(OPENING THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(WIND CHIME RATTLING)
Now, don't eat it until I say "Go,"
All right,
-One, -(CHOMPS)
DUG: So good,
-Try again, -DUG: Yes,
Wait until "Go",,,
DUG: Mmm!
It's official, You really don't teach old dogs new tricks,
-(PHONE RINGS) -DUG: I am old?
I have no idea,
Fredricksen residence,
Oh, hello, Miss Meyer!
The senior center is gonna adopt all of Muntz's dogs?
(CHUCKLES) Thank you so much!
DUG: Dawgs,
You adopted one, too?
And your dog wants to talk to my dog?
Uh, hang on,
Come here, Dug,
ALPHA: Hello, Hello? Dug, are you there? Come in, Dug,
DUG: Alpha?
ALPHA: This is Beta, You are Alpha!
Do you not remember this which I am telling you now?
-DUG: Oh, that is right, I am Alpha, -(GROANS)
DUG: Do you like living in a house now?
ALPHA: Oh, yes! I love my Toys-for-dogs!
-(TOY SQUEAKS) -ALPHA: This one is a little cow!
(ALPHA LAUGHS)
There is much fun to be had and,,, Squirrel!
DUG: Squirrel? Squirrel! Where is the Squirrel?
-(BARKS) -ALPHA: Bye, Dug!
I'm back,
They do keep you on your toes,
What's that?
Oh!
Okay,
Uh-huh, Sure,
Well, thanks again,
Bye now!
Oh, no, no, no, no, This is not good,
DUG: What? What is not good?
This is very, very bad,
DUG: What? What is it?
Very bad,
DUG: I feel so bad for you! (HOWLS)
It's,,, It's Miss Meyer,
Miss Meyer was mean to my Poppa, (HOWLING)
-From the phone call? -DUG: She was mean on the phone,
-She likes me, -DUG: And she likes you? Huh?
And wants to go out on a date,
With me!
And I said okay,
Can you believe it?
DUG: I do not know these words,
How could I do such a thing? (GASPS)
I'm sorry, Ellie,
DUG: Poppa, what is a date?
Well, we go out,
You know, hold hands, pitch woo,
Woo?
Like, playing at the dog park with Fifi,
DUG: Oh!
I don't know how to date,
DUG: Since you are my Poppa, may I call her my momma?
Please refrain,
Do I shake her hand when I see her?
What do I do?
DUG: Just smell her backward side,
What?
DUG: Smell her backward side,
Then she will do the same, It is how you say hello,
Disgusting!
I'm a person, you know?
DUG: Oh, I am just a dawg,
All right, I'll think about it,
-DUG: No, That is fine, -Dug!
DUG: Humans should be more like a dawg,
Well, what would a dog do?
DUG: I would bring her a toy,
She would wag her tail,
Mmm-hmm,
Okay, Okay,
Yeah, okay!
I gotta go to the store,
(GROANS)
Wallet,
Ah, phooey,
Keys,
Aw! Other way,
DUG: I think Poppa needs to go to the vet,
(CHOMPING)
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
Poppa is back,
Poppa?
Uh, Poppa?
They're, uh, fun, right?
DUG: Uh,,,
I am a dawg,
Fun is digging in the dirt and destroying your flowers,
(GASPS) Flowers!
There's so much to do,
DUG: This is not fun at all,
DUG: Oh! Too much smell!
What? It's a cologne,
DUG: It made my nose get dead,
(SCREAMING)
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
One, two, three, Two, two, three,
-DUG: I have no idea what is happening, -One, two, three,
Oh, yes, The economy is on the rise, yeah,
-Would you agree? -DUG: And what do I say?
Anything!
A new town swimming pool? Great idea,
DUG: I like bugs,
Yes, it does look like a cold front is coming in,
DUG: I chew on your shoes,
(LAUGHS)
You are so witty, (LAUGHS)
DUG: I like to roll in poo,
(GROWLS)
DUG: Get out of here you intruder!
Dug! Dug, it's me!
(EXCLAIMS)
Is it too much?
DUG: You do not look like you,
I know,
DUG: You do not smell like you,
Yeah,
DUG: Why are you not you?
This is crazy, I'm not going,
-DUG: No, I will not let you! -Yes, I must,
Why do you care?
DUG: I do not want you to be sad!
Sit, Poppa!
(GRUNTS)
You will act like a dawg, not a human,
You will bring her a toy and when you see her,
you wag your tail,
and say, "I have just met you and I love you!"
You are my Poppa, and I love you,
and she will love you,
(SIGHS)
Thanks, Dug,
This is it,
Think I got everything,
'Night, Dug,
DUG: Good night, Poppa,
I will go, too,
One more thing,
Hope you don't mind, Ellie,
I guess this is a new kind of adventure for both of us,
I promise I'll be back by 10:00, 11:00, at the latest,
Dug is my chaperone,
He won't let me pitch any woo,
And,,,
Just know,,,
You'll always be my girl,
DUG: Other way,
(CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYING)