You wanna know how I ended up here?
Actually, I blame my father,
See, when I was a kid,
I idolized many heroes,
But two of them loomed the largest,
One was my father,
Handsome and funny,
And I guess you could say, mysterious,
My other hero was my mom,
She was witty and glamorous,
with a heart of gold,
Oh, hey!
She made an art out of making a home,
Do you know what this is?
Traditional Irish folk music!
Right out of Dublin, my pretty! Come on,
♪ Guess who just got back today ♪
They were crazy about each other,
♪ Haven't changed, had much to say ♪
We were the perfect family,
♪ The boys are back in town, the boys are back in town ♪
Until we weren't,
Oh, my god,
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry,
Happy birthday, Happy birthday, honey,
Here, Here, here, here, Come sit with me,
Guess what? - And to this day,,,
Mom?
Over 30 years later,,,
What happened?
I still haven't forgiven the cowardly shit waffle
that beat up my mom and left us to fend for ourselves,
And that's why I became a divorce lawyer,
You want my advice?
Trust no one,
Don't be fooled by charming narcissists,
They will use you and abuse you,
They will rip out your heart,
throw it on the ground and stomp on it
until there's nothing but a gooey, sticky mess,
Wow, wasn't that inspirational, right?
Okay, does anyone have any questions for Ms, Fox?
Okay, go ahead,
What's a "shit waffle"?
That is a shit talker who is also an asshole,
Okay!
Field trip is over,
Thank you so much for your visit,
♪ Here I am, cryin' my eyes out ♪
That went rather well, don't you think?
You have certainly
given them lots to discuss
15 years from now with their therapists,
Therapy has done wonders for me,
I can tell,
But now, we are celebrating
Nancy Buchanan's alimony settlement,
- To vengeance, - To justice,,,
We won,
You poured a huge shot!
By the way, I booked your usual room,
And Mom sent your favorite, mm-hmm,
Excellent, You pick for me,
Fun,
Okay, how about this guy?
Um, looking for long term,
- Pass, - Okay, seeking life partner?
- Pass, - "Are you my soulmate"?
- Hard pass, - He looks nice,
And you're terrible at this,
Oh, Looks like you already have a date tonight,
Dave says he can't wait to see you?
- Hmm? - He loves you,
Oh, yeah, Forgot,
Sure, You could invest in stocks, bond, mutual funds,
You could, My point is Bitcoin is big screw you to the system,
Crypto empowers the little guy--
Whoa, look how late it is,
Time to go bye-bye,
It's 9:30,
I'm like snoring by 10:00,
Aww,
I was thinking this time I'd stay the night,
Let's take this relationship,,,
to the next level,
How's that sound?
Um,,,
You gotta go,
You gotta go, Dave,
Sorry,
Hi, good morning,
Good morning,
How was Dave?
Ah, uh, Dave,
Dave is "finito," Done like dinner,
I thought he might be boyfriend material,
Boyfriend material? What am I, 14?
What's on this morning?
Uh, new client, contested divorce, and,,,
this came in the mail for you today,
You open it,
Might have anthrax,
I,,, Stop,
I've made a lot of enemies,
Is there anything else?
Mmm, says it's from Wicklow, Ireland,
which is,,, random,
- What? - Yeah,
Oh! Sheesh!
Is this a bad omen?
Because I feel like this is a bad omen,
It's fine, Everything is perfectly fine,
Okay, great, I'm gonna go get the broom
and some sage and, um,,,
remember that your meeting is with--
Marjorie Westmiller, 15 minutes, gotcha,
And worthy justice bites the dust,
You've reached Declan Murphy Accounting,
Please leave a message,
It's Fiona,
Your daughter,
I got your package,
I don't know what this is all about,
but after 30 years of no word, Declan,
if you want to talk to me--
Dad?
Who's your dad, luv?
Declan Murphy,
He left a message for you,
He left me a message?
Why didn't he just call me?
The message is,,,
Blackbeard holds the key
to the treasure,
What? Why are you whispering?
I think mysteries are best left whispered,
Hello? What the actual hell?
Damn it,
And so it goes,
How's that? - It is perfect, thank you,
Good, good, I'll get Erin to wrap that up for you,
Have a happy retirement party, - Oh, thanks, Mary,
Hey, - Retirement party?
Yeah, dozen English professors,
They're jacked up on sugar, deconstructing Dickinson,
It's gonna be a rager,
What's up?
Well, this was delivered to my office,
What is it?
Well, that's Declan's handwriting, isn't it?
It,,, might be,
Well, that's the number to his accounting firm in Wicklow,
I heard his voice on his answering machine--
- You called him? - Mm-hmm,
Oh, Fi, I don't know about this,
I mean, after all this time--
I'll finally be able to live out my lifelong fantasy
of tearing him a new one,
No, I just,,,
I, we don't know what kind of man he's become
or what he might be messed up in,
I just,,,
Let it go, Honey, just forgive and forget,
Well, I don't forgive him,
I don't forgive him for leaving us,
It was 30 years ago,
I don't forgive him for never coming back!
Why would you want him back? The man was a trainwreck--
I don't want him back,
I want to look him in the eye
and ask him how he could leave me,
Us, And on my goddamn 10th birthday,
I can't deal with this right now,
Some things are just not worth knowing,
- Mom,,, - Mary, you have a customer,
Oh, I have a customer, Not now, Fi,
- I'll wait, - Don't, We'll talk tomorrow,
- Somehow, I doubt that, - Hey, Denise,
- Hi! - Oh, Unbelievable,
I sense you're in
a cherry cheesecake frame of mind,
Bye, Mom,
See you, honey,
♪ I wish I was a fisherman
♪ Tumblin' on the seas
♪ Far away from dry land
Thank you,
♪ And it's bitter memories
What do you mean? You're in Ireland?
I took the red eye, I had to,
What about your appointments?
I'll only be here for a day,
I just wanna track down Declan
and interrogate his ass until he tells me
why he suddenly metamorphosed
into a complete jackass on my 10th birthday,
Okay, What about the mystery locker photo?
There better be a TurboClash Deluxe action figure in there,
A what?
Uh,,, nothing,
I'll text you later,
Welcome to Wicklow, Fiona,
I've been expecting you,
I bet you weren't expecting this,,,
Holy Christ,
This one's got an arm on her,
Fiona meet Fiona,
I got her to replace you,
Look at her go,
- TurboClash? - Miss?
- What the fuck? - Miss?
We've arrived at your hotel,
Oh,
Oh, Wow,
Oh, thank you, sir, There you go,
What's the combination?
Well, I could tell you, but,,,
I'd have to kill me,
Wait a minute, Is my birthday present in here?
The Cabbage Patch doll, yeah,
The TurboClash Deluxe Warrior action figure,
I'll tell you what,
Guess the combination,,,
and the treasure shall be yours,
Mom? Declan!
Mom?!
Please stop! Fiona!
Leave me alone! Stay in your room!
Oh, my god, He's having a party,
Because of course he is, Mm-hmm,
Screw it,
Excuse me, do you know where I might find Declan?
He's in the back room,
Thank you,
You come to sit with Declan?
- Yes, - Brilliant,
I'm dying for the loo,
Uh, keep an eye on him, would you?
You never know who's gonna come along for a last swing,
Okay?
No,
Dad?
Dad,
Dad, no,
No,
My son always knew how to take a lady's breath away,
Deep breaths, darling,
I don't want to have to scrape you off the floor
if you pass out,
You're Declan's mother?
Well, sure as hell not his father,
Isadora Murphy,
And you are?
I'm so sorry for your loss,
There, there, child,
Let-let's get you something wet to dry those tears,
Yeah,
This must be very hard for you,
Do you have other family here to support you?
I do, My,,,
my two other children, Finn and Una,
Did Declan have family of his own?
A wife? Children?
No, he never gave me grandchildren,
And he never married,
Just as well, really,
He was charming and great fun,
but he was,,, he was far from perfect,
Do you, do you live here? In Ireland?
No, I live in Los Angeles,
Los Angeles,
Oh, my son was there for a while,
That's a long way to come for a funeral,
Well,,,
Declan was,,, diligent in maintaining my accounts,
His diligence
made you cross the Atlantic
and weep on his coffin,
I'd always wished I had gotten to know him
on a more personal level,
You wish you got to know your accountant
on a more personal level?
That sounds weird, doesn't it?
What do you think? Undercover Gardaí?
Una? Why would the Gardaí go undercover at Declan's wake?
We both know Deck had a dark side,
Yeah, But who doesn't?
I don't!
Excuse me,
I'm going to spend some time with my son
before they put him in the ground,
How are you?
Oh, uh, sorry, I think I need a refill,
Yeah,
Sorry for your loss,
Ah, thank you, Miss,,,
Smith,
You're a long way from home,
Yeah,
Alright, you maniacs, pipe down,
I know you're all enjoying the food and the drinks and,,,
the wit, but we've lost one helluva good man,
And it's, uh, it's time we,,,
honored Declan Murphy,
In that spirit,,, - Bye!
I offer this melody,
of which he was especially fond,
♪ Guess who just got back today ♪
♪ Them wild-eyed boys that had been away ♪
♪ Haven't changed Had much to say ♪
♪ But man I still think them cats are crazy ♪
♪ They were asking if you were out ♪
♪ How you was Where you could be found ♪
♪ Told them you were living downtown ♪
♪ Drivin' all the old men crazy ♪
♪ The boys are back in town
Miss Smith?
♪ The boys are back in town
- Toast Declan with us? - Yeah,
♪ I said the boys are back in town ♪
♪ The boys are back in town
♪ Spread the word around
♪ Guess who's back in town
Thank you so much, I needed that,
Leaving already?
Oh, um, well, I don't really know anyone here, so,,,
Well, you could stick around and get to know us,
I would, but I'm jetlagged
and I've gotta get back to the hotel,
I have a flight tomorrow,
You're not sticking around for Declan's funeral?
I think I've paid my respects tonight,
Still, surely,
you want to visit Ireland's highest waterfall?
It's got all this,,, water,
And it's sort of,,, you know,,,
Falling?
Yeah, yeah,
Falling, - Yeah,
Why am I babbling like a moron?
Not a moron,
Just maybe the world's worst tour guide?
Oh, That's my ride,
Nice to meet you,
I'm sorry about your father, Fiona,
but at least you got some closure, right?
I met my relatives,
Oh, were they surprised to see you?
Well, I didn't tell them who I am,
Why not?
Because they're strangers
and I'm never gonna see them again,
Plus, Declan didn't care enough
to tell them I exist, so why should I?
Well, I mean, that whispering lady on the phone
kinda knew about you,
Yeah, what was that all about?
Why tell some rando about me, but not the rest of my family?
Was he ashamed of me?
Well, no, there's no possible world in which a father would be
ashamed of a daughter like you,
I mean, obviously Declan had issues and his motives
are a complete mystery,
Yeah, I guess you're right,
Speaking of mysteries,
I spent all night doing, like,
reverse image searches on that locker photo,
Tess, you've gotta get out more,
I know,
Um, I was just trying to, like, think like you, you know?
Analyze it for clues, - Find anything?
I see a decal, a cartoon maybe, and some,,,
letters? It's kind of fuzzy,
Can you sharpen the focus?
Oh, my god, It's an address!
Or at least, a location, - Okay,
Text me the address, book me a rental car,
and charge my return flight to the day after tomorrow,
Wait, I thought we weren't playing your dad's little game,
It could be dangerous,
I laugh at danger,
I'm sure I'll be fine,
Right, I guess I forgot who I was talking to,
- Bye, - 'Kay, bye,
One, two!
Have you seen the new Summer Hill gym?
They've got treadmills,
battle ropes, rowing machines,
It's all brand new and state of the art, man,
Looking for a sparring partner?
I was, Change of plans,
Didn't expect to see you here,
Yeah, me either,
Why do you have Declan's briefcase?
He wanted me to have it,
Why would he want a stranger to have it?
I'm not a stranger,
He sent me this,
And, uh,,, this key,
You're Fiona,
He told you about me,
He said the less people who knew about you,
the safer you'd be,
From what?
Not really sure,
But I know you're a secret he kept close to his heart,
Still, he told you about me,
Why?
He trusted me,
Knew I wouldn't run my mouth,
I mean, we,,,
We had our disagreements, but still,
We were tight,
He was kind of like a father to me,
Wish he'd been more of a father to me,
I'm sorry,
How did you guys meet?
I, uh, I box,
Semi pro,
Declan used to bet on me,
- So you must be good then? - Nah, I'm shite,
Then why did he bet on you?
'Cause he was an even worse gambler,
He'd swear by the same lucky numbers every time,
Swear even louder every time he lost,
But honestly, I,,,
I think he believed in me,
You know?
Yeah,
I miss him,
Glad someone does,
I hear you,
Fatherless and confused is a shite way to grow up,
How did he die?
He went over the cliffs at Ballybunion,
He fell?
Fell, Jumped,,, some say,
Was he depressed?
Your dad was like a roller coaster,
Up and down,
But suicide?
I don't buy it,
- Did he leave a note? - None,
And Declan loved having the last word,
so I highly doubt he planned on dying that day,
I think it was an accident,
You know, he-he,,,
he liked his whiskeys
and, you know, those cliffs are treacherous,
Why was he out there?
Was he alone?
I don't know, Fiona,
He said he liked going out there to,,,
to clear his head and-and look across the sea,
I think something was weighing on him lately,
You know?
I suspect you weren't the only secret he kept,
♪ We don't belong to the same boat ♪
♪ It's the storm we share
♪ We all belong to the one road ♪
♪ It's up to you get there
♪ We don't belong to the same boat ♪
Excuse me?
Excuse me, sir?
♪ We all belong to the--
Haigh, a stor!
Sorry, Do you speak English?
Yeah, I do indeed,
And who might you be?
Sorry, Fiona,
Wylie, Can I help ya?
Yeah,
I didn't know the fella, but I'd see him here on occasion,
He'd be just,,, standing,
Looking over the sea,
Was he always alone?
He was when I saw him,
But I'm not here 24-7, so who the hell knows?
Surely not me,
You reckon he was here meeting friends?
I have no idea, I barely knew the man,
You barely knew your own da?
That's a bleeding shame,
Yeah,
- I'm sorry for your loss, - Thank you,
Oh, my God,
Shut up! Shut up!
Are you sure you don't need to go to the hospital?
I just wanna go home,
I'm so done with Ireland,
- Where are you from? - Los Angeles,
That makes sense,
And you're a lawyer? - Yup,
So we're like,,, law and order,
We should pair up,
He was about 5'9",
He was wearing all black,
He had a scar on the back of his,,,
right hand,
And he had a toothbrush sticking out of his eye,
Why did he have a toothbrush sticking out of his eye?
Because I stuck it there,
Hmm, Okay,
Hotel burglaries are fairly common,
but they usually occur when you're
out,,, of the room,
It's not a burglary if they don't take anything,
He left my wallet, my phone, my jewelry,
What? So, you think he just
came in to mess shit up?
It's weird, right?
Unless he didn't find what he was looking for,,,
Hi, Mom,
Where have you been?
Don't freak out,
but I'm in Ireland,
I had to come here to find out what he wanted,
And?
Well, the joke's on me,
He's dead,
He's what-- He's what, he's,,,
He's dead,
No,
Mom!
Don't cry over my deadbeat dad!
Don't tell me how to feel, Fiona,
I couldn't be with your father, but make no mistake, I,,,
I loved him,
I guess part of me always just hoped that, you know,,,
What?
How did he die?
They say he fell off a cliff,
I think he was murdered,
He,,, what?
I was attacked in my hotel room,
Fiona! Are you hurt?
Listen to me, you come home now,
Mom, I'm fine,
You know what was in that stupid locker?
His old briefcase,
His briefcase?
Get rid of that,
Okay? Throw that in the river,
Why?
Because it's,,,
Because there's more to this than you know,
He beat the shit out of you,
Why are you protecting him?
Beat me? What are you,,,
Declan never laid a hand on me,
I saw the bruises, Mom,
Oh, my god, Fiona,
That's what you thought all these years?
No, it-it wasn't like that at all,
Please, just,,,
Come home and I will explain it to you,
You tell me now!
Time's up,
Oh, Fiona, damn it,
Good afternoon,
we are now pre-boarding for flight,,,
See ya, bye,
Hi,
Okay,
The night your father left,
these men came to the house and,,,
they trashed the place and, um,,,
they roughed me up, but--
What did they want?
Declan was in to some dodgy shit,
You know, like gambling and money laundering
and loan sharks, He was,,,
He was up to his neck in debt
to some very dangerous men and, um,
they came to collect on that debt,
Why didn't you tell me?
Because we made a vow to each other,,,
that, um,
I would never,,,
tell you about his demons and,,,
he would clean up his act and come back to us,
So,,,
I wasted years waiting, but,,,
that day never arrived,
We were just trying to protect you,
I have to go,
I'll call you later,
Okay,
Guess the combination
and the treasure shall be yours,
Blackbeard holds the key to the treasure,
His lucky numbers,,,
Five, seven,,,
Okay,
He remembered,
TurboClash,,,
Hello, Fiona,
Hi, Dad,,,
Glad you cracked the code,
or broke the lock, or however
you got into my briefcase,
Listen, I want you to know that I've watched you grow up,
my beautiful girl,
You're a bigshot lawyer now, I am,,, so proud of you,
You could've told me that in person!
But as you have likely surmised,
your dad's a notorious screw up,
I have got in over my head,
But I'm so close to turning this around,
Listen,
everything in this briefcase is evidence,
- What? - Alright?
Evidence against the criminals
who tore me from my family,
But they're starting to suspect me,
They?
If they get to me,
who knows what they'll do to the people I love?
If anything happens to me,
it was not an accident,
The truth is, Fiona, I'm-- There he is,
Declan, come on, What's the hold-up?
Occupied!
Shit!
Yes!
Yes,
No!
Flight 1963 to Los Angeles
now boarding at Gate D,
Okay,
I suspect you aren't the only secret he kept,
If anything happens to me,,, it was not an accident,
The truth is, Fiona--
What is the truth?
That is the question that has bedeviled
far better minds than mine, I'm afraid,
Last call for Flight 1963,,,
Boarding pass, please,
Flight 1963 to Los Angeles
now departing,
Please fasten your seatbelts,
Take me to Wicklow,
♪ One way, or another
♪ I'm gonna see ya
♪ I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya ♪
♪ One day, maybe next week
♪ I'm gonna meet ya I'm gonna meet ya ♪
♪ I'll meet ya
♪ I will drive past your house
♪ And if the lights are all down ♪
♪ I'll see who's around
♪ One way, or another
♪ I'm gonna find ya
♪ I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya ♪
♪ One way, or another
♪ I'm gonna win ya
♪ I'll get ya, I'll get ya
♪ One way, or another ♪
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