POLICE
- Maurizio, - Daniel,
Thank you for not calling the Base,
Your friend is crazy,
You got anything on Bruno Lombardi?
He was arrested nine days ago,
- Arrested where? - Naples, Come in,
Let me talk to him,
Not in the jail, no, I'll call you when they let him out,
Well, it's my policy, You pinch my ass, I break your nose!
Enough!
No free passes for gorillas!
Hey, hey, hey! Stop!
Danny boy, I knew you'd come!
Let's get out of here,
I'm so fucking happy to see you,
- Warrant Officer Mackenzie,,, - Actually it's Chief Warrant Officer,
- Really? Congratulations! - Thanks,
- She broke a man's nose, - Fair point,
This is what we're gonna do,
You are not gonna press charges,
You don't want the whole town to find out that a little girl broke your nose, right?
You guys can just release her
and spare yourselves a whole day's worth of military paperwork,
You don't want to be on the phone with her CO at the Base all day,
We both know that,
- But now we are even, right? - We're not even close!
Maybe we're a little close,
You got any rope at all?
Just so you know, I still haven't forgiven you,
So this Bruno's in jail now?
He's in jail, Maurizio's on it,
We're gonna keep quiet about this for now,
Augusto's stressed enough as it is, yeah?
I could contact some guys inside,
Ask Bruno some questions,
As long as they just ask, yeah,,,
I shall contact my furniture restorer,
The sofa's in a sad sad state,
What do you think is wrong with you?
- Oh, you have company, - Hey,
Well done, Daniel,
We'll leave you two lovebirds,
- No, no, no, That's not,,, - Ew, no,
Mac and I were Marines together, She's family,
Mac, meet Bignè, Tancredi, Genny,
Nice to meet you,
Let's go,
- Have you seen my bracelet? - You wear bracelets now?
Yeah, I do, okay? And it's a bright fuchsia bracelet,
You didn't have it on when I took your clothes off last night,
- As one does with family, - No, For the shower,
Uh, it was,,,
- Shit! - The cops said all you had was this bag,
Shit, shit!
Oh, shit!
Oh, this is bad,
Fucking Ferdinando!
Ferdinando, at least I think that's what his name was,
I thought he was nice, but maybe he was a little too nice,
but I thought I was just being paranoid,,,
- Is she still drunk? - Hard to say,
Can you pull it together? Are you okay?
No, I'm not okay, I need my fucking bracelet!
Calm down, Where were you last night? What are we talking about?
I just got back from another shitshow mission,
I went to a club near the Base to blow off some steam,
On a mission?
It was a classy joint,
I'm minding my own business,
I have one, maybe two cocktails
and this guy comes up and he starts flirting with me,
But you know, I'm shy,
He literally drags me onto the dance floor and we danced a little bit,
Nothing fancy, 'cause again I'm,,, I'm shy,
It was romantic, like two ships passing in the night,
Anyway, I get my itch scratched,
I head out and big gorilla pinches my ass,
So I break his fucking nose, okay? End of story,
And somewhere in this sordid tale,
this Ferdinando runs off with your pink charm bracelet?
Hey, it's fuchsia and it's very cute,
Anyway, it's not just a bracelet,
Of course it's not,
Look, can we talk alone?
No, Actually, you can talk right here, What did you do?
If Daniel is your family, we are all related,
Whatever you need,
What are we talking about here? A ZKP?
- QKD? SMPC? What? - It's like an HSM, but newer,
And if you were to explain?
Zero Knowledge Proofs, Q-Key Distribution, it's all military cryptography tools,
Computer code that you protect, stored in HSMs,
- Got it? - Don't touch the hair,
So, you took a cyber tool to a party and got hammered? How drunk were you?
Well, I've been having a bit of a hard time, okay?
And?
This guy had beautiful eyes,
And nimble fingers, too,
Like butter,
- That's nasty, - Like butter?
Disgusting,
That's them, I'm supposed to meet them in an hour,
- So, Lieutenant De Luca,,, - Don't Lieutenant De Luca me,
Come on, Danny! The cute teddy bear said, "whatever I need",
- Hey, she called me "cute", - Well, she called you a bear,
I need this! If they find out I lost it, I'm going to get discharged,
- I need this job! - Yeah! I,,,
I'm gonna say it,
- Don't you,,, No, - Semper Fi!
Semper Fi,
Bignè, Tancredi, can you go to that bar and track this Casanova down?
- Genny? You could,,, - Genny isn't getting paid for any of this,
So Genny's gonna go rent a villa to a K-pop star, Right?
Bye,
You need some clothes,
- Hi, - Good morning,
Ah,,,
Oh,,,
Thank you, Ciro,
Yes, of course,
See you later,
Gucci,
Prada, Chanel,,,
What in the hell kinda lost and found is this, De Luca?
Just pick something simple, please,
Oh,
It's upside down,
- Throw that jacket on? - You don't like it?
- Daniel? - Hey!
Hi!
What's up?
I need to remind you that we have a strict policy about a certain type of guest?
What type of guest?
The type you pay,
Oh,
You mean Chief Warrant Officer April Mackenzie,
United States Marines Corps?
I'm not a hooker,
Hell of a pilot though,
Mac, this is Adele, She thinks she runs the place,
- Oh, - I do run the place,
Well,,,
Funny guy,
- Have a nice day, - Have a good day!
- You too! - Alright, Can you just,,,
Stop pushing,
- Wait in the car, - Nonsense, I'll be fine,
Once we get in there, let me do the speaking,
Once we nail the tone, the criminal responds,
- Are you sure? - Of course,
It's genetics,
The kingly voice,
After you, please,
- Good morning! - Good morning,
Tancredi William George Ippolito Villanova Harbert
of the Counts of Villanova and the Dukes of Rochester,
With whom do I have the honour of speaking?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Oh, yes, skip the pleasantries,
Quite,
My associate and I are on a frightfully tight schedule,
We are seeking a man by the name of Ferdinando,
Heard of him? Hangs by the Base,
Good with his hands, Beloved by the fairer sex,
Ring any bells? Fer-di-nan-do,
Man, you're really pissing me off,
Ok, ok,,, Guys, call Ferdinando Esposito,
Told you that would work,
Pretty cool, right?
Oh, God,
Ah,,, Lo,,,
The real criminals appear,
Seagulls! The vandals of the sky!
They are no match for me and my rags!
No respect, Bignè, or for art, like the Mona Lisa or the Sistine Chapel,
Would you shit in the Sistine Chapel? No!
- Hey, guaglio', - Sure, Let's get out of here,
Keep an eye on it,
Beautiful,
Come on,
Ciro,
- Hey, Daniel, - How are you?
I'm fine, How are you?
- I'm good, thank you, - Hi,
- Mackenzie,
I just happen to have a fresh piece of bufala, it's just arrived,
- Should I pack it for you? - No, Ciro, next time,
- It's special, - No, thanks,
But the girl needs to eat, right? Wait,
Angelina, bring the graffe!
What do you got for me?
- Not much, Danny, - What?
I don't work at the Base anymore,
- Ah, no? - Too many soldiers,
- No offence, eh? - No, none taken,
Also, I don't deal in stolen goods,
Of course,
- No? - Back when we were kids,,,
- Okay, - Eh! Yeah!
This one, he was the king of the scugnizzi,
- Scoon-what? - Yes,
Scugnizzi,,, How do you say it?
- Like hood rats, - Hood rats, yeah,
- Like the boys over there, - Hands off!
No kidding,
- Yeah, it's nothing, - Okay,
- Scugnizzo, - Oh! The guy's got a name,
- Ferdinando Marulo Esposito, - Oh, sure, Ferdinando,
- Yeah? - Yes,
Runs an antique store in Duchesca, near Piazza Garibaldi,
Him and the wife,
- His wife? - Yes,
Great!
- Here I am! - Angelina!
- But first, eat a graffa, - How are you?
Angelina, Mackenzie,
- Nice to meet you, - Oh, oh!
Try it,
- We have to go, - No,,,
Oh, wow!
This contact of yours is persistent as hell,
- Something I should know? - No, I got it under control,
You call that "control"?
Shit!
- Go! - Oh!
- God damn it, Mac! - Uh!
Come here, bitch!
- Run! Run! - Damn it!
Get the hell off the bike, Now!
Those weren't fucking friendlies! Those guys were obviously private!
Hey, relax!
Alright? They're not the enemy, They're just business guys,
- Business guys? - Yeah! Wealthy, stealthy business guys,
Who just tried to kick my ass on the side of the road,
They just want the code and the bracelet,
They use it to mine bitcoin, they make millions,,,
- And then you get a cut, I get it, - Yeah!
Same as any retired brass milking the private sector,
- Same as you Danny boy, - It's not the fucking same, you know it!
Fact! You run errands for rich fucks!
Do you know what I'm doing?
I'm still living out of my duffel bag, getting shot at for government wages!
We used to be proud of that,
Now you're keeping secrets and you put me in fucking danger!
- Do you not see the problem with that? - They paid me half in advance,
- I don't give a shit! Tell 'em no! - You know, I can't!
I can't, okay? It's gone!
- I paid off my debt, - Fuck, man!
- The next chunk, that's mine! - Jesus!
I need it for me, okay, Danny? Just this once!
Come on, man, One and done,
One and done, man,
Danny,,,
Hello?
Bruno Lombardi is getting out of jail tomorrow,
- You got an address? - Texting you now,
Send me the arrest report, too, Yeah?
Sure, I'll find it,
I think I should probably take them all,
If you could wrap that one for me, that would be great,
Maybe in the nice wrapping paper, Nice,,,
- Puppets again? - Of course,
My family owns one of the largest collections
of Commedia dell'Arte ephemera in Positano,
Yeah,
- Is Ferdinando here? - Fe!
Ferdinà!
What?
Oh, you backstabbing motherfucker!
Guess we found him,
Oh! Oh!
I'm gonna kill you!
Come back here! Ferdinando!
- I'm gonna kill you! - Alright!
What do you want?
- The bracelet, Where is it? - What bracelet?
- The bracelet! - Alright, alright!
- So that's your heartthrob? - I never said he was a heartthrob,
I said he had beautiful eyes,
Thank you,
Ouch,,,
I see it,
CLOSED
Let's be clear, She was the one who came on to me, Okay?
This sex demon took me into the bathroom and made me betray my marriage!
Alright, Just give me the damn bracelet and I'll let you keep your teeth,
- I can't, I gave it to my wife, - Okay, So call her and get it back,
No, no, no, no, no,
She loves the color,
How do you say in English? Fucsia,
- Fuchsia, - Eh? Faxia!
She's obsessed with it,
I'm sure she'll forgive you,
No, You don't understand,
- My wife is Teresa Giglietta, - Oh, fuck,,,
What?
Teresa "The Terrible",
She's a fence, a loan shark,
A criminal,
We are playing with fire,
One week late to pay, she takes a hand,
Ah!
Two weeks, she takes a foot,
If Teresa catches me,,,
She takes your pistolino,
Ouch!
I'm not doing it!
Nothing comes out of her drawers,
Nothing!
Especially if it's fa,,,
Fuchsia,
- Faxia! - It's not,,,
No way! Never!
- Do it, or I'm going in myself, - Not possible!
- The house is a bunker! - Oh, come on!
Scopone scientifico, Danny,
I'll ask you only once,
Do you still organise the game Scopone scientifico night?
Good,
Teresa runs a weekly game at her villa,
And she likes to win,
Oh! Scopa!
Wait, What's scopone sciencifico?
Scientifico,
Only the most glorious game in all creation,
So you can get us an invitation,
It's called scientifico because it is a science,
Forty card deck, two-player teams, ten cards per player,
You want to sweep the deck with the cards in your hand,
- Cute, - That's a scopa,
The other points are primiera, settebello, carte and denari,
If I'm going too fast, you can,,,
Primiera, settebello, carte and denari,
Four ways to score, plus scopa, the sweep,
Mm,
Teamwork is crucial,
You have to learn to read your partner's mind,
Play cards that they can sweep,
It's all rather intense,
Lifelong friends become mortal enemies,
couples divorce, bones get broken,
Occasionally, there is the odd murder,
Except in this case, we are not trying to win,
Of course we are,
Gentlemen never throw games,
Besides, Teresa is a legend
and I fully intend to give her a sharp lesson,
Absolutely not, You and I are staying far, far away from Teresa,
We’re actually gonna be at a table way in the back by the stairs
where we will lose a few games,
before I slip up to the bedroom for the bracelet while you keep watch,
Then our job is done, No funny business,
And what do I do?
Think you’ve done enough, no?
Copy that,
Fine! I shall go find my dinner jacket,
My great grandfather once introduced Churchill to our family tailor,
Okay, we are going as rich, dumb American tourists,
That is the play, Clear?
Daniel,,,
You speak of disguise?
Shitty cards,
- Yeah, that's not American, - I should certainly hope not,
My God,,,
No, no,
Oh, well, give me some pointers,
The context, texture of the scene,
Tancredi,,,
Please, just tell me what car we're going in!
No matter what, do not draw attention to yourself,
Oh, there she is,
Oh! Here they are!
Honey, love,,,
Teresina, sweetie,,,
I want to introduce you,,, to my wife,
- American friends, - Uh-huh,
Welcome to my house,
Hey! I'm Johnny! I'm an American,
Have fun,
- Scopa! - Again!
Mmm,,,
Scopa!
Pardon,
My wife would like you gentlemen to join her at her table,
That's not the plan,
Not my fault,
Thank you so much, We fold,
Tancredi,
We do not win under any circumstances, Got it?
Okay, man,
- Copy that, - I don't feel like you're listening,
Thank you for having us in your beautiful home,
It's an honour to sit at your table,
Sit down, green eyes,
Let's play,
I'm sure he's fine,
- Be careful, - Of what?
- I've seen the way you look at him, - It's not like that,
Okay,
April?
- Genny? - It's not like that,
So tell me,,,
How did you guys wind up working together?
Bignè and Daniel used to run around together when they were kids,
Am I right, B?
To my little bro Daniel,
A real scugnizzo,
He was my big brother,,,
for a while,
What about you?
Tancredi and I met Daniel when he blew into town from Naples,
after he quit the Marines,
- Nice, - Can I ask you a question?
- Shoot, - Why did he quit?
Well, he didn't,
Got kicked out,
Scopa,
Indeed,
Very good at this game,
Pardon, gentlemen,,,
Teresina, my love,,,
Why don't we take a little break?
Ferdinando,,,
Good idea,
- Hey, What? - This is humiliating,
- I had them twice, - Focus, Okay?
We’re gonna have to come back for the bracelet anyway now,
Just stall her while I go look around,
Hey, Lady Teresa!
You've assembled quite the porcelain menagerie!
How did you go about that, may I ask?
Beautiful creatures!
I was on a safari once,
This is taking me back,
Oh! We must share a drink,
For luck,
- Cheers, - Cheers,
- Thirsty? - Mm-hmm,
Danny sticks by his buddies,
Well, until he gets kicked out,
What happened?
You're going to have to ask him that,
- Closing time, - Don't,,,
tell me what to do,
Have you ever considered ordering them geographically?
You could have big cats of the African Savannah down below
and tigers in the east,
What are you saying? I don't understand!
Ferdinando! I don't understand,
- I've enjoyed meeting you too! - Ferdinando!
Ferdinando, come on!
What the fuck!
- That's,,, Well, there's nothing there, - Sorry,
Hey, Daniel, We need you back here,
Mackenzie's out of control,
Look at the American friends, look,
They're losing all their money,
They don't know how to play,
19-7,
Last hand,
Maserati,
All in,
- Oh my God! - What courage!
You like to lose,
Come on!
Scopa,
Oh!
Scopa,
Oh!
- No! - Scopa,
- Ferdinando! - Oh?
Scopa,
Okay, Count these cards,,,
Carte, denari, settebello and,,, primiera,
Ten scope,
21-19,
I think that's a wrap,
Thank you so much, We really appreciate you having us,
I'm gonna take this back, It's the hotel car,
It was a very risky move,
You need a hand? Long drive,
American?
Half scugnizzo,
Well done,
You come back and I take it all,
Show is over, get lost!
Where are you going? Come here, Sit down,
- Weren't we meant to lose? - Change of plans,
- We still don't have the bracelet, - We will,
Half scugnizzo,
Scopa,
Oh, I should never have doubted you, my friend,
So? Give me details,
Just drive, please,
Okay,
I told you guys not to worry,
Danny boy here gets the job done,
- Then some drinks all round! - Alright! I wanna make a toast!
Oh!
To you guys, Weirdest, best fucking squad ever!
- Semper fucking Fi! - Let's bring it down a notch,
- That's enough out of you, Come on, - Come on,
Hey, Danny, Danny, Danny, Guess what? I got another job,
- Say what now? - Yeah!
These other guys want to give me a truckload of cash
for another teensy-weensy little gizmo,
- What happened to "one and done"? - Two and done is better,
Uh!
No, I don't,,,
I'm sorry I said you run errands for rich fucks,
- You got out, skipper, - I'm good, thanks,
Good for you,
Mac, we need to talk about this mess you're in,
What mess?
- When did you get so boring? - Don't,
When did you get so fucked up, huh?
When you left,
ANONYMOUS
- Your room service, - Oh, God!
What's the thread count on these? Feels like I'm sleeping on butter,
They're the first thing I'm gonna buy after the handoff,
Second thing,
First thing's gonna be a rich person's cure to a hangover,
Thank God the handoff's in the afternoon,
- What time is it anyway? - Almost noon,
Oh, shit, I'd better get a move on then,
Actually, I took care of it while you were sleeping,
Yeah, right,
You what?
I gave them their money back,
Fuck you, De Luca,
So much for family,,,
- That's not,,, - Right?
De Luca?
Chief Warrant Officer Major Mackenzie?
You're under arrest
for disorderly conduct and public intoxication,
Honestly, I'm surprised you betrayed her,
She'll get 30 days in the brig,
Believe me, she was headed for a lot worse,
She'll dry out and get the help she needs,
That's not betrayal,
Bruno's address is Vico Lammatari 17, Napoli,
Ma'am, good morning,
I'm looking for Bruno Lombardi,
San Marzano tomatoes,,,
Do you use them?
My grandmother used to cook green beans only with San Marzano tomatoes,
Garlic,,,
three basil leaves, and not one more,,,
and a drizzle of oil,
Three leaves aren't enough,
My grandmother was stingy,
Who the fuck are you?
Bruno is a good boy,
But too dumb to be a crook,
Oh, women, money, trouble,,,
It's not right for him,
But that's all he wants!
And you can't live his life for him, right?
Granny, I'm back!
Artichokes,
Hey, Bruno! I'm Daniel,
- How are you? - This man wants to help you,
Do I know you?
We have a friend in common, don't we?
Where is Alice?