Soft piano
music,,,
Sigh – I can’t believe it, I can
not believe it ! I can not believe it,
I don't know how else to say that, It's simple, I can't believe it,
I do not believe it, I can not believe it !
I do not believe it, I can not believe it, I,,, Ah,
I do not have the words, I do not believe it, Laughs I can’t believe it,
- Well, anyway!
- No, I don't have the words, I am dejected,
No, worse than that, I'm devastated,
Literally, Now you excuse me,
Breath I have to eat,
Laughter Sigh
- Well, anyway!
- Oh no ! You know what ?
It ruined my appetite, I'm not hungry anymore,
I'm disgusted, THANKS !
- Finally,
anyway,,,
You obviously expected it a little, - No,
No way,
I know it happens at least once in a man's life,
I didn't think I would experience this, Not me, Not at my age, Not like this,
And excuse me: you couldn't tell me that at the end of the week?
- Well no, I wanted to tell you this evening,
- Ah, did you want to? - Yes,
- Madame wanted to,
You're lucky to do things you want to do, Me,,,
Now, I want lobster, It would be my pleasure,
However, what do I have on my plate? Oh? Hold !
Corn with butter, For change ! Hmm,,,
Ah, you delight me! I will feast, Enjoy your food !
And yellow is the color of cuckolds,
You did it on purpose ? - Well, not at all,
I thought I would please you, I didn't
know corn was the color of cuckolds,
Laughs - Make me happy? Well then,
So let's go, Where did you meet this idiot?
One can know ? - Stopped !
The walls are very poorly insulated, you can hear everything,
- Let me think, So, wait,
With the face he has, I'm willing to bet he's a banker,
Did you meet him at the counter?
- Serge, for heaven's sake, lower your voice,
- Excuse me, I'm still at home, right?
I say what I want, And then,,,
He's been in the toilet for three weeks, It is not normal !
- Oh, finally! Be nice,
He is ill, - That I'm nice?
He's stealing my wife, and I have to be nice?
- Yes, be nice,
He caught a terrible bacteria during a safari in Kenya,
His intestines are ravaged, It's still not funny,
- Oh ? Damn, Madeleine,,,
Here, let me summarize, it’s important,
You're making me a cuckold, which is
pretty hard to take on a Tuesday night,
Let's move on,
But what's more, you're making me
cuckold a guy who has intestinal problems!
Laughs You want me to commit
suicide, that’s not possible!
And what’s next?
Are you going to tell me you're pregnant?
- No, You understand nothing,
You're not listening to what I'm saying, That is the problem,
It's a platonic relationship,
- Well then !
-"Well, let's see", obviously,
You don't mind the cigar, that,
Well, it exists, imagine,
- Yes, It especially exists
in your stupid novels,
I knew you shouldn't read,
That's what influenced you, Oh, “platonic”!
Finally, stop!
He warned me, Fred, He told me: "Be careful,
If she starts reading romantic novels, it's
the beginning of trouble," He was right,
- I don't just read novels,
I recently subscribed to this scientific magazine,
Flush
- Well!
Not too soon ! I hope he cleaned up well,
I don't want to catch his bacteria, - Oh !
Stopped,
- Sorry, it was a bit long, - Hmm,
- Don't worry, we took the opportunity to chat,
- Oh ! Don't worry about us, come on,
We had a lot to say to each other, We don't break up every night,
I'm thinking about it,,, You want to eat something, right?
We didn't offer you anything, It's not very polite,
- I don't know,,,
Why not ? Yeah,,,
- No I do not think so,
We'll go there instead, my love, It's better,
- There's no fire, We have two minutes,
Let me share a moment with my replacement,
It's tonight or never, right?
So, open that fridge, take whatever you want, It is a pleasure,
- No, Bruno, Take your jacket, let's go,
- Well,,,
I don't know,,,
He seems nice, Let's stay 5 minutes,
- Yes, he's nice, That's not the problem,
- What ? Are you afraid we'll become friends?
- No, I don't want him to open this fridge,
- Well, that makes me happy,
I want to share a moment with my replacement,
Go ahead, Take what you want,
Move in, We're going to talk for 2 minutes
between guys, I have 2, 3 anecdotes about
your new girl, It might be useful to you,
You'll see, hm,,, It is full of surprises,
- Ha, ha,,, Very funny,
- What do I do ? Should I open the fridge or not?
- Come on, open it! It is a pleasure,
- Bruno, if you open it, I'll warn you, - What ?
- Show him you're a good man, Open it,
- I warn you,
- Open! - Don't open it!
- Hey !
Yeah ! He clears his throat,
Pardon,
Sorry to interrupt point blank,
It's not right, I realize that,
I'm quick so I don't bother too much,
Good evening, already,
My name is Yannick, So,
Um, I'm speaking up because, well,,,
Take it pretty well, but for me, It's not entertaining, the show,
Laughs Sorry to throw
that in your face like that,
I guess that's not pleasant to hear,
Since I paid for something that takes my mind off things,,,
I'm supposed to feel good here,
Here, I definitely have the impression that it's the opposite,
You're adding to my problems instead of making me forget mine,
This must not be normal, normal,
There's a glitch in your story,
- Anything !
- You don't realize, Sir,
but in fact, there, that doesn't happen at all,
- So, I know,
I apologize again,
It's just that I organized myself to
make myself available this evening,
I am a night watchman, I work 7 days a week,
I have to take a day off,
You probably don't know what that
entails, but it's complicated, I can't do it often,
I have to ask my boss for a piece of paper,
I have to ask a colleague to replace me,
All this organization means that if I take
a day off to have fun, I have to have fun,
Otherwise, it's downright catastrophic on my scale,
I'm not saying you're doing it on purpose, You are that,,,
the comedians,
It's not your fault,
There must be someone responsible behind this, I guess,
A director, right? - Yes, Finally,,,
The author of the play, incidentally, - Yes,
I should talk to him, That would be more sensible,
Can you ask him to come and explain my problem quickly?
- We're going to make it simpler: I give you his phone,
you go out, you call him, you tell him your salads,
And we can get back to work, OK ?
- Wait, is this a joke? He is not here ?
- But no, - The guy who organizes all this
isn't there to make sure you're doing your job well?
- What ?
- Wait, sir, That is,,, - No wait !
It's normal for your thing to fail, If the captain isn't here,,,
What is this management?
- You're the one who's ruining everything, We were doing well,
- This piece, we will play it 60 times at least,
The director can't always be there, It doesn't happen like that,
- So, we are among the crazy,
What is this bite-the-knot company?
Can you imagine a restaurant without its cook?
- No, but the heaviness,,,
- No, it's not the same at all, Laugh
- Oh yes ! Customers pay for a service,
If the service is not satisfactory, you
should be able to complain to a manager,
Imagine, in a brasserie, I get
some meat, I find hair on my plate,
What do I do if there is no cook?
It doesn't mean anything anymore, - You know what ?
We understood your metaphor,
But it's not the same for us,
We make a scene, It's art,
- Art ? - It's not a piece of meat,
OK ? Laugh - She's
good, Art, really?
Discreet laughter from the audience
Laughter I didn't pay to see art,
I don't know who you take me for, A minister ?
I pay to change my mind, It has nothing to do with it, It's not,,,
Besides, what is art? I'm not going to start philosophizing,
We are all artists if we take the time,
I too can draw fruit on a kitchen
table, if I can afford to hang out at home,
- It's good ! Stop, we're going to stop,
There, you really are stupid,
You can't ruin everyone's evening with a monologue,
So, if you don't like the piece, you walk
out, we'll give you a refund, there's no
problem, but you get out, actually, - Yes !
- It would be too easy to reimburse me,
I took a day off to come here,
The 16 euros for the ticket is one thing,
But for me, my whole evening is ruined,
- Han, -You won't pay that back,
You don't realize that
people's time is precious,
I don't have 50 days off,
I can't afford to burn
a cartridge to attend,,,
this disaster, Especially if it bothers me,
- Good ! It's okay, dammit! - What ?
-It's okay, we understand, You're not happy, Good !
Why bother us? She's right, you're heavy,
- How long did it take you to come, out of curiosity?
- What the hell? - I explain to you,
It took me 45 minutes by public transport,
Since I live in Melun,
Plus 15 minutes of walking, All right ?
I'll spare you the calculation, The bill is very salty,
Not counting the return, so I have to multiply by two,
-That's your problem,
- And no one cares, sorry!
- Yes, but that's to explain my frustration,
- I think the message got through,
- So, But I tell you,,,
The most problematic thing is,,,
I feel worse than before I came in here,
This is why I am allowing myself to speak,
Already, I have a shitty life,
I don't feel at my best, in my best
psychological shape at the moment,
I can't accept that a show that's supposed
to cheer me up has the opposite effect,
Sorry, but it doesn't work,
It's not possible for me, There's no way, sorry,
- Yes, but that's subjective,
We can't do anything about it, - Subjective?
- Yes, Laugh
- He opens it to say big words?
Laughs Hey! “Subjective”
works both ways,
It's subjective to believe the show is worthwhile,
- Well, uh,,, - Oh dear,
- Oh yeah,,,
- We'll stop, right?
- No, we don't stop for a guy, We continue,
- We continue,
- Do you feel like starting again? No kidding ?
- Yes, - Yes, we continue,
It's like an intermission,
We do not care, We don't let ourselves be taken down, - Here we go,
- Hold on ! - We take back,
- You don't understand,
- It's good ! - They're going to make me freak out, Ho!
Are you listening to me here, or am I pissing on a violin?
There's no way this will continue, Do you want to torture me?
Your shit doesn't make me feel good, How should I tell you?
- Sir, what do you want us to do?
- Well, play something else, - Pardon ?
- You play something else, Something less artistic,
You know other texts,
This is your domain, -It doesn't happen like that,
We're not musicians, We don't play songs on request,
There are six months of rehearsals for this show, At least,
Where did this guy come from? Who is it ?
Where does he come from? - I don't know,
- From Melun, I told you,
Listen when people talk,
- I'd rather say that you're coming from a bad city,
- No, Melun, in 77,
- He answers, too,
- I find it really easy
to judge, in fact, Even if you don't like
it, you have to respect the work of others,
No one criticizes your way of being a night watchman, right?
-That, madam, is not likely,
I'm all alone in the parking lot,
Little laugh I know the job is well done,
No theft, no damage in 3 years,
The work is well done, It's certified,
They, on the other hand,,, I'm sorry, I'm not an expert,
If I feel bad looking at
the play, it must be shit,
Don't you think so?
- No, but wait,,, - Get out,
- Yeah, come on, Fire him, this bastard, - For what ?
- Get out, - For what ?
- It was very fun,
but here you have exceeded the limits,
We don't care about your stories, You are not alone,
You go out, - Can't stand criticism?
- Pardon ? - We must think you're brilliant?
- I tolerate criticism, but not during the play,
You are sabotaging, It's intolerable,
Get out before I get mad for good,
- What I said, don't you care? - I really don't care,
It's not funny, but that's how it is,
Now you clear the trail, Come on !
- That's not very nice,,,
I'm taking a day off, 45 minutes
of transportation, 15 minutes of
walking to come see you on purpose,
You kick me out like a tramp, - Shut up !
You're driving us to pieces with your endless sentences,
- Cleared ! Poor guy,
- Can I at least have my locker room back?
- Get over it! - Hey! Well,,,
Blow the cow!
-How are you ?
- No one had ever done it to me,
I swear,
Groaning "Oh, well,,,
I traveled 45 minutes,
"15 minutes on foot,"
Laughs The nightmare! No ?
,,,
Oh ! The other,,,
,,,
So, wait, Where were we?
- So, - THANKS,
- Didn't you stay long? Didn’t you like it?
Laughter Applause - Are
they applauding there?
- Yes,
,,,
-"Oh, well,,, I asked for time off,
“My boss has to sign a paper,”
Laughs - "The show
doesn't cheer me up, either,"
Laugh - Um, where were
we? Let's start again, come on,
- We were in the fridge, - That's it,
- Let's start at the beginning, for energy?
- No, we're not starting from the beginning, Let go,
- When I open it? - A little before,
- Oh? OK,
- Come on ! - Uh,,, ladies and gentlemen,
It’s not easy to get back into it,
Be a little lenient, OK ?
Laugh Come on,
Here we go ? - Here we go,
"And then, imagine, we are going to the restaurant,
“You order meat, “and then
there’s a hair on the plate,”
Laughter - Stop,
How are you ? We concentrate, otherwise we won't succeed,
-How are you,,, - Get into position,
- Hey !
Actually, I thought about it,
I don't agree with what happened,
- He has a gun! He has a gun,
- I can't digest it,
What's my name again?
- Eh ?
- I'm talking to you, the actors,
Was there at least one who had the
elegance to remember my first name?
No ?
There you are, you don't give a
damn that you didn't listen to me,
-Patrick? - No,
Well tried, No way,
It's Yannick, I said it in the preamble,
Yannick,
In Hebrew, it means: “God is gracious,”
I saw this recently on Google,
Funny, that! "God bless,"
- Sir ? Yannick?
I'm sorry for yelling at you,
But it wasn't meant to hurt you at all,
- Oh! - Or something else, It's just that,,,
I had to manage a difficult situation for us and the public,
You can put your weapon away, It's not necessary,
- My friend, you had to think first,
The gun is in my hand, It's on,
You are witnesses, I have,,,
Kindly, I tried to open a dialogue,
Politely, too,
But the gentleman preferred to get on his
high horse and fire me, This is the result,
It's not my fault, Stay seated,
I'm warning you, I'm not a sniper, but parking attendant,
I don't know how to use this thing well,
The shot can go off at any time,
So,
You are informed,
Good !
We're going to play a little game,
Did anyone come with their laptop?
Someone came straight from
the office with their computer,
Where are the
bureaucrats hiding tonight?
- I have a PC, - A what ?
- A PC, a laptop,
- Is that a computer? - Yes,
- Then say "computer",
Why are you going to invent a stupid term?
Does your device have battery?
- Normally yes, - You're cute, Bring him to me,
I prefer to warn,
There's one who calls the cops or who tries
a Trafalgar stunt to put obstacles in my
way, I don't hesitate, I kill him directly,
Hold ! What is my name ?
- Yannick,
- You see when you want,
It's crazy, You need a gun to be respected,
What world do we live in?
My my my ! No kidding,
- It lights up, - Cleared,
SO,,,
What is this shit? It asks me for a password,
- It's normal,
You must type the password, - I'm listening to you,
-"Vaginal",
- Eh ?
- Sorry, Actually, It started from a joke with a colleague,
I didn't think I'd say it out loud,
- Are there only degenerates in the room?
What is this crooked password?
How do you write that?
-"GO,,,"
- Gently ! Not get excited, I'm not a typist,
“V”, yeah, -"HAS",
-“V-A”, what? -"G",
-G,,,
-"I",
-"I", “Vagi”, yeah,
-“N-A-L”,
"Vaginal", Anything,,,
Paf! Entrance,
It's good, It seems to work,
- It doesn't start quickly, He is old,
- I'm on leave, I do not care, I've got plenty of time,
- What are we doing ? - I resume
Control, I'll show you what I use to heat myself,
You shouldn't provoke me,
- Control of what? Shout
- Brigitte Bardot, you are stressing me out, Don't stay behind,
Ho! I don't want anyone behind me, All right ?
You stay calm, I'm cool, but,,,
It could go wrong at any time,
All right ?
It's good, it seems to work,
I can't believe it, the wallpaper
is a girl on all fours in panties,
You have a problem in your pants,
Look,
Laugh ,,,
Whore,,, OK its not a big deal,
So, wait,,,
Do you have software to create text in your machine?
- There is a small icon at the bottom left,
with written "Word", It's word processing,
Just click, It will open,
- At the bottom left, Where is it ?
I can't even imagine how many times you looked at yourself in the photo,
Nervous laughter
Yannick's laughter She's
a minor, too, right?
- No, - Ah, forget it,
Just imagining it disgusts me,
So, OK,,, Small icon at the bottom left, I see,
All right, I click,,, It doesn't matter, It does not work,
- You have to click twice very quickly,
-It annoys me, Come and help me,
Mr, Subjective, - Yes,
- With your head to know how to handle computers,
Open the software for me,
Gently ! I'm on adrenaline, Go calmly,
Don't be a joker, - No, I'm not acting funny at all,
Uh,,,
So, It's good,
- Give me a blank page that I can write on,
- Hm hmm,
So, “new document”,
Breath
And presto!
It's good, It's ready, - There, can I write?
- Yes, If you type, it appears on the page,
It's simple, - OK,
- It's like a typewriter, To correct, you press there,
- Don't talk about your life, Don't get drunk,
You have jackal breath,
Unsustainable,
Cleared,
Laugh
I promise you, Infamous,
Amused sigh
So,,, Good!
OK, We are ready, This is what is happening,
I explain to you,
So, Mr, Great Actor, present on
my left,,, What's your name again?
Nervous laughter
- Paul Rivière,
So, the great actor you see there, who was not in very good
shape this evening, we can say it, kindly took me down,
telling me that I understood nothing about the artistic,
You heard ? All while
yelling as if I were his dog,
I'm schematizing, but that's
pretty much what happened,
So here is, From my point of view, I
am convinced that he was playing shit,
Sorry, that's a sweeping judgment, But it's sincere,
I expressed it, And that's what caused our little disagreement,
Am I right or not ?
- Yes, - It is more or less that,
- So, So now, my intention,
It’s about fixing all that,
Despite appearances, I am a positive person, deep down,
Even if things aren't going well at the moment, and I said it,
I keep my head held high and I
prefer to take the bull by the horns
rather than let myself be defeated,
The bull here, in this case, is this bad
piece that I allowed myself to interrupt,
You get the metaphor,
So what am I going to do now?
It is very simple,
I'm going to sit here for a while with this computer,
that the other pervert kindly lent me over there,
I'm going to write a new show that will prove to
everyone that a parking attendant is also capable
of delivering something that is more entertaining
than the lukewarm soup that we were experiencing,
There are still 15 minutes,
So, I'm going to write a new text
that they will play, as best they can,
We hope,
And it will cheer us all up and do us good,
That way, we will return home with a little balm in our hearts,
Because that’s what we all came to look for,
Balm to the heart,
So, OK here we go,
Here, give me a
cigarette, It'll help me think,
- Well, I,,,
-It's obvious that you smoke, You have bad skin,
I am wrong ?
He whispers, - It's my character who smokes,
- Yes yes, That's it,
I observe people well,
Go ahead, You light it for me and put it in my mouth,
I do not drag you, Don't worry, you risk nothing,
I'm not going to bite you,
So,
SO !
I'm going for it,
Cough
He inhales then exhales,
I'm going for it,
Inspiration
Dark piano music
,,,
,,, He mutters,
,,,
He sniffs,
,,,
He clears his throat,
Squeaking
seat,,,
- Yannick? - Wait, don't cut me off,
I am in an inspiration,
Don't distract me, A second,,,
,,,
Inaudible
Yes ? Do you have a pressing desire?
- No way, It's just that in fact,
as I see that you tend to write slowly,,,
Well,,, Yeah, slowly,
It's normal, you don't know,,,
Throat clearing either the keyboard or,,,
I type very quickly, Because,,,
I'm not just an actress,
I also write stuff at home, I write,,,
And so, I type quickly, And,,,
So, if you want,,,
Um, you tell me what you want
to write, and I'll type for you, And,,,
- Do you take me for a Mongolian? You're trying to confuse me here,
- Well no, It's,,, I,,, I don't take you for,,,
- I'll get there on my own,
I need someone, I manage,
You leave me alone, Everyone !
If anyone needs to relieve their bladder, or
something else, I don't want to know, you're on your own,
Do this in a corner, on the floor, It's not a problem,
So,
Subject closed,
And I resume,
He sniffs,
,,,
He clears his throat,
,,,
- Sir ? Yannick?
- I won't make it if you cut me off
every 30 sec, What ?
- I understand your approach, I find that positive, Courageous, even,
I promise you, But that's not realistic,
- What ? - We could meet again another day,
Sigh Without
that gun, already,
We go to a bar, we exchange ideas,
We may have plenty of things to bring to each other,
- Yes,,,
- But this hostage taking, it's inhumane,
- Already, my guy,
you go down a notch, Do you think we're going to become friends?
- No,,, - Anything!
We won't see each other again, I have not nothing else to do,
That's the first thing,
For the hostage-taking, it's exactly
the same as when you play your stupid
vaudeville on stage, People, they must
stay seated, shut their mouths, applaud,
wait until the end to get up,
It’s also a hostage-taking,
Meditate on this while I work,
This might make you think a little,
Now you leave me alone,
,,,
Laugh
,,,
Zipper
,,,
(-What's going on there?)
(-The guy has a gun, He's completely crazy,)
(-What ?) (-It’s a hostage taking,)
- What ? But damn,,,
- Hey ! What are you doing here?
- Nothing,
Finally, I wondered why,,, It's very late,
- You're going to tire me out,
I've already explained everything, You just had to be there,
Go find a printer in your office,
I need it,
- Well,,,
- There are definitely offices!
- Um yes, There's an office, - There is definitely
a printer, Bring it,
- All right, - And be very careful,
If you try to call the cops, I'll shoot someone randomly,
- All right,
- Quickly ! Bring back some paper,
Slam - Pardon,,,
,,,
Groan
,,,
Smash,,,
,,,
Groan
,,,
- Hello ! What is this machine?
Haven't you found a bigger one yet?
- Sorry,,,
Where do I put it, sir? - Put that there on the table,
AIE Aie Aie,,,
Breathing heavily Do you
know how it connects, at least?
- I think I need to find a cable to extend it,,,
- Don't get drunk
with the technical problems and make your connection,
- Pardon, - I am concentrated,
SO,,,
,,,
,,,Rumble of
the machine,,, ,,,
She's turbine, the machine, there, There's some flow there, Wow!
Jules Verne would have had that at home, the books came out in 10 minutes,
Squeezed laughter Crazy
progress, when you think about it,
- Yeah,
- Eh ?
You don't care, right?
- No, - Yes, I see clearly,
You're too young, Go sit back down,
You're no longer of any use, Thank you for your help,
So come over here, three clowns, Come closer,
Be careful, don't get me wrong, I say “clowns” with
fondness, I went to the circus as a kid with my parents,
Both are dead, it brings back good memories,
So this is it,
Everyone has their own text, Hop,
If the sheets are out of order, there are numbers,
put them back in the right direction, deal with it,
So, the cast: you are the doctor,
You, the patient, You, the nurse,
- No, - What ?
Isn't that good, nurse? Do you need a surgeon? It's what ?
- No, that's not it, it's,,,
We are in a kitchen setting, - It doesn't matter,
Forget, People are going to stretch your imagination, we're
going to be in a clinic, It's going to be magical, No problem,
Well, you read to each other in a corner, quietly,
Repeat, warm up as desired,
As soon as it's ready, you call me, I'll come back and give directions,
It's good ? Go to work,
Up to you, Let's go,
- Are we really experiencing this?
- Uh,,, - I do not believe it,
It's incredible, - You have to jump on him,
- Pardon ?
- You have to jump on him, make him squirt in the face!
- Are you crazy or what? - No, you have to do what he says,
- Whore ! Bunch of sissies!
There are 2 of you, you can destroy it, -It's too scary, The gun, there!
-It's okay, no, you let it go,
- Hey ! We calm down during low masses,
I do not like that, - No no !
We learn the text,
- I do not care, Don't learn by heart, We're not in kindergarten,
Play with the leaves, I don't care,
- Great, that will simplify things a lot,
- We do it like that,
- Sorry for the setback, I hope it's not too long,
Are you having a good evening?
- Well,,,
- Yes, I am fine,
- Yeah,
You are together ?
- Yeah, - Yes,
- That's right,
I too had a good wife, over time, but hey,,,
With work, it wasn't,,,
the ideal, what, To see each other, and all that,
She was painful,
Hmm,
What do you do in life ?
- We have our own driving school,
- Oh! It's funny, You give driving lessons, right?
- No, we're chatting,,, - We're the bosses, really,
We run the store, - OK,
That pays off, It's a good business,
-Yes I'm fine, - Yeah,,,
- We're not rolling in gold, - No, but we're not complaining,
- Don't complain,
As they say, in life, we take what we can take,
Laugh
That’s it, eh!
Eh yes ! Yes, - I agree,
- So, what is it, I imagine, you spend the days together
in the driving school? - Yeah,
- Yes, - Hmm,
- It's not tiring for the couple, to see each other all day
and also meet up in the evening?
- No, it's a rhythm,
How are you, - Yeah,
- Then we are still in love, - Yes,
- That's cute,
What did I mean,,,
So, must it happen to you that you sometimes do little
naughty things in the back room during off-peak hours?
- No, - There's not really a back room,
-That must have happened once?
- No I think not,
- And we're not often alone, in addition,
There are employees,,, - Then it's not really our thing,
- Not your thing?
It's everyone's thing, mating, It's universal,
He's laughing,
Caress her thighs to see,
- Pardon ? - Touch your wife a little,
Show how you do it in private, I'm interested,
I'm kidding !
He believed me, Oh !
I'm not a weirdo, I say that to lighten the mood,
- Ah OK,
- Yeah, I'll leave you alone, It made me happy to,,,
to chat a little with you,
Good evening,
- Good evening, - THANKS,
- Very nice, I'll remember it,
Very nice,
So, my little guy! Stay with us, we'll start again,
- Sorry,
- You are tired ? - No, it's okay, I dozed off,
- That's not normal at your age, It's the old people who fall asleep,
Even your mother, she stands up, It’s 11:30 p,m, What do you have ?
- Nothing,
- You really are his mother, aren't you? - Yes yes,
- I am wary, We have to be careful what we say on these subjects,
We see some slightly odd couples, in our time,,,
Who do you see?
Ouch, ouch, ouch,,, Okay, so
what is this fatigue? What's wrong ?
- Nothing, How are you, - He takes pills,
- Eh ? - No, I say,
he is tired from the painkillers, He is chronically anxious,
- How does this story come about?
- Well, we don't know, They don't know, - It’s disabling, that,
for a kid, I guess, It must not be,,,
- A little yes,
- Maybe it's you who's making him anxious, with your big glasses,
- Well,,, - No not at all,
- No, but I'm joking, No one gets my humor or what,
This evening ? I go from one thing
to another, What is happening ?
Otherwise, were you able to see the show, or did you sleep throughout?
- No, no, I saw,
- A little ? What did you think before I intervened? Did you like it?
- No not too much, Ugh, - Oh!
That reassures me, thank you, It wasn't good,
- The actors are not bad, I think, - Not bad ?
- Yeah, - Hold on,,,
Are these your pills? Does it distort your perception of reality?
Embarrassed
laughter Are you high?
- No it is not possible,
- I don't play that, It’s too much shit,
- And the French mistakes!
- We do not care, We do it, it doesn't matter,
- Yes, it's serious! We're going to look like puppets, damn it!
We must act, - I don't want to die,
- Die of what? We don't know if it's a real gun,
- I admit, we don't know,
- Of course it's a fake gun, He's a poor guy!
Look at him,
Indistinct conversation - He puts
the public squarely in his pocket,
I'm hallucinating!
- It's unbearable,
- Paul, listen to me, If you get us out of here, I'll sleep with you,
- What ? Hold on,,, - I promise you,
If you get us out of there, you sleep with me, whatever you want:
from the front, from behind, upside down,,, but neutralize this guy,
- Hey ! - What ?
- You're not well, you! - I don't give a damn anymore,
- Hold on,,,
Is it unimaginable to sleep with me for nothing?
- It's to motivate you, - OK,
- I don't have any money, So I tell you:
you sleep, you fuck me, but you get us out of there,
There ! He is from the back, You have to jump on him now,
- Ah good !
- We got the tickets from a friend, We didn't pay,
- Yeah, - You agreed
with what I said, anyway, at the beginning?
- We didn't really ask ourselves the question, I don't know,
- No,,, We don't have a critical eye,
- But we understand, You traveled 45 minutes,
- And 15 minutes of walking,
It's a lot,
- So, So, obviously, you are more demanding than us,
- We live next door, so it doesn't matter, - So,
- Oh yeah ?
There, you slip in some information, It doesn't fall on deaf ears,
Uh, how to say,,,
Is there any way I can sleep at your place, if we don't finish too late?
- Well,,,
No, but we don't live together, actually, - No,
- I do not care, At one or the other,
That way, I don't worry about missing the train, It's easier,
- For me, it's a two-piece,
There's not really any,,, - Well yes, you have your little convertible,
- The what ? - Your sofa bed in the living room?
- You have a bigger apartment, - It's not the same, I'm not alone,
There's my cat, - It's good,,,
- So what ? - He is complicated,
- Don't bother with your excuses, You don't want me, no problem,
I don't dream of seeing your dirty socks!
Let's calm down, you chicks, OK?
Okay, so, isn't there someone generous
here this evening who would agree to put me up?
That way, I don't worry about missing the last train,
- Me, - Oh!
- If you stop your bullshit right away
and if you let everyone out,
I'll lend you a maid's room,
- You already spoke badly to me,
Where do you impose your conditions?
What I have in my hand are the
keys to your country house, if I want,
I do what I want, - Ask nothing, then,
- What ?
- No need to ask! If you know
that you can do whatever
you want with this gun,
there's no point in asking,
- You're not wrong, Why am I bothering, after all?
I'm going to sleep at your place, on your sofa bed,
-I do not mind, In truth, I'm sure you're not bad,
-Obviously, You see me in a special light,
but I'm a cream, otherwise, Don't worry,
I just don't like cats,
If you could lock him in a room, he wouldn't bother me,
- She's the one who has a cat, - Yeah,
- Ah, it's good ! Perfect, OK, Deal, then,
Come on, go for the clic-clac!
Embarrassed laughter He laughs,
- A case settled! Excellent,
All you need to do is find someone for a good
meal, This could become the best evening of my life!
Laughs I like the
turn it’s taking,
You, over there, have a good face,
Eh ?
- Good evening,
-Would you like to take me out for a bite to eat afterwards? Cool?
- Why not, But it's already late, Everything will be closed,
- We are in Paris, We're going to find a tavern or I don't know what,
- It's not easy in this neighborhood,
- Ah good ?
- Le Pied de Cochon is open, - Eh ?
- Le Pied de Cochon, near Les Halles, They serve all night,
- Since we know your weird password,
We don’t need your culinary advice,
Laughs Le Pied de
Cochon, that suits him well,
The pig who gets off, yeah!
,,,
Don't worry, we'll find something,
Even an Arabic sandwich, I'm not difficult,
- Oh! A kebab? - Yeah,
- Yeah, we can find that, I think,
- There is always a solution, You say no without thinking,
There are lots of people like that, it drives me crazy,
You have to say yes first, Not no,
Even if it means making mistakes, often, - Sir ? Yannick?
We can talk ?
He's laughing,
I got so into my thing, I forgot about it,
AIE Aie Aie,
We are so good, getting to know each other, I skipped all this mess to deal with,
- We can talk ? - What's the matter ?
Give me some context, Are you ready ?
- There's something wrong, - What ?
You don't like my text?
- No, The text is very good,
- Tell me if you don't like it, I'm not going to get offended,
I'm not going to the Oscars with it, no problem,
- Uh,,,
I don't really know how to say that, actually,
It's weird that you're sympathizing with
the public while we're being held hostage,
- Eh ? - Yeah,
This puts us in a very unpleasant position,
Humiliating, You understand ?
Either you rob everyone,,, Why not, You are armed,
Either you rob no one, and that's another
option, but you can't rob some of the people,
There's something wrong, It doesn't work like that,
- You're cerebral, What are you talking to me about?
Who am I not pointing at? - Well, the public,
You just have fun with them,
It's super ambiguous,
- Stopped, - It's ambiguous,
- It's you who is ambiguous, to whisper to me,
I speak out loud! What the hell does that matter to you?
I still laugh with whoever I want, right?
- Yes of course, No, I'll explain this differently,
Do you want us to play properly? - Yes,
- That people have a good time? - Yes,
- Do you want us to go home with peace of mind?
- This is the ambition of the project, perfectly,
- If you want the project to work, very important,
people need to be on
our side, not your side,
On our side, That's very important,
- Hmm, - You understand ?
Because otherwise, it won't work,
You understand ?
- OK, I got it,
Are you jealous because people like me?
Paul La Rivière is jealous,
- Oh!
- Give that back to me, - Oh, I fucked you!
- You screwed nobody, Give it back to me, - Yes, he screwed you,
- You're less smart,
Eh ? Huh, it's more like earlier now,
He's laughing,
Did you believe what I told you, poor fool?
-This is going to end badly, Give it back to me,
- Of course, He's charged ?
It's a real ? - Shoot, you'll see,
- He's charged ?
- You don't know how to hold it properly, Give that back to me, you'll hurt yourself,
- Poor bastard!
Nobody calculates you, without your thing, Look at,
No one cares about you,
- I know, No need to be dismissive,
Give it to me, - Stopped,
Poor bell, You don't know what to say anymore,
"Give it to me,"
"Give it to me !" You're 8 and a half years old, actually?
Eh ? What are you going to do ?
- It's simple, You will calm down, you're going to give me back my gun,
and you're going to play my show, This is what is planned,
- Of course,
Never seen such shit, It's written with your feet!
- As your colleague says, it's subjective,
- Shut your mouth ! You shut your mouth, Raise your hands,
Survey, - Like in cowboy movies?
- Yeah, I'm a cowboy, Raise your hands,
Yannick laughs,
- It's like: "Hands up, rabbit skin",,,
- Shut your mouth ! Stopped, Shut your mouth,
Lie down on the ground, Get on the ground!
- For what ? - We would do better
to call the cops, right? - What ?
- I manage, OK ? You leave me, - No but,,,
It's weird what you're doing, - He is right,
- Did you have the balls to intervene?
No, you didn't get them,
You didn't move, I was the one who took the risks, You leave me,
OK ? He blows,
- No but,,, - Wait!
Whore !
We've been under pressure for 2 hours,
I did a heroic act, I don't know how,
I'm not allowed to unload 2 seconds, just to please myself?
No ? Well shut your mouth,
- Boy, come back down, Don't yell at your partners, You're going to give us a heart attack,
- I'll make one if I want, It's me who decides,
Now you get on the ground, I won't repeat it 45 times, Down,
- Be specific, at least, How ? Lying down? Sat ? What ?
Gunshot - Come on!
You get on the ground!
- It's good, I am on all fours, There's no point in getting upset like that,
- Ah,,, Ah, you're good there, Eh ?
Eh ? Look at me,
Do you know what you're going to do?
You're going to bark, Go ahead, bark, Like a little dog,
- But no,,,
That's embarrassing now, - What ?
What's the matter ?
Can't I lower it for 2 seconds to please myself?
Are you all going to come to his defense?
The guy has been terrorizing us for 2 hours! Oh !
And everyone loves it?
- No, we don't love it,,, - What is it?
- I was right, You're jealous, actually!
He's laughing,
- Stopped,
I can't take it anymore,
Don't you see that you're the only one who laughs at your jokes?
“45 mins walk, 15 mins walk,” You're taking me
out through the holes, buddy! I can't take it anymore!
I can't take it anymore!
Lick the ground,
- No, There you go off the rails, You're showing your dark side there,
It's not good, mind you,
- Lick the floor immediately, - Hold on,,,
Think about the audience, What will they think of you?
Is it wrong or what? He blows,
Heavy breathing - Honestly, I
don't care about the audience,
,,,
If you knew how much I don't care about the public,
He is right, It's shit, what we play every night, No ?
- Now is not the time to,,,
-What we do is not worth a damn,
Look at them how they're pissing themselves off there,
Look at this,
The room is half empty, Look at their faces,
The toilet atmosphere!
Their pissed-off rat faces, It makes me want to die!
Well yeah! Oh yeah, he's right, I'm jealous,
I didn't sign up for this,
I wanted to make films!
Me, I like Depardieu, I like Belmondo, I like Dewaere,
I don't care about these crappy sets, I don't give a damn!
How the fuck did I fall like that? What am I doing here?
Ah, you, damn,,,
Groan
Heavy breathing Come
on, go ahead, Oh,,,
Lick the ground,
Go ahead, go ahead,
Lick the floor!
- Hold on, Well already,,,
Tell me what I should imagine, Is there any food?
Direct me a little,
I can't do it like that,
- You lick the wreath of a tramp
because you're just a stinking stray dog ​​living in a landfill,
He's laughing, So,
I just wrote it, the screenplay, Bloop!
Just go, Lick it, lick it,
Do it, Do it before I blow your face,
I count to 5, Do it,
I don't give a damn anymore, look at me,
Nothing left to give a damn, I have reached a milestone,
I count to 5,
Do it ! Come on ! A,
Two,
Three,
Four,
He groaned,
,,,
But where are you coming from? Did you stay?
-How are you ?
Do not move, Hold on,
Don't move too much, don't move too much,
,,,
- OK, it's good, everything is under control,
I manage, You can relax again,
I'm in charge again,
- I'm sick of it,
I was patient
but the cup is full,
You are all more stupid than each other,
Okay, well I'll get out of here, since that's how it is,
- Well, go home, - Shut up, idiot,
- Good,,,
He blew me away so much, I don't know what to say anymore,
Honestly, hey,,, Honestly,,,
I take back what I said, You have been,,,
monumental, You have me,,, Really, I,,,
I judged a little quickly, mea culpa,
I take back what I said about you, Hat, Hats off, artist,
I would like us to applaud him a little,
Honestly, it was magical,
Applause Bravo, Paul Rivière!
For the artist, Hats off!
,,,
Well done, - Well done !
- Get up,
Applause
and cheers,,,
Street
hubbub,,,
Indistinct
conversation Quick
little strokes,,,
Cut
,,,
- Oh! It's 3:40 p,m,
Dr, Bertrand shouldn't be long, because it seems to
me that we had an appointment at 3:40 p,m,, precisely,
- Hello, Madeleine,
So, I listen to you, tell me everything,
- Hello doctor, So, I did all the tests
that you asked me to do,
- Hmm, Alright,
And what are your conclusions, then? - Well, despite
the tests that you asked me to do and that I was able
to do, I am unable to give you a detailed diagnosis,
since according to the results of "the" tests,
It seems that this patient
is simply in a coma, doctor,
- All right,
So despite the tests I asked you to perform on this
patient, you didn't notice anything,,, else on this patient?
Madeleine? This is what you say, according to the tests?
- Yes, doctor, I didn't notice anything else
than the fact that this patient is in a deep coma, doctor,
Absolutely, according to the tests,
Laughter
Sorry, Yannick, I'm not kidding
at all, that's not it but it's,,,
All the mistakes, do we keep them?
- It's written like that, you say like that,
- We keep them, No problem,
Uh,,,
According to the tests,
-Are you sure of what you just told me?
And finally, are you sure
you did the tests correctly?
- Absolutely, Dr Bertrand, Finally,
I followed all the “potrocole” to the letter,
Laughs I can say without a doubt
from my side that this patient
is indeed in a deep coma,
I'm sure of it, based on the tests,
- Alright, So don't take this the wrong way, Madeleine,
Let me tell you one thing,
but,,, you are wrong,
- Pardon ? - Quite,
You are wrong, I'm going to prove to you that
this patient is no more in a coma than you and me,
You will understand,
Kiss him,,, on the mouth,
- Doctor,
- You heard what I just said,
Kiss the patient on the mouth,
- Well, anyway! Why this,
doctor?
- This is one last test, You will understand,
- Okay, I'll go,
My God no ! I can't, doctor,
He has terrible breath, Laughs It's worse
than the sewers, I don't know if I'll be able to,
- Don't be ridiculous,
You are fully capable of doing this last test,
IM asking you, It's for science,
- Well, okay, for science, I go,
Laughter
Oh my god, he moved!
- And There you go !
As you have just noticed,
this patient on whom you have just
performed this last test is not in a coma, No,
This patient suffers from a much more serious illness
and much more widespread in our society than a simple coma, Madeleine,
- What is this ? A living dead ? - No not at all,
It will surprise you, but I will tell you, nevertheless,
And you will listen
to me, attentively,
And you will be amazed,
This patient, Madeleine, is lovesick,
- Lovesick? - Quite,
I recently discovered, through
secret neurological research,
that many patients believed to be in coma are
in reality inanimate bodies due to lack of love,
Amazing, isn't it?
,,,
Nature is fascinating,
She sighs,
- Well, at the same time, forgive me, doctor, but,,,
with this breath, at the same time, it's understandable,
,,,
,,, Applause ,,,
Melancholy piano
music ,,, ,,,
,,,
Rhythmic
piano music,,,
رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال