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WHAT MEN DON'T KNOW
What do we want?
I'd like her to be, well,,,
For me, a woman should be like a vase,
So there's something to hold onto,
Tell them to get some coffee,
- Maybe we can forget this conversation? - Maybe not,
- Good luck, - Thanks,
- Shouldn't you be ironing now? - And you,,,
Here you go,
- First day? - Yeah,
What do you think?
Me? I don't know,,,
It looks good,
- Why did you get a job as an assistant? - I want to pursue a career,
Go home,
- But I just got here, - Good, it'll be easier to leave,
You are really bad at making coffee,
But,,, I'm sorry,
And whining won't help your career,
You have to work,
Keep going,
Can you do me a favor?
Smile,
- Taste this, - What is it?
- It's an Old Fashioned, - Oal Fashioned,
Old Fashioned,
So, Giedrius,,,
For the best editor, from the best team,
So as per tradition, make a wish,
Make a wish!
Maybe not?
- So what did you wish for? - Don't say, then it won't come true,
All my wishes come true,
"Come see me tomorrow morning,"
Signed, Dee-rector,
- Dee-rector?! - Dee-rector!
Oh, look, look what's here,
Everyone grab one, and let's drink to the very best news from the Deerector!
To Giedrius, Everyone, to Giedrius!
To a promotion!
Bottoms up!
Colleagues, excuse me, Duty calls,
What are your plans now?
I don't know, I was thinking about getting a dog,
What are your plans for tonight?
What do you have in mind?
Have a drink,,,
And not talk much,
Good morning, Giedrius, Another wonderful day has dawned,,,
I could live here,
- Hey, and whose is this? - My daughter's,
Daughter's,,, Or girlfriend's?
What's your zodiac sign?
Leo,
Awesome,
We're really compatible,
Are you going to call me?
Sure,
But you don't have my number,
The stars will align and I'll guess, Let's go,
- Which way are you? - There,
Excellent,
Hello listeners! Today is a wonderful day,
and not because Gedas isn't here with me, he and his beard decided
to take the plastic off of his greenhouse and a tick bit him,
So now he's at home playing sick,
but I hope he'll recover and be back here with us before you know it,
Today is good because I have two guests in the studio,
The first is Rolandas, a fighter for equality
and author of the book Discover the Woman Hidden Deep Inside You,
Hello, my ladies,
And Giedrius, chief editor for the hugely successful magazine L'Officiel,
L'Officiel,
Right,
Our topic for today is management: Why aren't there any women?
Men?
I think my colleague here could answer that,
And who are you?
I was just introduced,
No, no, I mean, what's your job?
I'm an author, I speak for women and for a healthy lifestyle,
And they can't speak for themselves anymore?
And just to be clear, I asked what your job is, not what your con is,
Guys, let's go back to our topic,
Giedrius, what do you think, could a woman do your job?
No,
Okay, So you're saying women aren't worthy of high positions?
- You're almost acting like a woman there, - What?
And you, would you want to work 10 or 12 hours,
without vacation, on Saturdays, Sundays,,,
I'm not saying that I'd want to,
And before accepting your femininity, did you discover your true masculinity?
What are you avoiding the topic for, huh?
Because there is no topic here, None!
You profit from pushovers and even label all that as progress,
Ladies,
I'm not saying that you're not worthy, I'm just saying you can't handle it,
And this is just biology,
And biology isn't my fault,
Of course, if it makes you feel better,
you can listen to charlatans like this guy, Right?
- Charlatan, - You primitive,,,
- Sissy! - Roughneck!
My mom's balls are bigger than yours,
Loser!
Sign it to Giedrius!
Demanding that the activist sign a book for him,,,
We'll be back after a short song
and continue our discussion, stay with us at ZIP radio!
Hi! For the music column, we're going to do,
"Which Star is Having Another Last Concert?"
There's already been more than one of them, look for something else,
Giedrius, I want this to pass through the human soul like a velvet wave,
Maybe not?
Good morning!
Good morning,
- Have a good meeting, - I will,
Editor?
Rima? Soon you'll be calling me something else,
Job interview?
Something like that,
Can you make me some coffee?
Slow reaction,
A slow assistant is a fired assistant,
Speed isn't always an advantage,
So,,,
I've never experienced this kind of humiliation,,,
A new sensation?
This is the result of your photo shoot antics,
Come on, there's no such thing as bad publicity,
What I would do to be young again,,,
- What, are you sick? - No, it was just easier to live,
Have you seen the sales?
Yeah,
So now everything's on Facebook, Instragrim, Twizzer,,,
So basically
you're fired,
What?
Don't be mad, you do a good job, but your escapades are knocking us down,
You got in a fight with that feminist, and you called that other guy a potato head!
And that thing you did with that politician's wife?
And publicly to top it off?
Aren't you going to give me a chance to defend myself?
Ieva, come here!
Now get out, and later you'll hand everything over to her,
Excuse me? I was wondering, what were your work principles?
I come up with something, others do it, everyone's happy,
Wait, I'll be right back,
You want some advice? Hold this,
Good luck working with your greatest talent,
Give me the box back,
- Was that on purpose? - What?
- You want to kill me? - Sorry, somehow I didn't see you,
Hi,
- How was the flight? - Gave us a good shake,
- Where are we going? - Yeah, I'll be right there, To the center,
So maybe you'll have lunch with your father?
No, I wasn't talking to you, my father's just pretending that he's interested,
- So what am I, a taxi? - Just for free,
I don't get it,
- They just up and fired you? - No, first they gave me a kiss goodbye,
- Seriously? - Of course not, dude!
So what are you going to do?
Yeah,,,
Somehow nothing's the same anymore,
I mean, even Inga's saying, advertise the garage online,
You'll have lines outside,,, But I have lines as it is,
- So what, they'll be even longer? - Can we maybe talk about my problems?
Yeah, I was just babbling,,,
- So what exactly are your problems? - Inequality!
Get it?
A man's word doesn't mean anything anymore,
You were right, if you're a man, nobody listens to you anymore,
The fight for equality, what fight for equality?
There's nothing to fight for anymore,
Listen, do you think maybe someone gave you the evil eye?
Really evil,
I'm serious!
Think about it, some psycho almost runs you over in the morning,
Then you say that a broad could never do your job,
And then she's already doing it,
You definitely got the evil eye,
You have to go to a fortune-teller,
Right, a fortune-teller!
Then I'll saddle up my unicorn and ride to the end of the rainbow,
where a drunken gnome will make my wishes come true?
- That's it, Men? - Men!
Dude, I'm telling you, You definitely got the evil eye,
It happened to me once,
No dough, no lines at the garage,
and Inga just couldn't get pregnant,
My grandmother says to me, go to a fortune-teller,,,
I went and now
I have dough, there's lines at the garage, and two kids to top it off,,,
- Yeah,,, Where did you find her? - Inga?
- We were classmates, - No,,,
- The fortune-teller, - Ah, the fortune-teller!
Over there somewhere,
Where?
Inga,,,
Pissing in the alley?
No,
Don't intimidate him, he recognizes your door slam as it is,
Dude, don't be mad, but Romka is out,
Get in the car,
What did you drink?
- Whiskey, - And what happens to you from whiskey?
- Nothing, - Exactly,
- Hello? - Hello, hello,
- What are you up to? - What's wrong?
No, everything's fine,
Are you going into town?
- No, my wife is at home, - Oh, right, your wife,
No, everything's fine, Bye, good night,
VANDA THE FORTUNE-TELLER
What the,,,
Don't do that,
So what are you staring at? Sit down!
What's the problem? Impotence,
Money?
Or women?
What, can you see all that from my aura?
I was a prosecutor, I used to see a face like yours every day,
Give me your left hand,
I said left!
So,,, Have a little problem, do we?
I got the evil eye,
Not the evil eye, your own stupid head,
So we have to take care of it,
Yeah, at the fortune-teller's,
You don't take the world seriously,
Said the fortune-teller,
No, but it's a good profession for women,
just somehow I've never seen a male fortune-teller,
I wonder why,
You need to start looking at life with your eyes open,
Or maybe the world needs to stop screwing around?
Okay, okay, okay, that's enough!
That's enough, This is already too much,
Tomorrow you'll see!
I'll see, I'll see, that you very much ma'am,
Happy fortune telling,
Good morning!
What the,,,
Ma'am!
This is some kind of nightmare,,,
I'm dreaming,
None of this is real,
Although you seem very real,
Ma'am, you're scaring me,
Ma'am?
Water?
Look, I have to go, Try to stop passing out, okay?
What the hell?
I'm Giedrius!
Right, Giedrius!
No!
Phew!
Where did you buy your license, lady? Or don't you have one at all?
Maybe stress can make a person can drive like that?
FOR RENT
Hello, did you see,,,
There was a fortune-teller's parlor here yesterday, with this red sign,
What? I can't hear you,
- Have you seen a fortune-teller here? - There's nothing here,
I just saw two drug addicts pissing in the alley yesterday,
Hello, ma'am, Sorry, but this is for employees only,
What "ma'am"? It's me, Giedrius,
Nice to meet you, my name is Romualdas, But why don't we go over to the cars,
Lift up your shirt,
Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I'm married,
Right, your wife is Inga, Lift up your shirt,
- Ma'am, I really don't know you, - Don't get on my nerves,
Under here you're hiding the '94 catalog from Inga,
Yeah, so what? Everyone in the garage does that,
You have two kids,
Okay, you're a really good sleuth, but can we now please get out of here?
I don't know you!
You know me, you idiot,
we've puked out of balconies together, we've broken windows,,,
Look, You have a flash drive hidden in this loaf of bread,
Yeah, so what?
Now lift up your shirt already,
You have a tattoo of a 12-wrench on your right side,
But how,,,
Yesterday I got fired and the two of us got drunk,
Then Inga packed you up and I went to that fortune-teller of yours,
And here's the result,
Giedrius?
You finally got it,
Hold on!
This,,,
- I mean,,, But what are you inside? - What do you mean "what"? A man!
- Giedrius? - Giedrius!
Fudge,,,
So what are you going to do now?
I don't know,
I need to uncast the spell somehow,
Make it quick, Romka,
I'm at Mahudra,
Mahamudra,
Ma-ha-mudra,
I can't talk, I'll call you back,
Well, my father has had all kinds, but I've never seen a sectarian before,
Is he at least planning on coming back?
Your father had to go away, you'll be living with me,
Okay,
I'll look after you,
What's wrong?
Nothing, it's just that I'm alone and he's God knows where,
And of course, there's also a sectarian at home,
In general, do sectarians have a job?
What the,,,
- Where did you get this from? - From the store,
And what's that?
So now you're going to ask me about everything? Shakespeare!
You're right,
About what?
I need a job,
Romka, I'm going to look ridiculous!
Get it, it goes with your eyes, it's really feminine,
Look, get black for the office, it won't show stains,
And white makes you look younger so get that for parties,
What parties, Romka? Don't get on my nerves,
- So you'll wear it to work, still,,, - Fine,,,
- It's shows off your waist,,, - How's this?
- This one for your waistline, - Will this one show off my waist?
This one works your butt,
You're going to need all those womanly wiles anyway,
Well?
Is that the front?
What do I know?
- That looks good, It's slimming, - Oh, don't start,
You look awful, my mechanics look better than that,
- Wife? - Buddy,,,
Well?
How's this?
- Like a rainbow,,, - Okay, but do I look like an assistant?
No,
How can you give me any advice when you're always on the phone?
You don't even care,
How much longer are we going to sit here?
We still need shoes and a handbag,
Well?
Can I go like this?
Yes,,,
Yes, yes!
15 years of experience in this field,,,
- Very good, - Maybe even too good!
I just came back from Holland, and you know how it is with emigrants,
they have to start here from scratch,
So I thought that even if you just need an assistant, I'm your man,
- Woman, - Right, woman, That's what I said,
So congratulations, You're hired,
- Already? - Already,
See you tomorrow,
Now you're carrying a heavy burden, then there's your grief, you're in grief,
Then there's guilt,
Now you're guilty,
After guilt, after guilt,
then changes await and then,,,
a transformation,
Then after the changes, a transformation,
The transformation has already happened!
Do you not understand what I'm asking of you?
No, I don't understand what you're asking,
I need you to turn me back into a man,
But you understand that I'm a fortune-teller, right?
Not a sorceress!
- No, - Now I don't understand,
- Buddhist ritual, - Doesn't look like it,
Yeah, maybe not,,,
Shakespeare?
Actor's self-preparation,
- That's not like you, - How do you know?
Your father told me,
What's it for?
I'm going to try to get in,
- Does your mother know? - Excuse me?
My mother doesn't know and my father's not here,
It's just me and my book,
And a strange woman in the apartment,
I don't know, you could have at least talked to your father,
Yeah, When he comes back I'll tell him,
Want some pizza?
We could hang out, talk about stuff,,,
You know, between us,,, girls,
Yeah, sure!
You look nice!
Although maybe something's missing,,, On your neck or in your ears,
Make some coffee, Milk, no sugar,
Milk, no sugar,,,
Thank you,
The door, should I close it or leave it open?
Okay,,,
- You're sure about this? - Romka,
You can weld aluminum to steel, you can do this too,
Okay,
First disinfect from the inside,,,
And keep in mind, you asked for it yourself,
Hold still,
I have to be a man, I can't stay this way,
- You used to be a man? - Yes,
My whole life,
It happens, sometimes transsexuals later regret making a hasty decision,
These cardinal changes,,, They don't bring them happiness,
Exactly,
This change did not bring happiness,
- Have you already had the operation? - No,
I went out for a beer,
It's ridiculous, ridiculous,,,
But you see, Romka, they just flutter their eyes, stick their butts out,
push up their boobs, and that's it, everything's taken care of,
Easy,
Oh, I'm going to put that Ieva in her place,
You'll see, she'll get the boot, for sure, You'll see,
Excuse me, I'm looking for Ieva,
- I'm Ieva, - Sign here,
Hi,
I was supposed to get some boxes, have you seen them?
How's work going?
Fine,
Interesting?
What do you want?
Be careful, assistants don't last long here,
I should have fired you when I could,
What did you say?
Sorry, I didn't hear you, what?
Nothing,
Hello?
No, the editor-in-chief isn't in,
I don't know when she'll be in,
Good bye,
Come in,
What do you think?
Not our style,
We have to be open to opportunities,
What good are opportunities when no one is buying?
I think differently,
I'm sorry,
No more gossip,
We need to inspire people, show them a beautiful life,
Of luxury?
Of substance,
Interviews with scientists, artists, entrepreneurs, people
who have made their own success,
Like millionaires' wives?
The opposite,
I'll make it easier for you,
We're going to do everything exactly the same,
just the other way around,
Okay,,,
It was easier when Giedrius was here,
And it'll be more difficult now that Ieva is here,
Giedrė, it's nothing,
Okay, let's get back to work, Let's get back to work,
I'm sorry,,,
Bet you a fiver she crashes,
Grab a beer,
Nice eyebrows,
Just like Ieva's,
As in your boss?
Yesterday she said I was doing a good job,
What about you?
I'm doing a bad job, but she just smiles,
that snake,
Your turn,
Show me,
- Oh, nice! - Okay, now it's my turn,
Excess! Excess!
- What? - Excess,
It's going to drip,
Right, Let's remove the excess,
Put it on the table like this,
No, no,,, Here,
Jolanta, give me the scarves,
What scarves?
- He asked for coffee, - Not now, he's working,
Nice,
- She told you to bring over the scarves, - What scarves?
And the suits don't need ironing? You can just screw around here?
Take it,
Oh, that's hot!
Are you alright? Did you burn yourself?
- It was by accident,,, - No, everything's fine,
Everything's fine,
Let's continue, everything's fine,
Three words, dear Romeo, and good night indeed,
If that thy bent of love be honorable, then all my fortunes at thy foot
I'll lay and follow thee my lord throughout the world,
Are you serious?
Romeo, Romeo! That Romeo should be falling to my feet,,,
See that?
A new L'Officiel in old clothes, that's my goal,
We want people to read quality,
educational content that gives them hope,
And of course, Rolandas, the symbol of our change,
What is this?
No,
I don't need that Twizzer of yours,
- This is out of the question, - What is this?
Director, this is some kind of misunderstanding,
I've been working here for 20 years, and this has never been and never will be,
Got it?!
Jesus, Jesus,,, Don't be angry,
Maybe some water,,,
Over my dead body,
This isn't good,
I feel sorry for her,
Me too,
Giedrė!
Giedrė,,,
- What are you hanging around here for? - I mean, it's just,,,
I mean, it's just,,,
I could care less!
Director?
I don't get it, why does she wear those shoes if she can't walk with them?
Because she wants to look good,
Who?
The director?
Good morning, Giedrius,,,
I'm such an idiot, I can just buy a pair!
Here we go,
- Oh, don't stop for me, - It's not for you,
- Is there something wrong? - This is bullshit!
Ooh, someone's having trouble,,,
Okay,
- Do you want to show me? - Show what?
- There's nothing to show! - It'd be easier if I was a man,
Why?
Because all the best roles are written for men,
And here,,,
You're a woman, waiting on the balcony for someone to decide your fate,
No, I,,,
I understand you,
It really is bullshit,
- I went to a psychologist, - And?
- Told me to drink less, - Get out, that's ridiculous,
I don't believe them,
Go to the gynecologist too,
They're both the same,
Both try to get into you, just through different ends,
But it's alright, at least you'll know all the secrets broads have,
There's no time for any secrets,
Can you imagine how much time it takes to get dressed in the morning?
- And then put on make-up,,, - Believe me, I know,
I have one of you living at home with me,
One of them,
Okay, don't get mad, One of them,
And what about the revenge plan?
I think she and I are both about to get fired,
Somehow I'm starting to feel sorry for her,,,
What?
She took your job away from you,
But she's not bad,
Okay, don't be a broad, hand me a 12,
What's this?
This is a 10!
I asked for a 12,
You can't even tell sizes apart anymore,,,
Excuse me, maybe I don't quite feel like I'm in my own body!
Fine,
But you know, that body of yours isn't bad at all,
Yeah?
What size are you?
75B,
- Can I touch them? - Of course!
Did you hear that?
Inga's door,
What did she do to you that you recognize her from the slam of her door?
Okay, don't change the topic,
- Is it like a feeling from inside? - Yes, yes!
No, I mean, I can feel from the outside that,,,
You animal,
Come here!
You're dead!
No, you don't understand,
This is Giedrius, a fortune-teller turned him into a woman,
Come here, I'll turn you into a woman!
Stop, calm down,
You don't want it at home, and here you're feeling up an ironing board?
75B!
- I could care less, - Come here Romka, it'll hurt less,
Stop!
Run, run, you bitch! You can run, but you can't hide!
What are you sighing about?
He's so cute,
But I'm overweight,
So good
he likes when there's something to hold onto,
How do you know?
He said so himself,
Ladies, what are your plans after work?
Nothing!
Super,
So, do you have someone lying on your couch?
There was this one guy, but he disappeared,
A magician! Did he at least say something?
No, he just up and disappeared,
They all think we believe them,
I'll fix your toilet tomorrow,,,
You look so nice, you must have lost weight,,,
I need my freedom, baby!
Hold on,,, You understand when we lie?
They lie, men,
Yeah, of course,,,
So what do you do?
Nothing, We pretend we believe them,
There are a lot of places where you have to pretend,
- Because there's no other option, - Because of demographics,
What about you?
What about me?
Do you have someone?
Kind of, but not really, I don't know,
You have yourself and that's all you need!
Thank you,
For what?
This is more my kind of place,
All those clubs of yours, the whiskey, they're not really for me,
How are things at home?
Not great after that boob fiasco,
You're the one who wanted to touch them,
Me?
Is this where men are to blame for everything?
Your words, not mine,
But you're still the one who seduced me,
You turned yourself into a broad!
I just up and did it because I wanted to, huh?
So how about Inga, has she forgiven you?
At first I wanted to tell her
that you jumped me so that I'd give you a discount,
For balancing,
What size discount?
Nah,
I actually told her
that she was the gentlest thing, my one and only,
That was a good thing to say,
- And? - Well, then she said she understood,
She's lying,
She wants you to believe that she believed that you believed that she believed you,
What kind of logic is that?
They're a lot more clever than they seem,,,
It's just us who think we're so smart,
Hello?
Hello!
Giedrius?
No, Giedrius,,, He's coming, I'll get him,
Hello?
Where are you?
At work, where else? Just have a little cold,
Look, I was asked to go shopping with Julija,
Of course, go, you can go,
Do you know anything about Romka? He didn't tell you anything?
Look, I can't really talk, I'll call you back,
Things are boiling here,
What beauty,
I'm here for Ieva, can you get her?
She's not here,
Sick?
- Hello! Can you sign this? - Of course, of course,,,
Me too,
- You don't have a book, - But I have an arm,
Okay,
- Can you give me a pen? - I don't have one,
I have one,
First the book, Who to?
Rimukas,
I've read it twice already,
And I sleep with your book under my pillow, with your face up,
It's like we sleep together,,,
- Do I snore? - No!
- Oh, what beauty! - If anyone asks, I'm having lunch,
- Ciao, - Ciao!
For him I could,,,
What?
I could do anything,
Maybe you'd like to go to work?
We're going to work,
Would you like some coffee?
No, it's already late, go home,
Is there something wrong?
The director,
Is he mad?
Ultimatum:
Either I finish the presentation or I finish working here,
Not my words,
I'm sorry,
It's nothing,
Although someone is trying to get in my way,
Really?
Maybe I can help you?
You need to get some sleep,
Okay, Show me what you have,
Make that bigger,,,
That's not bad,
Well,,, It's good,
Very good,
A new style,
Just that Rolandas,,,
You don't like him?
Do you?
Well, he understands women,
Him? He understands?
And you say that you know when a man is lying,
And in general, what is it with you women and those "understanding" men?
Just imagine what it would be like if you had a man
who always agrees with you,
always does what you want to do, always goes every where with you,,,
Oh God! Oh God, how boring,
That's what I'm saying, what do you need another broad at home for?
- What do you need that Rolandas for? - I don't know,,,
But we sell dreams so that a person like him can exist,
I don't understand,
What do women want?
It doesn't matter, men, women, all of us,,,
We all want support,
tenderness,
a person that you want to come home to,
Intimacy,,,
Hi!
Something new?
I don't like it,
What are you going to play? A man?
I want to go for it, Show what I can do,
My father hasn't called?
He's probably really busy,
I need to talk to him,
About what?
I want to come back and live with him,
But what about England? What about your mother? School?
What about England? Mom will understand,
All of my friends are here, Plus, I want to study here,
- But your father,,, - He'll come back and we'll talk,
My exam is in a couple of days,
My father probably won't be here, but maybe you can come?
Of course! Of course, yes, I'll come,
But give some more thought to your role, there are a lot of good female ones,
Like masculine female roles,
Joan of Arc, for example,
- Or Mulan, - Mulan,
From the cartoon,
Come on, we're all from a movie in a sense,,,
- Are you going to eat that? - Yes,
So, he invited me skiing this weekend,,, So we can get to know each other better,
- More intimately, - More intimately?
Clever,,,
He'll take you down the mountain a few times, and then,,, Well, you know!
Man, another line in the bathroom,
I don't get it, why do you always go in pairs?
"You?"
We, That's what I said,
- Go on, - I want that interview to go well,
It's just for work,
- What were you thinking about? - About sex, What, you weren't?
Oh, I think about sex a lot, Especially when I'm eating,
- You're always eating! - Exactly,
- What are you talking about? - Ieva is going away for the weekend,
With Rolandas,,,
Where?
Skiing, In Druskininkai,
- As they say, Rolandas wants to,,, - Rima,
Rima,
So what, you're going?
Yes, I haven't been anywhere in a long time, Plus, I need a good article,
I agree,
Go, I've been needing a "good article" for about a month now,
With that feminist jerk-off,,,
"Let's go skiing," And she up and goes, get it?
She's different,,,
Her eyes,,,
And her legs,,,
Her arms,,,
She's loveable front and back,,,
Such a smart woman getting taken for such a ride,,,
So maybe he just needs to have his back straightened with a jack in an alley,
Like, he understands so much about women,,,
And what do you understand?
Well, you know, Romka, it just so happens that
I up and started to understand a lot about us,
About us?
So what, you're like a woman now?
What do I know, my body's a woman's,
You know, Romka, this is a difficult job,
In the morning there's make-up, pantyhose, high heels,
face cream, hand cream, foot cream,,, The never-ending lines in the bathroom!
And that hippie is trying to hook up with my woman!
"My woman?"
- What, you're already like a couple? - No,
But I like her,
So maybe you could give me some advice?
What kind of advice can I give?
You're a woman now,
And she's a woman,
So unless she's the type that likes other women,
But even so, you wouldn't get far,
So is she?
- No, I don't think so, - So that's it!
The ends don't match up!
Yours or hers!
So listen, just be a normal broad,
Don't get carried away, Romka, okay?
Man am I!
Men are we!
Man, now I'm going to have to redo my nail,,,
We're going skiing,
We?
- You'll help me stop them, - No, I'll not help you with anything,
Inga's as mad as a dog, She'll kill you and she'll kill me,
- She'll kill the both of us, - You've always been afraid of her,
I have not,
You recognize her from the slam of her door,
- That's because I'm devoted to her, - Wimp,
Not a wimp,
- Wimp, - Not a wimp,
What are we doing getting in a fight like this, like broads,
- Are we men or are we not men? - Men are we!
You know, thank you,
I've dreamed of trying this since I was a kid,
We didn't come to have fun,
Well, yeah, but we can also have fun,,,
Ah, there, there, I see them,
I really like skiing, It calms me down,
You know, it's like meditation for body and mind,,,
It's cold outside, but warm inside,
I can see from here how he's going on about meditation and "understanding,"
Bastard,
Okay, let's go,
Those lifts are really interesting,
Look, This is the plan,
We have to just casually run into them,
Got it,
But how am I supposed to stop?! This is my first time,
Just like that!
- Wow, I feel so alive! - Me too,
Give me five!
Ma'am, are you okay?
Are you okay?
Giedrė?
I knocked the young man down by accident,
he's quite the lightweight, if I do say so myself,
What are you doing here?
Oh, we,,, Romka and I came to go skiing,,,
Giedrius!
"Giedrius?"
Giedrė, He's a little dense,
Dense,
- Are you sure you're okay? - Everything okay?
Giedrė!
- So how's Lithuania? - Good,
Is your father feeding you alright?
Because if your mother asked me to go shopping, he's probably messing up again?
How do I know, he's not here,
- What do you mean he's not here? - He went somewhere,
So who are you living with?
I don't even know how to explain,,,
We need to push him down the mountain,
And what? He'll ski right down, That's what he's here for,
I guess,
But still, we have to show her somehow what a bullshitter he is,
So call in Saint Michael and stab him with a spear,
That's an option,
So, shall we race?
Sorry, but I don't compete with women,
How sexist,
She got you,
Winner gets a glass of wine!
Romka, they have masks here too,
I have to say, you're in really bad shape,
- Meaning? - Take that mask off and have a beer,
I don't want a beer! How much beer can you drink?
Can you feel that you're changing?
That's ridiculous,
And turn off that phone, it's making my head ache,
Is Giedrius still with us? Hello!
- Who else? - What do I know? Some broad,
Don't embarrass yourself,
Don't be ridiculous, And in general, leave me alone,
- You leave me alone, - And stop farting, Romka!
It's getting me sick,
Inga!
- Now we're both fucked, - What are you swearing for?
- Go out the window, - Don't be crazy, Romka, it's cold outside,
Do what I say, she'll kill you, She'll kill you and she'll kill me,
What is this? One of those jokes where the husband comes back from a business trip?
- I don't have time for conversations, - Romka, come on, don't be ridiculous,
Romka!
Where is that animal?
My height, pure Romka,
Room 104,
Hey!
Oh, crap,,,
- Where is she? - Who?
- That woman! - What woman, my little flower?
Don't call me that!
So you said you were going away with Giedrius?
Wait, I'll explain everything,
Oh, all that's left is the book signing,
I'll finish that and tomorrow we'll be back together,
I really miss you,
It's too bad you're not here,
Of course, you're my biggest fan,
I love you,
I'm also going to go to bed,
I do more,
Bye, bye,
So Romka, tell me, what are you doing here?
I needed to think,
What?
About our family,
And just be alone, have a beer, watch some TV,
Really?
Yeah, I mean, I'm tired of the lines at the garage,
Romka, I was so worried,,,
Come on, now,
I'm devoted to you,
Good evening,
How about some wine?
Come in,
Want to read the interview?
No, I'm sure everything's fine as it is,
I had such a good time with you yesterday,
You have such a,,, wonderful aura,
Are your little shoulders sore?
It's okay,
I'll give you a Reiki,
I learned in China, when I was living in a monastery,
Hi, baby,
Where are you?
I miss you, kitten!
I didn't think that you,,, Played for the other team!
- What? - That you swim among the shells,
What shells?
Send me the interview tomorrow,
Or no,,, later, Never,
- Hi! - Hi,
Is this a bad time?
- What are you up to? - Nothing, Romka went to Vilnius,
- I'm alone, - Rolandas also disappeared,
Yeah?
I was wondering if you'd like some champagne,
Oh, of course, come in,
I'd like to be a man, even if it was just for a day,
- Why? - Maybe I'd understand them better then,
Me too,
But with everything,
- What would you do? - What would I do,
First of all, I'd be free and stupid; I'd get drunk and ask you out,
And maybe you wouldn't run away like all the rest,
No,
What else would you do?
What else would I do? Okay, I'm not talking about the yachts,
convertibles and motorcycles that I'd have, obviously,
But most importantly,
I'd respect you,
protect you,
and love you,
And,,,
Yeah, and that,
It's too bad you're not a man,
I'd make a move on you,
And,,,
Let me, ma'am, I'll park it for you,
- How do I look? - Great,
You think he'll like it?
Convince him that sales will go up and you'll see, he'll melt,
Hold on,
Show them your talent,
Good evening,
Look, does this dress look too small?
Your dress is good,,,
Ladies, you look fantastic, let's go,
Ieva!
She looks amazing!
- Hi ladies, - Hi!
Excuse me,,,
Bye!
Welcome to the launch party for our new issue,
There have been a lot of changes in a short time,
and I have to say that I'm really proud of the entire team,
the entire editorial staff, that has done an amazing job,
Some of you deserve my special thanks too, but I'll do that later in person,
So then, long live L'Officiel!
But it's too bad Giedrius isn't here, isn't it?
He used to do such a great job getting us dancing,
- It really is too bad! - Yeah?
So ladies, let's go dance,
- Shall we dance? - Director!
Tomorrow,
With the director,,,
- No! - As the young people say, come on,
Ieva speaks very highly of you,
Firing Giedrius wasn't easy, but now things are better,
Do you know what I like?
Secrets,
And mysterious women,
Selling ads is crazy hard,
Especially when nobody needs you,
- And what if someone does need you? - Who?
Someone's looking for me?
Blonde, pretty, likes to joke around,
Do you live alone?
Me?
No,,,
Still with my mom,
But alone,
Don't you want to try it without your mom?
Are you renting an apartment or something?
We'll see!
Being the director is a lot of fun, you have a lot of time, you can travel,,,
Would you like that?
Not really,
I understand that I'm older,
but inside I'm an adventurer,
And a beautiful woman, to me, she's a challenge,
It's a little late for those adventures,
- Are you hot? - Yes, very hot,
It's hot, I'm always hot, even when it's cold,,,
I'm almost never cold,
Well, you're a very hot woman,
Thanks,
I'm not offering anything officially, but,,,
Maybe you'd like to assist me,
I mean, not for free, you know, a hand job,
How about a knee job?
Excuse me, I'll be right back,
Giedrė! Are you leaving?
- It's late, - Stay, this is our evening,
This is your evening, You're amazing,
I'm really, really proud of you,
- I'd like to stay with you longer but,,, - Let's go inside,
Where are you going to go all alone?
Everyone has their own secrets,
May I?
Can't I just enjoy my drink?
What are we having?
One more for the lady, and a Gin & Tonic for me,
What a feminine drink,
The kitty has teeth,,,
Maybe you want to tell me more about freedom?
You all claim to want to be free, but in reality you still need a man,
So why doesn't anyone need you?
Be happy that you're a woman,
You don't even know what that means, What are you laughing about?
A man has to do everything, everything,
Pay, fix, provide,,, And you, what do you have to do?
You don't have to do anything,
All you have to do is spend money and be,
With thinking like that, it's no wonder you're sitting here at 35,
single, in a bar, with this girly drink,
complaining that no one understands you,
Sitting here with a dozen other men like you that nobody needs,
realizing that you can't really even yourself any more, isn't that right?
Find a hobby,
or better yet, go see a fortune-teller,
What are you, stupid?
Maybe,
But the fortune-teller is no joke,
HI, REMIND ME WHAT TIME YOUR EXAM IS
If you can, it's at 12,
12!
Julija? Julija, hello! I'm on my way, I'll be right there,,,
Julija!
Where are the exams being held?
- What, you're also trying to get in? - Yes, yes,
Over there, over there,,,
And a cloud the color gray
rumbles over our Lithuanian hill,
Can you play the color red now?
You can go,
Hi,
What are you doing here? Where's Giedrė?
- She had to go somewhere for a while, - So she sent you?
No,
Are you scared?
- Of what? - Them, obviously,
I don't even know,
You're really helping,
I understand that you're scared and it's hard for you,
but you're already an adult, so,,,
Fly as high as you can,
I read that in some magazine,,, Forget it,
What I wanted to say is that it's not for me to decide what you do with your life,
and not for your mother,
It's not for us to decide where you live, here or there,
And it's not for them to decide whether you're talented or not,
If you want, live with me,
Be an actor, be whatever you want to be,
And now,,,
Fly as high as you can,,,
You can go,
Julija,
They told me you were fools
and that I was not to listen to your fine words,,,
That's my daughter,
Oh, who cares what you think?
I'm proud of her anyway,
Now tell me what has happened
since you knew no better than to make a heap of cinders of me?
- Since when did you start wearing makeup? - It doesn't matter, okay?
That was a wonderful Joan of Arc, And you played the crocodile really well,
I wanted to personally let you know that you've been accepted, Congratulations,
- Let's go for lunch! - Yeah, lunch!
So where did Giedrė go?
She went back to Holland, She won't make it for lunch,
- Is she coming back? - Maybe someday,
You broke up,
We were never together,
That's too bad, she'd suit you,
Thank you!
Are you sure the director won't mind?
I don't know, he disappeared two months ago,
I wanted to complement you,
L'Officiel is much better now,
- And you contr,,, - No, no, no,
This is all you,
Thank you,
There's so much sexual tension in the air,,,
I'm suffocating,
You don't have any work to do?
I just wanted to show my support,,,
Listen, you need to talk to him, Go see how he's changed!
Go!
I,,,
I just wanted to ask,
What is your book about?