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Good morning, It's 9 a,m,, Kyiv time,
This is a news show, Today our parliament, or Rada,
puts the anti-corruption laws for vote again,
As a reminder, this is what the IMF demands
in exchange for a 15 millions' loan,
Laws on offshore banks,
reforms of the judiciary system and prosecutor's office…
Everything looks very well now,
But we know what is going to happen in reality,
Where's the political will? Where are the promised reforms?
Why does everyone think that the loan is a remedy?
Maybe Chuiko's arrest was a mistake?
The previous government secured the stability,
We were not living in paradise but at least…
THE HAT IS TOO BIG FOR VASIA
I have a question, Who is better?
An honest dilettante or a corrupted pro…?
How is the President going to convince Rada? What new can he say?
Let's be honest, Everyone's waiting for him to resign,
FREEDOM TO YURA!
I hope now everyone realizes these laws must be adopted,
The IMF is making a decision tomorrow,
This voting is our last chance,
It's high time for us to understand the society has changed,
It is not going to wait and forgive anymore,
There won't be yet another revolution,
There will be the last one,
I hope you understood me,
Thank you, Mr, President,
Dear ladies and gentlemen, the legislative package,
suggested by the President of Ukraine, is put to the vote,
Please vote,
VOTES IN FAVOR - 1 THE DECISION HAS NOT BEEN TAKEN
Sorry, I pushed the wrong button, I am against it, too,
You shouldn't have drunk that much last night,
-Look who is talking, -Enough, gentlemen,
Stop it, We have to move on to the next question,
-We are not moving on, -I beg your pardon?
I said we are not moving on!
What's going on? Where did you all come from, Aldebaran?
What's so funny? 40% of unemployed people? Or backdated salaries?
Come on, tell me, so that all the country could laugh, too,
No populism, please, All that is not the deputies' fault,
You should bring in normal and refined laws,
-Have you even read these laws? -Yes, we have,
And we've got amendments, Again,
Then we will apply these amendments,
We will sit here until you adopt these laws,
There is a protocol, The agenda,
-Your laws only bring troubles, -Ok, Give that to me,
All right, The renaming of Ulianovka, Chapayevka and Shchorsovka,
Are you against the decommunization?
I am not, But is it our main problem?
People are starving, for God's sake!
And renaming the cities will not change that,
People are scared to be out in the street late with their kids,
And it doesn't matter whose name the street bears,
Our court is corrupted, too,
and renaming the city district won't help that, either,
Whose fault is it? Yours!
-And yours, too, Yes! I and my party… -Your party?
Stop that, ladies and gentlemen!
Your phone's ringing, Mr, President!
What?
Your phone's ringing,
Answer the phone, Vasily Petrovich,
-Hello? -Hello, Vasily Petrovich,
Maybe you should stop casting pearls before swine? Let's meet,
Did you decide to wear me down? Why are you putting him through?
-I want to help, -How?
Where should I go? Why? To meet whom?
-Hello, -Hello,
A counter-question, Did you make me your adviser
because of my competency or because we are dating?
Don't talk nonsense,
I am a good adviser, so I must speak the truth,
And the truth is that these people
are making all the decisions regarding laws,
Do you realize what you are forcing me to do?
Meeting them would mean accepting their status,
admitting that Rada is a fiction and that the country's fate
is decided by the code of criminals,
The sooner you admit it, the better!
You cannot treat pneumonia thinking you have a running nose,
Vasia, there is no other option,
You know that but you are afraid to admit it to yourself,
Okay, I will meet them,
Sorry, I've snapped,
Never mind,
The scent is wonderful,
Really? I don't feel it,
So, this is your scent, A right choice,
-Talk, -He's on his way,
Vasily Petrovich, thank you for coming,
-We meet too rarely, -I have a lot of work,
Let's not talk about work, Do you like horses?
-I bought a great stallion, -He always brings that horse up,
Sometimes you have to switch or you might go crazy,
Vasily Petrovich, our Rada won't run away,
-Your Rada, -Well, you understand it…
And if you do, let's come to an agreement,
-Let's do it, -Sure thing,
We are talking about 15 billion dollars,
You can get this money upon the following terms,
This is the candidate for the Prime Minister,
It took less than 2 months…
We needed to agree on the terms for all the parties,
Well, "milking" the IMF money
is a good motivation for striking a deal,
Come on, Vasily Petrovich, It'll be none the worse off for you,
You'll even have some money for the economy,
-Are you kidding me? -It's a lose-lose situation for you,
It's either him or nothing at all,
PASSPORT OF THOROUGHBRED HORSE
We are sick and tired of your horse, Misha,
I think he would make a good candidate for the PM,
He eats out of my hands, you know,
Here, Vasily Petrovich, I am sorry,
SERGEY LEONIDOVICH KARASIUK
This is not an option,
We don't have any other options,
-So be it, -What are you counting on?
We have all the aces,
I think you're overestimating your standing a little,
It was funny,
-Are you threatening us? -Me? God forbid,
But I will do all I can for these laws to be adopted,
We are sick of you, the reformers, It worked without you,
It wasn't too stable, but it did work,
And suddenly you came up
and changed the rules of the game in a second,
Why did you put Yura to jail?
You had to make arrangements with him,
to ask for his approval, to listen to him,
Great job, you guys,
You squeezed everything out of the country,
But you're still hungry, What are you saving for, huh?
We can chip in if you need help, All the country can,
Have you ever thought what would be written on your graves
when you kick the bucket?
-Nothing, -There will be no deal, then,
I guess you are right,
Which was to be proved, This meeting was useless,
Ok, he won't be the Prime Minister,
But can he be the President?
Why not?
Let's go,
Someone ran away, someone drank Someone was not born at all
If you don't wanna become a living corpse Come to the concert of your favorite band
Together we'll sing and dream of a country That will never become a paradise
Banderlogs are at every step - beware! They'll grab your legs - watch out!
There are many of them And you are alone…
To hell with you, Tolik,
The Prince is going to speak!
Brethren! We shall not disgrace our land,
We shall fall in battle, as the dead bear no shame,
Yes, you can leave and hide in your homes
with your wives and your herds,
You will plough, saw, and rejoice at the mercy of the khan
who wouldn't ruin your homes,
Will those who sold their comrades like mute beasts
be consumed by remorse?
I am coming after you!
I'll conspire with anyone, be it a god or an evil spirit,
to beat the Khazars' army,
But if there is anyone who decides to betray me…
The car started, Vasily Petrovich!
We can go now,
I will conspire with anyone to beat the Khazars…
Oh, hello there, Vasily Petrovich,
I've been expecting you yesterday,
Did you just come to visit or, as they say here, to be a resident?
Come in, sit down, Make yourself at home,
-How've you been? -Like in prison,
The lack of fresh air, vitamins and the sun,
The food's awful,
I will ask them to improve your living conditions,
Thank you, chief,
Vasily Petrovich, it's not why you are here, right?
I assume Rada didn't vote in favor
and you couldn't come to terms with our mutual friends,
So you decided to offer me a deal,
What can you do? Make my term less than 20 years?
-I can make it 7 years at the most, -Well, it sounds so tempting,
But I think I will refuse,
You should've accepted our friends' offer, though,
They want to have a full control of the IMF money
through their Prime Minister,
Well, the offer is great,
But I have not yet agreed to be the Prime Minister,
It has nothing to do with you,
They want Karasiuk,
-Who? -Karasiuk,
-Sergey…? -Leonidovich,
I want to know everything about them,
If you give me the compromising material on them,
you will be free, In 7 years,
Are you thirsty?
Let's go,
So, they chose Karasiuk, huh? Very interesting,
Come on,
Vasily Petrovich!
Yes, I agree, the whisky is quite lousy,
12-year-old crap,
Here you go, As they say, you're welcome to all I have,
You can have chocolate or fruit,
I must make a call, if you don't mind,
Hello, Boria! What's that joke about Karasiuk?
Oh, so it's not a joke, huh?
Everyone has decided on it?
Is the decision final? I see,
You know, Vasily Petrovich, I think I will accept your offer,
But on different terms,
First, I want a total amnesty,
Let's make it a half, ok?
Do you want the whole loan or a half of it?
Second, you must unfreeze all my accounts,
It's going to be very difficult,
Do you think it will be easy for me?
Can you imagine what would happen to me
if they suspected I decided to strike a deal with you?
Then I could only dream of my death to be quick,
Do you really know how to do it?
For that, I need to know two things,
How much time do we have?
And who has picked this perfume for you?
-Mika! -Yes, Vaso?
Tomorrow morning you must go to the remand prison
to pick up Yurii Ivanovich,
Bring him to your place, He has agreed to give testimony,
Got you, bro, I'll do it,
Have you visited Yurii Ivanovich?
He'll turn the oligarchs in for the amnesty,
Are you really going to release him?
Releasing one man will help me put all of them to jail,
Everything will be fine,
Take care,
A great man has passed away,
A wonderful family man…
A well-qualified manager and an experienced politician,
It's absolutely obvious
that he suffered namely for his political activity
and principled views,
Yura was never afraid…
I can't hear anything,
-Many people didn't like it, -Don't lean out,
They will notice you, What are we doing here?
Not everyone is lucky to see their own funeral,
First this preposterous, fabricated case…
And when it became clear that the lawsuit would be lost,
the government decided to get rid of him
in such a cruel way,
-Who is that? -Who?
-The man who's crying, -Oh, it's Gena,
-A friend of yours? -A real jerk,
-Why is he crying then? -These are happy tears,
You can't imagine how much he owes me,
What else can I say?
My congratulations!
The 90s are back in Ukraine, If someone thinks…
I wonder who sent this small and pathetic funeral wreath?
Why small? It's an ordinary wreath,
Vasily Petrovich, did you send me a wreath?
-Yes, -This is so cynical!
Excuse me, Sergey, hello,
Hello, Vasia, Are you already in Lviv?
I can't really talk right now,
Are you nuts?
Do you think I can embarrass myself in front of the IMF?
When will you be there?
I don't know, but certainly not today, Make something up,
I understand, Reschedule the meeting or…
-Vasily Petrovich! -What? Yurii Ivanovich, I'm talking,
Sergey, you're a minister so find a way,
All right, bye,
Damn it, He didn't even fly here yet,
-Speak Ukrainian, please, -I prefer throwing fits in Russian!
I don't care, You promised me, You must speak only Ukrainian to learn it,
All right, So, Vasily Petrovich is still in Kyiv,
It's ok, We can distract Mr, Adelweinsteiner for a few hours
by giving a tour around the Potoskys' palace,
A few hours, Oksana? He is not going to be here today!
-We are screwed, -That's what you can tell Mr…
-Adelweinsteiner, -Adel… wen…
-Adelweinsteiner, -Adels…
-Adel… -Adel,
-Wein… -Wein,
-Steiner, -Steiner!
-And now all of it, Otto Adelweinsteiner, -Otto…
-I'll call him by name, -He wouldn't like that,
Then you will say his last name,
Well, how do you think it will look like?
Memorize it while you have time,
It's too late, Oksana, Do you hear me? Too late,
And don't even try to joke with him, He is very serious and principled,
For him, schedule and protocol matter the most,
-Is he as boring as you are? -Jerk,
-Welcome to Ukraine, -Thank you, Do you speak English?
Yes, a little bit, But I prefer speaking Ukrainian,
-Mister Mukhin… -It's ok,
We can speak Ukrainian,
Don't be surprised, My Grandma was from Ukraine,
-Oh, Then welcome to Ukraine, Mr, Otto… -Adelweinsteiner!
-Yes, -Thank you,
Let's go,
Excuse me, but where is the President?
-He didn't come, -Does it mean we have problems?
No, What made you think so?
Did the President empower you to discuss all the matters?
-No, -Then we have problems,
-We have no problems, Mr, Otto… Say it! -Adelweinsteiner,
Is the President absent because the laws weren't adopted?
Oh, there were more laws adopted than should've been,
Now they're trying to figure out which of these laws were really necessary,
The final consultations are taking place and the details are being clarified,
Mr, President is about to fly here,
I'd like to remind you
that our meeting was scheduled for yesterday,
and only because of the recent tragedy we agreed to have it rescheduled,
Do you understand?
We really appreciate what you are doing for us,
Mr, Otto…
-Adelweinsteiner, -Yes,
Is it Sergey Viktorovich again? He's so clueless,
-Are you sure he's fit for the task? -It's Ania,
I see, By the way, it might not be her real name,
In any case, it's good you have put her to jail,
She's such a wretch, A person was blown up because of her,
-I could've lived much longer, -Let's change the subject,
Vasily Petrovich, don't get so upset,
This Mata Hari has a solid background,
You're neither the first one nor the last one,
Yurii Ivanovich, I got you,
Well, many servants of the people have passed through her…
Well, let's say, through her hands,
-Yurii Ivanovich, I got you, -Yes…
Mr, Shcherbakov, the former Vice PM…
Mr, Kuniayev, the deputy head of NBU, Mr, Semionov, Mr, Labuta,
Mr, Derikon, Mr, Yanenko, and I…
I was the only one who resisted her,
It was the whole former Cabinet of Ministers, except me,
-Can you keep silent for a while? -Yes, of course,
Oh no, not the whole Cabinet, There were two women,
-But, knowing Anna Mikhailovna… -Enough!
I am sorry, Stop the car,
-Tolik, no! -Stay, Tolik,
So, according to the program, the documents' execution
and a business dinner were planned for today,
which are cancelled I guess,
Oh, we'll do our best to stick to our plan,
We'll just correct it a little bit, that's all,
Let's start with a dinner, What do you say?
Will the President be there?
No, He wasn't present at the documents' execution,
so, as we say here, "who doesn't work, doesn't eat",
It was a joke, Of course, he will be there,
Have a nice day,
I feel sorry for Yura,
He was a useful man,
But there's nothing you can do, It's life,
When the hen starts crowing, it gets slaughtered,
-Yes, that's a pity, -Do we owe you anything?
It's nothing, Forget about it,
Fine, Then let's stay in touch,
Funny, Misha,
Vasily Petrovich, do you know who this is?
-No, -Neither do I,
Hello, Bullet, How are you, Petia?
Foma… Vasily Petrovich, meet my friends,
Hello, Mother,
Did you have a mother?
I am sorry,
-What is it? -Something you need,
Compromising material on the oligarchs,
Did you make a hiding place of your mother's grave?
-It's a sacrilege, You're a monster, -Vasily Petrovich…
Say nothing but good of the dead, Let's go,
There's everything here, the schemes, the files,
the offshore accounts, the epigrams,
-The epigrams? -I like writing them,
I have one about you, too,
-Want to hear it? -No,
"He who fulfilled the people's dream, thought governing was so simple,"
"But having governed for just a month,
-Vasily Petrovich screwed up…" -No need to continue,
The ending is too banal, Give that to me,
Vasily Petrovich, I have to warn you: if you misuse this,
you might become my neighbor,
-What do you suggest? -I will tell you a story,
There were three friends, Petia, Bullet and Foma,
The whole capital city was afraid of them,
from downtown to the bedroom community,
But there was a brave man who stood in their way,
Were you this brave man?
It doesn't matter, It happened long ago,
So they got very angry with him
and invited an assassin from the Caucasus mountains
to kill the brave man, as it was a usual thing back then,
Right, Foma?
The brave man found out about this plan,
And the three friends found out a lot, too,
Petia found out that Foma was his wife's lover,
Foma found out Bullet ratted him out to the police,
And Bullet found out Petia wanted to kick him out of business,
So they forgot about the brave man and killed each other,
What was this story for?
For you to understand you must do the same to the oligarchs,
Set them against each other, destroy their coalition
and strike deals with each of them, separately,
We have five days at the most,
What are your plans for today?
I was going to go to Lviv in the morning,
You'll go to Kharkiv instead,
The President is changing his plans,
Instead of meeting with the IMF,
he is going on a business trip around the country,
The President is planning to visit Kharkiv, Sumy and Ternopyl regions,
Vasily Petrovich, do you still hope to get the loan?
Yes, I do,
Are there any versions as to Chuiko's murder?
It's the investigatory privilege,
The PM's murder, the Parliament not adopting the laws,
the erosion of agreements with the IMF, Isn't it enough?
-No comments, -Vasily Petrovich!
-Hi, Where's Yurii Ivanovich? -In the compartment,
Wait, what if he is recognized?
Don't worry, Vaso, We've changed his appearance completely,
Even his mom wouldn't have recognized him,
Here's Yurii Ivanovich's remote control,
He wears a bracelet on his leg, If he tries to run away, he'll be zapped,
What made you change your plans so suddenly?
-Which berths do we have? -5 and 6,
Tolik, look,
This button will shake him, This one will fry him,
And this one is for medium well,
Oh, I am sorry,
Hello, Vasily Petrovich,
Hello,
I am impressed, I wouldn't have recognized you,
I recognized you right away,
Sure thing,
Oh wow,
The wrinkles, the hair, the pores - everything looks so natural,
And the dress! Where did you get it?
I wanted to change, you know,
-Would you mind waiting outside? -Why?
-You are a man, after all, -Yes,
And I am a woman!
Yes, from a distance, But at a close range… There are some flaws,
The secondary sex characteristics are still noticeable,
You must shave more carefully, Then it won't attract attention,
And these things… What is it? Polyurethane?
It's too hard, Should be softer for your age,
You had to make it harder here and softer here,
-And then it'll be… -What if I kick your butt?
I'll do that no matter who you are,
Oh, I am sorry,
Where's Yurii Ivanovich?
Is it normal to zap a living person?
Why are you looking at me?
Mika, Tolik said our berths were 5 and 6,
Why did some woman take those berths?
Compartments 5 and 6, Not berths,
So, Vasily Petrovich, how do you like my new image?
A crazy doctor?
-No, it's Mark Twain, -Oh, I see,
Are you learning Italian?
I am thinking about the afterlife,
Italy is a nice place for resurrection,
Sicily will suit you for sure,
Well, I was thinking about Capri,
Kharkiv, Yurii Ivanovich, Kharkiv!
Chickened out already? The main hobbit of Ukraine is coming for you,
No, I just thought…
Mikhail Semionovich, do you think
the President knows you and I are working together?
You got it wrong, You are working for me,
Don't you worry, Nobody knows about our business,
The governor of Kharkiv is Roizman's man,
All the money from the budget goes through his bank,
So, our main task is to convert the governor,
to convince him to choose Mamatov's bank instead of Roizman's,
The Ferris wheel in Gorky Park is the best place to do that,
-Why the Ferris wheel? -It's a perfect place,
No tapping or eavesdropping,
-The Ferris wheel, -The Ferris wheel…
-What if he recognizes you? -He will not,
Because you will talk to him,
-Me? -Yes,
No way, Impossible, He won't believe me,
If you don't show your true colors,
What are my true colors?
A money-grabber and a kleptocrat who loves kickback schemes,
I am a kleptocrat?
Tolia, we are just having a dispute here,
-I am a money-grabber? -Oh, please, stop it,
Do you think anyone believes this image of yours?
Even those who voted for you are now waiting and hoping to see
how much you are going to steal,
Don't let their hopes down,
-Do what's expected from you, -Enough!
SERGEY CALLING
I am sorry,
Vasia, it's about the international relations!
Rescheduling the meeting with the head of the delegation
is a worldwide scandal, do you get it?
I am not lying on the beach here, either,
These European dorks will ask me when you come here,
As soon as I have something to come with,
-Sergey! -Oh, wait!
Are you saying you are not going to come tomorrow, too?
-That's right, -Holy crap, Vasia! All right,
I'll deal with it,
But I really hope you know what you are doing,
I hope so, too,
Don't get in trouble, ok?
Nice song, huh? Why aren't you drinking?
A business dinner is not about drinking, It's about communicating,
The communication is better when you have vodka, Mr, Otto!
It's traditional for Ukraine,
Sorry, but my Grandma didn't tell me about these traditions,
It's fine, You will learn more in a moment, Gut?
Ja, gut,
Cheers,
No, This is the first traditional shot, You must drink it up,
Unless you intend to insult the host,
-I won't make it, -Play your part,
A money-grabber? I don't know how to play a money-grabber,
It's simple, I will teach you,
The most important thing is to keep silent and look,
-Is this necessary? -Yes,
I can't keep silent all the time,
If you want to say something, go ahead,
But like this, not out loud, like if you're talking to yourself,
-What? -Talk quietly,
-Why? -To make them bow,
Oh…
Here's that look, Remember it,
The second toast is to the happy life of the hosts,
-You must also drink it up, -Cheers,
Help yourself, The potatoes, lard and bacon…
We would like to see the President,
When is he going to be here?
No, It's a tradition,
Mikhalych, wait! Are you nuts, old man?
Get out! What are you doing? Oh God!
Tolik, I need to use the WC,
It's closed, The sanitary zone,
Tolik!
You are a real jerk, Tolik,
-Baby, open the door, I really need it, -Go to sleep, you old goat!
Cheers!
Please, tell me where the President is,
-Haven't I told you? -No,
Sergey Viktorovich, Sergey!
Are you out of your mind? Get up,
No, Give the minister a bit more time to sleep,
Leave quietly,
You blockhead, get up, We have a meeting in 30 minutes,
What meeting are we having, Oksana?
With the head of the IMF,
There will be no meeting at 11,
He will get up not earlier than 16:00,
-Go to bed, -Get up!
I don't know at what time he gets up, I don't care,
I'm responsible for you,
You must come to the meeting 10 minutes before it begins,
Sergey, you're a shame, Look at yourself, Take a shower, freshen up,
Blah-blah-blah! Oksana, you make a bad alarm clock,
Sergey…
Sergey Viktorovich, Mr, Minister,
I'm telling you again,
There won't be any appointment at 11, 12, or 13,
Hey!
-Good morning! -Good morning,
The meeting's at 11 am,
Yes, I remember,
Is he immortal?
Volodia, what about the President's cortege?
Don't worry, Taras, There will be a cortege,
At what time does the train arrive? Damn,
Pasha! Are we ready?
You're offending me, sir, We are 100% ready,
I hope it will be modest and not pompous,
Everything's according to the protocol,
Stop! Pasha, what's this?
The arc, the kids, the orchestra, the governmental employees,
Do you want me dead? What's all this for?
For the first visit of the President,
Have you forgotten who our President is? Idiot,
I'm surprised you didn't call the female drummers,
I did, Shouldn't I have?
That's a disaster,
It's a protocol, We have met all the Presidents like this,
Who did you meet? Take away the people,
Bury them, hide them, drown them!
-What's the President's train car? -5th,
Pravdiuk, do you hear me? It's Kovalev, Take the train one car ahead,
What should I do, Taras Andreevich?
Taras Andreevich, let's go,
I'm here,
Here,
-Taras Andreevich! -Don't follow me, you idiot!
Taras Andreevich, calm down,
-Where are we going? -To meet the President,
Pavlik, I think it's a failure,
If any journalist covers all this, I will…
On this sunny day Kharkiv streets are empty,
The hospitals are not working, The schools are empty,
The factories and plants have stopped working,
This is not a disaster, It's an arrival of the President to Kharkiv,
In the country where salaries are months late,
the President is met with great pompousness,
Yana, why are you lying to the people so boldly?
They meet the President over there,
Welcome to Kharkiv, Vasily Petrovich,
-Thank you, -Pardon me?
You're welcome, please,
Excuse me for such a modest reception,
But entertainment is not the purpose of your visit,
You are pressed in time and we have a lot to show you,
-Who are they meeting? -I have no idea,
You should have an idea,
This is how you should receive the President,
That's some great reception for taking the 9th place,
How would they meet us if we took the first place?
-What's this? -Escort, so to say,
Why not a route taxi? Where did you find this old rubbish?
In the regional car park,
They are nearly 100 years old, but they are still running,
We're saving money in such a way,
Is anything wrong?
This is not my level, Inappropriate for my status,
Mr, Mukhin, I hope you'll finally give me some clear information
about the President's whereabouts,
The President asked to excuse him,
Currently he is in Kyiv, holding final consultations with Rada,
How will you comment on the fact
that the President is currently in Kharkiv?
-What, Kharkiv? -The President is in Kharkiv,
Right, he is in Kharkiv, where else should he be?
Here, in Lviv,
He will come here after scattering the ashes,
The ashes?
In his last will, the Prime Minister asked to scatter his ashes above Kharkiv,
And who can do this? Only the incumbent President,
This is a tradition, But he will join us at the business dinner,
Have a nice day,
Did you understand what you just said?
I don't even want to recall,
Our main goal is to persuade him
to change Roizman's bank for Mamatov's bank,
So, you're saying that Roizman is getting 5%
from the utility payments of the entire city?
Me? I am not saying this,
No? Taras Andreevich, let's speak in direct terms,
I need a specific service from you,
For you, anything you want, Mr, President,
And the best place for this is the Ferris wheel,
-Our pride, 55 meters… -Let's take a ride,
Sure, Volodia, you're going with the President,
Is Volodia the governor now? I want you to join me,
For a private conversation,
I would love to, but I can't, I'm acrophobic,
-What? -I have a terrible fear of heights,
Anything you want, except the Ferris wheel,
I need to make an important call,
Acrophobic, oh God,
Damn,
-Yes, -Yurii Ivanovich, It won't work,
-He's acrophobic, -What?
He has a terrible fear of heights,
I won't be able to get him to the Ferris wheel,
What does the Ferris wheel have to do with it?
You told me, The Ferris wheel,
Talk to him at the Ferris wheel,
I could say anything, I just liked this idea,
So? A Ferris wheel is not a must?
Talk anywhere, far from other people's ears,
-Work on this, -I got it,
Look, To hell with this Ferris wheel,
-I have an idea, -Wonderful,
I want the budgetary money to be serviced at the Otrada Bank,
This is Mamatov's bank, It's a dirty bank,
Is Roizman's bank clean?
It has passed all the inspections and won the bid,
Taras Andreevich, to hell with Roizman and Mamatov,
Let's talk about you,
-I'm scared… -You should be,
All the gas stations in the city belong to your wife,
I'm divorced,
All the city pavement is produced at your cousin's plant,
It's a lie, he's my brother!
It's good that you don't have a sister,
And now let's talk about your property,
Sugar refinery, Chemical complex, Even this rollercoaster is yours,
That's 15 years' term with full confiscation,
So? One more round?
-Or a talk about Mamatov? -Mamatov!
All right,
Is it a deal, then? We'll bring the money through Mamatov's bank
with the same 5%,
Why five? 10 for you!
10% from the budget?
15? Okay, They can use old trams for one more year,
They won't die,
20! It's complicated, but we will do this,
We'll decrease the status of the Chornobyl victims,
The cleaning facilities can wait,
After all, Kharkiv without broken sewage
is like Venice without the canals,
What? 30? Vasily Petrovich, you should be more moderate,
Why everything at once? You are here for more than a year,
Then we can make it 50%,
but people will start rallying in the streets,
Then you will have to send the National Guard,
I'll break your back, you bastard! Stop!
30% of the budget?!
-That's what you wanted! -I will show you, jerk!
Vasily Petrovich! People are looking!
Now he's talking about people! I'll kill you!
Something incredible is going on in the Gorky Park,
President Goloborodko is chasing the governor around the park…
We had a plan!
Sorry, I couldn't help myself when he mentioned 30%,
I don't care even if he said 100, 200 or 300!
This is not the purpose of our trip,
I don't know what to do, We had a wonderful gambit,
How could you be such an idiot?
Tolik!
Do that again, Imbecile,
Stop it,
Yes! We will do a castling then,
We'll appoint Mamatov's man the governor,
-Who do you mean? -Vasiliuk Ivan Sergeevich,
Come on, He is totally corrupt,
-Vasiliuk won't become the governor, -Yes, he will,
President Goloborodko appoints Vasiliuk the new governor of Kharkiv region,
The President thinks
that only Vasiliuk will be able to bring order to the region,
Goloborodko also expressed his hope for fruitful cooperation
and promised any support on his part,
-I'm listening, -No, I am listening to you!
-What do you mean? -Don't play fool,
You're a bad actor,
What does this bullshit with Vasiliuk in Kharkiv means?
What is this?
-This is life, Misha, -I have heard you,
Son of a bitch,
Good evening, We will start our show with the main news,
The leader of the parliamentary faction Dobrobut stated the following,
We have considered all pros and cons and have decided that our faction
would vote for the President's laws and maybe leave the coalition,
What kind of circus is this, Mikhail Semionovich?
It wasn't me who started it, right, Rustem Ashotovich?
Misha, have you been eating too much matzoh?
I'm telling you again, It was the President who fired your governor,
God, you're so polite now,
Yesterday you called him a loser, a nobody, and today he is the President,
What are you accusing me of?
Of having agreements with Goloborodko?
I am not accusing you, I am stating the fact,
Goloborodko has appointed your man,
How did he find out it was my man?
Are you saying it was a coincidence?
Gentlemen, have you come here to fight? Calm down,
Everything is clear to me, an uninterested person,
-Who knew Tsitsik was your man? -No one,
Who knew Vasiliuk was your man?
Only the person we buried the day before yesterday,
I conclude that this is simply a coincidence,
It happens sometimes, So, Misha, you're wrong,
-Why would I… -Misha!
-Andrey! -Misha!
I'm sorry, Ashotych, I was wrong, I've overreacted,
Hopefully, the statement of your faction is just to make noise with the mandates?
Of course, No one is going to vote,
Let's consider then that the conflict is over,
Mr, President, I want to thank you for your trust again,
I will be a worthy successor to my predecessor,
I have no doubts about that,
I'm sorry, Do you want a cortege?
Five to eight cars?
The distance is not long, though,
Give my best to the governor of Sumy region,
-Tolik, are we going to the hotel? -No,
-I think we need to pick up something, -I've picked it up,
-Where is it? -In the trunk,
-What do you mean? -Your luggage is in the trunk,
I don't mean the luggage, Something else,
-Do you understand? -No,
-Where's the uncle? -The uncle?
Uncle,
-What uncle? -Did we take many uncles with us?
-Where's my uncle? -Your uncle?
-He's not mine, -Not your uncle?
No, our Uncle Yura,
Tolik, I think Vasily Petrovich means me,
-I'm here, The uncle is with you, -I can see that,
How did the meeting go? Didn't you bite off Vasiliuk's head?
What's the point? I'll bite one, he'll grow three new ones,
Vasily Petrovich, let's make a deal,
No more improvisations, But I must praise you,
Your improvisation with Tsitsik has brought its fruit,
Romanchenko said their faction was going to vote for your laws,
-Seriously? Well, that's cool, -I wouldn't be so happy,
I think he will deny this information tomorrow morning,
-Why? -It doesn't matter,
The ice broke up and gears are creaking, that's the main thing,
Okay, What are our plans in Sumy?
What plans can we have in Sumy, if we're going to Zaporizhzhia?
-How? -Fast enough,
We need to go to the hotel,
-Why? -To take the uncle,
-Tolik! -Tolik!
Mr, Minister,
you promised me, You swore that he would be here tonight,
-Who? -The President,
Oh,
This is a tradition, Ukrainian tradition,
-Cheers! -The traditional fourth shot…
Stop it,
Otto, ask me where the President is,
Where's the President?
A tradition, Fill the glasses,
Come on, Petrovich, don't be lazy, A couple more circles,
Do you want to leave the city without me?
I don't care whether you're a mayor or the minister of sport,
I would sweat your guts out,
Come on, Move it!
What is it?
Petrovich, the President is in Zaporizhzhia,
-What? -The President is in Zaporizhzhia,
What do you mean? He was supposed to go to Sumy,
-But he has come to Zaporizhzhia, -Damn, I'll be there in a sec,
-Here you are, -Nice running! You're doing well!
-Palych, stop! -Come on!
You can do it, if you want to! Very well!
Palych, stop, I'm telling you!
Don't talk, breathe normally!
-I will make an Apollo out of you! -I will kill you!
Come on! Finish it!
President Goloborodko has changed the plan of his business trip,
Instead of Sumy, he has gone to Zaporizhzhia,
There the President had a strict talk with the local state officials,
Isn't it cool? Do you like it? What is this?
Numerous difficulties have prevented us
from completing the construction of the bridge,
How? It is completed, Here is the bridge, Look, A monolith! Beautiful!
And the second one is over there, And the third one is over there,
It's a special technology, The newest one, Nano-bridges,
Transparent and crystal, It's an important thing,
Four billion from the state budget,
No, tell me, Maybe they just didn't tell me,
Maybe the ZAZ has invented a new Tauria model, A flying Tauria,
So, we don't need any bridges or roads,
The bridge is not our fault, The developer was careless,
And you failed to build the cardiologic center
for the very same reason,
Right, why would you need a cardiologic center?
You don't have a heart, Where's your mayor?
He has been hospitalized with a probable heart attack,
Thank God, someone does have a heart here,
Okay, let's go back to the bids,
For the bridge, for the roads, for the dam - everything is clean here,
Filed for different legal companies, But there is one problem,
All these companies have the same founder, Rustem Mamatov,
Maybe I don't know something again,
Maybe there are bids in which you can win a whole region,
Or maybe even a country,
It's quite possible that there have been such auctions,
But we haven't been invited there,
Vasily Petrovich, we were going to discuss
all these questions in two hours,
Discuss them and then tell me the result,
And one more thing, If I hear again
that the cleaning facilities at Zaporizhstal Plant
are switched on only before the arrival of the President,
I will put all of you into a pipe,
-Are there enough pipes? -Yes,
At least you have enough of something,
Vasily Petrovich!
What made you change the plan of your trip? Why Zaporizhzhia?
I found the facts confirming corruption in this region,
By the way, my special gratitude for the information and documents
to the journalist Sergey Biriukov,
-What was that, Misha? -I am shocked myself,
Why are you playing fool? You're a bad actor,
I think someone is implying something,
I'm not implying, I am speaking directly,
Misha, you're a scum,
Yesterday we celebrated a peace truce,
And now you arrange such an insidious act behind my back?
Watch your tongue, I have nothing to do with this,
Wait, Are you saying that your pocket journalist Biriukov
dared to speak without your command?
Am I a fool to tell him to do such a thing?
How would you explain it?
How do I know? Ask him yourself,
-I will, -All right,
-I will! -Do that!
-I will ask him! -Go ahead!
Gentlemen, he will be brought here soon,
-What's going on? -It's gratitude,
I would have killed you with this door in Kharkiv,
But here you did everything clean, Bravo!
No questions, You can do it when you want to,
Vasily Petrovich! What a nice surprise,
I've been told that we are having a special guest,
But I didn't expect to see you,
Well, it's here, Let's go, I will show you,
Ladies and gentlemen, This festive entourage…
Mr, President, please, come in,
…the exclusive Bentley presented to the woman of the hour…
-Where are we going? -Don't worry, everything is under control,
-Please, This is your table, -My table?
Yes, Everything you like, Small pies, red caviar, sterlet,
-Sterlet? -Yes,
Meet Verka Serdiuchka,
Doesn't the light and sound bother you?
Maybe, Serdiuchka…
-No, -Okay,
Have a seat, I will call the birthday girl,
Wait, Who is the birthday girl? Are we really supposed to be here?
It's the birthday of the first lady, Where else could you be?
-My first lady? -No, Zaporizhzhia's first lady,
-She's the mayor's wife, -Excuse me, we are not invited,
Vasily Petrovich! You are always invited, You are the President,
Listen, this is a misunderstanding,
-I must go, -Mr, President!
-Hello, -At least say hi to the mayor,
How can I say hi to the mayor who is in a hospital?
-What do you mean? -My sweetheart!
My heart,
-You…! -Vasily Petrovich! Brace yourself,
I think we should leave,
Calm down, It's all right,
Why are you so nervous, Vasily Petrovich?
A Bentley made the woman happy,
Happy? People use taxies for their entire lives,
Those are people, Someone has to drive a Bentley,
Maybe people should drive Bentleys,
Then it will be a route taxi, not a Bentley,
-Please, come in, -Thank you,
Come in, Vasily Petrovich,
Whose room is this?
It's the President's suite, You are still the President,
So, it makes sense, Don't you like it?
No, why? It doesn't matter whether I like it,
A standard room would be fine,
I admire your asceticism, Did you have Spartans in your family?
Stop clowning around, Yurii Ivanovich,
We come into this world naked, and we will leave it naked,
Vasily Petrovich, but you've missed a tiny thing
between the arrival and the departure,
It's life, No, if you want to live a life of a nudist,
you're welcome, I don't mind,
But I prefer to take everything from this life,
Yes, I have seen the 11 volumes of your criminal case,
Where you took everything from life,
-Twelve, -Like Hercules' heroic deeds,
What was that for, Yurii Ivanovich?
Grabbing, stealing, stepping on people, being a scum for the entire country?
Why would you need all these billions?
Do they warm up your soul? Do they boost your ego?
What are all these for, Yurii Ivanovich?
The tables, the chandeliers? The luxurious chambers?
-Coffins have no pockets, -And the terrace,
Terrible, These huge terraces, spacious balconies…
What do you need them for?
The view is amazing,
-Maybe for this? -Yes…
What are our plans?
What plans? We're taking seats in the front row,
We'll wait for the news and enjoy the triumph,
-Do you hear the rattle? -What rattle?
The coalition is being demolished,
Ka-pow! I'm offering you a bet,
Who will be the first to leave the coalition?
Zhanna and her democrats? Or Romanchenko with his radicals?
I think it will be Zhanna, What about you?
I think, Yurii Ivanovich,
I need to call and personally thank Biriukov,
-For what? -He gave me important information
behind Roizman's back,
No, He has nothing to do with this, The info is mine,
What do you mean? The documents… You told me…
I didn't tell you everything, It doesn't matter,
You've achieved your goal, The rest is history,
Do you realize that you exposed the man?
He's not a good man, He deserved to be exposed,
Can you imagine what they will do to him?
They will cripple him, Kill at maximum, Vasily Petrovich!
It's very inappropriate to intrude someone's private life,
-Do you agree with me? -No,
Then call him and apologize,
Vasily Petrovich, stop panicking,
Everything will be fine with Sergey, Fine, Just fine,
-Dork! -Why are you pushing him?
-Why did you give him to me?
You wanted to question him, Go ahead!
Am I a cop to question him?
Rustem, what will you drink?
It can wait! Is this the first time he exposed us?
Remember his attacks on me for Kyivgas?
For the heat and power authority? For Azovmetal?
Did he order you to do this?
Why are you asking him? Come on,
Ask about the truck with Polish illegal vodka,
-Misha, let's have a drink, -Let's!
-Let's!
-So, yes or no? -Andrey!
I don't want to drink!
Explain me please in plain language,
what would I gain from attacking you now?
You're taking revenge for Kharkiv,
-What Kharkiv, damn you? -Sergey, come here, drink with me,
Why are you standing here? Can't you see? We are talking,
-You did it, I have a gut feeling, -That's it,
An unjustified and ungrounded assault,
Gentlemen, calm down, Sergey is here, well and alive, Ask him,
Why are you swimming there? You toad!
Have you come here to swim?
Rustem Ashotovich! I swear, I didn't leak anything to anyone,
I learned about Goloborodko's statement post factum,
I have never contacted the President,
I have never been in touch with him,
He has never been in touch with him! What else did you say?
-I have never contacted him, -He has never contacted him!
He doesn't like to contact people,
I have checked his phone contacts, It's clean,
-Give it to me, -What's this?
PRESIDENTIAL ADMINISTRATION
-Oh my, -Put it on speaker,
-Hello? -Hello, Sergey,
Hello,
Excuse me, Sergey, It was a mistake,
I got the information on Mamatov from a different source,
-But I have named you, I am sorry, -It's okay,
I thought that if you had such information,
you would have given it to me, No?
Yeah…
Sure,
Frankly speaking, these Nemchuks, Roizmans, Mamatovs,
they are sucking the blood out of the country,
If I could, I would have returned death penalty,
The death would've been long and painful,
This is a wonderful idea,
Between you and me, who would you have started with?
With Mamatov,
With Mamatov? That's a great idea,
Thank you very much again, I am really sorry, Sergey,
Sergey who?
Biriukov,
Did you just call Biriukov and apologize?
Yes, I think it was an honest thing to do,
So, I am developing a plan, thinking every detail thoroughly,
and you flush it down the toilet with one phone call?
Don't be so dramatic,
I have no energy or desire to shout at you,
It was just a call,
You are an idiot!
Have it ever occurred to you that this scum records all phone calls?
-I didn't even think about it, -You should have,
I asked you not to improvise, Wasn't Kharkiv enough for you?
By the way, you praised me in Kharkiv,
Enough!
On the other hand, Tolik, we've exposed the man,
I had to apologize,
But maybe he's right,
I'm going to the bar!
Don't even try to stop me!
Good luck, Sergey!
Call me when you reach the opposite bank,
Rustem, you accused the man for no reason,
This is a strange coincidence,
There's nothing strange about it, This is a law of balance,
You won in Kharkiv, you lost in Zaporizhzhia,
Who would think that our teacher would be stirring up trouble?
He's small, but he's stinky, Son of a bitch!
It's okay, We will take revenge on this stinkpot,
That's a good idea,
It's so nice here,
-I don't even want to leave, -Why would you leave? You're home,
To Odessa, My daughter is getting married,
How's our revenge?
It's on its way,
Vasia will learn some stuff about Zaporizhzhia hospitality,
Scotch,
Tolia, why are you standing as if you were at a parade ground? Have a seat, relax,
-Here, -Thanks,
Tolia, did you see my briefcase?
Damn it, Tolik!
-Another one? -Yes, please,
Here you go,
You imbecile! If you do it again…
I can't hear you,
Tolia, order something to eat,
-Another one? -A bottle!
Good afternoon, Which room is the President staying in?
-I'm sorry, Who are you? -We are journalists,
We want to interview Vasily Petrovich,
Room 604,
Thank you, From the entire Union of Journalists, so to say,
Mukhin, I understand everything, But I'm not idling here either,
You're having a liver ache, and my brain is blowing out,
-Quickly and no talking, -What do you mean, quickly?
First, I'm not going to drink, especially with you,
Tolik, we have company,
-What company? -Out, quickly,
Where are we going?
Who are they?
The Journalist Trade Union, Biriukov says hi,
Hi!
-Would you like to call someone else? -Be quiet!
Come here!
Come on!
What shall we do now?
Don't even think about it!
Please, I beg you, Just 10 minutes, is all,
Please, you should understand me,
Only two songs, Is it so hard?
Vera, come on, I beg you,
-I'm Andrey! -Sorry, Andrey,
Damn, let us change, ok?
We have a plane to catch, Don't bug me,
You have a plane, and I…
Be quiet, Wait a sec, Igor, get him out of here…
-Please, get out, -Wait, You misunderstood me,
Learn to work and behave properly,
But listen… We have worked,
There are two entrances and no exits, What are we going to do now?
-Look for the third one, -Where?
Quiet!
We got a little lost,
Vera, please, The birthday girl is ready to double your fee,
Vera! God, I'm so glad you've agreed!
I love you so much, Come on, Let's go,
Guys! The party goes on,
Everything will be okay!
Sweetie, give it to me, Vera! Mother! Come on,
Go, Yurii Ivanovich, Hello,
-Sing, -You're Verka Serdiuchka, You sing,
-I can't, -I'm your mother, I know better,
Everyone must dance! It's an order!
Mr, Mukhin, maybe you don't need this loan after all,
The President is not here,
The laws haven't been adopted,
The laws have been adopted, he's in Rada,
He will come here for dinner,
Listen, I want to hear this from the President personally,
Do you want me to call the President right now?
-Yes, -This very moment?
-Yes, -No problem,
Sergey, I can't talk right now, I'm busy,
You don't need to talk to me, You will be talking to Mr, Otto…
Adelweindsteiner,
Ja?
Guten Abend, Adel… Badel…
-Sorry, I don't speak German, -We can speak Ukrainian,
Okay, Goodbye,
I don't think the President is in Rada right now,
-He's at some party, -What party?
-Didn't you hear the song? -It's not a song,
This is the anthem,
which is performed after the approval of every law,
We're leaving,
-Hi, -Hi there,
We've warmed up the audience, Go on,
I thought my afterlife would be different,
Yes!
-Where is Tolik? -It's his job, Everything will be fine,
Come on!
Speed up!
-Yurii Ivanovich, there are cops, -How can these hipsters help?
Push away the thugs with their selfie sticks?
I'm a Doctor of Science, I'm a winner of Shevchenko prizes,
I know Merkel personally, I know Dalai Lama and Clinton,
And what am I doing? Wandering in the back of the beyond,
Riding a stupid van with a shaggy wheel,
Wearing women's tights, accompanied by some teacher,
Who could've predicted I'd call all those goblins with only one call?
-I made a mistake, -Just one?
-Okay, two mistakes, -Are you counting?
Do you want to earn a certain number of failures?
Why are you grumbling like an old woman? Stop it,
Where are we going, anyway?
Yurii Ivanovich! They've caught up with us,
-Go faster, -I'm going at full throttle!
-Where are you going? -To the bridge!
-There's no bridge! -There is! I opened it,
You opened nothing but expensive wine!
I was the mayor of Zaporizhzhia,
-Then I'm surprised the city survived, -There is a bridge,
-I want fries, -What do fries have to do with this?
Well, I have the right for one wish before I die,
-There is a bridge, -I want fries!
If you didn't steal, we could've been saved,
Do you want to talk about it?
-Let's go, -I know what to do,
-Are you comfortable, Vasily Petrovich? -I'm fine,
-They are catching up, -I can see that,
Don't you want to do something?
What can I do? If I had a gun, I'd shoot at them,
What do you want me to do? Throw cakes at them?
Grisha, are you on the yacht?
They have lost their minds with this decommunization,
CONSTIPATION
Stop! I'm the guarantor of the Constitution!
I swore to love my people,
But I can love seven people less,
Back off!
All right,
Vasily Petrovich! Stop showing off, Jump!
Grisha, ahead full speed!
You have no conscience,
What have you been taught at school, you thugs?
We've had a good time,
I can't remember when we have last gathered like this,
-At Yura's funeral, -Yes, it was terrible indeed,
We thank the host for the warm reception,
It's not as warm as Vasia's in Zaporizhzhia,
-Bye, -Thank you,
Say hi to Odessa, I'm going to relax tomorrow too,
Moose hunting with my faction,
What moose?
-Tomorrow Rada will vote for the PM, -Is it tomorrow?
Tomorrow is indeed a historic day, Especially for our historian,
Hopefully it won't take us long like the last time,
No, we'll act according to our agreement,
According to our agreement, What was the agreement?
We'll elect the Prime Mister and dump the President,
Tomorrow?
-Bye, -Bye,
Wait, I don't understand,
Tomorrow we are electing the PM,
I understand this, And dumping Goloborodko,
-But when will I hunt the moose? -After we elect the Prime Minister!
Vasilisa Petrovna, aren't the tights itchy?
Maybe you should change,
Or are you stuck to your female image?
Come down here,
Here you go,
Be careful, It's your size,
It's inappropriate, These are some stranger's things,
Why some stranger's?
-Whose yacht is this? -It's my friend's,
-Who is this? Cousteau? -Yes, my friend Cousteau,
Why are your photos everywhere?
Because Cousteau loved and respected me,
Come on, change,
What a nice weather,
-Don't you want to swim? -I want to drown,
As you wish, I would dive with pleasure,
Wow!
A bowtie, boxers, The President who hasn't been given the loan,
I suggest drinking to you without clinking glasses,
Oh, stop it,
Thank you, You'd better think about what to do now,
What to do? You're going to Kakhovka, I'm going to Capri,
What a nice captain we have, Hands of gold,
Treat yourself, Morning take,
A shrimp in a river? How?
We have a rich country,
Look at this hat, He's a master of origami,
Stop,
You've asked me what to do,
You need to go to the capital urgently to congratulate the new Prime Minister,
Rada will vote for Karasiuk tomorrow,
-How? -I think, unanimously,
They've taken advantage of my absence and pushed their Karasiuk through,
Vasily Petrovich, you have nothing to do with this,
Tomorrow it will be two months,
-What two months? -You amaze me, You're like a kid,
-I'd better go have a swim, -What two months?
Have you read the Constitution? I don't think so,
If the parliament fails to elect the Prime Minister
within two months, it can be what?
What?
It can be dissolved!
So, I can make the council vote for the laws
under the threat of dissolution?
-Bravo! -That's brilliant!
Why are you so glad?
Do you know how to break up the voting for Karasiuk?
-No, I don't, -Too bad,
That would have solved all the problems,
Then forget about it and go to Capri with me,
He's not answering his phone,
-Hello, -Hello, Vasia, where are you?
-I'm in Capri, I'm on a yacht, -Good for you,
Anyway, I don't care where you are, on the Moon or wherever,
If you don't come to the business dinner before 22:00,
I promise to break the diplomatic relations with Germany,
Uganda and South Korea, and to return to performing,
-Do you get it? -Sergey, calm down,
I will come, I promise, I will personally apologize to Mr, Adel… vadent,
It's easy to pronounce, Adelweinsteiner,
Adelweinsteiner,
-To him, too, -Thanks a lot,
Thank God, there will be one day without alcohol and round dancing,
Yurii Ivanovich! I don't know where you're rushing to,
but I need to go to Lviv,
-At what time does Rada convene? -Tomorrow at 15:00,
Call Mukhin and tell him we need one more day,
-Where are we going? -I am going to Odessa,
Now ask me altogether where the President is,
No! Quiet! No clapping! Quiet!
Cheers,
Test,
Is Boria in Hamburg? Tell him to call me,
Rustem Ashotovich, you have a guest,
That's interesting,
I have made myself at home, Is it okay?
I can spare some whiskey for a good person,
I need to talk to you,
Wake up, Count, Great deeds are awaiting us,
-Do we have time? -Of course, every minute is counted,
Let's have breakfast, We'll arrive soon,
You see, Ashotovich, here's the thing, I have a bad feeling,
-What feeling? -A bad feeling,
First he fires my governor, then he appoints your man,
Wait, Then all this fuss in Zaporizhzhia,
What's your conclusion?
I don't know,
But I feel like there's a trap,
Something is not right,
Yurii Ivanovich, why are you so slow? We are short of time,
Don't worry,
We're already there, Hi, Vera Borysovna!
Look who's here! Why didn't you call me, shameless?
-Mom, please don't start, -I'm starting it?
Being dead is not an excuse for not calling your mom,
Can we come in or will we tell neighbors the truth?
-Come in! -Wait, Yurii Ivanovich, Whose mom?
Whose mom? My mom,
Who is buried there? There was a gravestone,
There is no one, I just claimed a good place at a graveyard,
Mom! Mommy! I've missed you so much! We need a suit,
I knew that you came because you needed something,
Right now,
Sergey Leonidovich, how did the future PM sleep?
When your conscience is clean, your sleep soundly,
-What will your first order be? -Wait,
Don't be splitting the skin of the bear which hasn't been killed yet,
Ladies and gentlemen, we will talk after the voting,
What about your reforming program?
What are you going to do with the dollar rate?
-How do I look? -So handsome!
And the final touch,
-Yurii Ivanovich! -We have time,
-It's 14:30, -Everything is under control,
-God help us, -Don't bother Him, We'll cope on our own,
Sergey Leonidovich, why don't I see the Prime Minister among the guests?
Knock the wood, Andrey Nikolaievich, I'm entering the hall,
Why are you worrying? It's my daughter who gets married,
So come on, Finish with your business and come here,
Misha, you're delirious,
Do you think our teacher stirred up trouble on his own?
-You can also say that I helped him, -Maybe you did, I don't know,
It's better to overreact than to be careless,
You're paranoid, Misha, Paranoid,
It's possible, These days are hard,
-You know, stressful, -Everything is okay,
Rada will elect the Prime Minister soon,
And things will get better,
I declare the parliamentary session open,
Ukraine's glory has not yet died
Nor died her freedom
Dear guests, meet our beautiful bride,
Do you want an exchange?
I will give you the Ministry of Social Policy,
and you'll give me the Ministry of Industry?
I may be paranoid, Ashotych, but I'm not an idiot,
Kiss the bride!
Now you are together, You two are one,
The halves are now a whole,
A long and happy life is awaiting you,
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special guest, Welcome him,
The President of Ukraine, Vasily Petrovich Goloborodko,
Thank you, I couldn't but come, What an event,
My congratulations, dear, Mother!
My congratulations!
That's my goddaughter, She has become such a beauty,
-Do I know you? -She doesn't recognize me, She's grown up,
The bridegroom is such a strong man,
My congratulations, buddy, How do you like the surprise?
Congratulations, This is a great joy, Why are we standing silent?
Kiss the bride!
Dear members of parliament,
We are voting for the candidature of Sergey Leonidovich Karasiuk
for the post of the Prime Minister of Ukraine,
Please, vote,
Unexpectedly to everyone,
Rada failed to approve Sergey Karasiuk's candidature
for the post of the Prime Minister,
Yet another victory of the President,
Today Rada has approved the package of anti-corruption laws
Ukraine needed to get the IFM loan, with the majority of votes,
-That's it, -Yes,
-When are you going to Lviv? -In 30 minutes,
-Economy class, I hope, -Naturally,
We haven't received the loan yet,
I'm glad you stick to your principles,
My homeland is in reliable hands, So long,
-Yurii Ivanovich, -Yes?
I never thought I would tell you this,
Thank you,
You are a good man,
Not that bad,
Tolerable,
-Shall we hug? -No, That would be too much,
Ok,
Vasily Petrovich!
I won't forgive myself if I don't tell you,
Vasia, I am your Father,
I've always liked this scene from the Star Wars,
-Come visit me in Capri, -Thank you,
Be careful, electrician,
-Yurii Ivanovich, you forgot, -It's a souvenir for you,
Your passport,
Thank you for your care, I have one though,
But as the saying goes, there can't be too many passports,
Giuseppe Gravedigger,
I've always liked your subtle Armenian sense of humor,
There's no need to see me off, I will go alone,
After the necessary laws were adopted,
President Goloborodko immediately arrived in Lviv,
Together with Minister Mukhin, he went to the Pototskys' Palace,
where the signing of the agreement
with the IMF is going to start any minute now,
Frankly, we have given up on you,
But you have done your job,
Now we see no obstacles for your country to get this loan,
Thank you,
Okay, Let's talk about the additional terms,
-Okay, What are the terms? -They are standard,
A few small things that must be done,
Okay, clause 1,
The extraction of the shale gas,
-We don't have it, -You will,
But it will kill our soil, And the agriculture…
It must be curtailed to 50%, Growing of wheat - to 70%,
Agriculture is an important source to fill our budget,
I cannot even imagine the losses we will suffer,
It's okay, You will find another source, This is our second term,
A deposit for nuclear waste in Chornobyl area,
Of course, all the modern safety technologies must be kept,
If you manage to broaden the area to the boundaries of the region,
Ukraine will never have any problems,
-Life will be happy, stable… -And short,
-Wait… -It won't do,
Your "wait" costs us too much,
We have already wasted too much time on your country,
More than it is worth,
Vasily Petrovich, give it a thought,
It means big money, huge opportunities,
You will have your own party, Parliamentary majority,
A public fund, for your personal usage,
2-3% from 15 billion, I think it's not bad,
But if you need more time to think, if something is not clear…
No, Everything is clear to me,
I want to thank the head of the IMF and the members of the board
for the time they've spent with us,
And for the talk that was very rich in content,
With a feeling of deep gratitude, I want to say…
Go to hell,
And this term must be fulfilled, Am I clear enough?
We're not beggars, We're not migrant workers,
I want you to remember once and for all, We're not an outskirt,
We're not a border region between orks and elves,
We are a normal, strong, beautiful, and rich country,
The fact that we're now down on our backs is not a reason to screw us,
I am really grateful to you for opening my eyes,
Now I can see clearly
that we are indeed standing on the edge of an abyss,
But we still have a chance to become a great country,
We are the nation of open, clever, and talented people,
We must understand this,
we must understand we should respect ourselves,
be ashamed to steal, should roll up our sleeves and work hard,
instead of shouting "Shame on you!" or "It's a betrayal!"
with or without any reason…
You can't build Ukraine simply by talking,
We need to stop measuring who's more patriotic,
dividing Ukrainians into friends and foes,
On the contrary, we need to unite,
Then
the whole world, not only Ukrainians,
will say, "Glory to Ukraine!"
For now,
go to hell!