I have done wrong within my eyes and yours,
In your ultimate jurisdiction, as always, I am at your mercy,
My desire is steadfast but at your will,
I am lost,
Bring me my penance,,,
That I might, through your exaction, re-visit peace without concern,
I beg you,
Let it be swift,
A child does not know true sin,
But we do,
Forhersake and the life she lived,
let us give thanks to the lord, our god,
Trust in him,
Believe in him, above all others,
Go in peace, my child,
So may we all,
Are you sure you're gonna be alright out there by yourselves?
Twelve miles,
- Mm, - That can be lonesome,
Yeah,
Are you still having those mind lapses, those spells?
Yeah, I'll be f,,, I'm fine,
How's Ethel's heart?
Uh, it's her chest, She's,,,
Got chronic bronchitis,
Well, she has you,
Yeah,
Have you considered your life,,,
Back on the other side of the altar?
This is a tragedy of strain, Frederic, for you,,,
And for her,
I'm happy that you found each other, Truly, I am,
I'm not asking you to come back,
It could be the best thing for you,
You can maintain a relationship with her, Frederic,
It would simply not be a physical one,
Maybe this is the best place for you,
And maybe this is god's way of telling you that,
You think god took our daughter away as a way of telling me to be priest again?
I'm sorry, I,,,
I just want to help,
Have you ever considered that you aren't, uh,,,
Even with god?
Are you talking about sin?
I'm talking about,,,
Penance,
I'm talking about punishment,
Now it's come,
It's come, and,,,
I'm still left to wonder is this all? I mean, could,,,?
Could it get worse? Is that possible?
Punishment for what?
You're a good man, Frederic,
You know this isn't the end,
Nothing ends so long as you stay on god's path,
Mm-hmm,
So,,,
You're going back up north?
What do you want, Frederic?
Just,,, peace,
What are you gonna do, then?
Pray,
Thank god I have you,
You'll always have me,
Hello, Frederic!
Hello, Doris!
- I got it, - Thank you,
Thank you,
I am always there,
I go there and look for a silk dress, but I can never find one,
I'd love a pink silk dress,
If you ever see one, just give me a call and let me know if you,,,
- Oh, I don't do much shopping, - You don't? Oh, I do, I love shopping,
Hi, Frederic!
How are you, Doris?
Oh, forget about me,
I'll bejust,,,
I guess I don't know how to feel,
I guess I'm in shock, you know?
I haven't felt this way since,,, Since my daddy died,
But that was so different,
You know?
You knew daddy so well, didn't you, Ethel?
Yes, Ye,,, yes, I did,
How are you, Frederic?
Are you still at the steakhouse, Doris?
Oh, yeah! Still there, You know me,
But I don't mind it,
Interesting people to meet there,
And it's a classy place, too,
so you get some people in there who are real,,,
You know?
- That's wonderful, - Well, I don't know about wonderful!
But it,,, but it's good, Yeah, it's good,
How are you, Ethel?
Tell me about school, Doris, Are you planning to go back?
It's kind of on the back-burner for now,
Was it a nice service?
Are you seeing anyone, Doris?
Oh, god, no,
Well, sorta,
Not really,
We're not calling it that,
Well, neither of them are calling it that,
I just need to stop waiting for a sign, or a change,
and just decide what I want,
And go for it,
You're good at that, Frederic,
Yeah, daddy always said that about you,
Real certain,
- Oh, he was,,, he was a good man, - Yeah,
Doris, it's, um,,,
- It's kind of a busy day, - Oh, yeah, of course,
I didn't mean to be rude, I just thought I would stop by cos,,,
You know, I,,,
She just loved that bicycle so much, you know?
It's ok, Doris,
You never did tell her, right?
No, Of course not,
Ok, That's good,
I think that's good,
I think she would've been disappointed,,,
With me as her mother,
And her father couldn't get 10,000 fucking miles away fast enough, could he?
Oh, my, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry for the language, I didn't mean,,,
I wasn't the right person for her,
Was I?
Of course, dear,
- And you too, Frederic? - Yes, Yeah,
And I always looked up to you both so much,
I hope I can be like you when I'm old,
Well, not old, but you know what I mean,
We appreciate you coming by, Doris,
Of course, I just, uh,,, Wish I could have made the service,
I just had to work, you know? And I need the money, but I,,,
I just sometimes,,, You know, I, um,,,
I get a little too eager, and I just ruin everything, and,,,
It's like she was never here,
I don't know what to do about it,
I'm sorry,
I'm silly, I know,
I'm so silly,
Anyway, you just take care, ok?
If you ever need anything, I'm just a phone call away for both of you,
- Thank you, Doris, - Yeah, Thank you,
- You,,, you keep a wonderful home, - Thank you,
- Yeah, Take care, ok? - Yeah,
Ok, thank you, Thank you,
Who are you?
It's my foot!
I thought I could manage it, but,,, it's sprained,
Bad,
Maybe cut, too, I'm afraid to look,
I need some help, Can you do that for me?
What happened?
I'm lost!
With your foot! What happened to your foot?
I'm lost!
I don't know what happened to it!
You don't know?
I must have jammed it!
And yours is the only house I've seen, Can you help me?
- You alone? - Yes, sir,
- You don't have a phone? - No, sir,
- Uh,,, - Please! Just let me get mended up,
Uh,,, I'm gonna bring out some supplies, some, uh,,,
You know, some first aid, and,,,
- Give you a ride to the bus station, - No, I ain't got no place to go!
Well, where were you headed?
I was supposed to meet somebody, And I got lost!
Can you help me?
- What's going on? - Where's the first aid?
- I don't know, What's going on? - It used to be here!
- Can you get some ice? - Why?
Frederic, what's going on? Frederic! Answer me,
Uh, there's a guy out there,
- There's a guy out there? - Yeah, Ok,
What does he want?
I don't know,
But he's, uh,,, he's hurt,
- Well, I'm gonna call the police, - Uh,,,
- It's ok, - No, I'm gonna call Mary,,,
And let her know,
Ask her to drive by,
- Yeah, fine, - Ok,
Yeah,
- You ok? - I love you,
I love you,
It's ok,
Hey, there!
Hey,
Come here,
Is he ok?
I don't know, Did you call Mary?
Yeah, she's gonna drop by later,
Can you get him a pillow?
Thanks,
- What are you doing? - He said he hurt his foot,
- Hey, Mary, - Hey,
Thank you so much for coming by,
Hey, Mary!
How are you, Frederic?
Oh, well, uh,,, well, we're ok,
Yeah?
I, uh,,, I hear you got a visitor,
- Yes, it's,,, this boy showed up, - Yeah, he's a young fellow,
He's busted himself up,
He's, uh,,, He's my cousin's nephew,
I hadn't seen him in so long, I hardly recognized him,
He was out,,,
Well, he said he was out hunting with his buddies and got lost,
But, uh,,, you know, he can,,, He can stay the night,
- Frederic? - Yeah, it's fine,
We're all good here,
Oh!
Ok, then, Nothing to, uh,,, To worry about?
No, no, We're,,, we're,,, We're gonna be fine,
You're sure?
Yeah,,, yeah,
Yeah, he's,,, He's gonna be fine,
How are you,,, How are you two holding up?
Uh,,, well, it's,,, It's ok, Mary,
And thanks for checking in,
Appreciate it,
- Ok, - Yeah,
- If you need anything else, you let me know, - Ok, Thanks,
- Ok, - Take care,
- What are you doing? - Did you think I was here to Rob you?
- Hurt you? - No, No, no, We just, uh,,,
Cos I can go,
Ican_,I,lshoumleave, Icanleave,
- I can go, - I think that would be best,
No, no, no, no, no,,, you can,,,
You can spend the night,
"Spend the night"?
What are you,,, What are you thinking?
We don't even know this boy!
And why did you lie to Mary?
I'm sorry, but the,,,
He needs our help!
I don't know, Frederic,
Ethel?
It's the right thing to do,
You must've been hungry,
Oh, famished,
What is your name?
- Aaron, - Aaron what?
Smith,
It's not very original, I know,
- So, who were you supposed to meet? - A friend of mine,
Not for a couple of days, God, I'm so embarrassed, I,,,
I'm completely turned around,
Where were you going to stay?
I was gonna bring my tent,
But I forgot it,
It sounds silly, I,,, I know,
But I've never been lost like this before,
And thank god I found this place and you kind people,
What was your friend's name?
Sorry?
Your friend's name,
I'm sorry, My,,,
I,,, ooh, my head hurts,
I'm sorry,
It's ok,
Ok, So,,,
- Is that couch gonna be ok for you? - Yeah,
- I'll go find a blanket, - Thank you, Both of you,
Ethel?
It,,, it is,,, It's Ethel, isn't it?
Yes,
Thank you for the food,
Not many people would do that,
Well, think nothing of it,
Everything ok?
Yeah,
Where'd you get that?
Oh, I found it,
Is that ok?
Yeah,
You catholic?
Are you?
Never was a big sleeper,
Well, you should try and get some rest,
We're gonna leave first thing in the morning,
Uh, maybe some hot tea?
I just,,, ah!
I, uh,,,
I'm cold,
I didn't,,,
I didn't want to rummage through your cupboards and get it myself,
- Yeah, sure, - Thank you,
Could you keep your voice down? Ethel hasn't slept well lately,
I'm sorry, Sorry,
So, how long have you been out here? Sorry, Shit, Sorry,
How long you been out here?
Uh,,, 22 years,
Same house?
Uh, ten years now,
Where were you before that?
Up north,
- Far from here, - Why'd you move?
- Where are you from? - Everywhere,
Was it because of a woman?
- Hmm? - When you moved from up north,
Was it because of a woman?
No, no, no,,, I've been a priest my whole life
until Ethel and I met, and,,,
Here we are,
I'm sorry about your daughter,
Excuse me?
I saw the card,,, The card from her funeral service,
I'm sorry,
It's pretty,
And she looks like you,
She was adopted,
Shit, I'm sorry, I,,,
Thank you, Thank you,
Oh!
So, you don't have any kids of your own?
- I don't mean to,,, you know, just,,, - You?
Kids? Oh, shit, no!
Wait, I thought, uh,,, You wasn't supposed to marry,
Well, no, Not when you're a priest,
What else you ain't supposed to do, then?
You know, I'm thinking maybe I should go back to bed,
I don't want to wake Ethel up,
Oh, yeah, You,,, yeah, You're,,,
You're here in mourning, And I'm being a burden, I should go,
- No, no, That's not what I meant, no, - I should leave,
No! No,,, no,
Like I said, you should,,, You know, you can stay the night,
I mean, where are you gonna go?
Thank you,
Do you want to talk about her?
Hey, how about,,, I'll tell you a story about me,
and then you tell me a story about you?
Well,,,
Ok, I'll go first,
- So, I was adopted at birth, too, - Mm-hmm,
Now, he was a coal miner who was a professional drug addict,
and she was a professional at looking the other way,
Anyway, mother would take me throwing rocks
- in this river near our house, - Mm,
And you know, it kept me away from him, and I was good at it,
I'd spend hours out there just throwing rocks in the water,
Over and over and over, you know?
So, this one day, I'm sick, I'm real sick,
I got a fever,
And mother puts me to bed, And she says, "stay put!"
And I,,, I didn't want to stay put, I wanted to go throw rocks in the water!
So, I said, "mother, please! Please take me throwing rocks!"
"I know it'll make me feel better, Please!" She says, "no,"
I said, "please, mother, please! Ten minutes!"
See, the river was only a two-three minute walk from our front door,
Mm-hmm,
She gives in, She don't like it, but she gives in,
So, we go outside,
And sweat's dripping off me from the fever,
Sweat's dripping off her from trying to deal with me,
We get down to the river, and we throw a bunch of rocks in,
and it's great,
But then,,,
I spot this giant rock,
And I get this feeling,
This intuition,
And it's like a spell,
And it ovennhelms me,
And I walk over to this rock,
And I,,,
And it's a big rock,
It's a bigger rock than anything I've ever picked up,
let alone thrown,
But I take a deep breath,
And with all my strength,
I somehow picked this rock up,
And then I walk with it to the lip of the water,
And then I raise it over my head!
And I heave it out into the water,
And it sails far, far,,, Farther than I ever even threw a pebble!
And then just as it's about to penetrate the water,,,
A goddamn catfish jumps out of the water!
The rock hits it on its head, kills it dead!
We spent twenty minutes looking for the catfish,
Go home, fever's gone,
That's a true story,
But we was late,
Woke daddy up,
He took the shovel to me, I spent a week in the hospital,
But the funny thing is,,,
If I didn't hit that catfish,
and I hadn't been late,,,
Then I wouldn't have gone to the hospital,
And I wouldn't have had a reason to hate him,
So, I gave myself the power to lift that rock, to be late,
to have a reason to hate that cock-sucking motherfucker,
I'm sorry,
Oh, it's ok,
So, where are you from?
Everywhere,
"Everywhere"?
Where are your adoptive parents?
- Down south, - Where down south?
Central,
- Whereabouts? - I can't remember,
They never stayed put long enough,
Hey,
I was kidding about that story,
I tell that one all the time, It's a good story, isn't it?
Yeah,
Yeah, I was kidding,
Everything except the shovel and the hospital,
I raised myself,
I raised myself, too, pretty much,
And then I joined the seminary,
Uh, joanie, our daughter,,,
Uh, she was,,,
Well, she was nothing like me,
Maybe that's why I loved her so much,
You asked me to come up with a story, and I can't think of one,
Not one,
You know, when I think of her,,,
I think about how she was the one thing in my life
that I really wanted to keep,,,
Safe,
God took her away from me,
You can't blame god for everything,
God knew exactly how much I loved her,
I don't,,,
I don't feel so good,
- Are you ok? - It's just,,,
I've got to,,,
Save me!
Save me, please!
J“ hoppin' and a-boppin' and singing his song
j“ all the little birdies on jaybird street
j“ love to hear the Robin go tweet, tweet, tweet
- j“ rockin' Robin - J“ tweet, tweet, tweet
- j“ rockin' Robin - j“ tweet, tweet, tweet
j“ oh, rockin' Robin, oh, we're really gonna rock tonight j“
Frederic, I don't know what I was thinking!
About what?
About Aaron and wanting him to leave!
Oh, we've been up for hours!
He told me all about himself,
I told him all about us, how we met,
He's really such a sweet boy!
I really like having him in the house!
Yeah, yeah,
- Ethel, I,,, - Thank god he's here,
Do you want some pancakes, Frederic?
Uh_,no, no,
Um, I've got some things to do,
Need a hand?
- No, I'm ok, - Ah,
Boy, I thought Ethel hated me,
Yeah, well, she's not the hating type,
No, No, she isn't,
But she was probably right to think I was crazy,
What you gonna do with all this wood?
I'll burn it,
Seems like a waste,
- Should get going soon, - You know, I have spells, too,
I'm sorry?
Visions,
Lapses, Memory lags,
- How did you find out,,,? - Ethel told me all about it,
How long have you been having yours?
Uh, twenty-odd years,
That's about ever since you moved from up north?
You know, Ethel said this was her family home,,,
What did you mean last night?
Huh?
"Save you",
Sometimes I say things I,,, I don't remember,
It's like someone else's words coming out of my mouth,
Lapses, You know what I mean,
Yeah,
I,,, I'm real sorry I startled you,
And I'm sorry to pry about your daughter,
That's none of my business,
I bet you were a great father,
Hey, why don't we give it one last go, huh?
- Oh, shit! - Careful! Watch yourself,
Shit! Here we go,
Oh! There we go,
- Easy at it! - There we go!
- I didn't build it for you, - Well, let's see what you got, old man!
Huh!
You've got to lean back further, anyway,
You gotta lean back? What, like this?
Pull on the ropes! Pull on the ropes! It's easier,
- Just lean back! - What?
- Pull on the ropes! - Yes, don't tell me! Show me!
- Let's see what you got, young man! - There you go!
Oh! Shit!
That's not bad! That's not bad!
- She's holding! - She's holding pretty good!
He reminds me of something,
A dream I had before we met ten years ago,
Just before bill died,
Tell me,
Well, I'd,,,
Been in the hospital with him,
24 hours a day,
It was the night before his fourth surgery,
His last one,
I couldn't sleep,
I knew he was gonna die,
I was so afraid of being a widow after bill passed,
Just being alone,
My fear outweighed my sympathy,
I couldn't sleep because of it,
So, I took a walk down the halls of the hospital,
And I found,,, I found a room,
An empty room,
I didn't know exactly where I was,
But I was so tired,
And I,,,
I finally closed my eyes,
And then I found myself on this deserted road all alone,
In this dense fog,
And this man started to walk towards me,
He was all dressed in black,
And he was carrying two buckets of water,
I was,,, I was so thirsty, I could barely swallow,
And he offered me the water that I,,,
That I needed so badly,
I was very grateful,
He was exactly what I wanted,
What I needed at that precise moment,
It was this face,
Oh, I loved you right away,
Bill died the next day in surgery,
I needed you, and you were there,
It was like,,,
It was like you knew,
I'd been afraid for so long,
So afraid,
You owe me,
Pardon me?
I told you a story the other night, You owe me one,
Was it hard to leave the priesthood?
It was, Yeah,
But you did it,
For Ethel,
Ain't that like a sin?
Sorry, I don't mean to pry,
How's your foot?
Oh, it's much better,
Much better, thank you, Do you want me to go?
I never said that,
So, who's this friend you're supposed to be meeting?
You,
Maybe there's something you can do for me,
- You can stay another night, - No,
I want you to kill me,
- Excuse me? - I want you to kill me, Frederic,
- Aaron? - I'm asking you, So, it ain't murder,
- Yes, it is, - No, it ain't,
Come on now,
- Please, - Why?
I can't do it myself, I need you to do it,
I think you know why,
Ok, I think it's time for you to leave,
If you don't kill me like I'm asking, I will take Ethel from you, I swear to god,
This isn't the church, Or your home up north,
You can't run from this, It's your punishment, You don't get to choose the conditions,
Frederic!
- Frederic! - You're leaving right now!
Where are my keys?
- Why? - Oh, for god's sake,
- Frederic, where are you going? - I'll be right back!
Frederic?
Frederic, what,,,?
What's going on?
Aaron?
Oh, my god!
Oh, my god! What happened?
Aaron?
Oh!
Oh, god! Aaron!
Aaron! Quick! Come here! Come here!
Get up! It's ok, It's ok,
It's ok,
- Ethel's such a sweet wife and mother, - Don't!
She likes me,
Doesn't want me to go,
Who are you?
Aaron,
- This is crazy, - Is it?
- I want to help, - Why'd you board up her room?
I can help you, but not like this,
- Why'd you board up her room? - What is it that you,,, you need?
I mean, really?
I already told you,
Well, then you need to leave us with our pain,
And save yourself,
That's what I'm trying to do, Frederic,
I'm trying to save myself as well as you,
You want to help,
Imagine being born into a body that nobody wants,
And nobody asked for,
Your muscles are confusing,
Your eyes are out of focus,
You have reflux, rash, infection, indigestion,
And no one cares,
Everything is a fight for survival,
Everyone is always poking and prodding and picking you up,
And all you can do is cry,
And what do they say?
"Shh,,,!"
Then you're passed on to someone else who says that they want you,
And you live with them,
And they're supposed to protect you, But they hurt you,
Oh, they hurt you,
They hurt you in ways you don't want to imagine,
They,,, they hurt you in ways that almost, almost stack up
to the way those who deserted you hurt you by not being there,
My existence,,,
Is a sin, Frederic, It's a mistake,
I was never supposed to be here, And now I am,
And I can't get out, I can't do it myself, I need you to do it,
That's the deal,
I was looking for you,
Long time,
'I found myself driving for days on end,
'I didn't know where or why,
'But then I stopped driving,'
just like that,
'It's like I was possessed,,,
',,,by something bigger than me, calling for me to do something for them,
'Then it all became so clear,
'I saw what I was being asked to do,
'And I couldn't control it,
'Your prayer so strong,'
I saw what I was forced to do,
'I was there for her, Frederic,
'I was there,'
and then I was lost again,
'Just like the day I was born,'
Except this time, it was different,
I was inhabited by something else,
and it wrestled within me, myself and this thing,
trying to become one,
And then I heard a beckoning,
I heard a calling,
And I knew it was you,,,
Reaching out, telling me where to go,
'Because you were praying for your punishment,'
and you were calling for it to go right to your front door,
'Well, those two things,,,'
',,,they became one,'
and here I am,
Admit it,
Wouldn't it feel good to kill me?
How did you know I was here?
- You called for me, - No, I never called for you,
Yes, you did,
Or do you think it was one of your lapses?
I don't want you here,
And you're not what,,,
Who you think you are,
They say god's children that aren't possessed of love,,,
Become possessed of something else, Frederic,
Fatherhood wasn't the same as brotherhood, was it?
I didn't ask for this,
Was she really your only child? No other family you left behind?
A little boy,
Your little boy,
A woman,,, You take against her will,
and she keeps it quiet for the good of the church,
But she dies in childbirth,
And you run away,
begin again in another clergy, your secret hidden,
Something like that, Frederic, well, that's a sin,
No, what you're asking me to do, that's a sin,
What if that child lived?
What if he scratched and clawed and made it through?
What if he's sitting right in front of you?
- I didn't pray for this, - Yes, you did,
Not like this!
You possessed me through your prayer, Frederic,
as punishment for your own sins,
and I was right there for her, Frederic, and I'm right here right now,
And you owe him,
You owe yourself,
- Are you telling me,,,? - Does he look how you thought he would?
How you pictured him?
No, this isn't,,, This is impossible,
- I can't, - You will,
I can't,
You can, You will,
I've made mistakes,,,
And I'm trying to make up for them,
- Did you feel guilty? - Of course! For,,, for disobeying god!
You feel guilty to god but no one else?
Isn't it god that brought me here, Frederic?
Isn't it god that's helping you with your penance?
Isn't it?
- Or are you too scared to face it? - Face what?
"Face what"? For fuck's sake, Frederic!
I can't leave here!
Think of Ethel!
You stay away from her!
Be the good, honest man she needs you to be,
- I can't! - You fucking can!
You fucking will!
Did I wake you?
No,
You slept soundly all night,
I've got to go out,
Where are you going?
Oh, uh,,,
I'll be right back,
Do you need anything?
- Frederic,,, - Have you ever sinned?
We have all sinned,
I mean something irreversible,
Something ungodly,
I, uh,,,
I met a woman many years ago, when I was still with the clergy,
back up, um,,,
Back home,
I,,, I felt something for her,
It was lust,
I,,, tried to quell it, but,,,
I couldn't,
And I,,, I,,, you know, I prayed, and I prayed,
But my prayers, they were never answered, no,
I just couldn't control myself,
Frederic, what did you do?
I ran,
I left,
That sin persisted, and now it's controlling me,
and it's demanding that I do something,
I mean, something awful,
I mean, how do I make things even
when the only way to do that is to commit another sin?
A sin will never cancel out a previous one,
- What if there's no other choice? - There's always a choice!
You have to listen to god and do what he tells you,
And how do I know with certainty who's answering my prayers?
Can you tell me what the voice of god sounds like?
Sorry,
The book of revelation,
God holds a book in his hand,
A scroll,
And it's opened by the lamb of god,
Jesus Christ, himself,
And in so doing,
he releases the four horsemen of the apocalypse,
cloaked in flames,
The end of all things,
You know this,
We all do,
Now, I see that,,,
As a symbol,
Nothing tangible,
It is sin itself,
Open it up, and you get action and choice,
Every day, we decide to do or not do things
which we believe are or are not a sin,
We open a book, We turn a page,
We have a drink, We start a fire,
We press a button,
Some are sins,
Some not,
So, who decides?
It depends on what hooks into you and won't let go,
God,,, gave us that choice,
That judgment,
But I see sin around me every day,
But I don't see any horseman in the streets,
Or balls of fire in the sky,
Sin,,, it has a life of its own,
What's important is knowing the difference between,,,
What's real
and what our conscience has created to punish us,
And always knowing which direction we're praying,
Be careful what you wish for,
But be certain what you pray for,
Ethel?
Hello?
Hello, dear,
- Is everything ok? - Perfect,
Everything is just perfect,
Where is he?
Pray with me,
Did he leave?
He said he wanted to go for a walk,
Pick some blueberries,,, for me,
I offered to go with him, but,,,
He wanted to go it alone,
He's very independent, you know?
Pray with me,
Yeah,,, yeah,
He's very independent,
Yeah,,, yeah,
And so thoughtful,
He's gonna take joanie's room,
Does he want that?
Why wouldn't he?
I,,, I think he was looking foward to getting on,
No, No,
No, he needs us,
- Frederic, - Huh?
No one has taken care of him his entire life,
And like you said,,,
He needs us,
Oh, Frederic,
Oh,,,
Bless us, o lord, and these, thy gifts,
which we are about to receive, from thy bounty,
Through Christ our lord, Amen,
- Amen, - Amen,
Mm! This is fantastic, Ethel,
- Thank you, Aaron, - Fantastic,
I hope so,
I was thinking,
We hold an annual blueberry festival here, It's downtown,
And people from all the other communities come out,
Well,,,
I thought that would be something that we could do together,
I used to be quite the blueberry picker,
Right, Frederic?
Yes, you were,
When is it?
A few weeks,
I can't wait,
Oh, good!
Ethel?
You ok?
Oh!
I'm ok,
Are you ok, Ethel?
- Yes, honey, Thank you, - Good,
Good,
Please, go,
- You're not doing this just for me, Frederic, - Stop it,
You're doing this for yourself,
It's not as easy as you say,
Why not?
You never intended for me to be born,
You didn't want me when I was, and now you can rid yourself of me for good
and make things even with your god,
I'm sorry I left you,
Do you mean that?
With all my heart,
Priesthood isn't,,,
Some of us have to put a face on for our parishioners,
We have to be an example,
The example,
And that takes discipline,
and it takes restraint,
And faith,
Your,,,
Your mother was a faithful parishioner,
And she,,, She saw me as an ideal,
And her admiration I took for yearning,
but her yearning was for god, not for me,
I confused the two, and I, uh,,,
I wanted the latter,
I knew she'd give it,
She was willing,
But only to the degree of the divinity she felt she was being a part of,
I,,, I lied to her,
promising a proximity to god that I didn't really have,
I just,,, I lied again right now,
I didn't confuse the two,
I knew exactly what I was doing,
I used your mother,
And I used god to take her,
And when you came along,
you were the result of everything that I despised in myself
that I couldn't control,
When I see you,,,
I mean,,, You don't remind me of her,
You remind me of me,
Yeah,
Then do this,
I can't,
- Do it, - I won't,
Do you know what it means for a man of god to kill?
Even one that's flawed?
It means the end of everything,
Mankind will be punished,
It'll be fire and fury!
Maybe you're the only one who'll be punished,
and maybe it'll be your punishment that sets you free,
I almost lost god once before, and I will not lose him for good,
Are you sure you haven't done that already?
- I don't know, I don't,,, - Please,
Please,
I can't,
You think god'll punish for showing mercy?
This isn't mercy, It doesn't work that way,
- This is a life! - That's funny coming from you,
Why is god always right? This man you never even met?
I have met him, He's here,
He's a part of me,
- And I will not disobey him, just,,, - Jesus Christ!
You already disobeyed, Frederic! Did you think he wasn't looking?
Do it,
- No! - Do it,
You think he'll kill you if you do this? Is that it?
No, I said he'd punish,
Isn't that what you wanted? Isn't that what you prayed for?
I prayed for my punishment, not the punishment of mankind!
"Mankind"? Who do you think you are?
Was it even god you were praying to?
Do you even know?
- I,,, I believe,,, - The devil?
- No! - Why not?
- No! - Does god scare you more than the devil?
- Is that it? - Yes!
- Why? - Because!
Because god can lead you to paradise, Aaron,
And he can show you all that's righteous and noble,
And I know this,
If you break his rules,
in an instant,,,
In an instant,,,
He can scorch your soul,
leaving you with the memory of what you once had,
an incessant reminder how you are to blame,
And even the devil can't do that,
And I'm not willing to take that risk again,
What risk are you willing to take?
I'll get it!
Aaron,,, Aaron!
- Doris! - Hi, Frederic!
I'm sorry,
Can I come in?
I'm sorry, Is everything alright?
I just, um,,,
Please?
- Well, of course you can come in, yes! - Yes, come in!
- My goodness! Come in out of the rain! - Thank you,
- This is Aaron, - Come in,
He's a family friend,
- Nice to meet you, - Nice to meet you,
Can we,,, can we go,,,?
Um, is there something you want to,,,?
Can we,,, can we talk here?
Don't mind me,
- I can go outside, - Oh, no,
- I'll go outside, - It's raining,
- I couldn't possibly ask you to go, - It's late, Doris,
- Please stay, You're family, - Are you sure?
And it's silly, really, what I have to ask,
But yes, please stay,
Ok, Thank you, Well, I'll stay out of the way,
Ok, go ahead,
Have a seat,
- What's happening? - Oh, god,
Well, I, um,,, I can't sleep,
At all, For days now, Ever since,,,
You know, and I, um,,,
Well, I feel like,,,
I've been having nightmares,
Nightmares that I didn't make her strong enough,
- Ah, - And I could have been healthier,
It's ok, Doris, It's ok,
You did great,
No, but I had a glass of champagne while I was pregnant,
I'm really sorry I did that,
It was my cousin's birthday, and it was only one, and I,,,
- Doris! - I was only four months!
Doris! You did great,
I could have done better,
I could have been better,
I could have made her a stronger girl,
I'm really sorry,
I'm so, so sorry, I let you down,
You let no one down,
You gave us a divine gift,
And you're always welcome in this house,
- Yeah? - Yeah,
I guess Ethel is sleeping?
Yeah, She's out like a light,
Yeah,
Could you, um,,,?
Would you mind,,,?
Could you bless me?
Read me a passage, maybe?
It would mean a lot to me, and,,,
I think it would help me sleep,
Sure, Sure,
Thank you so much, Frederic,
- Thank you, - Mm,
I'll just,,, I'll get the book,
- Thank you so much, - Yeah, I'll be right back,
Sin,
It has a life of its own,
It can possess,
- I've been having nightmares, - And it all became so clear,
Alter things that can make us see things
and hear things, not as they are,
Does he look how you thought he would?
Transformed,
- This is what you prayed for, - I really like having him in the house,
He's gonna take joanie's room,
What did you do to her?
You can stop this, Frederic, Right now,
I'm calling the police,
Do this, Frederic,
- Hello, I need to call in a,,, - Do it,
- That's enough!
Oh, my god!
- Doris! - Oh, god! Doris!
Dohs? Vvhathappened?
What happened?
I did it,
That's right, you barren old cunt, I fucking did it,
And what's your pussy husband gonna do about it?
He'd be about my age, wouldn't he, Frederic?
He misses you,
And what about his mother?
Didn't even go to the funeral,
Would have brought attention to it, I guess,
His first little family,
An accident, scratched off the books, for no one to see,
No, Frederic,
Except for god, Frederic,
God doesn't work this way,
God didn't create this, You did,
Your prayer was out there, Frederic, and I answered it,
We made a fucking deal,
- I never made a deal with you, - That little boy is gone now,
And I'm what's left,
Ethel?
Stay away from her!
- Stay away from her! - Do it, you fucking fraud!
Do it! You owe him!
- You,,, you stay away from her! - I will fucking kill her, Frederic,
Do you hear me? I will fucking kill her!
- Please! Stop! - Do it, Do it,
- Fuck, - Do it for god's fucking sake! Do it!
Do it!
Ugh! Huh_j
I love you!
I love you, too,
Frederic?