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THIS IS MEXICO CITY,
POPULATED BY STRANGE CREATURES CALLED CHILANGOS,
MASTERS OF CHAOS AND DISORDER,
THE ONLY HUMAN BEINGS THAT EAT QUESADILLAS WITHOUT CHEESE,
THE SPANISH PAINTER SALVADOR DALÍ DEFINED CHILANGOLANDIA
AS A MORE SURREAL PLACE THAN HIS PAINTINGS,
Come on, Miss Venezuela,
Let's go, come,
You're a sweet guy,
- This is huge! - Sugar, baby,
I love it,
I think I'm going to gain a lot of weight here in Mexico,
- More weight means more meat, - That's mean!
- Really, I love being with you, - Really?
So do I,
These masks are so cool!
- This is very Mexican, right? - Obviously, baby, it's wrestling,
- Let me see you with this on, - This is Chiriñas' mask,
You have good taste, he's rudo,
- That's so funny! - What do you think?
- Gaby, you have to come with me! - What's wrong with you?
Gaby! Gaby!
Let me go!
Come on, mother fucker, get down!
Help!
Gaby! Gaby!
Gaby!
Want some toilet paper, girl?
- There you are, - Thank you so much,
For the baby's mouth,
Isn't breastfeeding wonderful?
Yeah,
Hey, I was breastfed until I was four,
That's why I never get sick,
I'm going to take a call, OK? Sorry,
- Hello? - Hi, Ramiro, I have great news,
Are you busy?
Excuse me, Mr, Héctor, give me a second,
Hey! Respect the positions, dammit!
You, Chulo, stay in the front!
Sorry, but we're here in the real deal, hustling,
Yes, Mr, Héctor?
I got an appointment for Chulo with the owner of the Altético himself,
What?
He'll watch several boys training at 6 in the afternoon,
I showed him the videos you sent me and he liked the kid,
Really?
He will give you what you want,
but you have to impress him today,
Of course, Mr, Héctor, you can count on it,
They will train at the stadium on Insurgentes,
In door 5 you ask for me, Héctor González,
Yes, yes, wait a second,
Girl, could you write on that paper "door 5," please?
As we said,
I will keep 20% of the 5 million,
Agreed?
Of course, I mean, I am a man of my word,
Mr, Héctor, thanks a lot,
It's on! It's happening!
I knew Chulo would help me out of poverty,
Since he was a kid, he was amazing at soccer,
At seven, everyone knew him as the Messi from Tepito,
After his parents died,
everyone in the neighborhood took care of him,
Are you OK?
- Sure? - Sure?
I'm OK, Ramiro,
The kid is fucking charismatic,
I've been promoting him for a year,
Chulo! Don't argue and play! Play!
The problem is that soccer in Mexico
is as corrupt as a cop in December,
No bribe, no game, no matter how good you are,
- Are you recording me? - No, I'm not,
- Why are you recording me? - I'm not, I'm chatting,
One day, Don Héctor got into my cab,
- Good afternoon, Welcome, - Good afternoon,
He was a big name in the Atlético, and I saw my chance!
Whoever sees him play says he's a Mexican Messi,
A player like this is born every 10 years,
Argentina and Brazil have had one, we deserved one in Mexico,
Talent comes from the bottom, I've trained him since he was ten,
His mind, specially, you know the mind,,,
I have to get Chulo into the team to pay my debts,,,
Yes, man, I will pay you,
Something unexpected came up, un-ex-pec-ted,
Didn't see it coming,
,,,and get rid of this damn cab because with Uber,
I can't even afford the gas,
Sorry, can I make a call?
- Last one, - Yeah, it's OK,
Thanks,
Chulito, Chulito, Chulo,
- This is Pollo, - Let me talk to Chulo, man,
I don't know where he is,
What do you mean?
I'm with the cops,
Some guys came looking for him and they beat the shit out of me,
What? But, but why?
I was peeing and they broke in,
They said he had gone too far,
and if I didn't say where he was, they would kill me,
That they were not kidding,
so they hit me on the face and the back,
They broke the couch and they were about to smash the TV,
I said "don't break the TV", but they broke it anyway,
- Where are you? At home? - Yeah, I'm right outside,
I'm on my way,
Close your eyes,
Yeah, close your eyes,
That's it, eyes closed,
- Miguel! - What?
What are you doing?
Giving the dogs a bath,
What about the kid?
Him too,
How many times have I told you not to use my shampoo, Miguel?
It's special for my color, dammit!
- What? - Please, Miguel!
Please go change,
We're running late for the loan thing,
Yes, yes, darling,
And take the kid to Rubí,
Yeah,
But move it! It's for today! Move it!
I love your twerking, it's so original,
when you sway your hips, you get punished by your mom,
- I've turned 15 and,,, - Elías!
- Are you watching porn? - Mom!
I told you to keep out when I'm recording,
I'm watching you, I'm watching you,
I'm going with dad to the bank for the loan thing,
- Watch the house, - Yeah,
- "Yeah!" You moron, - I said yes!
- Don't talk back! - Shut the door, mom!
Shut up!
There he is, come on!
Easy, easy,
I'm here to answer any questions from my friends of the press,
Yes, Martita,
Do you think a soccer stadium and shopping centers
are what the city needs?
Well, the Mundo Verde business and recreational complex
was designed to improve the quality of life of hundreds of people,
Additionally, it will create 2000 direct jobs
and 5000 indirect jobs,
But Congressman, it has been mentioned that bids
have been requested incorrectly and it will only financially benefit
businessman Carlos Sotomayor,
That is incorrect, Miss, you can check that bids
are being requested with complete transparency,
Mr, Sotomayor's companies
were just more beneficial in terms of competitiveness,
even though over a dozen companies were called,
When will the demolition and construction begin?
Well, we just legislate,
Now it's up to a judge to give an independent verdict,
Thank you, thank you, my friends of the press,
Congressman Juan Carlos Fonseca denied several accusations
claiming that South American businessman Carlos Sotomayor
has bribed a number of institutions
to win the most important bids for Mundo Verde mega project,
Come on, you assholes, did you eat tuna fish again?
I can't smell it, sir,
How come?
It reeks, goddammit!
I had some for breakfast but it was outside the car, boss,
Can't you have eggs or tamales like the rest of the country,
fucking Guadarrama?
- I even got chewing gum, sir, - Just shut up, already,
- Hello? - Javier,
How are you? I'm so pleased to hear from you!
- How are you? - Very well, thanks,
I just gave a conference on the benefits of our project,
Yeah, I saw you on TV,
I'm worried that complaints just keep growing,
Don't worry, brother,
Tomorrow the judge will give his verdict and bam!
We're on the safe side,
Did you give him what I sent you?
I'm on my way there, don't worry,
He'll have it before noon,
OK,
Listen, why don't you come over tonight?
I'm having a cocktail to celebrate,
Oh, brother, it's all luxury with you,
Bye,
OK, assholes, pay attention,
You're going to the Supreme Court
and giving this to Miguel Hernández,
- Miguel Hernández, Yes, sir, - He'll be waiting for you,
He's the judge's assistant,
Take a picture of him and his ID,
Miguel Hernández, judge's assistant,
- Careful, - Copy, sir,
Your folder, sir,
Careful, I don't want any trouble,
"I don't want any trouble,"
What?
Come on, just park the car!
We'll be late and it's your fault,
Why my fault?
Do you have coins for the parking meter?
- No, - What do you mean no, you turd?
Check again,
- You didn't tell me, - "You didn't tell me,"
I can't tell you everything, dammit, you're not a child,
You're staying here,
So if the inspector comes, you move and tell him you were leaving,
I'm going to the bank,
You made me put on a suit and tie to come!
What am I supposed to do, you dipshit? We can't even pay the parking!
You're so fucking useless,
Now you're staying here for being such a birdbrain,
I told you, you stank like tuna, you fat fuck,
I gave you half my sandwich, it may have been you,
I don't "vurp", you asshole!
It's "burp", not "vurp",
Here's Mr, Culture and Teachings, dude!
Dude, I did go to middle school,
- OK, OK, - Why don't you run for president?
The first thing I would do as president
would be to send you back to Honduras, you fat fuck,
But I'd take the bag with the money, right?
You dick!
It looks like a shitload of cash, huh?
You know, Chávez?
We should run away with the money
and fuck everything!
No, man,
The boss would kill you and your family before you reached Cuernavaca,
Even if it's in Tepetongo, but I'm taking it and spending it,
Stop, fatso,
It was here,
Back up, fatso, back up,
It must be that guy standing there,
Hi there,
José Chávez, at your service,
Miguel Hernán, it's my pleasure,
Give me your ID, please,
I was going to feed the parking meter,,,
I thought it wouldn't take long,
We won't be long, it isn't necessary,
I just need a picture of you to send to my boss,
Just to be sure,
OK,
Let's see,
- Ready, sent, - Are you from the loan?
I wouldn't know,
I was just told to give this to you and record the delivery,
OK?
Thank you, bye,
Let's go,
Is Pollo here?
Pollo?
Fuck me!
What did they do to you?
They beat me,
But they were here for Chulo,
Where is Chulo?
Well,,,
I haven't seen him in three days,
- He's out getting wasted, - Why?
What can I say?
He got involved with Gaby,
Gaby? Who's Gaby?
You don't know Gaby?
Gusano's woman,
The head of the Tepito gang!
Holy shit,
Fucking three-way shitshow!
Like any smart person knows, Venezuela is in chaos
thanks to that idiot in power
and his so-called revolution of the people,
And the people have no bread in the supermarket,
nor drugs in the drugstores
or money to buy them,
There's no food, no drugs, no fruits, no nothing,
So Mexico has received thousands of Venezuelans,
including beauties who have found opportunities as usherettes,
and some, as escorts,
- Why did you squeal, asshole? - It wasn't me,
Then who was it?
It turns out Gusano, head of the Tepito gang,
fell for Gaby
and became obsessed,
And understandably so,
She turned all heads when she set foot on the street,
It was on a Holy Saturday, among buckets of water,
that Chulo also fell for her,
They fell in love and met in secret for months,
Until Gusano found his messages,
You're crazy!
Answer the phone, fuck!
Come on, boy, leave me alone,
Gaby disappeared and Chulo, depressed,
got fucking wasted,
- When was the last time you saw him? - He used my toilet three days ago,
Fucking bad luck, Pollo,
It came in the worst time, dammit,
I got a call from Atlético,
They want to meet him and close the deal,
Nah, I don't believe you,
I swear, man,
We have to find him and take him to the stadium,
- I'm coming with you, - No, Pollo, You already got beaten up,
I'm his trainer, I have to go,
You always get in trouble,
Listen, Rita,
Why don't you ever leave my hair as I asked?
I said thick, Rita, Thick, Thick,
Yeah, but I can't go any thicker,
Your hair is so damaged,
Rita, please,
Elena, you look lovely with red hair,
- Really? - With makeup, you'll look even better,
Really?
- Sure! - Hey, uncle,
Hi, sweetie!
Holy shit! Who kicked your ass?
Chulo is in trouble and they're after him,
And you, Ramiro, what are you getting these kids into?
Quite the opposite, René, I'm trying to help,
No, don't give me those tales,
There's no time for that, have you seen Chulo?
I haven't seen him for more than a month, he's out with that Venezuelan,
- What about you, Rita? - Nope, sorry,
That Chulo boy, he's a heartbreaker,
He won't get caught,
My niece, Beba,
is always drooling over him,
Chulo this and Chulo that,,,
That short, fat, ugly one with big boobs is your niece?
You wish you had half her meat!
Oh, that's why I love you, girl!
- Beba! - Beba?
- Beba! - Beba!
Beba!
- Who is it? - Pollo,
- Pollo who? - Come on, Chulo's cousin,
What do you want?
Can we talk with you?
- What for? - We're looking for Chulo,
- What Chulo? - Stop playing around,
- Please open up, we come in peace, - Come on, Beba, it's important,
- What happened to your eye? - They want to kill Chulo!
OK, come in, before they see you here,
Chulo! Chulo! Chulo!
What happened to him? Chulo!
He's wasted, he hasn't stopped drinking,
He is blind drunk!
He won't stop talking about that migrant,
Let's sober him up, quickly!
Beba, get me all the milk you can!
Yes, I have lactose-free milk,
Whole milk! Move it!
- You, help me! - Yes,
- Chulo! - No, no!
Go get a bucket, hurry,
- What for? - For his puke, you idiot,
Chulito, wake up!
Beba, the milk!
I did tell this asshole:
"You lower my wage, you force me to steal,"
He thinks I was born yesterday,
There's no respect,
We can't go on like this, it's not possible,
I think we have to redefine everything,
All of it,
Excuse me, gentlemen, I have to get this,
Yes, sir,
What's with that picture, asshole?
It's Miguel Hernán, sir,
Hernández, you fuckhead!
Miguel Hernández!
Not Miguel Hernán!
This fucker isn't the judge's assistant, asshole!
But his name is the one you said, I have the picture of his ID,
Listen, fucking Chávez, if you don't bring back that briefcase,
I swear you are fucked, asshole!
Wait, wait, boss,
We just delivered it, we'll get it back,
- Do it, dickhead! - Turn around, man,
Go back, dude,
What did you do, man?
Boss, give me a coin for a taco, please?
Please,
Fuck, he's gone!
Motherfucker!
Holy shit, Miguel!
There's millions here! Millions!
Yes! Yes!
We can buy a new car now!
Forget the fucking car!
We can buy a kickass house, with a pool, huge windows,
smooth floors and no leaks,
Fuck! I can already picture that,
They must have taken me for someone else, they asked if I was Miguel,
So I said I was,
- But who were they? - I don't know,
Chávez! Hold on, Chávez, I'm losing you,
OK, there,
Look, Chávez, the briefcase has a GPS linked to my phone,
They're taking Circuito Interior,
Sir,,, what's a GPS?
A tracker, idiot, a tracker!
Yes, yes, yes, sir,
Oh, no!
- Fuck me! No, no, no, - What, what?
Something is turning on and off,
Some light, like a Christmas light,
Listen! They just entered Ecatepec!
Yes, sir, we're already on Circuito,
Step on it, fatso!
Wait, we could get fined here,
Fuck the goddamn fines, you idiot!
You just lost millions!
Yes, sir,
"Yes, sir, Yes, sir,"
I want to burn your fucking feet!
We're near La Raza, sir,
I'm going to move the money to your bag, just in case,
- Yes, that's fine, - Yeah,
- How am I driving? - Shut up!
Wait, wait, wait,
They've stopped,
I'll send you a picture with the location,
- Tell me when you have it, - Yes, sir,
- Are you happy? - Yeah, very happy,
But open up, so nobody sees us,
- It says it's around here, - What did you get us into?
Tell me!
- What are you doing, you asshole? - Can't you see I got scared?
- There it is, dude! There! - Where?
It's empty!
Fuck!
Elías, son, we're back,
Let's show Elías the money,
No, we better hide it, quickly,
OK, OK,
- Here, hold this, - What are you doing?
I'll be right back,
When I come back, we'll get organized, OK?
Keep an eye on it,
Wait, I can still see it,
There it is, I'll be right back,
- Where are you going? - I won't take long,
Miguel, I'm warning you, don't tell anyone,
- No, no, - I won't be long,
- There,,, there we go, - Very good,
That's it, enough,
- That's it, - There, he got his milk,
It's just a matter of seconds,
Are you serious?
Gaby, Gaby, Gaby!
- No, no, no! - Hold him, hold him!
Beba, turn on the shower, come on,
And you, dude, help me undress him,
- Me! Me! - What? The shower! Do it!
Help me!
Chulo, come on, help!
Cut it out, Chulo, come on!
It wasn't me, it wasn't me,
Chulo, baby, a shower will make you feel better,
Come on, baby,
Beba!
Help us push, you can flirt later, come on!
Cut it out!
Come here, to the shower,
- Get in there, - Good!
Put your head down,
There you go,
There we go, that's it,
There,
Now I'm out of water,
Do you like that or is it too tight?
That's fine,
Do you really like that one?
Yeah, it's pretty,
Do you like it?
- What's up, fatso? - We don't have him yet, sir,
But we know where he is,
- Where is he? - I've told you everything I know,
Let me go, you dick!
You've been on that for days, fatso,
Don't call me until it's done,
Claudia,
I said it was for something elegant, a nice, classy event,
She looks cheap,
Why don't you give her the small, green one?
- The green one? - Yeah, the green one,
- Yes, sir, - Thank you, Claudia,
But why don't you like it?
Sorry, baby,
You look cheap,
Come in, come in,
- Thanks for letting us in, Satur, - Welcome to my office,
Come in, come in,
- I'm cold, - Here, easy, let's see,
There we go,
What's wrong with him?
He's unconscious, doctor, he's been drinking for days,
We need him back, Saturnino, he has to play soccer tonight,
Don't worry, I know what to give him,
Hold this, please,
The other day I was called to save a dying horse,
I gave it 8 mg of betazole,
6 mg of yohimbine and 2 mg of altered hydrocortisone,
Did it revive?
Immediately!
The bad thing is, five minutes later, it got a heart attack,
- No, - Yes, may it rest in peace,
A stallion about this big,
Beautiful creature!
- Did it die, Satur? - Yeah, yeah,
And the thing is hydrocortisone should have been given orally,
not injected because that provoked a reaction,
- No - What?
But that was hard to know, right?
Is that what you're putting into my Chulo?
Coqui, shut up, dammit,
- I'm helping this young man, - What are you going to give him?
- OK, move over, Move, move, - No, no, no,
I need to see his buttocks, turn him over,
That's it, uncover his buttock,
Showing his buttock, there we go, all set,
We're ready,
Here we go, baby,
Wait, wait, wait, Saturnino,
Tell us what you're giving him,
Goddammit, Ramiro, don't move my hand!
If I do this incorrectly he could be paralyzed, you know?
Let go!
- I know what I'm doing! - OK,
- You're making me more nervous, - Yeah,
One, two, three, uno, dos, tres!
- Goddammit! - Chulo!
Chulito,,,
What happened?
Relax, chill pills, everyone, chill pills, easy, easy,
- What the fuck? - Is he alive? Is he?
- Fuck yeah! - I was scared!
Evening,
We're here to pick up our puppy,
Put your gun away, things are hot here,
Put it away!
Sir, excuse me,
Do you know this person?
- Yeah, I know him, - Where does he live?
I can't tell you,
Why can't you tell me?
Because I don't know who you are,
I mean, I don't know who I am,
But I love you, I love--
No, wait, wait,
Get off! Get off!
- What would you like? - Ma'am, do you know this person?
Let me have a look,
- Miguelito! - Yes, Miguelito!
Where does he live?
A brochure?
We have monthly, interest-free payments in all blenders and washing--
- I'm here to pay off my debt, - Good afternoon,
Welcome to El Buen Mueble, how can we help?
By letting me pay off my debt,
Certainly, we're here to help,
Could you please give me your Buen Mueble card,
to check your current balance?
Hello, hello, One, two, One, two,
It's done, miss,
Anything else we can help you with?
No,
You know what? Yes,
Show me your most kickass washing machine,
Juicy princess, juicy mama, juicy baby, the remix,
Rosita, you're so juicy, mama,
This is from the Turtlewash brand,
It gives you penetrating stimulation without damaging your clothes
and holds up to eight cushions,
I want to show you, let's enjoy,
We have the capital to squander,
Let's go to the mall,
No restrictions,
go get your esquite,
Let's go shopping, buy that blouse--
That's the one,
,,,there are no excuses,
You're my princess, we're royalty,
At school, they respect me, you're the flirtiest,
Juicy princess, we're already 15,
Miguel!
Miguelito!
Hello,
I'll be right with you, I'm just going upstairs,
- Get him! Get him! - Let go of me!
Everything fits in here!
Meats, legumes, and even vegetables!
- Where's the money, asshole? - Nice to see you,
The ladies who have bought it have been very satisfied,
You'll tell me where the money is on three,
or I'll kick your ass!
I left it on the sidewalk, because it wasn't mine,
- It was a mistake, right? - Fuck off!
- Are you fucking with me, asshole? - No, no,
I like your twerking, it's so original,
One!
Your mom grounds you when you move those hips,
I'm already 15--
Talk!
,,,no coincidence that you're my birthday present,
This one fits 17 kilos,
It leaves everything clean, clean, clean,
No need to wring it out, it comes out nice and warm,
Juicy princess, we're already 15,
Hello, Mr, Accountant
Why haven't you killed them?
I was told Mr, Gusano wanted to talk to them first,
- Is Gusano coming here? - I think so,
It stinks in here,
- Open the windows and clean up the blood, - Yes, sir,
If Gusano gets here and sees this place, he'll be fucking pissed,
- Trust me, - Yes, sir,
- Come on, mop it up! - OK, dammit, I'm getting the mop,
I don't want to die,
Sorry, Beba, this was my fault,
- Chulo - What?
I got you an appointment with the owner of the Atlético,
What?
I got you an appointment with the owner of the Atlético,
Yeah, they were going to hire you,
We have to be at the stadium by six,
Well,,, I won't be able to go,
Really? Are you kidding?
We have to get out of here,
Come on, Chulo, apologize to Gusano, I beg you!
No, no way!
Fuck this shit, you're an idiot,
- We're almost there, boys, - Yes, Ma'am,
Almost there, just be careful, these are brand new,
Don't stir them up much, they might get ruined,
Hey, Toñita, bye!
Family! I'm here!
Look at what I bought!
No! Holy shit, holy shit!
What did you do, Miguel?
I got a beating,
What do you mean?
- They took it, - Elías, Elías, son,
Elías!
- Wait for me, - Elías, Elías, Elías, son!
- You are such an idiot! - What's wrong with you, mom?
We just got robbed and you're here like a retard
with your headphones, that's what's wrong!
What? I didn't hear a thing!
God, God, why did you send me only stupid men?
Come help me with your dad, he's all wrapped up,
- It's OK, - Look at what they did to him,
Dad, what happened? What did they do to you?
Go get scissors, go get scissors!
What did you buy, mom?
Ma'am, where do we leave the washer and dryer?
No! Why me? Why me?
Fuck!
Give me some space here! Fucking asshole!
Calm down, fatso,
Don't crash, that's enough bullshit for today, man,
Boss, boss, relax, we recovered the money,
- Is it all there? - Yeah,
Well, we have to check it, because they changed bags,
but I think it weighs the same,
OK, get over here,
I don't know what I'm going to do with you idiots,
- The three of you, - Look,
What a hottie!
- Fatso, a checkpoint, - Fuck!
Hang on, boss, I'll call you back,
There seems to be a checkpoint, we have to stop,
A checkpoint?
What kind of checkpoint?
Chávez! Chávez!
Good afternoon, gentlemen, how are you?
Good afternoon, officer,
This is just a routine operation,
We have to inspect your vehicle and check that you bodyguards
have everything in order,
No, but we're nobody's bodyguards,
Aren't you?
No,
So what do you do for a living?
We're going to an expo,
Which one?
A wedding expo,
What?
My buddy here is getting married, right, bud?
Yeah, Yeah,
And why are you dressed the same?
Why are you wearing matching suits?
It's a formal wedding,
So you're on your way to the wedding?
Pardon?
Are you on your way to the wedding?
Yes,
Do you think I'm a moron or what, you dick?
No,
R5!
- Get away, dude, get away, fatty, - How?
- Step on it, - He's in front of us!
- Be careful, - Just step on it!
- You're going to kill him! - Stop, you bastard!
- Why did you tell him to get away? - Stop, stop!
Stop, stop!
- Get out of the car, you bastard! - Easy, easy,
Captain!
- This asshole,,, - You're confused,
- Get those bastards, - I didn't do anything,
You almost killed me, you son of a bitch,
Captain, come here,
What? What's up?
- Check this out, boss, - Is it drugs or what?
- Just open it, boss, - Let's see,
- Look, - Fuck me!
Guys, guys!
I need backup, they're armed!
They're armed!
Hands up! Hands up!
Give me that, you shit,
- Thank God you tried to run me over! - I didn't!
Don't move, it'll sting more,
- It stings, Carmen! - What do you expect?
They beat the shit out of you!
- Fuck, - How many were they, dad?
Well, three,,,
maybe four,
You should have defended yourself,
What did you take karate lessons for?
Karate taught me to be peaceful,
You should have picked up courage,
It was the chance to change our fucking lives!
You know, I really don't like how it looks,
You look bad, really bad,
Why don't you ask your uncle Genaro to have a look at you?
He helped me with my varicose veins,
My phone, I left it,,,
in the bag they took,
No, no, no! I told you! I told you!
We lost even the fucking phone!
What else did they take in the damn bag? What?
The track pants I wear for aerobics,
the yellow ones,
What if we activate Find my iPhone on your phone, dad?
What's that?
Call him!
- Boss,,, - What is it, dickheads?
Don't yell, we're calling in secret,
Don't be stupid!
They're counting the money in the other cop car,
- Wait, where are you? - Well, in a cop car,
I know, you dickhead!
But what street?
On the corner of Morelos and Olmecas, sir,
Give me the car number,
Zero, two,,, Zero, four--
- Zero, two, four, thirty-eight, sir, - Transit police?
Wait, they're coming, I'm hanging up,
Hello?
Don't hang up on me, you sh--!
OK, fuckheads, you're telling me where that money came from,
Officer, we didn't know we had that money,
Bullshit, of course you knew, What do you think?
Armed and with money,
This is beyond clear, partner,
Do you traffic people, drugs, or are you hitmen?
We just had orders to deliver it, sir,
Where and to whom?
Officer, we can't give you that information,
What do you mean you can't, you mother fucker?
We just had to deliver it,
Look, I will tell you one thing, you idiots:
you got into fucking deep shit,
There are several millions in that bag,
and that calls for a federal investigation,
And guess what's going to happen?
We'll get orders to confiscate that money as evidence,
And you, bunch of losers,
will be sent to the Attorney Genaral's Office,
You'll sing like canaries,
You know how they roll over there,
And from experience I can say
that an investigation like this takes, what? Two years?
- Three years, - Three years of your worthless lives,
Think about it, three years in the shade, you shits,
What do you say?
- Think it over, you idiots, - Listen, officer--
OK, dad, done,
What's your email?
Miky with K,
- Like this? - Without a C,
Just Miky, M-I-K,
A small Y,
Like that?
Yeah, Miky Solís, like you spell Solís,
1975@hotmail,com,
My son! I knew that all that time on the computer
would amount to something,
Now, your password,
My password? Let's see,
Niurka
sixty-nine
chiquita,
What?
- That's not it, - It isn't,
Let's see, Ninel
formiguel
seventy-five,
What's with those passwords? What's wrong with you?
- What? They're private! - "They're private!"
This is it!
It says they're on Morelos avenue,
Fuck yeah! Fuck yeah!
Let's go get the loot!
What?
No fucking way!
In fact, I'm calling my uncle, the Rat, to helps us, OK?
- The Rat? - Yeah,
Are you nuts?
Why do you always make a fuss about everything?
You're always making a fucking fuss,
Who's the fat girl?
We don't know, sir, she was with them,
Hey, Chulito,
How are you?
I'm talking to you! Can you hear me or what?
I'm fine, you asshole, I'm fine,
How's the soccer going?
Are you playing in first division, big leagues, and all that?
Chulo, apologize to Gusano, I'm begging you,
Why would he apologize to me?
He can do whatever he wants with his little dick,
Right, Chulito?
I didn't call you to create conflicts or trouble,
On the contrary, Chulo,
I'm just saying hi,
I'm in my apartment, luckily, just chilling,
Check it out,
Yo saw the painting?
I don't know who painted it, but it's fucking expensive, dude!
The kitchen,,, well, I never cook
but I heard it's the best marble,
This here is the bathroom,
It's pretty, isn't it?
Minimalist, they say, or something,
Obviously, I have a tub,
I like to treat my skin well, pamper myself,
- Baby! - No!
- Will you take long? - No, no!
No, no, no, asshole!
OK, I'll wait for you in bed, OK?
You look so hot,
Chulito, what can I say?
I became a romantic,
She hates you, asshole, she always tells me she hates you,
She can't stand you!
What did you say, asshole?
She tells me that you disgust her every time you touch her,
You always disgust her, motherfucker,
Well, Chulito,
Like in soccer,
which you like so much,
I have to call a penalty, you see?
- Gustavo, - Yes, sir,
- Gustavo, do you want to take penalty? - Yes, sir,
Get ready, dude,
Ready?
One,
Two,
- Three! - No!
Goal, goal! What a great goal!
Just like yours, Chulito,
- What leg was that, man? - The right one, sir,
Sorry, sorry,
Referee!
- We know Chulito is a leftie, - Stop!
The other leg, then,
Get ready, Gustavo,
Left leg, you idiot, left leg,
Come on,
One,
Two,
Three,
Put him on his feet,
Please!
- Hey, assholes! - Fuck!
In the end, it's a friendly match,
Treat them well,
Get comfortable,
I'll drop by to say hi before the party,
Start getting my toys ready,
You'll love Paris, you'll see,
You're crazy,
Mr, Congressman, what a pleasure to get your call,
Head Officer, what a pleasure to talk to you,
Are you busy?
No, having lunch, but we just finished,
What can I do for you?
See, I have a little problem, right?
Is that so?
Yes, I was moving some money to purchase some lands,
You know, family assets,
Yes, you have always been a family man,
Yeah, well,,,
Unfortunately,
my boys were stopped at a checkpoint,
And you know I firmly believe in obeying the law,
But this time, I am in an unfortunate outlook, right?
Because the money I got confiscated was my family assets,
That is terrible,
Yes, my brother, I'm very nervous,
And how much are we talking about?
Ten million,
You don't say!
- That's it, sadly, - What a shame, brother,
And, well, I wanted to see if you could help me,
I have the cop car's number and location,
When did this happen?
Just now, less than ten minutes ago,
Are we in time?
Well, let me see,
Look, I'll say this with the affection I have for you,
Solving this will be hard,
Other instances may be involved,
Also, things are getting tough
with this whole transparency and austerity thing,
You understand, brother?
Yes, my brother, I do,
Look, my fate is in your hands
and I will show you my gratitude,
I'll be honest because I trust you,
OK, tell me, then,
For this, we'll need to retain at least three million,
What do you think, brother?
Son of a bitch,
Sure, brother, my hands are tied, right? What can I say?
Well, send me the cop car details,
Here they are
Yeah?
You're crazy,
Wait, wait, there's the gray truck you said,
Yeah, it's them,
The bag must be there, it must be there, Miguel,
No, let's go,
The cops are there, Carmen,
Don't be a pussy, Miguel,
The bag with our money has to be there,
Enough, Carmen,
These guys are heavy, stop,
Cool down, sunshine!
Carmen, what color is the bag?
This is the Rat Hernández,
Although he looks old, he is clever as hell,
He's famous for having been the city's most wanted burglar,
Hernández was a master of burglary,
With class and elegance, he broke into rich people's houses
to then spend the loot with them
in the most prestigious night clubs and restaurants in the city,
I think it's a very wise decision,
For 30 years,
the Rat Hernández would break into houses in Mexico City
and the metropolitan area,
Please move over,
Aren't you ashamed of being a crook?
I'm no crook,
I'm a burglar,
I am not violent, gentlemen,
The dude was also a ladies man and a master of disguise,
Newspapers called him the Mexican Houdini,
HE ESCAPES AGAIN!
And to add to that, he was Carmen's uncle,
Wait here,
I'm going to check what's up,
Yes, uncle, OK,
So what's up, tough guy?
An agreement that benefits both parts or the law?
What's it going to be?
Officer, I have no authorization to engage in dialogue,
Bullshit, asshole,
"Engage in dialogue,"
Who do you think you're talking to, you idiot?
"Engage in dialogue!"
He's insane!
It's your ass on the line here!
Don't you get it, you dipshit?
You think your boss is going to stand up for you?
You're an idiot and so are you two
Tomorrow he'll have other bodyguards driving around Polanco,
And what about you, assholes?
Locked in, cuffed and maybe even picking up soap,
How does that sound?
Think it over,
- Captain, - What?
The Head Officer wants to talk to you on the phone,
Damn, I wonder what the Head Officer wants?
Hello? Captain Morales here, at your service,
Commander, this is Head Officer Genaro Villaseñor,
At your service, Head Officer,
We have been informed of the item you have confiscated,
We're on it, sir,
Look, Morales, we know where it came from,
Congratulations on the good work
My personal assistant is on his way to take over,
OK, as you say, sir,
And don't worry,
you effort will be acknowledged,
Goddammit, I'm fucked!
The boss is really creative, you should've seen him the other day,
Yeah, the boss is great,
He grabbed that switchblade of his and cut up a guy like a chicken,
It looked like a casserole, man,
- Shit, it's an earthquake! - Nah, it's just a truck,
- Holy shit! - Fuck this!
Shit, it is an earthquake,
Let's go!
Don't leave me here!
- That's my fucking uncle! - Wait, it's an earthquake!
Wait, you'll be OK,
Fuck!
Earthquake!
The bag! The bag!
Fuck yeah, he got it!
Fuck yeah, I told you! Fuck yeah!
It's the Lord's punishment!
- The building is going to fall! - Gustavo, come here!
- Where is Chulo? - Well, in there,
Well, go up there, nothing is falling!
They're going to run away!
They ran away, boss!
- Well, go find them, you idiots! - Come on! Let's go!
Ramiro, the truck!
Wait for me! Wait!
Wait, wait!
Help me with Chulo!
Over there! That way! Catch him!
Where are they, mother fucker?
They went that way,
Over here! That way!
Catch him!
The dude with the dolly!
- Where? - He's over there!
He must be over there,
Check down there,
Down there!
- Where is he? - He ran away with a dolly,
- Cover that exit, I'll go this way, - Let's go!
He must not get away,
Taxi!
Follow that piece of junk over there,
Hurry!
He got away,
Let's try over there! Let's go!
Where's the guy who had this bag?
- He just left, - And where did he put the money?
- I just sold him a Saint Jude, - A Saint Jude?
A Saint Jude?
Welcome, we're starting your trip,
Should I follow the app or do you have a preferred route?
No, follow the app, please,
OK,
Fuck me,
Hello?
Where's my money?
I ran into trouble, but I'm about to solve this
because I know where it is?
Where are you?
On my way to C5, that's where I'm solving this,
Hello?
Would you like a piece of candy?
No, thanks, I'm fine
Or would you like some water?
Thank you, but eyes on the road, please,
Chávez, what's up?
Boss, I'm following the person I initially gave the bag to
by accident,
And why the fuck?
I'm sure they has something to do
with the guy who ran away in the market,
What market, you idiot?
Let me talk to Ortiz,
You see, boss, I'm alone, Ortiz isn't here,
I'm alone in a cab,
And who the fuck told you to split up, dammit?
I thought that if we split up and I followed these people in the cab,
maybe I could,,, I don't know,
- Fucking shit! - Should I change the radio station?
I couldn't care less about the music or the temperature!
I don't want any candy and I'm well hydrated!
Now shut up and take me where I said!
Sure, the app says we'll be there in a minute,
Shut up!
What's your emergency?
Attention!
We have a visit from the Head Officer,
Operators, I need your full attention,
Please pause every activity,
From this moment on,
I need everyone to search for a Saint Judas Thaddeus,
Did you hear that?
Search for a person dressed like Saint Judas--
No, no, no,
I mean a person carrying a figure of Saint Judas Thaddeus,
OK,
We have been told
that inside the figure, there are millions in cash,
Listen, motherfuckers, you look for that Saint Judas,
Whoever finds it, gets a double bonus!
Move it!
You heard him! A double bonus!
- I found it! - Location,
Corner of Santo Tomás and Carretones, near La Merced,
Send the nearest unit immediately,
Send a unit,
Santo Tomás and Carretones, outside La Merced,
Good, very good,
Look, there it is, we found it,
Check that Saint Judas,
Check the inside of that Saint Judas,
I repeat: check the inside of that Saint Judas,
What's wrong with you? Fucking pig!
Calm down, police operation,
It was empty, wasn't it?
- It was, sir, - Pity,
Ask for backup,
- I have another one here, - Where?
- Chapultepec Avenue, - Very good, very good,
- I found another one! - Another one!
- I have mine here! - Another one!
- And another one! - Found one!
Me too,
- See, it's the 28th today, - So what?
It's the day in which worshipers take their Saint Judas to be blessed,
For fuck's sake!
Where are you, Ortiz?
We were told the money was inside a Saint Judas,
- We're looking for it, sir, - But where?
In the San Hipólito church,
- What? - The San Hipólito church,
Worshipers come to--
Look, Ortiz, I don't get it,
Could you tell me where you are and--
Hello?
Sir? Sir?
- Did he hang up on you? - Yeah, man,
Here! Thank you!
Thanks! It's fine here!
Fuck!
It stinks in there!
I feel like a dog, what a fucking day!
Thank God for the earthquake, Beba, thank God!
I think we'll have to leave the city until this cools off,
- Yeah, but where? - No, what about the Atlético?
That's over!
Can't you see your legs are screwed?
No, I've had worse,
- I just need some ice and I'll be fine, - You are screwed insane, man!
Also, the appointment was at six,
- It's six now, we won't make it, - Yes, we will!
- Chávez, - Boss?
I just got kidnapped,
What?
You have to take the money to the judge before ten or they kill me,
Boss, boss, where are you?
Give the judge the money before 10, fuck!
Also can't we just tell them we'll be a bit late?
You are not playing with messed up ankles,
Look, godfather, just trust me, OK?
Just give me boots my size, and that's all I need,
This is our last chance,
How long have we been after this?
Stinking like this, they won't even let us on the bus,
Lend me some money, I spent it all on the boots,
- What for? - What do you mean? For a cab,
- I spent all my money on these, - Fuck off!
- You fuck off! - OK, relax,
I have 50 pesos and 40 in the subway card,
It should be enough, right?
I want to see Carlos, assholes,
This is bullshit!
Easy, fatty, easy,
Carlos! Carlos!
You can't treat me like this, I'm your partner,
No, I have never had partners,
They always let me down,
I swear the money was stolen, How could you think I'd steal from you?
One thing that pisses me off
is when people think I'm stupid,
I can't stand it,
I've been to the shrink because of it, you know?
I can't control myself,
Nobody thinks you're stupid,
Stop playing around, I'm a federal Congressman!
Think about what you're doing, Carlos,
Congressman!
Fuck that, man!
That's good!
You know, you're too naive to be a politician
Let me read what my people have been working on,
"Federal Congressman Javier Fonseca
was found dead this Saturday morning
inside his car on Viaducto,
Although the cause of his death is still unclear,
everything indicates it was a suicide,
Inside his car,
copious amounts of antidepressants were found,
along with a letter to apologize
and say goodbye to his children and wife,"
Fuck you asshole!
Nah, Congress monster,
Don't worry, you still have two hours to get my money here, mother fucker,
- Carlos, I can explain, - No, no, enough,
It's my birthday today
and you attitude of yours is getting me down,
Carlos!
Come on! Carlos!
Get your quality chocolate bar, only 10 pesos!
We're like three stops away,
- Chulo, put it in, - Wait, Beba, it's too cold!
Put your foot in there!
The manure will help regenerate your mother cells,
Mr, Héctor,
this is Ramiro, Chulo's manager,
Hey, how did it go?
Well, I wanted to tell you we had an issue,
but we're there in 20 minutes,
What?
You're still not there?
No, but we're already in--
Don't fuck with me! You're busting my balls!
The recruitment must be over by now, Ramiro,
- It's just,,, look-- - You're making me mad,
Please don't call me again,
All that nagging for this!
- Goddammit - What happened?
Wait,
I said don't call me, fucking Ramiro,
Please, just listen,
Today has been a horrible day,
We got robbed, beaten, you know,
we live in a shithole and we just can't get out of it,
and I don't have the nerve to tell Chulo that,,,
well, it won't happen,
So I beg you, let me get to the main man
to try and convince him, please,
You don't get it, Ramiro, my boss is a bastard,
By now he must be going home because he's celebrating his birthday,
And,,, could we drop by and talk to him?
No, fuck off, bye,
I'll give you half of what's in Chulo's contract,
Did you say half?
Yes, half,
I swear!
You're something else, Ramiro,
You won't regret it, you won't, you'll see,
But I can't promise anything, OK?
Especially if you're late and my boss is drinking already,
- OK, - Write this down:
Monte Azul, 14, Lomas de Chapultepec,
Quick! Excuse me, please!
It's an emergency!
Please, excuse me! Let us in!
Here's the entire loot, my niece,
Awesome Rat, you rock!
Ortiz, dude! I can see the bag!
Get your hands off!
Here, the 500 thousands we agreed,
It has been a pleasure working for you,
I'm in the Alameda, get the fuck over here, now!
- Come, Chulo, sit here, - Yes,
And put the boots on to see if you can walk, come on,
And can you walk straight?
Yeah, I'm fine, I just don't want to wear out,
Oh, man, they're so swollen!
It's OK, as long as you can walk, right?
And this isn't training, we're just going to talk,
Yeah, just help me get there and I'll manage after that,
OK, then, lean on me,
Don't make an effort,
Hurry up, you moron! And drive fast!
We're going to get Elías and we skip town today!
- But hurry, dammit! - I'm coming,
Hold it, motherfuckers!
Not again!
Easy, easy,
Don't do anything stupid and walk to the toilets there,
- Don't pull me, - Now!
Why are you dressed like that?
- Well, it's just-- - No, no, no, Hurry, let's go,
You know what? Wait here,
Damn, what a swanky party!
Shut up, Pollo!
Look at these hotties!
Shut up!
,,,import and export,
Holy shit!
It's Gusano!
Shit!
Boss, sorry, can I have a minute?
What is it?
Come here, get closer,
I'd like you to meet this young man who's a very promising rookie,
Lots of teams are actually interested,
Why didn't you go to today's recruitment?
We had an accident, sir,
Come on, Héctor!
Why did you bring them here?
I'd like you to watch the boy play,
He's amazing!
If you can't be on time for an appointment,
how can you expect to play on my team?
You're stupid!
Please give me a chance,
I'll score so many goals, you'll forget this whole thing,
Is he that amazing?
Remember the videos I sent you?
That's him,
In fact, they have an appointment tomorrow at the Azteca,
Yes, I'll do whatever you say,
You know what?
You can play out here,
Now?
Against whom?
My security team,
Yes, sir,
He really wants to play, right?
Yeah, yeah,,,
Yeah, yeah,
- OK, let's go, - Let's go,
That's what we're here for,
Warm up and score many goals,
Boys, leave your guns,
It's your chance to prove you're not slackers,
Double payment for whoever scores a goal,
Let's go, they're going to shoot us,
Relax, I don't think,,,
Gusano would dare to do anything here, in front of everyone,
What the fuck are they doing here?
- Fucking power mob, - Look,
Let's focus on playing and winning,
What's all this about, bro?
I'm checking out a kid to see if I buy him for my team,
Chulo?
You know him?
A great player,
I can recommend him,
He's really good,
There's 700 thousand missing! Where are they?
I bought a washing machine, a dryer and a fridge, any problem?
I'm talking to the man of the house, not to you, you fat bitch,
We also gave a part to the Rat
because he took it from the cops,
We want our slice, you bastards!
You wrecked our house!
Why me?
I want this fat fuck to shut up,
- Carmen, - What?
- Shut up, please! - No, I won't shut up,
You know what?
What if you give us a part and we'll cut it out?
This is your part, motherfucker,
- Carmen, shut up! - We'll get the rest later,
We have to hurry so they release the boss,
We have a better idea,
- What are you talking about, - Chávez,
If we run away, they kill the boss,
We can keep it all, dude!
Think about it!
We split it in three equal parts,
- Four, you crooks, four! - Shut up, Carmen!
- You're insane! - Why?
Come on, motherfuckers!
Let's go, before it gets later!
What are you doing, asshole?
Are you going to shoot me, dude?
- Think about it, Chávez, - Shut up, fatso!
- Drop it, - Your drop it, mother fucker,
And you shut up,
Only an idiot like you
says no to 3 million in cash, think about it!
Don't be stupid!
I'll count to three and you'll put it down,
- Listen to us, man! - One,,,
Come on, don't be stupid!
Two,,,
No!
- He killed him! - Yes!
They're going to kill us, they're going to kill us!
We just made three more millions,, dude,
Let's go,
OK, first goal wins,
Don't play dirty and watch the fists,
- It's on! - I got it! I got it!
Fucking bitch!
Fucking dirty bastard!
Close!
That was a foul!
Fucking pigs!
It was a foul, it was,
Move!
Chulo, Chulo!
Chulo!
What the fuck, dude, I'm right here,
Come on, Chulo!
¡Tequila!
Come on, you idiot, help me!
Move, asshole!
What the fuck, dude?
- Pass it, Ramiro, don't be a ball hog! - Again, again
- Godfather, give it to me! - Open up!
Move, assholes, move!
Out of the way!
- What the fuck? - Careful, asshole!
Come on!
Come on, Chulo!
Foul! Foul!
That was a foul!
Fucking fatso, don't tackle like that!
- Are you OK, son? You OK? - Yeah,
No, no, the game is ruined, let's go,
No, no, no!
I can go on!
Alright, go on then!
Move!!
Get out of the way!
This is it, fat bitch, you're screwed!
- Let her go! - Get off me!
What the fuck?
Go, Chulo!
Goal! Goal!
Goal!
You're the man!
Chulo!
That's it!
See you tomorrow at the stadium,
OK?
Yes, sir,
- OK, - Yes, yes, sir,
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Well played, congratulations,
- I'm a star! - Congratulations,
Guys, I'm taking your star,
- What? - But,,, but,,,
- What do you want? - Shut up,
What do you want?
- Chulo, you have to go, - Are you going to keep humiliating me?
They're going to kill you, dammit!
Who? Your boyfriend?
You have no idea what I've gone through, no idea!
What does he do to you? Tell me!
- It's horrible, Chulo! - Tell me!
- Let me go, OK? - Calm down,
He's a lunatic,
If I'm not with him, he'll kill us both, Chulo,
- He won't do anything to you, - He will!
Look, how romantic!
So cute!
Shut up, slut, shut up!
You, asshole, stay still!
You already played the hero, didn't you?
Take them away! Now!
Shut up! Let's go!
- Let me go! - Come on, let's go!
Gusano!
- Javier? - Help me!
- What the hell? - It's a mistake, I'll explain later,
Help me!
- Are you OK? - Yeah, this is a mistake,
- Did you get in a fight with Carlos? - No, no, no,
Sorry, sir, you have to see this,
What is it?
I'll be right back,
Fuck yeah, man!
I'm going to kill you, asshole!
Just mess with me again!
Fucking crazy lady!
Calm down, you lunatic!
Get up!
Get up, hands in the air!
Hands in the air!
Come on, it's my birthday!
Carlos, my people called, they're on their way here with the money,
- You don't say, - I swear,
Tell me where you got the balls
to bring your shitshow to my house, Gusano?
I'm going to kill that bastard,
Yeah? Cool,
He messed around with my woman,
What did you expect? The Virgin Mary?
Don't mock me, man,
OK, let's see,
Look, I understand you feel like the big shit,
that a drug dealer's life is cool,
But, to be honest with you,
uneducated fuckers who can fire a gun,
there are too many,
And you bringing your armed monkeys to my house
shows me I can't keep working with you, asshole,
Well what can I say?
There's also too many white, bearded, almost businessmen
who can launder my money,
Excuse me, have you seen Chulo?
I think they're busy, we'll be right back,
Sorry, excuse me,
This retard! Get him!
Where are you going, asshole?
Bye, fatty,
Boss!
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's get out of here! Let's go, Ramiro!
You bastards!
Chulo!
Lower your head, man!
Gaby!
Chulo!
Gaby!
Chulo!
Chulo! Chulo! You got shot!
Easy, easy, it's just the shock,
Chulito, you really are stupid,
I'll sell you some bullets,
Three for 10 pesos,
Chulito, life really doesn't like you,
It's destiny, man!
Fucking destiny, man,
TWO WEEKS LATER
Joaquín Pérez Ledesma, the city's Head Officer, is with us today,
- Welcome, Officer, - Cristina, good afternoon,
Thank you for having me,
A shooting between bodyguards and drug dealers,
and an unprecedented incident:
a congressman accused of murder,
What does this mean for our city?
To me, Cristina, this is a clear example that our battle is working,
The confiscation and investigation of that bag with 6 million pesos
and the arrest of congressman Javier Fonseca,
are unquestionable proof that our fight to clean the city
is working,
And we'll keep on doing it no matter what,
Head Officer, who killed Alberto Gómez, known as Gusano?
Cristina, that is information I can't make public,
since the investigation is still open,
But I guarantee you, I promise, we will find the culprit,
This is the first time a congressman loses his privileges
to be tried for the murder of businessman Carlos Sotomayor,
Any words to the press, sir?
Evidently, this is a scheme to hinder my party's agenda,
But we won't stop, we won't be silenced!
Mexico must change,
And I'm not going anywhere, I'm here to face this,
Because this will be solved,
Welcome, good afternoon,
We have monthly payments, interest-free
for washing machines and blenders,
If you need me, let me know, I'm Miguel,
Miguel, OK?
Well done, kid,
You are awesome!
Let's go, boys!
Remember the plan, give the ball to Kevin, he's the only good one here,
The rest, defend,
No, no, no, wait, not quite like that,
Play, have fun, sweat
and, if you can, pass the ball to Kevin, OK?
Come on, to the field!
One, two, three, Tepito Junior Team!
Yeah, let's go!
- Focus! - To your positions!
Come on!
Goal!
Excellent, Kevin!
That's my boy!
You know, Pollo?
Kevin is going to be the Mexican Messi!
Damn, I was just thinking the same thing!
Right?
We have to train him well, prepare him,
- He's the one! - Hell yeah!
I'll be his trainer!
Ref! That's a foul!
No, you fucking pig!
- Olga! Olga! - Coming,
What's up, Carmelita?
Write down 250 for Chivis,
You play dumb when you have to pay, dude!
Toñita, relax!
You're manipulating my tendon harshly!
That's why I get in a bad mood, dammit!
Play, already!
Calm down! What's your rush?
Here's the trouble you love,
The club!
What the fuck did I just say?
Mr, Hernandez, your drink,
Thanks, young man,
- Cheers! - Cheers!
Action!
I'm here to cancel my debt,
Good afternoon, madam--
I'm coming,
Here, here, here!
- It's the 28th, - So what?
Worshipers take their Saint Judas to get baptized,
I mean, to get-- You know what I mean,
To get blessed, man,
I spent it all on this,
I told you to buy just one, man,
Fuck that!
I have 50 pesos and like 40 in my subway card,
Let's see if it's enough,
Why are you laughing?
This is a disgrace, man, not just anyone,,,
Cut!
Help me!
Where are you going?
She crushed my hand, but it's OK,
- We don't have time! - Wait, I'm checking the scents,
I'll go get the short-- I mean, the boots,
What else is there in the bag?
The track pants I wear for aerobics,
the yellow ones,
What else is there in the bag?
I'm talking to you!
What else is there in the bag?
The track pants I wear for aerobics,
What else is there in the bag?
No, no, let's do it,
- OK, sorry, - Sorry, sorry,