Babe!
I thought you weren't touching yourself?
So what's this for?
Babe, what are you talking about?
That's for my skin,
It's got friggin' SPF in it, I'm on the field for hours
during practice and games, You could you imagine what my skin
would look like if I didn't take take care of it, baby,
It's part of my regimen,
Oh my God, you wore it,
Yeah, Yeah,
I know what my guy likes,
How about I help you out,
Yes,
Come here,
Oh, ok,
God damnit, Mom!
God, I told you to knock!
If you don't want me barging in, lock your door,
Your door has a lock on it?
Well, Yeah honey, Rustin and Melanie are downstairs,
Would you like me to invite them up?
Oh, shit!
What's up guys?
Sorry Mrs, Banks,
Oh shit, you guys were
playing dress up when your mom walked in,
Oh and a cheerleader outfit, very nice,
Oh, how'd the audition go?
Can I get you guys anything?
Bye, Sarah,
Fuck, your mom's hot, dude,
We should get a picture of this,
Ok, alright, and then I want my
chin to look better so just alright and uh Mel if you could
lay across the front of us, you know?
Go fuck yourself Rustin,
You already took 30 pictures before
we even got up the driveway, I'm trying to be present in my life
not document it for a bunch of internet pervs,
I'm sorry about that, babe,
Ready?
Nice,
I get it, If my parents lived
close to campus I'd still be there,
It beats the life of crippling debt I'll amount between dorm
costs and tuition by the time we graduate,
Chelsea posted a pic of the Aggie Press review of Hairspray,
Oh, she's a bitch! I was supposed to have that part,
Didn't you like miss the audition?
You know if I can speak as the only working actor here,
60% of great acting is great hair, but
the other 30% is just showing up on time,
Working actor?
You landed one non-union anti vaping commercial
for a $500 buy out, and now you're a working actor?
It's my life, and my lungs, and it's
just not cool, Escape the vape,
Your sister scares me bro,
You have no idea,
What the fuck,
Ok guys, check this out, This is that haunted corn maze thing in
Davis Jamie Solis was telling me about it,
Yeah, it's Fright Farm or something,
We should totally do this!
I don't know, I don't like the weird people
touching you and shit,
Seriously lotion boy?
What else are we gonna do?
Movie,
Can we just do something different for a change?
Well, what do you mean?
All we do is either have someone buy us beer
or go somewhere and play drinking games, I mean, come on,
Or we go to the movies, or dinner,
Ok, well it's a small town, it's
not my fault we are limited on options,
We should totally do this! It's only an hour away!
Rustin wants to, don't you,
No, No I don't think we should,
Why?
You guys, that place is bad,
like very bad,
People really got killed there,
Nice try Macbeth!
See this is why you never get cast,
Shut up Melanie! You don't know! There's a lot of
reasons I never get cast,
It's true,
Ok so like 15 years ago,
before it was a haunt, this satanic clan broke into one of
the cornfields and they set up this altar,
They kidnapped a local virgin girl and
offered her up as sacrifice by
systematically dissecting her while she was still alive,
By the time the cops got there, the only thing left was this 11
inch piece on her skin that looked like it had been peeled
off by some kind of potato peeler or something,
You are so full of shit,
Fuck you, It's true, It was on the news!
The killer shot a video and everything, Crazy,
Let me see, Give it,
Ok, here, look,
Give it,
I'll be right there,
Rustin! God damn it!
Alright, you little bitches better sack up
because we are totally doing this,
Whoa, Hey!
Oh if you're scared I totally get it,
Shut up Melanie, you know I'm not scared!
I was the only one at Brandon's 10th birthday to
watch all the Nightmare on Elm Streets
and not even cover my eyes once,
Whatever, I am in,
You know, guys please, Let's not be the
group that all does the "I'm in thing,"
I don't know, I am pretty sure my girlfriend dressed up in this
nice cheerleader outfit to,,,
you know, I'm pretty sure I'm in,
Alright, fuck! Fine, you guys want to
hang out with a bunch of 10 year olds, we'll go to the corn maze,
Jesus, But we're bringing your flask,
Oh hell yeah we bring my flask,
Not my car, I'm low on gas,
Yeah, and drinking,
No, we can take my car, but you have to drive,
What the fuck?
Look Mel, we talked about this, If you want to be a
fucking nerd and not drink with us that's fine, but you're gonna
have to drive, It's the right thing to do,
Fuck off, Rustin,
Oh hey, can we stop by my
house on the way so I can change?
Babe, you know you chose to wear this,
Excuse me? You can't expect me to go wearing this,
Guys, ya know,
No, 100% you're gonna wear that,
Melanie,
I'm sorry, I'm with the guys on this one,
it's way too good to pass up,
Hey, sack up, right?
I fucking hate you guys,
Whoa, since when do you carry a knife?
Ever since the Time's Up Movement started,
If somebody fucks with me, I am feeding them their balls,
Jesus dude, why are you always so angry?
Whatever, I think it's bad ass,
You're awesome Mel!
Thank you,
You guys, let's play a game,
Oh yeah, how about we play padiddle?
What is padiddle?
Padiddle, a game where you see a car, the headlight is
out, you have to be the first person to go padiddle and if you
are right, everybody in the car
has to take off an article of clothing,
Gross, why do all your games end
with me and my sister getting naked together?
Alright, let's play two lies and a truth,
Guys, let's not do the expositional dialogue thing, ok?
Let's just you two grope each other in the back seat,
We'll pretend it doesn't make us very uncomfortable and we'll
listen to music up here and
we'll just we'll drive, You know?
Well that's cool,
Sounds good,
Alright everyone let's settle down and let's get this
safety meeting over with so we can start our work day,
It's another night, and the season is almost over,
so we've got to keep our energy levels up
and not make any lazy mistakes out there,
Remember we're a small business,
A family business,
So we've got to work twice as hard to beat
those strip mall pop up haunts that have deep pockets,
And you know how we beat em?
We beat them with our hearts and our passion,
Because we give our customers an amazing experience,
and we thrive, thrive on word of mouth,
Now boys, the guests in the VIP maze,
they need special attention,
God Damnit Andy get off your fucking phone!
As I was saying, if you have any questions just
ask your sister, And can we just-can we try, for the love of
God to keep the mess down,
Laundry ain't cheap,
We got to keep costs down to keep the doors open,
to continue your mother's legacy,
Oh, and brother Deacon was kind enough
to bake some peanut butter delights
so make sure you grab one on your way out,
Oh and Deacon,
they are very, very good,
Ok,,,
let's bring it in,
Sweetie,
I know you're up there looking down upon us,
so proud of the work we're doing
and just know that there isn't a
day that goes by that we don't think
of you and miss you,
Sweetie, we figured it out,
We finally figured it out
and everything is
gonna change for the better,
Your boys and little girl
have grown up strong,
Please watch over them
and guide them as they
continue your legacy,
Just know that we love you and miss you,
Ok, Let's finish this,
Don't forget your two for one
combo with any student ID at Fear Farm!
Alright guys, you're not listening,
There's already been a famous Justin,
There's already been a famous Dustin
which means the world is ready for a famous Rustin,
Now I'm the most popular Rustin on social media
by almost 200 people,
So when that excellent opportunity meets my
incredible online preparation, I'm gonna break through to the
big screen and when that happens,
what are you gonna do, dude?
Play professional soccer, ok?
You don't even look Italian,
Bro you know what? It can happen,
Ok? I believe it,
Yeah, baby,
Dude, all I'm saying is that any day now, they're gonna
find me and they're gonna be like oh my God, it's just what
we've always wanted,
another passibly handsome, generic looking white guy,
This is perfect,
I'm gonna get a big agent and it's gonna be crazy,
Jesus, man!
Hey aren't you the "Escape the Vape" guy?
Yeah,
Yeah, come on let's do this, Pull out your phone,
What?
Yeah, you want a selfie, right?
I'm sorry dude, I don't do autographs,
I don't want to make a scene you know,
Nah, I'm good,
I mean I'll do it, We can use my phone if you want,
Alright Ryan Gosling, let's move on,
You really think I look like Ryan Gosling?
I've been doing something with my hair,
Absolutely not,
I've gotta hit it real quick before we go,
I've gotta piss like a race horse,
Gross, dude, The only thing I'm actually scared of here are
those fucking porta potties,
You know Becky Snyder got crabs from one of those,
Didn't you give Becky crabs?
HA HA, No, she gave me crabs, So-
Ew, Fuck Rustin, you have crabs?
1 in 2 Americans are gonna get an STD in their life,
80% of those are gonna get it in college,
As someone who's almost completed an entire semester of
college 4 times, I'm still well below the average 3,
And yet I am still taking a piss dude, so let's go,
Ah, me too,
What? You literally just said--
Yeah dude, you can't get crabs if you don't have pubes,
Have fun,
Hey I thought you gave Becky crabs,
God no, My ex McKenna did,
So I read online we gotta go to the south
entrance to sign up for the maze,
Alright then, Let's stop fucking around here and do this thing,
I'll text the boys,
Ok,
That looks almost too good to be here,
What?
That scarecrow,
Dude, there's nothing there,
I swear there was a creepy ass scarecrow there,
Isn't that kinda the point of this place?
Yeah,
I've got spirit, yes I do! I've got spirit, how about you?
You look like a shitty porn star!
I'm gonna fucking kill Rustin for spreading that rumor,
Fucking-
I think you look hot,
Oh Jesus! Fuck!
Jesus,
Occupied means occupied! Dickfer!
That was awesome,
Dude I got piss on me,
Yeah I know it was a good prank,
Did you hear he called you Dickfer?
What's a Dickfer?
From what I hear,
yours is for well lubricated masturbation,
Girls are at the south gate,
Welcome to Fear Pharm,
For your safety and that of others,
we ask you to abide by a few simple rules,
First of all please turn in all of your cell phones before
entering the maze, Don't worry,
You'll get them back,
Also, each guest will be stamped for your own safety,
Our maze is over 100 acres long,
You don't want to get lost in there,
Thank you,
Is everything okay?
Yeah I don't blame you,
What's going on? Is everything alright?
Is there something wrong with my stamp?
Everything's fine,
Do you know what this stamp means?
No, What does it mean?
It means that you're the 10,000th visitor to
our maze this season,
Sweet, So then what?
It means that you get to visit our VIP maze experience,
What do you say Bobby?
So, which one of you is the lucky winner?
Uh, that's me, I guess,
Well congratulations,,,
Melanie,
Melanie, Melanie,,,
Brandon,
Wendy,
Rustin,
Melanie, Brandon, Wendy, Rustin,
Yeah,
Great name,
Thank you,
Well I'm Herschel,
Herschel Walker, and I just so happen to own this place,
Very cool,
Thank you, and Melanie here just
so happens to be our 10,000th customer this season,
That is what they tell me,
So what does it mean?
Like we get a couple t-shirts, a free t-shirt or something?
Hey, what's the VIP maze?
Well, looks like somebody spoiled the surprise,
Sorry, I just-I get so excited,
I completely understand,
The VIP maze
happens maybe once a year,
You know, we're a small family business,
So sometimes we don't even get 10,000 visitors,
Heck sometimes we build the VIP maze and nobody
is there to experience it,
So the VIP maze is different than the normal one?
Oh yeah, yes it is,
Melanie, how would you and your friends like
to experience the VIP maze?
Now I'll tell you what,
You finish in under two hours,
you'll win $5000,
Fuck me, I mean $5000?
Uh huh,
$5,000 dollars, dollars?
Like not pumpkin money or something?
Yes sir,
You know what? It's coming to the end of the season
I'll do you one better,
You finish in under one hour and I'll double it,
$10,000? Seriously?
Yes, Uh huh, What do you say Melanie?
Well don't look at me,
You know I'm in,
There's no doubt about that, no,
I'm in,
Yeah, fuck yeah, I'm in,
I guess we are all in,
Fantastic!
Let's go for a ride!
Come on, strap in,
Safety first, people,
Hang on!
Saving Private Ryan!
I don't know what's happening!
Alright,
Ok, Are you guys out of your fucking minds?
We're all gonna die out here,
Hey! It looks like we've got ourselves a road block,
I'm gonna need your help on this one,
Man those guns,
Come on guys, nut up!
Hey, hey! five bucks for every dick shot,
This must be how Mariah Carey feels every day!
See ya!
Stop with the dick shots!
Oh my God, I almost feel bad,
I don't,
Fuck yeah, dude!
Fuck you!
Thank you,
So which one of these is the VIP maze?
Now you don't think I was gonna make it that easy, do you?
Wait, there's more than one option?
Actually five,
Now they all go down and end up at the end of the maze,
just some take longer than others,
Do some take longer than 2 hours?
Why yes Rustin, you are catching on,
Ok so we all get a path and if we're bad on
the path and it doesn't work out, we don't get the money,
Right, again,
Ok,
Can we split up?
Wait, what?
Well there's 5 paths and four of us,
If we split up we have a way better chance of winning,
Well I just see the wheels a' turning,
Yes you can split up,
Now, you are not required to,
You can all go on one path, or
you go your separate ways, increase your chances,
If we all get there in under two hours do we all get $10,000?
Nice try,
Guys I don't want to split up,
Well you can go with me, baby,
Yeah we can all go together,
We'll just pick one path and stick with it,
Come on guys, are you serious?
Statistically if we split up we
have a way better chance of winning,
Mel makes a good point though,
Hey, do people ever get lost out here?
Lost?
Son it's a corn maze,
Getting lost is kinda the point,
And what about the satanic cult?
Oh Jesus,
The what?
10 years ago a virgin girl was
sacrificed out here by a satanic cult,
It was on the news,
Virgin sacrifice,
Son, the average age of the corn maze is 10,
Heck, a 12 year old girl won the $5000 in the VIP
maze just last season,
Now as much as I love the mystic
and the urban legends that help keep my doors open,
in all honesty we're just a fun, family corn maze,
So what do you guys want to do?
You know, we don't have to do this, guys,
No, we'll just hop back in the truck, go
back to the main gate and you
guys can enjoy the normal maze if you want,
Come on, seriously you guys, Have some balls,
Yeah no, Mel's right,
We're just freaking ourselves out for no reason,
I mean it's a child's corn maze, what could happen?
Yeah, little kids do this shit,
Yeah, we'll each pick a different path
and we'll just run for the money, Make a quick cash grab,
Ok, ok, but I want you to enjoy the experience,
Now I pay a lot of people to dress up to scare you guys,
It'd be kind of a waste just to run through the corn maze,
Ah Herschel, you're a beautiful
man but a stupid child,
I love you, but we come from very Republican parents,
We're all about the Benjamin's,
Ah, I see,
Ok well, I want you guys to have a good time
alright, not focus on these Benjamin's, alright,
I'm gonna do you a favor,
Don't take the middle path,
Why would that be, Herschel,
Has it got a little trick or a rig in there or what?
It's not a trick,
People on average take the middle path,
That's why I made it the longest for that very reason,
Look, Four people, four paths,
Problem solved,
Fuck it, let's do it!
Fuck yeah, dude!
You guys are sure, This is what we want to do?
Yeah,
Rustin, didn't I just tell you about the 12 year old girl?
Yeah,
Yeah Mr, "I watched Nightmare on Elm Street before you,"
Stop being such a pussy,
Fuck you, Melanie! I'm just asking him some questions,
God, you always do this!
This is why mom and dad don't love you as much,
Oh, that's funny?
Well you know what?
I'm gonna get there first
and when I win the $10,000,
we'll see who's laughing when me and Herschel are fucking models
in my G7,
Stay gold, Pony Boy,
You wouldn't be able to afford that with $10,000,
Alright, I guess this is it,
Have fun,
You too, babe,
See you in a couple hours, ok?
Alright, Ok,
Hey thank you, alright?
I'm taking the path on the right!
Alright boys and girls,
Let's be safe out there,
And remember, preservation is key,
I did not crush that audition this morning,
I'm from Ohio,
Cool,
Brandon takes possession of the ball,
Nobody can stop him and it's a goal and the crowd goes wild,
Wild, Wild, He wins,
Give me an "L"!
Give me an "O"!
Give me an "S"!
Give me an "E"!
Give me an "R"!
Loser,
Wow, Hilarious,
Loser,
Ok,,,
Fuck me!
You got me, man, I don't scare easy and you fucking got me,
You are a big motherfucker,
Dude, what are you doing out here?
You should be in movies,
Who's your agent, man? Stella?
You with ADA on the east side?
Nothing? You can't just drop character like that,
You had the great scare, the great entrance,
You're fucking spooky and then you're just gonna drop it?
Alright look buddy, let me uh give you a little advice,
Ok, I've done a little acting myself and this is basic stuff,
real simple, It's Meisner, ok?
You gotta invent the memory, alright?
Now I know in real life you're probably this average Joe,
You know you spend a lot of time
fucking around in a corn maze,
Don't get laid enough,
Whatever, Whatever, Whatever your life is use that ok?
But when you put on that mask alright?
You've got to know that you are a psychotic murderer
capable of anything,
Alright it's um-
There's a quote from one of my favorite actors right,
Freddie Prinze Jr,
He always says, acting is living
truthfully under imaginary circumstances,
I think that's very true,
Dude I'm giving you gold here,
You should be writing this down,
Alright well good luck man, Jesus,
Fuck you too, I'm trying to help a guy out,
Fucking asshole,
Ok,
Nice try, dude,
Fuck,
Wendy!
Brandon?
Rustin?
Hey there, big boy,
Well, aren't you handsome?
You too,
Think you could give me a little pointer on how to get
out of these parts?
Oh, sweetie we're not allowed to tell you that,
That's right, right, right, $10,000 I get it,
But, maybe there's something else I can help you with,
I'm sorry, I'm not following you,
We're all alone out here,
Maybe, have a little fun,
Our little secret,
Ah, um yeah it's just,
I'm with someone, You know?
Oh, that's too bad,
What if I let you tie me up and do
whatever you want to me,
Oh, wow,
It's-that sounds like a friggin'
awesome idea 'cause you are like fire you know?
Now I'm gonna kill myself for saying this,
I just-I got to pass you know?
I got to be loyal, Just damn, you know?
Well I don't know could you at least run or something then?
I really need the exercise,
What?
And I really like it when they run,
What?
Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Ah!
You just fucking cut me,
Are you out of your fucking mind? Fuck!
You know what?
I like you,
I'm gonna give you a head start,
Ready? Ok,
1 one thousand,
2 one thousand,
3 one thousand,
4 one thousand,
Fuck this, man, Fuck,
6 one thousand,
7 one thousand,
8 one thousand,
9 one thousand,
Ready or not, here I come!
Whoa, They really stepped their game up,
It's ok, they're just trying to scare you,
You got this,
Dude, your outfit is creepy as shit,
What is up with this mask?
Come out, come out, wherever you are!
There you are, Gosh,
Oh no, no, no, no!
Ah ya!
You lose,
What the fuck are you doing?
You're supposed to be in path 4!
I'm sorry, I lost her,
What the fuck do you mean you lost her?
It means she's a fucking ninja,
Are you fucking kidding me?
God Damnit! Fuck,
Look, hey, hey, hey, hey,
I am sorry for yelling, okay,
She's really fast,
Yeah, I am sure she was,
Here, why don't you take pretty
boy here back to the lab and I'll try and find her, ok?
Oh my God he's so little,
I know but I'm still not strong enough to carry him back,
I am,
Yes you are!
Just take him back to the lab and I'll go try and find her,
Ok, Ok?
Oh,
Hey! By the way those peanut
butter delights you made were amazing!
Really?
Just as good as Mom used to make,
Hey dude, you uh,,, Can I run something by you?
I just, I came up with this thing
but I don't have anybody to show it to, and it's like,,,
Ready?
It's corn on the cock,
Yeah it's not my best, but it's- There's something there, right?
It's funny, It's just I don't know where to go with it,
Ya know?
Alright you're not a prop comedy guy, that's fine,
It's whatever, It's not for everyone,
Do you know what time it is?
I just, I've been walking around
this fucking place, it feels like hours,
I only got 2 hours to finish this thing and I don't
know if my friends are out yet or if- so could you just like-
I'm just so bad at reading stars, you know?
Alright, come on man, Just help me out,
Ok, you don't know my sister, she's gonna be such
a fucking cunt if she beats me in this thing,
Nothing, Alright, Hard sell, that's cool,
I get it, I get it, I get it,
Um, well I didn't want to have to
pull rank on you but uh,,,
I know Herschel,
So maybe you just got a little radio or something
you could, ya know, just like kind of walkie talkie to him,
let him know his buddy Rustin is
ready to get the fuck out of this maze,
That would-
Where are ya going?
I can see you,
You're just gonna walk? You're just gonna back-
You're not even gonna walk forward into it?
Really fucking cool, man, You know what?
Have fun stopping cousins from hand jobbing all
over each other out here you fucking douche bag,
Damn I hate this fucking maze,
And I will strike thee down with great vengeance and furious-
Fuck,
You talking to me?
I don't see anyone else here so you must be talking to me,
Huh?
Fucker,
Damn it,
Ok, You wanna play games?
Let's play games,
Say hello to my little friend,
Fuck you!
Oh that's it,
Now I have had it with this motherfucking scare-
Holy shit,
Shit, Hey, buddy, Hey, come on,
We've got to get you out of here,
Mel?
He killed me, man,
No, He didn't, wait,
No listen, I don't think I'm gonna make it,
You ever seen an arm fall off before?
No, I haven't,
About as bad as you'd expect,
I need you to listen,
What?
I just want you to know that I'm
your brother and I would never
forgive myself if I didn't tell you,
I thought you looked so fat today,
Just saying it's okay to say the truth sometimes,
Are you serious? Come on,
You know, carbs aren't always your friends,
I need you to help me,
No, listen! I need you to go into my room,
Under my bed
there's some really dark porn stuff,
I don't want mom and dad to see that,
Just been getting into some really deep fetish shit,
Some of it feels kind of illegal,
Mel, I hate you,
Fuck,
Did it look real?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I think that's the best acting I've ever done,
You see this snot?
No, I got a real tear,
We should get the fuck out of here, though,
These guys suck, dude,
Mel,
You seem busy,
I'm just gonna get the car,
Rustin!
I got him!
Oh good, you're awake,
What the fuck is going on?
I'm sorry we don't have time for that,
The process takes forever and if I told everyone what was going
on I would never get any work done,
Let me go you fucking crazy bitch!
No! Fuck no, no, no, no,
You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Look I'm gonna need you to stop struggling
or this is going to really hurt,
What the fuck is going to hurt?
What the fuck is that?
This is a Dermatome,
Do you know what that is?
What the fuck is that?
It's a Dermatome,
I just told you that!
Why don't men ever listen?
No, no, no, no, no, No, no, no,
I'm guessing you didn't go to medical school,
so I'm going to dumb this down for you,
This is a
DER-MA-TOME,
It removes your skin from your body,
No, please, please, please, no, please,
Here, Let me show you,
No, no, no, no, hold on, Hold on,
See? That simple,
It gets a lot harder around your eyes and nose,
but luckily you'll either be passed out or dead by then,
Please, please, please just let me go,
I want to go home, please,
Where's Wendy? Please, please, please,
You talk too much,
You're taking all the fun out of this,
I want to go home,
Wow, some men really are faster than others,
Glad I didn't let you tie me up,
that would have been a disappointment,
Gemma! Henry is hurt!
What the fuck happened?
That lesbian bitch stabbed him!
But he's dead?
Do something,
What do you want me to do?
He has a knife in his fucking head,
I don't know, I'm not a doctor!
He's dead!
He's not breathing and he has a knife in his fucking head!
Why do men make me repeat myself?
Who's still out there?
Deakin and Andy,
Where's Andy?
Path 2,
And Deakin?
I think he's looking for the lesbian,
Bernard, did she tell you she was a lesbian?
No,
Did you see her kissing a girl?
No,
Then why do you think she's a lesbian?
She was tough and strong,
Just because a woman is tough and strong
doesn't make her a lesbian,
It doesn't matter,
Which one of them was on path 2?
The Cheerleader I think,
Well hello there,
I'm Frosty The Clown
here for all of your frosty treat needs,
How has the maze been going?
Good, I think,
Hey can you tell me how long I've been out here?
Uhnt uh,
An hour and 20 minutes,
Fuck,
There goes the 10 grand,
I'm sorry,
You'll have to hurry to win any money,
So none of my friends have made it out yet?
I don't think so,
You see they ring the bell every time someone
wins the VIP maze,
and I haven't heard anything,
Have you?
No,
What's your name little girl?
Wendy,
Would like a treat, Wendy?
They're free of charge,
What'll it be, Kevin?
Well, Frosty, we've got some Push Pops,
some Drumsticks, and Twincycles that are blood orange,
So what will it be?
No thanks, I'm trying to win,
Hey, these sound delicious
but between you and me,
I've gained 5 pounds this week,
Are you sure? They're free,
Free, Free, free, free, free,
Free as can be,
Yeah, I should go if I'm gonna win,
Good luck!
Yeah, maybe I'll catch you at the end,
Not if I catch you first,
Wendy!
Let's go!
Found you,
Melanie,,,
Hey Mel, Mel,
Hey, Mel,
Mel, hey,
Hey, you're still here,
Hey,
Are you ok?
I'm ok,
How are you?
Ok, fuck,
It's bad,
They gave me something,
I can't feel it,
I looked down once,
That was enough,
Fuck,
Melanie I am so sorry I brought you guys here,
I'm so sorry,
No, it's not your fault,
It's not your fault,
I am so sorry, I'm scared,
I'm not ready to die,
I'm gonna get us out of here,
You're not gonna die,
I'm gonna get us out of here, ok?
I promise, You trust me, right?
Ok,
There she is,
the answer to all our prayers,
She's the one,
After all these years,
I was beginning to think that you were a myth,
I told you we'd find one,
15 years!
I can't believe it,
Your Mother would be so proud,
Your mother would be proud of all of you,
And you,
You took my boy away,
And if I didn't need you alive
I would really enjoy gutting you,
You're sure we need her alive?
It's not an exact science, but I wouldn't risk it,
How about that one?
No,
Oh,
Yeah we got everything we need from her,
You can kill her,
No! Thank you,
No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
No! No! No! No! No! No!
Oh God!
I'm gonna kill you, you son of a bitch!
I'm gonna kill every last one of you,
She's feisty!
Yeah, we still can't kill her yet,
Fuck you, you psychotic bitch!
I'm gonna cunt punch the shit out of you!
Oh,,,
What do you want from me?
What the fuck do you want from me?
You didn't tell her?
Oh, you have
no idea how special you are,
Tell her,
Ugh, we don't need to tell her,
Tell her,
I want her to know,
I want her to know how she
helped complete your Mother's work,
It has everything to do
with the hand stamp we gave you on the way into the park,
The stamp?
No one ever asks about that,
I mean what is the point of the stamp?
Truth be told, it's a litmus test,
It exposes those with a particular gene,
It's a relatively new gene,
It only happened in the last 30 years or so in human evolution,
And your friends skins are filled with it,
First, we remove the skin,
then we grind it down and make it into a liquid,
And then we turn it into a face cream,
Yeah,
And it stops the aging process just like that,
Florence's Miracle Face Cream!
You're crazy,
You're all fucking crazy!
Now your skin on the other hand,
Your skin has more of this gene
than we have ever encountered before,
That's why we need to keep you alive,
You see, when your heart stops beating your skin
fights to stay alive through osmosis,
sucking in everything from the
outside world tainting all of my research,
Your skin can stay alive for weeks after your dead,
how amazing is that?
Thanks for the science lesson you crazy bitch!
Hey I'll have you know I graduated with a PHD
in Biotechnology from UC Davis,
I have 5 Discovery Patents,
which is only two less than my mother's,
And you little sweetie, you're going to help me
isolate what makes your genes
special so we can find more people like you,
God Damnit!
Whoa ho, I like this one!
Honey, where are you gonna go?
You're surrounded,
and if by some miracle
you get past us
you're in a hundred acre corn maze,
It's over,
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
No! No! No!
Let's talk about this,
Fuck you!
No!
There you go,
Thank you,
Have a nice day, Thanks, you too,
Excuse me, I am looking to see if anyone has seen my son,
He went missing over a month ago,
Nice looking boy, but I am sorry I haven't seen him,
Here, let me ask my father,
Papa,,,
this nice woman's son is missing,
do you recognize him?
No, I don't, Sorry,
He looks like a good kid,
Have you contacted the police?
Yes I have, but he's over 18 and so he's not
considered a runaway, and there's no way to prove that he
didn't just take off so they've been no help,
Well that's just awful,
I'm so sorry,
Thank you,
Well I'll keep my eye out for him,
If I do see him is there a way to contact you?
Yeah, all my information is on the poster,
Ok, thank you, I am so sorry,
Thank you,
Alright, thanks,
Excuse me ma'am?
I know you're going through a rough time,
and from the looks of it you haven't slept much,
I haven't,
I want you to try this,
On no, I'm sorry - thank you though,
It's on the house,
Trust me, you deserve a little pampering,
It takes the days of worrying off the skin,
Go ahead, I promise you'll love it,
The scent it's really comforting,
Eucalyptus?
It reminds me of my son's room,
Gemma!
Well hey there,
I thought we had you in a medically induced coma,
but it seems the drip ran out,
I wonder how that happened,
Oh,,,
I'm sorry are you trying to say something?
You see, unfortunately when you sliced
your throat you did a number on
your vocal chords, but you missed the arteries,
Luckily I was able to stitch you back up,
and the progress has been amazing!
Ooh,,,
It looks like your pain meds are also starting to wear off,
I am so sorry about that sweetie,
I'll be right back,
I know the human body is a crazy thing right?
Did you know that if taken care of properly,
it only takes 2 weeks for human skin to grow back?
Yeah I know, so great!
So while we hunt for other people like
you we can rest easy knowing
that every two weeks we can just come back to you for more,
Now I am just going to get this going,
and in a couple of seconds you'll be back in that coma,
and you won't have to worry about any of this anymore,
There,,,
Nighty night,