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Armenians report to the square immediately!
What are you doing? Get away from my trunk,
There's a boy missing --
I'm a Turk, You have no right touching my things!
Never lose your smile, Garo,
No matter what happens in life,
you must always keep your beautiful smile,
Now, fly away little stork,
Carry us with you in your heart ,,,
,,,and one day, you will return home,
Get everything on the cart now!
Stop here,
So, we'll meet you at the restaurant later, then?
Hold on ,,,
Look, what I said about your sister earlier ,,,
,,,I didn't mean it as an insult,
She's a "Salted Armenian,"
That's just what they say about all Armenians,
Of course, dear,
Why are those men watching us?
Papa just wants to make sure we're safe, dear,
Vanya, come back here,
Where are you, Vanya!
Help!
Armenia is a crazy place, so stay alert while we're here,
Over here!
Here! Here!
Hold on!
Get off of him, you idiots! He was trying to help me,
"The American"
I'm so sorry, my husband's men ripped your jacket,
No, no, Don't be sorry,
Hold on ,,,
Here,
I am happy,,, your,,, worm is alright,
Worm?
Vanya,,, your worm?
Do you mean "son?"
Excuse me,
You invited this American here?
Yes,
He practically saved our son's life, dear,
It's the least we can do,
That's him,
Hello,
Thank you ,,,for the invitation,
Well done!
Comrade Bakhchinyan,,,
on behalf of Sona,
on behalf of Ivan, on behalf of the Communist Party,,,
,,,and all peoples of the Soviet Union,
I would like to extend
my sincere gratitude for your heroic actions,
If it was not for your bravery,
Ivan might have been gravely injured,,,
,,,you have preserved his happy Soviet childhood,
And so, I would like to welcome you to Soviet Armenia,
We appreciate your desire to participate
in our worker's revolution,
which spreads across the world,
and pushing back against the bourgeoisie
and tyranny of the West,
Charlie came to join our great country,,,
,,,to work, To help rebuild Armenia,
He is very anxious to have a good job
like the Party promised the Repatriates,
Vanya, eat, boy, You need to eat,
Please, eat,,, Go on,
Tell him, I will help find him a good job,
What about housing, or anything else?
The American,
But we've already got a full house,
No, I need him, Put him upstairs in the storage room,
The icebox?
He won't be staying with us long,
You are an American spy
sent to spread counter-revolutionary propaganda
to the Soviet people,
You must write everything down,
Armenian,,, little,,,
Comrade Poghosian, you studied English at school,
Explain to this American idiot what has been said to him,
What is he accused of?
Public displays of religious propaganda,
And Cosmopolitanism,
It is a crime here to glorify materialism!
It is a crime to worship things foreign,
to idolize the bourgeoisie and the aristocracy!
And he was seen in public wearing a very fancy tie,
Tell the American idiot that!
How many?
Five years, Five years,
Plus five more for his public displays of religion,
What did he say?
He says that if you let him go,
then he will give,,,
every single Armenian in the country,,, a tie,
To poison their minds
with your vile anti-communist values!?
Let me speak to Babloyan,
Yes, Comrade Commander!
Did Comrade Sargisyan receive my "overseas present?"
-Yes, the American is with us, -Are you processing him?
Yes, Comrade Commander, Filling quotas is always good,
I would recommend this filthy Capitalist instigator
receive the most severe of punishments,
No, no, don't kill him,,,
If word got out it could damage
the Party's initiative to recruit more Repatriates,
Scare him a little, then send him on his way,
Sorry, Comr-- What,,, last thing,,, said?
,,,send him ,,,way,
Yes, Comrade Commander,
What did he say?
He said to scare him, and then,,,
,,,send him far away,
"Siberia"
Don't worry, Mr, Charlie Chaplin,,,
You'll get your belongings back when you go,,,
,,,most of them,
I am,,, I am very, very Armenian,
And I'm Alexander Pushkin,
I,,,go,
In a little,
Then you go to your new home,
Get over there,
Everyone line up!
-Quickly! -Hurry up!
Now listen up to what I'm saying,,,
Soon trucks will be here
and take you to the train station,
You have a long trip ahead of you,
The trip will take three weeks,,,
,,,during which time, you will all behave yourselves,
No funny business,,,
Hold on,
What do you want, my little "brother?"
Ten years hard labor,
You already signed a confession in triplicate,
The documents have already been sent to Moscow,
There's nothing you can do about it now,
What was that?
Earthquake!
Get down, you idiot! Get down!
The walls are down! C'mon guys!
Stop or you will be shot!
-Stop them! Stop! -C'mon! Run!
Respectfully, Comrade Commander, that would be impossible,
Our native Armenian prisoners are too dangerous and lazy,
Then keep some of repatriates meant for Siberia,
Have them fix it,
There is a lot of damage here, Not just the wall,
Repairs will take a very long time,
Keep them all then,
Work them to death if you have to,,,
It's not like Siberia would be any different,
Keep the American as well?
I said keep all of them!
Yes, Comrade Commander,
Is that the Warden?
Ask him about Tigran,
Oh, and how is Tigran, my brother-in-law?
How is he working out as a guard?
Ah, Tigran!
Tigran is doing just fine, Nice and safe, up in a tower,
Very good,
Now that you're going to be my permanent guest,,,
,,,we must make sure you feel like a real Armenian "Brother,"
Ah, don't say that,,,
- Is today Friday? - Yes,
Did you know, Mr, Charlie Chaplin,,,
,,,that Friday at my prison is "Ponchik day?"
What is it called in English?
Yes, Ponchik is doughnut,
Meet Ponchik,
"Necktie for the dumb American"
I thought you were an Armenian?
I,,, am not Armenian! I am not Armenian!
Let us know if you need help putting on your new tie,
Get everything on the cart now!
Fly away, my little stork,
What do you know about building walls, Ackbar?
You need real stone, not this "stuff,"
You wanted to see real Armenians?
There you go,
That's us,
It's Friday,,,
Time for Ponchik,
"Ponchik"
"You look at us with kind eyes,"
"dear Stalin, dear Stalin ,,,"
"You provide for the sake of the earth,"
"dear Stalin, dear Stalin,,,"
First group of prisoners from cells 2, 4, 6 and 8!
Repatriates will work on the main wall,
You'll be preparing new stones for the prison,
as well as for the town,
So, you have lots to do!
Lots of work to be done!
Move, you sleepy flies!
What are you waiting for, take it,,, move it! Work!
Wait there,
Those men aren't real Armenians,
Sold their souls to Satan,,, Papa Stalin,
Scumbags,
Okay, go,
What a disgrace,
Button that button!
With feeling!
Healthy body, healthy mind,
Armenia was the first Christian nation,
Does anyone care today?
No,
Who invented wine? And beer?
Again, the Armenians,
Does anyone say "thank you" to Armenia?
No, And they never will,
Okay, fasten it,
Go away, varmint! Shoo!
Get in there,
Hello!
Today I want Bonchik!
Enough, get over here!
When we go back to Armenia,,,
,,,of course, once the new baby is old enough,,,
,,,we'll have to see my parents my sister,,,
,,,and our American friend,
I wonder how he's doing,
You did find him a job, as you promised?
Yes, dear, A very respectable one,
That's wonderful,
Where?
A factory job, The brandy factory, up on the hill there,
That's wonderful,
Hang on,
What the hell,,,
Listen, tell your boss to stop sending me scraps,
I could pay half as much for crap
like this on the black market,
-A lot of cucumbers again, -Tell him no more pickles!
- We'll give them to the guards, - Disgusting,
Give them to the prisoners,
What is this?
Interesting,
Listen to what I'm telling you,,,
Mix garlic, black pepper, pickled Herring juice, vodka--
and drink until you pass out,
Melikov,
Find a good, strong replacement for Ponchik,
Ararat!
Good job, good job,
Just because the town doesn't want stones,
doesn't mean you don't still work,
There's plenty to do here!
Come on now back to the wall!
The cold is good for you ,,,
Move it, move it,,,
Lively!
,,,excuse me,,,
I want,,, give message,,, you help?
Best to pass notes in the yard,
No! No,,, not prisoner,
Guard,
Guard in the sky,
What,,, what do you want?
Cigarettes
How many?
Guard,,, big,,, in sky,
Tigran?
Used to be an artist?
- Yes, yes,,, Tigran! - Yes,,, I give,
Thank you,
What's going on here?
Why aren't you working?
- It's freezing out there, - You're crazy,
Pickles?
Yes! This is how I get it to him,
I need more,,, paper, I want to write another note,
Yes, of course, Do you have cigarettes?
You take all,,,
No bribe,,, no paper,
Stop!
Get him --
You see, Ponchik,,,
I told you the garlic and pepper would do the trick,
The oldest observatory in the world
was created by Armenians,,, "Carahunge,"
Europe, Paris --
their famous cafes,,, Armenians opened them,
Who translated the Bible into Chinese?
An Armenian,
The color of your famous dollar bill,
who do you think invented that? Again, an Armenian!
Hang on,,,
Butter,
Did you?
Me? No, not me,
Who?
You figure it out,
From your artist friend,
No, Comrade, Take the rest of the day off,
No ponchik for Charlie today,
Hey! No dancing!
Rug-weaving was created by the Armenians,
The oldest rug was woven by Armenians
500 years before Christ,
Congratulations!
Stop here,
So,,, I think tonight,,,
Yes, of course, dear,
You have important business so cannot come
to my smelly sister Ruzan's party,
It's not that I don't,,,
You have quotas to meet, Everyone understands, dear,
Yeah, okay,,,
,,,it looks like a wall,
How's my brother-in-law Tigran doing?
Tigran is making a fine guard,
Used to be a respected artist,
Until he got stupid and the Party censored him,
What was his offense?
Painting pictures of churches,
Terrible,
He's lucky he wasn't sent to Siberia for that,
He's lucky he married to the sister-in-law
of a Party member,
Yes, of course,
And I believe they had a son recently,
A nephew for you, Congratulations,
Yes, Thank you,
They're having a party for it tonight,
Some kind of barbaric Armenian ritual,
Something about teeth, Do you know this?
Yes, an Atamhatik party,
What is that?
May I offer you some Armenian Cognac?
Armenian Cognac is a favorite of Churchhill,
That prisoner,,,
Why does he look familiar?
Oh, yes, Charlie, The American,
American?
What's he doing here?
Well, he confessed,
And then you ordered him to be sent to Siberia,
- I did? - Yes,
Right, Well, then why is he not in Siberia?
Well, then you said to keep him,
I never said "keep him,"
You just said that I said Siberia!
And whenever I say Siberia, I mean Siberia!
Damn it,,,
I told my wife,,,
It's a long story,
You just have to get rid of him,
The sooner the better,,, for you,
Yes, Comrade Commander, Right away,
Line up! All Repatriates, line up!
All Repatriates over here! Hurry up!
Faster, faster, faster!
Moscow has approved all the work you have done here,
But now, the State is in need of workers elsewhere,
The following prisoners will prepare
to be transported first thing tomorrow to Siberia,
Excuse me,
- Get back in line, - We won't go,
Get back in line now, you idiot!
This is our home,
Get back in line,
Tatulian, Poghosian,,,
Go help him pack for his trip,
"Tigran"
No food for Charlie tonight,
- But,,, - No,
Special delivery for you,
You know who it's from,
This is from me,
I'm sorry,
To all Armenians scattered across the earth,,,
,,,who can see past the walls that separate us,,,
,,,and create a new Armenia,
May we build upon our smiles,,,
,,,instead of tears,
Repatriates heading to Siberia wait by the gate,
Bus arrives in 20 minutes,
Vanya, stay away from that gate,
A little something for your trip back to Moscow,
The best of the worst,,,
,,,for your private viewing,
I should hope there is no more of this Ava Gardner,,,
,,,and her filthy "bikini,"
Good morning, friend,
What are you banging on the gate for!
I'm trying to get rid of the damn stork!
Well, leave them alone,
they've been here longer than you!
Oh, God,
This damn thing,,,
Oh, excuse me, I,,,
Can I help you?
Sorry, no,,,
Okay,
,,,and so that's when the Armenian
tell the bodyguard--
I swear, I wasn't making jokes about Armenians,
The American,
Did you put him here?
I,,,
Look, he's an American spy,
He came here to spread Capitalism--
to spread counter-revolutionary propaganda,
He was wearing a polka dot tie!
Pardon me, but Cosmopolitanism
is an official crime instated by the Politburo,
And he confessed,
He signed all the papers -- in triplicate,
And it was all been sent to Moscow,
- Where are you going? - Sona, wait!
What are they doing standing there? Stop her!
Pogosian, don't hold the door for her--stop her!
Madam, you can't be out here,
Take your hands off me,
Hello, Sona,
How have you been?
I,,,
,,,I'm so sorry,
Forgive me,
That song of yours,,,
,,,Gorani,
Gorani?
Gorani is the name of the song,
Gorani!
The one your grandmother would sing to you,,,
I heard it last night, My brother in law is a,,,
,,,an artist,
He told me that Gorani is a folksong
- from the Taron region, - Taron,,,
Maybe that is where you came from,
Yes,
Did he tell you what the song is about?
Gorani is a bird,
Like this one,
Thank you,
Sona, I swear I didn't know that it would end up like this,
Then make it right,
He signed a confession, There are records,
Even if I had the authority to pardon him,
it would look very suspicious,
It would be reported back to Moscow,
Think about us -- our children,
I won't stand by and let you send him off to die,
Sona --
Excuse me, Comrade Commander,,,
Something of the utmost importance
has just occurred to me, which may interest you,
Prisoners!
Our very observant Commander Petrov
has just pointed out to me,,,
,,,the rooftop of our prison is still badly damaged,
It is an embarrassment to the entire country,
Therefore,,,
The People's Republic no longer
requires your assistance in Siberia,
You have all been granted permission to stay in Armenia,
We are leaving in five minutes, with or without you,
Melikov!
Don't think I haven't noticed
how slack things have gotten around here!
Quotas are not being filled! What a mess!
It's your lucky day, Ponchilk time,
Alright, let's get this over with so we can finish the week,
Ponchik is sick again,,, I sent him home,
Karoyan,,,
Go get our backup,
Finally,
Come in, come in,
Nice of you to join us,
Alright, Tigran, Let's get going,
You know what to do,
The sooner we start, the sooner we finish,
Did you forget what to do?
What's the matter with you?
It's an order,
Do it,
Is our great artist worried
about bruising his delicate hands again?
You swore an oath to the Party
that you would never paint again,
If the Central Committee were to find out,,,
,,,if someone were to inform them,,,
,,,not even your sister-in-law Sona could save you,
And so,,,
Either you beat this Akhbar rat,,,
Or I make a call,,,
,,,and your little boy will grow up without his papa,
Don't hold back,
Harder,
Harder!
Hit him!
Poor American,
The Central Committee of the Communist Party,,,
,,,and the Council of Ministers of the U,S,S,R,,,
,,,announce with deep grief to the Party and all workers,,,
,,,that after a serious illness, the death of,,,
the Secretary of the Central Committee
of the Communist party,,,
,,,Josef Vissarionvich Stalin,
His petition for release has finally been approved,
The American?
He only needs one more signature,,,
,,,yours,
Vanya, they say that in an Armenian household,,,
,,,it's the man who always has the last word,
Do you know what that word is?
"Yes, dear,"
Turns out you have influential friends,
You've been pardoned,
And an Exit Visa,
Signed by the Soviet authorities,
Hm, they pardoned you,,,
Well,,,
Best of luck, Mr, Charlie Chaplin,
Safe travels back to your America,
Go, go,,, back to your imperialistic country,
Get out,