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Li'l Quinquin
The Human Beast
Hey, Quinquin!
Don't you go spilling it now!
I ain't gonna spill it!
Fuck!
You're such a pain, Ma!
Li'l Quinquin?
I knew you'd be here,
Your ma's gonna give you hell,
Your sister's gonna be on TV?
She's rehearsing, She might not get chosen,
Look!
In my outside pocket,
Firecrackers,
I bought the whole brick -
Cool, huh?
Wait, I'll show you something,
Come on,
You ain't scared of him?
- Want it up your butt? - Stop it, Li'l Quinquin,
OK, calm down,
Let's go,
Fly, mouse,
Hop on!
- You on? - Yes,
Take that, sons of bitches!
The house blew up,
Goddamn ragheads!
Leave that,
Look, a chopper!
Holy shit!
Get on, quick!
You on?
Let's go!
Let's race it!
Hurry up! Quick!
Come on!
Faster!
I can't go any faster,
I'd like to see you try!
It's over there!
Come on!
We're almost there!
It's over there,
Holy shit, it's awesome!
Hey, the police!
Let's go round back,
We'll see better!
What did I tell you, Capt'n?
That animal didn't get here by itself,
There's no access,
The only openings are too small for it,
It's human blood,,, in the cow, Capt'n,
Say again? Human blood in the animal?
It's human blood in the cow, Capt'n,
Are you positive?
What's going on here?
“The Human Beast”!
It's Zola, Capt'n,
We're not here to philosophize, Carpentier,
Even so,
It's incredible,
What's going on over there?
No use hiding, I see you,
Clear out of there!
Clear out!
County Sheriff, Clear out,
Get rid of those kids!
You fuckin' kidding me?
My clothes!
- Sorry, Capt'n, - Well, yeah,
Watch it! You better learn how to get down,
You were near the edge,
It was unreal!
How'd they get that cow in there?
Maybe the cow was out partying and drank too much,
How'd it fly? Maybe it has wings?
You're a damn fool, Carpentier!
Get me an autopsy on that cow,
Then we'll go see the farmer,
What are those kids doing, Carpentier?
- Dunno, Capt'n, - They've got no business there!
Raisin' hell, there!
Let's roll!
What the hell is this?
Fun's over,,, the Traffic Code!
Keep right, I said!
I'll notify your parents!
The Traffic Code for crying out loud!
What's the big idea?
Carpentier, can't you,,, slow down
while I'm shouting?
Fuckin' kidding me?
That was low!
What the hell was that?
Why didn't you stop so I could yell at those kids?
Stop, when I say stop,
- Sorry, Capt'n, - Next time, watch it!
Well, nobody home,
I don't understand, Capt'n,
- Legs sore? - Yep,
What the -
Are you insane?
What's going on there?
I wonder myself,
- Shoot like that often? - Yes,
What's going on?
- Mr, Lebleu? - Yes, that's me,
Hello, County Sheriff,
Captain Van der Weyden, from Boulogne-sur-Mer, Rogier,
Rudy Carpentier,
We found one of your animals,
A kid must've opened the gate,
I doubt it, It was dead,
- Dead? - In a bunker,
So it wasn't just the gate,
We need you to identify it,
Not like it's a person,
We have to be sure it's one of yours,
Alright?
Let's roll, Carpentier,
Goodbye, Mr, Lebleu!
That was so cool!
Last stop, everybody off!
My love,
Shit, what is it this time?
Haul ass and pick it up!
First day of vacation and nothing's changed,
Look at it,
The handle bars are all messed up!
Shit! Right, girl?
- You just getting home now? - Lay off me, Ma!
I always get yelled at here,
Vacation ain't just for sitting around!
What else is it for?
Come,
Give it,
Give it here,
Fuck, Give it!
What the hell's going on!
You bust everyone's chops!
Get over here!
Now, I said!
Get over here!
Goddamn kids today!
Whatcha doing with those bikes?
Huh, kid?
Go ahead and laugh in my face,
It's dangerous, weaving all over the road,
Come here, County Sheriff,
What's the Traffic Code? Don't you know?
Whatcha learn in school?
You live around here?
Well, that's nice, you live in the country,
I would've loved to live in the country as a kid,
Don't cry!
The Sheriff's Department is here to serve and protect,
We're not,,, don't cry,
We're hereto, um,
to protect people,
And stay safe yourself,
Stay off the street,
Don't cry, it's OK,
There are rules,
It was my dream,
living in the country,
The animals and all that, I would've liked that too,
We're watching you, Be careful,
Ready, Carpentier?
What'd those assholes want?
I dunno, some bullshit,
Was it bullshit, or did you screw up?
- I didn't screw up! - Come on,
Always making trouble!
Come inside,
Let's go!
Keep going!
Quinquin, stand at the gate,
Come on, Aurélie,
Eve!
Let's go! Keep moving!
Shame on you, Quinquin, Do you realize?
A firecracker in the house,
Go help Pappy and Nanny set the table
because I think it's gonna be a mess,
Throw the glass!
Look at Pappy go!
Sounds like the fireworks we heard earlier,
What did we hear?
And you laugh?
I can see it's summer vacation,
Pappy, what'd you do?
What's going on in here? Quinquin!
Impossible, a kid like that!
What was all that racket?
It's Pappy and Nanny, raising hell,
Doing what?
- They tease you? - Nah!
Can I get some money for fries, please?
What! Alright, in my jacket,
Give it,
Hey, stop that,
- You OK, Li'l Quinquin? - Yeah,
Place is empty, René,
Of course it is, Look what time you're eating,
I'm hungry,
Did you see the time?
You are Li'l Quinquin, ain't you?
Well?
- Good? - Great,
You sure are hungry,
See that? Those tourists just whiz right by,
They could at least buy your fries,
Hey, Jordan!
Be careful!
Don't fight! Jordan!
Knock it off!
Kick his ass, Li'l Quinquin!
Knock it off!
- Fuck you, Kevin! - It's over, stop!
You're too old for that!
Relax,
What about the bike?
- Keep it, - Sure!
Real nice,
Shut your face!
You got your ass kicked!
You disgraced yourself!
We'll throw firecrackers at them!
Fuck, it burns!
What's wrong with your hand?
I burned myself with the fucking firecracker,
He can't even throw,
Shut your face!
Stop laughing!
Captain?
Captain, Lieutenant,
Sorry, I was delayed due to car trouble,
At 10:30, I got the cow,
At 11:30, I cut her open,
What else?
I opened the whole cow,
I removed the entrails, the liver, and all that,
I found several fingers,
an index, a thumb,
and a foot,
Holy shit,
Incredible,
An entire human body,
chopped into pieces and stuffed in this cow's ass!
I can't say what time, because my wife called -
So I can't say,
OK, let's roll,
We're at the heart of evil, Carpentier,
It's “The Human Beast,” Capt'n,
- I've never seen such an atrocity, - Me neither,
It's a female, age 45,
Caucasian, Headless,
- Headless? - No head either!
No head,
The head's missing,
I'm just the veterinarian,
We'll call the lab,
You're free to go,
Carpentier, give Boulogne a call,
The Crime Lab,
Find me that head,
Alright, Capt'n,
Hello, Boulogne? Lieutenant Carpentier, here,
Yes, we'll need a team,
Here,
That's right, for a -
A pick-up,
We've got one body, female,
Headless, So I need the head basically,
So,,, a team, on the double,
How long?
- Ten minutes, Capt'n, - Good, we'll wait,
OK, let's do it, See you then,
I need the head,
I need the head, Carpentier!
MR, LEBLEU IN A STATE OF SHOCK
MRS, LEBLEU'S HEAD LOCATED
FUNERAL THIS MORNING
Lemme get a drag,
Right after I take one,
Here,
Thanks,
- Give it here, - Wait, one more,
Let's go,
Dear friends -
My friends -
The Lebleu family -
For her whole family -
Which has brought us here today,
Hail Mary,,,
full of grace,,,
the Lord,,, with thee,
Blessed art,,, thou inside all women,
Holy Mary, Mother of God,,,
pray for you, sinners,,,
and for our death,
Amen,
Quinquin,
Blessed are you,
God of all creation,
You who offers this wine,,,
fruit of the vine,,,
and work of human hands,
Blessed be God forever,
Over here! Quinquin,
Get down,
Let us pray,,,
for the family of Irène
and for her husband,
Lord, hear us,
Lord, answer our prayers,
Sir?
Sorry, sir? That lady in the coffin, did you put her back together?
You and your pals are a bunch of little jerks,
You've got no business in the cemetery,
You think that's funny?
Little jerks!
Scram, you've got no business here,
Goddamnit!
Little jerks! Clear out!
Stupid kids,
They're young, It's normal to ask stupid questions,
But to be that stupid? No, I've seen better,
Because, that -
They're as stupid as it gets!
That said,,,
I do wonder what they did about the body,
I dunno,
Maybe the murderer's one of them,
Whaddya think, Carpentier?
Maybe Capt'n, but -
My condolences, Mr, Lebleu,
My condolences,
How awful! How awful!
Heart of evil, Father,
We're at the heart of evil,
That's for sure,
Yes, it is,
It's inconceivable,
Children are our only hope,
Children!
Hope, my ass!
That little jerk's mocking me!
And the other kids, them too,
Let's roll, Carpentier,
What?
A cow carcass at Chicken Pass?
Let's roll, Carpentier!
County Sheriff!
Pull over! County Sheriff!
At the Heart of Evil
Capt'n?
I'd like to try driving on two wheels,
Go ahead,
- You don't mind? - No, go for it!
It's a passion,
- It's a passion, - Good for you,
I'll admit I'm more confident on four wheels,
But two wheels is,,, pretty thrilling,
But the hard part's staying on two wheels,
Well, where is it?
Over here,
Capt'n, it's identical,
Down to the last detail,
This whole thing is really starting to bug me,
Well, Capt'n, here we go again,
Open that cow's ass, and show me what's inside,
Open it?
- When? - Now,
I'm taking the initiative,
You're taking responsibility?
I'm in charge, Done!
Let's do it, Open her up,
Capt'n!
Capt'n, you were right!
There is a human body,
No need for intimacy, Carpentier,
Telephone,
It's a text message,
What does it say?
Crime Lab,
The animal will be hard to ID
because the evidence got -
the animal's full of seawater, so -
But anyway,
Luckily they did find hoof prints,,,
on the beach so the cow got there by itself,
And they found cow dung along the way,
You don't say!
We know it's Mr, Lebleu's because we found the ear tag
it was wearing,
- So we know - - Tag? You mean its number?
Yeah, its number -
So we know,
Hey!
Speak of the Devil, look!
Look!
The bunker where we found the first cow!
See the bunker?
Oh, yes, See, Carpentier?
Our whole case revolves around this place,
It does seem that way,
It's starting to,,, revolve,
Right in this area here,
You think this is the spot?
- Yes, Everything - - Revolves -
- Around this area, Carpentier, - Gotcha,
Let's roll!
Whatcha doing, Li'l Quinquin!
Hey, Pappy,
- You OK? - Don't throw your bike!
Where'd Nanny go?
Dunno,
You don't know?
She left, I dunno where,
She went that way, I dunno,
Getting some sun?
Getting some sun, Personally -
- Not worried about sunburn? - You bet,
- Not worried about sunburn? - No,
- Fine otherwise? - Fine,
- Feeling good? - Feeling good,
Have you ever seen a dead cow on the beach?
A cow?
Yeah, dead on the beach,
No, I ain't never seen a cow on the beach,
Do you think a cow could get into a bunker?
Well, no,
Can a person fit inside a cow's ass?
Cows go inside barns,
Want me to bring you inside?
Yeah,
C'mon, I'll bring you inside,
Come on,
Tell them I ain't eating here,
And this guy,
he chainsawed its ass!
I dunno, it was -
They were on the beach, and I was up on the cliffs
at Chicken Pass,
I don't want anymore,
What are they doing with our women?
Hey, the track's closed!
What's it to you?
The track doesn't belong to you,
Did I ask you, Élodie?
You mix with this trash?
Our friends are our business,
You shouldn't hang with foreigners,
- Mind your business! - Shut up, Patricia!
Off the track, We're open,
Run for it, guys!
Quinquin, next time I'll have your head!
It's those bastards!
- Their ass is grass! - We'll fuck them up,
That's where the bastards live,
My husband!
I don't know what happened!
Look, the cops,
Maybe the ones from earlier,
What the heck's going on?
- Wanna go see? - Why me?
Because the fatso already knows me,
He's seen me before,
And we need to know what's up,
Go on!
Get going!
Go!
But there are cops!
Go around the other way!
Go around, dumbbell,
What do I do?
Fuck,
- Were you snooping? - No, sir!
County Sheriff!
- I've seen you before, - Nu-uh,
We'll get him out of there!
What the hell's going on!
County Sheriff!
Time to stop screwing around!
I'm fed up with those little snots,
I'd bet my life, Capt'n,
On what?
That lady's husband,
Mr, Bhiri,
Maybe he's connected to the body we found in the beached cow,
Maybe he is, maybe he isn't,
Until I see the lab work,
I won't say,
Lab work is lab work, Lab work is sacred,
Just because he's missing, doesn't mean it's related,
It's just a hunch,
In any case,,,
his wife sure is upset, Broken heart,
Her kids too, Right?
She's crying cats and dogs,
Let's roll,
Those brats are seriously starting to piss me off!
Hey, I'm stuck!
- Hey, mister! - In your face!
So, Sexton?
Sexton, I'm gonna fuck you up! You're dead!
C'mon, Sexton baby!
Full speed ahead!
Well, gramps?
You fag!
Try standing at the altar now!
Fag!
Next time learn to drive!
What a fag!
The Sexton sucks!
He sucks ass!
He sucks, he sucks, he sucks ass!
Do you understand me?
Do you understand?
Mind speaking French please?
We're in France here,
You,,, do you understand me?
Understand me?
Look, this won't take long,
Let me say why I'm here,
A certain Mrs, Bhiri -
You know Mr, Bhiri?
Not,,, one week, no,
One week?
What, one week?
- One week, - Not see Mr, Bhiri,
He's been out one week?
One week,,, no Mr, Bhiri,
That's weird,
Well?
Carpentier? What is this?
- We're not getting anywhere, - Right,
Right, so Mr, Bhiri's been out all week,
So Mr, Bhiri, you never see him?
Ask the boss,,, we not boss,
Are you jerking us around?
Hey, I'm talking to you!
A construction site, and no one speaks French?
Find me someone!
Yes, hello?
Wow, an Arab who speaks French!
He works here, Mr, Bhiri,
but he hasn't come in all week,
But he hasn't been to his other job either,
We didn't know that he,,, has a second job,
At the slaughterhouse,
- That too? - Yes,
He misses work, maybe he's in love?
It's Dallas here, Carpentier,
- To the slaughterhouse! - Mr, Colonel?
I forgot to -
to say even more things,
The woman who was,,, chopped into bits
was his lady friend,
Damn, Carpentier, that's for us!
Onward! Onward!
Are you sure of what you said?
I'm sure, What I said is truth,
Because it's serious,
Yes, I'm sure,
OK! Let's roll, Carpentier,
Haven't I suffered enough without all your questions?
Mr, Lebleu, you didn't know your wife had a lover?
No?
Because everyone else did,
If you know the answer, why do you ask?
Yeah, but -
Maybe you're a suspect too, no?
Maybe you had a motive,,, no?
It's a little odd, you being in the dark,
when everyone else knows,
If every cuckold cut up his wife, you wouldn't find many left whole,
You catch that?
No, Capt'n,
If every unfaithful wife got chopped up into pieces -
We're leaving,
but we'll be back,
Hard to know what he's got on his conscience,
Maybe he didn't know his wife had a lover,
A black man, Capt'n!
Slow down, He's just missing,
This black man screws his wife,
and he chops them up,
It's as simple as pie,
You heard him, If every missing woman
was found chopped up, there wouldn't be many left whole,
What does that even mean?
Maybe it means he's innocent too,
Because maybe he's innocent,
Kill your own wife,
chop her into pieces,
and stuff her in your,,,
own cow,
That's
a lot for one man,
You think he had help?
Are you thick or what, Carpentier?
For one man, that's a lot of- No?
Chop up your,,, cow!
Yes, maybe you're right,
That is a lot for one man,
Hey, sir!
Sir, County Sheriff!
Where's this herd from?
Next to the blockhouse,
You mean the bunker down there?
The one where we found Mrs, Lebleu,
inside the cow?
Poor animal,
Any missing today?
Yes, one got loose,
Is it you who milks them?
No, it's Mr, Lebleu, since his wife died,
So he milks them now?
Alright, then,
The cow she was found in, did you know it?
The cow that died? Yes, I did,
Did Mrs, Lebleu milk it?
It was Mrs, Lebleu,
And the night before we found her in the cow,
did she milk the animal here?
She milked it here,
Who turned it out?
Mr, Lebleu turns them out,
Same as every day?
Same as every day,
You're free to go,
Thank you,
Still here? You can help with the milking,
Yes? OK,
I'll pass on the message,
OK,
That was the medical examiner,
Just as I thought,
It was the body of a black man
that was found inside the cow on the beach,
But you know what the worst part is?
There was a piece of Mrs, Lebleu inside,
What the hell?
Which piece?
A finger,
So there are pieces just floating around?
Let's go get Mrs, -
Take her to the morgue to identify the body,
- The pieces? - Yeah,
In any case, Carpentier, this is a crime of passion,
You think so?
Yes, this changes everything,
Let's roll, Carpentier,
Onward, Carpentier,
Do you love me?
- Do I satisfy you? - Yes,
My Uncle Dany's back,
Hi, Dany, Back already?
He was at the clinic in Boulogne,
Because he's crazy?
I don't care, he's my uncle,
He makes me laugh,
Let's split,
Li'l Quinquin?
There's lots of tunnels, You can't see shit,
It's messed-up,
Check this out,
There's tons of them,
Look, it's a grenade,
Isn't it amazing?
It's my 60th,
I'll come back here
because there's lots of them,
Shit, I'm all gross,
I have to go wash off in the sea,
And I gotta pee,
I'm all gross,
Damn, I really had to pee!
The water's fucking freezing,
There are kids on our bunker,
Let's go see,
They're coming,
Fuck, where's my grenade?
My grenade is gone,
Gimme back my grenade!
Fucking give it back!
I said give it back, it's simple,
Fucking give it back!
I didn't want,,,
to hit them in front of you because they might've -
you might've been in danger and I didn't want that,
But with the gang, they would've taken a beating,
I'll kick their asses first chance I get,
You coming to my sister's singing competition?
I guess so,
Dany! Where are you?
Oh, there you are!
Whatcha doing?
Watching the concert?
Li'l Quinquin's there,
He went to the Terrier girl's singing competition,
Let's go inside,
That was our second-to-last contestant, Thomas Delmaie,
He sang us “Remember,”
Ladies and gentlemen,
we'll now ask the Clap-o-Meter to be the judge,
On the count of 3, give it up for Thomas!
1, 2, 3!
Our singers are competing for a spot on national TV,
So encourage them if you want to see them again,
Now for the final contestant of our talent show,
Put your hands together
for our very own Aurélie Terrier!
- How are you? - Fine, thanks,
- What'll you be singing? - “Cause I Knew,”
- Nervous? - Not really,
Give it up for Aurélie Terrier!
That was Aurélie Terrier!
How'd it feel, Aurélie?
Same as with the others,
the audience will now clap to score you,
For Aurélie,,, 1, 2, 3!
Hey, look! it's that nigger,
We're gonna fuck those ragheads up!
Sons of bitches! You're dead!
Dirty ragheads!
- That could be them, - Can it, Kevin!
Quiet the fuck down!
Fuck, Mohamed, your phone!
They're over there, those bastards!
You raghead cocksuckers! Dirty bastards!
Later, assholes!
- Sons of bitches! - Fuck you!
It's not worth chasing them,
We already kicked their asses,
You're right, Quinquin,
Come on,
The trucks pull up here,
we unload the animals,
and bring them to the stalls inside,
Did you know Mr, Bhiri?
Yes, I do, and I was sorry
to hear that he was found dead in a cow on the beach,
We worked together, He was a ritual slaughterer like me,
When the animals arrive we keep them here,
in these holding pens,
Where's the veterinarian?
On the other side, We'll go see him,
That's Mr, Delaye,
What a massacre! I'm switching to fish,
Mr, Delaye!
You asked to see me?
Lieutenant,
So what do the tests say?
They say that -
I did tests on the cows from the beach and bunker,
OK, What did you find?
They had mad cow disease,
- A mad cow? - Two mad cows?
Guess we can breathe easy,
- Is that it? - No, I found something else,
They weren't inserted into the ass
but into the mouth,
Into the mouth?
So the bodies weren't introduced anally, but orally?
Correct,
Well, Capt'n,
we were on the wrong track,
So someone chopped up a human body
and left it in the field for the cows to eat,
- That's it, - That's it!
By the way, Doctor,
cows aren't carnivores, right?
Well?
But mad cows are,
So a mad cow could eat a human body?
Well, Capt'n, we've entered
a “realm of reason,”
What's a mad cow capable of? Eating a human being,
What's next?
- Anything to add? - Not right now,
You know where to find us,
We'll leave you now,
Give us a call,
Number one,
Mrs, Lebleu and Mr, Bhiri were lovers,
Two, we find them murdered,
Three, chopped to bits,
Four, inside cows,
Two mad cows,
Technically, yes,
One in a bunker,
we don't know how,
The other on the beach,
We don't know why,
It's the Devil Incarnate, Carpentier,
Let's roll,
Hey, Li'l Quinquin!
Speedyman!
Who are you? Whatcha doing here?
Speedyman!
Who's Speedyman?
Watch out for my walls!
Aren't you Eve's cousin?
Speedyman!
Guy, what the fuck!
Your mom's waiting to go mussel hunting,
Shake a leg!
Move it!
Your cousin -
He totally nailed it, It's totally believable,
his Speedyman,
It's totally believable,
Why did you leave last night before the results?
It's because
we saw those two bastards again,
So we hunted them down,
and they got an ass-whooping
you wouldn't believe,
- Did your sister win? - Yes,
She's a star, She'll be on TV,
Hello! Pardon me!
Passing through! For my walk!
Go take your walk,
Speedyman!
You're gonna make me fall down!
I ain't scared!
What the hell are you doing, Guy?
He's gonna fall!
Cut the Speedyman crap!
Fuck! You OK, Dany?
Fuck you, asshole!
I'll get you!
Fucking asshole!
What'd you do to Uncle Dany?
It wasn't me!
- Then who was it? - Speedyman,
- Who's he? - Speedyman,
- Where'd he come from? -I dunno,
You play with strangers?
This morning he just showed up uninvited -
Enough!
Soon as I deal with your uncle, you'll get yours,
Got it?
I've got my eye on you,
Why'd he say that?
Dunno,
That fatso's starting to bug me,
- Gimme a lift to the parade? - OK,
I'll go get my trumpet,
I'll get my bike,
I'm watching you, kid!
Now we know where you live!
Oh, here you are!
Hop on,
Ready?
And we're off!
- Not too stressed? - No, I'm OK,
The Devil Incarnate
- Hello, - Captain,
Hello, Where's your coach?
That blond woman over there,
- Hi, a word, please, - Hello,
I'm Captain der Weyden from Boulogne,
I'm investigating a -
I'm a little tongue-tied,
- About Mrs, Lebleu, - Yes?
So,
notice anything unusual recently?
No, she always came to practice,
Yeah?
Nothing suspicious?
No, She was the same as always,
- And Mr, Bhiril - - I'm sorry?
Mr, Bhiri doesn't ring a bell either?
He's Aicha's father, a girl in our group,
He has a daughter?
Of course, Aicha, come say hello,
Aicha?
Say hi to the gentleman,
Say hello,
So Mrs, Lebleu knew her dad?
He brought her to practice, Mrs, Lebleu was there as director,
We have to take our places now,
Come on, girls,
Carpentier!
They're jerking us around,
Obviously Mrs, Lebleu and Mr, Bhiri,,,
knew each other better than that,
Everyone's jerking us around, no?
Because,,,
no one will say anything,
It's as plain as - What is it?
The face on your nose that -
Plus Aicha, Mr, Bhiri's daughter, is a majorette, so -
I'm positive they were lovers,
Yup, Well, let's roll,
They're all looking at us!
Without law enforcement, there'd be chaos,
No encores, Once we're gone, tough luck,
Hi, Rogier,
The Devil's in our midst,
He's looking down at us,
Attention!
Eve!
Watch it!
Mr, Mayor, Nice ceremony,
I'm all for law enforcement!
- How'd it go? - Great,
Any trouble?
No, perfect,
Let me introduce our local veterans,
Our contingent that,,,
dwindles by the year,
I hope at some point there'll be fresh troops,
to make new veterans,
There'll always be war,
You can be sure the young will start new ones,
Because the young will -
I can see it coming,
- A war in which region? - Dunno,
- Africa? - No, all over,
All over? Total war, then,
Not very comforting,
Goodbye, Mr, Mayor,
Alright, See you next time,
Poor Rogier, Is he a complete idiot?
What hogwash!
He doesn't know what war is,
He's no leader,
You need authority to lead,
Maybe he's unfit for duty,
That fatso's always on my case,
Maybe he's a fag,
So you know Mr, Lebleu?
- Mister? - Lebleu,
I just saw you together,
He's more than a friend, judging by your display,
Mr, Lebleu?
He's just a friend like I told you,
That's total bullshit,
- Not at all, - It sure is,
Let's call my lawyer,
But there are people watching,
Let's not make a scene, so -
The mayor's watching too,
What's this funny business?
Rogier, what in darnation are you doing?
On Bastille Day? With our majorette?
She's coming with me,
- I won't spoil your holiday, - Thank you,
Did you question him?
No, I was waiting for you,
Mr, Lebleu, you can go, We'll talk later,
I won't bother you today,
I don't get it, Capt'n, Why let him go?
- Why? - Yes,
It's Bastille Day, Plus, it's sacred,
Always has been, always will be,
Sacred is sacred,
Bastille Day is sacred, And it's mystical too,
Let's roll!
Get on,
Hold on tight,
We're going to the bunker,
Alright?
Eve!
Corning, Li'l Quinquin!
You playing funeral music?
Sad, ain't it?
I wonder how the cow ended up here,
And how the lady ended up inside it,
Look what I found,
There are tons over there,
Hold me,
Come, my love,
Go give the firemen a hand!
What kind of dimwit parks on the beach?
Get lost!
How can you be so stupid? Wasting taxpayers' money!
Carpentier!
Hello, sir,
Do you own this vehicle?
It's completely submerged,
I was mussel hunting and the tide snuck up on me,
You wanna be on TV?
The firemen have it under control,
Are you a fireman?
Then let's roll, we've got work to do,
Try working for a change,
Look, it's my favorite bunker,
It's marvelous,
Truly extraordinary,
I'm going exploring,
The bunker collapsed,
but I found a tunnel
where I'd never been,
Well, I'm going,
Wait for me, OK?
Don't leave without me,
Li'l Quinquin!
Hey there!
How'd you get over there?
I found a secret passageway,
This bunker's connected to the other one,
It was so dark I couldn't see,
Wait, do you realize?
There,
Maybe the cow -
It probably came this way,
It didn't fall from the sky,
See?
Let's split,
- Why? You scared? - The Devil lives here,
Do I look OK?
Well, here I go,
I've just arrived on this farm
in a peaceful seaside town,
where heinous crimes have been committed, many crimes,
Two corpses turned up on the beach,
the bodies dismembered,
No! One was near the bunker!
The mood here is one of total shock,
It's a little town where -
This is a big town!
Where not much happens,
So after the first two corpses,
a third corpse is about to be announced,
It was found on this farm,
Residents are still in a state of shock
following these awful crimes,
I think we have a local here who can tell us more,
Hello, Jean-Michel,
Can you tell us how the population is reacting
to these mysterious and somewhat terrifying crimes?
I dunno,
You don't know?
What about you, Michel? What's your reaction?
I can't say,
Folks don't know,
But, Michel, how do you feel about these awful crimes?
You have to ask the owners,
Then you have to ask the townsfolk,
Thanks, Jean-Michel,
Behind me the police
and CSI unit are hard at work,
That's the last straw,
Hey, Carpentier?
A herd of frenzied reporters,
Like dung flies,
Look at me, I better fix my hair first,
It's fine, Yeah, you look good,
Good, Let's go,
Excuse me, Capt'n?
What's the latest?
What did you find on this little farm?
We found a corpse,
According to the medical examiner,
it's Mr, Lebleu, the farm's owner,
What state was the body in?
I can't comment at this stage,
We found his wife a week ago,
For now the tests are ongoing, so we can't -
We can't comment,
We're still doing tests so,,, sorry,
What's the status of the case,
now that a third body has been found brutally murdered?
That's all for today,
The camera! Watch out!
Stand back!
The dung flies are afraid of moo-cows!
See how dumb they are?
Let's roll,
See, Carpentier?
You thought this man murdered his wife and her lover,
Odd, finding him in his slurry tank,
Suicide, maybe,
You kidding me? In a slurry tank?
It's a murder,
I don't need lab work to know that,
But you always say to wait for lab results,
Lab results are the rule,
And rules are rules,
You're a good cop, Carpentier,
You'll end up with my job, I'll even give it to you,
I know a woman who's sure to know something,
Let's roll,
What are all these dung flies doing in the car?
Let's try the parade moves again,
Begin with two twirls like this,
3, 4,
1,,,
2,
Everyone got it? One more time,
3, 4,
And now with music,
One more time,
So the next one is -
With your left hand,
The same thing with the right,
Above your head, back, right, front,
to the side -
- Mrs, Campin? - and turn,
Mrs, Campin, we have to finish our little chat,
You know my name?
Yes, I saw you yesterday with Mr, Lebleu,
What a horrific crime,
Were you two an item?
Isn't that obvious?
What's it to you?
A police investigation is under way,
People are dead and all that,
Were you together yesterday?
You saw us, didn't you?
What'd you do after?
I was at home with my husband, Here he is now,
See you next week, girls,
How could she fall for a farmer?
When she's got such a handsome biker,
You know what they say: big chopper, little pecker,
He could've put his wife's lover in a slurry tank, no?
Whaddya think?
- Sir? - Yeah, what?
Young lady,
What is it?
A little girl interested in police work, Good!
What do you want to know?
Li'l Quinquin found a tunnel yesterday,
And there he is,
Future citizens of France! Good,
Let's go see,
“Quinquin, my li'l chick My big ol' raisin,,,”
So what'd you find?
The tunnel to the other bunker,
where the dead cow was found,
You found the entrance? Well, take us there,
Let's roll, Carpentier,
Show us the secret passageway,
You go first,
So the cow came this way?
Beats me,
You know that
you got no business being in a bunker,
Fine,
It's against the law,
Don't do it again,
Over here, sir,
You hit the jackpot,
You stepped in dung, sir,
- In what? - Cow dung,
Gosh darnit! it's shit!
It did come this way, by George!
Good afternoon, sir,
Hello,
I'm bringing back your kid and a little girl,
Good work, champ,
Well, I'll be back,
Nice farm you got here,
Yes,
And a great view to boot,
Who's that walking over there?
- My brother, - Your brother?
Well, I'll be going now,
Mr,,, what was it?
Mr, Lebleu,
Mr, Lebleu?
That's odd,
Are those your kin at the farm down below?
No?
Yes,
That's good to know,
Li'l Quinquin, I learned something coming out here,
Good work,
Thanks to you, we learned stuff today,
Secret tunnel in the bunker, That's great,
It's a good lead,
Mr, Lebleu, be careful, Your cousin is dead, after all,
So,
we'll probably meet again, OK?
Because there've been deaths,
We'll meet again,
Get over here,
Why'd you bring them here?
It wasn't me, Eve snitched,
What'd she say?
That I found a secret tunnel between the two bunkers,
What were you doing in them bunkers?
You know it's not allowed!
That's twice they've shown up,
It's that tub of lard,
He's always on my case,
Well, you make trouble!
- No, - Yes, you do!
They even brought the bike,
Yeah, but if Eve snitches,
I have to show them,
You're grounded! Got it?
He was your cousin!
You could've told me,
We don't see them anymore,
Come on, Dany,
Did you get in trouble?
What do you think?
It's his cousin who got killed,
- Your father's cousin? - Yeah,
See this, Carpentier?
A fine machine like this,
It makes me think of a fine animal too,
A human being, maybe, or better,
A woman's body! That'd be even better!
Capt'n? The Lebleus -
They're not cousins, but brothers,
What? They're brothers?
That fella lied to me,
He didn't lie, It was you who brought up his cousin,
He didn't say anything,
But he's still a smartass,
So it's time,,,
to solve this case, Carpentier,
Nobody's home? Go see, Ring the doorbell,
OK, I'll try again,
But there's no answer,
A gunshot will wake them,
Well? Ring again!
Nobody's home at this time,
Let's roll, then,
What's all the ringing?
What's the matter?
Didn't we see each other this morning?
Did we wake you up?
Yeah, I'm a night owl,
Sorry, but -
Your husband's out?
He's at work, Why?
I didn't finish my questions this morning,
Not in front of him, thank you,
Did your husband know about you and Mr, Lebleu?
And your wife, does she know you have a mistress?
Don't start again, Mrs, Campin,
Sheriff's Dept,
Do you want to go to jail?
My husband knew nothing,
When did you start seeing Mr, Lebleu?
Three months ago,
Where were you last night?
At work, No mystery there,
I'm very tired and upset, I'd like to go back to bed,
We'll leave you,
but you may be asked to cooperate, OK?
I'll cooperate,
Handsome woman,
She impresses you, Capt'n?
Like that chopper impresses me,
But she -
I've never met such a tough cookie!
I mean, she's tough,
Yeah,
We shouldn't fool ourselves,
Maybe she killed the whole darn lot of them,
- You think? - Yes,
Let's roll, Carpentier!
Your show was awesome the other day,
That's sweet,
I'm being serious!
You do little shows, but you could do big ones,
You really have a voice,
What's your name?
Mohamed, like the Prophet,
- Hey, Aurélie, - Hi, Jennifer,
Are you free tonight?
- Is he your boyfriend? - No,
- Who are you? - Mind your business,
I'm allowed to ask who you are,
Did I ask you? No? So shut up,
Don't sass me, I'm not your girlfriend,
Good, I'm glad!
So am I because, frankly,
dating a dirty nigger like you? No thanks!
Well, this nigger says you're a big fat whore!
Well, the whore says go back to Africa, monkey!
Piece of shit!
Look, it's your sister!
- Stop it! - Very funny,
Stop it!
Drift off there, Carpentier?
It was you who drifted off,
No, I was thinking,
The sea makes my head spin,
Well, it helps me think,
Whatever, it's only water,
If you're so smart, why haven't you found,,,
whoever killed all those people?
I don't know, Capt'n,
I really don't,
But what I do know
is how deep evil is,
And how vast,
Go take a dip, You'll see things even clearer,
I have a philosopher with me now,
Horseshit!
When it's time, it's time,
Captain Van der Weyden,
- Wait there, Carpentier, - Please, Captain,
Make yourself comfortable,
- You OK? - Yes, Mr, Prosecutor,
- Everything alright? - Yeah,
Weather's nice, No complaints,
Yes, nice day,
Very pretty, Nice view, Stupendous,
Plus,
the English coast's visible, so sunshine is guaranteed,
The English coast?
Off in the distance,
All that's the English coast?
Yup, no problem,
Everything I see there?
That's the English coast?
I thought it was the Opal Coast,
No, we're not surprised, That's just how it is,
Very impressive, Never seen anything like it,
“English shores, it never pours!”
- So it'll be sunny, - Really?
There's another proverb: “Morning sun brings rain,”
Not in my parts, News to me,
So when it rains, there'll be bad weather later,
No way! That's your proverb?
Yes, that too,
If it rains? But it's not raining,
Morning rain, and the whole day's screwed,
I just learned something,
When it's sunny, how do you explain that?
No, it's just sunny, We see the English coast!
I had to come here to learn your local proverbs,
Still, let's get down to business, Captain,
I saw your pretty face on TV -
Back to business, Captain, I saw your -
- What'll it be? - Nothing for me, I don't drink,
Enjoy!
Van der Weyden, Captain, let's get down to business,
We've been seeing a lot of you on TV,
I don't have a set,
How's the case going?
We've got three related victims,
They're so closely related, two of them are chopped meat,
There's the wife, the husband, the lover,
And the lover's dead,
So all three are dead,
So he's not around to kill the others,
so we're sitting pretty,
Sitting pretty?
Three murders and no arrests? The killer's still at large,
I want results, Captain, This is serious,
We're seriously investigating, so -
Depends on your definition of “serious,”
Yes, but -
- I want results, - No problem,
Three unsolved murders,
What about the cows?
They ate chopped-up human beings,
So it's mad cow disease,
There's that too!
We found one in a bunker -
But how'd it get there?
We found a secret tunnel,
A second cow on the beach,
And the husband in all this?
The husband,
we know he had a mistress,
If not the cuckold, maybe his brother,
I'd like to get back to business, please,
Captain! Van der Weyden?
I want results,
We have three bodies, there've been no arrests,
Time to get cracking,
We're counting on you,
on your professionalism, if it's not too much to ask,
Well, I'm off,
I'll see you soon,
Enjoy, gentlemen,
You too,
Captain?
Yes, Mr, Prosecutor?
We'll stay in touch, And this time, don't make waves,
Anyway,
I can't stand the media, the cameras and all that,
They're dung flies, I say,
Captain, No dung, no flies,
Yeah, but -
So, Capt'n?
Good debrief?
No flies, no dung, Carpentier!
From now on, we keep our mouths shut,
Let's roll, Carpentier,
Goodbye, Mr, Prosecutor!
How can you bring a kid like that to a restaurant?
If you had a kid like that, what would you do?
I wouldn't have a kid like that,
That's harsh,
It might be harsh, but, no,
- Well - - Really!
I'm sorry I said it, but we're all hypocrites,
Let's go,
Need a hand, folks?
Maybe I can help?
See, all patched up,
The SWAT team?
Yeah,
We're on our way,
To the Bhiri place, quick! He's shooting anything that moves!
Shame on the French!
Shame on France!
Where's your superior?
Are you Captain Van der Weyden?
Yes,
The kid's gone postal,
I'm going in,
Hey, I'm unarmed!
Nutcase!
Shame on the French!
The kid's gone ballistic,
He's gone totally berserk,
Maybe it's his father's death,
Huh?
I said maybe it's his father's death,
- No way, you crazy? - Maybe you're right,
Otherwise the balconies would be overflowing,
His homeland, France,
he just can't stomach it,
We didn't accept him, so he went berserk,
Then they find religion, Islam and all that,
- Think so? - It's a lot for kids like that,
They go berserk and they end up doing this,
And what he's doing now,
it's beyond comprehension,
That's it,
What's going on, sir?
Nothing, Stay back,
Look, it's Mohamed,
It's that hoodlum again, shooting up the place,
He went crazy,
Well, Sergeant? What's the plan?
Wait till he gets tired,
Yeah,
The whole generation's crazy,
Yes, Anyway, we'll try to capture him alive,
Good,
Well?
Capt'n?
What's happening?
They're gonna storm the place, it'll be a bloodbath,
I feel it, So I'll go myself,
- You? - Yes,
Oh, fuck!
I repeat, the child is deceased,
Mission aborted,
It's no joke,
Weird, we wanted to kill him and now he's dead,
Fuck! Our castle got destroyed!
The tide came in, brainless,
What's going on?
That black kid put a bullet in his head,
Mohamed?
Yeah, the nigger,
I'll walk you,
Don't just stand there, guys,
Fuck this!
That's enough,
Don't move,
Good horse,
Let's go for a walk,
Mr, Lebleu? Hello,
Hello,
Your wife said you'd be here,
Beautiful animals,
- They Boulonnaises? - Yes,
Magnificent, your horses,
See that, Carpentier?
This animal's the most beautiful thing on earth,
that and a woman's body,
Right, girl?
Pretty lady,
Yeah,
Carpentier, I had a dream when I was a tyke,
It was to ride a horse,
Maybe Mr, Lebleu will let you ride,
Would that be alright, Mr, Lebleu?
- We can try, - Let's try,
Let's go,
Come on,
Well?
Hey! You can't just mount like that,
You need the bridle,
- Easy there, - Ready?
Is your partner coming? We could use him,
Here, beautiful,
Stand closer,
Mount straight up, not across,
Go on!
- Move up! - Fuck!
There you go,
Move your seat up,
- Easy, - Walk,
Easy,
Grab onto the mane, Come on, walk,
Hold onto the mane, Walk,
This way!
Easy, girl,
Oh, you're pretty!
Aren't you pretty?
Oh, you're pretty!
Carpentier, I'm doing it!
- Come on, - Atta girl!
Come on,
Walk,
Atta girl,
So, Mr, Lebleu?
You never said the victims were your brother and his wife,
You never asked,
Really? Is that so?
Atta girl,
You ain't on a girl,
- Really? - You're on a male,
- You're bullshitting me, - No,
I don't kid around,
Holy shit!
What's that?
I told you, it's a male,
That was beautiful, Capt'n!
Just beautiful!
Yeah, but,,,
I mistook a boy for a girl,
Mr, Lebleu? Come here a sec,
I'd like to know why you and your brother quarreled,
It's been going on for 30 years,
Since my folks' inheritance,
He got the farm, and I got my brother Dany,
That's often the case when money's at stake,
Things get messy in families,
It's not uncommon,
I've got no tears to shed for my brother,
I married years later, My wife doesn't even know,
So just do your job,
Yes, but this is a criminal investigation
into the deaths of your brother and his wife,
What you say doesn't make you,,,
any more innocent,
What?
It doesn't make you innocent,
Like I said, do your job,
I'll have to question your brother Dany though,
If you want,
I also want to thank you
for letting me ride your horse, It was very moving,
Brought back a few memories, did it?
Yeah, as a youngster,
I would've loved to ride,
It's a childhood dream
that just came true,
Time to go, sir,
- OK? - Where?
There,
So Mr, Lebleu, the brother who died on the farm -
Did you ever go there? No? You stayed put?
He never came by, he kept to himself?
County Sheriff, after all, so -
An investigation, No joke,
Several people are dead, so -
You don't care, do you?
Why won't you answer?
I'm gonna get some air,
because I've had it!
We won't get a peep out of him,
Did you get anything out of my brother-in-law?
Not much,
Poor thing,
- Well, Capt'n? - What?
Nothing,
Can't a man piss in peace in this yard?
Well, kid?
Your poor old bike,
Is the kid home?
Yes, Capt'n,
Capt'n? Your fly's open,
Attractive woman, Mrs, Lebleu,
If I'd had that tyke with that woman, he'd get a good thrashing,
Now,,,
I'm waiting for the dead to rise,
He's the imam's son,
Shit, the cops!
Well, he hit on me,
Me and Jennifer didn't say anything,
He said I was terrific,
He asked me out,
Yeah, I know,
I dunnou,
I guess he just snapped, with his religion and all,
Yeah, OK,
Later,
Capt'n, it's for you,
I just don't see how those pigs could have,,,
gobbled that girl up,
The whole body,
Not even 20 years old, We saw her only yesterday,
I know, Capt'n, I saw her too,
It's a real mess,
All these bodies,
How could someone do such a thing?
It could be an accident, Maybe she slipped,
No, this wasn't an accident,
It's like Lebleu whom we found in his tank, No,
These were crimes,
Horrific ones, even,
It's worse than the - the Holocaust here,
I'm gonna take a walk,
Oh, there you are,
Since last night, I've cut the pig in half,
The bones are undigested,
She died at,,, 12:30 AM,
- Lieutenant, - What?
Not a simple man, your captain,
Know what they call him?
“The Fog,”
You picked the wrong day, Carpentier,
It's the majorette, Capt'n, Mrs, Campin,
- What about her? - She was found dead,
At Goose Point,
We should've protected that woman, Carpentier,
Is she whole?
Thankfully, she's whole,
But dead,
Goddamnit, Carpentier!
Think she just washed up like a mussel on a rock?
Well?
Notify her husband,
A minute of silence over there, please!
It's hell on earth now, Carpentier,
Everyone around Lebleu is dropping like flies,
Wife, lover, mistress,
But maybe this one we could've saved,
Attractive woman,
She was too hot to trot,
Reminds me of those Flemish paintings, the nudes,
The ones with those fat naked ladies,
Somebody decided to tidy up a little,
What do you mean, Capt'n?
An exterminator,
The extermination of all the degenerates,
In a word, the Devil,
And the Terrier girl?
Remember leaving Mrs, Campin's place?
We saw the Bhiri kid and Aurélie Terrier together,
Read this,
It was found on the young man's computer,
She humiliated him, Carpentier,
Humiliated him,
And the kid snapped,
He found religion, Islam, and all that horseshit,
That why she got eaten by pigs?
No, Exterminated,
Exterminated, Carpentier,
It's not the same thing,
This is hell, here,
We're going head-to-head with the Devil,
Let's roll, Onward!
Giddyup, horses!
Whatcha doing there, Dany?
Cut it out! You're gonna get kicked,
Giddyup!
Dany, stop that!
Giddyup horses!
Stop! You're acting crazy!
Stop it!
Are you crazy?
Look what you did!
Stop!
Just look what you're doing!
Pa! Come quick!
Pa! Tiger got loose!
- Quit it, Dany! - What's gotten into you two!
Shit!
It never ends! Come here, girl,
Enough already!
Gimme your nose,
Hand me the whip,
It wasn't me! He was the one fooling around,
- It never ends! - It was him,
I don't care who it was!
But he did it on purpose,
Let's go inside, Watch yourselves,
You're here?
We're leaving
to go visit the Terriers,
What a terrible tragedy,
Gimme your hand,
- Here, Pappy, - Thanks,
There,
Big animals, aren't they?
Yeah, They remind me,,,
of those Flemish paintings by -
What's that painter's name?
They're like,,,
that woman's body we found on the beach this morning,
How so?
All these creatures remind me of that,
They're like naked ladies,
Is that so?
They're naked,
I'm very moved,
OK, let's roll,
Oh, I remember now,
The Flemish painter I couldn't remember,
- Peter Paul Rubens, - Who?
Rubens,
Strange bird, that one,
We found the body of a corpse on the beach, Mr, Lebleu,
Your late brother's mistress,
All the suspects have been murdered!
So-
Plus, we found the girl next door butchered by pigs,
Everything revolves around this spot,
I don't know why, or how, but,,,
everything revolves around here, see?
Mr, Lebleu, the earth smells good, but,,,
here, it's sour,
You're gonna get dirty down there,
You're making me late, I've got a show,
OK,
Alright,
- What kind of show? - Horses,
Great!
All your silliness has made me late,
I'll never be on time,
Come here, sweetie,
Walk!
It's very sad, ma'am,
Should we cuff him?
Don't get exterminated, Carpentier!
The Demon's got you!
What do you mean, Capt'n?
Onward, Carpentier!
I was kidding, C'mon, I was just kidding!