رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال
Good evening, everybody,
I'm Astor Grey,
and you guys are in for a real treat,
because tonight, for the first time
in front of a live audience,
I will be performing my one-woman reenactment
of Weekend at Bernie's,
♪ There is a city by the sea ♪
♪ A gentle company ♪
♪ I don't suppose you want to ♪
♪ And as it tells its sorry tale ♪
♪ In harrowing detail ♪
♪ Its hollowness will haunt you ♪
♪ A plaintive melody ♪
♪ Truncated symphony ♪
♪ An ocean's garbled vomit on the shore ♪
♪ Los Angeles, I'm yours ♪
Thank you,
♪ Los Angeles, I'm yours ♪
You should absolutely say yes,
Brandyn is so hot,
and he's got a lot of great connections,
Do you think he messages a bunch of women
asking them to record with him, though?
Probably, Who cares?
Okay, make sure he wears a condom,
and then text me if it gets too weird,
Dude, I don't know,
It just seems crazy, He's a total stranger,
What if he's, like, a complete wiener?
He's not a stranger,
He's Brandyn Verge,
I bet the sex will be great,
Come on, you deserve to have fun,
Fuck,
Okay, Oh, my God, I'm gonna say yes,
And just pray that I don't end up
on the next episode of My Favorite Murder,
He's not gonna kill you,
Besides, he put you on his social media,
- That is a declaration of love, - I don't know,
After my video, he posted a bunch of cats
he wants to adopt, so,,,
- That is so sweet, - I know,
Maybe he wants to adopt you too,
I hope so,
Sorry I'm late,
- God, you look stunning, - Thank you,
I think I'm a little overdressed,
No, I'm-- I'm just a slob,
- Nice car, - Thanks,
You live on a boat?
Yeah, it's tiny, but it's perfect for me,
Cool,
Um, I got a crazy idea,
What are you doing tomorrow?
I don't know, What's happening?
Well, I just wanna take you to the weirdest place on earth,
What, you wanna go to Disneyland?
No, it's a surprise,
You're not gonna murder me
and throw my body in a ditch, are you?
Well, you're not gonna murder me
and throw my body in a ditch, are you?
I guess we just have to trust each other,
Okay, let's go,
So, I'm so hungover, Just barfed my brains out,
Couldn't hardly stand, No passport, by the way,
The lady at the Delta counter, she's like,
"Sir, I think you're in the wrong San Juan,"
You're so stupid,
Yeah,
No offense,
Come on,
Your first concert was Willie Nelson?
- Yeah, - That is so badass,
Wait, how old were you?
Uh, I was, like, eight or nine,
Okay, Yeah,
Nice,
Okay, so, was Mom a cowgirl or a pothead?
Mom is a Venice Beach hippie,
Hmm, Pothead, Got it,
I mean, maybe back in the day, but not anymore,
At least not to my knowledge,
Mm-hmm, Right,
So, what does Secret Stoner Mom do now?
Mom is a painter,
- You guys close? - We are, yeah, Um,,,
she brought me to so many great concerts when I was a kid,
and she had this old record player,
and she would basically give me music history lessons,
I can still picture her just
digging through these massive stacks,
- Yeah, that's the best, - Yeah,
Okay, what about Dad?
I never knew my dad, actually,
He-- he died surfing
when my mom was, like, nine months pregnant,
Oh, shit, I'm sorry,
Oh, it's okay, Thank you,
Um, he's always been more of a concept to me, really,
Um, but my mom was actually there when it happened,
He-- he paddled out,
and then he just never came back,
- Fuck, - Yeah,
Um, she just sat there on the beach all day,
just praying, but they never found his body,
Man, that is-- that's heartbreaking,
Sorry,
And Mom's, like, dated around a little bit,
but I swear she, like, intentionally picks losers
so that she won't get attached, you know?
- Oh, no, That's the worst, - Yeah,
I think she just never really got over my dad,
- But,,, - Yeah,
What about you? Are you close with your parents?
- Who, Bob and Cindy? - Yeah,
Well, uh,
when I was about five,
Bob found the requirements of fatherhood too trying,
So, you know, he bailed,
Cindy was pretty bitter,
She worked all the time,
But when she wasn't working, she,,,
told me to leave her alone and locked herself in her room,
Just-- I think I look too much like my dad, really,
It's just like a-- like a bad reminder,
I'm so sorry,
You were just a kid,
You know, it's water under the bridge,
I still send her an Edible Arrangement
every year on her birthday, 'cause she loves that shit,
So I do it,
Oh, yeah, We're here,
Oh, my gosh,
This place is big,
Yeah, well, it belongs to my manager, Tom,
Wow,
- Look at the stars, - Yeah,
You know, I don't really believe in coincidences,
I think something special brought us together,
Other than the Instagram algorithm?
So, does affection make you a little uncomfortable?
No, I don't know,
I just, like, make stupid jokes when I'm nervous,
Don't be nervous,
Let me give you a tour, This place is sick,
♪ When the day, it won't erase the night ♪
♪ When you find yourself hurting ♪
♪ When you're looking for some good advice ♪
♪ When the bottle's not working ♪
♪ It'll be all right ♪
♪ Everything will be all right ♪
♪ I am on your side ♪
Beautiful,
Yeah, I think it was one of Dylan's,
Tom's a big guitar collector, so,,,
Oh, my God,
Are you sure it's okay if I play it?
Yeah, it's cool,
Okay,
Well,,,
Mmm,
- Okay, - What?
Uh, I've never played this for anybody before,
I just wrote it,
- All good, - Okay,
♪ Maybe I'm afraid ♪
♪ Of the worst of it ♪
♪ Maybe I'm alone ♪
♪ Feeling lost again ♪
♪ Keeping my hopes ♪
♪ Where they ought to be ♪
♪ Should I speak my mind ♪
♪ Or should I wait and see ♪
♪ Take your time ♪
♪ Take what's mine ♪
♪ I'll give it all to you ♪
♪ Tell me once ♪
♪ And I'll tell twice ♪
♪ Give it all to you ♪
Holy shit,
Astor, your voice is insane, That was incredible,
Thank you,
God, you are extraordinary,
Do you have any idea how much you turn me on?
Rise and shine,
Didn't we just go to bed?
We got shit to do,
I don't suppose you're gonna tell me where we're going,
Of course not, Come on, you can sleep in the car,
Come on,
What is that smell?
Ah, rotting fish,
I think we learned about this place at school,
- Salton Sea? - Yeah,
Isn't this, like, an ecological disaster?
Yeah, pretty much,
They stocked the sea full of, like, millions of fish,
People came from all over,
But they knew it wouldn't last that long
'cause with no fresh water coming in, it'd get too salty,
What happened to all the fish?
They died, And a bunch of birds, too,
- Oh, that's so sad, - I know,
Weirdly, I can relate,
- To a poisonous lake? - Yeah,
You know, at first it's new and exciting,
and everyone wants to be close to you,
own a piece of you,
And then, over time, they find the next new cool thing
and stop giving a fuck about you,
You're just left salty and reeking of death,
God, you're mean, Jeez,
I'm sorry, but this smell is killing me,
Yeah, it's pretty bad, Wanna get lunch?
- Yeah, - Okay,
Okay,
Tell me a secret,
Secret?
Oh, man, I don't know,
Well,,,
there is one thing,
But I've never told anybody before,
The definition of a secret,
No, but this is really bad,
You're gonna think I'm a terrible person,
No, I doubt that, Go ahead,
- I killed a cat, - Like, with your bare hands?
No, it was,,,
God, I'm gonna start crying,
It was an accident, I hit it with my car,
Okay, no, that's different, I hit a deer,
You know, it's really hard to avoid animals on the road,
No, this was my fault,
I was texting and driving, and it was in a neighborhood,
so I know it was somebody's pet, and it just breaks my heart,
I can't believe I just told you that,
Your secret's safe with me, It's all good,
I'm gonna get another beer, You want one?
Uh, no, I'm okay,
You wanna shoot some pool?
Sure, yeah, but I'm not very good,
No, me either,
Why aren't there places like this in LA?
You know, I swear,
when people stop giving a shit about me,
I'm moving out here,
I'm gonna try to buy this place,
Maybe I can be the house band,
Do you feel like people don't care about your music anymore?
It doesn't seem like that to me,
I mean, you know, there was a moment
when I thought I was gonna be something big,
and that just, uh, never really happened,
♪ And I'm the one who oughta know ♪
I'm not trying to sound ungrateful,
It's just, you know,,,
I thought there'd be more,
- More what? - I don't know,
♪ Yeah, I'm the broken-hearted fool ♪
All right, wanna get out of here?
Sure,
♪ Oh, I'm an insider ♪
♪ I've been burned by the fire ♪
♪ And I've had to live with some hard promises ♪
♪ I've crawled through the briars ♪
♪ I'm an insider ♪
- Well, I got some bad news, - Where are we?
I'll tell you where we're not, Near a gas station,
Are we out of gas?
You ever hitchhiked?
Are you serious?
♪ It's a cage without a key ♪
♪ And you can feel the danger ♪
♪ Yeah, and I'm the one who oughta know ♪
- What in the world? - That's you in five years,
♪ Yeah, I'm the one you couldn't trust ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm the lonely, silent one ♪
How you doing?
Any chance you could maybe take us into town?
Uh, come on,
Thank you so much,
Really appreciate it, man,
♪ I'm an insider ♪
♪ Oh, I'm an insider ♪
All right, Hal, Thank you so much, man,
Yeah, I, uh, don't know how you plan on getting back,
Uh, most folks around here ain't as sweet as me,
I reckon I better give you a lift,
Oh, that would be awesome,
Thank you,
Better watch that,
How long have you been out here?
Too dang long,
If there was ever a nothing bill,
you'd probably wanna stab your stake right here,
Now, they keep talking about wanting to clean up the sea,
but us locals would wish they'd just leave us the hell alone,
- Yeah? - Should we do it?
- Yeah, - All right,
Hey, man, thank you again, Really appreciate it,
Dude, I ain't taking no $100
just to give you a ride to the damn gas station,
Thank you,
You know, uh,,,
scorpions only interact between courtship
or cannibalism,
You take care, sweetie, You look like a nice gal,
Thank you,
That was fun, huh?
Yeah,
Got a present for you,
Yeah, baby,
I thought it looked sexy on Hal, but I think you got him,
♪ A-haw haw haw-haw ♪
♪ Heh, a-haw haw-haw ♪
♪ Well, I hear it's fine ♪
♪ If you got the time ♪
♪ And the ten to get yourself in ♪
♪ A hmm, hmm, hmm ♪
Wow, smells great,
- Thank you, - Can I help?
Yeah, you wanna make the salad?
- Sure, - Great,
So what are we having?
Well, tonight we'll be enjoying
a lovely whole salmon filet
with mustard sauce over wilted greens
accompanied by a salad and a delicious Pinot noir
from the Willamette Valley in Oregon,
- Ooh-la-la, - Yeah,
Where'd you learn to cook?
My ex got me a bunch of cooking lessons one Christmas,
You know, before she fucked my drummer,
How long were you two together?
We dated for five years,
Uh, pretty sure Rachel cheated on me on our honeymoon
and then managed to stay together for three,
I'm sorry, It sounds like it's still painful,
We don't have to talk about it,
It's fine,
I try not to shy away from pain,
Healing hurts, and the divorce was, like, a year ago,
Plus, I just met this fantastic girl,
Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, - Tell me about her,
Well, she's a fucking smoke show,
Oh, gosh, looks are so subjective,
And she's smart, sexy, funny,
and her voice just takes me to another place,
♪ Show me where I belong ♪
♪ Belong, belong, belong ♪
You know, I opened for these guys in 2010,
Fifteen truck show,
- What? - Yeah,
That is fucking crazy,
It is crazy, yeah,
I mean, those big productions are rough,
but-- but I'm glad I did it, I guess,
So, if you could go anywhere in the world,
where would you go?
Well, I've been everywhere
and seen nothing but hotels, tour buses, and green rooms,
and everything pretty much looks the same, so,,,
But there's no place you wanna go just, like, for fun,
just as a tourist?
Well, I don't know, Um, okay,
I had the best buffet of my life
at a titty bar in Jackpot, Nevada,
It cost, like, three bucks, It was so good,
I swore I'd always go back,
Okay, how about you, Astor?
Where are you dying to go in the world?
I have never even left the United States,
Come on, not even Mexico?
I know, it's so crazy,
Well, we should go tomorrow,
The border's, like, less than an hour from here,
Or we could stay here,
You know, I got a masseuse that makes house calls,
I mean, that sounds amazing,
but I have an audition tomorrow, and dinner with Noelle,
- Who's Noelle? - She's my bestie,
Okay, and the audition?
It's a car commercial,
What are you doing in said car commercial?
I don't know,
I think it's something silly, like,
Cute Girl Number Two or something, I don't know,
It's just-- it's just till I make enough money for music,
Okay, just be careful with that,
What do you mean?
Well, the acting stuff,
You know, it'll confuse people,
If you wanna be successful in music,
you got to be, like, focused on one thing, you know?
Yeah, but I,,,
I have to pay my rent, you know?
And as much as I love my mom,
I can't move back in with her, so,,,
You should come on my next tour,
As your opener or as your road bitch?
- Both, - Don't tease me,
I've always wanted to be someone's road bitch,
No, I'm serious,
We got a few dates in Europe next month,
You should totally come,
I mean, that sounds incredible,
Okay, I'll talk to Tom, Make it happen,
Okay, I guess I can skip the audition,
- Noelle won't mind, - Yeah,
Oh, Mom, I like him so much,
He's-- he's so intelligent,
and he's really sexy,
and, I don't know, He believes in me,
Brandyn Verge thinks that I'm the real deal,
That is just wonderful, sweetie,
Yeah,
All right, we're moving on,
You have an audition this week, right?
I don't know, I think--
I think I might stop with the acting stuff
and just-- I don't know, I think it's gonna confuse people, so,,,
Well, how are you gonna pay the rent?
I am gonna see if I can pick up another night
at Silver Lake Lounge, so that'll cover my rent,
Great,
Oh, are you cold? I have an extra sweater,
Oh, thank you,
Thanks again for the tickets, by the way,
Thank Morgan for getting sick,
Honestly, I don't know if I can kiss her anymore,
I mean, after hearing her hock up loogies for an entire week,
Ew, my God, Doesn't she cover her mouth?
No, not always, Ew,
And, um, I wanted to say sorry, I fucked up,
I should've texted you before I left for the desert,
Thanks,
Okay, now give me all the details,
Seriously, it was, like,
the best three days of my whole life,
We went on this amazing adventure,
and we listened to music,
and we talked, and he cooked for me,
And did y'all fuck?
Um, duh,
- That's my girl, - Yeah,
Dude, it was-- it was so good,
Ben and Justin were, like, teenage boys,
Brandyn is a man,
He actually looked at me when we were having sex,
- Whoa, - I know, It's crazy,
Okay, did he stick anything weird up your butt?
Oh, my God, No, Jesus,
- The line's moved a little bit, - Okay,
- Oh, fuck, - What?
- It's Brandyn, - Is everything okay?
Oh, I don't know,
He's just-- he's been drinking, He's asking for a ride,
Tell him that you're waiting in line for the show,
Yeah, I did already,
Can't he ask one of his friends?
I don't think he really has any friends,
He says he's lonely, I feel really bad,
What if he, like, drinks and drives,
and then he hurts himself or he hurts somebody else?
For fuck's sake, he's got, like, a whole team of people,
This would be the second time you bailed on me this week,
I'm not bailing on you,
- I just really like him, - I thought you liked me too,
I love you, That's not what I'm saying,
You know that's not what I'm saying,
Can I just Venmo you for the ticket
and call you tomorrow?
Okay, whatever,
- I love you, I'm sorry, - Bye,
Have fun, I love you, Bye-bye,
I love you, Sorry,
I'll remember this forever,
Okay, sorry,
You guys wanna be my friend?
Hey,
- You okay? - Hmm?
- You all right? - Mmm,
Oh, God!
Oh, no, Oh, be careful,
You okay?
Shit,
Oh, come on,
Oh, God,
You're a fucking terrible driver,
Well, give me a break,
Only old people know how to drive a stick,
Can you just stop?
Okay, I can't listen to that anymore,
Move it, I'm gonna drive,
- Seriously? - Yeah,
I left Noelle and a concert to come help you,
I'm not cool riding around with your drunk ass,
Well, I'm not cool with you leaving
my transmission on Wilshire,
So fucking skedaddle,
- Come on, - Oh, my God,
Fine, whatever, I'm gonna get an Uber,
All right, Suit yourself,
♪ I'm afraid of the work it might take ♪
♪ What if I'm good but I'm not great? ♪
♪ What if I'm good but I'm not quite great? ♪
♪ And what if I'm good but I'm not quite great? ♪
Rise and shine, Astor Grey,
Morning,
How'd you get through the security gate?
Jumped the fence,
Hi,
Come to apologize for ruining my Saturday night?
I got breakfast,
You're perky, considering,
Well, you know,
drank some Red Bulls, recorded all night,
Johnny came over, We made a reggae album,
- A reggae album? - Mm-hmm,
Oh, it's fucking, like, death metal reggae,
We did a cover of "No Woman, No Cry,"
- I like Bob Marley, - Of course you do,
I mean, don't get me wrong,
Bob Marley is a perfectly acceptable introduction,
There's just so much better stuff out there
that people never listen to, you know?
Like, um, Winston Rodney, Toots Hibbert, Frankie Paul,
You can't really call yourself a reggae fan
if you only listen to Marley,
Sorry,
Okay,
- Did you get this from Superba? - Mm-hmm,
- How long was the line? - Fucking stupid long,
But, you know, you said you loved those things, so,,,
- Thank you, - Kiss me, We'll call it even,
I haven't brushed my teeth yet,
Well, come on,
Put some pants on, dragon breath,
- We got shit to do, - What's going on?
We're gonna fucking record your LP,
That's what we're gonna do,
- Okay, - Yeah,
- Let's go, Hurry up, - Okay,
♪ I'll give it all to you ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ I'll give it all to you ♪
Damn, I think we got it,
Are you sure? I mean, we just did one pass,
- I think I could do better, - Trust me, babe,
I'm a pro, You nailed it,
This is so exciting, What do we do next?
Well, you sign this contract,
BNA puts out your record, and I make you a star,
How does that sound?
Too good to be true,
Just sign it right there,
Um, I mean, shouldn't I have Kate take a look at this?
Honestly, got a ton of respect for Kate,
but she's taken you as far as she can,
I'll manage you,
With my connections and your voice,
the sky is the limit,
I don't know, Um,,,
I don't know, I mean, I've been with Kate for a long time,
- I really trust her, - What? You don't trust me?
Of course I do,
It's just a standard contract,
♪ Hey, little girl, is your daddy home? ♪
♪ Did he go away and leave you all alone? ♪
♪ Mm-hmm ♪
♪ I got a bad desire ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire ♪
♪ Hey, little girl, is your daddy home? ♪
♪ Did he go away and leave you all alone? ♪
♪ Mm-hmm ♪
♪ I got a bad desire ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire ♪
♪ Tell me now, baby, is he good to you? ♪
♪ Can he do to you the things that I do? ♪
♪ Oh, no, I can take you higher ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Sometimes it's like someone took a knife ♪
♪ Baby, edgy and dull, and cut a six-inch valley ♪
♪ Through the middle of my skull ♪
♪ At night, I wake up with the sheets soakin' wet ♪
♪ And a freight train runnin' through the middle,,, ♪
So I rewrote the album, like,
an hour before the studio session,
Oh, I just booked work for tomorrow,
Car commercial?
- No, I skipped that, Remember? - Not really,
- What's the gig? - Soda,
I'm playing a sexy astronaut,
Babe, you can't keep chasing cash
if you're gonna succeed in this business,
Yeah, I get it, I just-- I have bills, so,,,
Well, you could move in with me,
Wouldn't have to pay rent,
Problem solved, What do you think?
That's a really nice offer, but,,,
I love my boat, and we just met,
It's not like I ask many people to move in with me, you know?
We have such a good time, You make me laugh,
We could record all the time, Think about it,
I mean, that sounds great,
I just-- I don't know, it's kind of a big deal,
I've never lived with anybody except for my mom,
Listen, I-- I kind of need to know
if you don't wanna have an adult relationship, you know?
I can't really waste my time with some casual thing,
It's not really my vibe,
You know what I'm saying? 'Cause I felt--
No, I said no, I don't wanna go
on the boat with somebody who just did a fucking speedball,
- Shut the fuck up, - Fuck you,
- The fuck? - Leave me alone,
You know what? Shut the fuck up,
- Let me go, - Chill the fuck out,
- Let me go, Leave me alone, - Hey, dude, All right,
- Party's over, okay? - Just leave us alone,
- We're fucking going, - Just let go of the girl's arm,
- Thank you, - Oh,
Why don't you mind your own fucking business?
Oh, my God,
- Fuck! - Yes, babe! Yes!
- Oh, my God, - Fuck you, dude,
Ow,
- Ow, - Oh, my God,
- Oh, my God, Fuck, - I'm sorry,
This is a horrible idea,
I don't wanna fuck up your face,
Okay, well, I don't need to look pretty, okay?
Either you do it or I'll do it,
- Okay, okay, Okay, - Just-- yeah,
- Fuck, fuck, fuck, Okay, - Yeah, just--
One, two, three,
- God! - Oh, my God,
Are you okay?
You okay?
- Yeah, I think you fixed me, - Oh, my God,
Holy shit,
Oh, my God,
Okay, can we talk about you moving in with me now?
Are you serious?
Yeah, we can do the Europe tour next month,
and then, you know, when we get back,
pop over to Vegas, make it official,
Well, now I know you're messing with me,
- Mm-mm, - Didn't you just get a divorce?
Yeah, I did,
But I learned a lot from that shitty relationship,
Mainly that I married the wrong person,
But you know that doesn't mean I don't believe in love,
'Cause I love you, Astor Grey,
I don't know what to say,
Say you love me too,
- I love you too, - Fuck yeah,
Then it's settled, All right,
I need a bong rip and a cocktail,
Fuck, that hurt,
Mmm, I think I need another pill,
Just give it a little time to kick in,
Tell me about your first tour,
Will you rub my head?
- Mm-hmm, - Thank you,
Um, yeah, I think I was 20,
Moved to Nashville,
I think it was, like, 2000,
Wait, How old were you in 2000?
I was two,
So I was in a band when you were born,
That's actually so funny,
Um, I was in a band when I was born, too,
- What? - Magenta Placenta,
Oh, my God, that's fucking weird,
Well, I'm fucking weird,
Oh, God, Thank God you're cute,
What was the name of your band?
I can't remember,
We were awful, I'll tell you that,
Bunch of posers, you know?
Speaking of posers,,,
I have a 6:00 a,m, call time tomorrow,
And cut,
- What's her name again? - Astor,
Hi, Esther, I gotta ask,
Do you want intergalactic peace?
Because I don't really believe that you do,
and I want to believe, Esther, trust me,
So here's what I need from you,
I need you to show me that you believe
that Starship Soda can save the universe,
- The whole universe? - Exactly,
- Except this time more passion, - Oh, sure, okay,
And maybe this time, maybe take a sip of the drink,
Sure, Oh,
All right, let's shoot it again,
Oh, God,
Are you HeyAstorGrey on Twitter?
Uh, yeah, I think so,
So how do you know Brandyn Verge?
- Are you guys dating? - What?
You are so lucky,
No, Brandyn's music, it's gotten me through,
like, every single one of my breakups,
So what's he like?
I'm sorry, I'm so confused, How do you know who I am?
He tweeted something about you guys
making an album, going on tour together,
I figured you guys must be dating,
'cause he hasn't posted about another girl
since that bitch Rachel broke his heart,
Oh, um, sorry, I think I'm wrapped,
Uh, hey, could I get a van back to base?
- Where did you even get it? - Your mom's Facebook,
And you just decided to post
the most awkward photo of me in existence?
Uh, you're welcome, you know,
for producing and promoting your album,
I didn't even know there was an album,
Yeah, well, I wanted to surprise you,
Told you I make shit happen,
This is all very cool, and I'm really grateful,
I just think that I need things to slow down a little bit, okay?
Okay, yeah, well, that's not really how this shit works,
You gotta be able to keep up,
You should've been more up front with me
if you're not serious about music, you know?
That's not what I'm saying,
Look, I'm super tired, and I had a really long day,
so I'm just gonna go home, okay?
What? No, that's stupid, Just stay,
I wanna sleep in my own bed,
Well, I have been waiting all day for you, you know?
I even took a shower,
Put on some smelly stuff,
Sniff me, It's pretty good,
You're gonna like it,
I love you,
I love you too,
Let's go to bed,
Hey,
It just-- Brandyn's ran off,
and he's been just, like, pretty hectic,
so I just trying to give you some news,
Sure, yeah, that'd be great, That'd be cool,
Okay, cool, All right, thanks so much, Kate,
Okay, bye,
Hey,
- Good to see you, - You too,
Rachel,
Yeah, I know, Astor,
So I need you to trust me, okay?
I need you to sit down and listen to Rachel for a minute,
Sorry for crashing your lunch,
Just when Kate told me about you,
I thought that it was vital that we should meet
and, you know,,,
chat,
Okay,
I've known Kate for years,
and she's always raved about you, your music,
and I can only guess the things
that you've heard about me,
He hasn't said anything about you,
That's sweet, You don't have to lie,
I'm pretty sure Brandyn has told the neighbor's dog
that I'm a psycho, I mean, he called my poor mom a cunt
on her church group's Facebook page, so,,,
That sounds par for the course,
I'm sorry, is the point of this just to talk shit about Brandyn?
- No, - Yeah,
Sorry,
Uh, I'm here because Kate said
that you're about to sign a record deal with Brandyn,
We have recorded some of my songs,
- Yeah, - And you guys are dating,
How is that any of your business?
Look, I know this must seem weird, okay?
And I don't want you to feel ambushed, but,,,
Rachel isn't talking shit, okay? She's being honest,
She's here because she doesn't want him
to destroy somebody else's career,
This is not hyperbole, Brandyn is the worst,
Five years ago, I was the biggest believer
in Brandyn Verge, and I managed to convince myself
that we could transcend his resentment and vindictiveness,
because-- because when he binges on you,
it just feels so good,
And then he purges,
Uh,,,
can I play something for you?
Hey, babe, You're probably off, you know,
fucking one of my friends right now,
but I just wanted to let you know
that I did find that diploma, you know?
So just give me an address, and I'll send it to you, okay?
Just after I wipe my ass with it,
Fuck yourself, Cum dumpster,
That was three weeks ago, I have plenty more like that,
I'm gonna go,
I will give you a call later, Kate, when you're alone,
He stole her songs, Astor,
Then this prick threatened me when I called
trying to get the rights back,
All right, this is a vengeful motherfucker,
I'd like to kick the fucking shit out of him,
Just be careful, Please,
I was an idiot in love,
I signed that stupid contract without even reading it,
Show me the contract before you sign it,
Um, hey, do you think we could talk about my contract?
Yeah, of course, Wait,,,
are you already demanding more money?
- Holy shit, - No, I just, um,,,
I don't know, it seems--
it seems like maybe you own my songs now,
Well, BNA owns the songs on the album, you know?
But they're my best songs,
Which is why they're on the album, babe,
I mean, typically you don't put your worst shit on there, right?
Well, do you think we could take that part out
about you owning my songs?
I mean, it's just our standard contract, you know?
What's this all about? Did you meet with Kate?
You did, didn't you? You know she fucking hates my guts,
She's good friends with my ex,
Yeah, uh, Rachel was there too, actually,
What?
Wait, why was my ex-wife at your meeting?
Honestly, I'm still trying to figure that out,
I mean, Kate reps Rachel too, but--
- Oh, God, - I don't know,
It was-- it was weird,
You know what?
They're gonna try to turn you against me,
I guarantee it,
Well, Rachel did play a pretty nasty voicemail you left her,
You called her a cum dumpster?
- She said it was recent, - Yeah, Yeah,
Look, I may not have been entirely candid with you,
I'm still struggling with this Rachel stuff,
I loved her so much,
and sometimes I don't know how to turn that off,
So, yeah, there's some anger there,
because I'd really like to stop caring,
Clearly she has,
Well, if you want to move on,
then why would you leave her antagonistic messages?
Yeah, Honestly, I don't know,
Why did Rachel marry me and then turn around and fuck Arlo?
Trampling my heart wasn't enough?
She had to destroy me?
And you know what? That worked for a while,
But now she sees me with you, madly in love,
and she is back to her old games,
And, yeah, I-- I definitely drank too much wine,
and said some stupid shit,
I admit that,
Did she mention that I texted her the next morning?
To apologize? No?
Fuck, why won't she just leave me alone?
Hey,
You know I form my own opinions,
- Yeah, - And I want you to be able
to talk to me about anything,
Yeah,
I think Rachel was just looking for drama,
I'm not gonna engage,
I love you,
I love you too,
I think we should adopt a cat,
What do you think?
Hey,
Oh, yeah,
What about Judge Judy?
You wanna watch Judge Judy?
No, silly, For a name,
Don't you think she looks judicial?
- No, - "Hi, Mommy,
"I find you guilty,
"Guilty,"
- So what's your show tonight? - Oh, it's Kicking the Stigma,
It's, like, a mental health benefit or something,
Playing a couple songs,
- You're coming, right? - Of course,
Okay, good,
You think Noelle can come, maybe her girlfriend?
Babe, you can invite whoever you want,
Just text me the names, and I'll have Greta put 'em on the list,
This room is literally not green,
Welcome to the beige room,
Do you guys want some wine?
I'm-- I'm okay,
Oh, do you think Bran's gonna be on soon?
Should we go find our seats?
Well, actually, he said we could watch from the side of the stage
- if you guys want to, - Oh, my God, That's so cool,
- This one is for you, - Thank you,
And for you,
He's still an asshole,
Yeah, I know, He's just a plain asshole,
Hey, do you guys know if Brandyn Verge is playing?
The one and only,
Okay, let's go,
Thank you,
And thank you so much for coming out tonight
for Kicking the Stigma,
Listen, I got a special guest for you guys tonight,
You're gonna love her,
She is an amazing, talented singer-songwriter
with the voice of an angel,
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Renee Merrifield,
Excuse me,
♪ Maybe I'm afraid ♪
♪ Of the worst of it ♪
♪ Maybe I'm alone ♪
♪ Feeling lost again ♪
♪ Deep in my eyes, where they all could be ♪
♪ Should I speak my mind? ♪
♪ Should I wait and see? ♪
♪ Take your time ♪
♪ Take what's mine ♪
♪ I give it all ♪
Fuck! Such a good show, right?
Yeah,
Did, uh, Noelle and her friends leave early?
I must've missed 'em,
Yep,
Are you pissed or drunk? I can't tell,
Well, I'm not drunk,
So you're pissed, Awesome,
You guys played my song,
Is that what this is about?
Oh, for fuck's sake,
Did you hear what I said at the end?
I gave you a massive shout-out,
God, I thought you'd be thanking me,
not give me the fucking silent treatment,
♪ But you're pushing hard enough to breach ♪
♪ Once you love me ♪
♪ I'll take it from you ♪
Ow! Stop! Fuck! Ow!
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Oh, my God,
Fuck, Oh, shit,
- Fuck! Oh, my God, - Shit, are you okay?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You're pissed off at me, - so then you run me over?
What-- No, I was parking, and you fucking jumped out,
Why the fuck would you keep driving
- when I get out of the car? - Let me look at it,
- I'm sure it's not that bad, - Don't fucking touch me,
Fine, All right, just get in the car,
I'm not going anywhere with you,
Okay, I'll call an ambulance,
I can't afford a fucking ambulance,
Well, I'll pay for it, Jesus Christ, Astor,
- What do you want from me? - I want you to leave me alone
so I can get an Uber to fucking urgent care,
- Just get in the car, please, - Oh, my God,
Okay, come in the house for a bong rip, all right?
Just relax, You know, it'll help a little bit,
You're acting a little crazy,
No,
Astor!
What the fuck?
Seriously?
You're gonna get in that stranger's car?
Hey, lady, is that guy bothering you?
I'll jump out and I'll smack the shit out of him,
Uh, that-- no, that's okay,
I just fell,
Okay, Let's go,
What are you doing here?
Just wanted to make sure you're okay,
Mm-hmm,
What's the verdict?
It's not broken,
Rite Aid didn't have one that said,
"Sorry I ran over you," so,,,
God, I feel so terrible, Astor,
But, you know, it was an accident,
I can't believe you could think otherwise,
Even if it was an accident, it was an accident you caused,
Yeah, I take full responsibility,
I am so sorry, I just-- I hope you can see that,
I just,,,
I've never loved someone like this,
Believe me, I would rather hurt myself than you,
Sometimes I feel so connected to you, and it feels like
the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me,
But then, I don't know, you're just--
you're so different, and I don't know
which version of you I'm gonna get,
The-- the sensitive, funny guy,
or the celebrity asshole that I'm embarrassed
to introduce to my friends and family,
Look, I made a mistake, Many mistakes,
But that doesn't mean I don't wanna build a life with you,
A loving, respectful, trusting life
where we can be open and free to create music together,
I mean, don't you see what we have? It's so--
it's so special,
I want that too, but I just don't know,,,
I promise,
You won't be sorry,
So you're living here now?
Well, no, Not, like, really,
I sold my boat, so,,,
- That's good, - Yeah,
Oh, guess what?
I got 4,000 new Instagram followers,
- Oh, that's cool, - Pretty sick,
Um, so did he ever give you an explanation
on why he played your song without asking you?
Um,,,
I don't know,
I think he was just trying to surprise me, you know?
But the fact that he believes in me
gives me this whole new level of confidence,
Like, he could've chosen any song, and he chose mine,
And, uh, we're just gonna skip over the fact
that he hit you with his fucking car?
Dude, he didn't hit me with his car, okay?
He ran over my foot, And he feels really bad,
and he keeps on apologizing, He feels really bad about it,
So he hurts you and then says some sweet things to you
and maybe gives you some treats,
and now you're just cool with it?
What is your problem with Brandyn?
You're the one that told me to go out with him
- in the first place, - Yeah, to hook up, and, like,
have fun, and not move in here with him,
If that's the way you feel, then why did you even come over here?
Because you are my best friend,
And if you're hurt, of course I'm gonna be here,
But if you want me to, like,
fawn over your rock star boyfriend,
then you should call one of your stupid friends,
because it's crystal clear to me and everyone who loves you,
this guy fucking sucks,
Hey, Thought I'd join you guys,
You're not leaving, are you, Noelle?
- I am, Brandyn, - Oh,
All right, see you later,
Hey,
Look at that,
Got those Spanish olives you like from Erewhon,
- Thank you, - You're welcome,
Oh, babe, hey,
- It's okay, - No, it's not okay,
My best friend fucking hates me,
I thought I was your best friend,
It's just music and the streetcar,
It just was all so romantic,
Maybe I'll run away to Lisbon,
Sorry, Mom, I need a minute,
Is everything okay?
Yeah, I just need to make a call,
Okay, why don't you meet me at the Thai place?
- Okay, - Yeah,
Mom? Mom, can I please borrow the car?
- Are you okay? - Yeah, Um--
Or, no, I don't know,
Brandyn, he's freaking out and he's making these threats,
so can I please just borrow the car?
- He's threatening you? - No, Mom,
Uh, I don't know, I don't know,
He said he was gonna kill himself,
but now he's not answering his phone, so,,,
Astor, that's serious, He needs some professional help,
Mom, come on, If anything happened,
I would never forgive myself, so can I please borrow the car?
- I'll drive you, - Okay, let's go,
- Okay, - Okay, let's go,
Hey,
What the fuck? You can't just barge in here,
Seriously?
After all those messages you left me?
I was at the movies with my mom, by the way,
- I left you a note, - Okay, um, you're a liar,
a slut, and I'm too busy for this bullshit drama,
so you can just go, Thanks so much,
Are you kidding me? Less than an hour ago,
you said you would jump off a bridge
if I didn't answer your call, and now I'm a slut,
How fucking drunk are you?
Okay, please, don't flatter yourself,
I'm not gonna kill myself over you, all right?
You are an immature, spoiled brat, eating your $5 croissant
somebody waited an hour in line to buy,
You've never been to a store to buy a record,
You fucking download 'em
and breeze past each song for 30 seconds,
You will never relate to any true artist,
much less be one, because there's nothing original
or exciting about you,
You're a fucking basic bitch, a nobody,
and I cannot believe I fell for your shit,
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Do you really think that you and your stupid-ass dyke friend
can come in here in my house and judge me?
Get the fuck out of my studio, you fucking wannabe,
Here, Take your fucking records,
Here you go,
Go fuck yourself, Brandyn,
Don't kill the cat,
Dude, what are you doing?
Please don't text him back, He'll never stop,
I'm not, I just changed his name,
I'm so fucking stupid,
I fell in love with a monster,
I'm worried about you, sweetie,
You need to take care of yourself,
I know,
With every breath,
becoming more aware,
releasing the negativity and tuning in,,,
,,,to your intuition,
I gotta get back on stage,
Great, And that is one of the reasons I wanted us to meet,
I got a call yesterday from Hobie Ashman, okay?
Runs Nomad Records,
He got a hold of your EP, and he was impressed,
Whoa,
How did he even hear it? I don't even have a copy,
Wait, you don't have a copy of the song that you recorded?
Brandyn did a limited press,
- and then he broke all of them, - Wow,
So, any recent run-ins with this prick?
According to Pitchfork,
he's in New York recording a new album,
Oh, well, that figures,
Brandyn always thought he was too cool for LA,
Legend in his own mind,
Thank you,
Let me get this, since I can't make it tomorrow night,
Happy birthday, by the way,
Big two-five,
Yeah, thank you, Getting older sucks,
♪ Got a sore throat and I keep choking ♪
To my favorite bitch,
I love you so much,
I love you too,
- Happy birthday, - Thank you,
Cheers, guys, Thank you,
What the fuck are you doing here?
Get out of here with this bullshit,
You were not invited, You have to leave, Now,
Leave!
You're a nasty cunt, Noelle,
- Let's go, - Okay,
Fucking weirdo,
Hey, sorry, One second,
Fuck, that fucking sucks,
No, okay, yeah, I understand,
I'll see you this afternoon,
Holy shit,
What happened?
Brandyn has claimed ownership over all the songs on my EP,
So what's gonna happen with the record?
What record?
There's no songs and there's no EP,
There's no record, so,,,
Shit,
So happy I get to finally meet you in person,
I'm a big fan of your music,
Well, I'm a big fan of anybody who's a big fan,
She's funny, You're funny,
Unfortunately,,,
,,,this contract that Brandyn's people sent over,
it's no laughing matter, kiddo,
We're not gonna take it on,
Oh, come on, Hobie,
There has to be something you can do,
This was her first contract,
Nobody looked at it,
- Brandyn took advantage, - I hear you, Kate,
and what Brandyn did was fucked up, all right,
and I'm sorry for you, But,,,
he has a signed contract and a team of lawyers behind him,
And so do you,
The good news, you have an incredible voice,
all right, and a unique sound,
What we need are some groovy new songs,
Okay?
Edge is here,
Oh, thanks, Maddie,
That's my next meeting,
Well, thank you so much for meeting with me,
I will get home and start writing some new songs,
That is the attitude,
- Hobie! My man, - Ah, Yeah,
Please don't tell me you're encouraging
my assistant to quit her job,
Hey, we all gotta chase the dream,
I need you to take this heartbreak,
put it on the page,
You are so talented,
I wanna introduce you,
This is Edgerrin,
He's here making an album
about creating the life you want to live,
- Hmm, - This is Kate and Astor,
Astor's an incredible singer, and Kate, well,
she's one of the toughest managers in the business,
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah,
Maybe I should hire you,
Maybe you should,
- You should, - Thanks, guys,
- I'll call you, - Okay,
Excuse me,
You should, uh, exchange,
Oh,
- Good morning, sleepyhead, - Hmm,
Why are you sleeping here?
I just didn't wanna be alone,
Why? What'd you think?
That sometimes I wonder if I gave you the right tools,
What does that mean?
Being an artist isn't very stable,
Well, just because you're broke at 50
doesn't mean I will be too,
- Good morning, - I'm sorry, Mom,
I'm sorry, That was so mean,
I'm sorry, I'm just-- I'm in a really bad mood,
It's fine,
Oh, baby,
I want you to be happy and have health insurance,
We're living in a post-joy world, Mom,
Happiness went extinct with the poor rhinos,
They're critically endangered,
Don't ever buy anything with ivory,
Well, the way humans behave, they're screwed,
We're all screwed,
Can I please just go back to bed?
No,
You get to get up
and go get yourself a nice, joyless job
to go along with this sunny disposition,
Or I can just go home and go to bed,
Well, if you can pay your rent,
- I can't cover you, kiddo, - Oh, my God,
Why does everybody keep calling me "kiddo"? I'm 25,
Wow, the Velvet Underground,
Hey, Nooch, Hey, Jim,
- Whoa, - What's shaking, kiddo?
How's the music biz?
It's gnarly,
Hey, sorry, I just realized it's the 6th
and I haven't paid you rent,
I'll get it to you tomorrow, I promise,
Don't you worry about that, angel,
I,,,
have become a millionaire,
What the fuck is that?
- A $10,000,,, - What?
- ,,,bill, - What is that?
Let me see this,
Let me see,
Well, Pink Floyd says, "Money,"
Give me the fucking thing,
I think I'll buy a football team with this,
- Let me look at it, - Sorry, this is my manager,
I got to take this, But have fun, you guys,
What the fuck, man? Is this real?
How is this even real?
Oh, it's a mindfuck for sure,
I was hesitant to even bring this to you,
but the contract is legit, as is the money,
- And it's all Europe? - Yeah, and big venues too,
There are many obvious reasons to say no,
and as somebody who cares about you, I hate this,
But as your manager,
I should tell you that what they're offering is insane
and unheard of at your level,
Shit, I mean,,,
,,,that would cover my rent for, like, five years,
But he's asking me to sell my soul,
Hmm, pretty much,
And they're willing to compensate you
generously for it,
I don't know, I don't know, Kate,
I just-- I don't think I can do this,
There has to be something else, right?
Please?
You know, I'd never ask you
to do anything you don't wanna do,
And this makes my skin crawl,
Brandyn is clearly up to something,
Plus, it'll be fun to tell them no,
I have, like,,,
$17 to my name,
Is it so crazy to say no to six figures?
I wouldn't spend the weekend with this guy
if they offered a million dollars,
much less go on tour with him,
We're gonna find something better,
Yep,
Astor,
You down there?
- What do you want? - Hey,
How are ya?
Okay, I know you're pissed, Um,,,
can I come aboard, please?
- No, - Look,
I just got out of rehab this morning,
and, um,,,
you're my first stop,
On your apology world tour?
Yeah, basically,
I guess I understand why people think I'm such an asshole now,
Yeah, me too,
Is that why you said no?
I don't understand how you could possibly think
that it would be a good idea for us to go on tour together,
Well, because I know that I can't find a better opening act,
I want the rights to my songs back,
Okay,
If I say yes, will you come?
Look, this is a huge opportunity for you
to introduce your music to the world,
'Cause in my opinion, they are missing out,
Dude, this is too weird,
You're just showing up
and saying nice things to me,
I get it, I get it,
You know, it's gonna take us a lot of time
to get used to sober Brandyn, right?
But, um,,,
just give me a second chance,
I fucked up, and I really wanna be your friend,
And I, uh,,,
brought this over here,
This, um, used to belong to Joni,
But, um, yeah, Hope to see you in Germany,
This is the only way that I can get my songs back,
And he's sober now, so,,,
I know you're smarter than this,
Going on tour with a guy who treated you like shit?
You don't need to do this,
Is that really how you see me?
Just as the victim?
No, but,,,
it's an evergreen story,
Older, powerful dude dangles a woman's dreams in front of her,
and then the next thing you know,
she's got cum all over her favorite Gap dress,
Ugh, I hate The Gap,
Me too,
Ugh, I hate that you're doing this,
I swear to God, if he fucks with you,
he's gonna regret it,
I'm sorry I've been such a pain,
I love you so much, and you're always there for me, I'm sorry,
I forgive you,
Just don't ever ditch me for a guy again,
I won't, I promise,
Hello, welcome, I'm Ally,
Would you like a glass of champagne?
Oh, I'm okay, thank you, Um, I'm Astor,
Do you know if there's somewhere I'm supposed to sit?
Anywhere you like,
- Okay, thank you, - You're welcome,
Oh, shoot, sorry, were you sitting here?
No, no, no, you're welcome to sit there,
but you might feel a little more comfortable up front,
- No way, - Yeah,
Oh, that's okay, thank you,
Hey, sorry, excuse me,
Do you know how long this flight is?
Five hours and 15 minutes to New York,
Um, we'll refuel and we'll pick up the band,
and then another nine hours or so to Berlin,
Awesome, thank you,
- Hi! - Hey there,
- Champagne? - Thank you,
- Astor? - Yes?
Hi, this is Greta, Brandyn's assistant,
There's a production meeting at 10:00 p,m,
- Oh, okay, where is it? - Room 304,
Okay, thank you,
You're not room service,
Wanna join?
Guess I learned my lesson about making prank phone calls,
Excuse me?
I should probably say sorry or something,
I'm guessing it wasn't your idea,
- Mm-mm, - I'm Astor, by the way,
Duh, I'm Stassi,
I thought it would be fun to fuck a rock star, but,,,
I'm over it,
I'm flying home tonight,
Yeah, I was trying to figure out a way to warn you,
He's a total asshole,
Yeah, I could see that from the minute I met him,
but I'm leaving because I can't stand his loud-ass snoring,
And the sex is lame,
For the record, I totally would've fucked you,
♪ I know what I'm feeling ♪
♪ But there's a fear in the back of my mind ♪
♪ Mmm ♪
♪ Maybe it's uneven ♪
♪ Begging you to give me more ♪
♪ And give me time ♪
♪ Mmm ♪
♪ And I wonder what you really,,, ♪
- Hey, - Hey,
You must be Astor, I'm Greta,
Nice to meet you,
♪ And I wonder why you're mad at me ♪
Oh, crap, Stop, stop, stop, stop,
Just got a text from Brandyn,
He needs a drive to the radio station,
Uh,,, uh, Astor, I really hate to ask you to do this,
but could you pop back out? We'll sweep back around again,
Thanks, babe, Shouldn't take too long, though,
You'll still have plenty of time for soundcheck, okay?
♪ I'll take it ♪
♪ You love me like you hate me ♪
♪ I'm so scared,,, ♪
- Hey, hey, - What up?
What's going on?
Let's do the damn thing,
Yeah,
I wanted to create an album
that sounded like a whole band,
but really, it was just me,
And it fucking worked,
Yeah, yeah, it sure did,
So, you had a bit of an incident last summer
at a music festival in Paris,
and the European press was pretty unkind to you
about the situation,
All right, well, first off, uh, fuck France,
It's like, I swear, I open my mouth
and people just get offended,
Okay, Neil Young wrote a song called "Stupid Girl,"
Rolling Stones have a song called "Stupid Girl,"
"Stupid Girl," right?
These songs would get them canceled
- in this Me Too era, - Exactly,
They're destroying art,
Don't get me wrong, I love women, all right?
I got a bunch of badass chicks as roadies on my tour, so,,,
Yeah, and I see you brought Astor Grey to open for you,
Speaking of stupid girls,,,
No, she's, um,,,
- she's great, - Yeah, honestly,
I never heard of her before,
Yeah, I really only brought her on tour
because she gets naked at shows,
Is she gonna get naked tonight?
Honestly, I-- I don't even think
she brought clothes on this trip,
Hey, man,
it's been so good talking to you,
Can't wait for the show tonight,
Uh, Brendon Verge, tonight at the Tempodrom,
Astor Grey is opening,
Naked,
Guten Abend, Berlin,
What's up, Berlin?
I'm Astor Grey, Hey, hey, hey,
Hey, I'm Astor Grey,
Hey, this is it,
You ready?
Was ist das?
Hey, everybody, I'm Astor Grey,
and the only word I know how to say in German
is Wienerschnitzel,
Zieh deine Sachen aus!
Take off your clothes!
Show us your boobies!
Go back to California!
No groupies on the bus,
Are you kidding me? I'm with the band,
My bad,
Beer?
Back to your old ways?
Alcohol isn't the problem, It's people,
You know, my therapist says that
I subconsciously create distance from those I love,
so it doesn't hurt when they eventually let me down,
'Cause they always will,
Or maybe,,,
you're just a sad, angry piece of shit,
What the fuck?
Hey, can we stop, please?
- Can you please pull over? - I can't stop here,
No, we need to stop right now, okay? All my songs are
back there, so we need to stop right now, please,
Looks like there's a petrol station a few kilometers ahead,
I can probably stop there,
Nic, keep going, It's all good,
Brandyn, that is the only copy that I have of all those songs,
Can you please just not be a dick about this?
Wait, I'm sorry, am I a dick,
or am I "an angry piece of shit?"
Okay, keep going,
- Bus is leaving, - Great, I won't be on it,
So what am I supposed to do now?
If you want people to treat you like an adult,
that means taking responsibility for yourself and your choices,
Seriously? Mom, I'm, like, stuck at a gas station in Germany,
I hope you don't feel too bad when I get murdered
- by fucking Nazis, - Baby,,,
Germany is a very safe country,
and you're one of the bravest people I know,
Do you have your calming lavender blend?
I don't feel brave, This sucks, and I wanna go home,
I know you're feeling overwhelmed,
but, Astor, just try to think about
why you went there in the first place,
You're on tour in Europe, baby,
You're playing your music for the world,
Now fight for what you want, what you deserve,
You have always had this fire inside you,
If you want something, you succeed,
Now get off this phone and call an Uber,
and use your lavender,
Okay,
Okay, you're right, Let me figure it out,
Thanks, Mom, I love you,
I'm sorry, I'm gonna make you proud,
I am already so proud,
No one deserves this more than you, Astor,
You worked so hard,
I love you more than words,
♪ I'm a woman at best ♪
♪ You do not make me weak ♪
♪ Won't fall to my knees ♪
♪ Call your name in my sleep ♪
♪ And I will pass this test ♪
♪ 'Cause I know I am strong ♪
♪ Won't call out your name ♪
♪ I just sing out this song ♪
♪ Sing out this song ♪
♪ Sing out this song,,, ♪
This song is about Brandyn Verge,
He hates women,
♪ Crawling out a car crash, I hold my breath ♪
♪ Baby, if I'm bleeding, I don't feel it yet ♪
♪ I know you love to see me at my worst ♪
♪ You've been playing with my feelings ♪
♪ On and on, on and on, oh ♪
♪ You cut deep ♪
♪ You don't see me anymore ♪
♪ I won't give you the satisfaction ♪
♪ Or pretend like it never happened ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ You don't keep me up at night ♪
♪ You don't get to say goodbye, no ♪
♪ You don't get to fix me ♪
♪ And break me at the same time ♪
♪ You don't get to see me cry ♪
I got them all warmed up for you,
You are gonna fucking pay for that!
I promise you, you're gonna fucking pay,
- God damn it! - Hey!
You're fucking done,
- Over, - I'm just getting started,
Brandyn, go! Go!
Astor, stop,
Stop!
You're in dressing room five, all right?
- All right? - Yeah,
So, after I played this killer show,
Greta came into the dressing room and fired me,
She'd already bought the ticket home,
Can they do that?
After reading the contract a million times,
the answer seems to be yes and no,
Kate thinks that they're gonna have to pay me,
but that we'll have to fight for it,
But I don't know, Things feel different now,
Like, there's these girls in Denmark
that were singing along to all my songs,
and they were wearing t-shirts with my face on it,
It was, like, so freaking cool,
You're a rock star,
I'm a rock star?
Don't actually look at me,
♪ Emotional editor ♪
What the fuck?
♪ You think you're really fly ♪
♪ But you're just a stupid guy ♪
♪ Your Porsche is not your penis ♪
♪ Women really aren't from Venus ♪
♪ I laugh, but I cry ♪
♪ 'Cause you're such a stupid guy ♪
♪ All you want is admiration ♪
♪ Your real emotion is stagnation ♪
♪ Do the stupid thing you love,,, ♪
Oh, my God, you're slow!
♪ What you really are ♪
It's fantastic!
I love it!
And can I just say how happy I am
that you picked that as the single?
Thanks, Yeah, Hobie he chose it,
Well, it's a fantastic song,
I'm so excited for Saturday,
I think I actually prefer playing smaller venues,
Like, having more money would be nice,
but not at the expense of the acoustics and my sanity,
Well, this is the other reason I called,
Guess what finally came in,
- Oh, my God, did they pay? - The lawyers did their job,
They paid, plus a late fee,
Oh, my gosh!
Thank you so much!
Well, you deserve it,
Here's to taking on shitty men and winning,
- Yeah! - Yeah!
There's a lot of hate towards you from Brandyn's fans,
People saying you're pissed you got dumped,
that you're using this story to promote your record,
Yeah, and it got a lot worse after your podcast last week,
Well, Brandyn's a good friend,
and the guy I know, well,
I got a hard time believing that he's doing
these things you're accusing him of,
Yeah, it's easy to excuse shitty behavior
when it's coming from someone that we like, but
women's careers don't benefit from calling out powerful men,
- It's usually the opposite, - I'd never heard of you before
Brandyn took you on his tour, a tour which you were fired from,
So it seems naive to pretend that Brandyn
didn't give your career a huge boost,
People know my name now, that's true,
and I will take some accountability
for the fucked-up situation,
I should have left sooner, but I was in love,
Well, I'm glad to hear you're taking some of the blame,
It takes two to play the game,
The thing is, I didn't think that I was playing the game,
I thought that I was in a relationship,
Oh, come on, I mean, Brandyn's a rock star,
and you,,, I mean, you seem like a smart cookie,
You really expect me to believe that you thought
he was gonna be your typical boyfriend?
Yes, I did, because that's how he presented himself,
We let these celebrities break the rules
and get away with it because we want them
to be bad boys, and defending their behavior
is a way of protecting the rock star fantasy,
If you object, then you're a whiny bitch
who's ruining the party with your wokeness,
Okay, okay, let's not put words in my mouth,
I never called you a whiny bitch,
No, you called me a liar,
I mean, you're trying to take something from Brandyn
that he's worked his entire life for,
and in my book, that's just wrong,
Well, your book is bro code,
You're funny,
No, but seriously,
I don't want Brandyn's name as an asterisk on my career,
and I don't expect him to change
or even acknowledge this, but if we could start to have
more conversations about all the bullshit
that women have to put up with:
the abuse, the lack of pay, the lack of opportunity,
then I think that would be a really good place to start,
I'm here for that,
but can we cut the cancel culture shit?
Astor, thank you for coming on the show,
We may not agree on much, but I admit,
you got some balls,
My album's called The Whisper Network,
Check it out, and if you're in LA,
I am playing Silverlake Lounge this Saturday,
And there you have it,
for a little shameless self-promotion,
Astor Gray, it has been an experience,
Check you out, Astor Gray,
What are you doing here?
We're playing at the Forum tomorrow night,
I saw that you were playing, so I wanted to come support you,
Well, make sure you buy a t-shirt,
I will,
Yeah, I can't tell if you're happy to see me or not,
Well,,,
considering you threw my songs out the window
and then you fired me from your tour,
I'm gonna go with not,
Look at you now,
Obviously your new songs are so much better
than whatever was in that notebook,
Guess we'll never know,
You know, music producers use unorthodox methods
of getting great performances out of artists all the time,
Phil Spector pulled a gun on John Lennon,
He also shot a woman in the face,
So, um, what's your plan with these, um--
with these interviews? You going on Hux, The Times?
I didn't think you'd stoop so low,
It's-- it's kind of sad,
The Times came to us,
Your reputation precedes me, dude,
Music is the only thing that I care about,
and you're trying to take that away from me?
I mean, I'm sorry if shit got too real for you,
Yeah, it's crazy how being an abusive fuck
just isn't a great career move anymore,
Why are you doing this? I loved you,
I paid off your fucking credit card bills,
So many of my songs on my new album are about you,
And this is my thanks?
Yeah, I think you're gonna see your influence
on my album as well,
So that's it? After everything?
I'm not afraid of you, Brandyn,
And I'm not gonna be quiet,
I'm gonna tell my story, and I'm gonna play my music,
And if you don't like that, I have a great lawyer now,
so you can sue me,
How is everybody feeling tonight?
Are you guys ready for the main act?
Get out of my way,
Astor,
Astor! Hey!
Seriously?
Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together,,,
Bitch!
,,,for the lovely and amazing Astor Grey!
LA, I love you!
♪ When you get older, plainer and saner ♪
♪ And will you remember all the danger we came from ♪
♪ Burning like embers, falling tender ♪
♪ Long before the days of no surrender ♪
♪ Years ago ♪
♪ And will you know ♪
♪ So smoke 'em if you got 'em, 'cause it's going down ♪
♪ All I ever wanted was you ♪
♪ I'll never get to heaven 'cause I don't know how ♪
♪ Let's raise a glass or two ♪
♪ To all the things I lost on you ♪
♪ Oh-oh ♪
♪ Tell me are they lost on you ♪
♪ Oh-oh ♪
♪ Just like you could cut me loose ♪
♪ Oh, after everything I lost on you ♪
♪ Is that lost on you ♪
♪ Oh-oh ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Is that lost on you ♪
♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Baby, is that lost on you ♪
♪ Is that lost on you ♪
♪ Crawling out a car crash, I hold my breath ♪
♪ Baby, if I'm bleeding, I don't feel it yet ♪
♪ I know you love to see me ♪
♪ At my worst ♪
♪ You've been playing with my feelings ♪
♪ On and on, on and on, oh ♪
♪ You cut deep, you don't see me anymore ♪
♪ I won't give you the satisfaction, no ♪
♪ Or pretend like it never happened ♪
♪ You don't keep me up at night ♪
♪ You don't get to say goodbye, no ♪
♪ You don't get to fix me ♪
♪ And break me at the same time ♪
♪ You don't get to see me cry ♪
♪ Cry, cry ♪