- Hi, sweetie, - Hi, sweetie,
How are you? Kids, look, it's Mom!
- Hi, Mom! - Hi, Mom! I learned a new song!
And I did well on my exam!
And one of my teeth fell out!
Be quiet and let Mom talk,
You all look so great, I can't wait to see you,
Hey, where's Paulita?
She's taking a siesta,
You got Paulita to take a siesta? Now that's amazing,
You're doing so well I hate it, Maybe I should stay here,
Don't say that, we can't wait to see you on Monday,
Yeah, it's only two more days, Be good,
I've got to go, I'm having a massage,
- Okay, bye! - I love you!
Good lord, Kids, we have two days to fix this disaster,
First, let's pick up your sister and get in the car, We're late,
Come on, let's go,
SIX DAYS EARLIER
- Let go, - Give it to me,
Give it to me,
Mom,
Rocío, I'm trying to fix the curtains,
I need you to put my hair in a bun,
But you're going to bed now,
So what?
You can't sleep with your hair up,
We sleep with anything we want, You sleep with Dad and I don't say a word,
That's true,
Mom, quiz me on capitals?
Sure,
Sweetie, did you see how good the curtains look?
Beautiful,
- Andalusia, - Seville,
We need new ones,
Yes, darling,
- Cantabria, - Santander,
Mom, Dani hurt my foot,
Dani, did you hurt your sister's foot?
She hurt it by kicking me!
Hi!
- I'm here, - Great,
- Everyone in the kitchen, - Thanks,
Darling, we're leaving,
Okay, see you later,
You and I are going out to dinner,
Rosaura came to watch the kids,
Sweetie, I'm really busy,
Why don't I watch the kids and you go to dinner with her?
To celebrate our anniversary? You want me to go out with the maid?
Okay, don't be upset, At least I remembered it was today,
You didn't, You say happy anniversary every morning just in case,
Happy anniversary, sweetie,
Good morning, sweetie, Happy anniversary,
Happy anniversary, sweetie,
It's not today either,
It's not?
The day we got married I promised I would never forget our anniversary,
Right,
Make up your mind already,
- Or the waiter will never come, - Yes, darling,
Are you working?
Why did I marry a computer technician?
I don't know what I'm celebrating,
I was finishing something, Sorry, I'm all yours,
I can't believe it's been 15 years,
It's our Crystal Anniversary,
Crystal?
- Yeah, - No such thing,
I'll check Google,
Yes?
Dani, darling, I'm having dinner with Dad,
Don't pay attention to her, she'll get tired,
Yes, kiss, kiss,
Dani says Paulita is chasing him around with a felt pen,
Hey, it's true,
Crystal Anniversary, 15 years,
5 years Wood, 10 Aluminum, 15 Crystal,
Just so you know,
I have it all organized,
I can't believe we're finally going to do it
after 15 years saying: Next year,
next year,
Yeah, huh?
Wow,
Yes, Paulita, Slow down,
I don't understand you,
Tell your brother to be nice,
Goodbye,
That's enough, honey,
You say I'm bad,
Can we focus here or what?
What if something happens?
Sweetie, cell phones are like kids,
Let them cry until they get tired,
If you answer right away they get used to it,
And they won't stop until you answer,
It's basic parenting, This is our moment,
- Let's talk about our romantic trip, - Yeah,
I can't go,
- I can't get the days off, - What?
I thought it would be fine, but when I asked, they said no,
It's you too, honey,
You can't plan things like this overnight,
Me?
If you'd told me sooner,,,
OCTOBER
- Did you ask for time off? - Yes, dear,
JANUARY
Did you ask for time off from work for our trip?
Yes, dear,
APRIL
- Did you ask for time off? - Yes, dear,
Honey, I swear we'll go next year,
Besides, "Crystal Anniversary" doesn't sound very solid,
While next year
would be our Ivy Anniversary,
- Sounds much greener, - I can't believe it,
Fine, I'll call tomorrow and cancel everything,
Good, That's the spirit,
Sometimes you drown in a glass of water, Like with the kids,
You see?
You can't help yourself,
Even at our anniversary dinner,
Then you'll say I'm the one losing the flame, Go on,
answer it,
Rosaura,
What?
The emergency room? We're on our way,
What happened?
Paula stabbed Dani in the eye with a felt pen,
Is this woman stupid or what?
Why didn't she call us sooner?
You did it again,
Look, over there,
Rosaura! Where's Dani?
He's okay, they're putting a patch on his eye,
He has to wear it until next Wednesday,
Why would you stab his eye with a felt pen?
She wanted to color them blue like a demon,
What?
Like my baby,
Little angels,
And tomorrow your brother and Carmen are coming for lunch,
- She's so obnoxious, - You're exhausted,
Hey, I'm getting an idea,
Why don't you take the trip?
I'll stay here and handle everything,
You want me to take the anniversary trip alone
and leave you here to watch the kids?
I don't even know how to answer that,
Honey, you deserve it,
Of course I deserve it, it's the kids who don't,
Why not? Why do you say that? I'm being serious,
Take the trip, relax, come back brand new,
everyone's happy, It's not so complicated,
Forgive him, Lord, he doesn't know what he's saying,
Close that and go to sleep, Let's go to sleep,
By the way, you have to go to the supermarket, I forgot something,
You're disorganized, you should make a list,
Look, do you know how much I have to deal with?
Sure I do, That's my point, Between your job and the kids,
it's like having two jobs, It's normal you're overloaded,
You should take this trip, If you're still stressed when you get back,
quit your job and we'll get by on mine,
Me? You should quit yours,
Why me? I only have one, you're the one with two,
Are you hearing yourself? The kids should be your job too,
They would be if you let me,
You could be right,
Maybe I should let you,
That's right,
No, children, stop,
Go watch TV or the tablet or a painting or something,
Go on, go on,
Javier can't go with you? Take me instead!
Why leave Spain? We have everything here,
Sure, brother-in-law,
Of course, Hey, maybe he took off on his own,
He's taking a while at the supermarket,
You're right, I only sent him to get one thing,
Okay, all set, Your mother drowns in a glass of water,
Dad, it took us two hours to buy salt,
It's not just salt,
It's the salt,
Do I have to explain again the huge difference between
kosher, normal, sea and Himalayan salt?
Yeah, but Mom wanted pepper,
She has no clue, let's go,
Leave me alone, ugly,
You're ugly,
No, when they take off my patch I'll have one eye each color,
Fool, you think getting stabbed with a felt pen
will change your eye color?
Are mermaids real?
No, sweetie, They're mythological animals,
I love how naive children are,
No way, they're gross,
I'd rather be in a room full of rats than with a kid,
- You're allergic to rats, - Exactly,
They drive you nuts, especially babies,
Keeping you up all night,,,
We were lucky there, these all slept 8 hours straight,
I'll be right there,
Marisa,
The meat is delicious,
Thank you,
How about the salt? An incredible touch,
Right?
Can you tell, honey?
It's perfect,
The other salt isn't the same,
Mom, are there more mythological animals?
Yeah, the centaur, which is half man, half horse,
And your father,
half husband, half brother-in-law,
which is practical
because you get two relatives for the price of one,
And what are his powers?
His greatest super power is that
everything he does, no matter how small,
is incredibly important
and he always knows exactly what to say, like:
"You're disorganized,"
"You drown in a glass of water," and my favorite:
"Honey, don't get nervous,"
What crap,
Exactly, Dani, it's crap,
I don't think that animal is real,
You just made it up,
Sure it is, In fact, almost all women have one,
And you know the only way to defeat
a husband-brother-in-law?
How?
Go to the Caribbean and let him prove he's right about everything,
Seriously, honey? Sounds great to me,
Go ahead,
We'll stay here and do our best,
Okay, wonderful,
I'll get dessert,
Carmen, come with me?
Yes, of course,
No, not for dessert, To the Caribbean,
Then,,,
Dad is Mom's brother-in-law?
I thought Mom's husband was Uncle Paco,
Of course I am because Dad is my brother,
Uncle Paco is your brother? I didn't know that,
I thought Uncle Paco was Aunt Carmen's husband,
He's Aunt Carmen's husband but also Mom's brother-in-law,
So Uncle Paco is half husband half brother-in-law too,
Right you are, darling,
You're really going?
Of course I am, you kept insisting,
Yeah, but I thought it was a joke like the brother-in-law thing,
I think it's brave of you to want to see if you can live without the kids and me,
It will make you independent and give you more self-confidence,
Excuse me?
Admit it, you do a lot of things,
and you deserve credit,
but you do them to feel needed,
You need to free yourself of that need,
So I'm the needy one?
You're going to flip, buddy,
Let's start from the beginning, We have five kids,
Dani is the boy, he stands out because all the others are girls,
His tooth is falling out,
If Paulita can't sleep, put on
"The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" or "Child's Play,"
if she gets mollusks, a rash,,,
- Are you listening? - Yes,
If she gets mollusks, use the cream, Dani is in the question phase,
Rocío, bad words and Paulita, tantrums,
And Sara's the wild pre-teenager, no need to explain my kids to me,
Paulita picks on Dani, Carlota and Sara pick on Rocío,
It's not so easy, the alliances are always changing,
One morning Rocío and Carlota
team up against Dani and in the evening
Carlota, Dani, and Paulita team up against Sara,
Paulita gets involved?
Paulita?
She's her own minority political party,
Her support can make the difference
and she'll give it to anyone who gives her what she wants,
I wish you a quiet legislature,
Come with me,
You won't have any problem because it's all written
here on these panels,
You pick them all up
at school at 5, take Paulita to the speech therapist
at 5:30, Dani to basketball at 6
and Carlota to violin class at 7:30,
Paulita finishes at 6:30 and it's next to basketball,
so I recommend you wait for Dani before taking Carlota to violin class,
Drop Rocío off at home because Cristina's mother
picks her up for dance class at 7,
Pick up Rocío and Cristina at 8 at dance class,
drop Cristina at her house,
and pick up Carlota
on the way home, Monday's are easy, Now Tuesdays,
Hi, sweetie!
Carlota wakes herself up every morning
half an hour early because she doesn't trust us to wake up,
If you don't understand Paulita, Carlota will translate,
I left Paulita's food prepared in Tupperware in the fridge,
Remember, she's allergic,
Of course, darling,
Yeah? To what?
Eggs, shellfish and some nuts,
Which nuts?
Almonds, walnuts,
- peanuts,,, - No!
Peanuts aren't nuts, they're legumes,
Peanuts are legumes?
Did you know that?
Of course, Dad, The Leguminosae family,
So is she allergic to peanuts or not?
Yes, that too,
Then who cares what family it is,
But she's not allergic to pistachios or gevuinas,
But don't give her any just in case,
I don't even know a gevuina is,
If you do, she can go into anaphylactic shock
and you have to give her an adrenaline shot,
It's all in the First-aid kit,
Yes, yes,
That's easy,
Check your cell phone, I have a surprise for you,
185 unread messages,
Welcome to the school parents' chat group,
It's very practical, it'll save your life,
Oh, my taxi,
I've added you to all the groups
and Carlota will explain how it works,
Rosaura will be here any second to wake up the kids,
And one thing, Be nice to her,
She's the only good thing that's happened to me since I got married,
The only good thing?
No, sweetie, how silly of me,
Not the only good thing, but the best,
And the other mothers at school
want to steal her, so treat her well,
I'd much rather you left me for another woman
than for her to,
And never turn off or silence your cell phone, Ever,
Under any circumstances, Call me if you need anything,
Sweetheart, don't worry,
Disconnect and have fun, I won't bother you
all week, you know I'm a man
of my word,
- Goodbye, - Bye,
I can't take it anymore,
I've reached my limit, I know I promised your mom
I wouldn't call her no matter what, but,,,
This is as far as I go,
I knew it, you can't handle them,
What?
Want me to come back?
No, smartypants,
Everything's great, I'm only calling to see if you're having fun,
Honey, I'm still in the taxi on the way to the airport,
Well, we miss you, that's all,
Have a great time, Okay, bye,
This isn't going to work, I should go back,
Should we turn around?
No way, I'll cut off your balls,
Please!
Kids, time for breakfast,
Dad, are we Opus Dei?
What? No, why?
What's Opus Dei?
At school they say we're Opus,
Because too many kids,
No, it's just that Sara wanted a little brother,
so we said: "Let's go for a pair," We talked to the stork,
but he brought you instead,
Then we called it again and it brought Rocío,
Another mistake,
Well, yes, But it's okay because the third time
it brought you,
So Rocío and I were mistakes,
No, honey, for God's sake, The mistake was Paulita,
Good morning,
Sorry I'm late, I had a little problem,
I see you're limping, did something happen?
I got run over when I was 5, I've walked like this for 50 years,
Sorry, I hadn't noticed,
Then you have no excuse, Did you know I was alone with the kids?
Do you really want know what it's like to be alone with them?
Rosaura, I'm sorry,
Forgive me,
I'm late to an important meeting,
I can't take them to school,
Here's some money,
take them in a taxi, Thanks,
We're off to a great start,
You mean there are no seats together?
Then we'll be separated the whole trip,
This isn't what we agreed to,
We might have to file a complaint,
Thanks!
No way, forget the complaint, You're going to fix this
right now,
I'm not going to drool on a stranger's shoulder, how gross,
The application tests are correct, the terminals work
and the transactions are working,
All right,
The app has to be ready
- on Friday, - Friday?
That's impossible,
We have to prepare the launch,
Copy the programs, configure
the app in stores,
- run tests,,, - Don't worry, we'll work
25 hours a day if we have to, The app will be ready Friday morning,
Understood?
We have to work,
We can't let down our best clients,
They're the most important supermarket chain in the country,
Okay, then for that I think we would have to,,,
Yeah, sorry,
To have the app ready this Friday, I would have to,,,
I'd have to program it myself,
Why don't you turn it off?
I can't, my wife said not to in case something happens to the kids,
Then shouldn't you answer it?
She didn't mention that,
Sorry, I'd better answer it,
Yes, what is it? Yes, that's me,
He got in a fight?
Okay, I'm on my way,
What is this, an American movie?
Since when do they call a Spanish father at work for something like this?
We've been fools ever since we started celebrating Halloween,
You're telling me, Cover for me,
Did you have to fight right when Mom was away?
Excuse me?
Dani gets in fights every day, Your wife comes all the time,
Really?
That's hard to believe, He's such a quiet boy at home,
I'm Harry Potter!
I'm Superman!
Very bad, Dani,
No fighting, especially this week with only one eye left,
- I know, - Anyway,
I hope you talk to him,
You can leave,
Wait, wait, You want me to take him with me?
His sisters have another hour left, What will I do with him?
He got punched in the eye,
Maybe take him to a doctor?
Yeah, you're right, Good call,
Come on, boy,
Why are we stopped outside school?
Weren't we going to the doctor?
Quit griping, I'll take you when your sisters get out,
I'm not making two trips,
But Dad, I'm seeing double,
Dad, I see double!
That's great,
It makes up for your covered eye, It's like seeing normal,
Just hold on, We're having a nice little chat,
Dad,,,
- Dad! - What?
- You wanted to chat? - Yeah,
But quietly,
If you go blind, I'll get you a dog,
Carlota, wait,
Dad, I don't need a man to hold my hand while crossing,
Because I'm a woman, right?
No, because you're not a woman yet,
You have to go and get Paulita,
Okay,
Classroom 4, third door, second hall on the right,
Okay, get in the car so nobody kidnaps you,
- See you tomorrow, Alex, - Bye,
Goodbye,
Flor, your grandmother is here,
Goodbye,
Who are you?
The father,
Whose father?
This girl's father,
What's her name?
Paula,
- Paula what? - García Loyola,
Who is that?
- That's Paulita, - Hey!
Who are you? Stop him!
He's taking the girl!
- I'm calling the police, - This is my daughter,
Your daughter? Sweetie,,,
Is this man your father?
I don't know,
Are you stupid or what?
Then what's her name?
Not again, Ma'am, I'm not going to explain myself to you,
Police!
Hi, Dad,
So you're really Marisa's husband?
Yes, ma'am,
Okay, girls, let's go, Nice meeting you,
Where is Marisa?
On a trip,
- She said she was taking a trip, - Yeah, but an anniversary trip,
That's right, she's celebrating our anniversary,
Sweetie, remember the costume for Friday,
- What costume? - I have no idea,
What costume?
It's all in the parents' chat group,
- Marisa gave it to you, right? - Yes,
Don't worry, it's all in there,
With the parents' chat groups
kids practically raise themselves,
It's like a food processor for childhood,
Just follow everything it says,
Great, thanks, Let's go, sweetie,
I thought Marisa said he was attractive,
She thought we'd never see him,
Maybe she thinks he is,
I'm still suspicious, An anniversary trip without the husband?
I'd leave him at home too,
- Is this everyone? - We're missing Sara,
Mom picks her up around the corner,
Why?
Look, there she is, Put on your seat belts,
What's he doing?
I should have called the police,
Sara,
Come on, get in the car,
I don't want anyone to see me with my daddy,
Would you get in already? I've caused enough suspicious today!
Sara,
Either get in or I'll put you in,
- What are you doing? - Come on,
- What are you doing? - We're going home,
Let me go!
- This one's mine too! - Put me down!
What are you doing?
Today we have Paulita's speech therapist,
What did she say?
She doesn't want to go, she speaks fine,
Okay, then, No speech therapist today,
I have a lot of work to do,
Good lord,
Dad, what does gay mean?
Gay?
I don't know, I've never heard the word,
Carlos Ramos' parents are gay,
No idea, Does that mean they're happy?
That's your answer for everything?
I'm substituting for one week,
I'm not getting involved,
Let love die, It kisses, it lies, it scratches,,,
Rocío, can you be quiet?
Since when do you sing Jurado?
Since age three,
Non-stop,
But Mom keeps her away from you
- so you can work, - Look, Dad!
Look, Dad!
I'm Batman!
Batman can't fly, fool,
Oh, right, I'm a dummy,
Let love die,,,
Look, Dad, I'm Superman!
Hey, please,
I can't concentrate with all this noise,
Dad, I have detergent, glue and shaving cream,
Got any contact lens solution?
What are you making, a bomb?
No, I'm making slime,
Contact lens solution is expensive,
I can use borax, It's toxic, but it's cheaper,
Okay, then, use that,
It comes, it goes, it crushes, Let love die,
What did I say? Keep it down,
I have to rehearse!
The Top Singers Kids audition is on Friday,
Did your mom sign you up for that? I'm not taking you,
Why? Do you have to work?
No, I have a sense of the ridiculous, And you don't,
Look, Dad! Look, Dad! Look, Dad!
Okay, what?
I don't know, I didn't think you'd look,
Where is Rosaura? They're all over me,
She's bathing Paulita,
- Right, there's another one, - Two more,
Yeah, but at least Sara is a teenager,
She locks herself in her bedroom and doesn't bother me,
Mom tells her to come out every 12 minutes,
I can't take the chance she might, This is so unfair,
Me bearing this and your mother having fun,
I'll get dinner, I bathed the little one,
By the way, she has mollusks,
Mollusks? She can't have mollusks!
- She's allergic to shellfish! - Dad, mollusks
are contagious warts you get at the pool,
Oh, okay,
- Are you working? - I wish, darling,
I've read 400 messages from the mother chat
and I can't find this costume,
That's the ducky mother chat,
Paula's costume will be in the chick mother chat,
What?
The duckies are Dani's class,
The chicks are preschool, Paulita's class,
I have four different chick chats,
Red, green, blue
and wet chicks,
The wet chicks are the pool, You should warn about the mollusks,
Add to the chat voluntarily? That's insanity,
What do the colors mean?
They put colors depending on the "abilities" of each child,
Why did your mother put me in all these chick chats?
Because Paula might be
a green chick in art class and a blue chick in gym class,
But where is the costume?
That I don't know, ask Mom,
Not a word to your mother,
I'll find this if it's the last thing I do,
Dinner's ready!
Carlota, help set the table,
Why me? Because I'm a woman?
Not again!
What about Dani?
Dani can't see squat,
- And her? - Who?
That's me,,, María from Cordoba,
with fire in my eyes and a carnation in my hair,
Dear followers, today we're going to explain how to make a perforation
or piercing in the cartilage area of the ear,
which is tougher and more resistant than the lobe,
I have here my model,
Sara!
What? I'm making a YouTube video!
Now I'll have to start over,
We take an ice cube
and put it behind the ear to serve as an anesthetic,
And the hypodermic needle previously disinfected,
And then,,,
That's okay, some areas are more sensitive than others,
Let's repeat the operation but this time in a soft area,
The tongue,
- Sara! - Damn it, I'm coming!
Like I was saying before they moved my seat,
Paco spends over 20 hours in that pizzeria,
If the kids are handling the orders,
why do you have to be there? Why?
What's wrong with this thing?
- Yours too, - Ladies and gentlemen,
Please put your seats in the upright position,
We'll be landing in a few minutes,
- What? - Thank God,
No, wait, Please,
We're watching a movie, they can't turn it off now,
You weren't even watching it,
Stewardess! Stewardess!
I want to see the end of the movie, Please turn on my screen,
There were only 2 minutes left, Please, don't be ridiculous,
I'm sorry, ma'am, We're about to land,
Then turn it on while we land,
I have a right to service
during the whole flight,
Imagine if I said I won't pay for the last 15 minutes of the flight,
You'd kick me off, right?
Ma'am, it's not possible during the descent,
Then have them turn around,
There's enough propane
to turn around, isn't there?
Please stop squealing, I hear you perfectly,
Squealing? Who's squealing here?
Ma'am, calm down!
You can finish the film on the flight back,
You see?
Look, Miss, I came to Cancún to relax,
You can't imagine how stressed I might get
from not knowing how the movie ends,
I could spend my vacation wishing they were over,
Tell me about it!
Paula, you're not going to bed
until you finish everything,
- So it's up to you, - Want me to intervene?
No, Rosaura, thank you, This is between Paula and me,
Leave us alone,
Come on, everyone to bed,
Paula, stop chewing and swallow,
Swallow,
Stop chewing,
You asked for it,
Excuse me, that's is my suitcase,
What? Please, It's my sister-in-law's suitcase,
Why won't he answer the phone?
Come on, answer it,
Let's go, That witch insisted your suitcase was hers,
Some people shouldn't be allowed to travel,
Paula, I have your baby, Swallow or he goes out the window,
Who's calling so much?
Yes?
Darling, finally! How is everything?
Great, the kids are all in bed,
So early?
Even Paulita?
Paulita is out like a light, I was just tucking her in,
Shut up!
Okay, send me a photo so I can see her,
even asleep, after you hang up, I have to see it to believe it,
Sure, honey, Big kiss,
I'll call you tomorrow at breakfast to catch everyone,
- And send me the photo, - Sure, darling,
You have to cooperate,
No!
If you cooperate, you can go to bed
- without dinner, - Well, okay,
Okay,
- Okay, can I go now? - That's what you think,
I heard you sell out quickly,
But dad's been in politics much longer than you,
That's her,
How did he do it?
I can't do it even putting on "Night of the Living Dead,"
How are they?
They're just great,
It sucks, huh?
What sucked was checking in,
They'd given us separate rooms, can you believe that?
Really?
But I fought with them and said no way,
Let's go to the room, I'm exhausted,
What? No way, We have to stay up to adapt to the time change,
Or we'll be tired the whole week,
So let's hit the beach, It'll be great, you'll see,
She won't even change,
How boring!
Have fun, you only live twice,
This life and the one that isn't a life,
You're falling asleep! Come on, wake up!
- Look at those guys! - Carmen, please,
They look like creepy weirdos,
You're right, Let's go,
Finally, to bed!
No, the bar, I've been here half an hour and I've only had 2 mojitos,
What fun!
Sir,
Sir, it's 7:30,
TUESDAY 7:30 AM 5 DAYS BEFORE MOM GETS BACK
I fell asleep,
Reading the mom chat, I had 18 messages left,
225 again?
What time do these women get up,,,?
GET WELL SOON GET WELL SOON
Why do they answer
saying the same thing?
Make it stop, please,
I'll make breakfast, you wake the kids and dress Paulita, Good luck with that,
Hey, why me?
Look, I understand that you don't know how this family works,
but this is how things have always been done here,
Rosaura, wait,
Let's enjoy the silence for a moment,
GET WELL SOON GET WELL SOON
Okay, that's enough, Let's go,
With energy, this is going to be like "The Sound of Music,"
If Captain Trapp
could handle six, I can handle 5,
You're nothing like Captain Trapp,
You're not exactly Julie Andrews either,
GET WELL SOON
Why hasn't this jerk said "get well soon" yet?
He has no idea how this works,
He'll be a social outcast,
Don't you dare answer that chat,
I'm confiscating your cell phone right now, You came here
to show Javier how to do it alone,
To relax, So come on,
get dressed,
Dressed for what?
To go out and party,
We're on vacation,
I've been holding out all day so we can adapt
to the jet lag and now you want to party?
Jet lag? What's that? A cocktail? I'll have to try one,
Get dressed,
This is adorable,
Carmen, that's not mine,
So it was the lady's suitcase!
You won the trade, you're always a mess,
- Hi, Dad, - Good morning, sweetie,
- Dad, you have to put my hair up, - Right now, sweetie,
Come on, Sara,
Get up,
Morning cheer!
Good morning,
Get up, Dani, Don't be lazy,
I have to wake up and dress Paulita,
What?
Damn, not even with headphones!
When is Mom coming back?
My tooth fell out, my tooth fell out!
Damn, how gross,
Here, we'll filter it out,
Rosaura, will you put my hair up?
Right now,
What's wrong with the pink panties? They're for Tuesday,
No, I want the blue ones!
But the blue ones are for Thursday,
We need a little order amid all this chaos,
What are you doing?
Sweetie,,,
You ruined the pig tails I made you!
Beast!
Okay, okay, okay!
Wear whatever you want,
But don't complain if I give you a cashew instead of a gevuina,
Dad, is the Tooth Fairy coming tonight?
Did you find the tooth? If not, she won't come,
Yeah, it was in the cereal bowl,
Sure, since it was a milk tooth,
Dad, which is better for the Top Singers audition:
“Se me enamora el alma” or “Marinero de luces”?
I think "The Sound of Silence" would be perfect,
By "Seemon" and Garfunkel,
It's pronounced “Simon,"
What are you doing?
Stop already! Always fighting!
Keep it down, please!
- He has my music! - Give it back,
- Dad? - What?
What does masturbate mean?
It was nothing,
- Sorry, I didn't see you, - Well,
Marisa's husband,
- How's it going? - Fine,
It's going just fine,
I looked for the costume in the chat and couldn't find it,
Do you know what the costume is?
No, because Paulita is a blue chick
and mine's a green chick,
What does that mean?
They don't tell us so the kids won't feel bad,
If you don't know either, why do you say that?
Because I can imagine,
But don't worry,
you'll have no problem dressing her up,
Come on, sweetie,
Hold on, I'm going to talk to Marisa,
Cancún is such a blast!
Cheer up, that dress may be cute
but you'll get nowhere with that attitude,
Did you see the guys I met?
They're from Murcia, Come over,
Mine's the tall one,
The sleazy guys from the beach!
The creepy weirdos?
Why do they look to me like middle-aged sex symbols?
I'll drink yours and in a little while
they'll be young hunks,
Look, I'm going to the room,
If I get lucky, I'll be right there,
Hey, you can't bring a guy to the room,
Please! Who do you take me for?
Here,,,
Hold this for me,
Murcia, what a sight!
- How is Friday coming along? - Oh, great,
It's almost ready,
I was up all night preparing,
I can tell,
Chin up,
A lot is at stake,
Thanks, Miguel,
Hi,
Good afternoon, Paulita, go with Daddy,
How do I have to dress her up Friday?
Paulita? As a tree,
A tree, how easy,
They're all going as trees?
No, ours are fairies,
- Why? - We're doing a kids adaption
of Shakespeare's "Midsummer Night's Dream,"
In English,
And since Paulita doesn't speak well,,,
But Paulita speaks Spanish like it's English,
Isn't that right?
Yes,
- Right, - She'll be an adorable tree,
Come on, sweetie,
PABLO LEFT HIS SWEATER, DOES ANYONE HAVE IT?
- I DON'T, - ME NEITHER,
ME NEITHER,
You're not answering?
If I don't, that means no, right?
ME NEITHER
Oh, my God!
They're a sect,
Oh, thank God!
What did we say about the cell phone?
Give me that,
What have you done?
I know you said not to bring a guy back,,,
Good morning,
So I brought two,
My shirt,
Come on, kids! Get in the car!
One, two, three, four
and five, Let's go,
- Dad,,, - Dad, please, hurry up,
I have a project,
Hey, that's enough mayhem back there!
Who is this kid?
I told you, he's not ours,
Why did you get in?
I'll get out if you want,
No, I'm talking to the kid, Why did you get in the car?
You said "Kids, get in the car,"
Come on,
Today you're going to flip, I have everything under control,
Your stop, Miss Sara,
Your friend Ana's for your group project, Front door service,
Okay, thanks,
Kids, next stop,
Dani, your stop,
This is the pool, I have basketball,
- Who had swimming? - Paulita,
And where is Paulita?
I'll pick her up in an hour, And she has mollusks,
Keep the others out of the pool,
What are you talking about? Hey!
Okay, Rocío, Dance class,
This morning you said I had tennis,
What? Do you even play tennis?
No, but you sounded so sure,
Dad!
The Tooth Fairy is coming tonight!
Yeah, yeah,
- Dad, - What?
With all the kids in the world,
how does the Tooth Fairy
give them all money
on the same night?
Well, she uses her super powers,
- Super speed, - Dad,
Don't lie to him, If she can travel around
the world in one night, it's because of the time change,
That's right, you see?
Carlota is very smart,
My soul is in love, in love,,,
Rocío, what did I say about singing here?
The audition is Friday,
- What audition? - Top Singers Kids, I told you yesterday,
And I said I wasn't taking you,
But it's my dream, And my therapist
says we can make all our dreams come true,
That's not true, I dream about you shutting up and it never happens,
What about Carlota?
She's unbearable too, but at least it's classical music,
What?
Paula's on top of Dani trying to color his other eye!
Oh, God!
Paulita, put that pen down right now,
Separate them!
No, Get off your brother without me intervening,
No!
- She said no, - I got that, thanks,
Paulita, either let go of the pen,,,
- Please, - I have your baby,
I'll rip off his head, Translate,
- She understands you, - Oh, right,
I'm going to count to three,
Let go of the pen and I'll let go of the baby, On three,
One,
two, three,
Stop!
- Stop! - Good lord,
Stop!
It's over, let's go,
To your room, I'm telling the Tooth Fairy not to come tonight,
- Why? - Because you misbehaved,
But she started it, Besides,
Santa Claus is the one who doesn't come if you misbehave,
He's right, the Tooth Fairy is a business,
Teeth for money,
It's not manipulative like Santa Claus,
God, now what?
HI! HAS ANYONE FOUND THE PINK UNICORN CAP
MARÍA LEFT IN GYM CLASS?
NOT ME!
ME NEITHER!
"No, I don't have the pink unicorn cap
María left in Gym class,"
Is this it?
Was,
WEDNESDAY 8:00 AM 4 DAYS BEFORE MOM GETS BACK
Today we're going to nail it, just like the Trapp family,
Do you like trap music?
I love it,
Doe, a deer, a female, deer, Ray, a drop of golden sun,
Me, a name I call myself,
Far, a long, long way to run,,,
What? I mean Bad Bunny,
The rabbit?
Bad Bunny, the trapper,
What trapper?
You know what a trapper is?
Sure, a guy who traps animals,
But you said you like trap music,
Trap is a musical genre that mixes
rap and reggaeton,
I can't find it!
What?
The Tooth Fairy money,
Did you call her and say not to come?
No,
Something must have come up, Like you said,
a lot of teeth fall out every day in this world,
She's overworked, I'm sure she'll come tonight,
- You think so? - Sure, son, Eat breakfast,
I'll clean up the bedrooms,
Let's see our plan for today,
"Warning, birthday in Dani's class," Warning?
Because the birthday is Friday,
So what do we have to do today?
Deposit the money for the gift in the bank account,
A bank account? Like a wedding?
Not one, four,
It's for all the birthdays this month,
Where will I find those account numbers?
In the ducky chat,
I think I'm going to end up shooting myself,
Dad, what does masturbate mean?
Not again,
Okay, you see your cereal?
Sometimes blind fishermen use cereal as fishing bait,
And they call it "master bait,"
Sure, that's why they say if you masturbate you go blind,
Okay, I made the money transfers,
Thanks, Sandra, I owe you one, I'm in a jam,
Don't worry, just get everything done for Friday,,,
- What's Friday? - The app for the client,
Oh, that, I'm working on something much bigger,
It will revolutionize
the world of parenting as we know it,
Sandra, forget Siri,
Meet Conchi,
Watch, Conchi,
what have we got later?
Take Rocío to her therapist at 6,
And here's what's really revolutionary about it, Look,
I've been checking stats
and there are 4 possible answers to almost any message in a mom chat,
When a child is sick, "get well soon,"
When a child forgets their sweater,
"I don't have it either,"
When they upload a photo, the applause icon,
And to a birthday invitation, "mine can't go,"
Conchi identifies these messages and answers automatically,
Look, now you can see Conchi in action, Watch,
I'm not doing anything,
See?
And Conchi identifies and erases unnecessary messages all by herself,
Incredible,
Now I only have to teach her to answer my son's questions,
Dad, can I ask another question?
As long as it isn't "Where do babies come from?"
What babies?
Babies are coming? When?
- What time? - Nobody's coming,
Why not?
Because there are plenty of us,
I meant where babies come from, how you make them, you idiots,
Where do they come from?
Now I'm the idiot,
From Paris, dummy,
That's right, Very nice, Carlota,
So we're all born French? When do we turn Spanish?
Right away, as soon as we get here,
Is the Tooth Fairy from Paris too?
Does "Tooth Fairy" sound French to you?
- She's English? - Sure,
That's why she was late and had to leave it for later,
Next stop, Rocío's therapist,
Good, because I have a thing or two to tell that two-bit Paolo Coelho,
My daughter is driving me nuts with some TV audition
because you said she can do anything she sets her mind to,
Children need to be taught self-esteem
so they become confident adults,
But you've never heard her sing,
Rocío, sing for the gentlemen,
My soul is in love,
in love,,,
That doesn't matter,
According to modern child psychology, my goal,,,
Your goal is for me to take her to the audition, she'll be traumatized
and you'll have a client for life, Nice racket you've got here,
Stop bringing her,
And what do I do with her on Wednesdays from 6 to 7?
No, you can keep her for now,
See you later,
Rocío, don't listen to your father,
His generation doesn't,,,
They don't get it, And you're a good singer,
You'll go far,
Take it from me,
- What is that? - The Tooth Fairy,
She was out partying and got turned into a mouse,
Now we've got her, don't let her go until she pays up,
Okay, cool,
You were right, 24 hours
with my cell phone confiscated and,,,
I feel so relaxed,
It's been proven scientifically, if you can hold off 24 hours
without speaking to your kids,
you'll never miss them ever again,
It's just that no mother does it,
- What are you doing? - The creepy weirdos,
They almost saw us! I'm so ashamed,
It's just that booze confuses me at night,
Don't torture yourself, it won't happen again,
Yeah, I'll let you pick the next guy for me,
- Me? - There's quality on this beach,
You see that guy who looks just like Denzel Washington?
Which one?
The black one?
Yeah,
He was making eyes at you,
- Really? - Yeah, Go talk to him,
Answer it, answer it!
Answer it!
Dani, how gross, Learn to use the toilet brush,
My wife leaves and they forget the basics,
You haven't realized all this started when your wife left?
Figure it out,
Kids, it's your mother, Video call,
Paulita, come here,
Hi!
- Hi! - How are you?
Great, I haven't got long, How is everything?
Great!
- Great! - I knew it!
It looks like it got cut off,
By the way, she has lice,
Damn,,,
Okay, here,
No more, The more I call them, the closer and happier they get,
I'm going to enjoy my freedom, I only have 4 days left,
Finally, that's what I like to hear,
Just let me check the Madrid chat after each meal,
- But,,, - I can't quit cold turkey,
Okay, but you have to go all out,
Okay,
Two mojitos!
And two for my sister-in-law!
That's me,,,
Dad, can you quiz me on the parts of the flower?
Let your brother, he loves asking questions,
Please,,,
Okay, what are the parts of the flower?
What? They've always been the petal, stem and pistil,
But the school is bilingual and Science is in English,
Then how should I know if you said it right? Did you say "tallo"?
I don't know what that means,
The long part at the base,
They call it bilingual and you can't speak Spanish?
And if it's bilingual, she should be singing the Beatles,
Fire in my eyes,
- A carnation in my hair, - Can't you study
- like your sister? - I have to rehearse for the audition,
I told you I'm not taking you,
Why not?
How can I make you understand?
So far you just don't seem to,,,
Your name isn't María, you're not from Cordoba,
there's no fire in your eyes, You're 8 years old,
a little embarrassing and can't sing,
At least she has a reason to be upset, not her soul in love,
She's got Pantoja's repertoire stuck in my mind,
- Unbelievable, - Dad,
Does the Tooth Fairy have a family?
Why?
Because now that we've caught him,
- we could sell him back, - Even if he does,
there would be so many they'd be hard to find,
If we put out 11 slices of cheese,,,
- Rosaura! - What?
Can you watch the kids for a little while?
I have to turn in something important on Friday
and I don't know what you do here,
Missing my kids' childhood so you could miss yours,
Busted!
Dear followers, today
I'm going to explain how to put on porcelain nails,
Sara, dinner!
Coming!
What a pain,
You're scratching too? Good lord,
Why's your hair down? Lice too?
No, I don't want to sing folk after what you said,
Very smart, sweetie,
I want to be black, they sing great,
But you can't be black,
Why not? A woman can be whatever she wants nowadays,
That's not it, smartypants,
Dani's a boy and he can't either,
Now why are you arguing?
Dad won't let us be black,
I'll call Mom, I'm sure she'll let us,
Don't call your mom, she's on vacation,
Get the carnation and I'll do your hair,
Okay!
Paulita, pick up your fork,
No,
Paula, don't start like every night, Pick up your fork,
No,
Look,
What is this? It's awful?
Sara did it,
Take these off your sister right now,
I already tried but I can't,
The glue is too strong,
I like it, I want to be Feli Kuler,
Feli Kuler? What is that?
She said she wants to be Freddy Kruger,
Should we try to cut them at least?
No, we can use her to until we delouse,
Please, Come on, let's go, What a disgrace,
THURSDAY 8:00 AM 3 DAYS BEFORE MOM GETS BACK
Unbelievable,
Taking us to school with lice, We should be in quarantine,
Our appointment is at five
and you can't stay home,
I need the day to work without interruptions,
How much to not scratch ourselves?
What I said, 25 cents an hour,
What a day, the Tooth Fairy finally pays up
and now this,
Let's synchronize our watches,
Dad, you're the only one with a watch,
And it's a wind-up,
Never mind, at 5 o'clock sharp, everyone here, Until then,
not a word to give us away,
Okay? Last group scratch,
The clock starts,,, now,
Anything salty!
We'll eat anything salty you've got!
We'll even munch on your peanuts,
Give me another mojito,
Ma'am, I think you've had enough to drink,
No! And you know why?
Because you still look butt ugly to me!
So keep serving me
until you look like Brad Pitt,
Right now you look like a chubby cook, so you're almost there,
You should go to bed,
Yeah, right, at 5 in the morning, You're nuts,
It's 5 in the morning?
Give me my cell phone, I forgot to check
the dinnertime mother chat,
You are such a pain with your cell phone,
Here, go on,
Thanks,
What did this animal post?
I feel dizzy,
Excuse me, but your phone hasn't beeped for a while,
Did you silence the mother chat?
No, it's okay, Rosaura,
I created an app that answers for me automatically,
Someone posted a photo and the app answered with applause and cheers,
That photo is an obituary, The gym teacher died,
Well, the app still needs a little work,
HEAD LICE REMOVAL CENTER
Damn!
455 euros to delouse us all,
I should have negotiated directly with the lice,
I'll take this out of your salary,
What?
Not all of it, I'm not that cheap,
You're going to charge me for getting lice in your house?
It's your fault,
You always say you never take anything that's not yours,
Look what I've got, Dad,
What a brute!
Whose teeth did you pull out?
I thought that since we have the Tooth Fairy,
we can make a little money,
Here's the situation,
I have the Tooth Fairy in my power,
Really?
From now on, give me your teeth,
What?
I'll bring you the money the next day,
For a tiny cut, of course,
Right now these are all I have
but there are 4 about to fall out, I'll make a killing,
Good lord,
The teeth are going to cost me more than the lice,
I'm done, time to go,
I can't come tomorrow, I have the doctor,
I give you an inch and you take a mile, I even paid for your lice,
I'm sorry, I have my rights,
Really? After I paid to delouse you?
You know what? I've had enough,
- I quit, - Oh, sure,
Now that you've been deloused,
You're unbelievable,
Kids, tonight I'm going to perfect the app
and we won't need her anymore,
Now let's go to bed,
By the way, I'm sleeping out tomorrow night,
What?
You're 13, not 36, Where do you think you're going?
To the Bad Bunny concert,
No way, especially after what you did to Paulita,
It took 4 hours to get those nails off,
Stay out of trouble,
I pierced her tongue and you didn't even notice,
What?
How awful,
What are you doing?
Learning sign language?
No, I'm doing a Tik Tok,
What's that?
- Never mind, - Why don't you play some
Bad Bunny for me? I want to hear him sing,
Really?
My kids are the most important people in my life,
I want to understand you,
If you like it, it must be good,
Bad Bunny,
Follow your path,
without you I'm "betta,"
Other ladies do me "betta,"
I was a bastard before, I,,,
Look, I won't go into the message, which is deep,
or that he pronounces worse than Paulita,
How can you like someone
who rhymes "betta" with "betta"?
I knew it, You don't understand,
Understand what? He doesn't vocalize,
Don't insult him, he's the most important person in my life,
You don't even know him,
Dad, you just said that I'm the most important person in your life,
And you don't know me either,
Busted!
Can you stop saying that already?
Sara!
Sara, I understand you better than you think,
It's a fragile moment in your life,
Not a little girl, not a woman, your chest growing,
your face full of zits, your nose swollen,,,
My nose is swollen?
Yeah, sweetie, Did you think we hadn't noticed?
Then I'll never come out again!
Nice going,
Wait, is this a trick so I won't go to the concert?
Of course not,
It's puberty, I would never lie to you about this,
If you don't believe me, look at your moustache,
What?
FRIDAY 8:27 AM 2 DAYS BEFORE MOM GETS BACK
- Yes? - Where the fuck are you?
I overslept, working late, But don't worry,
The system went into production at 8,
It's a disaster, I called a meeting with the clients in one hour,
Get your ass over here,
Paulita, wake up, Come on,
- What? - You have to get dressed,
"Twee, twee,"
- What? - "Twee,"
- "Twee," The tree costume! - Yeah,
I forgot, It's not going to happen,
Don't start, don't start,
This is Paula García Loyola's father, she has to miss the school play,
She has chicken pox,
That's a lie! Help, help!
Shut up! You pronounce perfectly when you want to,
No more speech therapy,
Dad, the Tooth Fairy didn't pay for my friends' teeth,
Son, she must have a lot of other things going on,
But if I don't take the money, no more teeth,
You want a piece of the action?
Just front me the money for today,
Sorry, you're not going to school today,
But I can't start a business and miss the first day,
That doesn't inspire confidence,
Too bad, I'll be back in 2 hours,
Dad,
You're leaving us here?
No time to take you to school and I can't leave Paulita alone,
But Dad,
You can't leave us alone without an adult, I'm calling Mom,
No, don't call your mom,
Okay, I'll find you an adult,
Paco, I need you to come over and stay for 10 minutes,
I can't leave right now,
What? You have 9 employees,
I have a business to run, if I leave it has to be for that,
If you want to see me, order a pizza,
What a cheapskate! Whatever, just come now,
Okay, but what toppings,
Large barbecue,
But I have to go to the audition,
I'm calling Mom,
No way, Rocío, Mom is on vacation,
If anyone calls your mother,,,
Paco, it's about time, Come in,
What's going on?
- You have to stay with them, - What are you doing?
I'll be back in an hour, two tops!
What? I have a business to run!
It's an emergency!
You can't lock us in here!
- There's a key in the tray! - Dad!
I won't leave you alone here,
but I have a business to run,
Tell me about it,
It's a disaster, You've uploaded the wrong catalog
into the system with incorrect prices,
Products are being sold in all our stores
at the wrong prices, It's chaos,
Can you explain what happened?
I developed my part following the correct
specifications, so don't look at me,
It wasn't me, my design perfectly follows the client's needs,
Well, top-quality ham has been selling for 1,50,
Javier, you're the project leader,
What's up?
Well,
implementing this app is complex and there are lots of factors,
And I should have known that a new app
can't be hooked to a PTVS if,,,
If your wife takes a trip and leaves you alone with 5 kids,
I was convinced that
I could do it all, but there was no way, I don't know
if you have children,
but it was over my head,
I didn't want to admit I couldn't do everything
and I screwed up,
I don't know what to say,
I'm ashamed,
I'll resign as project leader and leave the company
for all of the serious damage I've caused,
This is where in the movies they stop you and say:
"Don't go, the company won't be the same without you,"
Right?
Okay, then, I'll go,
- Uncle Paco, - What?
If a Chinese person bites you, do you turn Chinese?
No, Chinese people aren't like zombies,
But can there be Chinese zombies?
Sure, if a zombie bites one, he'll be a Chinese zombie,
What if a Chinese zombie bites me?
Then you'll be a zombie, but not Chinese,
- Why? - Because nobody turns Chinese,
Oh, okay,
Logic isn't your thing, huh?
Why do you care? Did a Chinese person bite you?
- Yeah, - Damn, that's a big bite,
His parents are from here, so he's not Chinese, Chinese,
Not Chinese, Chinese?
I think he's adapted,
- Adopted, - Right,
Don't worry, you won't turn Chinese,
Okay, but I'm not going to his birthday party,
No wonder, if he bit you,
No, because I owe him money,
What for?
It's a long story, Wanna hear it?
Javi, what happened?
- I'm leaving, - You got fired?
Pretty much, I'm going to see if I can fix
what really matters in life, What a phrase,
I think I've seen too many movies,
How can the Tooth Fairy bring you money if she's locked in a cage?
- Where will she get it? - That's true,
You think she can make money like she's laying an egg?
Uncle Paco,
can you call our mother? We need to talk to her,
Yeah, but it's 5 AM there,
I'll send Aunt Carmen a message to call us when they wake up,
They're probably still in bed,
Don't you ever get tired?
We've been partying for 36 hours straight,
What time is it? I'll check,
"Message from Paco," Who's Paco?
Your husband,
It's for you,
- For me? - Yeah,
For you,
TELL MARISA TO CALL HER KIDS
Uncle Paco, look,
I picked a song for the audition,
My soul is in love, in love,,,
Uncle Paco, I let the Tooth Fairy go,
Why did you let her go?
So she can get the money,
What? You think she'll come back?
Sure, I didn't give her the teeth, I'm not stupid,
Mom, if you're there, show yourself,
What are you doing?
We're trying to contact Mom,
With a Ouija?
Dad took our cell phones away,
And you lit a candle, that's dangerous,
Uncle Paco, don't step on the Tooth Fairy!
Uncle Paco, are you okay?
The curtains!
The fire is lit,,,
The wood burns!
Fire!
Uncle Paco, do something!
Do something! It's burning!
I'm back,
What happened?
What have you done?
What? Just what I needed,
Pay for the pizza, I'm out of here,
What a gang,
Sara, you're the eldest, What happened?
I have no idea, I was waxing my moustache,
Waxing? Because of what I said?
I let the Tooth Fairy go,,,
He came running, we got spooked,
the candle tipped over
and the curtains caught fire,
A candle? What for?
To do a Ouija and contact Mom,
But Mom isn't dead,
But she'll die when she sees this,
Are you going to kill us?
No, sweetie, no,
Your mom is going to kill me,
All of this is my fault,
If I hadn't said Sara has a moustache,
if I hadn't kidnapped the Tooth Fairy
or kept you from talking to your mother, none of this would have happened,
But you did okay with the rest,
Yeah, I did great,
I got angry with the principal, the therapist and Uncle Paco,
And with 100 mothers and 8 fathers
in chick chats of every color,
But at work you're okay, right?
Fantastic, I got fired,
Really?
But the worst thing, where your mom will kill me, is we lost Rosaura,
And she even said she'd rather lose me to another woman than Rosaura,
Don't be sad, Dad,
I'll find the Tooth Fairy,
When she pays up, we can buy new curtains,
Dad, when I said Bad Bunny was the most important person in my life,
I lied,
He's the third,
Mom is the first,
and the second
is Rubius,
The youtuber, He has an event today
with his fans, Will you take me?
What about the trapper concert?
You were right, it makes no sense to love someone you've never met,
That's why I want to meet Rubius,
Just for the pleasure of hearing you say the words "You were right,"
I'll take you,
- And we have to get Rosaura back, - Yes,
We have to get Rosaura back, And we will,
And can I try out for the audition?
No, sweetie,
You can't try out,
You can win the audition because we will,
And we'll take Paulita to her school play,
Yay!
You'll be the prettiest tree in the whole world,
Yippee!
Dani, masking tape,
Sara, bring me a green sweater and you guys bring parsley,
Is this the best tree in the whole world or what?
- Yeah! - Well,,,
It's your mother!
- Hi, sweetie! - Hi, Mom!
Hi, Mom, I learned a new song!
And I did well on my exam!
And one of my teeth fell out!
Be quiet and let Mom talk,
You all look so great, I can't wait to see you,
Hey, where's Paulita?
She's taking a siesta,
You got Paulita to take a siesta? Now that's amazing,
You're doing so well I hate it, Maybe I should stay here,
Don't say that, we can't wait to see you on Monday,
Yeah, it's only two more days,
Be good, I've got to go, I'm having a massage,
- I love you! - Bye!
I knew something was wrong after my brother-in-law's message,
But it's worse than I thought,
This postcard of the perfect family proves it,
I'm sorry, I have to cut in line,
Excuse me, I need to get on the next plane to Spain because
my mother just died,
I'm sorry, that's impossible,
I understand, but I had to try,
Besides, I'm lying,
It's my husband, He's alone with the kids,
What?
You should have said so, there's a plane about to take off,
I'll stop it,
Thank you!
We made it in time for Paulita's big debut
as the starring tree,
Ladies and gentlemen,
we're sorry but we have to suspend the performance,
One of our students
whose father called to say she had chicken pox
has shown up at the center,
Apparently
the father thought wrapping her
in masking tape would be protection enough,
But we've decided to evacuate
the children to avoid an epidemic,
No, it's okay, it's just mollusks,
No,,,
What a mess, Where now, Conchi?
Next stop, Dani's birthday party,
Dad, I can't go, I owe the Chinese kid money,
He owes me more, I transferred a lot of cash,
You're going,
Don't hide, Dani, We'll find you,
Take it easy,
The Tooth Fairy got away
without paying up,
but I'll pay you guys back, I promise,
How?
In teeth, I'll give you mine when they fall out,
And you can get the money,
You'd better,
Dad, we've been waiting 2 hours, We'll miss the Rubius event,
It's okay, it's our turn now,
204,
- Rocío García, - Let's go,
- Watch Paulita, - Good luck,
Perfect,
What a cute little girl! What's your name?
Rocío,
Rocío García,
Rocío,
what are you going to sing, gorgeous?
"My soul is in love,"
A wonderful song,
Good luck, princess, I'll put on your track,
The stage is yours, enjoy it,
Okay, you missed the opening,
That's okay,
You're just nervous,
You get a second chance,
Relax and have fun,
My soul is in love,
in love,
Every time I see you,,,
turn the corner,
You smell like basil and chamomile,
The moon lights up when you look at me,
It's getting late,
Laughing and sobbing,
life has gone away,
I dream about him,
squinting at the night,
You, living with someone you never loved,
The fire is lit,
The wood burns,
Burns, burns, burns,
Thanks, Dad,
You were right,
Seen from outside, all this is pathetic,
Rocío,
we'll call you,
- Not the dad, - No, no,
Obviously,
Thank you,
How did it go?
We're going to miss it,
We have 10 minutes, Come on, let's hurry up,
Come on, you'll make it,
We'll wait here,
Dad, Dad,
That's Rubius,
Yeah, that's him,
Rubius, excuse me, My daughter Sara
is a huge fan of yours
and we're a little late,
Can you wait a minute?
The event is over, I'm sorry,
Just 2 minutes, Rubius!
He left,
We saw him leave out the back door,
I don't believe you,
It's true,
I have a surprise, a present for you,
He threw away half a burger and I grabbed it for you,
Dad, I would die for him! You took it out of the trash?
It's the best gift anyone ever gave me,
Are you lame?
Dad bought a burger and bit it himself,
What? Damn it, Dad!
How gross!
Carlota, what a tattletale!
Sorry,
Let's go,
One second, I don't like to leave a fan hanging,
Rubius, Rubius!
Who wants a photo?
Dad, take a pic!
Photo!
Here, let me take it, We'll do a selfie,
Bam, bam,
Cheese!
There you go,
Thank you so much,
I don't know how to thank you,
Yeah, great, 50 euros,
- Yeah, - Really?
Yeah, this YouTube shit isn't what it was,
Thanks a lot,
Thank you,
Anything for my fans,
- Bye, girls! - Bye!
Okay, girls, back to the car,
Conchi, what's next?
Operation "Get Rosaura Back,"
I have a plan that can't fail, She won't be able to resist,
Paco, I need a favor,
Another favor?
You don't have to do anything this time,
Yeah, sounds familiar,
I only need your 3 Mexican delivery boys,
Oh, just 3 delivery boys,
If you want my delivery boys, order some pizzas,
Okay, whatever, but I need them now,
Your uncle is unbelievable, It's pizza time,
Yay!
This is the serenade King David sang
to pretty girls and we sing it for you,
Wake up, my darling,
here comes the sun,
The birds are singing and the moon has gone,
Thanks, boys,
I'll settle the pizza account with my brother,
You brought mariachis,
I wanted to apologize, You people like this stuff,
Us people from where?
From where you come from,
Who are we? Those men are Mexican
and I'm Peruvian, It's not the same, you know,
That sounded a little racist,
Please,
Rosaura, I'm joking, I'm sorry,
I also wanted to give you this gift,
It's a ticket to Peru
so you can see your children, Please, take it
and go home,
Rosaura, the living room caught fire,
The house is a disaster and my wife gets back in 2 days,
We're lost without you,
Will you come back?
No,
What a disaster,
I don't know how we'll fix this before Mom gets back,
When is she getting back?
In one hour,
Thank you,
I hope it's not too late,
It's okay, we have 2 more days,
Today this team
has failed at every mission we've tried,
But what matters is we're all together,
Dad, we're missing Dani,
Shit!
I forgot to pick him up,
The play center will be closed by now,
I never thought it would come to this,
"Does anyone have Dani's sweater we forgot,,,
with Dani still wearing it?"
Sorry,
Thanks for holding onto him,
Take him away, he's been fighting with mine all afternoon,
He's yours too? I thought only the girl,
He's adapted,
What a monster! Like father, like son,
Look, my son is wonderful, He's sensitive and smart,
The fact that all parents aren't as perfect as you
doesn't mean we don't love our kids,
Spare me, I have a headache,
You've been drinking all day,
What? That Chinese kid is a liar,
Mom, he told the truth,
Time for fucking bed!
I don't understand why you don't get along with that kid,
Why do you always fight with him?
Because I like him,
What?
We can't have that, son,
Never hit the people you like,
Okay,
- And people I don't like? - Neither,
- Then who can I hit? - Nobody,
Nobody?
Hi!
Surprise! I'm home!
You're back!
- I thought you got back Monday! - You all look great!
What are you wearing?
I made matching dresses with the old curtains
you wanted to change,
To protect their clothing,
Like in "The Sound of Music," What a surprise,
Where's Dad? And Dani?
Here they come,
Sir, look who's here,
What are you doing here?
I thought you got back on Monday,
Well,,,
I missed you all too much,
Actually I thought you were in trouble,
Now I feel ridiculous,
You managed the house and your job,
You were right, I'm the one who can't handle everything,
You don't have to, from now on, we'll do everything halfway,
Really?
Look, even better,
I'll quit my job and stay home,
I can't believe it,
I can do both,
It's possible,
But right now, what I want
is to enjoy my family,
Thank you,
Come on, you must have a lot to tell me,
Rosaura,,,
I don't know how to thank you,
And I don't know how she didn't smell the paint on the walls,
I think she didn't want to,
Yeah, right?
She's too smart,
None of this would have been possible without you,
I'm so glad I bought you the ticket to see your kids in Peru,
I have to confess I don't have kids,
Okay, you tricked me, To see the rest of your family then,
No, thanks, I already changed the ticket,
I got a ticket to the Maldives,
Great, I'm the only one who doesn't go anywhere,
That was Thursday,
On Friday my sister-in-law took off and left me alone,
Alone! Can you believe that?
Well, not alone,
First I humped a couple of middle-aged Spanish actors
and then I banged the bartender at the nightclub
who looked just like Brad Pitt, How about that?
Okay,
Shut up, this is the scene I missed at the end of the flight over,
The end of the movie,
Paulita,,,
- Okay, everyone ready? - Yes,
Ready for a good day? Let me see you,
Let's see,,, Group hug,
Conchi, remind me what to buy at the supermarket,
Conchi, where next?
I'm crazy about it, I love it,
I don't know how I lived without Conchi before,
Whoever created her will make a fortune,
It's complete bullshit, See you later,
What's up, Sandra?
Javier, what a hit!
On Friday after you left I uploaded your app to Google Play and Apple Store
and we have over 20,000 downloads,
We went viral!
Can you fucking believe it?
What?
Viral!
Conchi, are we out of wine?
Isn't it a bit early for that?
Conchi, don't start!
When I feel good, the frying pan doesn't stick,
I make a perfect omelet,
I hug you tighter because it's cold, The house is dirty, try a hotel,
I feel good, the music inspires me,
Merengue, bachata, your sleepy voice,
I make poetry in four words, I light up the night
and make the days longer, I can read your mind,
fix everyone's problems,
I sing my way around the world,
In one second, I ignite the sun,
I smile at you and change your life, Today I'm your lottery,
Today it's me,
How lucky to have you,
the sun rises and you say I love you,
I love you so much
it shakes the whole universe,
When I feel good, I park anywhere,
I always paint red lights green,
I give you good luck so you have a great day,
I have a degree in love and cheer,
I feel good, it smells like spring,
Mint, cilantro
and your cinnamon skin,
I'll get you everything beautiful in life so that you'll love me,
I can read your mind, fix everyone's problems,
I sing my way around the world, In one second, I light up the sun,
I smile at you and change your life,
Today I'm your lottery, Today's it's me,
How lucky to have you,
the sun rises and you play along,
I love you so much
it shakes the whole universe,
I can fly and disappear,
sneak into your dreams, sink and sew,
Abracadabra, now you see me, now you don't,
I'm a genie without a lamp,
20 times stronger and faster than you,
I'm always in a good mood,
I can read your mind, fix everyone's problems,
How lucky to have you,
the sun rises and you say I love you,
I love you so much
it shakes the whole universe,
How lucky to have you,
the sun rises and you play along,
I love you so much
it shakes the whole universe,
- Sweetie, - Hi!
Did you remember to ask the company for time off for our trip?