeah but if he's willing to switch,
what difference does it make?
All right, airplane rules,
Rules are rules honey, I'll sit in my seat
and I will come back and visit you during the flight,
You're handsome,
You're very kind,
Very sweet,
Yeah, whatever,
You're a pussy,
Hey, no pussy on the plane,
No pussy calling on the plane,
Thanks honey, and thank you,
Watch her,
Aw, hey Brad, Brad,
Oh my God, Brad,
Hey, stop stop,
Brad?
Ma'am you talk too much,
what you need to do is sit down,
My God just sit in your seat,
Welcome to King of the Sky, Viet Kong Airways,
This is Pookie, my service dog,
Wait, that dog dead,
Dead?
He can still provide a service,
Is this plane going to Viet Nam?
Father,
welcome on board,
Thank you,
Yes,
this plane goes to Ho Chi Minh City,
Oh good good,
But it's non-smoking flight,
You don't know that?
Here,
Thank you,
Father, forgive me for,
I have sinned, not once but twice, for more,
Good for you,
I need to sit down,
Okay, go,
I'm a little dizzy,
Brad,
I feel kind of dirty,
About what?
Taking your seat wife,
Oh, she's not my wife,
She is my, she's my secretary,
She works for me,
I don't like to mix business with pleasure,
Unless pleasure is your business,
Yeah,
This is Captain Houdee,
Welcome to Viet Kong Airways, flight 665,
This is the farewell flight of this Boeing 727,
If it isn't Boeing, I ain't going,
so consider yourselves the lucky ones,
I've been flying this old bird for 27 years,
and she's got a nearly spotless record,
Nearly?
So relax, and enjoy your flight,
Would you like to read a magazine with mommy?
Everything okay, ma'am?
What's wrong?
Nothing,
Enjoy,
Release the brakes,
Aye aye, Captain,
Hit it again?
Want drink?
Scotch, neat,
I have something neat,
A beer,
You want something?
Oh, just a hot water, please,
I brought my own tea,
Here,
Namaste,
Who you calling nasty?
It mean, I bow to you,
Hey,
Excuse me,
I'm sorry,
I don't remember anyone sitting there,
Must've fallen asleep,
Where would I go, silly?
I'm your travel buddy,
Say, you want to play a round,
What did you have in mind, gin rummy?
Ouja,
Oh, hey Matt Damon,
So sweet,
What would you like?
I want a milk,
Here you go,
What would you like?
Same,
O,
G,
A,
R,
V, ooo, A,
N, Garvan,
Who the heck is Garvan?
You know this thing usually works,
It told me when my high school boyfriend was gonna die,
Honey, you drink?
Yes please, Diet Coke with just a little bit of ice
and a flexy straw,
I don't want to mess up my lipstick,
Thank you,
And a straw?
What do I look like, Denny?
Who's Denny?
No straw,
Drink, mister?
Coffee, black please,
No black coffee, just coffee no milk,
That is black coffee,
Look I just told you, we don't have black coffee,
so which is it then?
Coffee, without milk,
So not black then, yes,
Yes, I mean no,
Make up your mind, I have to make rounds,
Never mind, you're confusing me,
Bring me a Mary, Bloody,
Okay, you got,
- One Virgin Mary, Bloody, - Veronica,
Hello, Veronica,
I'm Father Romero,
Pleasure to meet you, Father Romero,
I know all about you guys,
You do?
Mm-hmm, I'm a fallen Catholic, myself,
So I know how it all works,
I do something bad, I go to confession,
They tell me to put money in the basket,
and say some prayers, and then I don't go to hell,
Some racket, huh?
I'll bet hell is a ton of fun,
It's probably where all the cool people go,
I mean who really wants to go to heaven
with a bunch of blue-haired bingo players,
and boring guys like you,
No offense, Father,
No, none taken,
Just remember to keep a soft place in your heart
for the almighty,
My heart's rock hard, feel,
That's pretty hard,
Mm-hmm,
You should really massage those puppies,
You know, my plastic surgeon said the same thing,
And my mom's boyfriend,
So why are you going to Vietnam?
Oh, vaginal rejuvenation,
Is that like a yoga retreat?
No silly, see?
Oh my God,
The doctor there's the best in the world,
Says he's gonna make me tighter
than a Chinese finger puzzle,
Hey, you think that dog in first class in dead?
Veronica,
Father Romero,
Could I have another peek?
Of course,
Thang?
Thang, come here,
What, what?
Take a look at this,
Look,
- Oh! - Look,
Holy shit,
Medical marijuana?
No,
Hey, sure smells like hippy lettuce to me,
Hippy lettuce?
You know, ganja, happy tobacky, Mary jane, boo ya,
- Boo ya, - Boo ya, boo ya,
It cannabis sativa tea,
I grow it myself,
You try some?
No, no no,
I'll stick with this warm beer for now,
I'm gonna go to the shitter,
Go, in peace,
Oh yeah, I'm gonna peace me a river,
Hey hey hey,
I'm deaf, I'm deaf!
Oh, all right,
I'm taking dinner order,
Chicken or beef?
Chicken please,
Chicken or beef?
Oh my goodness, you're having the chicken?
I'll have the chicken, that sounds delicious,
Thank you, so easy,
Excuse me sir, I'm taking dinner order,
Chicken or beef?
Ah, just sleeping, so sweet,
Your grandmother told me you want beef,
Hello ma'am,
Hi,
Chicken or beef?
Yeah, did I stutter?
I am vegan,
I don't recall anybody reserved the vegan order
for this seat,
Yeah, and that's because
this was a last-minute seat,
Okay, I make sure myself,
I'll find one, just for you,
Thank you,
That fucking bitch, drive me absolutely nuts,
Do you have anything, that's not breathing?
Yeah, you,
- Fuck you, - Fuck you!
Go find something,
Okay, I look,
Oh she drives me crazy,
Ah, we had something greenish,
but I don't think it meat,
I can't read the date,
Go ahead, make it hot, make it hot hot,
motherfucker,
Die!
Motherfucker,
Don't even come near me,
Your mother sucks cock,
This your little boy?
I'm sorry, my son doesn't mean what he's saying,
Bloody mother
How long has he been talking in tongues?
Dukie can't control himself,
He has Tourette Syndrome,
Jackass,
Eat my ass,
Oh, Tourette's, my God,
My bad,
For a minute I thought he was possessed,
So did I, it happens,
Whore!
Some fuckin' twat!
Cunt,
What happened?
Everything okay?
Yes, thank you for your concern,
May I have a towel,
I think I'm gonna breastfeed him,
It will calm him down,
Amanda?
We need towel for baby lady,
Thank you,
- Hey there, - Hi,
What you need towel for?
A towel, I'm gonna breastfeed him,
So he'll stop screaming,
Will that be okay?
It's okay,
I can help you,
Okay, I was gonna have a towel,
just so that, you don't care?
I don't care,
Will you block me, then?
Yeah, sure,
And I really don't care,
Come on baby, I know you must be hungry,
It's been a long time since we've eaten,
Oh my God, anybody smoke in here,
No, no, it's occupied,
Hey, who's smokin', I'm not smokin',
Holy shit!
Take it easy!
Christ, what now?
I don't want to die,
You look like I bake a cake,
but I didn't eat it,
What is this?
What take so long?
Something wrong with me?
No,
Do I still look pretty?
Yes,
Yeah, you look good,
Kinda ashy, but,
Okay, give me hug,
Okay,
Okay, that enough, that's okay,
Okay,
You gonna use it?
God,
What a nightmare,
Yeah, what a nightmare,
Quick quick, cook cook,
Okay,
Not done yet,
Oh wait, it's done,
I don't think you want to check that,
Shhh,
Viet Kong Airways, fat-free, sugar-free,
bleeding-free, gluten-free, everything-free,
pea pea souffle,
The finest, just for the eyeball lady,
Ha ha,
Finally, man,
I'm starving, I could eat a horse,
A vegan horse that is,
Thank you,
We serve the peas,
Airplane always enjoy it,
Let me check you,
Oh, big eyeball,
I love white men,
What are you eating?
Oh this is a kosher meal,
Looks like a chicken breast to me,
Well, yes it is,
Any meat can be kosher,
It just means that according to the Torah,
the animal was slaughtered in a way that was not painful,
during, before death, or during death, at any time,
There's a lot of fuckin' rules of course,
but it's kosher,
Is ball-handling okay?
Is that kosher?
Sorry to wake you folks, this is your captain,
It's looks like we've had a little turbulence,
Please keep your seatbelts fastened,
What?
I don't know, I was sleeping,
Oh, the bungee drop?
No!
Oh my God,
I'm excited too,
Hail Mary, full of grace,
Do you ever wonder why you're still a copilot?
- Don't go there, - Sorry folks,
that was a little bouncy,
It might freak a few of you out but,
we're in one piece,
And we're continuing on to Vietnam,
through the Bikini Triangle,
Bikini!
Triangle!
Where are you from?
Don't tell me, The Vatican?
You okay, honey?
Maybe if you're lucky,
you can catch the lightning from your window,
Mom!
What?
Stop being silly, let mama sleep,
There's something on the wing of the plane,
What now Dukie?
He's out there,
Stop this now, Dukie,
It's not funny,
Act your age,
No,
I want into the depths of hell,
- Die mommy, die! - Dukie, keep still,
Die mommy, die!
How do you like me now, bitches?
That's not the rips,
Lucifer,
I command you, release this soul,
The Father commands you,
Christ the Son commands you,
Father himself commands you,
Be gone,
into the fires of hell,
for all eternity,
Baby, baby,
What happened to you?
What did you do to him?
He's just a little boy,
He was possessed by the entity of the dark world,
An entity?
Yes, but I exorcized it,
Your boy is safe now,
Hey everyone, go back to your seats,
It was a medical thing,
It's okay,
You all go back to your seats,
He's fine, he was possessed,
You are,
He's fine now,
Possessed?
My baby,
You need to breast feeding him,
Yes,
This ain't over,
Because you're a baby honey,
Americans, trouble,
Because they won't calm down,
Oh my God!
John Wayne, I'm John Wayne,
You have to leave,
Go go go go go,
Father, are you waiting for me?
You go sit in your seat, and stay there, go!
How do I get into the plane's storage compartment?
Storage compartment?
You're out of your fucking mind,
Everybody on board is in grave danger,
Americans, always trouble,
Big troublemakers,
Like America, grab 'em by the pussy,
No pussy, I'm not grabbin' anybody's pussy,
Big trouble now,
You sit in your seat,
May God have mercy on your soul,
You're a very bad girl,
Just for you,
I'm a bad girl,
You sit there, no move,
Thank you,
She's so feisty,
You want some prune juice,
I can find out if they have prune juice,
Will you shut up!
I'm sorry,
I thought this was the armrest,
You don't have to apologize, you can,
press it there as long as you want,
So,
are you a member of the club?
What club?
You know, that club,
That club?
No,
Are you nervous about your secretary?
What do you care about that?
Follow me,
Knock three times,
Okay,
Oh hey,
Brad,
Hi honey,
I miss you baby, come here,
I need a kiss from you,
I just had peanuts,
and so I smell like perfume, peanuts, mm-mm,
Okay, well fine,
I tried anyway,
You know what sweetie, just lie back,
you've got those eye covers,
and put the earphones in,
Just relax, okay?
We'll be there in no time,
Nighty-night,
Goodnight, sweetheart,
Club done?
Is there a way to club?
You're so hot,
Oh wow, right away, huh?
Gettin' right to it,
Oh my God,
it fits right in there, huh?
Oh my God,
Oh, oh,
Oh my God, that burns,
Please stop,
I hope you enjoyed this hot piece of ass,
Oh mommy,
I shouldn't have cheated,
I'm dying, I'm dying,
Oh shit,
What you do?
It was an accident,
She fell and hit her head,
I smell smoke,
Somebody smoking,
No, she was possessed,
They were possessed,
There's something evil on this plane,
Quit that,
But just not that tight,
Listen to me, we're all gonna die
if I don't get into the luggage department,
Father, why you Americans always yell at me,
Everybody yell at me,
Please Amanda, I need your help,
Father, nobody say please to me,
Please say it again,
Please,
Oh I like therapy,
Get a room!
You expect me to figure this out,
Thang, listen,
when we get the body away, you clean all the mess,
Okay?
Come on,
Sorry,
There nothing left,
Baby baby, relax,
Take you to heaven,
Let's keep this hush-hush,
We mustn't start a panic with the other passengers,
Okay, Father,
Gentle, gentle,
Isn't there somewhere else we can put the body?
Like a storage compartment?
Father, she paid for the seat,
and she staying there,
There are rules,
But that's when she was alive, now she's a corpse,
Father, there's no more space left,
She paid for the seat,
I mean, listen to me okay, you shut up,
I need help, I can't clean it up by myself,
Oh my God!
What is this, go go!
Father, we clean it,
clean it,
You gonna get punished,
Boy those steroids really put you to sleep,
What the hell are you doing?
I'm going to the bathroom,
Damn, can't a man get some sleep around here?
Come on man,
What the hell happened to her?
Shh,
What?
Shh, it's complicated,
What?
It's complicated,
What?
Come sit down, sit down,
I'm Rabbi Feldman, by the way,
How can I help you, Father?
Have you ever witnessed an exorcism?
Not really my field of expertise,
Mostly brises and bar mitzvahs,
But they can be hell,
Unfortunately, Jews don't go in much for exorcisms,
but I'll do what I can to help, Father,
Satan is very powerful, and cunning,
We'll need to work together,
The entity will show itself again,
But where, we don't know,
Well how can you be certain it will strike again?
Because I brought Garvan's body on board
when I checked in,
Who is Garvan?
I served as an Army Chaplain in Nam,
This young mother
who saw that I was a priest and,
begged for my help,
Her daughter was screaming, and going crazy,
Our platoon leader, Lieutenant Garvan and I,
entered the hut,
On the floor were two dead US Marines
with their heads twisted on backwards,
And that's when Garvan snapped,
The mother threw herself
over the little girl to protect her,
That's when Garvan stabbed her in the back
with his bayonet,
Garvan was distracted by the girl,
as her possession rose,
her eyes rolled back in her head,
He shot her, in the heart,
What a terrible story,
What happened to the entity, and the little girl?
I don't remember much more after that,
I ran, bombs were going off,
Bullets over my head,
Bodies exploding, and then I saw Garvan,
standing over me, with his gun,
And he shot me, in the head,
Right there,
No, there,
Yes yes,
Looks like a bird made a poo-poo,
I was barely alive when they medevaced me back
to the base hospital,
when I fell into a coma for five years,
You were in a coma for five years?
And then a miracle happened,
I woke up with a metal plate in my head,
with amnesia and PTSD,
It took me a year and half
to learn how to walk and talk again, without drooling,
I never told anyone that story before,
Well,
you are a very lucky man,
Yeah, but I don't think so good anymore,
I have these terrible headaches,
Keeps me awake at night,
Things get so twisted around in my brain,
I forget what I'm doing half the time,
They give me pills to help me sleep,
for anxiety, for the pain,
It doesn't work because I forget to take them,
and when I take them, it makes me aggressive,
and horny, and suicidal,
So why are you going to Vietnam?
Timeshare,
Oh,
How did you like your pea souffle?
Oh, I don't feel so good,
I think I'm gonna throw up,
In the barf bag,
I don't have one,
Oh God!
We need barf bag fast!
This is an emergency,
Sorry to wake you up, but we need a barf bag,
Anybody got one?
Honey move,
The seat in front of you,
We need emergency, hurry, wake up,
Anybody got it?
Got it?
Pass it by,
Come on, quick, fast,
Everybody, anybody find one?
No no, hold it in,
We found one,
Got it,
Holy shit!
I feel so much better,
Cute, you should keep that look,
I'll have the beef,
Okay,
Get back to sleep,
I knew that woman was trouble
as soon as I saw her armpit hair,
Oh!
Stop, stop, oh wait,
Wait, here,
You need one of these,
Missus Montegue's moist towelettes,
That's my family,
Okay,
Puppy!
Oh my God, it's a miracle,
Pookie, come on Pookie,
Come back, you little shit,
God damn it, I knew I should have,
Come on, come on, come on, bad dog,
Come on,
I'm gonna rip your balls off,
Pookie, stop it,
Stop it, stop,
Whoa,
Pookie, come here,
God damn it, Pookie,
Come on,
Pookie?
Pookie!
Get this fuckin' thing off me,
Oh, Lord forgive me,
Oh Pookie!
I am never buying another, whatever you are, again,
Pookie?
Lady, bitch,
We got a mongrel running around here,
Wake up lady,
this is nice glass champagne,
Oh, Thang, come back here,
Is it real?
Oh God, it's real,
I think I'm gonna have this baby,
Can you wait a couple of hours to start?
Son of a bitch!
She's having a devil baby!
She's having Garvan's baby,
Who?
She's having Garvan's baby,
Oh, Garvan's baby,
What?
The body of Christ compels you,
It's coming out!
Hurry, get him into the bathroom,
Go, go,
Come on, come on, come on,
Come on, let's go!
What?
What's going on?
That little bitch bit my ear!
Put him up here, right in here,
This flight's gonna kill me,
Does anyone have a plunger?
How about some Draino?
Oy, he's still in there,
I flushed it, I flushed it,
Look, it's gone,
Boy,
that smelled like my Uncle Morey after Satyr dinner,
Three gefilte fish,
Woo,
Wow,
Do you think it's over, Father?
Not until we destroy the entity down below,
Father, I'm sorry to disturb you,
It's all right, it's all right,
I'm just trying to save everyone from hell and damnation,
I'm scared,
I don't want to die,
I don't want to be possessed either,
Looks gross, you know?
Who's gonna pay to see that?
But I believe now,
or at the very least I believe in Satan,
and I want to believe in God,
Please, could you help me pray?
Well, what you've said
is already a prayer to God,
Okay,
I want to confess my sins, Father,
and I've got a lot,
- When I was 13 my, - Veronica please,
- Veronica, I don't have time, - When I was 13,
my step-daddy took my cherry,
But you know what, I kind of led him on,
And then in high school there was the football team,
the B squad, you know the A squad, they're all jerks,
I stole money from the coffers,
but not for anything like insidious,
just a little bit of ecstasy that Freddy Baker,
that his brother brought back from Florida,
Then there was Father Flanagan,
and I didn't leave that one on, a lot,
And then there was Sister Constance, you know,
'cause I'm open-minded,
and then, oh Father, 20 minutes ago
I gave the big muscly guy a blow job,
I think he ejaculated protein shake mix in my hair,
It was like strawberry, which I've had worse,
Father, please tell me, do you think,
do you think that Jesus Christ
could forgive a beautiful blonde terpsacorian
from Sandusky, Ohio on her way to Pokemon, Vietnam
to get vaginal rejuvenation, or is that just ridiculous?
I think you need to stay off your knees, Veronica,
I really have to pee,
Yes, all right,
Father, Father, I want to confess,
I want to confess, Father,
No please,
I can't take, I can't take any more confessions,
I just don't have the time,
so please, in the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Spirit,
go back to your seats and say 50 Hail Mary's, backwards,
Thank you,
What an asshole!
Last time, Amanda,
I need to get down to the god damn luggage compartment,
You're upset with luggage compartment,
No, the demon is down below,
The source is down below,
We're all gonna die,
Just say, please,
Please Amanda, let me enter the luggage compartment,
There, where?
Go here,
Open the cockpit,
Open the,,,
This is it,
Go Father, here,
Okay,
I know you're down here, Garvan,
Where are ya, ya son of a bitch,
Come on out,
Oh my God!
He's gone,
Gone,
No, Feldman,
No, Garvan,
No, Feldman,
Garvan,
Hey, Father Romero,
How's he hangin'?
I'm gonna send you back to hell, you miserable bastard,
Really?
I belong in hell?
Absolutely,
You want to get so funny?
When you're surrounded by 72 virgins,
That's fire and brimstone,
Sorry,
What are you gonna do Rabbi, guilt me to death?
The power of modus compels you,
Hey, that hurts you know,
By the way, that was kind of mean of you,
I want to tell you one thing,
I'm gonna kill everybody on this fuckin' plane,
You've lost your faith, you cocksucker,
God is the everlasting light,
It is God who commands you,
You're no match for me!
Forgive me Father,
for I have sinned,
Oh fuck you,
Father?
Father, wake up,
Wake up, what I'm I gonna do?
I thought you were dead,
Come here,
What's going on?
My God, you're alive!
We thought you were dead,
I had to drag your body up from the luggage compartment,
one step at a time,
You're a lot heavier than you look,
What happened?
Where am I?
Who are you people?
Father, you're on a plane,
You Americans always think you're better than yourself,
I put faith in you, but you let me down,
How am I gonna explain to all the passengers
that paid for the seat,
and the chaos you created for us, huh?
How?
Listen, don't go all demon on us,
I don't have the right to save you,
Now I remember,
Yeah, I'm sorry,
What?
I can't do this,
What happened down there to you?
I'm a failure as a priest,
I'm a failure as a man,
I'm a lousy exorcist,
I'm worthless in the eyes of God,
How could it be,
that while you've spent your life helping others,
forgiving them of their sins,
you haven't forgiven yourself,
For the first time, the truth's right,
Father, you should forgive yourself, as a old man,
You're not a hero,
You need a pretty lady, like me,
to smooch, smash, and make sweet love,
Look,
I guess, I've been angry,
I've been angry,
and I guess I've hated myself
and God, since the Vietnam War,
But the only way
is to have the world and its errors forgiven by you,
so we can all forgive together,
I realize that now,
You need pussy,
She's right,
I feel better now,
Good,
Okay, listen,
We have a lot of work to do, let's pray,
Okay,
But first,
I need to piss like a racehorse,
Help!
I command you,
be gone!
I'll eat your heart out, priest,
Where's your holy water?
I don't have it,
I heard you the first time,
What did you spray on him?
Napalm spray, I got in Vietnam,
I always keep it in my tights, just in case,
To keep the bad boys away,
Come with me, Amanda, come,
Where in the hell's the priest goin'?
It's the pills,
Makes him angry, horny, and suicidal,
By the way, he's the one
that brought the demon on the plane,
Jesus H Christ!
What?
What!
Birds!
Come on, man,
You were in Vietnam, during the war?
I grew up on the street,
And the boys school,
You were a boy back then?
Yes,
Shh,
I'm a girl now,
Do I look pretty?
Very pretty,
Where did you live in Vietnam?
It was called Chu Chi in Saigon,
That's where my mother was killed,
by American soldier,
Chu Chi?
I can't be,
Dao?
How did you know my name?
I was there, in the hut,
You killed my mother?
No, I tried to stop him,
I wanted to help your sister, she was possessed,
Is American,
No,
No, you're lying,
I don't believe you,
You're lying!
I remember the last words your mother spoke,
before she died,
She said, "Run Dao, run,"
And then you ran out of the hut, escaped,
I want to kill you,
What can you do to change it?
How can you live with that thing?
You acting like American,
You're the reason why I'm going back to Vietnam,
To bring Garvan's body back,
so we can destroy it together,
You brought me a corpse?
That's a shitty deal,
I know,
Then I wasn't thinking,
And now the demon is loose on this plane,
Now, thanks to you we're all gonna die on this plane,
Not if I can help it,
I mean this may sound crazy but,
hell is at the center of the Earth, right?
If there is a hell,
Assuming there is,
the further we fly from the hot core of the Earth,
more unlikely it will be
that the demon can reach us,
We need to convince the captain
to fly higher, into the colder temperatures,
and maybe that way we can go above the demon's jurisdiction,
I don't know, it sounds crazy enough to make sense,
Or it will kill everyone,
All our lives are in your hands,
Captain?
Hey!
I need your help,
You can't come in here,
Now, get out,
I told them,
Captain, these two men told me that you can help us
get rid of the demon,
Demon?
What demon?
In the luggage compartment,
There's a demon?
In the luggage compartment?
Would that be a metaphor?
No, this is nuts,
Get the fuck outta my cockpit,
Hello, boys,
And girl,
Whatever you are,
Jesus, what the fuck was that?
The meanest passenger you've ever seen,
Captain, many horrible deaths,
He's telling the truth,
I wouldn't have believed it myself,
but there's an evil entity,
and it's infecting the passengers,
And it's spreading like at evil fart,
You farted, you fuckin' just farted, you
piece of shit,
It stinks man,
I didn't do it,
Don't fart in public, go,
Wipe your ass,
What do you want me to do?
Increase your altitude,
What good would that do?
It'll freeze him out,
How high can this plane fly?
40,000 feet, max,
50,000?
We come apart,
And higher?
What?
And higher?
Oh, the passengers would freeze to death,
and we'd turn to ice shards,
Take us to 60,000,
You out of your freakin' mind?
No!
No, that would be suicide,
How would you prefer to,,,
Suicide!
How would you prefer to die?
Exploding into shards of ice,
or possessed and dragged through hell?
For all of eternity,
Give me a moment,
Shards?
I think I'll take the demon,
being dragged through hell for all of eternity,
But I will have a side of shards,
Captain, we must try,
I have one last procedure left,
I don't want to die as a man,
Do you understand?
Snip, snip,
Snip, snip snip,
Snip,
Please?
You know, I was savin' this
till we landed, but,
Let me have a little of that,
Thank you,
No no no,
Please please?
Please?
Amanda, make an announcement to the passengers,
that we are changing course,
and we're going to the moon,
Yes, Captain,
Thank you,
We're going to the moon,
Reckon she's already on the moon,
Here, have a slug,
Thanks,
Go for it,
Thank you, Father Hog,
All right,
we'd better hang on,
Give her hell,
47, pull back a little bit more, a little more,
He can't fake this,
Don't hit stall speed,
Lower the nose just a hair,
All right, there we go,
Here we go,
This son of a bitch should fall apart right about now,
And?
Fuck,
Hoo, let's hang a right,
Hocus pocus steady steady, steady,
We're at 50,000,
Don't stall it, don't stall it!
We're almost there, we're almost there,
Where?
Oh come on,
60!
Hear that?
Yeah, what's that?
Lower the nose,
Come on, he's still alive,
No, down,
Oh my God, part of my knee is in my mouth,
Oh man,
Come on, higher man,
Knock this son of a bitch out,
Slow that nose speed,
I feel like a bobblehead,
You good?
Yeah, we're good,
Level out, level out, level out,
Oh shit,
We're wrong about this plan,
Shit,
We made it,
We need to serve some drinks and some booze,
Warm up the people,
May God have mercy,
Amanda?
Amanda come here like I told you,
That's the holiest thing I've ever seen,
Thang?
Huh?
Vagina shining with light,
I want one like that,
Flexing keep you warm,
More power, more power,
Almost done,
I will fear no evil,
Thy rod and thy staff, comforts me,
Let's sit right here,
Drink one of these, it's hot,
Hi, pretty lady,
I'm sorry so cold,
You're so beautiful,
I admire you,
Would you like to have a drink, keep you warm?
Oh no, we don't drink,
Your loss, bitch,
I'll pray for you,
Flying at 60,000 feet didn't work,
nor did holy water,
I don't know what else to do,
Perhaps your holy water isn't strong enough,
What?
I know ancient Vietnamese witch doctor potion,
for possession,
Well why didn't you say so earlier?
No one asked,
You keep a secret from me?
What's the ingredients to the magic potion?
Okay, first is pubic hair of virgin,
What?
How do you expect?
I got one,
Forgive me Father,
for I have sinned,
They're possessed,
They are possessed, aren't they?
Of course, they're possessed,
The entity is getting stronger, multiplying,
Soon everyone on the plane is gonna be infected,
You see that over there?
The green mist,
It's gotten into the ventilation system,
Okay, if it's everywhere, how do we stop it?
Thang's magic potion,
We put it into the air-con system,
flush the entity out, and save the passengers,
Okay, how do we do that?
Ventilation system,
he can breathe it from the ventilation system,
Ah, that's my boy,
My girl!
Hey, let's make the magic potion,
Come on,
But,
not with the virgin, the hair,
You got them,
Jesus Christ,
That's hot,
Come on, let's go,
God, it's hot now,
What's on the shopping list,
Hair of the dog,
Relax,
Is enough?
Next, a human bone,
I got it,
Sorry,
People will leave hell because of you,
The bone,
Yeah,
And, what's next?
Next, eye of newt,
Okay, got it,
I'm terribly sorry,
This one?
What's that for?
Eye of newt,
Close enough, now mix,
Pour it into the air vent,
There,
Sorry sorry sorry,
Good?
Smells like ass,
Now I make announcement,
Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
this is Amanda, don't panic,
Please, don't panic,
It's show time!
Happy new years losers,
Watch out, he's got a bomb,
I must warn you, Hercules,
I'm a trained assassin, with the,,,
Don't look him in the eye,
What?
Don't look him in the eye,
It's hell, Doctor John Wayne,
What's goin' on?
You are in,
Feldman, god damn it!
You're on my balls,
What?
You're on my balls,
Oh I thought you said boils,
God damn it Feldman, open this god damn door,
What?
I said open the door, Feldman,
Why didn't you say so?
What's wrong with you?
The hearing,
What happened to him?
I don't know, I think it's boils,
Open the door!
I'm gonna make sweeping the hall,
Please don't,
Go go go go,
Holy shit, fuck you, you big macho son of a bitch,
Look!
There's an airfield,
What the hell?
It's the pits, it's the pits,
Captain?
Can you fly this plane?
I can fly this plane
with my head turned backwards,
But who needs a head?
Captain!
Who's gonna fly the plane?
I will,
You know how to fly a commercial airliner?
Better than a headless Captain,
Why is Carrie Bellson in my bathrobe?
He's still alive,
Good good, maybe he can help me land this thing,
72 virgins,
Talk to the controller,
Don't let him fall asleep,
Turn the steering left
until you see the number on that dial hit 7-6-0,
Then you flip that blue switch on the lower right there,
That will lower the flaps,
What do we do now?
How far are we from the airport?
We're 10 miles away,
Lower landing gear,
Landing gear,
Lower the gear,
Going in for a landing,
You're going to descend,
We did it!
I pooped my pants,
Is that what that is?
Vietnam,
I'm back,
It's a miracle,
We landed,
Oy,
- We landed, - Father,
Poor Buzz, he didn't make it,
I'm not dead though,
He's the real hero,
Yes, why?
And everyone else on this plane who died,
Lot of people,
Lot of people, I can't remember all their names,
You know Father, for an American, you not so bad,
Oh, thanks Thang,
You slanted-eyed devil,
You're not so bad yourself,
Father?
Yeah,
- And you? - Yeah,
I don't care if you're gay,
You have great heart,
and thank you for saving our lives,
Okay,
I'm outta here,
She's right,
When you're right you're right,
I've got another demon to exorcize,
In the bathroom?
Want to play with my little friend,
You little shit,
I pumped out bigger turds than you,
No wonder the toilet was so clogged,
Wanna play catch?
Smell like poop,
I'm not gonna clean that up,
Good morning, Vietnam,
I will never fly economy again,
Talk about hell,
Be gone,
Ah crap,
Oy, here we go again,
How's this?
What?
Isn't he fun?
Hear I'm vegan,
Oh mommy,
Jesus H Christ!
I'll have the beef,
I really don't feel that bad,
That's weird,
Captain Houdee?
Whatever,
Fuck it, he's gone,
Yeah, okay,
Shit!
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