Wake up, LA!
It's another sunny day in Hollywood,
A place where all of your dreams can come true
as long as you don't mind who you step on,
Let's face it, LA is the place where anything can happen,
Whether it's your first time or you've been here forever,
the Sun never stops shining like the star you want to be,
In entertainment news,
because what else is there to talk about in Hollywood,
award-winning director, Zac Kawalsky's comeback film,
Deadly Games, enters it's fourth week in shooting
and you have to ask, is it gonna be any good?
The Twittersphere says, "No, Please, no, Make it stop,"
Clips from set revealed that the leading lady,
Isabella Andrews, is being a little bit hard to work with,
You tell me, who wants to work with her husband every day?
And how did Kawalsky ever get her in the first place?
Let's face it, folks, Here is a woman
who could have any guy that she wants,
yet she chooses a director who is past his prime,
and a poor excuse for a prime at that,
With the sci-fi epic Final Answer,
which we wish had have been his final film,
his promising start to the few nominations early on
seems like a distant dream, Did he learn anything new
in his most recent rehab stay?
Defective film, but not nearly as defective
as Zac Kawalsky's End of Time, which still remains to be
one of the worst movies ever made,
This is Craig Sheeran and this-
Let's be honest, folks,
this place is fucked,
What are we doing out here in the desert?
I mean, really, folks, it really is a desert out there,
I try not to get philosophical this early in the morning,
It's a bit heavy,
You don't want it over your cup of joe,
So how about some '80s vibes to get you going?
Watch it!
He's an asshole and stoned all the time,
You can't, Grant, He's an idiot,
Fuck off! Goddamn! Fucking photographers,
Motherfucker!
I still don't know why you can't get me Ethan Burns,
Jesus Christ, Grant, I thought you were my damn agent,
and you're just screwing me over once again,
Listen, Grant, I cannot work in that piece of shit studio,
I don't care if that's the best you could get, Get me better,
Come and get your five dollar special ramen, people,
- And not a cent more, - Come on,
- Five dollars, - Hang on,
Five dollars,
♪ Five dollars Ramen special today ♪
- All right,,, - ♪ Five dollar ramen,,, ♪
I hate it when they do that,
Whoa!
Whoa,
Hey!
Okay, so you're marked as crew
which means you're not allowed to engage with any celebrities,
Move along,
Hold it, Hold it,
Hi, sir, Yes, sir, Welcome, sir,
All right, guys, Let's get a move on, Let's go!
Fred, get on top of things, Let's go!
Hey, what you doing? Get down, You gonna break that,
C'mon, Is this your first time on a rodeo?
Zac, My man,
- Not a good time, Grant, - We need to talk,
Come on, guys, come on, We waive a few hours,
we gotta be out of here, Let's go, Let's go,
Okay, so they're going to be running
this story on this shoot, It's gonna be huge,
It's gonna be the comeback as the director
with his beautiful wife as the star,
Shit, we could have got you a better trailer, huh?
Grant, I've had this trailer for every movie I shot, okay?
It's like a home away from home, and thank fucking God for that,
There's no way this movie's not gonna be a hit,
Really? With that idiot playing the lead male character?
He is up-and-coming hot stuff, Zac,
Nobody cares if he can act or not,
I mean, besides, the movie's not about him,
it's about you and Isabella and the behind-the-scenes chemistry,
Well, let me tell you, that ain't going so great either,
Zac,,,
Zac, you're stressed, you know?
You need to realize that this movie,
it's gonna get your career back on track, man,
Maybe the public will forgive you for, uh, you know,
thrashing that hotel room in Paris,,,
Room service was late,
Making that porn with that 16-year-old,,,
- 21-year-old! - filling footprints
at Grauman's Chinese Theater with your piss,
- That was a good one, - Mel Gibson's footprints,
It's taken the shit out of Craig Sheeran,
Fucking film critics, Fred! Fred!
If you do not turn this over right now, you're fired!
I'm gonna get a new fucking crew here,
Listen, I cannot direct this movie
with that idiot playing Jake,
- TV star, Zac, - I wanted Ethan Burns,
and you refused to get him for me,
Come on, man, I mean, you spent
so much time in rehab, it was,,,
- We had to do the cast, - Jesus, Grant!
I know what I'm doing when it comes to casting,
And I got you a good one for this,
The guy is so dumb, he needs someone
to read the lines for him,
I'm firing him and I wanna get Ethan Burns,
- Zac,,, - He'll be well paid,
- what's the problem? - He won't wanna do it,
You can't get Burns, can you?
- That's what this is all about! - Ethan?
I can get him in a minute,
Then why the hell don't you get him for me?
All right, everyone, Last looks!
Everybody else get off my set!
I asked for a glass of water five minutes ago,
Water! Water!
Who's supposed to bring Ms, Andrews' water?
Oh, no! That cup is not clean,
Deadly Games,
Scene 83,3, take one, Mark,
Action!
You killed my brother,
and now it's time for you to meet your fate,
Cut! Jamie!
Jamie!
You have to react, She's about to hit you,
You can't just stand there,
Oh, sure,
Wait! Where are you?
I'm gonna fucking kill you for this,
Okay, when she hits you, you
take a swipe at her,
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Wait,
Wait a minute!
What do you mean, take a swipe at me?
You mean hit me?
Yes,
Oh, no, No, That was not in the script,
The script says fight scene, What part of fight scene
do you not understand?
I don't have to put up with this,
I'm a producer on this damn project,
You're also a damn actor, Just shut up,
- You shut up! - Guys, chill, Chill,
I have instructions from a plastic surgeon
that I cannot risk anything,
anything
hitting me in the face,
- Jesus Christ! - Okay,
So Jamie just,,,
try not to actually hit her, okay?
- We'll fix it in edit, - Okay,
- What's edit? - Oh,
It's okay, It's okay,
Scene 83,3, Take 22, Mark,
Action!
You killed my brother,
and now it's time for you to meet your fate,
Oh! Oh, my God!
- Cut! - Oh, my God!
Cut!
PA!
- PA! The snacks, Now! - I'm on it, I'm on it,
What the hell was that?
Bella, baby! I need you to be in the moment, okay?
No, you bastard!
I can't believe you didn't warn me about this,
Baby, baby, baby,
I need you to stop worrying about getting hit,
What?
You can do this,
Okay? Just relax,
Trust me,
Just imagine the situation,
This is the guy you secretly love
but he has betrayed you so badly
that right now, you just hate him,
Hate him, you hate him, you hate him,
Just pretend it's me,
Okay, Action!
You killed my brother,
and now it's time for you to meet your fate,
Shit!
Are you dropping stuff?
Are you,,,
I just spent 20 grand on this,
- We need a doctor, - Are you okay? Let me see it,
Can we get a doctor?
I need,,, I need a plastic surgeon,
What happened? What happened? Wait! Wait!
Would you,,, Quiet! Quiet! Just be quiet!
Who crashed what?
She did!
You! Out! Get the fuck off my set,
- You're outta here, - Can I stay
till the end of the scene, please?
- Mr, Kawalsky? - You're out, girl, You're out,
Could security,,, Somebody please escort her to her vehicle?
It's a little unnecessary, don't you think?
Ma'am, we were specifically told to eject you off the premises,
Do I look like a threat to security?
Yes, you are,
You people overreact,
You stupid, unreasonable asshole,
Who fires someone for dropping a tray?
I freaking hope you end up back in drugs, back in rehab,
Did you think I want to be part of your stupid, stupid movie?
No, I got,,,
What the fuck!
Start, Please start,
Oh yeah, Tina, That's perfect,
Yeah!
- Yeah, you like it? - Su,,,
- Hey, Jodea, - Hey, Tina,
Hey, Jodea,
Why is she naked?
Um, we're just getting into character,
Greg needs to adjust my skin tone
so there's no shine,
You need to adjust her skin tones?
Where's Tim? I thought he was directing,
He was needed at the deli shop today,
so I'm directing this,
and acting in it, obviously,
and doing the lighting,
I thought you were on the Kawalsky shoot today,
Yeah, well, I got fired,
Fired? What do you mean?
I mean I got kicked off set and told never to come back,
that kind of fired,
Ah!
Greg? Can we shoot this?
Oh, yeah, Sure,
Sorry, we only have today to shoot this,
'cause tomorrow Tina starts on Malibu Heights,
- You know, the soap? - No, I've been living
under a rock all my life,
Well, it's a speaking part, so it's pretty big,
I guess I'll try make up some extra hours at the takeout,
- Uh,,, - Okay,
Oh, and my car's broken down again,
- Can you pick me up later? - Yeah, Yeah, sure,
Greg, I need my joint,
- Oh, right, - And light,
Guess I'll see you later,
Yeah, this is perfect,
This is gonna be so good,
This is all your fault,
My fault?
That moron was the one who hit you,
I couldn't,,,
I refuse to let you direct me ever again,
No wonder Ethan refuses to work with you,
What? He said that?
Now is not the time to figure this out,
We need to figure out who's gonna play Isabella's role,
No!
Nobody's playing that role,
We're writing it out
- of the script, - Bella,
I mean it, Grant, I'm a producer on this movie
and I have a say in the cast,
Nicole is a key part of the story,
You can't cut her out,
- Why don't we just,,, - No!
- Bella, - I will never work
with him again,
Ethan really said he didn't want to work with me?
Zac, are you okay with writing out the role of Nicole?
What? Are you fucking kidding me?
- No, That role stays, - No, it doesn't,
I'm producing,
I got another call, guys,
You need to figure this out,
Please, don't let me interrupt,
Zac,
That's how he got the part, huh?
You're fired, asshole,
- For what? - It's okay,
You are not gonna believe it,
but the Twittersphere is all over it,
Instagram, too, Even Facebook,
Production on the Kawalsky sci-fi actioner, Deadly Games,
- has halted,,, - Hey,
This follows a trend in Hollywood of actors doing
- their own stunts, - Miss! Miss!
Leading to more injuries,,,
Come on, Come on, come on!
Table one wants the beef ramen,
- It's coming, it's coming, - We're understaffed,
We're understaffed,
- Where's my beef ramen? - It's on its way,
Have I got a newsflash for you,
Ethan Burns will be in,
talking about his latest movie role,
- and it's all about fast cars, - Ethan Burns,
I gave my script to his agent last week,
I thought it was with Tom Cruise,
He never gets back to me, ever!
I got tired of waiting for him to respond,
Beef cup, beef cup, Beef ramen!
- Here you go, - Well, it's about time,
Did you go out and shoot a cow or something?
No, but it'll be shorter next time,
Thank you,
Hey, Greg,
Just wondering where you are,
Hey, Greg, It's me again,
This is the fifth message I'm leaving you,
You were supposed to pick me up, What the hell happened?
Oh, wow!
That's you and Isabella Andrews?
- Uh-huh, - Oh, my God!
- You and Ethan Burns! - Yup,
Ye,,, Oh!
Hey, babe,
You were supposed to pick me up,
Really? I guess I must have forgot,
What the hell is going on?
Oh, yeah!
Greg, are you sleeping with her?
Are you?
Well, you see, babe,,,
I want to actually know, Are you sleeping with her?
Tell me,
Yeah,
How long?
How long has this been going on?
Hey, look,
I have to do this, okay?
Her career's kinda blowing up,
What?
She can help me get a good agent,
And then I can get that agent to sign you too,
I'm not hearing this,
Hey, I'm doing this for you, okay?
For your career,
You're cheating with some slut to help my career,
This is just the way the industry operates,
It's called networking,
Go fuck yourself,
Hello?
Whatever,
Don't scare me, Harold,
Collecting the rent like the Yanks,
Just joking, Just on my way to show you my latest purchase,
This is the actual pistol used in the classic 1971 movie,
- Dirty Harry, - Oh!
- Cool, - Very cool,
Yeah, uh, Car's broken down again,
Can you come with me to the tow yard tomorrow
- to pick it up? - Of course,
And I'll pay you back, of course,
- No, no, no, - I'll have the rent
by Wednesday, I promise,
- I'm so sorry, - No worries,
Get some rest, Give me a knock in the morning,
- All good, - Thanks, Thank you,
- Good night, dear, - Good night,
As the Sun sets across LA,
we'd like to thank all those aspiring actors
who work tables to bring us our coffee,
Thanks for helping me out with the car,
- I'll pay you back, - Nonsense, It's my pleasure,
Let me at least take you out to dinner,
Jodes, I'm your landlord,
and you're a starving crew member,
I will take you to dinner,
Well, I'm not any more,
I got fired from Zac Kawalsky's movie,
- Well, thank God for that, - Why?
Because Zac Kawalsky's a complete idiot,
Who has won two Golden Globes,
He hasn't won two Golden Globes,
Harold, you just don't like any contemporary movies,
You don't like any modern-day directors or actors,
I mean, the other night you were having a go at Ethan Burns,
'Cause Ethan Burns is a hack,
He's not a hack, he's incredible,
And he performed his own stunts in Nightfire, too,
He's not performed his own stunts, He's a hack,
And another hack performed his stunts for him,
Yeah, I saw an interview with Ethan Burns where he admits
that he never lets anyone else do his stunts for him,
He lets me do his,,,
Shouldn't you be on Hollywood Boulevard, Christopher Reeve?
I'm Henry Cavill, asshole,
Oh,
Carry on,
Perhaps give me a haircut,
If just,,, Okay,
We're gonna talk bad movies, let's talk Born in Vegas,
Oh, Born in Vega this, you're onto something,
Born in Vegas, officially the worst movie ever made,
With the worst actors in Hollywood,
- Yes, - Hi,
- Would you like to order?
Have you seen Malcolm X?
No,
I'll have the veggie burger,
You really should see it, It's quite a lovely film,
Would you guys like for me to come back?
No, no, no, no, I,,,
I'll do soup,
Denzel Washington is just brilliant,
I mean, every angle,
Right, Well, I'll be sure to catch it,
Yes, indeed,
When are you going to realize not every Black person
wants to talk about Malcolm X? Not every Native American
wants to talk about Dances with Wolves,
and not every Jewish person wants to hear
about your screenplay where you believe Moses was assassinated,
He was assassinated, And by the way,
I've got the title,
You mean you stopped researching
and have actually started writing?
No,
Just the title,
"Myths of Ancient Monotheism,"
That is a terrible title, Harold,
I don't see why,
Hollywood needs to start telling the truth
in all its brutality, They need to stop
portraying everything as a sappy romance,
All right? Take that awful Amish movie,
They never want to bring in the fact
that the Amish sleep with their siblings,
They sleep with their,,, Brothers and sisters sleep,,,
The Amish, They sleep with their sisters,
Yes?
Hi, Um,,,
I have an appointment with Grant Garino,
He knows me, I met him last week,
- He told me to stop by, - I remember you
from the last time that you were here,
and if you don't leave right now, I'm calling security,
Please,
I just need a shot at this,
Please, just,,,
Please,
Come on,
This is real unnecessary, you know,,,
You know you're not supposed to be here,
I don't need escorting out, It's like,,,
I can go where I want,
Moving it out of my life, When he finds out who sa,,,
Shit!
Okay, All right, Calm down, Zac,
Calm down, No one was hurt, No one was hurt,
Oh, shit!
- The hell are you doing? - What the hell are you doing?
You're supposed to wait for me to pull out,
- Oh, it's you, - Great!
Tray dropper,
Listen, let's not deal with the insurance companies, all right?
They can be a real big pain in the ass,
Just let me take care of it,
- What's your name? - Jodea Maxwell,
- Are you okay? - Oh, I'm just fine,
Aside from the fact I got unjustifiably fired from my job,
broke up with my cheating boyfriend,
got publicly escorted out of ICA
and now I'm without a car, but aside from that, I'm just fine,
Thanks for asking,
Listen, I'm sorry I fired you, We were on a deadline, okay?
Okay, You were on a deadline,
How's Isabella?
- Huh? - Your wife?
She broke her nose?
Oh, yeah, yeah, She's fine,
Listen, I gotta go, okay?
Shit!
Hey! You can't do that,
Lois, we got a runner,
It's not addressed to me, It's addressed to Jodi Maxwell,
Mr, Kawalsky owes me money, He drove into my car,
He spelled my name wrong,
This is your first film in years,
The public will crucify it without seeing it first,
Are you saying I can't sell a film on my own?
Three years ago you were in rehab,
The only reason you are where you are now
is thanks to Isabella,
and me, of course,
Gee, Thanks, Grant, Thanks a lot,
All I'm saying is, just release the movie
and then go through with the divorce,
I am not waiting that long to end this shit,
Remember the last time you didn't take my advice?
Huh? You released the film
at the time of the Craig Sheeran incident,
We lost millions at the box office, Remember?
No, I don't remember, I must have forgot,
Thank you for reminding me,
Look, Let's just finish this movie,
The damn things on hold and it's costing us a fortune,
Well, it's not my fault
the leading asshole is banging my wife,
and decided to break her nose in the process,
Let's move on,
Where are you with cutting the Nicole character?
We are not cutting the Nicole character,
I thought I was very clear on that,
I wanna talk Ethan Burns with you,
If you get Ethan Burns for me,
the movie's a hit, my career is back,
I wanna know why Ethan doesn't wanna work with me,
- Zac, - No, seriously, I wanna know,
There's really no easy way of saying this,
but Ethan's heard all the rumors about the drug abuse
and he doesn't want any part of it,
Jesus, Grant! You're my agent, too,
Tell him how good I am,
or how great it is to work with me,
I need to know you can do this first,
You didn't even ask him, did you?
I can't take that risk of losing Ethan as a client,
How long have we known each other?
For like ten years, And this is how you show your loyalty?
Hollywood's not about loyalty, Zac,
I'm just gonna take this
and give this to Mr, Kawalsky when he comes out,
- Like hell you will, - Excuse me!
So who are we gonna get for the Nicole character?
Isabella was adamant about cutting that role,
I am done with her, okay? You work for me, remember?
Let me see who you have in your books for the Nicole character,
Well, this is one of my favorites,
Here's,,, Britney!
- No, - Oh, come on,
- No, - And then there's Gaby,
No,
- We've got Olivia, - No,
- Zac! - No, no, no,
These are all up-and-coming TV stars,
I don't want some fake-breasted soap opera bimbo, okay? I,,,
I want an unknown for this role,
Someone real,
Unknowns don't sell, Zac,
I've always been best with unknowns,
I can take any actress off the street,
and I'll make them a star,
I'll do it!
I'll do it,
Women, as always, tend to fall in my arms,
Lois! You know you're not supposed
to let anybody in here without calling ahead,
Sorry, Mr, Garino, She just charged in,
No, Just wait!
- You got my name wrong, - What the hell!
Who is this?
I've been thinking, You know, uh,
I can take care of the damage to my car,
which I shouldn't be doing
because it was kinda your fault,
but how about we come to an arrangement?
I'll take care of the damage, and you put me in your film,
- You said you wanted an unknown, - I don't believe this,
I don't fucking believe this,
- Ah, Lois, - Wait,
Lois, just, um,,,
You can leave her,
Thank you, I can handle this,
Thank you,
Please,
- You want a part in my movie? - Yeah!
Well, let's have a read for her, shall we?
I mean, she's probably just as talented
as one of your soap opera bimbos, right?
Zac, is this gonna take long?
Oh, it's okay, I know the lines,
Okay, Ready,
You,,, killed,,, my brother!
Now,,, it's,,, time,,, for you to meet,,, your,,, fate!
You don't understand, I was framed,
I did not kill your brother,
Liar!
Vengeance,,, is,,, mine!
Okay, okay, That's enough,
We'll let you know,
I was really bad, wasn't I?
Shit! Shit!
Look, honey,
There's a point in people's life where they realize
that the profession that they've dreamed of having
isn't gonna work out, so they choose another occupation,
Maybe, I don't know, maybe you should go with waitressing,
Okay? Okay,
Good girl,
Now Mr, Kawalsky and I have a ton of work to do,
so if you don't mind,,,
You have to help me, please, Acting is my life,
I took that job as a PA 'cause I had to be on set,
And then you fired me as a PA,
And that's fine, because I'm not a PA,
You want me to be honest? You're too old,
you're not pretty, and your tits are too small,
And if we shot you from the back of the head
you'd still be too ugly,
Please, I'm just asking for a chance here,
- You can't act! - Then teach me,
You said you could take an unknown and make her a star,
- I heard you, - Lois!
Don't let him call security, please,
I don't need to be taken out twice in a day, Please,
Please,
Fine, You don't need to take me, I'll go,
Oh, that's funny,
Think you can teach that to act?
Did you see the way she moved?
Shit, if you could teach that to act,
I'd convince Ethan Burns to do the lead in the film,
Really?
If I get a performance out of her,
you'll get Ethan Burns for me?
- Huh? - It's a deal,
No, You can't teach that how to act,
I mean, we don't have the time,
Plus you've been struggling with the soap opera stars
and she makes them look like Oscar winners,
Is it a deal, Grant?
No, She,,, She's,,, She can't do it,
- She's too,,, - Let me prove it to you, Okay?
If I get her to act, you get me Burns,
that'll be enough evidence to show you
that I still have not lost my touch,
He won't wanna do it on such short notice,
I thought you said you could get Ethan in a minute,
How long is this getting a performance out of her
going to take?
Give me a week,
Okay, Fine, Deal,
If you get a performance outta her in a week,
I'll get you Ethan,
You're on,
Hey! Wait!
It's okay, Lois, I'll handle this,
All right, You can do it,
provided I coach you, You have one week,
You can't give me a performance by then, you're out,
Deal,
No, Grant, I can do this,
You just concentrate on getting Ethan,
Hold on a second,
- Yeah? - Yo, Zac,
- Jodea's here for a lesson, - Already?
Shit! Hey, I gotta go,
All right, Bring her in,
Hey,
Wow!
Wow! I didn't think your trailer would be so,,,
Yeah, well, They keep trying to give me a bigger trailer,
but I don't really buy into that Hollywood bullshit, so,,,
Don't wanna let go of my baby,
So, Jodea, Jodea, Jodea, Jodea,
What kinda name is that?
It's a mixture of my grandmothers' names,
My dad's mom was Jody, my mom's was Claudea,
So, put them together, you get Jodea,
So, Jodea,
how come someone as intelligent as you
is doing something as stupid as trying to be an actor?
Being an actor is all I ever wanted to do, I guess,
I mean, when I was a little girl,
my grandmother used to take me to the theater
and I used to just watch the actors up there
and wanna be up there,
Then when I got older, she and I
used to watch old movies together,
She was the only one who really encouraged me
to follow my dream,
So, what's your favorite movie?
The Last Time I Saw Paris,
You're a girl after my own heart,
Make no mistake, I'm after it all right,
So you probably know a little bit about the movie already,
Your character's name's Nicole,
She is a Secret Service agent
and she's after revenge from Jake, the protagonist,
I'd love to act as a Secret Service agent,
- What did you just say? - You know, to act,
Did you just say act?
No! You don't act! You never act,
Grant, if you call me about this one more time
you're fired, okay? The bet's still on,
Let's get to work,
Vengeance,,, is,,, mine!
I suck,
Yeah, you do,
Try to remember, you just ran 20 miles to get him,
Okay? You're exhausted,
Maybe I need to get you up and running,
working up a sweat, method acting style,
I need to see the anger in you,
Why this scene is so complicated
is because although you hate him with a passion
you secretly love him,
Yeah, well nothing spells true love
like wanting to kill someone, right?
Yeah, well you'd be surprised what people are capable of,
Have you ever been hurt by someone you love?
All the time,
Tell me about one of those times,
What?
I need to understand my actors,
Know where they're coming from,
Well, I was seeing this guy, and he was an actor,
That's bound to be a fucking disaster,
And we were together six months, and then he cheated on me
with a girl he thought could help his career,
Lowlife scum,
How did you feel when you discovered he cheated on you?
- Angry, - Good,
- Hurt, - Better,
Hurt and angry,
That's what we want here,
Let's do it again,
Action!
You killed my brother,
Now it's time for you to meet your fate,
You don't understand, I was framed,
I never killed your brother,
Liar! Vengeance is mine!
What the hell are you doing?
Punching,
- It said on the script,,, - Yeah, just,,, just don't,
- Okay, - Don't,
You killed my brother,
Now it's time for you to meet your fate,
You killed my brother,
Now it's time,,,
You killed my,,,
- Hello, - Hey,
This is the original movie poster
of A Farewell to Arms,
That's nice, Harold,
Ernest Hemingway hated this version of his movie,
I rather liked it,
Much better than the 1957 version,
David O, Selznick cast his wife in that,
- She was,,, - Harold, I've got work to do,
- Have you got an acting job? - Yes,
In Zac Kawalsky's film,
Has he paid you for the damage on your car yet?
We've come to an arrangement,
Jodes, I hope the arrangement is him fixing your car,
I can't have you running and taking public transport,
especially at night in this town,
He's given me role in his movie instead, Okay?
That weasel!
If he thinks he's just going to,,, just,,,
I'm gonna show up at his,,, I'm gonna show up at his front door,
- You're not gonna,,, - I'll give him a piece
of my mind and then we'll see who's paying,,,
Harold, you're not gonna show up on his doorstep, okay?
Look, I'm a big girl, I made this decision, Please,
It's a great opportunity for me, Okay?
- Just be happy for me, - I'm happy for you,
- Can I please just rehearse? - All right, All right, Well,
I mean, the damage was pretty awful,
Well, it's my decision,
I'm not talking about your car,
I'm talking about his last picture,
Just agree to disagree,
- All right, Carry on, - Okay,
Punching your pillow,
Poor pillow,
Have you got any frame ideas for this?
- Harold! - Sorry, Not here, Never here,
Vengeance,,, is mine!
You sucked,
Henry,
Hey, Zac!
- Hey, man, How are you? - Doing great,
It's been a while since I seen ya,
Well, I've been busy,
Unfortunately, This is my old stomping grounds,
- That's Henry, - Hey, how are ya?
- Hey, - He's been my personal trainer
since I was a kid,
Helped me stay focused,
He's focused,
Well, guys, I'm outta here, man, I'll let you have at it,
- Thanks, - Nice meeting you,
Well, shall we begin?
Acting 101, you've got to identify
with your character,
This has to come naturally, All right,
So stand with your feet shoulders-width apart,
Arms up,
Right foot back,
Bend the knees,
No, Don't bend your shoulders,
Now, right arm back,
Now, the key is
your strength comes from your hips,
Now you try,
I didn't mean that, Sorry,
Guess I'm gonna have to take out extra insurance,
Try to hit the bag,
Again,
Do it again,
Shouldn't we have gloves for this?
Gloves are for pussies,
Think of that lowlife scum who dumped you,
Okay? This is his face,
No, no, no, no, no, Not the bag, Hit me,
- I'm not gonna punch you, - I can take it,
Pathetic!
Harder!
Come on, weakling,
You hit like a girl, Come on, harder!
Oh! Ow!
That's pretty good,
All right, Try it on the bag,
Strength comes from the hips,
I want you to try the lines again for the camera,
Step in the shot,
- There, Ready? - Mm,
Action!
You killed my brother,
Now it's time for,,,
You're too tense, That's the problem here,
Do you remember how I got Isabella to relax
that day on set?
Yeah, When she broke her nose,
Well, actually she didn't really break her nose, but,,,
Okay, Maybe that was a bad example,
You need to start trusting,
I got it, Follow me,
Stay right there,
I want you to run as fast as you can
straight into this wall,
What the he,,, I'm not running into the wall,
It's gonna be okay,
You know why?
Because I won't let you run into it,
You need to trust me,
Can you do that, Jodea?
Can you trust me?
How badly do you want this?
All actors need to learn how to trust,
At some point,,,
you just gotta learn to let go,
Okay, Let's do it!
Aren't you gonna,,,?
Don't you trust me?
I don't know,
- I'll try again, - Go again,
I can't, I can't run into that,
You won't run into it because, like I said,
I won't let you run into it,
How can you be an actress if you can't learn to trust?
I don't know, I,,,
You can do it, Jodea,
You can do it,
Just run as fast as you can right into that wall
like it wasn't even there,
- Okay, - Yeah,
See?
- Do you trust me now? - Okay,
All right, I'm gonna grab your hands,
I wanna get you to your feet,
Whoa, whoa, relax,
Get back down, Relax,
Relax,
I'm gonna pull you to your feet,
You don't do anything,
You need to loosen up, okay?
You need to shake it out, Shake it out,
You know,,,
- All right, Again with lines, - Vengeance is mine,
- Again, - Vengeance is mine,
Is it, looks like the bag is winning here,
Vengeance is mine!
There you go,
- You need to,,, - Vengeance is mine,
Let's take a break,
How come all the women in your scripts
always throw themselves at the men?
How come your heroes don't ever pursue the women?
Well, they're smart, They don't need
the complications of a relationship,
- Didn't you pursue Isabella? - Hell, no,
Just between me and you,
me and Isabella are no longer together,
What?
We're starting with the divorce proceedings
after the movie release,
All right, now, you cannot repeat a word to anybody,
If word gets out, Grant will kill me,
I'm sorry to hear that,
Yeah,,, Well, I'm not,
I really hate that so many marriages today end in divorce,
Yeah, Well, you're talking to the wrong person,
My mom walked out on me when I was five,
I never knew what it was like to grow up
with two parents together,
The old man never spent time with me, so,
I guess that's why I've always,,, always been so driven,
I made my first short film when I was 15,
The rest is history,
So have you ever pursued a woman?
No, Never,
I don't do that,
Every relationship I've ever had,
it just happened,
My passion is my work,
Every woman in my life just has to fit in around it,
- Well, no wonder, - No wonder what?
No wonder all your relationships have been fucking disasters,
Anyways, I got another game for us,
It's called the word game,
I say table, You say chair,
Okay, Like an association thing, I get it,
These game are good because they keep
you thinking, on your feet,
Great with improv,
All right, For example,,,
- Bill, - Money,
- Bank, - Ah,,,
Jeez!
What?
That's my ex,
- Lowlife scum? - The very one,
Let's have some fun,
Surprise!
Jodea!
Hey, how are you, babe?
- Good, How's Tina? - Who?
Tina?
Oh! Oh, yeah, Yeah,
That is over,
She, uh, she's got problems, Drugs and,,,
Yeah, but,,, Hey, um, I tried to get in touch with you,
but I couldn't find you on Facebook,
How you been? You managed to get an agent yet?
Actually, I've got a role in a film,
A short?
Not quite, Um,,,
- Greg, this is Zac, - Hi,
Zac?
Zac Kawalsky?
That's the name they gave me,
Look, listen, We gotta go,
Yeah, We're working on a film together, We gotta get actors,
Um, hey, uh,,,
Could we just do a, um,,,
- Yeah, Nice meeting you, Jed, - It's Greg,
Sorry, I won't be able to see much of you
but Zac and I are kind of busy,
And you understand, right?
I mean, this is how the industry operates,
It's called networking,
Yeah, you should have been there,
Call him an asshole and fire him,
All right, Back to the word game,
- Ex-boyfriend, - Asshole,
- Movie director, - Crazy,
- Actress, - Insane,
Yeah, I know, Trust me, Personal experience,
Actually, you're the only sane actress I know,
Oh, my God! Look at that view!
It's gorgeous out here,
Hey, come on, Let's get back to work,
- Okay, - A seat for you,
- Boy, - Girl,
- Cat, - Dog, Wait!
- Why did you say cat? - Huh?
I said girl, You said cat,
Not all cats are girls,
Well, not all directors are freaks,
Besides, I like cats, They're loyal,
I like dogs,
Because they're always happy to see you,
Cats are happy to see you,
Just afraid to show it,
All right, Let's try our scene again,
I wanted to hate you, but I couldn't,
I love you,
Are you sure that's how you feel?
Oh, sh,,, That was terrible!
I'm sorry, That was really bad,
Actually, you were incredible,
You see, Jodea,
the secret is acting isn't acting,
Acting is being,
Excuse me, Sorry to interrupt you,
There's some guy out here with a British accent,
says his name is Harold,
talking about the movie Malcolm X,
- Harold! - Hello,
How did you get in?
- Ah! You must be Zac Kawalsky, - I must be,
I just wanted to inform you that this arrangement
is grossly unfair,
You see, I've calculated exactly what you owe Jodea,
and it comes to about $5,000, See? Notes here,
Whereas one week of acting lessons
simply adds up to no more than 500,
There's quite a discrepancy there, See?
As you know, Jodea isn't insured,
- She can't afford the repairs, - Harold, no,
Is that so?
That's okay, Calm down,
Why don't we start over? Hi, My name's Zac Kawalsky,
- Harold Jameson, - Good, Nice to meet you,
Now, what the fuck do you want? Are you some kind of actor?
An act,,, No!
- But I am writing a film,,, - Oh, shit!
All about how Moses was assassinated,
You see, according to Sigmund Freud
Moses was actually Egyptian,
Have you got any tea? Earl Grey, dash of milk,
I'm sorry, um, Harold, right?
Listen, I've had a very long day,
so is there, um, is this all you got for me?
No, No, actually, it's not all I've got for you,
See, that movie, directly behind you
is The End of Times, but also the most
historically inaccurate film I've ever seen in my life,
During World War One,
women would never have been allowed into,,,
Women didn't receive the vote minimum until 1918, of course,
And,,,
My movie about Moses is going to be historically accurate,
I know Hollywood fancies,,,
Yeah, right, You know what?
It's time you Brexit exit your ass back to England,
How about that?
Thanks, Fred,
Sorry about that,
It's okay, Fred's in the first AD since day one,
He's trained to handle all types of people,
- Greg, - So how's the bet going?
You wanna give up yet?
She's going, She's going good,
Well, just so you know,
it is Friday,
and we gotta start shooting again on Monday,
Deadline's tomorrow,
Can you shut the fuck up, Grant?
I got this, okay?
Really, 'cause I haven't heard from you in like a week,
That's not a good sign, I mean-
Hello?
All right, You can do this, okay?
Take 87,
Vengeance is mine,
You're trying too hard now,
You need to be more natural,
Close your eyes,
I want you to think about your ex,
I want you to imagine him and her in bed together,
Imagine the way he looks at her,
like he never looked at you,
Take a moment,
I want you to look at me,
What?
I need to see your face,
Okay,
You killed my brother,
Now it's time for you to meet your fate,
Better,
Say the line,
- Vengeance is mine, - Again,
Vengeance is mine, Vengeance is mine,
Vengeance is mine!
I can't do this,
You wanna know why I took you on?
Because the day that you came and asked me for the role,
I saw the passion in your eyes,
The emotion is there, Jodea,
You just need to figure out how to channel it,
One more time,
- You killed my brother, - No!
You killed my brother!
- You killed my br,,, - You're not convincing me,
You killed,,, Oh, jeez! That was terrible,
- You're right it's terrible, - Would you just stop
putting me down, I know I'm shit,
I don't need you telling me about it all the time,
- You killed my brother, - No!
You killed my brother,
- Now, it,,, - All right! Know what?
Let's just forget about this, okay?
- It's a stupid idea! - No! Wait!
- Wait, What are you doing? - You're fucking terrible,
- Screw you! - Then convince me,
You killed my brother, Now it's time
- for you to meet your fate, - You don't understand,
I was framed, I never killed your brother,
Liar!
Vengeance is mine,
Yes!
Yes, see?
- You did it! - I did it?
- You mean,,, You mean I was good? - Hell, yeah!
Yes!
- Really? - Do I ever bullshit you?
Not bad,
Not bad?
She's fucking great,
A bet is a bet
and you lost,
Hey, Ethan? It's me,
How come there are never any elite female characters
in your movies?
Well, End of Time had that one
tiny little role for a woman where you seemed to be making
a really historically inaccurate feminist statement
by making her an army general in World War One,
This didn't have any women,
Oh, except that idiot, who just took her clothes off,
Deadly Games has Nicole who's in two scenes,
I write things I can relate to,
So you can't relate to women?
I got something for you,
It's for your car,
Oh, and look! I got your name right,
You didn't have to, I mean, that was,,,
Our deal was you were gonna coach me,
Fuck the deal, I want to,
Thanks,
Better get some rest,
Yeah, I can't believe we're shooting my scenes already,
Yeah, You proved to me that you can do it,
so you deserve it,
I,,, I moved here right out of school,
I,,, I defied my dad who wanted me to be a lawyer
and I thought I'd be famous within a year,
And I always pretend to my family
that I'm getting all these auditions,
and every Christmas I have to have
another opportunity for them to get excited about,
You know what's really sad?
Is they,,, they listen, and they say, great,
Then as soon as my back's turned, they shook their heads,
I can't even fool them,
I really hope I don't fuck this up,
Listen,
You're gonna do great, okay?
I should go,
It's been just one week since Kawalsky
halted production on his new thriller,
Deadly Games,
This time due to casting issue,
It would have been easier to replace
the entire cast, but anyhow,
Ethan Burns has replaced TV star, Jamie Manfrin
in the lead role, Rumor has it,
Oscar winner Burns, refused to work with Kawalsky
due to his previous drug use and the Craig Sheeran incident,
But hey, it's Hollywood, Everyone needs a fifth car,
The question remains, will Zac
get back on top, or back in rehab?
And who will replace Isabella Andrews?
- Carry this for me, love, - No one knows,
And no one cares,
You trailer's ready,
Thank you, Sandra,
But I don't think I'll be using it today,
- Wow, - It looks amazing,
- Look how well-lit that is, - He's done a brilliant job,
- Beautiful, right? - Yeah,
- Absolutely, - Hey, Steve? Steve!
Come on, Let's get a little bit more light right there,
You know, you could tell him what a good job he's done,
And Steve,
it looks fantastic, Great job,
Come on, Zac, I need you now,
Hey, everybody get off my set,
Didn't I tell you that Mr, Kawalsky
wanted this to be a closed set?
- What part of my lips,,, - Hey, I held this for you,
Thanks, Melody,
So,,,
You have that scene with Ethan,
Hi, I'm Jodea,
This your first feature film there, Jody?
Well, yeah, I mean I,,, I've done a lot of shorts,
a lot of, um, I mean, I did this one short, Control,
It won a whole lot of film festivals, It was really cool,
It was just a really, really cool murder story,
You ever see a film called Born in Vegas?
Oh, yeah, yeah, My friend Harold,
thinks that that is the worst acting ever,
Have you seen it?
I had the lead role in that film,
- Hey! - Hey,
- How you doing? - Good,
Good, Are you ready?
Ready as I'm gonna be,
Well, you look great, okay?
Just remember,,, Remember to trust,
- I will, - Okay,
Zac,
Darling,
Isabella,
What are you doing here?
Co-producing, remember?
And who is this?
I think we need to talk,
You have no right to say anything, okay?
You were screwing around with your little boy toy,
genius, Einstein of yours, right under my nose,
Okay? So cut the crap,
Stay out of my business,
- Zac, - We'll talk about this later,
Okay? We've got a scene to shoot,
Deadly Games, 83,3, Take one,
Action,
You killed my brother,
Now it's,,, time for you to meet,,,
- Cut! - I'm sorry,
Cut,
Let's go again,
You killed my brother,
- Now,,, - Cut!
- Sorry, - Take seven,
- Action, - You killed my father,,,
I mean brother, I'm,,,
Take 11, Mark,
- You killed my brother, - Cut!
I gotta say action first, okay?
Let's go again,
Where did Zac find her?
Don't even go there,
Take 17, Mark,
- Action, - You killed my brother,
- Now it's time for,,, I'm sorry, - Cut,
- Take 19, - Action,
You killed my brother,
- Now it's time for you to fake,,, - Cut,
- Zac, - Jodea,
- You wanna take a five? - No, I'm fine, I'm fine,
- Are you sure? - I'll be fine,
Past midnight, My reputation is at,,,
- Grant, - stake,
Hey, it's okay, You tried,
It's not working,
- Grant! - You got Ethan,
- Let's bring Isabella back, - Grant!
Yeah?
Go fuck yourself!
Remember your ex-boyfriend?
Remember the pain he caused you, all that pain inside you,
You gotta unleash that pain, unleash that anger,
Ethan's your ex-boyfriend, Unleash,
- Okay, - Release that,
Okay,
Remember our training?
Zac, Zac, can I talk to you for a minute?
She is so bad,
He's gotta be fucking her,
Hey guys, we're just gonna go for one more take,
right,
Take 33, Mark,
Action,
You killed my brother,
Now it's time for you to meet your fate,
You don't understand, I was framed,
I did not kill your brother,
Liar!
Vengeance is mine!
Cut!
- Sweet! - Damn fucking-tastic!
Ethan? Ethan!
Ethan? Are you all right? Are you all right?
Ethan?
Wow! You see?
I knew you could do it, okay? You remembered your training,
You did everything I told you to do,
It's true, I perform my own stunts,
All the best, Ethan,
Dolly around, pan around then close up right there,
No, In your fucking dreams, No, no, no shots,
You know what? On this take, give it everything you got,
Action,
I love you,
Cut,
Yeah, All right, yeah, Let's do it, Are you ready?
And action!
Cut!
It's a wrap!
It's a wrap, people,
You were great,
Yeah, good job, Yeah, thank you,
Thank you people, Thank you for your time,
Ethan, Come on,
I think you should play Ethan's leading lady in Nightfire Three,
- What do you say? - Yeah!
Yeah? You got it,
I wanna get you fighting Ethan again,
How many scenes is she in?
Only two, but they're great fighting scenes,
Another action film?
Well, yeah,
- It's what I'm know for, right? - It doesn't have to be,
This dramatic piece you've written is excellent,
It's just something I'm working on the side,
It's not something I'm passionate about,
- A dream piece, - Well you should do more drama,
- You write it really well, - According to your friend,
- I'm inaccurate in my research, - Well yeah, you are,
but you can always improve,
Really think it's good?
Well, the girl's a bit of an idiot,
She's not an idiot,
Yeah, she is, She works in a café,
All these people are waiting for their food
and she stands there balling her eyes out
because some deadshit dumped her, She's an idiot,
Well, yeah, because I'm sure that when,,,
Have you ever worked in a café?
Um, no, but,,,
Well, Mr, Kawalsky,
I believe you need to research your films better,
No, no, no, no, no, Don't look in there,
Flavor's over there, not over here, Don't come here,
Hurry up with the flavors, we've customers waiting,
I got it, I got it,
Oh, God!
Identify with your characters,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, How's this film going, Shlomo?
- Who's,,,? - Oh, it's going good, um,
Today we gave my script to Isabella Andrews' agent,
Watch, She'll drop out,
She's a fuckin' pain in the ass to work with,
Quiet, dude, We've got customers,
Okay,
You take care of the customers,
- I'll do the flavors, - Yeah,
Next!
Why you bring me such a moron?
We were short-staffed, remember?
- Hi, - Yeah, hi,
- Hi, - How many calories
- are in your skinny latte? - Five hundred,
Um, okay? How many are in your non-fat milkshake?
I,,, A thousand?
Look, ladies, I don't know, okay?
Okay? Everything's fattening here,
Okay,
- Two waters? - Yeah, we'll have two waters,
Can you do that?
Yes,
Where did you find this?
I found him around,
He needs the experience, Shlomo,
They should pay me for the experience,
- All right, um,,, - Thanks,
- Do you take debit? - Yeah, I think so,
Um, hold on,
Um, we have an audition
and you're making us super later,
It'd be a lot quicker if you just had cash, Do you have cash?
What are you doing?
We do not needs straws, dude, Save the turtles,
- Yeah, save the turtles, dude, - Yeah, save the turtles,
Save Vegas,
Let's see, I'll have a,,,
Oh, hello!
Looks like the,,,
directing career didn't quite work,
Can I help you?
I suppose you could get me some accuracy in your movies,
As Cr-Craig Sheeran
so eloquently said, "People respect facts,"
You tend to lean away from them,
What are you, meshugenah?
A meshugenah idiot,
Your first hit,
You lasted one hour at a real job, You suck,
Shut up,
Zac?
What really happened the night you beat up Craig Sheeran?
It was my fault,
I was angry, I was stupid,
He gave me a bad review,
He mocked my film,
Said I couldn't direct a drama if it would save my life,
I swore that if I ever met him in person,
I would punch him right in the fuckin' face,
And you did,
Yeah, well unfortunately I was at a party when I met him,
after I'd done a shit ton of coke,
All of a sudden, he was on the ground,
Blood coming out of his nose and everything,
Right then and there I knew I had to turn my life around,
Checked into rehab
and never touched drugs since,
And never directed a drama since either,
Well, I guess I don't want to take any more risks,
But isn't life about taking risks?
You're taking her to the premiere?
- Uh-huh, - You can't do that,
- Why not? We're dating, - What about Isabella?
What about Isabella?
Haven't seen or talked to her in months,
Zac, I know the public better than you,
and this is your comeback movie,
If they think you've mistreated Isabella
- they're going to boycott it, - Grant,
I'm serious, Century Films just signed on
to Nightfire Three,
Deadly Games has to sell otherwise they might pull out,
They're not gonna pull out, We still have Ethan Burns,
Oh, yeah, Thank God,
after that girl nearly broke his face,
Will you shut up, You're pissing me off more than usual,
I don't know what you see in her, man,
I mean, she's not gorgeous, She can barely act,
Grant!
Okay, okay, Look,
You are going to the premiere with Isabella,
That's the end of it, We need Deadly Games to sell,
You're not going to the premiere with Judy, Jody,
- whatever the hell her name is, - Jodea,
Watch me,
Bella,
We need to do something,
He's taking this bitch to the premiere,
Is this movie going to be any more accurate
- than his last one? - Harold, there were
historically inaccurate movies made before 1960,
Yes, but they had talent,
Zac has talent,
How do I look?
Perfect,
Hey,
Who is she? Who is she?
Why are you cheating on Isabella?
Is this the woman who ruined your marriage?
Who is she?
Why are you running away?
It's not Isabella,
This way,
We are still together, We are still together,
And Jodea, she's the lead actress in the film,
She had car trouble, Some idiot ran into the back of her car,
So who better to ride in a limo,
- Zac, - Me and Bella are still together
and still very much in love,
Okay? Thank you, Thank you, guys, We gotta go,
Thank you,
- Congratulations, - Thank you,
I didn't think you could do it, Strange to think
if I hadn't said anything to Zac,
he never would have taken you on,
He didn't want to work with you to begin with,
He thought you had no talent at all,
Until we made that bet, of course,
What?
- He didn't tell you? - No,
He had no intention of casting you,
He, uh, just really wanted Ethan Burns,
until I said, as a joke you know,
if he could get a performance out of you,
I'd get Ethan to do this film,
It was just a joke,
I didn't think he could do it,
but old Zaccie managed to pull it off,
Jodea, are you in love with Zac?
Can you comment on the affair?
How long has it been going on for?
Zac, Not a bad movie,
Craig Sheeran, Nice to see you,
Maybe one of these days you'll make a movie
where you know something about the subject matter,
Well, since the movie's about a reformed drug addict
who beats up fuckwads,
I think I know more than enough about the subject matter,
- You can ride with me, - Thanks,
But I don't want to get in a car with Zac right now,
What?
- I'm sorry, - Sorry for what?
For the fact that I was part of a bet?
All that stuff you told me about thinking I had potential,
about seeing the passion in my eyes,
that was all lies, huh?
I did see something I liked about you, okay?
The day that you auditioned for me,
But it was the bet that made you take me on, right?
Not the fact you thought I had potential?
I do think you have potential,
I saw something inside you,
something I know will take you places,
Right then and there, I knew I wanted you in my film,
And what was with saying I'm just some dumb actress
who needed a ride in your limo, and you're still with Isabella?
I wasn't prepared for the questions, I panicked,
Please, Jodea, What was I supposed to say?
Could have told the truth about it,
Fred, can you go back to your fucking car
and go home? Please?
- I'll be in the car, - Okay, Thanks, Fred,
Listen, I'm sorry that I behaved like a total jerk,
but please, please try to understand,
Know what, Zac? I do understand,
When you took me on I thought, "Wow, here's someone
so different from everyone else in this world,"
And I thought you were someone who is truly passionate
about what you did,
But I was wrong,
Suppose I'm more than just her landlord,
She's lived here for nearly seven years,
She's a jolly good actress, Here she is, Here she is,
You know, your whole truth is already within you,
Here's my card, Keith from the Church of Scientology,
Zac, the public is going with Isabella on this,
Yeah,
They're bringing out the drug stories again,
What the hell do you want me to do about it, Grant?
I'd like you to take this girl, have your affair with her
- and lay low, - There is no affair,
She broke it off,
We'll put out a press release,
Tell everybody it was a mistake,
What the fuck difference does it make?
They're gonna find out about the divorce
one way or the other,
Divorce? No,
Zac, you need to patch things up,
What? Forget about it, Grant, Okay? It's over,
It's critical the public sees that you weren't cheating,
All right, Enough, okay?
I don't wanna talk about this anymore, okay?
Let's just talk about the movie,
Okay,
I was thinking for the lead role, Amanda,
Jodea's playing the lead role,
Zac, you can't do this,
You cannot cast her in this film,
She can't carry a movie, She can't open a movie,
She's not a name,
Well, my mind's made up, so if you don't like it tough,
This is a $10,000 collectible,
Come on, Zac, This is your career,
You cast her and you're jeopardizing the film,
And the public's gonna know that you were cheating,
Fuck the public!
Zac,
Zac!
How many marriages have you wrecked in Hollywood?
- Oh, my God, That's her, - Oh, the home-wrecker
I can't believe she did that,
Oh, my God, I saw Isabella's Twitter,
She's heartbroken,
- Lois, - Yes, sir,
You don't happen to have that Jody girl's number, do you?
That'll be two fifty,
Thank you,
One latte with almond milk,
Slut,
Keep it,
Maybe for a better haircut,
You're the one having an affair with Zac Kawalsky,
I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong person,
No, Your name's Jodea, right?
- Hello, - Jodea?
- Grant Garino, - Yeah,
Hi, I just wanted to let you know
that Zac and I were discussing the next film,
and we didn't really think that you should participate,
You know, there's so much scandal around you right now
that I don't think it's a good idea
if you contact him as well,
You see, Zac and Isabella are back together again,
Fuck you,
Hello?
- What the hell is going on? - Jodea, hey,
I was just about to come see you,
- Well don't, - Will you just listen
- for a fucking second? - No, I can't,
Stay the hell out of my life, Zac,
What the hell were you thinking,
talking to those reporters about me?
Jodes, I thought you'd appreciate
- the fame a bit longer, - That I'd appreciate,,,
What were you thinking? Harold, don't you get it?
You can't do that,
Jodes, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to upset you, Just go,
- I can't talk to you right now, - Aw, Jodes,
I'm sorry,
Please go,
Um, all right,
- Excuse me, - Just hold on a minute,
Yeah, Can I take a picture with you, please?
Sure, Come round,
What do you mean, you're pulling out of the film
- with Ethan, - I mean just that
I'm finally doing my dramatic piece,
And this time, the lead role's a female,
You can't write drama,
What am I supposed to tell Ethan?
You'll think of something,
- Hey, Lois, How you doing? - Hey, Zac,
Have you spoken to Jodea lately?
No, Why?
I'm not surprised,
She would have been pretty upset after Grant told her
you and Isabella were back together,
Someone needs to talk some sense into this guy,
Fuck, Grant! You told Jodea
that I was back together with Isabella?
Zac, everything I do, I do for your career,
You seem to enjoy undermining me at every turn,
I am fucking tired of this shit!
Okay? All right,
I'll have who I wanna have in my movie,
and I'll have who I wanna have in my life,
Okay, Okay, Let's just relax, all right?
Relax? Fuck that! You're fired,
If you're doing this for a woman, Kawalsky,
you're fucking stupid,
I sacrificed everything for you,
I saved your career,
You'll never get better than me!
Thank you, Have a good day,
Thank you,
I want you to be in my movie, Beyond Eternity,
I rewrote the female character
so she's no longer a complete idiot,
I'm not directing Ethan's film,
and what Grant told you was complete lies,
I haven't seen Isabella since the premiere,
When I found out what Grant told you, fired him,
Okay, this is really fucking hard for me, Jodea,
Okay?
I care about you,
Come on, Just give us another chance,
Be in my movie,
Most importantly,
be in my life,
Zac, I appreciate the offer, but I can't,
I mean, I'm not the same person
you took on board a few months ago,
I've had a really cruel awakening,
- Hey, Jodea, - Hey,
I need a Coke Zero,
Just wait,
Can I get a selfie?
Sure, Yeah,
The Final Answer is my favorite movie,
Thank you, I wish it was mine too,
You know, I've a,,, I've done some acting,
Bye, Zac,
It's not just about you, it's also about me,
I mean, whatever happens between us,
I'm always going to be painted
as the slut who wrecked your marriage,
I've had to open newspapers
and see myself described as a home-wrecking whore,
I had reporters ask me if I used to be a stripper,
To you this is all fun and games,
I mean, you have an affair with your actress in one movie,
Then you move on to your next movie,
have an affair with another actress,
As long as they fit in around your schedule, it's okay,
I can't do that,
I'm someone who wants the complication of a relationship,
Jody! I need help with the ramen,
I still wanna be an actress,
a really good one,
but till I get there, I'm stuck here
with a boss who still can't say my name,
Well, there's a role here waiting for you,
Thanks,
I think I'll pass,
Okay,
Well, if you change your mind,,,
lemme know,
Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm not employing you again,
Sorry to hear that,
- Thank you, - Hello,
Hi,
Have you seen Malcolm X?
For the hundredth time, yes,
Jodea, your friend Malcolm X is here,
Excellent, She remembers me,
I heard you turned down Zac Kawalsky,
Where did you hear that?
It came over Twitter about an hour ago,
Hot news,
Ah! Wow!
Yeah, Harold, You've got to stop talking
to Black people about Malcolm X,
Jodes,,,
It's just I can't help it, I love that film,
And I get nervous of speaking to women and people,
And I thought,,,
It's,,, I'd rather,,,
Why don't you go out with me?
What?
There is such a thing as a nice guy, and that,,,
I figured that's sort of me,
Will you go out with me on a date?
Um,,,
But I'm fairly well off,
and I don't owe anyone any money,
And I love movies,
and you want to be in movies,
And I could have you move into the main house
and get out of that rubbish trailer,
and you wouldn't have to work here, of course,
You could just live with me, Be happy,
Harold, no,
Yes, but you see, you haven't given me
a logical explanation as to why,
Because, Harold, some things aren't logical,
Some things you can't research, Some things you can't analyze,
Some things you just have to feel,
And if it doesn't feel right, it's not gonna work,
I love you,
but I love you like a brother,
An Amish brother?
You know Kawalsky started shooting his new movie already?
Uh-huh,
What are you doing?
Typing up my resumé,
I have appointments with agents lined up,
One's Zac got for you?
I'm capable of getting my own agent, Harold,
- Have you spoken to him at all? - Nope,
And I don't know, I don't wanna see Zac Kawalsky
for about a decade, so,,,
It's quite a long time,
They mention you in here,
Complications have arisen over the fact
that Kawalsky terminated the contract with Ethan Burns,
choosing instead to work on his passion project,
Beyond Eternity,
He wanted the lead role to be played by Jillian Maxwell,
Reports on Twitter leaked that Maxwell
turned down the role in the new film
due to negative publicity she received on Deadly Games,
Kawalsky held up the start of the shoot,
reluctant to cast anyone else,
Due to pressure from the producers,
Kawalsky was forced to start shooting this week,
He finally cast Spanish beauty, Natasha Nate,,,
Natasha Navo in the role,
No, No, Fred,
What the hell are you talking about?
I am telling you that I am just not gonna go run around the lot,
It's not gonna happen, It's not gonna happen, Fred,
You know what? Don't shoot the messenger,
I'm gonna get Zac, and you guys can sort this out,
Fine! Go get Zac,
Look at me! Oh, well, listen to me!
Listen to me, Zac,
It is not in my contract
to look either sweaty or ugly,
That is not what you said,
That is never what you said,
- You're an actor, - How dare you?
I am not an actor, I am a star,
And I don't have to put up with this shit, Fred,
- I mean, Zac, - You're shitting,,,
When asked about whether there was
something more going on
between Maxwell and himself,
of course his response was,,,
"No,"
"but I'd like there to be,"
- Where are you going, - I'm going to him, Harold,
Jodea, he's not even that great a director,
He's won two Golden Globes,
He hasn't won two Golden Globes,
How do you feel about Zac up there
with his new leading lady?
See you tomorrow,
Don't think of it, lady,
Shit! Come on,
- This is what we're gonna do,,, - Fred!
You are going to fix this
- and I,,, - Fred!
I am not going,,,
'Scuse me, I gotta talk to Zac,
No, I am calling my agent,
I'm gonna go call my agent,
Hey! Hey, lady, Stop!
Zac, we can't shoot scene 72, We don't have the time,
I don't care, We can't wait,
We're gonna go ahead
and shoot the next scene,
All right everybody,
We got two hours to shoot scene 72,
so chop-shop, Let's get to this,
Get off my set!
- Zac? - Yeah,
I got Natasha's agent on the phone,
Okay,
Natasha's pulled out,
We're never gonna finish this movie,
Really? Are you shitting me?
Who the hell was that now?
Damn light! Sorry,
Zac?
Hi,
I hope you're listening to this,
I just wanted to tell you,,,
thanks so much for,,,
what you said about me, and,,,
it really meant a lot,
And I'm so glad that you,,,
you're doing a drama with a strong female, and,,,
I just wanted to say thank you for everything,,,
everything that you've done for me, and,,,
I should probably get going now,
I know you've got a long day ahead of you,
so, uh,,, Yeah,
- Hi, - Hi,
- It's good seeing you, - You too,
You heard all that?
Uh-huh,
Uh,,,
I should probably get going, I know you've got,,,
Wait!
How quickly d'you think you could
get through wardrobe and makeup?
Uh,,,
I want you to be my leading lady,
- Natasha's,,, - She's gone,
Makeup, Makeup,
Wait a minute, If I'm your leading lady
you're gonna have to be on set
because I'm not communicating with a chair,
Deal,
- Okay, - Wait!
Sorry, Mr, K, I know you didn't want this guy to come in here,
Zac Kawalsky has only been nominated
for one Golden Globe and one People's Choice Award,
Which of course, is the most rubbish of all the awards,
What, no Oscar?
No Oscar,
- Still wanna be with me? - Uh, yeah,
All right, All right, All right,
Enough with the tongue tango,
We only got two hours to shoot the film,
I gotta fix my damn light, I need some,,,
You two, get a room,
Let's get going, people, We've got two hours, Let's go,
What part of my lips did you not understand?
He's quite angry,
Yeah, it's Fred,
Have you,,, Well, you know,,,
Have you seen, uh,,,
How do you feel about Malcolm X?
I'm so,,,
You said Malcolm X, and,,,
Right, It's never actually worked before,
If I were doing this
I would have her lying down,
Get yourself some,,,
Damn yoga,
So, you might as well,,,
So you might as well,,,
So you might as well ask,,, Fuck,
So you,,, So you,,,
So you might as well,
Who's that,,,?
Sorry, I stopped listening to you,
This is a wrap, Not like a rap video,
This is a wrap as in we get the fuck outta here,
No shots, No lights, No camera, We're out,
We're done, Zap, Zip,
Sure, You got it, You got it,
Make you look beautiful,
Cut, That's a wrap,
Get off my set!