I'm a Vinnie Van Gogh type, you know, Dead before he's famous,
♪ Yesterday ♪
♪ Sweet ecstasy seemed just a trip away,,, ♪
-Thin Lizzy?
-Fucking '79, -Bullshit!
Tell me, Moansey, what do I get out of bullshitting you?
There's no way you played with Thin Lizzy,
Man I played with all the big bands back then,
Meelah XVIII, L'Enfant, The Blades, Hothouse Flowers, The Edge,
The Edge? You did in your fuck play with The Edge,
I played with all the big bands back then, man,
First stop, The Point, Next stop, Wembley fucking Stadium,
That was when I knew it was over for me, Moansey, yeah?
But our manager said,,, He hadn't a clue how to manage a fucking band,
Well he couldn't see the trees for the wood, you know what I mean?
I mean, he took our talent and he fucking dragged him into the gutter with himself,
Anyway, Jesus he was crucified, Moansey, What more can I say?
Is that why you stopped it?
No, Moansey, I stopped it because I had a son,
♪ You're out there on your own now ♪
RAZ WANTS YOU, OPEN MIC NIGHT,
You had a son?
-How old is he? -He's 20, Actually,,,
-What day is it today? -It's the 4th, isn't it?
-Yeah, No, it's the 4th,
-Yeah, I'll be back in a second, yeah,
Hey, Al, happy birthday, happy belated birthday,
Sorry I haven't been over to you lately, I've been up in the eyes in work and that
you know, so I'll tell you what, I'll call over to you tomorrow,
All right? See ya,
Christ Almighty, what is in that?
-All right, missus? -All right, mister?
Eh, let me help,
My God, that's brilliant, Where did you get it?
-I made it, -You made that?
-Yeah, -"I prefer small penises"
Hey, will you make me a T-shirt? Yeah, you're,,,
-You're a double XL, aren't you? -Ooh, double XL, did you hear that?
I'm not double XL, I'm a slim fitting large,
Oh, yeah, No, no, If you say so,
-Do you think I'm fat? -No, you're a,,,you're a broad man,
A very broad man,
It's all muscle and raw sex energy, That's what it is, Raw sex,
Yeah, of course,
Okay, tell you what, I'll make you a T-shirt if you get up there tonight,
See that? Nothing for nothing from the girls, huh? There's always something,
Well, do you want the T-shirt or not?
-All right, go on, so, -Oh, shit!
-Stop the press! Mickey's getting up,
-Shut up, Moansey, will you!
Ah, come on, You always say you will and then you fucking bottle it,
Come on, where's your balls?
-Shots fired! -Jaysus!
Well, you better do it now, Mickey,
Hello, everybody, My name is Seth Physher, with a PH and a Y,
Thank you, And this is,,,
"My Flatmate is Trying to Kill Me",
My flatmate is trying to kill me He's encroaching on my shelf
He's stole my tiramisu He never cleans the delph
He comes home late at night and forgets his key
That's three nights in a row I think he's fucking with me
He'll get me with scissors He's given it all he's got
There's holes in all my socks Coincidence? I think not!
My flatmate is trying to kill me
I can't find my phone charger, He says, oh, I think I saw it somewhere
Yeah, I bet you did, you bastard
My flatmate is trying to kill me he really is the worst
But I cut his brake lines this morning
So, ha! So there, I got you first,
Gina, the boys are back in town!
No, Come on, Not the face, Not again,
Moansey, are they mean?
Brad, I'm looking at you,
-Give us a shot there, Gina, Whis-KAY!
-Whis-KAY!
-What are those glasses waiting for? -Suppose your man was shit, was he?
-At least he gets up, -You know, Gina, it's a simple thing
I could get up there if I wanted to, I just don't want to,
Why not?
Oh you think you're too good for us, is it?
It ain't that,
-Mickey, It's only a laugh! -A laugh to you, yeah?
I'm not going to dilute myself for the sake of a laugh,
I mean, if it wasn't for people like me rock and roll would be dead,
Oh yeah,
I mean, you can sit at home picking your hole for all I care
but for me this is serious business,
You don't have to convince me,
You're in good form, aren't you? Did you have a little visit last night?
-Did you get a little something? -I'm not getting any, Mickey,
I'll tell you what, I'll sort you out if you're stuck,
Oh, right, yeah,
You've got no class whatsoever,
Class is for schoolboys Gina, you know, you need a real man,
Oh, yeah? And you're gonna be the man that gives it to me, is it?
Well, I didn't say that, But you know, I'm game ball,
Come here to me, Mickey Richards, do you know what you are?
-What? -You're a Grade A pig,
I'm the best bit of pork in this whole place and you know that, Deep down, you know,
Right, go on and run off to your little market there, piggy, See you later,
Good evening, folks, How are we all doing tonight?
-Ah Raz, you bollocks!
Ah, Jesus lads, there's more fucking craic in a Sunday mass,
How we all doing tonight?
Yes, that's more like it,
Now thanks for coming out tonight folks, it's great to see yis all,
It's fantastic to see all the familiar faces,
It makes it easier for the newbies to get up, So we do appreciate seeing yis here,
Speaking of which, we do have
a certain member in the audience tonight,
One who you definitely know to see, Probably because he's here
every fucking day of the week having a few pints and a whiskey,
But, yeah, ladies and gentlemen, our own in-house living legend, Mickey Richards!
What do you say, Mickey? Gonna give us a show, are you?
Mickey! Mickey! Mickey! Mickey!
Maybe another night then, Mickey, yeah?
-So what are youse doing here anyway? -Waiting for the girl's school to finish,
-Oh yeah, got girlfriends, yeah? -He does,
Oh yeah, bit of sex on the cards, is it? You dirty swine, It's well for some,
-What's that? -Bit of water?
-Yeah, right, -Smell it if you don't believe me,
Let us try it Mickey?
-No, go on, go away, -Ah fuck you, Mickey,
Go on so, just one sup now,
-Oh, that's lovely, -Oh yeah, lovely,
It's nice, isn't it? Come on, back to me, that's two sups,
This place isn't going to clean itself up, Get out of the way, now, go on,
Good luck, and you take it easy tonight,
Michael, Deco, Good to see you man,
-Yeah man, you too, -All good?
-Have you,,,? -Have I what?
-You know, -No,
Had a sly one?
-Sly one? -Look, I'm not judging,
Between you and me, I'm partial to the mid afternoon vodka dash myself,
-So, can I come in? -Yeah, yeah, of course,
Come on in, come on in,
-So where is he? -He?
Alan, you mean? He's in his room,
-No, just, I came by to give him his present,
-What did you get him?
Just a little token,
Is this a joke?
No, it's not a joke,
And tell me, what's he supposed to do with that?
He'll hang it up obviously,
Oh yeah? So he can be reminded every day how his father doesn't give a shit?
-You're not giving that to him, -I don't know, Mel,
Look,
I think it's cool, you know, It's unique, has character,
-See, Deco gets it, -I don't know why I bother,
Give it to him if you like, He already hates you,
-We'll see, yeah, -Can you honestly blame him?
-Hey Alan,
-All right,
Happy birthday, man,
Thanks,
What you working on?
-Nothing really, just trying it out, -Why, is it new?
-Yeah, Declan got for me, -Nice,
It's well for Deco, isn't it? Suppose he can afford that kind of thing,
I didn't have a chance to get you anything,
Head's been all over the place, Alan, you know,
But how about me and you going out for a pint sometime?
It's all right,
You know, I think quality time is a lot better than, you know,
big, lavish gifts, you know?
So, what are you going to do tonight?
I'm playing a gig,
Excellent, Well, I'll come along, will I?
Why?
Well, my dad never came to see me play,
Hey, did I ever tell you that time that I told my old man
I was gonna be in a band? And this is what his reaction was, watch!
Imagine that, man,
♪ At seventeen, it always seemed ♪
♪ That you could do it all yourself ♪
♪ All those wonderful schemes you dreamed of would any of them see an end? ♪
♪ So start it up ♪
♪ Start it up ♪
♪ Don't let it slide, just be true Never be true, whatever makes it ♪
♪ Moving too slow, still pretending You got the end and the beginning ♪
♪ Don't let it slide, realise the truth Never try the truth, still fantasising ♪
♪ Out on you own, be amazing No-one else will forget the way down ♪
♪ At 21, you're going on ♪
♪ Still talking about your big ideas ♪
♪ It's always easy money, always easy money and talk is cheaper than words can breathe ♪
♪ So start it up ♪
♪ Start it up ♪
15 Euro,
There's 20, keep the change,
It's 15,
I'm going to support the artist,
Isn't that good(!)
Oh yeah, What would you know about good? Stupid haircut,
♪ Down on the street by the light of the roadhouse ♪
♪ She buys the freedom for all that she's had in the world, there's little more ♪
♪ I know, I know, this is not working out I know, I know, place that you found ♪
♪ I know, I know this is not working now ♪
♪ It's a place that you found ♪
♪ This is your dream town ♪
♪ Pretending is easy when nobody seems to see you at all ♪
♪ Only a fool believes that someday soon they can turn from it all ♪
♪ I know, I know, she wanted so much more ♪
♪ I know, I know, whatever gives I know, I know, she wanted so much more ♪
♪ Whatever gives This is your dream town ♪
♪ This is your dream town ♪
Here, man, You were good up there tonight,
-What are you doing? -What do you mean?
Why are you here?
I've come to see you play, You're my son, aren't you?
Barely,
So what are you doing now?
-Hanging out with the lads,
-Oh yeah? Well, I'll join you if you want,
-A little bit of fun, -No!
Fair enough,
Why don't you call over sometime, man?
Spend a couple of nights, Go out, get something to eat, you know,
-Go to the cinema, have a laugh, -Have a laugh? You're grand, thanks,
I think it might be nice to get to know each other, you know, whatever,
-What is this? -What's what?
-Since when do you give a shit about me?
-I'm only offering a good time Alan,
Anyway, the offer is always there, yeah?
You were good up there, yeah,
All right, the lads! How are you? Is Lucy about?
Yeah, she'll be back in a bit,
Give us a go with that, Moansey, will you? When I finish the round,
-Ah go on, you're shite, man! -Go on then,
-You might want to step back, I do this kind of differently,
Jesus Christ, what the fuck was that?
-They're fucking worn, those darts, -They are now!
-It's not me! Do you want a drink? -Yeah, go on,
How about you, Moansey?
Yeah, go on,
Are you avoiding me?
-I'm right here, waiting for you, -Oh, good, Cos I got you a present,
-What is it? -Open it,
-And this is,,,? -A Scorpion,
Yeah, and where the hell did you get it?
-In the shop, I seen it and I thought of you,
-Oh, no you didn't,
You don't like it,
I do, I really like it, You know what? In fact!
Every time you see that you can think of me,
Or I could just turn around and you'll be sitting right there,
Yeah, well it's a great view from here Gina,
You know what Mickey?
I actually, I've been meaning to say this,
I really need you to stop making comments like that,
They make me really uncomfortable,
See there, that's you!
You guys are done with them, are you? Yeah,
-All right, looking a bit down, you okay?
-Renovating my house at the minute,
-Yeah, chaotic, is it? -Yeah, a bit mad,
Mam, she hurt her back and she's refusing to hire anybody
so I have to do everything,
Not anymore, I'm going to step in and help you out there on that one,
-Mickey, don't worry, it'll be grand,
-I'm not worried,
I'm going to take that pressure off those little shoulders, all right?
Because you've got plenty of work to do in here, like get me a whiskey,
Off you go,
Do you remember Pirate Bill?
Always wore an eye patch, What a fucking character, They don't make them like that,
He'd read tea leaves on Tuesdays
Dressed to kill, sat in the corner with a parrot on his shoulder
Cut a lonely figure in hindsight now that I'm older
What about Sandra? No?
A legend in her own right She snuck behind the bar one night
and started giving out free pints until she was caught by Big Seamus
She had to wear a wig to get in from then on and spent five years as a brunette
She runs her own business now, She's all set, Back to being a redhead
I fell in love here too with a goth named Faith
But I never plucked up the courage and she fell in love with my mate
That's the way it works out
They're divorced with three kids and she got the house
Do you ever hear from Seany? The absolute headbanger who couldn't relax
We can still see his name carved in the jacks
He'd hit you as soon as look at you, and I tell you no lie
He's all prim and proper now, all suit and tie
I guess they've not been around, Moved away or settled down
But if they come here, let them in and if they ask you how I've been
tell them I've no news, it's all the same
The faces are the only things that changed
Bloody hell, is that the time?
Thanks for a lovely evening,
Problem is, I have nowhere to go now and it's my turn to be leaving,
What's wrong, Gina?
How do you get out of here, Mickey?
I hate this place,
I hate the fucking hours,
I hate the people, I fucking hate the smell of the gaff,
What are you on about? It's a great gig,
Yeah, but I want to do something more,
Better,
Give yourself a break, Gina, will you? You're only young,
I fucking hate when people say that,
Why do I have to wait to start my life? Why can't I be young and start it now?
I don't want to be fifty and have absolutely nothing to show for it,
What are you waiting for, then? Go,
Sing me a song,
For me, Mickey,
I don't sing for anyone,
You're always going on about being somebody,
Show me who the real Mickey Richards is,
I'm here, Stop it, I'm not gonna fucking sing,
-What is your problem? -You're my fucking problem,
I'm not gonna fucking sing, Stop being like everybody else, will you?
Okay,
Yeah,
Good night,
HANDS OF TIME
-Alan, -All right?
What are you doing here?
What do you think I'm doing here?
Oh, shit, yeah, Sorry, yeah,
Now's not a good time,
Why?
Well, why didn't you let me know you were coming over?
Forget it then,
Alan, Alan, come on, Will you come back? Alan,
Alan, please, Come on back, will you? I wasn't ready,
I wasn't expecting you, Come on, we'll do something nice,
-What is this? -That there is daddy's day off,
Here, you can season it to taste, Here,
-Would you not just buy salt? -This is free, isn't it?
Want some ketchup?
Here you are,
Yeah, your best bet is to get a little bit of everything, Yeah, Put it all together,
Let those flavors come together in your mouth, Alan, This is beautiful,
Would you not have just made a spaghetti bolognese or something?
Well if I knew you were coming I would have got mince, wouldn't I?
This is men's food, Alan, Yeah, you're not used to it,
Your mammy makes all your dinners for you,
-So how you getting on with the aul' Deco?
-All right,
-He's a bit of a prick, isn't he? -No, I think he's pretty sound,
Yeah, I suppose I'd think like that too
if he got me a big birthday present like he got you, huh?
-So, what does he think of your music?
-He thinks it's really good,
Yeah? Surprising,
Why?
Well I never thought Deco had much of a taste in music, you know,
thought he'd be into people like, you know, ELO or something like that,
-He actually has a very broad taste, -Yeah? What's he into, "Orinoco Flow"?
I don't know why you're slagging him, He's done nothing wrong,
Yeah,
You know, I think your music is very good too,
You've got a great, eh, vibe,
-What?
-It's shite, isn't it? -Yeah,
Here, fuck this shit, Let me get out of here,
They do a great midweek madness deal here, 10 Euro movie, a meal, my treat, yeah?
Hey man, can we get one of those midweek madness deals?
But instead of the popcorn, I'll have nachos,
I'm afraid we only do popcorn with the meal deal, sir,
No, no, I got nachos before with the meal deal, It was not an issue,
Yeah, well, sir, things have been changed up at head office,
Yeah,
Come on, man, it's not that big a deal, It's only nachos,
Well, sir, if it's not that big of a deal, why don't you just get the popcorn?
Or you can pay full price for the nachos,
No, we'll go with the popcorn, Yeah, Large bag, please,
-And what drink? -I'll have an orange please,
And for yourself?
No fucking nachos, eh?
-Come on Alan, let's go, come on, -I am so sorry,
-Are you okay? -No!
-What the hell are you doing? -What?
-You can't do that, -Says who? It's them,
They're the ones with the problem making it difficult for me
to get me nachos, Story with them?
Anyway, I come here every week and I get nachos, no problem with the meal deal,
And then I rock up with me son and suddenly they fuck me over,
-Do you hear yourself right now?
-I don't know why you're pissed off with me
Alan, you should be taking it out with that wanker in there
and the muppets up in fucking, in head office,
Do you hear that shite? That's just capitalism, Alan,
Capitalism, I'm fed up of it, Fuck you, Come on, Alan, Get the fuck out of here,
Come on!
Hey, you know what this place is?
-Apartments?
-No, man, it used to be the Magnet Bar,
-All right?
-Yeah man, I used to play gigs back here,
Back in the day, Great spot,
-What happened? -The city's gone to shit Alan,
-I meant what happened to you? -Nothing happened to me, man,
It's everyone else who was the problem,
Nobody wants to know you when you've got something to say, you know,
They were intimidated by me because, well, I wouldn't shut the fuck up
and do as I was told,
-That's what mam says, -What?
That you were never willing to compromise,
She would say that, she wanted me to give everything up and focus on her,
Is that why you left then?
I didn't leave, Alan, She didn't want me there,
You know, being there meant I had to give up everything I believed in,
Then you came along and, well, I wasn't making any money and couldn't get a gig,
There was nothing else I was good at,
Would you'd have rathered if I wasn't born?
Jesus, no Alan! It's just, you know, at the time I was a kid myself,
I wasn't ready,
I hadn't finished living for me, you know I had to give up living if I,
if I went on, you know,
Having a child doesn't mean you have to stop living,
No, but being with your ma meant I did, Look, it's all different now Alan,
Yeah? Mel doesn't have to get involved with us anymore,
It was just us, you know, the lads, The way it should have been, No bullshit,
Come on, man let's get back to the house, I've something I want to show you,
I think you'll like it,
-Mick Nasty's Songbook? -Yeah,
-Mick Nasty? -Yeah,
Read one of them,
♪ ELO make me sick, and ELO make me think that they are just a bunch of horrible ♪
♪ little long haired wimps, We hate their music and hate their style ♪
♪ To my ears it really is vile ♪
♪ Fuck off ELO, fuck off ELO ♪ What's your big deal with ELO?
-What do you think? Rubbish, -No wonder you gave up,
Here, give me that, Taking the piss, Mr Blue Skies,
-So, how's this for you? -It's grand,
Yeah, get in there so,
Now,
There you go, All right? Sleep well, bro,
Night, night, Night, Alan,
- Night, - Glad you're here man,
Yeah, We'll have to clear this place out Alan,
-Can you not just cover it? -Who's the boss here?
Exactly right, come on,
Bend your knees, Here we go,
I told you I didn't need any help with this,
Mam, relax, It'll be over before you know it,
How can I relax? You brought a stranger from the bar into our home,
-What if he robs us? -He's not a stranger, He's my friend,
-So he's not even qualified? -Mam, he's a good guy, okay,
-Is it chipped? -Nah, that was already there,
-What did youse break? -Nothing, nothing
I've just after hitting me foot off the side of the table there,
Look, how long is this gonna take?
Ah it won't take too long Liz, Come here, Could I ask you a quick question,
-What? -Are you gone on the pink?
Yeah, why?
Do you not think it's a bit kiddies room?
-No, it's feminine! -Feminine?
-Yeah, feminine,
-Well, what would you suggest then Mickey?
If it was me, I'd go with a light cool grey,
But it's not me, is it? So I don't want to step on anybody's toes here,
So, I'll tell you what, We'll paint it the colour you want it, yeah?
And if you don't like it, we can always come back, can't we, Alan?
And repaint it whatever colour you like, free of charge, Come on,
Are you paying them?
Now, Alan, just make sure it's nice and fluffy, Right now, plenty of paint on,
Now, Alan, Right, are you ready?
Big long strokes, Yeah, Up and down, yeah?
-Yeah, Look at that, -Yeah, I know how to do it,
All right, go on ahead then,
That's it,
-See? -All right, DiCaprio,
Just make sure you don't get any of those bubbly bits there,
Yeah, right, Go on over and do your own side,
Hey, Alan, Alan,
Here, look, Alan,
Hey, Alan, come on, come here,
You finish it off, go on,
Alan! Grow up, will you?
Sorry, Yeah, sorry,
Hey man,
What you doing? Just kidding, You're painting,
Yeah, obviously enough,
Do you need anything?
-Nah, I'm good, thanks, -You sure?
Yeah, yeah,
This is pretty good,
Done it before?
Yeah, did a job on my own room,
Nice,
-It's just about getting it even, isn't it?
-Yeah,
-No bubbles, -Yeah, totally,
-You sure you don't want anything? -Yeah, nah, I'm grand, thanks,
Not even a fizzy drink, no?
Well, if you offer a guy a fizzy drink, I'm only human,
Cool,
That is deadly,
-Really? -Yeah, like really deadly,
Come on, This room isn't going to paint itself,
Do you like Alan's music, Mickey?
Well, I tell you this G, he didn't lick it up off the ground,
That song's not finished yet,
Gonna be a lot better, I reckon, when I'm done with it,
No, I like it, it's very '80s,
-That's what I'm going for, -Nice,
-Do you like the '80s? -Yeah, I love the '80s,
-No, you don't, -Why don't you believe me?
People always say they like shit, but they don't,,,Really,
Well, who doesn't love the '80s?
-Idiots, -Exactly,
-The 80s is the best, Gina, -What would you know about the 80s?
All right, old Michael,
-Don't call me that, -That's your name, isn't it?
You know, Gina, he's only showing off because he fancies you,
So did you get into music because of Mickey?
No!
I wanted to be able to connect to people,
I thought music was the best way to do that, Plus, I love doing it,
What's your stage name?
-Alan Man, -Alan Man?
-What? -No, really?
-What? -Are you messing with me? Alan Man?
Yeah, What's wrong with it?
I don't know where to begin, everything,
Really?
See, that's how I know it's the right name,
Your reaction tells me I'm onto something new, something out of your comfort zone,
But before you know it, you'll be saying the name Alan Man without thinking twice,
Oh, good God! You are so like Mickey, it's not even funny,
-I am nothing like Mickey, -Oh, okay, if you say so,
-Such a clown, -Ah, a little sensitive, are we?
Little silly, are we?
Oh, you're so close to getting paint on your face right now,
-Yeah, you wouldn't dare,
-Just on the ear, just on the ear, just--
What about your hair? It's blonde, it'll go perfect,
Here!
Cheers,
I see you and Gina getting on well today,
She's cool,
She is,
Would you fancy Gina, do you think?
If I did, I wouldn't tell you,
Come on, we'll go out for a pint,
I don't know,
Come on, Be good for you, Bit of fun,
-Moansey! -All right?
Lucy and Raz about?
-Yeah, yeah, they're at the back, -All right, cool man,
-See you in a bit, -Yeah,
-I'm gonna get sick of the sight of you two,
-Give us a pint there, will you
-and whatever your man's having, -I'll take a whiskey ginger ale, please, Gina,
Did you hear that? Go on, I'll have one of them, too,
You're fast, Well, you can pay,
There's some nice talent in here tonight,
-Are youse on the pull? -Hardly!
There you go,
-Cool scorpion, -Huh?
The Scorpion, It's nice,
-Oh, yeah, You like it? - Yeah,
Mickey got me that, didn't you, Mickey?
What? The scorpion, Oh, yeah, yeah,
Come here you, Come on, grab your drink,
Come on,
Ladies, my name is Mickey Richards, This is my son Alan,
-Nice to meet you, -So what are your names?
-Niamh, -Laura,
Lovely names, Tell us, girls,
-Do you like the musician types?
Depends, are they any good? What are you doing?
Well, Alan here is a really good musician, like, but, you know, he's a bit shy
but I think yis would have a lot in common,
Are you for real? I'm,,,I'm really,,,
Come on, you have to admit, these two girls are very attractive,
-Laura, you'd definitely be Alan's type,
-Oh my God,
-Can he sit down and join yis? -No, we're heading now,
I don't want to sit down, It's okay, I'm sorry,
Don’t go, yeah? Wait, wait, wait,
I'll tell you what I'll do, right? I'll get you both a drink and I'll disappear,
-No, we're grand, we're heading, thank you,
-I'm so sorry about this,
-Whiskey and ginger ale? - No thanks,
I don't understand it, Like, he's a really nice guy,
It's not him, it's you,
Well, that's that! You do someone a favour and they throw it back in your face,
-Honestly, Alan, -I can't believe you did that,
I can't believe you did that,
The Laura girl is a really nice girl and you just let them walk off,
I wasn't fucking interested in them, all right?
-What about her down there? She's nice,
-Dad! I'm not interested, okay?
Have a word with him Gina, will you? I don't understand him,
So, why don't you come to see me play sometime?
Yeah, yeah, that'd be cool, actually,
Here, give us your number, I'll give you a shout when I'm playing next,
-Smooth, -Smooth?
Yeah, Getting my number like that,
No, I wasn't, like, trying anything, Just if you're interested,
Oh,
If I was gonna chat you up I wouldn't do it like that,
Oh yeah?
Yeah I'd write my number down and hand it to you
give you a compliment and then walk away,
Oh, nice, What would you say?
I don't know, Probably, like I think you look really sexy
you seem interesting and I'd like to take you out sometime,
You think I'm sexy?
-Well, hypothetically speaking,
-Oh, yeah of course, Yeah, hypothetically,
So, hypothetically speaking
where would you take me?
Well, speaking hypothetically, I would,,,
Well, I've always had this idea of bringing someone to a bookshop,
We both get the same book, go for coffee
read the first chapter then talk about it,
♪ Hey hey hey hey I got rights You got rights, we got rights ♪
♪ Don't let them take them away Don't scream, don't think, don't fight ♪
♪ Do what they say You're safe, you're warm, you're free ♪
♪ You won't take my liberty It's just a game, you say ♪
Jesus!
-Are you fucking for real? -Are you all right?
Yeah, grand, man, We have him, Come on, Come on,
Ah I can't understand you Alan, I had those two birds set up for you and you fucked it up,
I don't understand, like, I mean, you're young
you've got everything going for you and yet you're fucking up,
You spent your whole night chatting up Gina, Will you slow down!
I'm taking you home, I don't want you to take me fucking home,
What's the matter with you?
What? What?
-I'm just,,, -I'm just what?
-You're going on like a child, - Fuck you Alan,
-What? -You sound just like your mam,
That's how she used to always be going on, She never knew how to have a good time,
-Don't talk about her like that, -I'll talk about her whatever way I want, Al,
-Not in front of me, you won't, -Oh yeah, what are you gonna do?
You gonna hit me? Well, go on then, Hit me, Go on, go on!
I fucking hate you,
You're the fucking child, Alan, Why don't you fuck off back to Gina
and Mel and Deco and play happy fucking families together, See if I care,
-Come on Mickey, here, Come on, Come on, No,
I told you about this last week I did,
-How are you? -Go on,
Oh, Jesus, all right there pal?
Had a few, have you? Yeah, not tonight,
Come on, I'm here every night? No, you're not going in, not tonight, No, I said,
Fuck off yeah,
ID?
I see you, you fucker!
Bollocks,
-How are you? You all right? -Do you know who I am?
-Don't mind him, go on, in you go, -Look at me!
-Do you know who I am? -Who?
I'm Mickey fucking Richards! Mickey fucking Richards,
Mickey fucking Richards, everyone, Give it up for Mickey fucking Richards,
Fuck you! Fuck off!
Give us your ID, How are you doing? Good, yeah? In you go,
I need a refill,
Mickey,
What are you doing?
Gina, I need to tell you something,
What?
I,,,
It's okay,
Right,
Urgh, I hate water,
Here,
-What's this? -I want you to have that,
You're the only one who ever believed in me, Gina,
You know
When I was a kid
I wanted to be famous,
I wanted to,,,change the world,
Maybe you still can,
Maybe just not the way you think,
Maybe it wasn't your purpose,
But maybe you have something else to offer,
What do I have to offer anyone Gina?
You're a good man, Mickey,
You make people really laugh,
They genuinely forget all their shit lives when they're with you,
You're genuinely yourself,
You actually have the courage to be yourself, no matter what,
You've no idea how much I admire that in you,
Maybe your purpose was to help people believe in themselves,
But no matter what Mickey
you have a lot more to offer to this world than you ever think you do,
Gina,
Alan's a great kid,
Yeah,
He's the best,
Give him a chance, Gina, will you? He's nothing like me,
Even if he was, that wouldn't be the worst thing,
Goodnight Mickey,
Goodnight Gina,
♪ I want to be myself ♪
♪ I don't want to be like anybody else ♪
♪ I want my own identity ♪
♪ I want my individuality ♪
♪ I don't really give a shit ♪
♪ What anyone else thinks ♪
♪ I am my own self ♪
♪ I'm like nobody else ♪
♪ You may be a follower to impress your friends ♪
♪ You may be a silly sod who cares about everyone else ♪
♪ So be an anti-facader ♪
♪ Don't be anyone else ♪
♪ So if you follow my advice ♪
♪ And do your own thing ♪
♪ You'll see that being yourself is better than being anyone else ♪
♪ Just be an anti-facader ♪
♪ This is your dream town ♪
You're going on like a child,
-He already hates you, -I fucking hate you,
♪ Down on the street by the light of the roadhouse ♪
♪ She buys some freedom for all that she has in the world, has little more ♪
♪I know, I know, this is not working out I know, I know ♪
♪ Place that you found This is your dream town ♪
♪ This is your dream town ♪
♪ This is your dream town, dream town ♪
-Michael, my main man! -Not now,
Michael, calm down, yeah? Come on,
-Alan, -Oh Christ!
-What are you doing here? -Can I talk to Alan please?
-No, he doesn't want to talk to you, -Look, he can speak for himself, Alan,
Alan, Listen to me, it's better if you leave,
I don't want to argue with you, but,,, Please Mel,
-This is between me and Alan, -No!
No, not anymore,
I don't know what he expected to happen, Alan, I tried to warn you,
Will you leave? He doesn't want to hear it,
-How would you know? -Cause I know my own son,
-Oh, and I don't? -No!
No you fucking don't!
And neither do you, None of youse do, How could you?
How could youse know anything about me?
Youse don't have a fucking clue about anything, Now what the fuck do you wanna say?
I'm sorry, Alan, I'm sorry for everything,
Oh great, Sorry, It's all okay then, Fuck off!
There, You said what you have to say, Now please,,,
Alan, Please can you give me one last chance?
-Mickey, please, -Alan, please,
Alan,
Listen, can I just say one thing? Look, Alan
I know it's not really my place but I think you should hear him out,
At least then you can say you both tried,
Thanks for hearing me out, Alan,
It's not easy doing this in front of, you know, Mel and Deco,
What are we doing here?
You're a great kid, Alan, I don't want to hear this shit, all right?
Please let me finish,
-You're a great kid, -I'm not a kid,
Yeah, you're right, You're a man,
You're a better man than me,
Alan, I'm sorry, man, So sorry, I fucked everything up, man, on you,
Please let me have another chance of being your dad,
I don't want you as a dad,
I am your dad, Okay, I might be a shit one, I admit it, but,,,
I'll always be your dad,
-I've done just fine without you, -I know you have,
Look, Mickey, it's over, I don't need you,
I started writing these lyrics the day you were born, I never finished them,
Maybe we could finish them together, the two of us,
Give me one good reason why I should give you another chance,
Why I should bother?
Because you're my son Alan, I love you,
I don't want to lose you,
These lyrics are shite,
Yeah, I know,
I wrote them myself,
You know Alan,
you've turned into a great man, I'm really proud of you,
Thanks,
Well, look at you, Looking good,
Yeah, it's perfect,
-Slim fitting large, eh? -Told you,
Yeah, you did,
You look great,
-Cheers, -Are you coming up?
-Yeah, I'll be up in a sec, -Okay,
Good evening, folks, How we all doing tonight?
It's time to get this fucking show on the road, isn't it?
Now, folks
we have something very, very special for you tonight,
Right, A very special guest, I want to introduce you to Mickey Richards!
Mickey!
Mickey,
Mickey, come on out, you big bollocks, you!
ALL: Mickey! Mickey! Mickey! Mickey!
Mickey? Mickey?
-Yeah, yeah, I'll be out in a minute, -Are you all right?
Yeah, yeah, I'm grand,
You're keeping everyone waiting,
I don't think I can do it, Alan,
Why not?
You go on out there man and give them a good show,
I remember a while ago,,,this girl asked me why I started making music,
I told her some bullshit reason about how I just
loved being able to use music as a way to connect to people,
Which isn't true,
I started making music because of you,
You inspired me to go after something I loved,
Even if the odds were slim,
So where's this Mick Nasty I heard all about?
I'll be waiting on the stage for him,
Hey, folks,
Sorry, Hey, folks,
How yous all doing out there tonight?
Yeah, I feel like that too,
I started writing this song about twenty-odd years ago,
And we only just finished it last night, Myself and my son Alan,
It's called "The Hands of Time", I hope you enjoy it,
Bear with me, I'm a little rusty,
ALL: Mickey! Mickey! Mickey! Mickey!
Subtitled by Eleanor Melinn
Subtitles funded by the Irish Film Institute’s
IFI International Programme supported by Culture Ireland,
♪ If I could turn back ♪
♪ If I turn the hands of time Would I do the same again? ♪
♪ Would I wait? Would I change my mind? ♪
♪ If I could reach out for your hand ♪
♪ Would you help me? Would you see me through? ♪
♪ Could I truly face forever the future just lying, lying ahead of me ♪
♪ Heaven knows how it will be but if to lose is to believe ♪
♪ I would take the chance I need ♪
♪ Always knowing, knowing that love love love love love will be there ♪
♪ So shine a light for me, I caught it Love love love love love will be there ♪