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SHE'S THE ONE
Love,
Since you're up, would you bring me a huge glass of water?
Oh, thank you,
So,,,
The shoes are okay,
The menu is approved,
I took your suit,
So, the things left to do are,,, We said no to the party favors,
No limo, for heaven's sake,
The flowers are okay, Then, we must also call,,,
the coachman, to see if he is free,
And if he can transform the pumpkin in a carriage,
Andrea?
- Hm? - What's wrong?
What? Nothing,
I have to get dressed,
Ouch!
Sorry,
Ouch,
Don't you want to marry me anymore?
You know, it's not a doctor's order,
- What are you talking about? - So what are you thinking?
I see, It has to do with your new colleague,
Again? I don't even know her name,
Barbara, You've told me five days ago, at dinner,
Do you know what's really pissing me off?
That I always leave my shoes everywhere,
That, too,
That you are convinced I'm picking up anyone as long as they're breathing,
I really didn't remember the name of that girl,
Zucchini parmigiana for breakfast?
It's good even when it's cold, In fact, you should make it more often,
Didn't you have a lot of things to do today?
Yes, But I just didn't want to leave this unfinished,
Today I have to go buy groceries with the others,
Fair trade the day before the wedding?
Yes, I know,
They had a lot of stuff this week, and they will never make it alone,
But this way I can't make the bank transfers, Can you make them for me?
- Okay, - Oh, and when you come back,
could you go to the florist? It's on the road,
- Could you also collect my dress? - Okay,
- And leave it to my parents'? - Okay,
Thank you, But don't peek,
Can I at least see the color?
No, It's very bad luck,
Oh, Andre,
Are you sure you don't want to say to your father we're getting married?
It's still 24 hours to the wedding, he would have time to come,
What time is it in Cuba? Let's call him,
Look, he didn't come to Mom's funeral,
- He would never come to the wedding, - Oh well, but if you don't call,
you'll never know,
What if I give it a go?
Do as you wish, But he won't come,
See you later,
Good morning,
Andrea! So? Are you ready to tie the knot?
Do you want some advice? Run away, you still have time,
Stop it,
- I wish you so much happiness, - Thank you,
And we hope to hear soon the cries of children,
There is so much silence in our lives,
Maybe we get married first, and then we'll see,
Goodbye, have a nice day,
Don't make us wait too long!
Good morning,
Excuse me, can I have a coffee?
- Yes? - One coffee,
Yes,
WEDDING CRISIS 80% OF MARRIAGES ENDS WITH A DIVORCE
Do you know what's the main cause for divorce?
Marriage,
,,,could not pay alimony to his ex-wife,
The body has been found thanks to the reporting of neighbors,
The victim left a note which explains the reasons,,,
- Hello, good morning, - Good morning,
- Hello, Andrea, - Hi,,, uh,,,
- Barbara! - Barbara, right,
- Here's Andrea! - Here I am,
Look at him, on the most beautiful day of his life,
Actually, I'm getting married tomorrow,
Exactly,
Okay,
So, I finished the project
and I double-checked the quote for that scrooge Bianchini,
- as we said, - Bravo,
Look, I'm sorry I cannot come to the wedding tomorrow,
- Don't worry, - I couldn't postpone the flight,
White beach, sea, coral reef,,, A beauty,
- Of course, - What about you? The honeymoon?
Well, the honeymoon,,, Unfortunately, with Laura's work,
we can never plan anything,
so I think her parents will leave us the house in the countryside
and we'll stay there a couple of weeks,
Lucky you,
A pen?
Look,,,
When it'll be my turn, I will work, I'll take home the money
and organize the holidays,
My wife at home, to look after the children,
We'll have two or three, so we'll see if she wants to work, too,
It's a beautiful thing, raising children, isn't it?
Come, I'll show you something,
Look how beautiful she is, Brand new,
- Nice, - Do you like it?
Maybe the name should've been bigger, what do you think?
No, it looks beautiful just like that,
Look, I really wasted myself to finish that other project,
But now I'm here and I can dedicate myself to the "City" project,
No, I gave "City" to someone else,
Why?
Sorry, but we've been talking about this for a year,
You said yourself that my presentation was perfect,
Yes, but they called me every day,
They're nervous because of the high budget,
they wanted someone experienced, so I gave it to Marchetti,
To Marchetti?
He knows nothing about the project,
True, But he's almost 50 years old,
He appeases them, You know how these things go,
What do you care anyway?
You're going on your honeymoon, You'll relax, Aren't you happy?
Aren't you going to the Maldives?
Yeah, but,,,
I really cared about that project,
Yes, love, I know,
But you know Beniamino is an asshole,
Maybe you had a chance with his father, but,,,
Now his father is gone, so,,,
The company is his, he will never make you grow,
You have to start your own business,
Again? Laura, how could we manage?
We don't have the money,
We can ask for a loan,
At school you were the best,
Yes, but you have to believe it,
I believe it,
Oh, the bag,
I don't want to go to sleep at my place tonight, I want to be with you,
Love, come on, it's one night,
Anyway, my suit is down there,
Sorry, you're right,
Okay, but tonight, please, will you behave?
Please, promise me, Don't cheat on me,
Again?
It's just that it bothers me to know that you'll be there without me,
Love, but it's my bachelor party,
I know, but you can't understand, Mine it's not an attitude,
I really feel something grasping me from the inside,
I get nauseous, I'm really sick,
Look, if you don't want to marry me anymore, I get it,
I would never marry me!
I'm messy, very jealous,,, I'm a mess,
I'm going,
Bravo!
Here,
Look!
That's nice!
Thank you,
Bravo!
Thanks, you've made me a beautiful gift, really,
You know it's a pleasure,
- Anyway, can I tell you something? - Yes,
I envy you a little,
I believe that when people begin to recognize you on the street,
life becomes a little easier,
Yeah, right, Like a fairy tale,
- And,,, - What?
If I had wanted to, I could have become someone, in music,
Yes!
No, don't laugh, In high school, I used to write wonderful lyrics,
Really?
Yes, I will let you read them, I'll find them and make you read them,
- I should still have them somewhere, - You look for them,
It is too late to dream, now,
Tomorrow everything ends, my dear,
Leave him be! Let's make a toast
- to the youngest of us getting married, - Right!
- One hundred years, - One hundred years,
Yes,
- Hello, - Hey,
Hello,
You didn't call me anymore, Have you lost my number?
No, are you kidding? I have your number, It's just that,,,
The stock market is a mess,
The "Dow Jones" closed the week losing 3%, You know?
Customers call at all hours, Stuff for insiders, forget about it,
I see,
But tech companies are doing well, The trend seems positive to me,
Huh,,, Yes, Actually,,,
Actually, you don't even remember my name, right?
- No, The initial? - S,
- Sara! - No,
Sucker,
- Bravo, Very good, - Guys, I don't know who that was,
There, You see?
From New Year's Eve of the first year of university, I have always been with Laura,
My God!
I told you: first you get the experience, and then you get married,
And you how much experience do you have to get, in your opinion?
- Let me be, - Of course,
I don't know, guys, I feel like suffocating,
She is jealous, she sticks like a leech,
I could get it, if I were a guy who goes fucking around, like him,
But no, I've never even cheated on her,
The thing is, as soon as we are separated for a while, she panics,
She gets this "abandoned dog" complex,
She's given me a hard time to go out tonight, too,
For your bachelor party?
Guys, my wife and I, in 20 years of marriage,
we say "fuck you" basically every day,
But we love each other, I would never give up on her,
Yes, or to her money,
No, what does money have to do with it? My salary is more than okay,
Could you afford a house in Cortina?
- The yacht? - I didn't even want that,
- Yeah, right, - It was Ginevra's idea,
Here, you see? That too, I would love to travel,
For example,,, to the Maldives,
But if she continues to draw children's books, I don't know,,,
I don't understand one thing, You live together, don't you?
What's the difference between living together and being married?
What's the difference?
You must wear the ring, take it out, then wear it again,,,
- It's a problem, - It's a problem!
If I had listened to the feeling you're experiencing now,
I probably would have saved myself from debts, ulcers, alimony,,,
Don't tell him that, he's getting married tomorrow, Come on!
Do you know the news?
That bitch now doesn't let me see my son every week,
Every two weeks,
But Veronica is a witch, I've told you since the beginning, Am I right?
- Yes, - But Laura is so sweet,
She's sensitive, she's perfect for you,
- I don't know, - What did she gift you for your birthday?
Tickets for Le Corbusier's exhibition, Beautiful, by the way,
See? She knows you,
Ahoy!
See? She would've never given you tickets for the exhibition,
But at that point, who cares about the exhibition,
Exactly,
- You are terrible, - Exactly,
Also, the girl over there has been checking you out,
But for heaven's sake! That's Ludovica De Marchis,
my ex's infamous bitch lawyer,
I swear that if she crosses the street before me, I'd run her over,
What did I tell you?
What's wrong with you?
I don't know if I'm still in love with Laura,
I swear I would like to wake up tomorrow and no longer live inside this nightmare,
MARRIAGE ANNOUNCEMENT
Excuse me?
- Good morning, - What are you doing here?
Are you all right?
Today I have to get married,
By the way, what time is it? Why hasn't the alarm gone off?
10:30,
SUNDAY, APRIL 11TH
Laura,,,
Can I make myself a coffee?
Huh? Yes,
Listen, Sorry, what happened last night?
Really, I don't remember anything,
Be careful, I could be very offended,
Oh, my God,
Oh my God, I have something in my brain, for sure,
I have to do a CT scan, an MRI, What do you think?
You are weird,
Where can I find the coffee maker?
Okay,
Oh, good morning,
Good morning, my ass!
You must stop doing all that mess at night, got it?
Music, parties, women,,, Enough! We can't take it anymore!
- Parties? - Yes, We just want a little silence,
But wasn't there too much silence in your lives?
My gosh,
Laura, it's me, Can you please call me back as soon as you can? Thank you,
Hey, Fede!
You're here for the wedding, aren't you? Something strange is happening,
Last night, after we said goodbye, I was going back home,,,
and then,,, blank,
I just know I woke up this morning
and in my house there was a completely different décor,
Instead of Laura's studio, there is a gym,
And I have longer hair,
I mean, I don't know, I,,,
I woke up and next to me there was that blonde from the bar,
The one who entered at some point, remember?
What is this?
A pathetic attempt to apologize?
- For what? - It's too late,
No, wait a minute, sorry,
What have I done to you? I'm telling you that I am really living in a nightmare,
A nightmare?
You know it's six months I don't see my son
because of that bitch of my ex?
To pay the lawyer, I even had to pawn the piano,
Do you remember my piano?
Hm, You disappear for years and now you say you have problems,
You? To me?
For years? What are you talking about?
I didn't even want anything special from you,
A friend to talk to, to vent to,
Now, let's hear, What would this big problem of yours be?
That girl's tits are too small?
Or worse, she's getting too attached and you don't know how to dump her?
You know what? Fuck you, Andrea,
What would you like today?
Uh,,, A glass of water, thank you,
Thank you,
Here you are! Where have you been?
Look,,,
Maybe we shouldn't, really,
- No? - No,
- It's early, - So?
Ouch! Look, really,,,
- Talk,,, No! Come on, - Remove it,
Come on, let's talk about it,
Ouch! Don't bite me, Please,
- The bell! - So what?
It could be someone important,
- Who cares? - Me, No!
Hello,
So you were out of town with some customers, Huh?
Liar,
- Huh? - Where is she? Hm?
- And who would you be? - No, who would you be,
I am his girlfriend,
Huh,,, no,
You truly are the worst,
I believed in it, you know?
In a week, we would have celebrated a month together,
Fuck,,,
Hello? Hi,
Look, I've seen that you sent me that photo, before,
And,,, I was thinking, if you'd like to meet,
Right now it's okay,
Okay,
- Extraordinary, today? - Hey!
- How did you get in? - Are you stupid? I have the keys,
And you have mine, You haven't lost them, have you?
God,
Come on, go and change,
We must grant revenge to Capuano and Alfieri,
because I don't want to hear them complain in the office,
Uh,,, In the office? Do you and I work together?
Andrea, are you okay?
You know what? Yes, Everything is going great,
The truth is that I've always dreamed of this life,
And now, I have it, It's crazy,
By the way, Look who I picked up last night,
Not bad, huh?
- But this is Laura, - Do you know her?
No, I mean, not so much,
She has a degree in architecture,
She's an underpaid professor's assistant, she has absurd hobbies,
She goes to the theater, can you imagine?
We've spent two hours, literally, talking about an exhibition by,,,
- "Lercro,,, bobusié," - Le Corbusier,
That one! Of course, I pretended to know him,
So, what have you done?
I've taken her to Manolo's, that always works,
Table for two, candles, everything,,, The usual,
- And then you have,,, taken her home? - Yes,
- Oh, - To my house,
And then?
Andrea, we went up and I got scared,
A beast, I swear, she drained me,
Just like that? On your first date?
- She doesn't seem the type, - Andrea, I had to tell her: "Enough!"
Have you talked about me?
No,
Nothing, not even a word?
Why would we have talked about you?
- What's wrong? - I don't know,
I feel something grasping me from the inside, A bit of nausea,
IT'S LAURA, I'VE HEARD THE MESSAGE, CALL BACK WHENEVER YOU WANT,
Okay, I get it, I'll go to the club alone,
I'll find someone there, See you tonight,
- Hello! - Hi,
It's been a long time,
Come on in,
My God, I'm sorry, There's a bit of a mess,
Actually, I should clean up, but I never have time,
What's going on?
You sounded a little confused, on the phone,
Take a seat,
Do you want a coffee? I'll make coffee,
Do you remember that in the first year of Architecture, we were always together?
At least until that famous New Year's Eve, when you stood me up,
- I stood you up? - Yes,
I still can't get over it,
Then you enrolled in Economics and,,, Puff! You disappeared,
But it's a shame, I remember you liked Architecture so much,
In fact, I still like architecture,
Actually, I've been to Le Corbusier's exhibition,
Really? Me too,
- I know, - How can you know?
A friend of mine told me,
With whom you went out, yesterday,
- Do you know each other? - Um,,, We work together,
Oh, you work together!
What a coincidence,
Well, he's very nice,
Very nice,
Although, I must say, he made me laugh when he pretended to know Le Corbusier,
Because it was obvious that he had never heard of him,
- I can confirm, - See? I was right,
I've also told him I go to the theater,
If I had told him I sleep in a coffin and suck the blood at night,
it would have had less of an impact on him,
So you won't see him again?
No! Are you serious?
Absolutely not, Come on, Also,,,
you can see from a mile away that your friend's a playboy,
- Not that you,,, - What?
- You haven't said no,,, - Coffee!
What about your father?
Is he still in India?
Uh,,, As far as I know, he's in Cuba,
No way,
- Sugar? - No, thanks,
Okay,
Cuba,
I'm very sorry, but I don't have much time today,
because it's Sunday and I have to be with my Mom,
Oh, yes, She's obsessed with fair trade markets,
How do you know?
Well, I guessed, You know, moms!
Well, yes,
- I'm happy to have seen you again, - Yes,
- Bye, - Okay,
Surprise!
I'm here, see?
Oh! Finally!
- Lucky that I arrived early, - Sorry, you're right,
You'll tell me later, Listen, what's the name of that ginger?
I have no idea,
Come on, she's a bomb in bed and you introduced her to me,
I don't know,
Oh well, I'm going,
You, do,,, Bye,
Hello?
Hey, hello,
Sorry if I'm disturbing you, It's a bit late,
No, no problem,
- How are you? - I'm good,
Listen, er,,, Tomorrow I'm free,
So, I thought that if you don't have nothing to do, we could meet
for a coffee, a pizza,,, Whatever you want,
Uh,,, Well,,,
We could delve into the fantastic world of fair trade markets, Why not?
Well, there is no one more experienced than me on the subject,
At least, under 60,
Perfect, Then, you are the right person,
I would say,
It's just that tomorrow I can't, actually,
Okay, The day after tomorrow?
Um,,,
I'll call you tomorrow,
- Okay, - I promise,
Ok, So, have a good night,
Good night to you, Bye,
SUNDAY, APRIL 11TH
Sunday? Again?
What the,,,?
Yes?
Thank you,
Okay,
But you are,,,
Ludovica De Marchis? The lawyer,
Are you stupid?
What the fuck,,,?
Andrea, are you in pajamas?
It's almost 9 am, we have to go to the office,
- But isn't it Sunday? - So what?
Hurry!
Oh, well, I'll do it,
Look, could I stay at home today?
You are very witty,
Wear the white shirt, obviously,
Wait, I'm sorry, No, really, Do I have to come?
Andrea, you're not funny,
DEGREE IN LAW
Are you sure you want to go back to the Maldives again? You are obsessed,
I'm telling you, I don't want to find myself like at Christmas,
among all those boor soccer players, okay?
You've studied the documents, haven't you?
Love? The documents I sent you, have you studied them?
- Um,,, - What's wrong with you?
- It's just that,,, - Andrea, please,
You know it's an opportunity to prove to Dad he's wrong about you,
Oh,
Good morning, Kathryn,
I've let Mr, and Mrs, Bettini sit in lawyer Colonna's office,
as you told me,
I served them a coffee, even though they already seemed rather nervous,
Okay, thank you, Andrea will take care of it,
Olga! How are you?
I'm fine, thank you,
Armando, what a pleasure,
Ludovica, dear, excuse me if I've made you come on a Sunday,
but you know me: I like to play ahead,
I know, Armando, And that's what we're here for,
- Good, - Let me introduce you to Andrea Colonna,
My pleasure,
He is a promising lawyer at Dad's firm,
He is very prepared, He will answer all your questions,
Right, Andrea?
Good, I leave you alone, then,
You are in very good hands,
Lawyer,
I am very worried,
Do you realize that the European emissions parameters
are completely absurd?
Come and see,
You don't know how much I had to pay
to obtain the clearance to continue production from the Ministry,
without these fucking limits,
And when everything seemed solved,,,
there is a petition! Look at this,
A thousand morons who, with the excuse of ecology, want to bust my balls,
To me! It's all that slut's fault,
Armando!
The architect who fomented those penniless people,
Because I'm sure that, if she had not been there,
- that,,, how the fuck is it called? - Moretti,
That Moretti gal,,, They would still be getting fleas out of their ass,
I'm nervous, it's true,
I'm sorry, did you say "Moretti?"
Yes, Laura Moretti,
Lawyer,
Lawyer!
I have secured the assets, I'm calm, I don't risk anything,
But if they force me to close the plants, even for a single day,
because of that,,,
of that architect,
I swear I'll make her stop being the champion of lost causes,
Lawyer, you and I have to make her understand
that she has to mind her own fucking business,
By hook or by crook, Right?
What's the plan? Come on,
Do you want the truth?
Always,
Look, I've met a lot of lousy people, in my life,
But you truly are the world champion of assholes,
How dare you?
Lawyer!
Andrea?
Lawyer!
Where are you going? Andrea?
Lawyer!
Come back here, right away!
Hello,
Andrea,
Hello, What a surprise,
- Come in, sorry, - May I?
Yes, of course,
Take a seat,
These are dangerous,
Yes, I'm sorry, There's a bit of a mess,
What are you doing here? It's been ages since we last met,
Yes, I'm sorry, I tried to leave you a voicemail,
telling you that I would come,
Oh, The thing is I keep my phone with no ringtone
and I can't even find it, I have no idea where it is,
You know three days ago I was thinking about you?
No way! Why?
Because I've found something, I'll show you,
Do you remember it?
I remember it very well,
You've always been good at drawing,
Thank you,
You can keep it, if you want, I didn't even think you remembered it,
First year of Architecture,
Thank you,
Do you live alone or with someone?
No, alone, Yes,
Well, maybe if you dig deeply in this chaos, someone comes out,
I can't guarantee that,
Make yourself comfortable, Take a seat,
- Can I offer you a coffee? - No, thanks,
- You found me by chance, - Really?
I have a pending issue here as an architect,
then I'll leave for London,
Oh, And when are you coming back?
What for?
No, I'm not coming back,
I need a change of scenery,
I must find my direction,
I don't know, It's as if,,,
It's like I always feel like I'm a bit dissatisfied,
Even if I do important things,,,
There's always something missing,
I don't know what exactly, but,,,
I can't explain it,
But tell me about yourself, What do you do?
The lawyer, it seems,
Too bad you left architecture, you truly were talented,
You really had a vision, in my opinion,
Who knows, maybe we would have opened a firm together, you and I,
No, because I would have convinced you to drop out to draw children's books,
Children's books,
Well, I've always liked to draw,
That's true, But, children's books,,,
I would be penniless, by now,
But you would have been happy,
Do you work on your own? Are you in a firm?
Yes, it's a law firm,,, by Ludovica De Marchis,
You work for the firm defending those pieces of shit?
No, I mean, yes, but I've just found out,
What do you want? Why are you here?
Nothing, I just wanted to see you, see how you are and what you do,
Sure, And with that excuse
maybe you also wanted to convince me to give up, right?
- No, not at all, - Aren't you ashamed?
Andrea, I represent 1643 people who have signed a petition
and who have every right to complain,
because that factory is polluting many acres of Earth, which is yours too,
And one day, it will be your children's, Do you understand?
For what reason? Because purifiers cost too much, Really?
I bet your parcel costs twice the money for those purifiers, am I right?
- Why don't you go away? - Wait,
Go away, please,
Can I explain myself, please? Wait a second,
Really, can I explain?
- Leave, - Please,
Lorenzo!
Thank goodness you're here,
My friend,
What did you expect?
First you make him destitute and then you want hugs and kisses?
Destitute?
You are his ex-wife lawyer,
Poor man, you even took away his scooter,
I told him not to quit the bank,
And he said, "No, but,,,"
I'm sorry,
With that money, you bought a house in Cortina,
Really?
God,
But that is,,,
You don't wanna go, do you?
I don't give a damn anymore, Do you remember the last time?
80 euros and they took him away after half an hour,
He must stop taking drugs, or he won't even get to rehab,
Rehab? He never even smoked a joint,
In kindergarten, maybe,
God, What a crazy situation,
I feel you, With someone like Ludovica, it would be tough for everyone,
No, you didn't understand, I'm in a loop I can't get out of,
- Are you listening to me? - Yes,
- What are you doing? - I take out my wedding ring, back me up,
Are you married?
Never mind,
Andrea?
Good evening,
Hi,
I'm Andrea Colonna,
Hello,
Love, where have you been? You've made me worry, Are you all right?
Yes,
Bettini was furious, He fired us,
I had to get Dad to call him to make him calm down,
Oh, these are your father,,, and your mother,
Armando has told me about your,,, How can we define it? "Shock therapy?"
You went down hard on him,
Yes, actually,,,
I didn't expect it from you,
You did very well,
We've known that guy for a lifetime, Cocky, arrogant,,, My goodness!
He must understand that if he wants to work with us,
he can't have the same attitude he has with his employees,
You'll see, tomorrow he'll come back with the tail between his legs, Bravo,
Thank you,
Andrea, Ludovica has told me that one day you'd like to get your own law firm,
Don't you feel good where you are now?
No, Mom, he's fine,
I actually told him,
Why take on the expenditure on an office,
when we already have it and it's already going rather well?
She's right, don't you think?
But I respect Andrea's desire for independence,
Take me, Everything I've built, I've built it myself,
Okay, but you know what? If poor Andrea has the whim
of opening a firm of his own, we have many apartments for rent,
We can give him one and then we'll see from there,
Of course, Dad is always here for you,
By the way, Andrea, news from Cuba?
No, I have no news,
What do you think? Is it the right time?
Yes,
Mom, Dad,,,
Andrea has to tell you something,
Go ahead,
Gosh, it's not that difficult,
Oh well, he's excited, I'll tell you,
A few days ago, Andrea,,,
proposed and I said yes!
My little girl!
I had seen the ring, but I remained silent,
- Look how beautiful it is, - Oh, my little girl,
- Mom, I'm so happy, - Baby,
In short, I had him acquitted of all charges,
And from the beach!
Dad, put out that cigar, It stinks,
Ludovica, when the children will come,
I promise I won't smoke inside anymore,
Let's hope they will come soon, at least you can quit,
I've said "inside,"
- Just inside, - Right,
By the way, this house will be small
for the children, the nanny, the housekeeper,,,
My advice is to do like we did, with two nannies,
- Yes, - An English-speaking one
and a French-speaking one, so children grow up to be trilingual,
Right, baby? Who would you like to have, a boy or a girl?
Neither,
Love, what are you talking about?
- We have talked about it many times, - How can I know? I wasn't there,
Sorry, what do you mean "you weren't there?"
It's a long story,
Oh, I get it! God, Again with your father,
- What? - Nothing, Mom, he just thinks
that he won't be a good father,
because his was not a great role model, you know?
Why are you telling this to just anyone?
"Just anyone?" They are Dad and Mom!
Maybe you drank a little too much, You should stop, love,
Why?
Are you afraid I'll say something that will embarrass you
in front of your perfect parent?
And yet, I haven't said a thing,
What is the name of the person you defended from bankruptcy?
He pocketed millions, ruining I do not know how many poor people,
And despite that, you had him acquitted from all charges,
From the beach! It's crazy, Incredible,
And your mother looked at him infatuated, as if he were a civilian hero,
- Andrea, have you gone crazy? - No, wait, Ludovica,
Because I've said it already, I like Andrea's disposition,
This character of his, This courage,
The same courage that has made you send Ludovica alone, to me,
to ask if you could work in the firm,
Since you work there, you've done nothing but bother me to get more customers,
Did you want my approval?
Although I've always treated you like a son,
I am not your father,
Let's go,
No, wait a minute, Mom!
I'll see you out,
Sorry, I really don't know what to say,
- It must have been the wine, - Don't worry, honey,
- We'll talk tomorrow, - Okay, Mom,
Unfortunately, my dear, you cannot ignore one's genes,
- Right, - What does that mean?
- Andrea, please, enough is enough, - No, I just want to know what that means,
Please, let's go, I beg you, I'm so embarrassed,
Just a second,
I was just saying it's not your fault,
because you need talent to be a lawyer, too,
Ah, well, You know what?
I'm glad I don't have an aptitude to be a lawyer,
if this means becoming like you,
And what would your goal be? To be like your father?
- To be a failure? - Dad!
You shouldn't even mention my father, Understood?
'Cause he may be a selfish asshole, but he's much better than you,
- Really? - You're sassy too, huh?
My God!
Where the hell am I now?
"Agony?"
No,
No, come on,
Ouch,
What's this? My goodness!
Hey? Excuse me?
Girl, excuse me,
- Please, - Good morning,
Hello, What day is today?
Are you this stoned?
- Don't worry, What day is it? - Sunday,
- April 11th? - Mm-hm,
- Do I have a car? - What?
Do I have a car? A mean to go around,
- To go where? - Do I have a car or not?
Yes, in the garage, But you can't go out,
Yes, I know, That's all I've found,
- Where are the keys? - I don't know where you keep them,
You have to hurry, he's out,
Well?
Where do you think you are going?
- Why? - Funny,
- Right, - Let's go,
- Yeah, right, - Hey!
- Stop! Calm down! - I didn't do anything,
- Calm down, - No,
Here, thank you very much,
Can I know now why I can't leave the house?
Andrea!
Andrea, you rascal, What have you done this time?
- Do you know this gentleman? - I don't know who he is,
I swear to you, you slay me,
Hi, I'm Massimo Vinci and I am Agony's manager,
- Hi, - Hi,
Guys, thank you for your work, But don't worry, Now I'm here,
- Let's go, - Alright,
Goodbye,
Bye,
What were you thinking?
So, tell your dear Massimo where the fuck were you going?
- To see Laura, - Who? The tattoo artist?
Well, she can draw, I don't know if,,,
- The fashion blogger? - I don't know what she does,
I just want to know how she is without me,
I fall asleep every time and,,, maybe I won't find her anymore,
But what have I done, that I can't go out?
Can you give me a minute? Just a minute,
Emiliano, you asshole, what the fuck have you sold him last night?
Good stuff, my ass!
His brain's fucked, He doesn't even remember he is under house arrest,
If he stays this way, I swear to you I'll spread the word,
You won't even sell a headache pill anymore,
Fuck you!
Can you leave us alone? Thank you,
- Andrea,,, - I beg your pardon,
I don't know why I've gone out, Then I pretended not to know you,
Never mind, it's already all forgotten,
- Okay, - But what happened?
You speak differently, strangely, you don't seem the same person,
What?
Well,,,
No, I mean, all right,
It was a moment,,, But it won't happen again, I promise you,
Andrea, I understand this is not an easy time for you,
But hear this,
Write a new song, How long has it been since the last one?
You are a genius at writing lyrics,
Yes, I am a genius,
A genius! Don't think about those few frustrated critics,
Young people love you,
- I know, - You know what?
You write me a new single,,, and we publish it at Christmas!
Huh?
Killer! Cool,
I'll write down a couple of lines, But first I'll just go to,,,
to lie down, to chill on the bed,
Now you're talking, Good,
If you want, I can talk to the girl, Shall I send her to your room?
No, thanks,
Andrea, don't forget, A masterpiece,
Yes, be prepared,
- Oh, cool, - Huh?
Agony! Can we take a selfie?
No,
- Just one picture, come on, please, - No,
Agony, a photo!
Come on, please, a photo!
- Come on, just a selfie! - No,,,
Agony, a photo! Hold on!
Please, just a picture!
Would you leave me alone? Don't you have anything better to do?
There he is!
Huh,,, I'm sorry,
I was looking for Laura, Can I talk to her, please?
No, there is no Laura here,
Oh, okay,
Okay,
Are you already leaving? Don't you want a coffee?
Good morning,
Come, I'll protect you, Let's go,
- Hello, - Hi,
- But you are,,, - Do you recognize me?
Of course,
Ok, thank goodness, because I thought that dressed like that,
you wouldn't recognize me,
- Don't you remember? - Huh?
Andrea Colonna,
We attended Architecture together,
- The first year, at least, - Really?
- Yes, - Gosh, no, I'm sorry,
I only attended Architecture for the first three months,
Then, I went on to Literature,
Oh,
So, before the New Year's Eve party,
Huh?
What are you doing here?
I'm sorry, it's just that I was,,,
I used to live here,
This was my apartment, once, I was nostalgic,
Come in, then,
- Okay, - Yes, come on in,
I didn't know that it used to be your apartment,
I bought it from a company a few years ago, if I'm not mistaken,
At this point, I think it was your company,
I don't know,
Don't look, Those are my doodles, never mind,
- May I? - If you must,
You are very good,
Thank you,
It relaxes me a lot, when I have time,
And since I'm a high school teacher without tenure, I have a lot of time,
You could even make a job out of it,
Why not?
You think?
I had never thought about it,
Are you with someone? I'm sorry to disturb you,
No, don't worry,
No,
Guys,
- You will not believe who's here, - Who?
No! It's Agony!
Agony, here? I'm sorry, but it's incredible,
If my children find out I've met you and I didn't even take a selfie,
they'll take away my parental authority,
There you go, Thank you, Nice to meet you, I'm Lorenzo Guastini,
She is my wife Ginevra and our children are huge fans of yours,
Even though we've forbidden them to listen to your songs,
because, let me tell you, the lyrics are quite intense,
But there is just no way, It's like talking to the wall,
It's Agony!
I'll introduce you to the others, too,
This is Federico, And she is Ludovica, his partner,
Oh,
By the way, I studied at the conservatory, I'm a musician, too,
Yes, love, We all have a hobby, don't we?
I guess you're a lawyer, like her,
How do you know?
Well, He is Giulio,
And she is,,,
She is,,,
- Amanda, - Amanda,
So you dress like this all the time? I mean, not only at concerts,
- So it seems, - Very nice,
Anyway, congratulations, Especially for the lyrics,
You write them yourself, or do you get help from someone?
Come on!
Do you think they're not good?
Yeah, anyway kids listen to what the music industry feeds them with,
Of course, there are the geniuses who impose themselves,
but someone who writes "I shoot as a rock, you'll never get to my cock",
- is that a genius? - Love!
Then there was that other one, what was it like? Here,
"I take you from behind, I am not kind, I'm just well-timed,
- My cock's hard as a stone,,," - Come on!
He wrote that!
Wait, what did that other one say? The one on traffic cops,
You know them all, huh?
Guys! Enough, please, Come on,
It's just envy, Anyway, if one day you decide to remove all these tattoos,
know that it can be done,
I am a plastic surgeon,
- Really? - Yes,
Excuse me if I interrupted your lunch, I didn't want to,,,
Is that Zucchini parmigiana?
He's a good observer! That is Laura's specialty,
- Whoever marries her will be very lucky, - No one will marry me,
The man I like has yet to be born,
- Is that the door? - Maybe it's Mogol,
Who, of course, has come to ask for his autograph,
Come on!
He's terrible today!
Who's there?
Yes, he's here,
Apartment number 3, Yes,
My neighbors called the police,
who was looking for you,
Ah, no, Yes, don't worry,
I'm going, Sorry again for,,,
Have a nice lunch,
I'm sorry for them, really,
No, really, I apologize for the intrusion,
By the way,,, my condolences,
What for?
For your father,
I've heard it on TV, I'm sorry,
AGONY DEATH FATHER
THE FATHER OF FAMOUS RAPPER AGONY IS DEAD
DEADLY CAR CRASH
INTERVIEW TO AGONY'S FATHER
I'd just like to talk to him, stay with him for a while,
Maybe I was naïve to hope that he would forgive me for abandoning him,
And I deserve it,
But I won't give up, Andrea, I'm not giving up,
It's not true that I came for your money,
Who is that?
SUNDAY, APRIL 11TH
No, I can't take it anymore!
Good morning, love,
Hi,
I would like to do it a 100 times more,
No, a 100 trillion times more,
No, Hold on, Please, get back,
Why? What have I done?
Sorry, It's just that I have to leave,
- Okay, so are we still in love? - Yes,
Let me check if my parents are still sleeping,
Your parents?
Fuck!
Green light,
I'll wait for you tomorrow, near the scooters, in front of the school,
I finish at 1:30 pm, okay?
My God!
Hey,
I'm sorry, who are you? And what are you doing in my house, in your underwear?
Have you slept with my daughter?
I swear I didn't realize she was your daughter,
Last time I saw her, she was so small,
- She has grown a lot, - I have to kill you,
- No,,, - No, I'll kill you,
Come here, I'll kill you!
Laura,,,
Mommy!
Sweetheart,
Come here, Come here right now,
I got you,
You're mommy's dearest,
Wait, let me fix you there,
There he is!
Hello?
Andrea, where the hell are you? Are you still sleeping? It's very late!
It's late for what?
Didn't he wake up? Do you get it? He didn't wake up,
Yesterday he exaggerated with wine, I'll tell you,
Andrea, it's 10 o'clock, You're the only one missing at the wedding!
At the wedding?
Hello? Are you there?
Here I am,
You've made us worry,
How many bottles did you drink last night? Three, four? I lost count,
I arrived on time, didn't I?
Because we called you, Otherwise,,,
Finally, you have arrived, Have you brought the rings?
Aren't you supposed to be in the Maldives?
He's still drunk, Come on, take out the rings,
Which rings?
Have you forgotten them?
I don't know what you're talking about,
Is he stupid? Andrea, the wedding rings!
I told you I should've been your witness,
Please, don't,
The bride is coming,
Come on, let's go inside, Stay close to me,
Move aside,
I'm the one getting married, not you, Go,
In the name of the Father, of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,
Amen,
There's always something missing,
I don't know what exactly, but,,,
I can't explain it,
- What? - The wedding rings,
Are you feeling okay?
He's a little nervous,
I, Laura, take you, Beniamino, to be my wedded husband,
and with the grace of Christ, I promise to be your faithful wife
for better, for worse, in sickness and in health,
and to love and honor you,,,
Honey, I'm hungry, Shall we go to the buffet?
- Yes, you go, I'll meet you there, - Okay,
Here they are,
She has trapped me, at last! Let's go,
Where are you going?
- Congratulations, - Thank you,
Wait a minute,
Look at him, You're always joking, huh?
In church, you've made me shit my pants, with the rings, What a jerk!
Look who's there, Sorry, love, Mauro!
We don't know each other very well,
Actually, no,
No, But I'm sure we will have the time to do so,
I don't even know your girlfriend's name,
Neither do I,
- Hi! Thank you, - Hello! Best wishes,
Felicitations!
I'm sorry, just a couple of words as the witness of the bride
and as her favorite cousin,
Maybe because I'm the only one,
Laura and I grew up together, And she always said, "I will never get married!"
There she is,
She, who did not want the wedding dress, the party favors, the limousine,
All of this because she still had to meet her prince charming,
And now, they are even going to the Maldives,
Laura,,,
you will be a perfect wife and a wonderful mom,
- Long live the newlyweds! - Long live the newlyweds!
This morning, I woke up and I thought I was the one marrying Laura,
In church, when the priest asked me for the rings,
I did not want to give them to him because,,,
that feeling of wanting to marry her was still alive,
And the last thing I wanted was for her to marry
that chauvinist Beniamino is,
whose plan is to make her have two or three children,
and then to keep her at home,
Then, I realized it was just a dream,
A strange dream, Laura,
You and I had to get married,
but I was full of doubts,
You were the first true love of my life,
The only one,
But I only saw the negative side,
Your unjustified jealousy,,,
which actually made me feel alive,
It made me feel important,
Or the mess you forced me to live into,
in which you were perfectly at ease,
Or your fear of abandonment,
We couldn't stay apart for more than a day without you being sick,
because when you were little, your father ran away with the secretary,
Then he came back, but from that day,
you've always been afraid that he would leave again,
When is it that one feels good with another person?
When he's true to himself,
And in that dream, I was true to myself,
I understood that, without you, I am,,,
a worse person,
But now it's too late,
It's too late,
So, I just have to say one thing,
Long live the newlyweds,
Long live the newlyweds!
Who are you?
How do you know those things about me?
Not even Beniamino knows them,
It's as if you've experienced them,
As if we had always been friends,
but we've seen each other just two or three times,
That's not true,
We lived together,
At least, until the day before of our marriage,
I know, it seems crazy,
But that's the way it is,
Then, I,,, I don't know what happened,
I am trapped in a nightmare,
I wake up and every time it's Sunday, April 11th,
And my life is always different,
I'm in a kind of,,,
temporal short circuit, I don't know,
A temporal short circuit?
Of course,
How did I not think about it right away? How stupid of me!
- I swear to you it's true, - Right,
In every universe in which I wake up,
I miss you terribly,
And I must look for you,
Because we have lived together, right?
For seven years,
And I know things about you that, otherwise, I couldn't know,
Oh, yes? For example?
You wash your hair before bedtime,
because if you do it in the morning, you get a headache,
You only fall asleep if you have a blanket on,
Even in the summer, even when it's boiling,
But you can only succeed if you have a thin pillow under your head,
You don't remember the novels you read,
You hate foods that are too sweet, you hate milk,
You are allergic to the peel of peaches,
But you like American coffee,
Even though you always leave the residues on the bottom,
because they remind you of your childhood,
When they forced you to finish the milk after soaking the cookies in it
and they crumbled on the bottom, And you hated it,
You didn't want anyone to touch your book about gnomes,
The one your grandmother gave you when you were eight,
You've read it maybe a million times,
It's what sparked in you the passion for drawing,
I swear to you, I would kill to go back in time and be with you forever,
I would like to be the one to marry you,
And I swear to you, I would never let you go ever again,
Ever again,
Guys,,, have you seen Laura?
Uh,,, no,
Well?
No, wait,,, No!
MONDAY, APRIL 12TH
- Good morning, - Good morning, love,
What's wrong?
Nothing,
I'm happy,
I want to be with you,
I want to think only of you,
Let's forget about your parents' house in the countryside,
We'll have the most beautiful honeymoon that you ever dreamed of,
- The honeymoon? - Yes,
All right,
It will be a bit crowded, though,
Crowded? Why?
What?
Are you all right?
- It moves, - Oh, yes,
It moves, yes, Too much, even, Feel that,
I love you so much,
I love you too,
"Young talent of Italian architecture: Andrea Colonna,"
Anyway, it's been there for a few months and I've not yet heard the magic words,
like, "Thank you, my love, for convincing me to start my own business,
If it wasn't for you!"
Who is it so early in the morning?
Crap, it's very late,
It must be your father,
- My father? - Yes,
You don't remember he has to paint the baby girl's room
while we are gone?
He came,
In the end, you've made him come to the wedding,
Croissants!
I got you the one with raisins, I know you like it,
Still in pajamas?
For the room of my little frog, I warn you, no pink,
For heaven's sake!
- Good morning, Paolo, - Hello,
Hello,
Thank you,
I was thinking about a wonderful shade of blue,
You'll see how bright it is,
Blue?
Oh well, Blue it is,
Your grandpa will make you a wonderful room, you'll see,
What's wrong?