- Oi! Where a helmet, - Sod off,
- Delia, - Morning, Sister,
Uh, Lillian Ashman,
Lilian Ashman, - Yes, darling, - Oh, hello, Lillian,
Oh dear, What have you―? What have we done here? - Oh, I don't know,
- Aw, Well, shall we get it cleaned up, and then you can see the doctor?
OK, Follow me,
You OK?
Good,
Come on, then,
- What are you gonna wear? - The jumpsuit?
- Yeah, what are you gonna wear?
- Maybe the denim― Do you know the denim jumpsuit I got?
Do you know that girl,,,?
- Hello, everybody, - Hi,
- Hi, everybody, - Oi,
- Ooh, Peru, Now, there's a place I would love to visit,
One day, eh, um,,,
Delia,
- Oh, you're in now, Delia, You should make a move,
Oh, she's such an oddball,
What? Oh, it was a joke, - Be nice, Imelda,
Fancy joining us for a drink?
- Oh, I don't think the others would want me there,
- It's not the others that's asking, is it?
- Another?
- No, I've gotta go, You wanna walk to the Tube? - No, no, I'm gonna stay for a drink,
- You'll be all right on your own? - Yeah, sure,
- OK, Good luck with that guy, - What guy?
- You're a dark horse, Delia, I want details on Monday,
- You look like you could do with a hand, What are you drinking?
- Oh, uh, pint of real ale, please, Thank you, Let me give you some―
- It's all right, Go on, I've got this,
I'm John, - Delia,
- Excuse me, Can I get a pint of real ale and the same again for me? Thanks,
I'm a chippie ― carpenter, Work all over, Germany, mostly,
Money's good over there, you know, - I've never been to Germany,
I love travelling, I am a traveller ― not a tourist; very much a traveller, Hot countries, though,I need,,,
sun and heat,
- So, are you American?
No, No,
I am not American,
No, I was born in Australia, and then I spent the first 13 years of my life in Ontario, Canada,
and then we moved to Detroit, Michigan,
When I was 19, I came over here to live with my grandparents in Scotland, and then London,
I wanted to be a ballet dancer, but, um,,,
it― it didn't work out,
- Why's that? You're a great dancer,
- Ballet's very different, It's, um,,, It's very disciplined, very technical,
- Oh, right, Well, maybe it just wasn't for you,
You're a bit of a free spirit, aren't ya? I can tell that by the way you were moving,
Last orders!
Ladies and gentlemen, that is last orders,
- Do you wanna come back to mine?
- Sure,
Oh!
Damn thing,
- Looks like the frame's warped, - Is it?
- I'm a carpenter; I told you, - Oh, yeah, that's right; you said,
Come in,
- These all from your travels? - Yeah,
Oh, that's an incense holder, It's in the shape of the Hindu 'Om' sign,
I bought it in a holy Hindu town on the banks of the river Ganges,
I made that,
Yeah, I was in Mexico, walking along the beach, and I found it, It's coral,
Yeah, you see, so, um, yeah, Israel, Sri Lanka, - Mm-hm,
- Um, Honduras, Kenya,
And,,,
Yeah, Mexico, - That's impressive, that, I've only been to places in Europe,
- Oh, there's some beautiful places in Europe,
- Have you been to Amsterdam? That's the last place I was in,
It's interesting, that city, you know,
Haven't got much furniture, have ya?
- Exactly! I wanna feel that I can leave any time I want,
You know, my wardrobe is a suitcase, and my bed is a sleeping bag,
But, I mean, I like where I live to be nice, though,
I mean, when I moved in here, I painted the whole place myself,
- Oh, yeah? Done a good job there, girl,
- I love colourful things, I bought this rug in Camden Market,
Yeah, it's colourful, that,
- You should sit down, Your tea's getting cold, - Oh, yeah,
- Oh! - Sorry,
- Oh, it's all over my rug, I wanted to keep it nice,
- It's all right, It's only a bit of tea,
Sorry about that,
- You should be more careful, - Pardon?
- You should go, It's late,
- Before I do any more damage?
Well, I'm sorry about your rug,
Do you wanna go out another time? - I won't have time, I'm very busy,
- Sound,
- He seemed nice too ― different,
- Did you get his number? - Doubt he has one, He lives in a squat,
- Maybe you'll see him again at the pub,
- Oh, no, I'd be too embarrassed to talk to him,
Think I might write him a letter, - A letter?
- Yeah, explaining that I didn't mean to be rude, then I could give it to him, and then,,,
he can decide what he wants to do,
'John, I have been worried that I might have hurt your feelings,'
'You asked me if I would like to meet again, and I said no, because I was too busy,'
'It is true that I am busy, Also, I tend to keep to myself,
'I have no been thinking about meeting anyone, but if you still want to meet, I would like to meet you,'
'Anyway, I just wanted you to know that and that I didn't mean to be rude, Delia,'
Hi, Ma, It's Melissa,
I just called to wish you a happy birthday,
I'm gonna be getting a fax machine some time soon,
so I'll call and be able to leave that number with you anyway,
Have a good time and take care of yourself, Goodbye, Love you,
- That's the last time any of us heard her voice,
I filed a missing person report with you people a year ago and call repeatedly, but,,,
it's always the same,
Nothing, - With respect, Mr Halstead, because there is nothing,
- Because nobody here gives a damn,
That's Melissa seven years ago,
It's the most recent photograph we have,
She was a model, travelled all over the world, then she went her way, and we lost touch withher,
Melissa was a free spirit,
It's just not like her to vanish without a word,
- This is for you,
- You had me worried for a minute there ―
thought it might have been the cleaning bill for your rug,
- Oh, I-I would never do that, - Wha― I'm joking,
Do you wanna come back to mine this time?
- Uh, might be safer,
- We've got the place to ourselves, The lads I share with are working nights,
Right,
- What's that for?
- Tara, me pet tarantula,
- Hmm, Unusual pet,
- Is it? - It's cheaper than a dog,
- Don't have to walk it,
You're an unconventional person, - Yep, Always going me own way, - Me too,
- Yeah?
- It's made me happy, though,
- What? Being an outsider?
- That's exactly how I feel ― how I felt all my fucking life,
How old are you?
- 34,
Why?
How old are you? - 40,
- No,
Eh?
Mm-hm,
Are you disgusted I'm so old?
- No,
40's not old,
- Delia! Hello, - Hi, Janice, This is John,
- All right? You must be the birthday girl, - Yeah, Come in,
Make yourselves at home, - We've brought you some wine, - Ooh,
- This is gonna be a riot,
- Oh, there's Leah,
Delia, you made it,
Oh, and this must be John, Finally!
- All right, Leah? - Yeah,
- Nice to meet you, - Yeah, nice to meet you,
Uh, this is Manuela, Manuela, Delia, John, - You all right?
Where'd you get the drinks? - Oh, through there,
- Do you want any? - Yeah,
- She's a fast worker, this one, Pulled John in a pub the moment I turn my back,
- I didn't pull him, whatever that means,
- Ignore her, Delia, I love her, but she's a brat sometimes, - Hey! A little loyalty, you,
- All right, ladies ― canapes, ie crisps and sausages on a stick,
- Yes, I'm starving, - Ready salted and some cheese, And we have another punter, There weare,
- Oh, cheers, Thanks, - Oh, clearly a vegetarian,
- Give us a stick of celery next time,
- That's a fantastic dress, Delia,
- 'Clearly, a vegetarian,' Clearly, a posh twat,
He fancies you, - No, he doesn't,
- He does, My antenna are never wrong,
Leah seems all right, Is she a lesbian?
- Yeah, I didn't know that about Leah,
- You better watch yourself,
Here,
- Can you not? It's not that kind of party,
- Why? Because they're a bunch of stiffs?
You care too much what people think, Here,
God, I'm dying for a piss,
What are you doing?
John,
John, don't do that, John,
John, don't do that,
- All right, ladies?
- It's her home, We were her guests, It's all right for you, John; she's not your boss,
- Oh, wait, well, first off, she's not your boss; you're an agency nurse,
- No, no, But she is, She is my boss, - And secondly, you don't have to be polite all the fucking time,
You've plenty of time to be a boring conformist later,
Fuck them, I say, Fuck them all,
Fuck them all!
Fuck,
- I didn't appreciate John urinating on my plants, Delia,
The patio smelt like a pub toilet the morning after,
- Yeah, sorry, John is just― John had a lot to drink, and not that that's any excuse, so,,,
You're not gonna tell the agency, are you?
- No, 'course not, I just mention it,,,
Maybe just have a word with John about his manners, - Yeah, thank you,
You just can't stand that I've got a boyfriend,
Yeah, Delia, cos he's such a catch
- You like John, don't you? - He's your boyfriend, Delia, What's it matter what I think?
- John says I care too much about what people think,
- Does he or does he not make you happy? - He makes me feel less alone,
- You do realise that's not the greatest reason in the world to be with someone?
- If you don't like him, just say so,
- I'm not saying that,
- Hello, Delia, - Hiya, - Hello, Mrs Wilson,
Delia,
- Hi, - Thought I could fix your door,
- Oh, you really don't have to do that, - I'll take that,
Evening, - Hiya,
Try,
- Bye,
- Come in,
- Would you like to move in with me? We'd have to share the bills,
- Yes,
I'm gonna take such good care of you,
Oh,,,
- Astrid, - Inspecteur,
- There you go, You'll be nice and warm there,
See these? - It's what you feed her,
- Mm-hm, Their food's gotta be alive, They're ambush predators, spiders,
They stay still for ages until the prey's forgotten that they're there,
and then rarrr!
- ou didn't flinch, - Saw you comin',
- Well, do me a favour ― don't forget to feed her while I'm away,
I'm gonna be working in Germany again, Did I,,,?
- How long for? - About a month,
Sorry, I thought I,,, - No,
- Oh, - Oh,
- Well, you could come with,
- Oh, I can't, I gotta work,
- Oh well,
I'll miss ya, honey,
A very American thing to say ― 'honey',
I picked that up from my last girlfriend, She was American,
Do you wanna see a picture of her?
- You drew that? - Yep,
- She looks attractive, - She was a model,
- Oh, she must be very beautiful, - Well, I only go out with beautiful women,
Beautiful and blonde,
- I don't like the word 'woman'; I prefer 'female', What's her name?
- Melissa,
Welcome to 'Skelmers-hell',
Come on,
Hurry up, Give us the bag, - Now you offer to take it,
- Wanna look the gent, don't I, for me ma?
- Hello, you two, - Oh, Merry Christmas, Ma, Merry Christmas, Mum,
This is Delia, - Hello, Mrs Sweeney, - Oh, hello, Delia,
- Biscuits for you there from Bavaria,
- Oh! - Is Dad in? - Come on in, He's through there,
Oh, it's so lovely to see you, - And you, Ah, it's lovely to be here,
This turkey's delicious, Ma, - You think so, love? I think I left it in too long, It's dry,
- It's really not, Mrs Sweeney, It's very succulent,
- Delia's just being polite, Mum, - It's tougher than old boots,
So, uh, where was it you went again? - Oberschleissheim, You been?
- It's so picturesque in the snow, And they have a genuine Bavarian Christmas market,
- John says you work as a nurse, Delia, - Mm,
Agency, though,
- Which hospital do you work in? - Oh, St Paul's at the moment, um, Surgical ward,
- What about that, uh, Freddie Mercury fella? Died of AIDS, - Fucking hell, What a conversation,
Eh?
- Couldn't you have worn something,,, good and clean, you know, for Christmas?
- You joking?
What do you mean? This is me Sunday best,
- Even on the building site, I always wore something good and clean,
Well, that's not very sensible, is it?
- Happy Christmas, one and all,
- Was Freddie Mercury gay? - How can you not know that?
- Oh, I don't have a TV, and I don't read newspapers,
- Delia's American too, Brendan, There's that as well,
- Oh, no, I'm not actually, Mrs Sweeney,
I'm not American or Canadian, but I spent the first 13 years of my life in Ontario, Canada,
and then we moved to Detroit, Michigan, I was born in Australia,
I have an Australian passport and a British one, because of my grandparents,
I have dual nationality, but I don't feel Australian or British or American or Canadian,
I don't really know where I feel I belong, Anyway―
- All right, sweetheart, She didn't ask for your life story,
John says I talk too much,
- From Alfred ― fellow in the flat cap at the bar,
- Oh, who's Alfred? - Some local pisshead,
- They all seem really pleased to see you,
- Yeah, it's cos fuck all ever happens here,
- Oh, I love this song,
Oh!
Oh, I love this one,
John,,,
will you dance with me?
- Come and dance with me, John,
Come on,
# Will you
# dance? #
Come and dance with me, lover,
- Fucking sit down, Everyone's lookin' at ya,
- # She's a good girl,
# And we love her,
# Yeah, she's a good girl,
# And we love her, #
- Hi, It's the dancer, Love the get-up, love,
Girl's never too old to be a hippie, Are you and John Sweeney an item, then?
- He's my boyfriend, - Hmm, Hope you have better luck than his wife,
- 1979 ― I was 18,
- How long were you married? - I don't know, About five years, though it felt a lot fucking longer,
- Five years? Do you have children?
- Two, - Well, why didn't you tell me? - Didn't occur to me,
- What? No, I've never wanted to be with a man who has children with someone else,
- That's a bit unrealistic at your age, isn't it?
- What the hell does that mean? - Well, you're no spring chicken,
Any bloke you end up with is gonna have baggage,
- Why are you being so horrible? - Delia, do you wanna break up with me?
- No, no! I just― I don't want to be lied to,
- Will you stop being a fucking nag?
- What's going on? - I'm sick of sleeping on the floor,
- No! I-I,,, don't want a bed,
I told you I don't want any big furniture,
- Don't be so ungrateful,
Delia!
Delia,
Come on,
Get your kit off,
We need to break this in,
John,
- John!
- Did you have a bad dream last night?
Oh, I never remember my dreams, Why?
- I woke up, and you were strangling me,
You were asleep, and you were saying stuff,
- Why? What was I saying?
- Nothing much,
- I'm sorry, That must have been, uh― That must have been scary for you,
- Yeah, it was,
- Delia, You're back,
Are you all right?
- Uh,,,
Oh,,,
- He never tells me how long he's going to be away or when he's going to be back,
He treats my flat like a doss-house,
- Have you told him you're not happy about that?
- Yeah, of course, I've told him more than once I want him to move out,
- And? - Oh, he,,,
He says he will, but then he never does,
- That's not right, It's your home, - I know that,
- Are you scared of him? - No,
I don't know, A little bit,
He has a very bad temper,
- Is he violent?
- Oh, he does say mean things,
Sometimes he looks at me like he hates me,
- I've made some really bad boyfriend choices in the past, especially the last one,
Patrick, He was a violent, controlling arsehole,
Is that why you became a lesbian?
- I thought that you and Manuela were,,, - We are, She's my girlfriend,
- Right, I'm― I could never go with a female, - Never say never,
- No, I mean it, I could not, - OK,
OK, I believe you,
- I mean, he was violent once, John, in a way, Um,,,
- What do you mean? - He tried to strangle me in his sleep, He was having a bad dream,
- Delia, You need to finish with him,
- But how can I if he won't leave?
- He's in Germany now, yeah? - Uh-huh,
- And I take it he's got his own keys, - Yeah,
- Change the locks on him,
- Good day at the office?
Hope you like chilli con carne,
Oh, I've got a present for you,
It's a pincushion,
That means 'I love you', - I know what it means,
Come here,
Mm, - No,
- Mm, - No, John, no,
- Have you been drinkin'? - Yeah, I had a couple of wines with Leah at Westminster,
- Why? Is she trying to get into your knickers? - No, just friends,
- Pff, You haven't got any friends, - And you don't love me, and I don't want a pincushion,
- Fucking hell, What a spiteful thing to do,
- I want you to move out,
- This again? - You use me, you're rude to me, and you don't respect me,
- Respect? Has that dyke been putting ideas into your head?
- This has nothing to do with her, I don't want to go out with you any more,
- Have you eaten?
You're probably hungry, Is that it?
Look, let's,,,
let's have our dinner,
and, all right, if you still feel the same way afterwards, then, fine, I'll fuck off, Yeah?
- I've eaten, so,,,
you can go now, Please,
- One last thing, - No, No 'one last thing's, John,
- Let me draw you,
Just so I've got something to remember you by, Eh?
Now, sit there,
Come on,
Take your coat off,
Sit down,
Smile, Delia, Smile,
- What happened between you and Melissa?
- Why do you ask me that?
- Well, you still love her,
Did she finish with you?
- That's how I see you,
- Oh, get out,
Get out of my house,
- It's not your house! It's a council house, you fucking idiot, Get out!
Get out! Get out!
Go away!
Going for a drink, Don't wait up,
Why are you going through my things? That's private,
That's―
You wanna know what happened with me and Melissa?
I killed her in Amsterdam, I chopped her up, and I put her in a fucking canal,
- Delia not in yet? - No,
- Hello, I'm― - Sorry, sir, Bear with me a sec,
- # Long white flowers
# rest in water,
# Won't you take them away?
# Won't you take me away? #
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