[SLOW PACED MUSIC]
[SLOW ROCK MUSIC]
[RUSHING WATERS]
[ALARM BEEPING] [ANNA GROANING]
ANNA: Good morning Mom,
♪ I'm gonna get you out ♪ ♪ I'm gonna get you out ♪
♪ Watch me get inside of your mind ♪
♪ I'm gonna get you out ♪ [WOMAN MOANING]
♪ I'm gonna get you ♪ [WALLS THUDDING]
WOMAN: Yeah!
I can't believe this is the fifth time this morning!
Oh! Oh!
Shit, [WOMAN SCREAMING]
WOMAN: Oh!
Oh, oh yeah!
[TITLE SLAMS]
[RUSHING WINDS]
[TRUCK BEEPING] [METAL CLANKING]
Hey! No, wait, wait!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Please!
Hey! Oh my God!
Hey man, what are you doing?
You know, it's a funny thing about cars lady,
you actually have to pay for them,
Please don't do this, I really need my car to get to work,
I don't know what to tell you,
Oh, come on, I'm sure we can work something out,
Look, I have two,
I can show you my boobs!
Yes you could,
but unless there's $1,000 attached to each nipple,
I'm still gonna have to take your car,
Move it out!
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Shit!
Hey Marnie, sorry I'm late,
It's okay,
Oh, did you walk here?
Yeah,
Way better for the environment,
You drive a Prius,
Yeah, not anymore,
♪ Hey ♪
[UPBEAT MUSIC] Officer: Hey, stop!
Freeze! [HEAVY BREATHING]
Bam! [BODY THUDS]
Ha!
Got your drugs!
Where you been?
You need to work out more,
Out of respect to your family I warned you not to sell drugs on my beat,
and now I hear you're dealing in a goddamn middle school!
It was just a little money, who are you, Mother Teresa?
Mother Teresa would pistol whip the shit out of you right now!
My Mom's gonna hear about this!
Oh, well you can tell ugly Betty,
if she has an issue with it,
she knows where to find me! [DOOR SLAMS]
Coffee?
I'm not asking you,
Just pondering out loud to see if I want some,
And I think I do,
♪ Now I thinking ♪ [SIRENS BEEPING]
ANNA: Oh man,
My last quarter was way worse than I thought,
Ooh, ooh, ooh, there's this one in Chile,
Listen, it's like regular bungee jumping,
except you jump out of a helicopter into an active volcano,
Red pens, I'm gonna need a lot more red pens,
What do you think?
Anna!
What?
What do I think about volcano bungee jumping?
CHARLEEN: Yeah,
I think it's literally the worst idea I've ever heard of,
Well, you gotta do something to get out of this funk,
[DOORBELL JINGLES]
That's right, undress him with your eyes,
Peel off that spandex,
Slap that-
- Stop, that's not what I'm doing,
I'm just shocked we have a customer,
Oh my goodness,
Lance humpstrong totally wants to toy your friends,
Girl, that man shorts are so tight,
you can see that his little dude
is also wearing a tiny bike helmet,
[CHARLEEN LAUGHS]
Girl, he's still looking at you, Look over your right shoulder, casually,
- Yeah, - Casual, casual,
CHARLEEN: He could be the one to end
your epic streak of sexual futility,
It's self-imposed abstinence,
Mm-hm,
What happened to the old self-confidence?
I mean, look at me, I'm a six, seven and a half tops,
And I'm up to my vagina in pussy
because of self-confidence!
Case in point, Your new barista, Marnie,
Mm-hm, I'm going to have her,
I don't know anything about her,
I don't even know if she's straight or not,
but I'm gonna make that girl yell so loud,
only dogs are gonna be able to hear it,
You're sick,
Look, you see how fast I was with my tongue?
[CHARLEEN BABBLES]
Charleen, put that thing away,
It's hard enough to lure customers in as it is,
I'm like the Flash with this thing!
I'm gonna set her pubes on fire,
Oh my God,
All right, crime's not gonna fight itself!
Ain't that right girlie?
[DOORBELL JINGLES]
[CHARLEEN HUMMING]
Ha! [PHONE RINGING]
ED: Hey sweetie,
ANNA: Hey Dad, I'm passing by your place,
so I'm gonna come check on you,
ED: Okay, why don't you meet me in the backyard,
[GENTLE MUSIC]
Here we go,
- Bottoms up, - Thanks,
I went by Mom's grave tonight before coming here,
- Saw your flowers, - Yeah,
Nine months today, hard to believe, huh?
You do remember that Mom hated Gerberas, right?
Yeah, but I love 'em,
- To Mary, to your Mom, - To Mom,
[MOSQUITO BUZZING]
Why don't we take this inside, Dad? I feel like I'm being eaten alive,
Um,
It's such a gorgeous night, why don't we just stay out here?
Gorgeous? Who are you?
More importantly, how are you?
Oh, well, my business is in the toilet,
I can barely pay my bills,
Today my car got repossessed,
but other than that, I'm amazing,
I just feel like I'm failing her,
Like I'm failing her memory,
[GLASS SHATTERS]
- Is there someone inside? - A cat,
- A cat? - Cat,
ANNA: When did you get a cat?
- You hate cats, - Oh, I love cats,
You have a woman in there!
No, no, it's a cat,
You have a date tonight,
At least one of us has a social life,
- I wanna meet her, - Oh no, no, no,
No Anna, it's too soon,
Can I just introduce you at my own pace?
- ANNA: Seriously? - Yeah, the timing is horrible,
I understand,
ED: All right,
[ANNA LAUGHS]
Dad, what is the big deal?
- Oh, hi, - Oh Jesus!
ANNA: Who you are?
He's the plumber,
He's here to clean my pipes,
Honey, [CHUCKLES]
That did not come out the way it sounded in your head,
ANNA: Did Mom know you were gay?
Well, I mean bisexual, pansexual,
He likes a lot of things,
- Sexually fluid, - Sexually fluid,
- Wow, - Yeah [INDISTINCT],
When she passed away,
I felt comfortable enough to-
- Move about the cabin,
Okay, I'm confused,
I'm getting old,
Anna, I was depressed,
Tired of being alone, then I met Chuck,
I tell you, I haven't been this happy since,
well since Mom,
This is great,
I'm happy for you,
And I look forward to getting to know you better Chuck,
Call me Mom,
Okay, don't push it,
Chuck is good too,
I'm gonna head out
and let you two get back to
whatever it is you guys were doing,
[ANNA LAUGHS]
What is so funny?
How does this even work?
Oh honey,
it's like a Great Dane trying to mount a chihuahua,
Woof,
Oh,
[PHONE RINGING]
CHARLEEN: Hey, what's up Anna?
Coffee shop, now,
CHARLEEN: But I'm chillin'! What's going on?
Just trust me, [TENSE MUSIC]
[TENSE UPBEAT MUSIC]
[ANNA COUGHING]
Oh, that wasn't too pathetic,
Holy shit, that's potent,
Where'd you get it?
Evidence room,
You're like the worst cop ever,
Nah, So, pitcher or catcher?
ANNA: What?
Big gay Ed, is he a pitcher or is he the catcher?
Oh my God, I don't know,
[CHARLEEN LAUGHS] Knuckle baller for sure!
Ha! To your Dad!
Welcome to the team,
What is this?
Moonshine? Private blend,
Try it,
It'll put a little fire in your belly,
[ANNA SPITS] Oh my God!
That tastes like turpentine!
Oh, excuse me, Princess,
Wanna go next door and get you some Vodka!
Vodka,
No, no, I'm fine,
I should probably just go home,
I know you're hurting,
You're drowning in red ink, you miss your Mom,
and your Dad's probably swallowing the length
of some guy named Chuck as we speak,
But, you're my best friend,
we're gonna get through this together,
Are you stoned?
Like totally ripped!
Yeah, that's what I thought,
[WOMEN CHUCKLING]
Okay, let's get out of here,
All right, let me get my liquor and my drugs,
♪ Liquor and drugs ♪
[FIRE CRACKLING]
[RUSHING FIRE]
[CARS SCREECHING] [SIRENS WAILING]
[WATER POURING]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[CHARLEEN COUGHING]
Miss,
I have to send the report to the insurance company,
Do you have their contact information?
I don't have it,
You know what, don't worry about it, you can send that to us later,
And mind, you're in for a big payday, huh?
No, I don't have insurance,
Oh,
Well that's not good,
All right boys, let's wrap this up!
CHARLEEN: All right, I think it's time-
- To kill myself? - What?
No! To show you something, okay,
Your place tomorrow night, 7:00 PM,
Bring a pillowcase,
- What? - Do you trust me?
Of course not,
Good instincts,
[ANNA SIGHS]
ANNA: Shit,
Oh my God, [FIRETRUCK HONKING]
CHARLEEN: Are those flowers or vomit?
Look, it's the only one that was clean, Now what's this all about?
- Put it on, - What?
Pull it over your head, now!
If you're planning on taking advantage of me
at my lowest ebb, that is totally uncool,
You wish! Put it on,
Now follow me,
- Come on, - This is crazy,
CHARLEEN: Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to help you out
so you get your confidence back right,
[HEAD THUDS] Anna: Ow!
Sorry, that was on me, Come on, come on,
come on, Course it's on you,
ANNA: I'm wearing a pillowcase on my head!
[DOOR SLAMS]
[INDISTINCT SINGING]
♪ Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah ♪
♪ You can go from where I stand ♪
♪ Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah ♪
♪ Been there, take it ♪
♪ Must be pain ♪
[CIGARETTE SIZZLES]
[INDISTINCT SINGING]
Enough of this cloak and dagger shit, what's going on?
What's going on is you need a strong medicine
to snap you out of this funk that you're in,
It's time for you to come face to face
with who you are and what you're capable of,
BLONDE: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!
I can't stop shaking!
That's adrenaline, baby,
It's totally normal,
You got lots of it and it's good to get some fresh air
after your first time,
Come on,
- Here? - Get out of the car!
BLONDE: Is that my blood?
Well it's sure as shit ain't ketchup,
[WOMAN LAUGHING]
You think that you'll come back?
Hell yeah, that was better than sex,
You know what, go home,
take an Epsom salt bath, some ibuprofen,
you'll wake up tip top in the morning,
Okay, cool,
- Bye, - Bye,
CHARLEEN: There's my big Care Bear! What up baby!
- Hey! - Good to see bud,
Bear, this is Anna, Anna, Bear,
Hi,
I have been waiting for this moment,
It's so good to have you here, Anna, Come on in,
Okay, I like your nickname,
Oh, no nickname,
When I was born, my parents took one
look at me and thought Bear,
At least I lost most of that hair the first year,
[SLOW ROCK MUSIC] [CHARLEEN LAUGHS]
What is this place?
CHARLEEN: The answer to all your problems,
Here you go,
ANNA: Oh, okay, [women shouting]
WOMAN: Hey ladies,
Am I about to get murdered?
[WOMEN SHOUTING]
Ta-da!
What the fuck?
Ah shit!
- Olivia's gone up, - Oh shit,
Do yourself a favor, okay,
Stay off Olivia's radar,
Oh, okay yeah, sure, great,
Who's Olivia?
Her,
[FENCE CLANGING] Fight, fight!
[WOMAN GRUNTING]
Are you kidding me?
Woo! Yup, yup!
- Yup, yup! - You know the rules Olivia!
No fights without a ref!
No bill on the wall for this fight, okay!
Blow me, Bear!
Oh, I'd fucking break your fingers,
Noel, you're up!
Cool, huh?
Bear and I run this place,
We're here most weekends,
Okay ladies!
If you are not familiar with the rules,
you can strike with your fist, elbows, knees, feet,
even your head if you so fancy,
Who'd use their head in a fight?
Choke holds and submissions are totally welcome,
but please, no hair pulling, biting, eye gouging,
'Cause then you're being a bitch,
and that shit ain't cool!
To the center, fighters!
[WOMEN SHOUTING]
Fight!
[WOMEN GRUNTING] [BODIES THUDDING]
Ah, her arm! [BONES CRACKING]
Oh my God, stop it!
Come on girl, yeah!
BEAR: Winner! [winner cheering]
Yes!
What?
[WOMEN CHEERING] Oh, look,
Check this out,
[WALL THUDS]
That's the tradition,
The winner gets to put a dollar bill on the wall,
Seriously?
You know all about my problems
and you thought a fight club was the solution?
This isn't just a fight club, Anna, this is a shelter,
A safe haven for women to come
to lift the lid off the fucking pressure cooker of life
without societal judgment,
By beating the shit out of each other?
By respecting each other,
You fucked with the wrong family, Charleen!
Oh, I warned you and your goofy ass son,
If you wanna sell a little weed, that's fine,
Anything harder than that,
especially in the school, we're gonna have a problem,
Yeah, we do have a problem, and we're gonna solve it, tomorrow,
Me, you, in the ring,
You better bring some Charmin
'cause I'm going to wipe your ass all over this place,
- Oh really? - Yeah, really,
CHARLEEN: Well you can cancel your hysterectomy,
'cause I'm gonna hit you so hard, your vagina's gonna pop out,
Yeah, we'll see about that,
What we'll see is your cobweb ridden vagina
bouncing across the floor,
Whatever, you better get used to disappointment, bitch,
Cause it's coming,
You know what? How 'bout we raise the stakes, okay,
The loser has to leave the club for good,
Well, it looks like you're gonna be getting your weekends
and every other Thursday back bitch,
I'm coming for you,
That's a very specific insult bitch,
And that's you guys respecting each other, how?
Ah, she's just pissed I arrested her son yesterday,
We'll work it out,
By fighting each other?
Listen, we have rules, okay,
Usually we draw names, but somebody can challenge you,
And if you don't accept it, you're kicked out of the club for good,
I think I've heard enough, I'm going home for good now,
- Later, - Ip, ip, ip, ip,
What, you can't make me stay,
Nope, but Bear can,
Like Charleen said, Anna, we have rules,
And one of them is the first time you show up,
you have to fight,
So you have two choices,
You can either fight one of our other first timers,
or you can fight your way out the door past me,
- It's totally up to you, - Mm-hm,
Mm,
[WOMEN SHOUTING]
I've never been in a fight before Charleen, I hate fights!
That's exactly why you're here,
Come on, You know what this broad does?
She's a school librarian,
I mean, do they even have libraries anymore?
Hasn't she heard of the internet?
Come on man, look at her,
A strong breeze could knock her down,
Take it to her, come on!
Center stage ladies!
Let's go, come on,
Hi,
I'm Anna,
Carol, nice to meet you,
You too,
Oh, so sweet,
Maybe you guys could be friends later?
All right, you heard the rules,
You good with that?
Good luck,
- Yeah, you too Anna, - Okay,
BEAR: Okay, fighters, are you ready?
And fight!
[WOMEN SHOUTING]
Make a fist!
Swing!
At her!
Make a fist!
Fight, fight, fight, fight!
Hey, what's that?
What?
[CAROL GROWLS]
- Oh no! - Ooh!
Tap out! Are you gonna tap out?
What does tap out mean?
[SLOW RUSHING WINDS]
[WOMEN SHOUTING]
Anna!
My name is Dr, Park,
Do you know where you are?
Hell,
I'm in hell,
I'm guessing I lost, huh? [BODIES THUDDING]
Poland put up a bigger fight in World War II,
Yeah, but at least you fought, It took a lot of courage,
I guess I can cross that off my bucket list,
And then puke in that bucket,
I thought only women were allowed in here?
Dr, Roy is a special case,
and he's Bear's brother,
Your sister's name is Bear Park?
Trust me, no one's ever teased her about it,
Roy!
We got a girl that's got a little problem with her ear,
ROY: What kind of problem?
BEAR: It was just removed from her head,
[TECHNO MUSIC]
[GATE CLANKS]
Still don't understand why you'd bring me to this place,
Dude, just show her,
Show me what?
Welcome to the Bear cave,
Wow!
Well this is much cozier than the Roman Coliseum out there,
What?
Is that?
Is that, that's Mom,
Yup, she was a goddamn legend,
Legend?
[SLOW PACED MUSIC]
What the hell is going on?
CHARLEEN: This might help explain,
Come on, sit down,
[WOMEN SHOUTING]
[WOMEN GRUNTING]
Mom fought here?
She didn't just fight here,
she was the founder of this whole club,
This is Mary's last fight,
The cancer took her six months later,
I made this as a tribute,
so Mary could know how much she meant to us,
When I needed an emotional release,
I used to scream into my pillow,
This club is my new way of screaming real fucking loud!
This club truly gives me a place to express my rage, Thanks Mary,
Everything scared me in life,
But now that I face down real hurt and pain in this ring,
nothing in the real world remotely scares me anymore,
I promised myself I wouldn't cry,
So, here we go,
Mama Mayor, ah!
Here they come, [SLOW GENTLE MUSIC]
This club has allowed us to share our stories,
to fight it out and then hug it out,
So thank you for allowing me to let go of my anger
by letting go of my fist,
But also thank you for showing me that
underneath this big, hairy chest,
is an even bigger heart,
Stop looking at me!
Fuck,
When men punch each other, it's normal,
We women feel the same way,
but society has house trained us to cry our shit out,
But thanks to you, Mary, we get to say, fuck that,
You've helped me and a lot of other women
to find the strength to live our truth,
And don't worry, I'll take care of your baby girl,
And if you learn to fight,
and you never give up in the ring,
you will always beat the shit out of life,
And girls, never back down from anything,
Oh,
Why didn't you tell me about this?
How did she not tell me about this?
Therapist-patient confidentiality,
All of us were your Mom's patients,
and she was our therapist,
No one was meant to know about this place,
And sure, there's the new breed like Olivia who discovered us
and wants to change our ethos,
but Bear and I try to run this club
like your mother would have wanted,
And that's why I brought you here friend,
'cause you need this place just as much as her patients,
Oh, you guys, this is crazy,
I think you owe it to her to give this a shot,
She created a place that helped a lot of us,
I don't even know how to fight,
It would take a miracle worker to help me,
[CHARLEEN CHUCKLES] I think I may know just the guy,
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC] [CHARLEEN LAUGHS]
Eh?
Ooh!
[ANNA SIGHS]
[PEOPLE CHATTERING] [INDISTINCT ROCK SINGING]
So embarrassing, God,
Seriously, that's who you want to train me?
CHARLEEN: Mm-hm,
This is like the worst lip-syncing ever,
[MEN LAUGHING]
How do you know that guy?
Oh, I arrested him a few times,
You know, drunk and disorderly, public nudity, that sort of thing,
Oh! [CHARLEEN LAUGHS]
One time he ate his own underwear
'cause he thought the cotton fabric would absorb
the alcohol before he took a breathalyzer test,
- And did it work? - CHARLEEN: No!
Murphy trained Sugar Ray, you know,
Who was a world champion in like five different divisions,
I mean if the man who trained Sugar Ray
isn't good enough for you,
maybe you should quit before you begin,
Oh, okay, So you're telling me,
I shouldn't judge this particular book by
its very rum soaked cover?
Exactly,
I mean, look at you princess,
You are a book that I wanna take to bed
and read all night long,
- Oh, - But then you find out
CHARLEEN: the book's quite dark and depressing,
and currently lacking a shot at redemption,
So maybe this man could be the one to change the narrative,
Hey man, show us your tits! I got $1!
Come on, unbutton that!
Oh my God, he's doing it! He's doing it!
Keep going, keep going! Keep going, keep going!
- He's going, he's going! - Oh my God, he's fucking doing it!
He's doing it!
- Yeah, woo! - Keep going man!
[TABLE CLANGS]
Oh!
[CHARLEEN LAUGHS]
Shouldn't you call an ambulance or something?
Too soon,
That will happen at least three more times tonight,
Mm-hm,
[MURPHY LAUGHS]
Woo!
[SLOW PACED MUSIC]
If you learn to fight and you never give up in the ring,
you will always beat the shit out of life,
If you learn to fight and you never give up in the ring,
you will always beat the shit out of life,
And girls, never back down from anything,
[LAPTOP CLANGS]
- CHLOE: Another one out, - MAN: Thank You,
You made quite the display last night,
I don't think I've ever seen anyone take a dive from that height
and not spill a single drop of their drink,
Well, my drinking does defy gravity,
Have we met, I'm- Murphy,
Yeah, I know who you are,
They tell me you're a legend,
And so I'm gonna take their word on that
and ask you to train me,
Train you to do what? Ride a bike?
To fight,
I want you to train me to fight,
[BARTENDER SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
It looks like he might need,
[MURPHY SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
Your expired visa secret is still safe with me,
I don't mean to be rude,
but aren't you a little old to be going pro?
I don't wanna go pro, It's for,,,
I'm part of a fight club,
I'm sorry, you're in a what?
Yeah, a fight club,
A fight club,
[MURPHY LAUGHING]
I'm sorry, did you hear that Chloe?
A fight club, that sounds so dangerous,
I know I'm not Sugar Ray, all right, but I am in desperate need of a coach
and short of any other options, well, tag, you're it,
I got a news flash for you Twiggy,
there are a lot easier ways to make a buck than fighting,
My friend runs the Booby Trap
and you're not half bad looking for your age
if you wanna get- This is not about money,
Everything is about the money,
Oh really? Well not by the looks of you,
There are a lot less bruising hobbies than fighting,
like crocheting,
So if it isn't about money, what is it about?
Well, apparently if you fight someone
who is also trained to hurt you,
then your fears seem a lot smaller in comparison,
It's like once you face that kind of potential pain,
you build some sort of mental fortitude
to face anything that life has to throw at you,
Or something like that,
- If, - ANNA: Yeah,
- If you had your boobs done, - No!
I am sick and tired of my demons getting the better of me
and I wanna punch them square in the fucking face!
So, sorry,
Are you in or are you not?
Hey, hey!
It's show us your tits guy!
Oh no way!
No way!
Epically wasted last night,
I was, I was,
I'm so glad you enjoyed the show,
and don't forget to tip your waitress please,
Okay, move along now kids,
We're trying to have a little adult time here,
- Oh! - Okay, okay,
MAN: Well, our adult time would be rated R for raunchy,
How about R for repugnance?
- Ooh! - Bitch!
[FACE PUNCHES]
FRIEND: Whoa! Whoa!
- No, no, no, no! - What?
MURPHY: Your turn, your turn, your turn,
[MEN GRUNTING]
- MAN: Carter! Carter! - CARTER: I'm all right!
MAN: Carter,
My Dad's gonna hear about this!
[MURPHY LAUGHS]
Yeah!
Hey, I like you, Heidi,
- Anna, - Okay, let's go with that,
Now, I'm gonna give you a test,
If you pass that test,
I'm gonna train you,
Ugh, you're gonna go all Mr, Miyagi on me
and make me paint your house or something like that?
Can I have that please?
Let me have this please, thank you,
All you gotta do is open up this watermelon,
Strength and balance, [RUSHING WATERS]
This test has both,
Now, without holding it down,
I want you to punch this watermelon in it's smug little face until it pops,
Oh and no punching down,
Okay,
Ah! Ah!
This is ridiculous!
It's just gonna keep moving out of the way!
Yes it is, like all of your opponents,
this watermelon does not wanna get opened up,
That's why it's got such a thick skin,
It's gonna require a lot of force,
But like most of your opponents,
it also has a weak spot, and you're gonna find it,
One more time,
Oh, and take your shoes off,
Are you kidding?
The sand is like 100 degrees, [ROCK MUSIC]
Fighting also requires exceptional footwork,
Let's go,
[DETERMINED MUSIC]
[ANNA GRUNTING]
♪ Oh my, look at her ♪
♪ She's got fire ♪
♪ Oh my, look at her ♪
♪ She's got it all ♪ [ANNA GRUNTS]
♪ Spit it out ♪
♪ Come on spit that blood out ♪
♪ Spit it out ♪
♪ Come on, spit that blood out ♪
[ANNA GRUNTS] [WATERMELON SPLATTERS]
I did it!
Murph, I did it!
Oh, I did it Murph,
You did it?
- Yeah, - Oh, excellent,
MURPHY: Okay,
We start at seven o'clock tomorrow morning,
Is that some sort of old school training
you did with Sugar Ray?
No, I saw it on YouTube,
[SLOW PACED MUSIC]
Saw you at the club last night,
Oh right,
I'm sorry, we never had the chance to meet,
I'm- Dead to me,
- Excuse me? - You're dead to me,
You and all the other head cases that come into that place,
You know, maybe you should replace that green shit
with something stronger, you seem a little uptight,
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
What?
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
What did she just say?
Who knows,
Probably something about putting you in the hospital,
Either way, you're not gonna be welcomed
at the club pretty soon,
because we're bringing in a fresh breed of women,
a place like that should be about real competition,
Real fighters, not a support group for basic bitches,
You don't get to decide who comes to the club,
Well, maybe not, but if you do decide to keep showing up,
then one day you're gonna find yourself standing across from me,
And when that day comes, I'm gonna hurt you so badly,
Think it over, make the smart decision, cheers,
I'm not afraid of you Cobra Kai,
And I am not gonna back down from anyone,
and especially not you,
[OLIVIA CHUCKLES]
You're so cute,
So I challenge you! [TENSE MUSIC]
What?
What did you say?
I
challenge you,
And I accept, pick a time,
- In two decades, - Months,
- ANNA: Decades, - Two months,
You have to get ready and then we fight,
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
You know whatAbu, I challenge you too,
Yeah, and you as well, both of you,
I challenge both of you,
You guys can be the warmup to the main event, okay?
The appetizer to the main course, a little [SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
before the all you can eat buffet, kapeesh?
You better watch your back,
Yeah, well you better watch your front parts,
Punch your boobs,
Shit,
[TENSE MUSIC] [CAGE CLANGING]
[WOMAN GRUNTS] [BLOOD SPLATTERS]
Are you out of your damn mind?
I brought you here to be a better person, not die as one,
Let's make this crystal, you are a dead person, okay?
You challenged Olivia?
What monumental brain fart caused this level of stupidity?
This is your fault, Charleen,
CHARLEEN: How?
You showed me that video of my Mom,
Well, for the record, it's a bad idea,
A really bad one,
Like using the bathroom in a Home Depot bad,
ANNA: What? What's going on?
Do me a favor,
Casually look over your left shoulder,
God, you are so bad at that,
You see that woman standing up against the wall?
I thought she was the wall,
Her name is Naomi, She's a total bad-ass,
She was a regular, but she stopped showing up,
Only ever lost one fight,
And guess who beat her?
Godzilla,
Close, Your Mom,
Why is she back? And why is she staring at me like that?
Probably for revenge,
See, your Mother was the only person that beat her,
So she has to kill you to restore her family's honor,
Great,
Second time here and already two people wanna kill me,
Three,
I heard you challenged Noel as well,
Oh yeah,
- Idiot! - Mm-hm,
BEAR: Ah, this pretty face,
You're gonna lose it,
[ROCK MUSIC]
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
Girls ready!
And fight!
[RUSHING WINDS] [WOMEN GRUNTING]
♪ A renegade ♪
♪ Mama said girl go, go be crazy ♪
[BODY THUDS] [WOMEN CHEERING]
Come on, choke her out! Get her!
[BODY THUDS] [WOMEN GRUNTING]
[HAND TAPPING] Yeah!
Winner!
[FENCE CLANGING] [BEAR GRUNTS]
[BLOOD SPLASHING]
[WALL THUDS] [RUSHING WINDS]
[BODIES THUDDING] [WOMEN GRUNTING]
She moves like Neo in "The Matrix",
Mm-hm,
Why's she looking at you?
Nope, I didn't challenge her,
Winner!
[TENSE ROCK MUSIC]
We got a grudge match!
Girls, are you ready?
And, fight!
Come on bitch,
What you got Lizzo?
- Come on Sarah McLachlan, - Come on bitch,
CHARLEEN: Same as them puppies, bitch,
Hey, don't fuck with my puppies, bitch,
[RUSHING WINDS]
[WOMEN CHEERING]
[ANNA GASPS]
[BODY THUDS]
Oh!
[BODY THUDS]
One, two, three!
She's out, she's out, she's out!
Winner, right here!
- You were down! - This ain't fucking over!
- Hey! - This ain't over, Bear!
BETTY: I wasn't down!
Do something!
BEAR: You're out of the club!
- Fuck this shit! - Yeah, you fucking move!
- Fuck this shit! - Get out of here!
BETTY: I'm gonna tell the cops about this place!
That's right, it's my cage!
Get the fuck out!
WOMEN: Bye! See ya!
Oh my God,
Well,
you're up next, Rocky,
I think I'm just gonna,,,
Just give me a second,
[BOX TAPPING] [WOMEN SCREAMING]
That's who I'm fighting?
She's got a broken arm,
Do I go easy on her or what do I do?
Your second fight and you're Sarah Connor now?
It just doesn't seem fair,
On you or her?
Look at the bright side,
afterwards, you can say something cool and ironic,
like, "That fight was disarming,"
I'm not gonna say that,
You'll miss an opportunity of a lifetime,
Fighters ready!
CHARLEEN: Oh, watch out for her right,
That's not even funny,
And, fight!
Go, go, go! [WOMEN SHOUTING]
[RUSHING WINDS]
[FACE SLAPS]
[BODY THUDS]
Foot, her right foot,
I should have been more specific, I'm sorry,
Anna?
Anna,
Hello again,
Oh,
Oh, wow,
That fight was, disarming,
Yeah, well my opinion, it probably would have been better
to keep her at an arms length,
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, where ya going?
Well, to look for my dignity,
I know it's around here somewhere,
Seriously, I'm fine,
I appreciate you taking care of me too,
Thank you,
Well that's okay, I'm a lousy doctor anyway,
I went to Ohio State,
I was drunk half the time,
Ah,
I thought I sensed incompetence,
[BOTH LAUGHING]
OLIVIA: Hey Roy,
And evil,
I also sense the presence of evil among us,
ROY: Hi,
You, you ready to go?
ANNA: Ready to go where?
Olivia and I were gonna have some drinks, a couple drinks,
ANNA: Hmm, that's wonderful,
Yeah, have you had a chance to meet Anna yet?
Yeah, actually we had a,
a delightful little chat earlier today,
We sure did, and oh,
I thought I overheard her ask someone about the best
medication was for syphilis,
So maybe you can pick Dr, Roy's brain
about that over drinks tonight,
[ANNA LAUGHING]
Anyway, Anyway,
ANNA: I shouldn't keep you two,
Syphilis, yep!
It's a real thing, you know!
Took down Hitler when half the world couldn't,
[RUSHING WATERS] Murphy: You're late,
It's 7:00 AM like you said,
If you're early, you're on time, and if you're on time, you're late,
- That's very confusing, - Don't let it happen again, okay,
And if you do, I'm gone,
Put that on,
From what I hear, if you get punched in the head,
you fall down, makes it kind of hard to win a fight,
- So how are we gonna fix that? - I don't know,
Chloe here is going to punch you in the head a few times,
What?
[HEAD THUDS] [ANNA GRUNTS]
How does that feel?
Really uncomfortable!
[ANNA GRUNTING] [HEAD THUDS]
Yeah, it's an uncomfortable thing to get punched in the head,
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
What?
Isn't it better if I try to fight her back?
No, you need to learn how to take a punch,
- Let's go, - What?
[ANNA GRUNTING] [HEAD THUDS]
ANNA: Oh Jesus, that hurts!
Yes it does, because it's painful to train,
it's painful to compete,
but there's nothing more pleasurable
than the thrill of victory,
Isn't it you that wanted this celebration
of the human spirit both in and out of the ring?
Huh? This is only gonna help you,
[ANNA GRUNTING] [HEAD THUDS]
Oh, this is bullshit!
How much longer am I gonna have to take this?
Until you can't take it anymore,
Well then I can't take it anymore!
What am I missing?
Drink? [SLOW ROCK MUSIC]
Yeah,
♪ All bad bitches go to heaven ♪
♪ Break a heart, make a legend ♪
♪ All bad bitches go to heaven ♪
♪ Break a heart, make a legend ♪
♪ All bad bitches go to heaven ♪
♪ Break a heart, make a legend ♪
Hi,
WOMAN: We're not open,
Oh, the door was open so I just thought-
- We have an opening tonight,
The artist was bumping in,
You look familiar, do I know you from somewhere?
Oh, at that coffee shop!
I challenged you to a fight at the Fight Club,
Are we even allowed to talk about the Fight Club?
What can I do for you?
Oh, right,
I'm actually looking for a job,
I have lots of cafe experience,
I'm not the one you should be speaking with,
Oh, who might that be?
In there,
Oh,
Okay, thanks,
[BAG THUDDING]
Shit,
Hi, Anna,
What are you doing here, you little peeping Tom?
I mean, I think my ass looks great in these pants,
but damn,
Hey Olivia, No, no,
I am actually a huge art lover,
- And so the art drew me in, - Oh, yes,
- Larry is incredible, right? - Yeah,
OLIVIA: Yeah, I know,
It was a real coup to get him to open here,
I bet,
And do you work out in a gallery,
Yeah, you can work out anywhere you want
when you own the space,
You own the gallery?
Mm-hm,
Actually, I own the whole building,
Oh wow, that's-
- Super baller,
Yeah, ballers, great,
Anna, you're a liar,
ANNA: What?
Yeah, you don't give a shit about art,
You don't care about Larry,
But I love Larry,
OLIVIA: You don't even know who he is, do you?
- I sure do, - You came here because you wanted to get
the low down on my date with the good doctor, didn't you?
Uh-huh, you filthy little Minx, you!
No, no, I did not,
- So picture this, - No,
- Two perfect naked bodies - I don't want to,
OLIVIA: coming together as one flesh
for hours of pure unadulterated,
- in carnal, pleasure, - Yeah, I just, no,
- Over, - I don't care,
ANNA: I love Larry, Larry's mixed media,
My favorite, The more mixed up the better!
You should have seen us,
Oh, actually you totally can,
because we recorded the whole thing,
I'll just pop it on over to you,
now that I have your email,
Oh right, no, I just-
- Oh Anna,
I just wanted to tell you,
We have a really strict employment policy,
Yeah, we just don't hire [PAPER RIPPING]
weak minded blondes,
Walk away mom jeans, [ANNA STUTTERS]
Walk away,
- These are tight, - Uh-huh,
♪ All bad bitches go to heaven ♪
[BAG THUDS]
You know Chloe, you want that visa,
I say we get married,
Hey Frenchie heads up, [TENSE MUSIC]
Let's go,
Can I finish my drink?
No,
I knew she'd be back,
♪ Tight fist ♪ [HEAD THUDS]
♪ Knuckle crack ♪ [HEAVY BREATHING]
♪ Knock out ♪
♪ War cry ♪
♪ Float like a butterfly ♪
♪ Bite like a shark ♪ ANNA: More!
♪ Won't know if you never try ♪
ANNA: Come on Frenchie, give it to me!
Is that all you got?
Go, again! Go!
Come on!
Go, again, again!
Come on, what are you, a wimp? Give it harder, go!
[ANNA GRUNTING]
Yeah, that's right! What, come on!
Ooh, yep, yep, more gently!
That's right, that's right,
[HEAVY BREATHING]
Are you done?
Yeah,
So what's next?
Not bad,
Not bad at all,
One, sweep!
Two, sweep!
Three! No!
You don't even hit like a girl! You hit like a cat!
Like a cat that can't box,
Okay, come on!
Keep going, keep moving!
I'm gonna need a lot of drinks,
- I can't do it, - MURPHY: Let's move on,
Ah! [HEAD THUDS]
Ow!
Ah, ah that hurts!
So does hitting a real person, now come on,
show me something!
Watch me, you're always loading from the shoulder,
[MURPHY GRUNTING] Okay,
She has a really hard head,
She certainly does,
Sa!
Su!
Zi!
You're very funny by the way, okay, Watch me,
Make it count,
[MURPHY GRUNTS]
[ANNA GRUNTS] That's it!
Well now hit the fucking bag!
I did hit the bag!
[ANNA GRUNTS]
Swing, three!
And duck, sweep!
You didn't duck!
That's better, that's better!
Yeah! [FACE THUDS]
[ANNA GRUNTS]
[ANNA SIGHS]
She's still going,
How long has she lasted?
Are you okay?
Yeah,
[BODY THUDS]
[SLOW PACED MUSIC]
ROY: Anna,
Anna, wake up,
What? [SLOW KINKY MUSIC]
Did I get knocked out again?
No, but I think you're a complete knockout,
You know, I've been thinking a lot about you lately,
Actually, you're all I've been thinking about,
What about Olivia?
ROY: Who?
Good answer,
I really wanna kiss you right now
and have lots of sex, would that be okay?
I'm feeling extremely consensual,
ROY: Oh my God, you are all wet,
You bet your ass I am,
No, you're literally like all wet,
Like saturated, You're drenched,
[TENSE MUSIC]
Oh my God, What's happening?
[ANNA GASPS]
[ANNA SCREAMS]
Oh God, I can't even dream right!
[ANNA GRUNTS] [BALL THUDS]
Ow!
What the fuck?
NURSE: And you're here about?
- Possible tissue damage? - NURSE: Where?
Down, down there,
Okay, what'd you use?
A coconut?
Oh no, not on myself,
Put that in the chart,
No coconut was inserted, it was kicked into my cooch,
I had a coconut kicked in my cooch,
Try saying that 10 times fast,
Got a coconut kicked in my cooch, Got a coconut,
Yeah, hard,
[ANNA CHUCKLES] Nurse: Okay,
- Okay, - Dr, Lee will be with you soon,
Great,
[ANNA SIGHS]
Hello mister,
I'll be your doctor for the day,
Hi, wow, shit,
I didn't, I didn't know you worked here,
Well, yeah, I'm a doctor,
Yeah,
It's the only hospital in town,
Right, yeah, well, how convenient,
Yeah,
Well, look, I was just sitting front of the computer,
I saw your name pop up on the admittance list,
What's going on?
- Well- - Eh, you know what, I'm just-
- Oh no, no, no, you don't have to look, I'll just tell you,
It's not inserted, but kicked,
- Well that's a relief, - Yeah,
If it was the former and not the latter
I'd say you belonged in Tijuana and not a hospital,
Yeah, right,
You're in any pain right now?
I think I'm dying of embarrassment, yeah,
Well, I'd lay low with the, you know,
sexual activity for a week or so,
That won't be a problem,
I'm on a self-imposed abstinence,
- That's very strong-willed of you, - Thanks,
So what about you?
What about me?
How was, how was your date with Olivia?
Oh,
ANNA: Did you practice abstinence?
Woo! Yeah, things got a little crazy,
- Oh, - That night we drank
ROY: a lot of tequila, You know what I mean?
I wasn't myself, if I'm being totally honest,
Yeah, no, no, you don't have to explain,
Doctor, we need you to scrub up,
22 year old male GSW to the chest,
Ambulance is about a minute out,
Okay Miss, well I gotta go, I'll see you later though, okay?
I'm a psycho,
[SLOW TENSE MUSIC]
Oh,
So,
You're a coconut lady, huh?
Yep, that's me,
Might as well make that my legal name from now on, right?
Lean back,
Okay, [SLOW PACED MUSIC]
[PHONE RINGING]
CHARLEEN VOICEMAIL: It's Charleen, you know what to do!
ANNA: Hey C, I really need a drink,
Meet me at Cheeky's,
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
ED: Hey honey!
Dad?
Oh my God, what are you doing here?
What are you doing here? Something you'd like to tell me?
Oh my God, No, I'm having a drink with Charleen,
- Did you get a spray tan? - No, I was working the garden,
With a bronzing hose?
- Shut up! - Is Chuck here?
No, he's working late, He's got a big divorce case,
Okay,
Well I can, I can join you for a drink,
Normally I would love to,
but I've got some place to go,
- Really? - That's right,
ED: I got invited to a party,
A guy came in and was handing these
party cards out right before you came,
Orgy Dad,
This doesn't say party, it says orgy,
You've been invited to an orgy,
That O looks just like a P,
and who in the hell writes in cursive anymore?
Dad, just go home, wait for Chuck,
have all the Chuck sex you want,
Have a Chuck orgy,
Are you okay? You seem upset,
No, it's just,
I never expected to be with my Dad in a gay bar
talking about orgies,
Are you embarrassed by me?
No, I'm not embarrassed,
I'm just, I'm still processing it all,
I've been processing this most of my life,
I'm done,
I am who I am and this is who I'm gonna be,
I fought hard to find myself, what about you?
Love you sweetie,
[SLOW ROCK MUSIC]
[MEN WHISTLING] ♪ Woo-hoo ♪
MAN: Oh yeah,
♪ Woo-Hoo ♪
♪ Sucker ♪ [SEAGULL CAWING]
♪ Woo-Hoo ♪
♪ My sucker ♪ Ready one!
Sweep, two!
Sweep, three! ♪ Woo-hoo ♪
Sweep, four!
Sweep!
- This hand goes out, - Yeah,
MURPHY: This hands up,
This hand goes out and this hands up, bang, bang!
Bang, bang!
Uppercut!
Okay, again, ready?
One, one, two, three!
Again, bang!
That's it, one, two,
three!
♪ Got me where you want me ♪
♪ I jump back in ♪
♪ And run up on ya ♪
♪ Make you beg for mercy ♪
♪ Hits like no other ♪
♪ Tell me how you like my sucker, punch ♪
♪ Woo-Hoo ♪
♪ My sucker, punch ♪ Thank you,
♪ Woo-Hoo ♪
♪ Coming for more ♪
♪ Coming for you ♪ One, one, two!
♪ Coming for you ♪
One, one, two, three!
♪ My sucker, punch ♪
[BAG THUDDING]
♪ Woo-Hoo ♪ One more hook!
♪ My sucker, punch ♪
♪ Woo-Hoo ♪ [FACE PUNCHING]
♪ Hits like no other ♪
♪ Tell me how you like my sucker ♪
♪ Won't stop til I get what I want ♪
♪ Keep it up ♪
♪ I don't know how to quit, yeah ♪
♪ Well, well, you can cry to your Mom ♪
♪ I'm a bitch, but it is what it is, yeah ♪
♪ Just when you think that ♪
♪ I'm a goner, got me where you want me ♪
♪ I took back in and run up on ya ♪
♪ Make you beg for mercy ♪
♪ Hits like no other ♪ Oh come on!
♪ Tell me how you like my sucker, punch ♪
♪ Woo-Hoo ♪ [HEAVY BREATHING]
♪ My sucker, punch ♪
♪ Woo-Hoo ♪
♪ Coming for me ♪ [ANNA SCREAMS]
♪ Coming for you ♪
♪ Coming for me ♪
[WALL THUDDING]
♪ My sucker, punch ♪
[RUSHING WATER]
♪ Woo-Hoo ♪
♪ My sucker, punch ♪
♪ Woo-Hoo ♪ Hey! Hey!
Hey!
You do any babysitting?
I don't have any kids, but we can work something out,
That's my coach,
You get away from him!
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
I don't know what that means,
but this Fight Club sounds a little ruthless,
You wouldn't stand a chance,
What'd they say to you?
It doesn't really matter,
What matters is both of these ladies
seem to be taking you very seriously,
♪ Tell me how you like my sucker ♪
♪ Always give because I love it ♪
♪ Dripping down my chin ♪
♪ I won't stop until I won it ♪
♪ I'm a champion ♪
[WOMEN GRUNTING]
♪ Bet you never thought I could ♪
♪ I think in hell I could ♪
♪ Hits like no other ♪
♪ Tell me how you like my sucker, punch ♪
♪ Woo-Hoo ♪
♪ My sucker, punch ♪
♪ Woo-Hoo ♪
♪ Coming for me ♪
♪ Coming for you ♪
Hit it! That's it, again!
Bang, that's it! Turn 'em into hamburger!
Jesus Christ!
You're like a fucking Great White shark, Look at you,
[ANNA CHUCKLES]
Wow! ♪ My sucker, punch ♪
[BONES CRACKING] [WOMAN GRUNTING]
♪ Hits like no other ♪ [HAND TAPS]
♪ Tell me how you like my sucker ♪
ROY: Congratulations Anna, that fight was incredible,
Thanks,
Hold on, can I talk to you for a second?
What do you want Roy?
Well, ever since you came into the ER,
I just feel like you've been going out of your way to avoid me,
I was wondering why,
I've just been winning more,
I haven't needed your services,
You should probably leave,
What? Why?
You shouldn't see this next fight,
Well, great, now all I wanna do is see this next fight,
No! [WOMEN SHOUTING]
Why did you let this happen?
Olivia challenged all three,
There is no rule against it,
- Should be, - Yeah, fight!
- ANNA: This is crazy, - Mm-hm,
All right fighters!
Same rules as on one on,
but this is three on one!
Oh my God,
BEAR: Ready, fight!
[BODIES THUDDING] [WOMEN GRUNTING]
Holy shit,
She's been holding back,
[TENSE MUSIC]
[WOMAN GRUNTING]
[FACE PUNCHING]
[WOMEN GRUNTING]
[CAGE CLANGS]
WOMAN: Hey!
[WOMEN APPLAUDING]
[FACE SLAPS]
[SLOW WINDS]
[GHOSTLY WINDS] [HEAVY BREATHING]
[OLIVIA GRUNTING]
I'll see you in here tomorrow night,
[RUSHING WINDS]
I quit, I quit!
What?
I am done Charleen, okay!
I am done pretending, I am not my Mom,
And you never will be if you quit,
Come on, you worked so hard!
Yeah, and what's it gotten me?
I can take and throw a punch?
Great!
But out here in the real world,
my life is still a shit pile!
If you don't fight Olivia tomorrow,
you can never come back,
Well it's probably best for everyone, all right,
- Sorry, I'm done, - Anna,
Anna!
Damn it!
[RUSHING WATERS]
Hey Twiggy,
You're supposed to be at the gym,
I told you if you were late again we're done,
and you're very late,
but because of your exceptional progress,
I'm gonna give you one free pass, so let's go,
Or we could just take in the scenery,
Nothing's changed Murph,
I don't know what I thought this fight would give me,
but I still have all the same problems,
Totally broke,
No closer to reopening a business,
and I have absolutely no prospects of turning things around,
And you know what the icing on the shit cake would be?
Olivia,
I mean, this isn't a librarian or a woman with a broken arm,
This is someone who can do long lasting damage,
I'm too scared to fight her,
So,
I'm quitting,
But you've trained for this,
and I wouldn't let you fight if I didn't think you were ready,
All you need to do now is leave behind fear and doubt,
and take that final step to bravery,
It's easier said than done,
How do I do that?
I'll show you, [SLOW PACED MUSIC]
Okay,
you go like this,
I don't get it,
Okay, I'll do it one more time,
Like that,
You see, when you're fighting Kung Fu Barbie tonight,
you don't think about anything else but this,
outside the ropes is fear,
but you take one single step into the ring
and you are brave,
And the same thing goes for this world, Anna,
The only thing that separates fear from bravery
is one small step,
So are you gonna take it?
You got that from YouTube, didn't you?
Yeah,
It's good though, huh?
And you probably give the same great advice to Sugar Ray,
- Huh? - Pretty much,
MURPHY: I mean, it's scary getting up there
in front of thousands of adoring fans,
especially when those songs don't sound
the same live as they do when you record them,
Wait,
Hold on,
You trained Sugar Ray the band?
Yeah, I mean only for their first world tour,
but those things are grueling,
I mean Mark McGrath, [ANNA LAUGHING]
he was ripped,
Of course! [ANNA LAUGHS]
- MURPHY: What's so funny? - Nothing I-
- "Every Morning" is a misunderstood classic,
Misunderstood is an understatement,
Hey,
you got this,
If all else fails,
use your head,
Hey, you never told me what I owe you for helping me out,
Just pay my bar bill,
[PHONE RINGING]
Dad?
Chuck,
What happened?
[RUSHING WINDS]
[SLOW PACED MUSIC]
What the hell, Dad?
A heart attack? How bad is it?
You didn't let Chuck finish before you hung up on him,
I had a mild heart attack,
I could be home tonight, [ANNA SIGHS]
Oh God,
Well, what triggered it?
What the hell are you doing to him in the bedroom?
Actually, it was on top of a washing machine,
A classic,
And what is she doing here?
You really called her before me?
I needed her to bring something,
What is this?
It's the club, or at least the property,
Yeah, I knew,
Your Mom did more than fight at that club,
Your Mom owned it, and now you do,
And you're homeless after all, You should sell it,
Pay off your debt's,
You know, start afresh,
I'm gonna head over there now,
Get in one last fight before you shut us down,
- Roy, - What up?
How ya feeling Ed?
Good, I feel really good,
Yeah, well if you're feeling really good,
then you shouldn't be in the hospital,
I'm taking off, but Dr, Lee's gonna come in and discharge you,
- ED: Thanks, - I'll see ya,
Go get him before Chuck and I do,
Oh my God, that is some ginger candy,
Get it,
Go get him, girl,
Okay,
Oh my God,
Don't ever pass out inside of me again,
So, [IMITATES BUBBLE POPPING]
you're a washing machine man, huh?
[KINKY MUSIC]
He loves his spin cycle,
I'm kind of a permanent press guy myself,
Yeah, so,
Roy, wait,
Look, please, I just wanna apologize
for ignoring you,
It's just that,
I really like you,
and it's not my place to judge who you have sex with,
I did not have sex with Olivia,
Oh,
Why? I mean,
did it hurt too much when she laid on top of you
with her razor blade nipples?
Okay, yeah, well listen,
That night, got a little crazy, okay,
Yeah, we went back to her place,
Obviously both had too much to drink,
things escalated, [CLEARS THROAT],
it was weird,
I couldn't get it up,
What?
Yeah, your sympathy for my situation is overwhelming,
Sorry, it's just,
I mean a good doctor knows they have pills for that,
Small, blue,
Okay, I couldn't get it up
'cause I was thinking of you,
Wow,
Let me clarify that statement,
Okay, yeah,
I'd love to see you walk that one back,
I couldn't get it up with her because
I wanted to be with you,
Because I can, you know,
I can get it up,
- ANNA: Oh, - Like, I'm talking,
ROY: I can, way up,
Like, way up,
Like, up, [ANNA CHUCKLES]
I'll take you right in that closet and rock your world,
- Oh, - Right now,
- Wow, - I've got a break,
- I'm done for the day, - ANNA: Okay,
It's a little bad timing, don't you think?
I mean, we're 20 yards away from where my Dad is recovering
from a sexually related heart attack,
Not to mention,
I have to fight a ninja cheerleader tonight,
Oh, so you're gonna fight Olivia?
Yeah,
Yup, Yeah, I guess I am,
All right, well, at least let me give you a ride to the club,
Maybe a little ride in the closet first though, huh?
Oh fuck it, [KINKY MUSIC]
[DOOR SLAMS]
[LIGHTS THUDDING]
This is the big one ladies! [WOMEN SCREAMING]
One of the most anticipated match ups
in the history of our club!
Let's get prepared to rumble!
There is a more common phrase, but it is federally trademarked!
All right, let's bring out our challengee!
Weighing in at a total skinny bitch,
she's undefeated!
It's Olivia Mayhem Miller!
♪ All bad bitches go to heaven ♪
♪ Break a heart, make a legend ♪
♪ All bad bitches go to heaven ♪
♪ Yes we go, yes we go ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, all bad bitches go to heaven ♪
♪ Break a heart, make a legend ♪
♪ All bad bitches go to heaven ♪
♪ Yes we go, yes we go ♪
♪ I might look sweet but I'm psycho ♪
Boo!
[WOMEN SHOUTING]
And our challenger!
She wanted this fight
for reasons of temporary insanity!
She is the offspring of our
great founder, Mary Wynncomb!
Give it up for Anna WildCard Wynncomb!
[SPEAKER BUZZING]
[LIGHT GENTLE MUSIC]
[ANNA CLEARS THROAT]
ANNA: This is my music?
I didn't choose it,
[ANNA SIGHS]
Just one small step,
[HEART BEATING]
[GENTLE TENSE MUSIC]
[WOMEN SHOUTING] [GENTLE MUSIC]
Go, go, go, yeah!
- You can do this! - Come on!
CHARLEEN: What are the odds on Anna?
1,000 to one?
[BLOWS RASPBERRY] I got a dollar for that,
She ain't gonna win anyway,
Thank you, girl,
Fighters, ready!
And, fight!
[RUSHING WINDS]
You ready to bleed?
Yeah, but not for like another month!
This is the wrong time for a period joke!
[RUSHING WINDS] [ANNA GRUNTING]
There ya go!
[FACE PUNCHES] [BODY THUDS]
Yes!
- Get up! - Come on!
[HEAD PUNCHES]
WOMAN: Good,
BEAR: Okay, watch the neck!
Come on now, fight!
Let's go, get up!
Come on, get up, get up!
BEAR: You good, you need to tap out?
Ah, there we go!
Come on baby!
[BODY THUDS] Crowd: Oh!
Come on, get up!
Come on girl, get up, come on!
BEAR: You good, you good?
Let's go, yeah, yeah! [FENCE CLANGS]
[BODY THUDS]
[RUSHING WINDS]
[ANNA GRUNTS] [BODY THUDS]
Stay down, you don't have anything left to prove!
Stay down!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
BEAR: You getting up, you getting up?
All right,
[FENCE CLANGS]
[RUSHING WINDS]
[BODY THUDS]
[ANNA GASPING]
Come on Bear, stop the fight man, this is not right,
Tap out if you need to!
Tap out, [ANNA COUGHING]
You good?
Come on!
Let's go!
- Come on, get up! - All right,
WOMAN: Get up!
[BODY THUDS] [CROWD GASPS]
[ANNA GRUNTS]
CROWD: Oh!
[HEART BEATING]
Anna, stay down!
Stay down, everyone knows you're
weak just like your Mom,
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪ Get your feet moving ♪
♪ Wrap your hands up ♪
♪ Tie your hair back ♪
♪ Let's get it out ♪
♪ Tight fist ♪
♪ Knuckle crack ♪
♪ Knockout ♪
♪ War cry ♪
♪ Float like a butterfly ♪
♪ Bite like a shark ♪
♪ Won't know if you never try ♪
♪ Ah ♪
MURPH: If all else fails, use your head,
[HEADS CRACKING] ♪ Who do you fight for ♪
♪ I fight for me ♪
Get up, get up, get up!
♪ Who do you live for ♪
♪ I live for me ♪
♪ If I lose ♪
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
♪ Tonight ♪
♪ I fight ♪
♪ For me ♪
[HEADS CRACKING]
- Bear! - You guys good?
BEAR: You wanna tap out?
♪ Get your heart pumping ♪
♪ Get the punch in ♪
♪ I've been so down till now ♪
♪ Time to get it out ♪
[RUSHING WIND] ♪ Who do you fight for ♪
♪ I fight for me ♪
Did she just knock this bitch out?
[GIRLS CHEERING]
Whoever gets up first is the winner!
[GIRLS SHOUTING]
Whoever gets up first!
Come on!
Come on, come on,
♪ Tonight I fight for me ♪
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
CHARLEEN: Listen to me, listen to me! Come on, get up!
Come on,
Get her Bear!
Winner!
[GIRLS CHEERING]
Girl, I just won $1,000!
Winner! ♪ Who do you live for ♪
♪ I live for me ♪ [WOMEN CHEERING]
♪ Tonight I fight for me ♪ [ANNA SCREAMS]
♪ Only for me ♪
Anna, you okay?
I don't know,
But you should be checking out her right now,
Hey!
I've never been more attracted to you
than I am right now!
I just made $1,000, ting!
You only bet a dollar on me?
I didn't have any coin!
That was the most bad ass thing I have ever seen,
What the hell were those head butts?
I think all the practicing with Murphy,
I found out that I have a really hard head,
Oh shit,
Ow,
- BEAR: Yeah, it's like steel in there, - CHARLEEN: One of the hardest noggins
- I've ever encountered, - That hurts, stop!
[METAL BANGING]
I can hear clanging in my brain,
Clanging?
Oh shit! Betty!
Bitch really did sell us-
- WOMAN: Cops!
CHARLEEN: Game plan!
- BEAR: I'm on it! - What the hell is going on?
Well, everybody listen up,
We're about to get raided,
Bear's unlocking the door to the way out,
You're gonna go through a hole in the fence,
then under the freeway, you'll be home free!
Go!
Come on, let's go, let's go!
Come on, let's go, let's go,
Come on, let's go,
Come on, come on,
Be careful, be careful,
Come on,
I was sure this was mine,
But you've become
one hell of a fighter,
Good job, [SIRENS WAILING]
Come on, let's go,
Earth to Anna! Is it all those headbutts?
Come on, girl, there's a goddamn raid, let's go!
My Mom built this ship and now I'm the captain,
So I'm going down with it,
Okay, well I'm a cop so I'm gonna scoot out,
but I am so proud of you tonight,
And I got priors, but hey, good job captain,
Anna, what are you doing? Come on, let's go,
No, you get out of here,
This is not worth you losing your medical license, alright?
Even if you are a lousy doctor,
[ANNA CHUCKLES] [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
[DOOR BANGING]
[LIGHT UPBEAT MUSIC]
OFFICER: You have the right to remain silent,
Anything you say can and will be held
against you in the court of law,
You have the right to an attorney,
If you cannot afford one,
one will be appointed to represent you,
Do you understand?
[SIREN BEEPS]
Hey, what are you in for?
Assault and battery,
gross negligence, unlawful assembly,
disturbing the peace,
and promoting fights without a license,
I didn't know that existed,
Yeah,
OFFICER: Wynncomb,
Yeah, present,
OFFICER: You made bail, You're out of here,
What?
Fuck,
Wait,
You?
Yeah, me,
Charleen, I know you don't have
that kind of lazy cash laying around,
Oh, you're right,
But everyone pitched in,
Who's everyone?
The girls at the club,
I passed the hat around
and we had more than enough to make your bail,
- Wow! - Don't be so surprised,
You did something that no one else can do,
You defeated Olivia,
Ooh, you are Dorothy girl,
and ding dong the wicked witch is dead,
No, no, no, not literally,
- Not literally, - Okay,
CHARLEEN: She's gonna be in the hospital for a few days,
and considering the number of girls she sent in there,
it is more than fair,
Yeah,
Anyways,
It's nice the club went out on a high note,
I'm not closing the club Charleen,
What?
I got a lot of thinking done
while I was doing hard time on the inside,
You weren't even in for a night,
And yes, I do own that property,
and yes I could do whatever I want with it,
but I can't sell the club,
You need the money,
We all need that space,
We all need that community,
What are you getting at?
I'm gonna use the property as collateral,
I'm gonna get that loan, open a new cafe,
This way the club stays open, I start a new business,
it's a win, win, eh?
Look at you!
Look how far you've come!
We did it Mary,
We did it,
One small step at a time,
But first I gotta make sure I don't spend
a longer stint in the big house for all my crimes
and misdemeanors, you know,
You're gonna need a good lawyer,
Define good,
I'm a divorce lawyer,
I usually don't handle criminal cases,
but I am an excellent lawyer,
He's excellent at everything,
- Geez, Dad, - Ooh,
ANNA: Keep it in your pants,
And while I'm in jail, you keep it in your pants,
If it does go to trial, how much time is she looking at?
Well, if she's guilty on all charges,
probably two years,
Oh no,
Maybe I should just plead guilty,
Why would you do that?
Because I am guilty,
Shh!
And you told me that the judge would show
leniency if I was honest,
Well most of them would,
but I hear our judge is a real ball breaker,
So our best bet is to take this to a jury,
Yeah, but you know,
sometimes in life you just need to stand up
and take responsibility for your actions,
And today is my day to do just that,
All rise! [SLOW ROCK MUSIC]
The Honorable Judge Andrews presiding,
She's gonna eat us alive,
NAOMI: Please be seated,
What is wrong with you?
Wow,
I always secretly hope for interesting cases,
and it looks like I got my wish,
As my old friend, Mary would say,
if life isn't interesting,
then you're just not trying hard enough,
Chuck, you know all that shit
I said about taking responsibility for my actions?
- Uh-huh, - Today is not the day,
NAOMI: Counselor, how does your client plead?
Not guilty,
Counselor?
Not guilty,
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Anna, this is incredible!
We didn't have this many customers in a month at the old place,
I know, We've got happy customers,
We've got money in the cash register,
- Which is very unnatural, - Yeah,
ANNA: But I think I can get used to it,
You ready to go?
Yeah! Oh, will you cover for me?
Absolutely, Go get 'em tiger,
[CHARLEEN LAUGHS]
Oh, hey, don't forget those handcuffs,
Always got 'em on my belt baby girl,
What? I told you I was going to have her,
[CHARLEEN LAUGHS]
And you know what I said about my tongue
setting her pubes aflame?
- Stop, - Didn't happen,
'Cause she doesn't have any!
- Okay, stop! - Ha ha!
CHARLEEN: Fresh as a daisy down there!
- Smooth, smooth! - Stop,
ANNA: I am begging you to stop,
Like a hairless cat!
[CHARLEEN LAUGHING]
I think I'm in love,
[TECHNO MUSIC]
♪ Get high ♪
♪ Girlfriend ♪
♪ Get high ♪
♪ Girlfriend ♪
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
Let's get prepared to rumble!
[WOMEN CHEERING]
All right!
I love the new club, Anna,
The vibe is really awesome!
Thank you!
Well done, Anna,
Whoa, that was,,,
What? Where are you from?
People have always tried to define me
by pinpointing where I'm from,
I thought it shouldn't matter, but it got to me,
So I learned eight different languages,
and now I'm from everywhere,
♪ Get high ♪
♪ Girlfriend ♪
These look like your size,
Better than tape, that's for sure,
Oh, I got plans for the tape,
Oh, is that an allusion to a future sexual encounter?
Actually, no, I'm really into arts and crafts,
but I like the way you think,
Yo Anna! [ANNA LAUGHS]
Get your ass in the ring,
I gotta go get my ass in the ring,
All right, well I'm gonna watch it all the way,
Are you sure you two wanna do this?
Oh hell yeah,
I've always wanted to punch her in the face,
Who says dreams don't come true?
Having a doctor for boyfriend is gonna
be real useful in a few seconds,
Already has been,
He gave me a breast exam last night,
Sure didn't take very long because you've got tiny titties,
Okay, I got no comeback,
but all I wanna say is thank you, for everything,
You turned my life around,
You turned your life around friend,
I just gave you a nudge in the right direction,
All right, this is getting too sentimental,
When do we get to hit each other?
CHARLEEN: Bring it on!
Back up, back up, back up fighters!
And,
fight!
[WOMEN CHEERING] [CAGE CLANGING]
[RUSHING WINDS]
[BODY THUDS]
- Ah, that fucking hurt! - Plastic surgeon!
CHARLEEN: I need a plastic surgeon!
BOTH: Roy!
♪ Hot blood ♪
♪ Dripping down ♪ [WALL THUDS]
♪ Wet skin ♪
♪ Get your feet moving ♪
♪ Wrap your hands up ♪ [WALL THUDS]
♪ Tie your hair back ♪
♪ Let's get it out ♪ [WALL THUDS]
♪ Tight fists ♪
♪ Knuckle crack ♪ [WALL THUDS]
♪ Knock out ♪
♪ War cry ♪
♪ Float like,,, ♪ [BLENDER WHIRRING]
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
Hey, yeah, I'm great,
I'm just here to pay up Murphy's tab,
How much does he owe you?
What the-
♪ Who do you fight for ♪
ANNA: I'm not afraid of you Cobra Kai,
OLIVIA: I'm gonna hurt you, so badly,
CHARLEEN: You see how fast I am with my tongue?
[CHARLEEN BABBLES]
ROY: I'm a lousy doctor anyway,
I was drunk half the time,
ED: Woof,
CHUCK: Oh my God!
♪ For me ♪
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
[GAVEL THUDS] Naomi: Please be seated,
BEAR: To the center, Fighters!
MURPHY: A Fight Club?
[MURPHY LAUGHING]
CHLOE: Another drink?
BETTY: You better get used to disappointment bitch,
WOMAN: Really awesome!
MARY: Never do back down,
♪ Who do you fight for ♪
♪ I fight for me ♪
♪ Who do you live for ♪
♪ I live for me ♪
♪ If I lose, I will lose for me ♪
♪ Tonight ♪
♪ I fight for me ♪
[ROCK MUSIC]
♪ Who do you fight for ♪
♪ I fight for me ♪
♪ Who do you live for ♪
♪ I live for me ♪
♪ If I lose, I will lose for me ♪
♪ Tonight ♪
♪ I fight, for me ♪
♪ Tell me I fight like a girl ♪
♪ I dare you tell me I fight like a girl ♪
♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪
♪ Tell me I fight like a girl ♪
♪ I dare you tell me I fight like a girl ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum, boom, boom ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum, boom, boom ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ Sucking back the air tonight ♪
♪ Makes me feel like I wanna fight ♪
♪ Sitting back to fight tonight ♪
♪ Makes me feel like I might ♪
♪ Get a little bit rough ♪
♪ Feet banging on the floor ♪
♪ Sweep, make a mess ♪
♪ Meet me in the ring ♪
♪ Gotta get some things off my chest ♪
♪ I am beat, but I won't be beaten ♪
♪ I have faith ♪
♪ But I need something to believe in ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a ♪
♪ Buh-Beating like a ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a boom, boom, bang ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a ♪
♪ Buh-Beating like a ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a boom, boom, bang ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a ♪
♪ Buh-Beating like a ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a boom, boom, bang ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a ♪
♪ Buh-Beating like a ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a boom, boom, bang ♪
♪ I like the way your body sways ♪
♪ In the strip light ♪
♪ I'm not a fighter but I want a feel lighter ♪
♪ So let's dance tonight ♪
♪ It's a little bit of crazy ♪
♪ But it will save me I'm sure ♪
♪ El Matador ♪
♪ It's a little bit of war that you're looking for ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum, boom, boom ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a ♪
♪ Buh-Beating like a ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a boom, boom, bang ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a ♪
♪ Buh-Beating like a ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a boom, boom, bang ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a ♪
♪ Buh-Beating like a ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a boom, boom, bang ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a ♪
♪ Buh-Beating like a ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a drum ♪
♪ My heart is beating like a boom, boom, bang ♪
[ROCK MUSIC]