Realistic, Is that what you say?
Bunny, voice-over: So today I fucked up,
I upended the lives of the people I love most,
My family,
See, I'm a hustler,
a gigolo, you know, like Richard Gere,
Not that fancy,
It was a means to a beautiful life,
Not today,
Today sucks,
Also, it's my birthday,
Garland Jeffreys: ♪ Wild in the streets
♪ In the heat of the summer
♪ Better call up the plumber
♪ And turn on the steam pump to cool me off ♪
♪ With your newspaper writers ♪
♪ And your big crimefighters
♪ You still need a drugstore to cure my cough ♪
♪ Running wild in the streets ♪
♪ Wild in the streets
Officer Nadov: It just isn't in our jurisdiction,
Officer Cellestino: That's a matter for the Housing Court,
You're asking for money from a tenant?
This is a matter for the Housing Court,
Yeah, Not now, Linda,
* We've got a gang called Shady ♪
♪ And a midnight lady
♪ And two transvestites to beat the band ♪
♪ No, you better not touch us ♪
♪ You best believe us
Yes, we know it's gonna be so good,
* Running wild in the streets ♪
♪ Wild in the streets
♪ Running wild in the streets ♪
I got it, queen, I got it,
I can handle it,
It's gonna be, too, You know me,
Really not a big deal, Please,
Hey, Bobbie,
Happy birthday, Bunny!
Surprise! This,,,
is Daphne,
We're going old-school,
and,,, do you know what this is?
This is molly,
the best molly that could be found
in the Tri-State Area
according to a 22-year-old PA,
- Tonight? - Yes,
We have an amazing evening set up,
Yeah, we got that B&B guest,
You said you were free, It's your birthday,
We booked a hotel room,
We've taken care of everything,
Bobbie, I don't feel well,
- I don't know, - It's your birthday,
You were fine this morning,
Why would I lie about something like that?
What?
It'll make you feel better, Um,,,
All right, What's going on with you?
Nothing,
All right, OK, Here, Daph,
Why don't you take a hit of--
out of the kitchen window? OK,
I love you, I'll be right in,
I'm just gonna talk to Bunny for a second,
It's all good, It's nice to meet you, Bunny,
Yeah,
Bunny, come on, We're gonna talk about this,
I understand, OK?
English is also my second language, OK,
but do you have anyone who can help you translate
to fill out the forms for the housing--
Cellestino, loudly: The form is a long--
it's a long form,
A long form,
Do you understand?
Yes, Male officer: Right,
- It's a little hectic, - OK,
We're gonna do a quick change of plans here,
Yeah? What's that?
I think I'm gonna meet you at the dinner,
I'm gonna send you off with everything,
It's all good, All right,
Thank you, OK,
Just come down soon,
What the fuck was that?
I just want to be alone,
Why are you acting so weird?
Linda, if one of your tenants isn't paying rent,
you have to go to Housing Court,
It's just not our jurisdiction,
Oh, you can't help me, I can call, Bye, bye, bye, bye,
- No use, - Li--
What the fuck, Bunny?
Hey, what smells so bad?
- Smell mofongo, - Mofongo?
Oh, I must be a monster
if you're gonna have to take molly
and fuck two beautiful women, They
're still arguing in there,
Oh, jinx,
Who is that?
Cops, Fuck!
Oh, it's my fault,
Everything all right?
No, I mean, yeah, of course,
What's all that noise, man?
What's going on?
Everything's fine, That's not what this is,
Well, we heard you from two floors down,
I want to come and take a look around,
-Yeah, - You both are welcome to come in,
but you can't come in with those boots,
You got to take them off first,
If you don't want to take them off,
you can put the booties on,
- Good idea, - I'm not gonna do booties,
Ah, ah, ah, I'm not taking off my shoes, OK? I'm not,
Cellestino, just take the shoes off,
They're fucking fine, I'm--I'm--
Yeah, Everything's fine, I'm actually just heading out,
OK, Well, listen,
Feel free to reach out if you ever need any assistance,
I will, Thank you, Assistance?
Yeah, -I'm not gonna be home tonight because so
mebody's gonna have fun on your birthday,
I'll walk you two down,
Oh, it's your birthday,
Happy birthday, man,
After you, All right,
What?
Hi, Uh, this is the Airbnb,
Can you come get my bag?
Oh, Oh, yeah, Coming,
It's me, It's you,
It's piping hot Pfeiffer month at Metrograph,
It's fucking "Witches of Eastwick,"
Do you know about that?
I'm gonna call you back, I'm gonna call you back,
Ah! Beep!
Got you a birthday gift, dude,
- Has a card, - Run it upstairs,
I got to grab the B&B lady, the bags and whatnot,
You know, I saw Bobbie earlier
leave with the cops,
What's going on? You all right?
Not right now,
- OK, OK, - Your hair looks good,
You see this guy waiting for you, right?
All right, I'll see you up there,
I'm gonna call this broad back,
You smell that?
I know, It's fucking awful,
I've been sitting here taking calls on the fucking stairs,,,
- Ugh, - wafting,
I'll talk to you later, All right,
Yeah, You should think about doing laundry
more often, huh?
Well, no, no, no, I separated out my plaids,
OK, These are my plaids,
Looking forward to the delicates,
OK, All right,
Bless you, Bunny, Yeah,
No, I can't, I got to Save money,
Really want to take Michelle to Taluum,
Oh, my God, I didn't know you were fucking gay,
What? Gay for your mom,
Got it?
I don't-- there's nothing we can do,
Watch this step, Ian,
Male half, I got you, OK,
Hey, man, Oh, hey,
You, uh--you still mad, or can I ask you a question?
Listen, I don't know anything about Linda's little creep,
No, no, no, It has nothing to do with that, OK?
- Yeah, - Where can I get some shawarma?
Shawarma, right? Yeah, Shawarma around here,
Bereket's down on Houston,
No, no, no, I'm not gonna go back down that far,
Go to my Mamoun's between 2nd and 3rd,
It's the best, Perfect,
St, Mark's afterwards,
Wait, what about the báhn mì?
- This-- - All that way, huh?
Yeah, Hi, Chana, Bunny,
Um, actually, you can call me Chana Eliza
or Happy Chana but never Chana,
Copy, This is, uh, Ian,
my wonderful neighbor with a bum arm,
I'm just helping him with his laundry,
I used to be very strong, believe it or not,
I had a motorcycle accident, Ruined my modeling career, also,
- Oh, - I was a model,
We don't have time for the photos,
Bye, Ian, See you later,
All right, Let's get you in,
I apologize in advance for the smell,
but don't worry, it's not in our spot,
So how was your travels?
Well, I was watching "Toy Story" for the first time,
and the entertainment system went out
3 quarters of the way through it,
It was upsetting,
I can get you all the "Toy Stories,"
There's more than one?
- Oh, - Oh, Bunny!
We were just looking for you,
Oh, really? Yeah,
Just missed me, huh? Here I am, huh?
Yaz was looking for you,
So this is Chana, I'm sorry,
Happy Chana,
My name is Chana Eliza,
You can call me Happy Chana or Chana Eliza
but never-- Where's Dino?
He should be upstairs, OK,
We're throwing a crazy party tonight,
You guys have to come, OK?
We got a cosmic disco ball and strobe lights!
You can help us hang up the strobe lights
and hella shit that we got,
We have so much stuff, You have to come,
Please, 5 minutes, Gotcha,
Oh! Let's go, They got both kinds,
I'll slide in, then you come,
All right,
You got both kinds, Ooh,
I put your birthday gift on your bed for you,
Thank you, I'm gonna open that
when I when I have the proper time
to give it its attention it deserves,
so, um, take our shoes off,
Oh, I'm sorry, Uh, shoes off here,
This is Linda, Happy, dear friend and neighbor,
She loves to just drop in,
- This is Dino, He's family, - Hi,
If you need anything, I'm not here, just ask him,
- He's got you, - I'm your guy,
You want a peanut butter cup? Both kinds,
So I'm gonna show you around, you know,
Where Bobbie?
Bobbie not home,
No Bobbie?
No Bobbie, OK?
She--she went for a walk, Maybe 10 minutes,
She might call me from Baltimore,
Bobbie not home tonight, OK,
All right, here's the digs,
Why you ask so many questions?
Towels are in there,
OK, Let you in,
Some house slippers right here by the door,
Air conditioning,
Welcome to Bunny Chana's, Happy Chana--all right, OK,
These are specially trained cats,
you understand what I'm saying?
- I scared mice, - I know, I know,
I scared cats, too,
No, don't be scared of cats,
Cats don't do anything all day, They just sit there,
OK, Let me ask you this question,
Listen, I've already called 3 rabbis,
I can't stay here alone with you,
- What? - I assumed
your wife would be here,
Either you have to leave, I have to leave,
or you need to bring two women,
- Two women equals a wife, - Does it?
During the daytime, I can be here,
but we need to open the front door,
Now I noticed the mezuzah on the door,
- You are Jewish? - Uh, yeah,
My mother was, uh, Bobbie's father,
I love Albert Brooks,
Can we just try to stay calm?
I'm gonna run downstairs, We'll figure it out,
Maybe we try a few different rabbis,
I really have to go,
but this is a pressing situation,
- Does that door lock? - Yeah,
- Is there a key to my room? - No,
If you really want to get rid of mice,
you need a cat, you need a cat,
Orthodox Jew, Says she can't be here alone with me,
Either I have to leave, or she has to leave,
or I need two women,
- Two women equals a wife, - Jewish math,
Yeah, Bobbie will love that, Please,
Oh, hey, Oh, my God,
Listen, Obviously, I'm not leaving my own home,
but I'm sure we can figure this out,
- I will try more rabbis, - Uh-huh,
For now, I have to get ready for a date,
A date? You just got here,
We've been in correspondence, We may marry,
Well, that's sweet,
I'm still here, I scared,
Ah, I'm scared, too, Linda,
Oh, of mice? Oh, my God!
Linda's scared, You're scared,
What is going on, man?
Nothing, Nothing,
I'm--I don't know, man, I'm good,
Are you sure you're OK?
What? Are you OK?
Yeah, Yeah, I'm good, I'm good, Yeah,
- Sorry, man, - No, it's all right,
Don't be sorry,
Listen, I'm gonna hook a movie up for me and Linda,
- OK, - All right?
- Yeah, - Then I'm gonna call Ciel
over here because she has a fat ass
and she smells really fucking good,
Ciel plus Linda equals a wife,
It's perfect,
We're getting everything done,
Another thing I want to go over real quick is that
Linda thinks that her deadbeat tenant hasn't been
home in two weeks, and she thinks
something fishy's going on,
I don't know, Don't make a thing out of it,
I wasn't trying to start her shit,
So sick of this guy,
She won't stop talking about him,
Linda, change the locks, Throw his shit out,
Bad man, OK?
- I can't, - Why?
This illegal, Wait in court,
Two weeks gone? He could be dead in there,
Bad tenants should be dead, Yeah,
Fuck, Linda, Jesus Christ, Fucking cold, Linda,
Yeah, You make sure, OK?
I make sure, I make sure,
Cielly, it's Dino, Come to Bunny's,
It's biblical, Push the front door open,
It's broken,
Where do you want me to put these at?
You can put them wherever you want,
As long as they're on a wall, I really don't care,
Do you see how there's a pattern here going on
with the tulle?
Well, I want some ribbon-- Bunny, hello,
Oh, yeah, Look at me,
The blue lights behind that, it'd look beautiful,
I think he needs me to help him with the tulle,
You want it to look like an ocean, like waves?
Mmm! Cielly's here just in time for the gang bang,
- Hey! - Door's broken, Bobbie home?
Uh, who are you?
I'm Loren, her dad,
You must be Bunny,
No, no, I'm Dino, I'm their pal,
They're not home right now,
I know, dude, Those stairs suck, Are you OK?
Heh heh, You got a bathroom?
Mmm, Mm-hmm, It's right there,
Oh, shit, The shoe! Oh, boy,
Oh, my God! Wow,
Are you OK in there?
I'll be out in a minute,
OK, Oh, goddamn
OK,
- Hi! - Girl,
- What's up? - Thank you for coming,
- Of course, - Oh, my God, It's crazy,
- Hello, - Hi,
Oh, my God, We have a situation,
- What? - It's nuts,
I don't even know what to say,
Oh, shit,
It's OK,
OK,
Man, why don't you come into the kitchen
and hang out a little bit?
I got some stuff to make you feel better,
Ohh, Well,
Drink some of that right there,
I'm gonna give you something,
Eat one of these,
Oh, shit, Really? That's fucked up,
OK, OK,
These are mild,
Don't even worry about this,
I give this shit to my pops for nausea and anxiety,
Hit that real quick,
What's your pa got anxiety about?
Cancer,
- You know, - Oh, I'm sorry,
Oh, man, You know, everybody's got something,
Wipe your face, man, You got some stuff there,
You should come join us in the living room,
We got some friends over here,
We have some people hanging out,
Come in and hang out, It's nice,
We'll get to talking, and we got some friends over,
It's all good, brother,
- Sorry, sorry, sorry, - No, Happy,
Good news, We have Ciel and Linda here,
so two women equals a wife,
and now you can relax and you can go out
and have a lovely date, and we're all rooting for you,
and fingers crossed,
Thank you, Dino,
I'm really looking forward to it,
My name is Chana Eliza,
You can call me Happy Chana or Chana Eliza
but never just-- Shh, Watch a movie,
Oh, Oh, no, Linda, You got to be nice,
She didn't mean it, Happy,
Good luck, girl, Linda,
Movie, Ohh,
Thank you,
Hey, Loren, How are you feeling?
Who are all these people?
I came here to see my daughter, Where's my daughter?
I want to see Bobbie,
I actually wanted to ask you about that,
Like, are you--ahem-- are you, like--are you dying?
Am I dying? Am I dying?
Vomit, Oh,
Oh! Yeah, that is vomit, That's vomit,
- She's right, - Oh, my God,
Clean yourself up,
Oh, don't smell it,
I'm not dying,
- OK, - I'm not,
I feel like I'm dying,
My wife left me, She left me,
She said I was unlovable, Unlovable?
She said I wasn't in my body, Not in my body?
What is this? Am I not in my fucking body?
Huh? She left me,
That's intense,
Now I'm nothing to brag,
I mean, I've always done the leaving,
but this time, I was left and it just hit me,
I had a feeling, I had a feeling like,,,
this is what I did to Bobbie,
I left Bobbie, This is how she must be feeling,
I abandoned my daughter,
I abandoned my Bobbie,
I abandoned my son!
- What? - Remember that movie?
"Th-There Will Be Blood," You know that movie?
Daniel Day-Lewis, Remember that big speech he makes?
I abandoned my son, It's--
I'm just saying those things are real,
and people write stuff like that because they happen,
They need it to look like-- tulle is this,
This is tulle, You know who's a tool?
You fucking boy Dino, bro, Hey,
Take it down a notch,
Look, no, I don't mean to disrespect the guy,
He just be talking too much, No, we're cool,
He's family, and we're cool, so let's just take it down,
We're gonna do this, So, Bun, with the tulle,
I need you to help me with that,
I can't reach, This tulle needs to go up there,
Yeah, I know, Look at this,
There's, like, nothing's organized,
It's a fucking indicative of a lifestyle,
I can't stand this,
Brad gave me all these fucking gadgets last Christmas,
I've been trying to go through them whole year,
This is a perfect time for it, Yeah, OK,
Um, Where are we putting these chairs, huh?
- Guys, look, - There's too many places,
Bunny's ready for tonight,
Getting freaky!
- Bunny's getting freaky! - Hey, hey!
Bunny, you need to get nasty tonight, Fuck,
Ha ha! Um,,, you have all this shit,
You don't even have an extension cord,
I'm gonna run upstairs and grab my extension cord, OK?
I know that you have them,
so why would I get one?
Then help me with the tulle,
Dino, voice-over: Bunny, I got you this gift
so we can wear these together same day, same time,
Happy birthday! Love, Dino,
Dino, I love you, man! I'll be back,
The jersey, It's--
Is that my daughter's husband?
Let's have some popcorn,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Hi,
You need to get that other clamp on,
Oh, my God! I didn't do nothing, yo,
It just fell off like that, He didn't do it!
What did I just say?
Whatever, You know what? Right there, Be careful,
I'm being careful, I'm being careful,
So many pieces were falling off,
Yeah, yes! Wait, What the fuck?
We need her view honestly,
All right, OK, ladies, I think we're done here,
Yeah? We're good, I'll see you tonight,
Hey, Mr, Phil,
Buddy, huh? Yeah,
Let's go, Come on,
All right, here we go,
Yeah, You should really look into a ground floor apartment,
I'm moving to Beverly Hills for $6,000,
Yeah, I have no idea what that means,
All right, I got you, little buddy,
I got you, I got you,
All right, come on,
OK, Here we go,
Uh-Uh, uh-uh,
There you go, Ian,
- Thank you, - Yeah,
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
Oh!
What's wrong?
He stood me up,
I'm--I'm sorry, you know?
Men are trash,
I did figure out how to stay here, though,
The fifth rabbi said that I can lock my bedroom door,
and then we leave the front door open all night,
What? You need to--
Don't worry about it now,
He said he'll be by later to explain everything,
I'm just--I don't know when
because I haven't heard back from him,
but he'll be by,
Listen, Thank God, You know, things are looking up,
Come on, You get to stay here, right?
- Huh? - Yeah,
You get to go up there, relax, have some food,
You're in New York,
Oh, Fair warning, though, I'll be here for Shabbat,
so we have to unroll the toilet paper
and turn off the light in the fridge
and a few other things,
Yeah, whatever you need, Happy,
Whatever you need,
I got you, Happy,
Yo, what's up with your Mitsubishi fucking microwave?
Man, that shit's smoking everything,
What are you doing?
Making popcorn, What's going on?
Get inside now! Hide!
No! What are you doing?
There's a fucking guy coming for me,
Your jersey looks great, Thank you,
There is someone coming for me now,
- Get the fuck-- - Yours fits better than mine,
Someone coming for you? Here he is,
Oh, my God! Shh!
OK, What?
Why are you standing like that?
Oh, my God, Who is that? What is that?
I'm fucking having a bad day,
I'm scared,
Yeah, Me, too, Thank you,
♪ Flames overhead
♪ Rain until you cry
♪ My baby's on the highway
♪ Come in from the cold
♪ Never going home
Mazel,
Dead Moon: ♪ Never going home
♪ D for disaster, E for my eyes ♪
♪ A for my anger, D before I die ♪
♪ M for Mona, O oh good
♪ O oh good, N for the night ♪
♪ Dead Moon Night, Dead Moon Night ♪
In my fucking house, huh?
Jesus Christ,
Dead Moon: ♪ Call me if you need me
♪ Down in New Orleans
♪ Can't release the victims
♪ Have you seen what I seen?
♪ In New York City
Oh, I know, that's right, girl,
Say your little prayers,
I'm gonna try to be more spiritual myself,
You eat your food, you get some rest,
Tomorrow will be better,
I came all the way from Tarzana, California,
just to meet him,
Men are trash,
Dead Moon: * N is for night, Dead Moon Night ♪
Yo, What the fuck, bro? Man's got fucked,
- These idiots? - Fuck!
Hold up,
Yo, this dude's fucked up, man,
Oh, my God, you two,
Do you know this fucking guy?
We went out for iced tea, and this fucking guy
was laying at the bottom of the stairs,
Do you know him? Do you know this guy?
I don't fucking know this guy, bro,
I saw him drinking that Crystal Palace shit
that you guys like, I know it,
I don't know this fucking guy!
- This is your friend? - Fuck you! It's not my friend!
Fuck you! Fuck him! Damn, man,
Get the fuck out of my face, bro,
You OK with that bike, buddy?
I don't need help with the bike!
I got the bike! You sure?
Why don't you mind your business, bro?
All right, buddy,
Crystal Palace? Dude, I panicked,
It was fucking good,
We got to get this guy out of here, like, now,
Anyone can come through that fucking unlocked door,
I'm gonna fucking grab him,
Oh, my God, Oh, my God,
He's fucking heavy,
Oh, fuck!
Dead Moon: * Hazard on the highway ♪
♪ Breaking down slow
♪ They thought she was looking ♪
♪ Now I'm all alone
♪ I'm often aband--
Mikey Day, on TV: That is a rubber boot,
Woman, on TV: It's a strong boot,
Just this last fucking step,
There you go,
Drag it over a little,
Bun, tell me what the fuck is going on, man,
Who is this fucking guy? Why is he here?
Calvin, Heh heh,
Is that who this is? This is Calvin?
- Mm-hmm, - Who the fuck is this guy, man?
Why is he coming after you? What is going on here?
Please just talk to me,
I fucked up, Dino, I fucked up pretty bad,
- I fucked up, - OK,
Just tell me what happened,
Just tell me everything that happened,
I--I had a job today,
I went to my job, Two guys hired me,
They wanted an older fucking stud,
so I show up, and, uh, my instincts told me
it was off completely right when I walked in,
and then I just stayed, and they're all fucked up,
and they're throwing money around,
and the kid wants head immediately,
Oh, come on, This is gross,
So I'm just blowing the kid, and his friend walks up
behind me real quiet, and then all of a sudden,
he's just--he's bear hugging me, and they're laughing,
and he grabs the back of my head
and just slams his cock down my throat,
and he won't stop, and I--and I realize
I can't breathe at all, and he just keeps doing it,
and they're laughing, and he's slapping me
in the side of the head so fucking hard,
and this guy is just sitting there nonchalant,
so I fucking just bounced my head back into that guy
behind me, smashed him, jumped on this dude,
and I started choking the guy I was blowing,
and I fucking bit something on him,
and I'm biting him and biting him
until this giant dude just grabs me and throws me
across the room,
Came home,
You were raped,
What? Who are you?
I'm Bobbie's dad, Loren,
Oh, I know your name,
This is Loren, He's Bobbie's dad,
He showed up earlier, I tried to tell you,
Let's get him out of the hall,
We gonna take him into Linda's apartment?
Wait, wait, I got a B&B guest,
Bobbie could come up,
She's in there watching fucking TV,
Jesus Christ, I'll help, Come on, come on,
OK, Dude, I don't want
- to do this, man, - Me either,
I don't want to fucking do this,
I know, but this is is what I got to do, man,
I'm carrying fucking legs now, man,
I don't want to do this,
So fucking sorry, bro,
Linda! Sorry, Linda, We need your help,
Oh my, God, Agh!
Rapist or not,
I can't believe you fucking killed a guy,
Oh, shit! She's yelling at us,
Don't worry, Too big,
Oh, my God, He's a bad man,
Oh! Are you all right?
I'm so sorry, He hurt you?
Didn't have anywhere else to go,
Fuck this dude,
He's dying, man?
Yeah, Fuck him, man,
You said Calvin earlier,
Yeah? So?
So I was thinking, you know,
The biggest mystery to me in the city,
you know what it is?
That Calvin Klein billboard on Lafayette
and Mulberry and Houston,
What the fuck am I gonna do with him?
What am I gonna do here?
You ever seen them change that billboard?
What the fuck am I gonna do?
It's a huge mystery, You know, I've been leaving
a bar one time at, like, 4 a,m,
I've been back on that same block at 7 a,m,,
and I see the billboard's different,
- How do they change it? - Fuck!
When do they do it? It's got to be a whole ordeal,
So you left the bar at 4 a,m, and went back at 7:00,
I don't even understand what you're talking about,
It doesn't make sense, but, no, I've never seen it, OK?
I'm gonna tell you the biggest mystery in the city is
what the fuck are we doing with this body?
- Exactly, - What are we doing?
What are we doing? What are we doing?
Shh, Whoa, whoa, whoa,
Yo, That could--that's-- you hear that?
That's, like, footsteps,
Is there a-- Oh, shit, Oh, shit,
is there another one of these fucking guys, dude?
Shh, It's Bobbie, What?
Yeah, I know, No,
- It's Bobbie? - D, it's fucking Bobbie,
No, dude, What are you gonna say?
I don't know, I just--I need Bobbie,
Damn, this is fucked up,
Yo, Bobbie,
Bunny?
I just, No, Come--
I need--we need to talk,
Of course we need to talk,
We need to go upstairs to the roof,
- Are you kidding me? - I am not,
- Why to the roof? - You will--just get up there,
Oh, my God, I swear to fucking God, Bunny!
Bobbie, Bobbie, We have to have
this conversation on Tar Beach?
- Yes, we do, OK? - Fucking kidding me? Why?
Things have gone haywire,
You think I don't know things have gone haywire?
Ciel's texting me that something's off,
and then,,,
there is a distance between us that I've never felt,
- I have to tell you two things, - Why? Why?
I just need to tell you this,
Your estranged father's downstairs
stoned out of his mind with Dino and Linda,
I mean, Dino's regular stoned, Linda's not stoned at all,
and, uh, that doesn't matter, OK?
Second, I killed a man, a bad man,
You know, he came here, like, an hour ago,
and it just got out of control, and the body's in Linda's,
- What?! - Yeah,
- What? - Bobbie,
- Oh, my God, - Bobbie, Bobbie,
- Oh, my God, Oh, my God, - I know,
I'm gonna deal with it,
Where are you going?
Bun, I have to see what the fuck you're talking about,
OK, OK, All right?
It's a lot, OK?
Bobbie, softly: Bring your voice down,
Bunny, softly: I'm sorry,
What's up, Bobbie? This is fucked up,
Ta-da!
Oh, fuck! Oh--
Bunny, softly: I'm sorry,
Oh, fuck! Oh, my God, Dude! Fuck!
Um,,,
Hey, Bob, Long time,
Dad, is that a joke?
No, I know,
I--I got him fucked up, He's trashed,
He came to see you, He was really nervous,
He was sweating, he was throwing up,
and I gave him, like, weed,
I smoked a joint with him, I gave him edibles,
I--that's on me, I did, I did,
I didn't really know the situation,
Oh, fuck this,
He just makes me so fucking mad!
Yeah, I see,
but I--I think he's just trying to connect, OK?
- Connect? - Wrong method,
It's probably in the best interest for both of you,
- Best interest? - Yeah,
I don't give a fuck about his best interest,
I also don't give a fuck about the two of you
coming together and trying to figure out
- what's best for me, - Yeah,
- The two of you right now? - Like, yeah, OK, I'm sorry,
Could you just not get in between me and my dad?
Yeah, Of course, I hear you,
- Thank you, - I hear you, I was wrong,
It's all good, I won't do it again,
and I'm sorry,
I'm not fucking talking to him,
Yeah, OK,
What's up, Bobbie, Sorry,
W-Why are you all in Linda's apartment?
Because we have a B&B guest,
we have a dead body, and it just happened this way,
- I'm sorry, I didn't plan it, - Calm down,
- I'm sorry, Linda, - Linda, are you OK?
Yeah, He's a bad man,
I know, I'm not gonna leave him here,
I need to get him out, You are right,
We got to fucking do this fast,
I'm trying to figure it out,
He was raped,
What? This guy raped you?
Did this guy rape you? Bun, Bun,
Listen, I was just-- What the fuck?
Hey, hey, hey, Bun,
- What? - Did this guy rape you?
Oh, no, this guy didn't rape me,
This guy is the driver, I guess,
the security for these rich psychopaths,
and it got out of hand, and they attacked me,
and I responded, and I bit something
off of one of them, and I came home,
I ran home,
Did people see you running down the street looking crazy?
Ew,
Hey, Bunny!
Well, I mean, anyone that was out, I don't know,
I'm running middle of the fucking day,
Oh, my God, Oh, my God, Calm down,
We need to deal with this,
Dude,,, before we deal with that, this is--this is,,,
What? really heavy,
- What? - I am so sorry
this happened to you,
Oh, I'm good,
I'm sorry this happened to you,
- I'm good, - You're not good,
This is not OK,
but we are gonna figure this out, OK,
I need to deal with this,
Dude, people saw you running down--
people saw you running down the street,
You have long fucking hair, and you're distinct,
People know you, We need to--
we need to cut your fucking hair,
My hair? Yeah, That's good idea,
His hair? Cut his hair off,
I can do that, No, you can't do it,
No, You're not cutting my hair,
Just don't--just sit down and just don't,
Just don't, I'm gonna go upstairs,
I'm gonna get scissors, and I'm gonna get the razor,
I'm gonna calm down, Ciel's upstairs,
Yeah, Think of us, I'm sorry, Linda--
There's a Jewish girl, OK,
The Airbnb, Her name is Chana,
Chana's up--Happy Chana,
That's it, Hi,
Hello, there, China?
I didn't think you were coming home,
You can call me Chana Eliza or Happy Chana but never,,,
- Got it, Thank you, Happy, - just Chana,
Oh, my God, The girl got
stood up tonight,
Oh, God, Men are trash,
I'm a production designer,
I never bring my work home with me,
but I wanted to play a prank on Bunny,
You have no fucking ideas!
What the fuck are we doing here?
Got it, Any idea,
Got it, No, Bun,
We haven't come up with one fucking idea,
No, no, no, It's OK, We're just gonna,,,
No, Bobbie! Nothing is OK,
Bobbie don't-- What, Dino, what, Dino?
This is the one where I draw the line here,
What? Listen,
You said Jimmy Russo, You said Sonny Black,
You said Donnie Brasco,
I'm not chopping this fucking guy up,
Listen, I'm just pitching ideas here,
I'm fucking kicking the tires,
She has buckets in there, There's a bathtub,
I figure maybe we bleed him out, Nobody's chopping up--
what are you talking about?
Hey, We put him in ac-- listen, You stop,
We put him in acid, we bleed him, maybe it works,
Dude, this is not the time for a butcher,
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
Shh, Don't answer it, Don't answer it, Don't,
Hello?
Yes, sir,
Oh, shit, What the f--
Busy, Busy, Bye-bye,
She ain't about to talk,
Anyways, I apologize, OK, I apologize,
I just want to say-- I just want to say
I'm legit fucking scared now,
I am terrified, and I--that's--
I have no idea what to fucking do,,,
Oh, my God,
And obviously I was wrong,
Look at us, We don't chop bodies up,
You two are-- Can we just cover him up?
I'm tired of looking at his fucking face!
Yes, Stop being drama queens,
Hey, Calm down, calm down,
OK, OK?
We calm down, She's right,
Yeah,
Do you have something in your apartment
that we could wrap the body up in?
Like a tarp,
A tarp? Sleeping bag?
Sheet, a comforter,
something big that you could wrap around the body,
OK, OK, OK, I think I do, I think I do,
And maybe fast, though, Dino,
OK, OK, OK, I'll be right back,
I'll be right back,
This is insane, I'm gonna start thinking,
I got one of your old-ass sheets, man,
That's a good sheet, Oh, Bunny, Dino,
Are you guys coming to the party tonight?
What the fuck is up, ladies? You don't--
OK, Hold up,
Everybody in this building knows about this party except for me,
- The fucking building knows, - We ran into Bunny,
You invited fucking Ian on the third floor?
Bro, we tell Bunny, he tells you,
That's fucking math,
What can we bring?
A willingness to dance fucking, please,
What is that? Hey! That's mine,
He borrowed it, I got to-- Wait,
Who's all coming to this party?
- Are you coming, yes or no? - Who cares?
Who the fuck are you looking at? Our friends,
What are you talking about?
How many people? Are you gonna be there?
Bunny!
It's my apartment, She lives here, dumbass,
Linda! My girl, Is that you?
Oh! Not me,
Clearly her, She's still mad at you, dude,
I didn't do anything, I just don't like apples,
Why are you guys matching? What?
It's a birthday gift, OK? It's his birthday today,
- I got him a present, - Happy fucking birthday,
OK, we're celebrating Bunny tonight,
Yeah!
No, but, you guys, I got him the same thing I wear,
- I know, Y'all are so cute, - It's great, We love it,
- I'll see you there? - Yes, I'm gonna be there,
OK, And Takis, I'll get you them, too,
- All right, bring me some Takis, - Go, losers,
OK? Check,
Is it good?
Hold, hold, hold, hold,
Come on, Yeah, I think we are,
Come on, All right,
Dino, why am I carrying the body?
It was your idea to put him
on the fucking roof, man,
So my good idea I get punished for?
I'm saving our boy here from lethal injection,
You said roof, I--ohh!
There's no way we're gonna--
You said the roof!
There's no way we're getting this body up to the roof,
Doesn't matter who's carrying it,
There's no way to do it, Stop, stop, stop!
Fucking man! Get the fuck away from here!
There's no way to--
Go to the left, Which left?
That left,
Fuck!
Ah, Ah,
I wanted to--I wanted to talk to you and Bobbie,
I just wanted to-- I wanted to apologize,
You're right,
I mean, who am I to show up out of the blue after 30 years?
- Who am I to do that? - Yeah,
Who am I to, you know, judge anyone?
And then to tell her about you being, you know--
I don't really,,,
I mean, read the room, Heh,
How about read the situation? I can't read the situation,
- I have to talk to her, - Yeah,
If there's anything you can do to facilitate us
just having a moment together,
I hear you, yeah?
- Then-- - Yeah,
I think this is a, like, a really good start, you know?
- OK, - Just need a moment,
Yeah, I hear you, I hear you,
- OK, - Yeah,
Thank you,
Holy shit! Bobbie and Dino: What?!
The car, it's downstairs,
The driver, Who?
The fucking driver! This bitch!
Fuck! The car! Bobbie and Dino: What?
Where the fuck are you?
Bobbie and Dino: In here!
The fucking driver! The dead guy,
He's the driver, the driver, His car's downstairs,
Look, we take-- we take that big fuck,
we take him downstairs,
It has to be easier than going upstairs,
and then we put him in his car, and we dump him in the drink,
Bobbie and Dino: In the drink?
You know, in the river, Donnie Brasco,
I'm sorry for earlier, but I'm just saying,
That was--so, Wait, I'm sorry,
What you're proposing is this,
You're proposing that we take this giant fucking guy
and put him in his giant fucking SUV,
and we wear fucking booties and fucking gloves and hairnets
like fucking Wahlberg in the end of "Departed,"
and we fucking go down to the East River,
and we put the car in accelerate,
and we hop out right before it goes in?
That's what you want to do, man?
This is fucking insane,
We can't do that,
So you think I want to drive into the fucking East River
wearing a hazmat suit?
Sounded like that a little bit,
It did, You're saying shit that has, like, impactful terms,
I don't understand,
All I'm saying is we take his big ass,
we dump him in the river,
and we park that car--SUV away from us here,
Donnie Brasco,
Oh, there's my guy, huh?
OK, I need to step outside for a second,
Let's just put this here, huh?
Yo! Let me talk to you for a second,
You, um--you know whose car this is?
- Which? - That one right there,
It's been sitting there all day,
- No idea, - No, Don't you live here?
Shouldn't you know?
You know, every car on your block?
You can fix your tone is what you can do,
Ahh, Oh, right,
This Escalade's been sitting there all morning,
You didn't see anybody come or go?
What's going on?
Is there something happening with this car?
I don't know, Is there something happening with this car?
Is there something happening with the car?
Is there an issue with it?
I mean, it's been sitting here all day,
It's illegally parked, so, yeah, there is
an issue with it,
You sure you don't know whose it is?
Nobody came or went?
I have no idea whose car that is, Weird,
- Hi, - Hi,
There's nothing going on?
It's just about it being illegally parked?
Hey, you look really, really good in a jersey, by the way,
I don't know if I ever told you that,
Do not encourage him, They look like fucking idiots,
- All right, Give me that, - Thank you,
- And I need help, too, - Sure,
- Thank you, - Big party,
Maybe that's why you're having trouble with your wife,
I mean, you do--you do remember your marriage,
Say, don't say that to him,
Oh, come on, Cellestino,
Listen, I'd like to apologize for earlier,
We're having a rough patch, I'm--I'm sorry,
Hey, Right now, please,
- It's hot, Can you-- - we got a part to decorate,
Everybody has a rough day some days,
Maybe that day's your birthday,
OK, Well, on that note, I'm gonna help my
crippled friend upstairs with his laundry
and the ladies with their party supplies,
Good luck with the truck,
They're all fucking nuts,
We got to figure out whose fucking car that is,
Hold the door for Ian,
Hey, Ian, Hey, noise!
God, Fuck, Bun,
These stairs are trying to kill me,
Oh, my God!
Bunny,
Bad news, The car idea is out,
Cops are down there trying to figure out whose it is,
- Wait, What? - Yeah,
Hey, Buns, Buns, What the fuck, girl?
The little asshole's apartment?
Bobbie, the cops--OK,
I'll go, all right? I'll do it, All right,
I'll get the fucking mice, I'll get them!
Fucking sick,
Ohh! Ooh!
Oh, God,
Ah! Fucking nice in here,
Oh, Jesus Christ,
This place is nice, but what is that fucking smell?
Ohh!
It's--this is the smell,
Ooh, Mice dead,
Oh, my God, This smell is fucked,
Also, no one's been here, Look at the plants,
I wish my place looked like this,
It was, like, so bare like this and clean,
It is fucking nice,
Dino, just throw fucking shit out,
Your place could look like this,
It can't be just the mice,
Mouse? That smell a mouse?
Can we go? Much too much,
Yo, you know, we could bring Calvin's big ass,
throw him on the couch, get him out of Linda's,
What happens if the little guy comes home and finds
a giant dude who looks like Curt fucking Schilling
on his fucking sofa?
Look at this fiddle leaf fig
nobody's watered in at least a week,
Who's coming back?
I mean, he could be getting out of jail,
I don't know, He could come back,
Yeah, I don't think he's coming back,
Jesus,
I told you,
This is a lot,
I've never seen two dead bodies in one day,
This is sad, man,
Mm,
Barely ever seen the dude,
Fuck,
Do we have to report this?
No, no, No cops,
But we can grab that big body, throw him up here,
Yeah, that's a plan,
- All right, - All right, Come on,
Let's go,
Fucking changes arms again,
Oh, my God! My God!
Bobbie, Oh,
- Bobbie, - What?
- Your friend, - What friend?
My birthday surprise from earlier,
- Oh! I'm,,, - She's here,
so sorry, I asked her to come back,
- What? - Yes,
I was supposed to meet Daphne,
but then Ciel texted me,
I had to come back,
so I told Daphne, meet me here,
And then I found out you killed somebody,
and I completely forgot,
What? Trash,
Yes, I guarantee you you're gonna get
the punishment again this year,
I'm not getting a tattoo, No way,
Yes, you're gonna fucking do,
On my ass? Come on,
OK, That girl you're talking about has no pants on
and just walked past those two dudes,
and they didn't even notice her,
OK, Go out there,
We're gonna get her inside the apartment,
- We'll just talk to her, OK? - OK,
Yeah,
I can go talk to her, I can talk to her,
Get your sweaty back on the couch, We got this,
I can talk to her,
Linda, we'll be right back,
The TV working? We'll be right back,
Watch whatever you want,
You've gone your entire life without any good dick,
Oh, no, I was married 12 years ago,,,
to a minister,
What?!
"Good touch" is what we had,
I converted and left him,
Oh, that's cold, But still, 12 years?
Confession,
I already took my medicine,
Oh, you took the molly,
Mm-hmm, And it's the best Molly I've ever fucking had,
Oh! Oh,
Wow,
And it's just kicked in,,,
It sounds magical, Daphne,
Yeah, It's so,,,
I can't imagine, I really--Whoa,
It's so,,, OK, Ha ha!
Where are we fucking putting this big fuck?
Put him inside with the little guy,
Why?
They're both dead,
Makes sense, no?
And I called you here because our neighbor Linda
is having an issue we're gonna help her with downstairs,
- Oh, - She's an older woman,
Doesn't have a lot of help, so we're kind of the people
that do it, Anyways, unfortunately, it came
during the best possible birthday surprise of all time,
We're gonna get you situated,,, Yeah,
with the ladies in the living room,
And I can't wait to get back up here,
Who?
- The ladies, - The ladies,
Hey, Cielly, this is Daphne, Chana, meet Daph,
- I'm coming,,, - Where you been?
- I missed you, - I've been up and down,,,
Tonight's the night I shibori your curtains,,,
Wait, What? No, no, no, Not tonight,
I don't want you to shibori my curtains tonight,
It's gonna be perfect,
Why don't we just get rid of the stinky little guy?
Fucking buy us some time
till the big guy starts to stink,
We just--let's take the stinky little guy
and shove him in a suitcase,
A suitcase and what, put him out on the curb?
- Bingo, - Yeah,
You think he'll fit?
- Yeah, - Yeah,
OK, hold this, Let me get this,
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
I don't know why we're being so quiet,
This zipper doesn't have a zipper,
The zipper doesn't have a thingy,
- Fuck, The little flappy? - Yeah, the flappy,
My hand went in his fucking skull,
Loren, I see you, bro, I know,
- OK, - OK,
I feel like he looked at me,
- Do you have anything in here? - Oh, yeah, Shit,
Anything with your name on it?
Oh, look, A Reese's, That's cool,
All right, We're good, We're good, We're good, We're good,
Just count,,,
You have the gift of touch,
Mm, I think of it more like the gift of feel,
Yeah, it's like sometimes, I am just
so completely crushed by time,
It's like everything is going away so fast,
- Aw, - You know?
It just comes out of nowhere, you know?
And I'm just completely devastated and overwhelmed
by everything being so fucking meaningless, you know?
A spiritual practice could help with that,
- All right, all right, - OK,
I got it, Just let the weight,,,
- It's so fucking heavy, - Fuck,
I feel like you're doing all the work,
I love period sex, Goddamn!
I knew you were gonna say it,
- I love period sex, - Me, too,
But it's a week a month to connect with your husband,
No one needs that,
It's so sweet that you think of it that way,
but I like to connect with my husband's cock
when I can't get knocked up,
That's fucking feminism,
Mm, I want to connect with your husband's cock,
- Mm, - Hmm,
Mmm!
Oh! Are you fucking kidding me?
They are camping out here,
They live here now, Hi!
Mamoun's, huh?
Amazing idea, dude, on Mamoun's,
We had to try it,
The freaking tow truck's taking forever,
so today's the day,
We don't know whose car that is, so it's crazy,
It's just, you know, the raw onions
in the middle of the day,
I was gonna get a charbroiled burger, Then,,,
Oh, oh,
Yo, this homeless kid is so hot, Like,,,
He loves heroin,
Who doesn't?
Turned out to be falafel,
This is,,,? Yo, look at this,
I would see you as a Smashburger kind of guy,
What the,,,? Why are you throwing that out?
Yo, what are you guys doing over there?
You've been here all day,
Are we bothering you or something?
- No, Just asking, - Look, whatever,
We're having a party later tonight,
- You guys can come if you want, - What?
Is there gonna be food?
Yeah, sure, You can come and keep us safe, Ha ha!
Cops?
You guys will fucking invite anyone to these things,
Did you-- did you call the locksmith?
Yeah, I did, and he's just backed up,
I can't believe they invited you guys,
It's summertime, You know, Summer?
You should go,
You didn't see the attitude on that one?
No, no, they always have that,
- I don't like people like that, - I agree,
I want one of your cigarettes, OK?
I know I'm not supposed to smoke,
Can I just get one of them?
Oh, Hey, man, you want a cigarette?
I know, but I'm partial to his,
and I have to piss, and I just-- I didn't want to be rude,
Yeah, No, no, I--Yeah,
I want to go upstairs,
You didn't even ask me what brand I smoke,
You don't smoke Capris,
I love Capris, Can you bring one down for me?
At the party, Looks like you're coming,
Ah! You got me with that one, Looks like you're coming!
Y'all have a great night, OK?
OK, I got to say, it's so fucking wack that
they invited the cops,
The last thing we need,
No, but it's like it wasn't so special anymore,
You know? The girls invited us, I thought we were cool,
I just saw my hat in the cop car,
What? How?
Fucking left it in the truck,
When I went to work, he was going to give me a ride home,
I fucking forgot, All right?
How did it get from the truck--or SUV
to the cop car?
Well, obviously these fucking assholes are towing it,
and they thought it was perfectly cool to just
steal the fucking hat,
What hat is it?
"Die Hard 3,"
Oh, that's a good fucking hat,
Yeah, it's a good fucking hat,
More importantly, my fucking name's written in it
and my DNA is everywhere,
Your name is written in it? Like "The Sandlot"?
Yeah,
Man, Fuck those cops,
Just do whatever the fuck they want, taking shit,
Exactly, And we need to get in there now,
That ties me to everything,
Oh, wait, Hang on, I have an idea,
- OK, - You're gonna like this,
You're gonna like this,
- I will do anything, - OK,
Picture this, all right?
You go up and you get that Daphne chick,
You bring her down here to distract the cops
and get the hat back,
She isn't wearing any pants, This will be easy,
Whoo!
Then, didn't that fuck-face Ian
want you to move his stove?
I really need your help on something,,,
You get the cops to help you with that,
Get them upstairs, They seem to like us now, That will work,
I have a small project in my apartment,
It's pretty exciting,
While you're doing that, me and Loren will bring
the suitcase back downstairs and leave it on the curb,
Cops upstairs, dead little guy downstairs, Boom,
- This is good, - OK,
I think that the communication is best in my marriage
when I have a secret
because the secret always leads to a little bit of guilt
and then the guilt makes me more patient and kind,
And when I am more present and loving, so is Bunny,
- That's so beautiful, - There you go,
- Ma'am? - Yes, ma'am?
- Who you touch? - Come on, now,
I didn't touch anyone,
and I can touch whoever I want,
OK,
Whoo-hoo, Ah, huh,
I've never been in a cop car before,
Ha ha, Oh, really?
Yeah, I mean,
I've never been behind the wheel of a cop car, Is that weird?
No, it's not that weird, The wheel?
Nah, nah, It's not weird at all,
Yeah, I was never behind the wheel of a cop car
until I joined the force,
Mm, The force? Tell me about the force,
You want to put that on? See how that looks?
- Mm-hmm, - Oh, that's not bad,
Look at that, huh?
All right, all right, So,,,
she would really love to get a get a photo of her
in the car with you guys posted up around her?
You want to take a little picture in there?
Yeah, Post you guys on either side?
- Yeah, - Is that possible?
Do you have any pants?
- No, It's summertime, - Oh, that shouldn't matter,
Yeah, it's summertime, Come on,
All right, all right, I'll tell you what,
- Come on, - Don't worry about it,
Look, Hey, don't touch anything in there,
I just want one little--
Yeah, you want a little picture in there?
- Yes,,, - All right, In you go,
All right, Here you go, All right,
It should be fine,
I'm not driving this fucking car again,
All right, Oh, You're getting in with her?
This is your car,
Oh, yeah, Yeah,
I need to be--I need to be in the picture, Look here,
Good, Perfect,
- Ah, there we go, - OK,
All right, Come on,
Come on, Let's do this, Ooh!
Whoa, whoa, Here we go,
I'm ready, Great, Here,
How do I look?
Why don't you throw me some of that thunder I see
behind those eyes?
All right, Wham,
Let me do one hard, bro,
OK, Get hard,
Perfect, We got it,
OK, Out we go,
Thank you, I'll take the phone,
All right, Bye,
Don't touch anything,
All right, There you go, You need it?
Yeah, That was cool, right?
Just move it to the empty apartment next door
and switch it out for that stove,
Wait, Who's that?
That's Franklin,
He's from my church,
He's no good with his hands,
What a shame,
I'll help you,
No, you won't,
Bunny? Bunny, is that you?
Bunny, I've been looking for you,
Hey, careful on the stairs,
He's coming, he's coming!
- Who? Who's coming? - The rabbi,
The rabbi is coming,
He was supposed to come by earlier,
and then he disappeared on me,
and I thought maybe that he was gonna
stand me up, too,
But he finally got back to me and is on his way right now
to check the whole situation out,
Wow, I mean, what a mitzvah, huh?
You were right, Everything is looking up,
This is exciting,
Where are you going?
I just have to run downstairs real quick,
grab the police officers
to help me move Ian's stove,
Stove?
I'm excited, This is good,
You're allergic? I'm allergic,
I can deal with it, I can do it,,,
It's a hazard,,,
OK, got it? All done,
I can't thank you enough, officers,
Wait, Are we sure this is legal?
Actually, the landlord requested it,
OK, Yeah,
Is this where you wanted it, Franklin?
Come on,
I'm allergic to dogs,
Go, go, go, go,
You got it,
It has wheels,
You use the wheels,
It's so heavy,
All right,
Damn, Yo, what are you doing over there?
Homeless Kid: Farting in this cop car,
Oh, I dig it, man, You want to have impact,
why don't you shit in the car?
Homeless Kid: 'Cause I don't have enough time,
It's done, man, Yo, what--
what are you doing with that? Whoa, we're good,
It's trash, Don't worry about it,
Homeless Kid: No, I'll take that,
No, you won't take that,
Fuck, Homeless Kid: What?
You know what?
Look at you,
Lanky, thin,
sickly a little bit,
You're too tall for these clothes, OK?
This is a bag full of clothes, these are
smaller people's clothes, Homeless Kid: Huh?
They're not gonna fit you,
We have to take them to the organization,
It's for children, Yeah,
so don't worry about it,
These are children's clothes,
Homeless Kid: Can I get a cigarette?
Just drag it by the-- What?
Homeless Kid: Can I get a cigarette?
I'll do you one better, man, Here,
And you can skedaddle, There you go,
Homeless Kid: Whoa, You can pawn that,
Homeless Kid: Thanks, man, Yep, Just for you,
Homeless Kid: Yo, let me get a cigarette,
Oh, Yeah, OK,
Dino, Dino,
Homeless Kid: You got a-- you got a light?
Yeah, yeah,
Homeless Kid: Yo, let me get a light,
Dude, back up a little bit, Here, take that,
That's all you, Good-bye, Thank you,
Leave me the fuck alone, You got it?
Get the fuck away, I got the door,
All right,
Oh, my God! The fuck, The wheels,
- Jesus, - That kid smells like shit,
Yeah, he did,
Oh! Oh!
Dude,,,
was it like this outside? I don't know,
Get it in, I can't get in,
The fucking zipper's broken, I said this earlier,
Oh! Oh, my God,
I got to take him out, No, no,
Yeah, Out? Out?
Dude, I got to get him out now,
All right, Before someone
fucking comes in, Oh, he's all fucking loose,
Lift, OK, hold on,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lift,
I don't know what to do, Here,
Oh! Oh, shit!
OK,
Thank you,
This is a lot,
but I cannot wait
to see the final product,
I'm, like-- Oh, yeah,
I'm actually really excited now,
Oh, finally, I am,
Thank you, It's gonna be great,
Listen, like, your man's made a great decision,
- Yeah, - Having this one, really,
Don't call him "my man's," but, yeah,
It's a--it's a good stove?
I mean, you don't have to say it,
That's just mean, dude, I don't know why
you would say that, but, um--
anyway, I had one of these Avantis here,
and, dude, it'll change your life, seriously,
I'll look into that, You should,
'cause I'm having a gas issue,
You really should, Listen, I am sorry,
You are my man's,
And there is no excuse, You just--
you pushed it a lot today, but I have no excuse,
What am I trying to do, impress a cop?
All I know is Franklin wanted a new stove,
Are you even listening?
It's a psychosomatic reaction,
It's the dogs with the little fucking sharp hairs
trying to tell me,
Loren, whispering: Just stay here,
OK,
Dude? Dude? Yeah, Yo,
Shh, The cops are right there,
OK, Please? What? What?
Look, just please shine your light
and look if there's spiders behind me,
I'm serious, I'm serious,
No spiders, Oh,
His eyes are open, though,
I know, Oh, God,
Oh, God, I can feel it, It's in the air,
OK,
Dino, exhaling: OK, Shut the door,
Loren, whispering: Yeah, door shutting,
Oh! Ooh,
Oh,
Oh, man, Cramps, you know?
I, uh, I have an inquiry for you,
Yes, sir,
Where do I get the top-notch burger
in the area? Top-notch burger?
I don't know top-notch burger in the area,
I--I don't mean a place called The Top Notch,
I'm looking for the top-
notch burger,,, Fucking jagoff,
But I know where the best burger
in town used to be, Fuck,
It was called The Great Jones,
I don't think they called it that,
Oh, yeah, They called it,,,
The Jones, Right,
Yeah, man, that was a good burger,
It was past its time, Right, well, then
they were gonna open and then they shut
and then they open again and then they--
You a cheeseburger man? No, absolutely,
I take it with a Gruyere,
Don't call me an aristocrat, but I like it that way,
If not, I go straight for the American,
Oh, hey,
I bet you're a cheeseburger guy,
Don't ask him anything, He's gonna tell you
a Smashburger, Look at his shirt,
Are you a Smashburger man
or you a charbroiled man? Of course he's
a Smashburger, man, Look at him,
I do--I do enjoy a Smashburger, sir,
How you doing, sir? Oh, my God,
Good to see you, What's happening, man?
Smashburger? Yeah, that's right,
And I'm not even a detective,
Excuse me, Sorry,
Yeah, How's your golf swing?
Gramps, I shot an 85 today,
He just called you Gramps,
Franklin, I'm not sure about
the placement of this stove, I like it,
I'm not moving the stove again,
I mean, it's definitely not much
of a stove, Dad,
Oh, David Car--
you know who that is?
Do you know who that is?
Of course he knows who that is,
It's David Carradine,
Have you ever seen "Bird on a Wire"?
That's Franklin's favorite movie,
Franklin, are you listening to me?
David Carradine, great actor,
great career, great work,
and he'll only be remembered for one thing,
One thing that he didn't even do,
His family hired a forensic expert
to determine the cause of death,
and the expert said it was not suicide,
Framed,
Exactly,
Officer Nadov, do you have a status update
on the current task at hand?
Take care of yourself,
Yeah, Yeah,
Thank you, Sorry for earlier obviously,
- No worries, - All right, man,
And? Yeah, it's on the floor,
He shat on his floor,
Your go-to story,
Let them go,
Loren, whispering: None of it worked,
What? The homeless kid's got
his butt in the cop car, farting, then he wants
the suitcase, then the body falls out--
Where is it? It's with your boy
Dino in the bathroom,
Dino's in the bathroom with the body,
- Right now? - Right now,
- OK, Let's go, - OK,
Oh, my God,
Oh, help,
Jesus Christ,
Dino crying,
I'm not crying! Dude, I am so sorry,
Oh, my God, That fucking dick bag
put his golf clubs in here,
This sucks,
By the way, we got to be careful,
'cause he's all fucking stiff and shit now,
Oh, God, It's gross, I know, Ahem,
You OK, man? Oh, my God!
Oh, it's not-- On top of the suitcase,
We got to put him back in, Mm! What happened?
Oh, my God, Fuck it, OK,
Still dead, Ahem,
Mm, OK, Dino--
Yo, tell me the truth, though,
Are there spiders behind me? Yeah, everywhere,
I fucking knew it, Dude, I fucking knew it,
Come on, That was horrible,
All right, OK, I know this is fucked up,
but here's the situation,
We're just gonna take this little guy, shove him
back in the suitcase, and drop him
in the middle of that party, OK?
Yes, Then do it,
Yes, OK,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Hold on,
Isn't that kind of dangerous? Yeah,
What if somebody sees you walk in with the suitcase?
And that is a huge possibility,
Oh, man, I mean, you're right, but--
Well, no, wait,
Do you have a suggestion? Do you have any ideas?
Burn it, Burn it?
Bunny, panting: Let's go to the fire escape,
You have 3 men,
Take it down, 3 men, take it down,
Hey, we go to the fire escape and we do it
inside the apartment, We're gonna go scope it out
from inside the party, Yeah, let's check
it out, then we'll do it, All right, grab him up,
let's do this, Let's go to the party,
Grab everything, we'll go to the party,
Get these golf clubs, All right,
Yeah,
Hey, how you doing?
Dude, what are you doing?
I'm blending in,
Oh,
Scope it out, will you?
That one's me, That one's--
dude, turn around,
OK, I'm turning,
Not my fault, Nobody's really eating,
They're PB and J's, If they were grilled cheese,
everyone would be fucking eating, Riley,
Tomato soup or something,
Who makes soup for a fucking party?
What are they doing? I don't,,,
Oh, they're playing one of those things
that they be, like, on a roller coaster right now,
What do you mean?
It's like, uh, virtual--virtual stuff,
Oh, that's Betty, Wow,
Little baby doll outfit, She cannot see you,
Oh, shit, I'm gonna go talk to her,
Ha! OK, whoever's tapping me, I can't see you,
- Hey, yo, Betty! It's Dino! - Oh, my gosh!
Whoa, whoa, OK, bro, Hey,
Bro, I can hear you, You invited us,
What are you guys doing?
We're just blending in, Yeah,
We were actually wondering if we can get a tour,
What? Yeah,
Doesn't your guy's apartment
look the exact same?
Yeah, is that weird?
But I do have a question,
There's 3 of you, Yeah,
And there's two bedrooms here,
Yeah, we rotate, Oh, yeah?
They rotate? Yeah,
Yeah, Yaz I rotate, OK, so one of us gets the couch,
and another one gets the room, and then
Moneybags over there gets the 365-day deal,
It's Elaine's room?
Hey, Elaine, Hey, Dino,
Hey, Elaine, Hey, Kalief,
So, who has the room this week?
I do,
Betty, Heh!
What does your room look like?
Real subtle, Dino, Let's go,
Name a city,,, Yeah?
and I'll tell you the football team,
- I don't know football teams, - Neither do I,
So then why are we talking about it?
Just ask me,
Uh,,,
Who won the '98 Super Bowl?
John Elroy, Denver Broncos, last season,
Elway, Elway, John Elway,
James Ellroy, "Black Dahlia"?
Wow,
Oh, push up, push up, push up,
Fuck,
Oh, man, Oh, my God! Christ,
Oh,
OK, OK,
I got it, I got it,
Dude, go for it,
All right,
Hey, you know, Betty shut
the door behind me,,, Yeah,
today, when we went into her room?
Uh-huh?
Yeah, Really?
She just kept talking about how she has to share
the couch and the couch swap thing and the room swap,
and it was so unattractive,
Well, I think you're so relationship-averse,
it's just you do anything to ruin something,
We got to go,
I can't go back out there,
I can't go back out there, I can't,
Bunny, sighing: All right, all right,
You can't, I got it,
Yeah,
Today's been,,,
Can we just talk?
Can we just stop and talk?
Thursdays, 3 a,m,
What's Thursdays at 3 a,m,?
Your Calvin Klein ad,
I hit Paolo, That's when they do it,
Paolo knows when they change the Calvin Klein ad?
Yeah, I mean, so he says,
I'm choosing to believe him, Yeah,
He hit someone, That's when they do it,
Thursdays at 3 a,m,
Friday mornings, 3 a,m,, OK?
But we go to a movie Thursday night,
midnight movie, we hit the sign, a couple chairs,
Yeah, that's cool,
That is cool, Uh-huh,
Yo, They got cereal in here,
Heh heh!
It's Life, Heh! Disgusting people,
Who,,,
who are these two gentlemen? Oh,
that's my husband Bunny, and that's Dino,
Dino's his brother,
Well, not really, but they seem inseparable,
They're even wearing the same thing today,
which I find silly at their age, but also cute,
They do shit like that all the time,,,
Yes, unfortunately,
And, uh, where are they?
They're out, Oh, last I saw,
they were just right downstairs,
When I came to let you in, I walked right by them,
You know, I would like to speak
with these two, if I may, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, totally, totally,
Um,,, Right away,
I'll go down and see,
I'll go down, Rabbi, I'll go get them,
OK, Thank you! OK, OK,
Yeah, You're welcome,
Oh, shit! Oh, Babe--
What are you doing here?
We had to move the package,
- Uh, what? - We had to move the package,
The suitcase, I got it, I got it,
I got--oh, no,
No, oh, no,
This is a bad idea, Bad idea,
What do you mean? Are you kidding?
You can't just leave the girls with the body,
I totally agree, yeah, I mean, these kids
are terrific, They throw a wonderful party,
Oh, my God, you guys are so fucking predictable,
Also, I'm assuming you know the rabbi's upstairs?
So? "So"?
Yeah, yeah, So what?
He fucking wants to see both of you,
Yeah, What?
How does he know who we are?
I know, He's,,, All right,
this is what you're gonna do,
You're gonna fucking deal with this,
fast, I'm gonna try and stall the rabbi,
which has been borderline impossible,
I'm telling you, he's running a fucking hard line,
I'm pushing, OK,
Yes, Fast!
OK, Yes,
Ah,
Ah, "Diary of a Mad Black Woman,"
Yeah, Heh! Yeah, How does the rabbi know
who we are? Also, I'm not fucking going back
on that fire escape, Wait, hold on, Let's regroup,
Let's go, She's awesome,
Let's go, Come on,
She's fantastic,
She is extraordinary,
She has a similar-- is she related to--
Happy, whispering: Yeah, that's Bobbie's mother,
Bobbie, Yes,
Yes, Ah, beautiful,
Beautiful hair,
Look at the--oh, Like she's almost praying,
You're getting jelly all over your cup,
All right, Plan,
Shit,
Fuck this, Go, go, go, go, Go,
Nope, Where's the suitcase?
Fuck that,
No, there's a chick, like, passed out
in there, So what?
Like, her skirt's hiked up, I'm not touching her,
Like an Eminem song, dude,
Nobody's saying touch her,
Just pull the suitcase out from under,
- "Just"? - Yeah,
No, no, she's, like, laying on the suitcase,
Listen, Loren, my DNA's
not going anywhere near that woman,
OK, I've done enough damage tonight, man,
He's right,
Should I get Linda?
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah,
Fuck, man,
I should have studied harder,
Oh,,, what do we do now?
Just go in the closet,
There has to be something, It's fucking insane in there,
In here? OK, Oh, wow,
Come on, Oh, use these,
Let's go, All right, This--
Oh, my God!
It's a pogo stick,
Heh!
All right, I got it,
It's fine, Yeah,
Be careful, Mm,
Oh, shit, Here, Stop,
Oh, stop poking her, Oh,
I don't know what else to do,
OK, I'm gonna get her foot,
I got an idea,
Stop,,, I'm just gonna
pick her up, just like that,
I'm just gonna pull her away,
Fuck, We just need this suitcase,
I'm picking her up, OK,
Drunk Partier: What are you doing?
Oh, what happened?
Oh, my God, it's Linda, It's Linda,
Drunk Partier: Hey,,, Dino, chuckling: Hey,
Get up, now! Yeah,
Get up, lady! Get up,
Yeah, Heh heh! Get up!
Yeah, yeah, Get up, now!
Listen to her,
Get up, get up, Oh,
Yeah, I got something for you,
Now, wake up, We're standing,
Hey!
Drink too much, the lady,
Smell bad, Oh,
OK,
Come in, Wake up! All right,
Drink too much, Let's go,
All right, we're gonna go,
Snoop Dogg: * ,,,jumpin', the place was packed ♪
♪ LBC, motherfucker, we back ♪
Warren G: * About to drop something, about to turf ♪
* The turf 'bout the surf ♪
♪ What is it worth?
Warren G: * Well, I'm the W-A- double R-E-N-G ♪
* And I'm the S-N- double O-until the P-D-O-G ♪
Warren G: * Celebrate it, elevate it ♪
* It's me and my dawg
Warren G: * You know I regulate it ♪
* Strobe lights, low-lifes, highlights, 2-10 ♪
You got this? Yeah,
Ew, what fucking smells so bad?
It's that fucking junkie behind me who stinks,
No, no, no, it's that old Chinese bitch's food,
Ha ha ha--whoa!
Fuck,
Officer Belle: OK,,,
everybody here has to go,
Oh!
We live here, All right, well,
anybody that lives here obviously can stay,
Everybody else, let's go, On the way out,
I'm, like, staying on the couch this week,
No you're not, It's Yaz's couch week,
All right, fucking joke, What you're not doing is
listening to any of us, OK? This fuck--
what's your fucking name? Fucking Rifle?
Gunnar, What you're not
fucking understanding is that this fucking guy swung first
on my friend, who you have in the back of your car
right fucking now! No, that is
a fucking lie! All right, all right,
And everyone here can attest to that!
Yo, I'm pretty sure that his best friend is
a hooker! All right, listen!
Who cares? Can anyone here
attest to what the gentleman's saying?
Yes, Yeah,
Yes, yes,
Bunny?
Bun? Hi,
Hey, Mm-hmm?
Bobbie? Bunny?
- Bobbie, - Bun,
- I love you, but,,, - I love you,
I have to come clean,
Bunny,
you're gonna shut the fuck up,
You're not gonna say anything,
You're gonna take Bunny to jail, then?!
And you're gonna let Richie Rich here
go swim in a pool of money? Jesus fucking Christ!
Shut the fuck up!
Every one of you! Who you yelling at, bro?
Dino! Who the fuck are you
yelling at, tough guy? Look at you, trying
to stand there all charged and shit,
thinking you're all tall! Who do you think you are?
You come up in here just accusing people of dumb shit,
you fucking bald-headed, flat-footed pussy!
Dino! Oh, my God!
Shut the fuck up, Dino!
Say one more motherfucking word,
Bro, you ain't shit, Dino,
You mouthed off to that cop, didn't you?
Hmm,
The junkie took the suitcase,
Loren ditched,
Hell of a run,
Sir, sir-- If you talk to me
like a human being, I can-- Whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Quiet! Quiet! Belle, Calm down,
Belle, what is going on here?
Ah, ha ha,
Gabrielle,
Come here, come here, Where'd she get churros?
I don't know, but I want one,
So here's the deal, Showed up here
on a, uh, noise complaint,
and when I walked in, the, uh, Bunny gentleman
was knocking out this Gunnar kid,
- Get the fuck away, - Fuck you guys!
- Fuck you, - Call your daddy,
- You rat fuck! - Dick!
Oh, he just called his dad, he just called his dad,
And where the fuck were you 20 minutes ago?
We were getting some fucking churros,
Police radio: Copy that, We can hold up,
Uh, police,
this guy swung first,
What? Which? Which one is that?
This guy, Whoa, whoa, whoa,
Why'd you say that? No, I fucking didn't!
You hear this? Who swung first?
He did! You knew who did this?
Yeah, fucking right!
Are you kidding? Look at my fucking face!
Did you talk to any of these witnesses?
I talked to every one of 'em,
OK, well, where's the other half of you?
Where's the prettier version of you?
He's upstairs! Well, where--
where the fuck is Bunny? Bunny's in my car,
in the cage with Eminem,
Listen, we've been here all day, and all we've seen
is Bunny help people,
We were, like, trying to fucking tell you,
but you were not fucking listening,
All right, F-letter Words,
We just got here, Relax,
Why don't we just go upstairs and get
the other gentleman, huh?
OK, Let's go upstairs,
Official police business, Actually,
you were called, Why don't you do that?
Loren, sighing: Oh,
Hi,
It's Bobbie, right? Mm-hmm,
- You doing OK? - Mm-hmm,
- You sure? - Uh-huh,
OK, well, listen, I know it's been a wild day,
but we're gonna figure this out, all right?
- Appreciate that, - I don't want you to worry,
What am I doing?
I don't understand why you're so Johnny Confident
about him getting arrested, because if he gets arrested
and goes to jail, that means you go to jail, too, because
we have 8 witnesses who say you threw the first punch,
What? Yeah,
- No, that's bullshit! - Yeah, that's what it is,
You ever been to jail? Ha!
They have not been to jail,
Oh, these fucking guys,
You guys see what happened here?
He did it,
Fuck that!
This is so fucking unfair! What the fuck?
Hey, Case closed,
Take it easy, I go to some lame
art chick party, and I get punched
in the fucking face? Well--
Yeah! Look, obviously,
we don't want to go to jail, dude,
OK, Then it's settled,
So we're--we're good?
I'll run it for you, I'll just hide it,
Look who it is, Oh,
Eminem and Thor,
Hey, Belle? OK,
- Huh? - You got to uncuff 'em,
Well, I'm fine to let this one go, but this one's
not going anywhere, What?
I'm sorry, man, What are you sorry for?
I should have just kept my mouth shut,
I was trying to help him, I was wrong,
So you learned a lesson tonight?
- Absolutely, - OK,
Belle, just let him go, man, Cut him a break,
I let him go, what's in it for me?
We'll grab a coffee later,
That make you happy? Let him go,
My house or your house? Oh, Christ,
Starbucks,
Booyah!
Venti? Jesus Christ,
Let's go drinking, Stop talking,
Just uncuff him, Jesus Christ, I want a big one,
What do you boys got
planned for the rest of the night? Anything good?
Bedtime, Yeah,
Bedtime, That sounds-- Yo, relax,
All right, Don't make us
regret this, guys, Enjoy the rest
of your night, Thank you,
Good night, Thanks, guys,
Happy birthday, Take care,
Thank you, You're welcome,
OK, we got to find that fucking suitcase,
like, now, I know,
Aw, how does it feel to be free?
Where have you guys been?
The rabbi has been waiting,
All right, come on, Let's go in,
Yeah, let's go,
I do believe I saw you slay a giant,
What does that mean?
I saw what I saw,
downstairs?
Why haven't you called the cops?
I didn't call the police because,,,
I heard you say you were raped, and I believed you,
- You believe me? - Yes,
I'm supposed to feel better,
but you're standing over me in the back room,
talking to me, so what are we doing?
What was your last act of kindness,
truthfully? I'm trying to help
my neighbor get rid of a bad guy,
We are trying to help the neighbor
get rid of a bad guy, Yes, we are,
OK,
Uh, OK,
I see,
Look, so, yo, I--
I start the day thinking I'm gonna help someone
find themselves sexually, Yeah?
I end up standing over a giant dead guy,
and we got this teeny, tiny one that's gone missing,
I see--
Daddy's home,
Oh, you got the suitcase back!
I been in the stairwell, listening
to that freak Franklin still blasting "Kung Fu,"
"Kung Fu"?
Loren, you good?
Listen to me, Bunny,
I'm--I am, "Kung Fu,"
Carradine,
David fucking Carradine,
That big bastard,,, was masturbating,
You know, I remember when that happened,
It was really sad, Autoerotic
asphyxiation,
Bingo, Rabbi,
Autoerotic asphyxiation,
See? See how they framed Carradine?
What am I not getting here?
Oh, it's autoerotic asph--hmm--asphyxiation,
Just a minute, "A person engaging
in such sexual strangulation is sometimes called a gasper,"
We got a gasper,
Heh! I get it,
So the big guy comes into little junkie's apartment,
kills him, and then he ends up here, jerking off?
Yeah, lights out, like David fucking Carradine,
Whew! Rest in peace,
Yeah, nobody's gonna give a shit
about either one of 'em,
Oh, Weirdo sex,
This could work, Exactly,
Bobbie,
Deal with it tomorrow, but you got to call her,
OK,
I love you, I love you,
This is obscene,
In a fucking suitcase,
Take pictures of everything,
Everyone's wearing gloves, right?
Have to-- Don't scare me, man,
Kim, come on,
You don't got to think about it,
You've done this before, Please?
* Rock 'n' roll, save my life tonight ♪
♪ Amongst many, many more beautiful nights ♪
♪ Oh, baby, you just know it ♪
♪ I really just want to be free ♪
♪ Of the same mistakes ♪
♪ And it never breaks, but we're still young ♪
♪ And our heart still aches to find life ♪
♪ And a life beside it
♪ And we'll fight 'cause you know ♪
♪ That we're right and we'll win ♪
♪ 'Cause we never give in, so begin ♪
♪ In your street today
♪ And you know
♪ When is the place we can go ♪
♪ Where we can be all alone ♪
♪ To escape the world today ♪
♪ Never heard girls put a smile on my face ♪
♪ And take me out of this sad, horrible place ♪
♪ So come on, let's do it
My turn, Your turn, then was my turn,
♪ Again, let's meet up,,,
Nobody hurt Linda, Hey,
What? What?
Your pops is a standup guy,
Shut the fuck up, Dino,
Dino, chuckling: OK, OK? Good,
* And we'll fight
♪ 'Cause we know that we're right and we'll win ♪
You know, this,,,
Come on, come on,
Linda, Thank you for today,
Come here, come here,
Family, Here,
Oh, my gosh, Beautiful,
* Where you'll escape from the world today ♪
♪ Oh, bring your lips, it's the apocalypse ♪
♪ I'm assuring you something that you just can't miss ♪
Homeless Kid: Don't worry,
I stole it,
* Our wild times in the sun ♪
Yeah, I saw, You saw?
* Gonna do it this way tonight ♪
♪ Toni-i-ight, yi, yi, yi
♪ Do it this way tonight
♪ And we'll fight
♪ We know that we're right, and we'll win ♪
♪ We'll never give in, so begin ♪
♪ In your street today
♪ And we'll fight
♪ You know that we're right and we'll win ♪
♪ Never give in, so begin
♪ In your street tonight
♪ Ooh
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ Ooh
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ Ooh
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
All right, Kind of annoying that we
have to carry the chairs back, I know,
Should we cr--Let's cross,
Should we? Yeah,
Stewart Lupton: ♪ If ever this motorcycle
♪ Go slip in the mud now
♪ Well, let me have these children ♪
♪ To carry down the blood
♪ If ever these ruby rings
♪ Are slipping from my cold fingers ♪
♪ Let them be passed down now ♪
♪ And, honey, let my ghost linger ♪
♪ Well, I will raise 'em, I will raise 'em ♪
♪ I will raise, I will raise, I will raise 'em ♪
♪ Oh
♪ In the city surrounded by water ♪
♪ Now give me daughters
♪ And make 'em 1, 2, 3
♪ I will raise 'em
♪ They'll go to church with me ♪
♪ Every day, in every way
♪ I gave 'em all I had
♪ And I walk along OK
♪ Oh, oh
♪ Oh
♪ If you're tired or you're hungry ♪
♪ Or you had too much sugar
♪ Oh
♪ Now give me daughters
♪ And make 'em 1, 2, 3
♪ I will raise 'em
♪ They will look like me
♪ And when they send, send me away ♪
♪ Well, I will always pray
♪ For a happy birthday
♪ And when at night coming down on crutches ♪
♪ You will never be alone
♪ Oh, you will become so beautiful ♪
♪ To think of it makes me cry ♪
♪ And every month, a brand-new letter ♪
♪ Written from my motel kitchen ♪
♪ To tell funny jokes and a little hope ♪
♪ If you ever get tired of living ♪
♪ If you're hungry or you're tired ♪
♪ Or you had too much sugar
♪ Oh, let me be
♪ The one that looks down on you ♪
♪ All right, eh
♪ Come on