Hey sweetheart, I'm in Sydney,
- Are you serious? - Yeah,
Yeah, I thought this,
I thought this might actually be some good news,
I owe you an explanation,
Alison!
[gasping]
Jesus! Get an ambulance!
How dare you go around saying things about my son,
Your whole family owes me,
You fucking owe me,
I know it wasn't my fault,
I left that night,
[Screaming] No!
Fuck!
How did you want this to play out?
I don't know, I didn't think, obviously
What if this life had been us?
Who the fuck are you?
Nothing happened,
If you say so,
[Alison] It was really good to see you again,
I don't want to run from the past anymore Dan,
["I Fall Apart" by Rory Gallagher playing]
# Like a cat that's playing with a ball of twine #
# That you call my heart #
# Oh but baby, is it so hard to tell the two apart? #
# And so slowly you unwind me until I fall apart #
[song starts playing through headphones]
# I'm only living for the hour that I see your face #
# When that happens, I don't want to be no other place,,, #
[sirens, dogs barking]
When will she be back?
She's not coming back,
She didn't say anything about leaving,
She talked to you about it, right?
She left me a note,
None of this makes sense,
Did something happen? You don't,,,
You don't just up and leave home at 17, Peter,
Look,,,
Whenever she's settled I'm sure she'll be in touch,
How are you so calm?
Because I can guarantee ya,,,
wherever she is now,,,
she's happier than she were here,
[footsteps descending stairs]
I bought her a birthday present,
Who are you?
- He's just leaving, - I'm Alison's boyfriend,
Yeah?
So she left you and all,
I wouldn't worry too much about it,
She were probably shagging a few lads,
- Fucking bitch, - Stop it,
Thought too much of herself,
She'll see in the real world - she'll get her comeuppance,
Ungrateful cow,
And this one - off to the army,
You give them everything,,,
and they're happy to just leave you on your own,
Selfish brats,
[tense music]
[music playing] [people chattering]
[Alison VO] Dear Daniel, you've probably already worked out
from the postmark - I'm in Ireland,
It's really cool, hey?
There's a great music scene, You'd love it,
I miss ya, and I'm so sorry I didn't come see you
before I left,
[chattering]
[man] Hey Mark, it's fine,
[man whistling]
Hey ah,,,
Can I help you?
Yeah, just three pints, please,
And just join us for a drink, yeah?
Got a smile for us, love?
Come on, Just a little,
[men laughing]
[man] Hey, give her a break,
We're just messing around,
- I'll get these, yeah? - Really, yeah?
Thanks,
They're dickheads,
Can I buy you a drink to say sorry?
No, thank you, I'm working,
That's not an Irish accent, Are you from England?
I'm busy,
No worries,
I'm staying in some digs near here,
Might see you about,
I'm Michael, by the way,
Nice to meet you, Michael,
I know he loves me,
Um,,,
But sometimes it just feels,,,
suffocating,
Um, he's used to being in control,
But that's your job, right?
To, to be in control,
But you can't, you can't control another person,
I mean he - you tracked my phone,
You followed me,
Can you explain your thinking behind that, Michael?
Oh, look, I don't think it's that unusual
to have a family tracking plan on iPhones,
I know a lot of people who do that,
But you didn't tell Alison or Stella that you had that plan,
Hmm,,,
You do accept that Alison is allowed her privacy?
Of course I do,
[Michael] But, Alison is so,,,
You're so in yourself,
that sometimes I just feel like I'm trying to find you,
And if that's suffocating,
Yeah, I'm sorry,
Do you feel like you've shut yourself off to Michael, Alison?
No,
Ah,,,
Maybe, I'm,,,
Not consciously,
But there's some stuff that he doesn't ask about,
I mean, you've never even asked about my past,
You don't want to talk about that,
Why do you just accept that?
So I'm either suffocating you or I'm giving you too much space,
Like, which is it?
There's work here, but there's also love, I can see that,
- There we go, - No!
How's Alex getting on?
Oh, he's, he's good, He is planning to go to the Highlands
with his mate for half term, yeah,
I do not know how much studying he is doing,
That sounds familiar, don't it?
But he is happy,
Marian were in bits when Dan moved out,
- I was not, - Yes, you were,
Not as bad as you stuck in that shed all day with your pigeons,
- That's not true, - He cried, you know,
[Marian] You did,
Right, well I'll go, go check the oven,
- Modern man, hey? - Aye,
Got to go myself, Have a waz,
- Bill! - See you later, ooh,,,
- Watch it, - Mind your hip,
[tense music rising]
[ragged breathing]
[gentle music]
We weren't expecting you back from America so soon,
Weren't you meant to be there for a few weeks,
Yeah, even longer,
I just had to come back and sort some stuff out,
Is everything okay?
No, not really,
Oh, I see,
You must have had that, with Bill, right?
Weren't there moments where you were ready to just give up?
I don't understand,
I get that two people don't change at the same time, but,,,
What if you haven't changed?
What if you're just not on the same page anymore?
I'm lost, love,
It's okay, It doesn't matter,
Love,,,
Marriages are hard, aren't they?
Times I'd happily strangle Bill, but,,,
Well, all that matters is,,,
that you're honest with one another and,
I'm sure everything will be fine, love,
[door opening and closing]
- Bye, Mum, - Ta, love, bye,
["Background Check" by Display Homes playing]
# It pops out #
# Pops back down and won't take my look #
[music stops]
- [Alison] Hey, - Hey,
Just checking in,
How's counselling?
How did you know we're at the counsellor's?
I'm not a complete moron,
Well, you're not a moron at all,
[Alison sighing]
You know, sometimes,
sometimes you just need some help with your problems,
That's all,
Dad and I love you very much, You know that, don't you?
This has got nothing to do with you or Thea,
But all this kicked off when all that stuff happened,
No it didn't, darling, I promise,
This is our own stuff,
Are we going to keep doing this?
Avoiding each other?
I think I'm just afraid of what's going to come out
when we start talking,
She um, lives in Sydney,
This author that you pretended you didn't know,
There were no direct flights to New Zealand, Kat,
There is so little we have in common anymore, Dan,
but the inability to lie well is still true for the both of us,
Did you go there to see her?
Look, it were a stop over on my route to see Jack Leonard,
And yes, I did see her when I were in Sydney,
Look, it's not like you think,
Right, when we were kids, we were together and,
and she left Sheffield suddenly,
and, and I just wanted to know why, That were it,
Why didn't you tell me that?
- You could have, - I don't know, I don't know,
I don't know, You're right,
I should have been straight with you from the start,
I should have been, but you know,
we've been going through this weird space
and I just felt like this was my thing,
I needed some answers,
Honestly Kat, it were no more than that,
We've been together for decades,
and you've never even mentioned her,
Why not?
I'm sorry, Kat,
I'll make it better,
Look, I'm sorry, but you are so fucking boring at the moment,
Come on, one party! I need a wingman,
- You don't need a wingman, - Yeah, right,
There's that bird from that convent school,
Roz something, I don't know,
I want her to think I'm nice and respectable,
I'm definitely not open with that,
See! Dull,
Come on!
Here, isn't that Peter?
Peter!
I didn't know you were back,
Has there been any word from Al?
- Is she okay? - Look mate, I have to get on,
[Duncan] He's not stopped pining for her, the idiot,
For fuck's sake! What's fucking wrong with your family?
Hey, why won't you tell me where she is?
My mum's died,
[whispering] Jesus,,,
I'm sorry,
Just leave it, come on,
[phone ringing]
Okay, just let me get her for you,
[man] There's someone on the phone for you,
Hello?
- [Peter on phone] Hi, Al, - Peter!
Listen, I've got bad news,
[Alison] What's wrong?
It's, it's Mum,
[Peter] She, ah,,,
She died,
She fell down the stairs,
When, when's the funeral?
Tuesday,
So I'm going to wire you the money for your flights,
Or if you don't think you can do it alone,
I'll come over and get ya,
Why is it so soon? Can't we wait a week?
She was seeing that prick Baxter again,
He was with her when she died,
He'd already been on to the funeral directors,
The bastard didn't tell me for two full days she were dead,
And he's going around now acting like a chief mourner,
[sniffling]
I can't,,,
I can't come home, Peter, I can't come home,
What you talking about?
I'll pay, Ali, you don't have to worry about,,,
- [Alison] I'm not coming back, - What!
Look, I know you're upset, I understand,
But she was our mum,
Alison, you have to do this,
Even if you're angry with her, yeah?
Trust me,
You'll regret it
She was on the fucking stairs while she was drunk,
I'm not going to a funeral,
[phone clanging]
[Alison crying]
[Cass] You're positive? Like a hundred percent?
You were so reluctant before, what happened?
Yeah, I just, I just made up my mind,
Babe, I could kiss you, This is great news,
I'm going to get onto the PR company -
confirm all the interviews,
and we're going to sort you out some lovely hotels,
Okay,
And will it just be you or you coming with Michael?
Can I get back to you on that?
Sure,
[mobile phone chiming]
Hm, speak of the devil,
- Michael, - [Cass laughing]
Michael, I said I wanted to talk about something important,
I know, I know, I just wanted to do something nice for you,
It's still allowed, isn't it? Some bubbles,
You may recognise this,
- Tasmania, - Yeah, Tasmania, your favourite,
- [cork popping] - Oh,,,
- Great, - Here you go,
Ladies first,
A nice big pour,
[Alison] Thanks,
Okay, and uno mas,
There we go,
- Cheers my love, - Cheers,
Mm, please, please, Sit, sit, sit,
We need a bit more of this, huh? Being a couple,
Hmm,
I love you,
I know,
So you told Cass that you're doing the tour?
Yes, I did,
I was thinking,,,
I am due a lot of leave,
What if I came with you?
That's what I wanted to talk about,
Oh really? You thought that too?
No,,,
Actually I thought it might be a good idea for us
to have some time apart,
Alison,,,
I want to do this on my own, Michael,
What about Thea, and Stella?
With everything she's been through,
Oh, Stella's stronger than you think,
It really doesn't matter how hard I try, does it?
You've changed?
Yes,,,
I have,
[Katja] Hmm, yes, I know,,,
Steven, you have to stop ringing me, I have to go,
Who was that?
Ah, a telemarketer, Did you get the steaks?
I did, I did, Also got us a lovely bottle of red,
So I thought we could, you know, put these on
and try and have a nice night in,
That is, nice,
["I Love You" by The Brian Jonestown Massacre playing]
[mobile phone buzzing]
Kat, your phone!
[phone buzzing again]
Is there something you need to tell me,
[Marian] You sure you don't want something to eat?
No, no, I'm fine, I'm alright,
Well you can stay here as long as you like, son,
You know that,
But you are going to have to sort it out eventually,
Yeah, yeah, I will, but not now,
Mum, did I ever get any letters?
What?
It was just, Alison said that she sent me letters,
Did they come here when I went up to uni?
Did you put them up for me or something?
Mum?
Oh, it was so long ago now, all of that,
Mum? What did you do?
You're my son,
Wouldn't you do aught to protect your Alex?
No, Tell me that you didn't do that,
I'm sorry, Dan,
I did what I thought were best,
She had a hold on you that girl and well, she broke your heart,
I knew she would,
I were right,
It were better she was just, gone,
No, no, no, You, you had no right,
Do you understand me? You had no right to do that,
You couldn't even begin to imagine what she'd gone through,
[Marian] I realise that now,
Maybe even realised it at the time, but,,,
I was scared of losing you,
Well, where are they? Did you keep them?
[Dan whispering] Oh, Mum,
[sighing]
It would've made everything different in my life -
my whole life,
You were only kids, I didn't think,,,
Yeah, you didn't think, did ya?
- Dan! - No!
You didn't think! My whole life, Mum,
Oh Dan, I'm sorry,
Don't go,
[sobbing]
[mournful music]
[people chattering]
[Peter] Yeah, thanks,
She didn't come then?
No,,,
She didn't,
I suppose it's a bit of a way for her,
Where is she, Peter?
Ireland,
She's working in a bar in Dublin,
- Ireland? - Yeah,
Alright, I have to get on, mate,
I have my savings and I'm selling all my records,
You've been working for a long time
on that American trip, son,
But I'm worried I'll run out, The flights are expensive
and even if I stay in a hostel,,,
I'll lend you a few bob, you won't be short,
- You will? - Yeah,
You believe she's worth it and so do I,
Your mum will have to wait for a microwave, mind,
Hey, hey, hey,
- Cheers, Dad, - It's alright,
- Appreciate it, - Go get her,
Have you heard from your brother?
- Yeah, - Hmm?
He wants me to go home,
Well, it's your choice, Alison,
Now, I'm sure Peter loves you, but you said it yourself,
He's got to live his life,
Because if you do go back there,
he's going to feel like he needs to look after you, isn't he?
How's he going to do that when he's in the army?
I don't know,
Like we always looked out for each other,
but now, I mean, it's not like this is my long term plan,
I love it, but I don't even know anybody here,
You're the first friend I've made,
and you're going back to Australia,
Yeah, the greatest country on Earth,
[laughing]
You're beautiful when you do that,
You should smile just like that on our wedding day,
You barely know me,
I know you, You're just like me,
You travelled over here on your own, looking to see the world,
You're fun, Alison Connor,
["Live It Up" by Mental As Anything playing]
[Michael singing] # Hey there you with the sad face #
# Come up to my place and live it up #
[both laughing]
Jesus Christ,
I've been thinking, Hear me out,
My parents are really well connected,
My dad's got me this internship at this hospital in Sydney,
Well, I reckon he could get you something,
and you would love Australia,
I'd look after you there like it is pretty far from Sheffield,
But it'd be a great adventure,
I don't know, It feels huge,
Yeah, and what about, who's that woman you've been writing to?
- Is it, is it like Sheila? - Yeah,
[Michael] Well, wouldn't it be good to see her?
# Hey there you with the sad face #
# Come up to my place and live it up #
# You beside the dance floor #
# What do you cry for,,, #
[sad music rising]
[breathing deeply]
[sad music continues]
[Sheila on phone] Of course, I'm delighted to hear from you,
And you're in Ireland?
You don't hang about do you, hey? Travelling already!
Yeah, I guess I got the bug, That's why I'm ringing, really,
I've, I've, well, I've met somebody,
and he's Australian and he's suggested,,,
[Sheila] No! Are you coming out here?
- Would that be weird? - Weird!
Look, I'm getting a spare room ready as we speak,
[Katja] It was just one night, I was drunk,
and really upset about us,
And this work colleague of yours,
he offered you his penis to cry on, did he?
It's not quite the same, is it?
- No, it's not the same, Kat, - I made a mistake!
- You slept with somebody,,, - I didn't fly halfway around
the world to meet an ex that you've never told me about,
A woman that you've seemingly not been able to get over
for the past 20 odd fucking years,
Well,,,
Look, I'm, I'm sorry,
[Katja] I think we just need to face up to it,
We've grown apart, Dan,
I don't know, I guess when Alex was there,
he was something that we were both focusing on,
But now, who are we?
I mean, when was the last time we even had sex?
I don't mean, plain, vanilla, lights off sex,
I mean actual proper fucking!
And that's why you went with him, was it?
Proper lusty fucking sex?
[Dan] Jesus Christ!
Come on,,,
I'm sorry, right? I don't want us to be like this, Okay?
I know you, Dan,
I'm not letting you use this as your get-out clause,
You're not as angry as you're acting,
Your head is somewhere else,
It's on her,
Look, it doesn't matter who's done what, who's right or wrong,
I wanted something different, too,
That's why I suggested the States, That's why I,,,
did what I did,
If, if we'd been happy,
it would never even have entered my mind,
But it meant something to you when you went to Australia,
And that's just facts,
So what are you saying?
I think you know what I'm saying?
I love you, Dan,
I know you love me too, but,,,
we're not in love anymore,
I'm not saying it doesn't hurt,
but we don't have to settle for this,
Yeah, it's just,,,
I think I'm just, you know,
I just don't want to lose you Kat, you know,
and I don't want to lose Alex,
and you know, I don't want to lose my life,
[Katja] No, you're not going to lose your life, Dan,
[crying] Sorry,
We're family,
- Alright? - Yeah,
Yeah,
We always agreed we would be on the same team,
We'd make plans together, you know, decide things together,
You agreed, You made the decisions,
You just let me think I was making them too,
Excuse me,
It's about control, I see that now,
[Michael] What are you talking about?
Michael has a way of doing things where he talks to you
as though you're already on the same page,
Like recently I said I had to talk to him
about something important
and he ambushed me with champagne and crudite,
So I'd be on the back foot,
Sorry, I forgot my wife doesn't like romance,
He's a wing clipper, He shuts me down,
Are you kidding me? I practically had to beg you
to come here for a second session so that we could talk,
If anything, you're shutting me down,
Michael doesn't make me do anything,
And yet I always seem to end up doing exactly as he pleases,
Like with Sheffield for instance,
I should have gone back to resolve things,
but he was too afraid that he'd lose me,
How do you come out with the stupidest thing sometimes,
Maybe we need to take a short break,
I'm sorry, This was his idea,
I should have been honest from the start,
I need a break from this marriage,
I'm done,
Why don't you just be honest with us, Alison,
This isn't about me, It's the old boyfriend,
The one you fucked, the last time you abandoned your family,
Fuck off, Michael,
[pensive music rising]
[Alison] Hi, Peter,
Yeah, sis, come here,
[both crying and exclaiming]
Oh, let me look at you,
I bet you miss home comforts, like they say,
Ah, Sheila's always getting stuff sent over, Thank you,
She loves serving me heart attacks on a plate,
Of course, Sheila, How is she?
She's,,, well she's good, She's kooky as anything,
She was asking after you, actually,
I can't believe you're here,
Three whole weeks,
Well, some of it in London,
Oh well, we'll come down and see you if you like,
- Won't we, Peter? - I'd love that,
Yeah,
Are you two okay if I nip out to work?
- Oh yeah, - Yeah,
- We'll be fine, won't we love? - Yeah, of course,
- Lovely to meet you, Alison, - Oh, you too,
[John] Peter's always talking about you,
I feel like I know you already,
I can see how happy you both are,
and I really hope that I get to know you more,
Yeah, of course,
- See you later, - Yeah,
- Take care, - Yeah, you too,
Peter, he's lovely,
Aye, he's the best,
I can't believe Thea is in uni now,
Ah, yes,
And Stella's almost ready to leave the nest,
Mm,
You did well with them girls,
Thank you,
Well Thea, she's, she's never been any trouble,
but Stella, she's um,,,
Well Stella's Stella, She's not without her problems,
We all have them,
Peter!
- I'm sorry, - I'm sorry,
My God, what do you have to be sorry for?
[sobbing]
I should have made more of an effort,
No, I wish,,,
I wish I had made you feel more welcome to come and visit,
I wish I'd, I dealt with things differently back then,
You're here now, Al, and that's all that matters,
What happened?
To bring this all on now?
[sharp exhale]
I don't know,
It's um,,,
It's been building,
There's tension between Michael and I,
And then, well I had a,,,
I had a blast from the past,
and,,,
and it shook me,
What was the blast from the past?
Oh just, just somebody I used to know,
Wouldn't be called Daniel, would he?
What makes you say that?
It took him a long time to get over you,
And I figured, he went looking for you that first time,
he'd try again,
What do you mean the first time?
He was broken-hearted,
Then I told him where you'd gone,
The next thing I heard, he'd booked a ticket to Dublin and,,,
He was there for a few days,
He come back without you, and,,,
And you never mentioned it, so,,,
I don't know, I just,,,
I wondered if he ever really got over ya,
He followed me?
He never even replied to the letters, He,,,
He never said anything,
He was a good lad,
It's rare to love somebody that much so young,
Do you mind if I pop out for a little bit?
- Not at all, - I'll be back,
I'll still be here,
[Bill singing] # Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me #
# Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee #
If misery walked,
[sighing] Just give us a break, Dad,
Your marriage is over, Cry me a river,
[Dan] Cry you a river!?
What? You been taking counselling lessons,
or something?
It's been coming, son, That's all I'm saying,
It's no surprise, is it?
I love your Katja, don't get me wrong,
But she were never really the one,
Bloody hell!
It's like everybody knows more about me life than I do,
- Dad, can I ask you something? - Hmm?
Did you know about the letters that Alison wrote back then?
Mum chucked them in the bin before I could see 'em,
No, I did not,
Your mum's a wonder, son,
But she is prone to acting before she thinks,
What can I say?
She didn't know I offered you a loan to go to Ireland,
It's a long time ago, Put it behind you,
Seems like there's some things you can't move on from,
You know what my biggest regret is?
I just didn't fight for her,
- Alison, I mean, - Yeah,
Oh, she had such a hard life and nobody fought for her,
You're looking down the barrel of a divorce
and still thinking about your first love,
That should be telling you something,
Well, she's married now, isn't she?
- Happily? - Ha,,,
Well to be honest, he were a right twat,
Anyway, it's too soon for all that,
- I need time to, you know,,, - Be miserable?
Yes, Dad, be miserable, Thank you,
- Anyway, how drunk are you? - Not drunk enough,
Come on, let's go to pub,
You can pine for the love of your life
with a proper pint in front of you,
[gentle music]
Sorry, Mum,
[plaintive music]
[sirens]
[gentle music]
[knocking]
Hello, Mrs, O'Toole,
Alison,
Um, well you must come in,
Thank you, Thank you,
- Is tea okay, Alison? - Yeah, thanks,
You've changed your hair,
Obviously the sun suits you,
Well, took me a few years to adjust,
You sound like one of them and all, don't ya?
Shall I pour for you?
Oh yeah, Thanks,
So, um, you just back to promote your book?
Yes,
- Milk? - Please,
Tell me when,
Ah, that's perfect,
- Sugar, help yourself, - Yeah,
And you're married?
I am, yeah,
- You've got kids? - I have two, I have two girls,
- Yeah, - Been busy,
I have been busy, yeah,
It is crazy, you remembering our Daniel after all this time,
Well he meant a lot to me,
You were so young,
How old were you and Bill when you got together?
Well,,,
They were different times, weren't it?
Just daft kids,
I'm staying with my brother, Peter,
Oh,,,
He told me that Daniel came looking for me, after I'd left,
I think when, you know, when, when you have kids,
you just, you want to do anything to protect them,
You want them to have the very best of things,
Can I just say, Alison,,,
I am so very sorry,,,
I am, About all of it,
There were problems back then,
You were being a good mum,
But I'd very much like to talk to Daniel, now,
- Just saying, I know things son, - I know, Dad,
- You're always just saying, - You got one shot at life,,,
Yeah, okay, thank you,
Let me finish,
You pair made a mess of things when you were kids,
I'm not saying either of you wasted your life,
You made the best of it,
But it hasn't worked out,
Oh well, thanks for that, Dad,
You're not kids anymore, that's what I mean,
It's like my pigeons,
We all make our way home eventually,
It's just taken you longer,
She's your home, son,
[mobile phone ringing]
Hi ya,
[Peter on phone] Hey ya, I was just going to say
I booked somewhere for dinner,
We can eat in if you need a bit more time,
Oh, ah yes, That'd be great,
Um,,,
I just have something to do first, or,,,
or not, I can't decide,
[Peter] Where are ya?
I am standing out the front of a pub,
deliberating whether or not to go in,
Alright, You know, if you're off the drink,
it's never a good idea to go to a pub,
Oh Christ, No, I'm not, I'm not like our Mum,
No, there's just somebody inside I want to talk to,
[Peter] Somebody?
Daniel,
[Peter] Ah, why don't you go in then?
Because I think he might be with his wife,
And I got no way to check because he a,,,
I think he blocked my phone number,
[Peter] Alright, There's a lot to unpack there,
Can I give you some advice?
Yeah, I wish you would,
[Peter] Life's too short to have regrets,
Love is worth fighting for,
Huh, You old poet,
[Peter] Don't I know it,
Bye, love,
[deep sigh]
[indistinct chattering]
[people chattering] [music playing]
[mobile phone chiming]
["Lovesong" by The Cure playing]
# Whenever I'm alone with you #
# You make me feel like I am home again #
# Whenever I'm alone with you #
# You make me feel like I am whole again #
# Whenever I'm alone with you #
# You make me feel like I am young again #
# Whenever I'm alone with you #
# You make me feel like I am fun again #
# However far away I will always love you #
# However long I stay I will always love you #
# I will always love you #
[gentle music]