Are you sure you don't have the wrong address?
I've got you dead to rights,
Move if you like your head on the ground next to ya!
For God's sake, Find your manners, Captain,
Lara?
Lara flippin' Croft!
It is you!
You old so-and-so!
You don't call, You don't write,
Meanwhile, can't get Jonah to stop writing,
Jeez, Like he's a poet,
Well, what's it been? Five years since Oahu?
Are you taller?
Leo, it's good to see your smile,
I see you're missing yours,
What brings you to the absolute navel of the Earth?
Jonah, actually, He's in trouble,
- What kind? - The kind I can't talk about, I'm afraid,
But,,, I need a lift to Pasargadae, Can you help?
- Is that a yes? - There's no time for no,
But Pasargadae is restricted airspace,
Leo, you could get into serious trouble or worse,
Jonah's in trouble, or he isn't?
He is,
Then restrictions can suck my athlete's foot,
Gross but admirable,
Thank you, Leo, I owe you,
Ah, I'll scratch one off the tab I still owe Jonah,
Any sign of Devereaux?
Mm, Still no,
But if he found the Gold Stone already, he'd want an exit route,
There are old railroad tracks that run nearby,
Where's the nearest train station?
So Mr, Loud Shorts and Jonah were in the army together?
I don't know the whole story, but Jonah saved his life,
Dude's weird, but I dig him,
Jonah used to sing it all the time, It used to drive me crazy,
I duct-taped his mouth once, I could still hear him,
Man's got bass,
Leo, the last time I saw Jonah,
I said some rather,,,
,,,unkind things,
He knows you didn't mean it, Trust me, Jonah always knows,
He does,
It's rather annoying, isn't it?
Oh, when you find him, you'll set him straight,
We still have to drop to a lower altitude!
Thanks for the ride, Leo!
Now, that's a woman after my heart,
And now we're diving again,
Therapy is also a good option, you know?
Why didn't you tell him? About Jonah?
How do you tell someone their old war buddy
is possessed by a magical stone controlled by a supervillain?
Point taken,
He's safer not knowing, He'd only get himself killed,
And what are we doing?
Hopefully, the opposite of that,
Lara! What the heck happened?
Are you all right? Lara!
Not very graceful,
He combined the Gold Stone,
Zip?
Zip, do you read me?
Lara! How,,,
Can,,, hear me?
Radio Leo, Tell him these people need help,
Huh?
Lara?
Jonah!
Lara!
Jonah!
All aboard,
Oh! Lady Croft,
A bow, That's cute, Tea?
Their coffee is also delicious,
Let them go,
This isn't what you want,
And how do you know what I want?
Because you're right,
It's the same thing I wanted, To burn everything to the ground,
And I did,
And when Trinity was gone, the house was still empty,
And I still didn't have my father,
All I had was blood on my hands,
You're weaker than I thought you'd be,
The Light killed my father because he said no,
Once they take power,
imagine what they'll do to whole nations who dare to disagree,
Let them go?
These people, they don't matter, All that matters is stopping the Light!
Lord, you do sound like me,
If you think you can control an artifact that powerful, you're delusional,
Then we are not kindred spirits after all,
I've never been bothered by blood,
No! Jonah!
Look at me!
I am!
And all I see is a petulant child!
You think I like babysitting you?
You're a grown-ass woman!
We've all felt grief,
Get over it!
It's what all of us do, Lara!
Jonah,,, please,,,
You only think the people you've lost matter?
We matter too!
Hmm,
Breakfast and a show,
Excellent, We're still on schedule,
Lara!
Do you trust me?
Of course,
Stop looking at me!
I hate the desert,
I take it back,
I don't trust you,
Can I just say you do matter to me, Jonah?
And I'm so sorry if I've ever made you feel otherwise,
And what you said was true,
Wh,,, what did I say?
You don't remember anything?
The last thing I remember is coughing up river water in the jungle,
Then I was on a train,
Huh,
Let's walk and talk,
There's a lot to fill in,
What about the Stones? You don't wanna go after him?
I got what I came for,
Let's help these people first, then we'll figure out our next move,
Besides, I don't know about you, but I could use a drink,
Would you like some water?
Thank you,
I love you too, pickle,
All right, I'll tell her, Bye,
Abby wants us to finish the mission,
Said, "There's no point in planning a wedding
if the world's going to end,"
She's always been practical,
Okay, Got it, LC,
Great, Switching to video,
Mm, You two look like,,,
- We fell off a train, - She pushed me off a train,
That, uh,,, should be more surprising,
I'm sorry, Are you,,, are you in my father's study?
Uh,,, I,,, I'm not sure,
I honestly have no idea where I am or how to get out,
What happened to your flat?
Well, funny story, The ground ate it,
Yeah, Yeah, there's a huge sinkhole in South London,
whi,,, which brings me to, um,,,
After some help from our lovely, chic friend at Interpol,
I managed to compile
a rather disturbing picture of our supervillain friend,
Seems he was Leave it to Beaver as a kid,
Best in his class, Volunteer work up the wazoo,
Until about 13 years old,
That's when Scotland Yard first noticed him,
Mostly petty theft,
As soon as he was old enough, he joined the French Foreign Legion,
Most brutal training in the world,
Recruits have died there,
He then led a pretty lucrative life as a merc for hire
until fallin' off the map two years ago,
Not even a parking ticket,
Until he showed up at Croft Manor,
So a flunky legionnaire mercenary
now has three of the four Peril Stones
that can destabilize the balance of chaos and order
that keep our world together?
Lovely,
Three of,,, four,
It's all sort of fuzzy,
Anything could help, Jonah,
Greed,
The fourth stone,
You do remember,
He said something like,,, I think,,,
Does Zulu mean anything?
Zulu? In Southern Africa?
Southern Africa is not exactly a lead, Lara,
Does your big library of a brain have any idea where the Greed Stone could be?
There's one place I know where to look,
A library,
The greatest in the world,
"The beadwork of the Zulu people is exquisite,"
"And are known as iziqu,,,"
",,,medallions of war,"
So why haven't you moved back here?
You realize it's a mansion, right?
You could build a water slide from the top floor all the way to the pool,
and nobody could tell you no,
Where you're standing,
that's where my mother taught me French,
Over there, my father and I argued about whether it was safe to dig
on the Carpathian Mountains during a thunderstorm,
This place is full of too many memories, There's no room for me,
If you built a waterslide, we'd make new memories, I promise you,
That bad, huh?
Well, Abby disinvited Lara from the wedding,
More cake for me,
And you for aiding and abetting,
Your woman is out of control,
Then the pipes burst at the café after a tremor,
and she understands now why we have to go to Africa,
Tremor?
Lara has no ideas, And the only thing Lord Richard Croft took pleasure in
was discoursing the beadwork of the Zulu people
and enumerating their many great battles,
Battle,,, the Battle of Zulu?
What did you say?
Battle of,,,
Zulu?
Zhuo Lu?
Is that what you heard Devereaux say? Battle of Zhuo Lu?
Uh,,, maybe,
Hmm,
She has that look in her eye,
You coming?
I'm sorry, What is happening?
This is the story of the Battle of Zhuo Lu that founded China,
My father used to read it to me when I was a child,
We had very different childhoods,
Huh,
A war between three brothers forced the creation of China,
Each wanted to be emperor,
so the three brothers met at the Battle of Zhuo Lu,
It's said one of the brothers possessed a Black Stone
that made him exceptionally powerful,
He could only be defeated
when the two brothers joined forces and decapitated him,
So Devereaux is going to the site of this crazy ancient battle
where this guy's Black Stone is buried?
Yes,
Well, that's not weird at all,
Abby?
Go outside, Now,
Definitely not cupcakes and unicorn rides,
It's happening all over the world,
Paris, Egypt, Istanbul,
The world is no longer in balance,
We have to get those stones back,
We?
Here,
These should contain the energy of the Peril Stones,
Not sure for how long,
Mythical objects aren't exactly a precise science,
Thank you,
Your flight leaves in two hours,
I guess this is where we install the waterslide,
Where did the plane land?
The Azores, Just like the others,
What the hell are they up to?
Zip? Tell Lara that the leaders of the Light are gathering,
Devereaux was right,
They're about to make their glorious return,