Hello everyone,
I'm really grateful to you all
for taking out the time to buy tickets to watch Selfie,
This story that you're about to watch, is not about me or my co-star,
We are merely portraying the characters,
The real story is about the fans, All of you,
People like you who make actors, stars,
with your love, time and dedication,
I am who I am, because of my fans,
Whatever I have, is because of them,
And this is not just about me,
this story is about all such fans
who can love an ordinary man like a celebrity,
This film Selfie is dedicated to all the fans around the world,
We hope we can fulfil your expectations,
And you can continue showering your love,
Thank you,
Is it on? Mic test, mic test,
In Bhopal,
our city of lakes, whip up a storm
our superstar is on his way!
See that, Gabbu?
I see it, Papa,
Brought your clothes?
You think my bag has schoolbooks in it?
The way you look at me robs me of all peace, baby
You flow in my veins like blood, slowing my heartbeat
You beat in my heart, stealing it like a thief
You get me so drunk, You're so beautiful
When our eyes met, I lose a sense of self, darling
It's only you for me, See what you've done to me, honey
Girl, your vibe pulls me close
I follow you like your shadow when you vibe
This guy doesn't lie
Girl, your vibe
Has undone me, driving me crazy
Your vibe lives in my heart
In your heart, my heart beats
You beat in my heart
I try appeasing you
Why won't you do the same?
Your gestures make the boys go crazy
Stop doing that!
You're like fire
Don't burn our hearts
Your eyes cut me down like a sword
When you pass by
You leave behind all other beauties
Girl, your vibe pulls me close
I follow you like your shadow when you vibe
This guy doesn't lie
Girl, your vibe
Has undone me, driving me crazy
Your vibe lives in my heart
Darling
My eyes
Keep looking for you
I can't live without you
You make us all vibe
We vibe as one
What is this vibe?
We vibe as one
Your gestures make the boys go crazy
Stop doing that!
You're like fire
Don't burn our hearts
Your eyes cut me down like a sword
When you pass by
You leave behind all other beauties
What's all this nonsense?
Get up!
Nonsense?
Minty, if you say a word against Vijay sir's dance, I'll divorce you,
Try dancing at work, It might get you promoted,
You're still an RTO sub-inspector,
Please, Mummy,
And you! Your teacher called from school,
You told her his granny is serious,
and made him bunk school to go to the movies,
You're teaching him to lie, What kind of dad are you?
Oh please, Mummy, Papa didn't lie to my teacher,
He said granny was serious,
and she really is serious,,,
,,,natured!
Shut up!
Go inside and finish your homework, quietly,
Stop clowning around with your Papa,
The opening batsmen are ready,
You mentioned clown and look who showed up,
Gabbu, come watch your Mummy's favorite hero!
Suraj Superstar,
One and one equals 11! The fielders have proved that,
The audience is excited, Everyone is ready,
And the bowler is taking his run up, The batsman is in position,
And the ball,,,
What happened?
"Sapachat Lotion,"
An itch comes without warning!
Amazing!
Why do you think this baboon is so special?
Baboon? You mean your father?
Minty!
Suraj Diwan is from my Raebareli, And what an actor!
Once he does a blockbuster movie,
no one will look twice at your Vijay Kumar,
My mother has died,
I'm mourning in this scene,
And you want me to wear purple pants?
You were at a dance bar
when you heard your mother died,
So you go straight to the funeral,
Who writes your scripts? The dry cleaner?
Sir, Tara madam is here,
Ask her in, quickly, Hurry up!
You go,
Show her in,
Ma'am, please,
-Is he free? -Completely,
-Hello, Tara-ji, -Hello, Suraj-ji,
Come, Tara-ji, Please be seated,
Tommy,
Will you step outside?
Sir, let me finish your hair, The shot's ready,
Here, Brush it on someone else's head, I'll put it on later,
Can you dim the lights?
Yes, Sure,
-Wait outside, -Yes, my lady,
Heard of Vijay Kumar?
Who hasn't? Brilliant actor,
Tara-ji, there was a time,
when Vijay and I shared a room,
In Bhandup,
We shared a bike,
We shared food,
We were on the same level,
Then I got my big break, and left him behind,
Wow!
Then he got a break, and he left me behind,
His movies were hits, one after the other,
And my movies?
The audience didn't understand them,
Now look at us,
Vijay is there
-and I am here, -There?
I'm sure he used black magic on me,
He has hit after hit and what do I have?
Powder to boost virility!
Look! My photo's on the box,
I'm their brand ambassador,
I will not lie to you,
I've tried everything to ruin him,
Performed all kinds of rituals,
Nothing has worked,
Tara-ji, please do something,
Do some black magic, or Tantra, Whatever it takes,
Get me up to his level, or bring him down to mine,
I can't take it anymore,
-One of these days I'll kill myself, -Suraj-ji!
Please, I have lots of money, Don't worry,
Please, help me, Please,
Let me think it over,
Getting you to his level is going to be tough,
Easier to bring him down to your level,
OK, No problem,
Pick a card,
I'll read it,
-Black Horse! -Meaning?
A Black Horse!
This Black Horse will cast dark clouds over Vijay Kumar's life,
Very soon,
Sir, never mind the H-test,
She's an amazing driver on the road,
Why? Does the god of driving enter her?
Sir, just give her a chance, she's a great driver,
Sorry, sir!
Do you know how many accidents take place in Bhopal every day?
-How many? -No idea,
There must be many,
Because people who shouldn't even get a licence to walk,
try for a driving licence
through agents like you -who bribe inspectors like me,
Some inspectors even take the bribe,
Did I mention a bribe?
But you were thinking about it? Right?
In truth, I was,
Even think about bribing me, and I'll slap you till it hurts,
-Get it? -Yes,
I'm letting her pass this test,
Here, pass,
Make sure she prepares for the road test,
-Stay happy, -Thank you, sir,
Papa, Papa!
Gabbu,
Vijay Kumar is coming to Bhopal tomorrow for a shoot,
He's coming for a shoot,
"Vijay Kumar in Bhopal!"
Papa, closer,
-All I see are the helicopter blades, -One minute, Gabbu,
Can you see him, Gabbu?
Vijay! Vijay! Vijay!
I come to Bhopal, and will she miss her chance for a damn photo? Impossible!
Her photos with you have got her elected, She has to show up,
-Ah, Vimla-ji, -Sir, welcome!
-Vimla Tiwari at your service, -Of course, you need no introduction,
Take our photo,
Sir, we have the car you asked for,
Your favorite,,,a Bentley,
We've booked an entire heritage hotel for you and your staff,
-What time is the shoot? -11, sir,
-What time is it now? -11, sir,
-Let's go to the set, -Sir, I thought you'd be tired,,,
Work doesn't tire me, rest does,
Take my wife to the hotel, I'll see you later, Bye,
Sir, a photo,
-Sir, a filmy pose, -Filmy pose?
-What are you doing? -Let's do the Raj Kapoor pose,
-What are you doing? -See you later, sir,
Hurry! They're leaving, Let's get a selfie,
Sir, sir, a selfie, Selfie!
One selfie, please,
Where is sir shooting today?
In Nepal,
They'll never tell us, Papa,
Sir, this is the shot before the song starts,
You're standing in the garden,
Meera comes running towards you,
You hug each other passionately, Then you take her in your arms,
Meera, you open your heart and say: "I love you",
Cut, The song takes over,
-Going for a take! Roll sound, -Sound rolling, sir,
-Camera! -Rolling,
-Mark it! -Shot three, Take one,
And action!
I love you, I love you, I love you,
She farted!
Cut! Cut! Cut!
What happened?
Sir, don't tell anyone,
I had beans and rice for lunch, It was so gassy,
What happened, sir? Are you OK?
-Yeah, All good, -It's nothing, I got a shock,,,static,
Costume! How many times must I tell you? No chiffon sarees,
-Sukhi! -Yes, sir,
Get me an indigestion tablet,
For me? So sweet,
Thank you,
Vijay sir,
Mister Producer,
Hide your kidneys! The producer is here,
Sir, you're too much,
Sorry, I didn't pick you up,
Never mind,
I had a problem clearing permissions for a location,
Or I would've come, sir,
It's OK,
I saw your "Don't Angry Me",
Wow! What acting, sir, Incredible,
It's burning the screen!
-"Girl, your vibe!" -Thank you very much,
-Let me get ready for the shot, -One minute, sir,
-Can we discuss the film's climax? -What? Here?
No, sir, I'll stop by the hotel after you wrap for the day,
-OK, See you later, -Thank you, sir,
Sir, your fans have been waiting for hours,
See you in the evening,
Why do you allow his fans to come on set?
They're crazy about Vijay Kumar, We'd need an army to stop them,
This,,, can you see the baby?
Yeah,
I'm going to email you the image right away,
Please, doctor, thank you,
Is the baby OK?
Oh, absolutely, Looks very strong,
Both the baby and the surrogate are doing wonderful,
The stats are absolutely normal,
We're in the third trimester,
So, I'm expecting the baby to arrive anywhere around the 27th of this month,
Vijay has a five-day shoot in Bhopal,
Straight after that, we leave for New York,
We should be there by the 23rd,
On the 23rd we're leaving, 24th morning we should be there,
Doctor, till the baby is born, we don't want anyone to know,
We'd like to keep the news under wraps, Especially from the media,
Yeah, absolutely, My lips are sealed,
We won't leak the news,
Thank you, doctor, Thank you,
And Vijay, I saw your "Don't Angry Me",
Interesting stuff, man,
The climax was totally off, But it kind of works,
A "massy" movie, Next time work in some classy movies,
Yes, yes, I'll keep that in mind,
See you soon,
-Stop it, -So massy, not classy,
If he wasn't delivering our baby,
I'd smash his jaw in,
I heard that, Vijay,
The mic's still on,
Doctor, I was just joking with her,
OK, doctor, Thank you, Bye, bye, Good night,
Finally!
After all these years finally we'll be parents,
I hope the baby looks like us,
Just because it's surrogacy doesn't mean the baby won't look like us,
My sperm, your eggs, So, the kid has to look like us,
It'll have your eyes, and my smile,
-No, please, not your smile, -What's wrong with it?
All your gums show!
My gums show? What about yours?
-Mine don't show, -I laugh from the heart, that's why,
-Not like your smile, all stapled up, -Vijay, shut up!
Hello,
Vijay, the producer is downstairs,
-Let the dogs chase him around, -Stop it,
Make him comfortable, Get him something to eat, I'm coming, OK, Bye,
I'll be back in 15 minutes, We'll play Ludo, OK?
-Delicious, -Dheeraj-ji,
Vijay sir!
Devouring those drumsticks, aren't you?
I swear, sir, wherever you go, great hospitality follows,
These kebabs are to die for,
Take the kebabs away, They might kill him,
Sir! Your sense of humour is to die for, too,
Why the stress? Why are you squeezing your stress ball?
Sir, because of the delay, the film has gone over budget,
No, it's not your fault, No way, sir!
The director wants the best for the film, It'll be a superhit,
Sir, you see,
now all the crew is in Bhopal, why don't we shoot the climax here?
Makes sense, right? It'll only take four extra days,
Then the movie is done, sir,
Don't cancel your U,S, holiday, just postpone it by four days,
And as a gesture, sir,
your stay at the Radisson in the U,S, is on me, Don't say no,
-Many thanks, -Thank you, sir,
When I agreed to do this film, what did I say?
"From April 23 for a month, I'm on vacation," Didn't I tell you that?
-Didn't I make that clear? -Yes, you warned him in advance,
-I told you it's impossible, -So?
Vijay sir, you always say you're a producer's actor,
And you are, sir, so,,,
I'm also a family man, Didn't I say that too?
You did,
I can't postpone my U,S, trip,
And that's final, OK?
Sir, I've offended you,
Wanna sit on my head?
Sorry, sir,
Just forget I mentioned it, I'm very sorry, sir,
One last request, sir,
We're filming the climax in a military zone,
you'll be driving a car,
so the army needs your driving licence to clear permission,
Sorry, sir, We need your driving licence,
Give me your licence and I'll make sure
we're all set for the shoot the minute you're back,
Where's my driving licence?
-It's lost, Vijay, -Sir?
What?
Didn't we apply for a duplicate at the Andheri RTO?
Yes, sir, But a fire broke out there,
All documents were destroyed,
They told us to apply for a new one,
A new licence will take time, sir,
He leaves in 5 days for the U,S, and he's gone a month,
We can't get a shooting permit without your licence,
So the set won't be ready,,,
Cool it! No need to shout, Why are you shouting?
I'm sorry, sir,
-What's the name of that Corporator? -Vimla Tiwari,
She keeps asking me: "What can I do for sir?"
Maybe she could speed up the process,
Great idea! Vijay sir, please talk to Vimla Tiwari,
She'll get it done, Please, sir,
Naveen-ji, call Vimla Tiwari, Talk to her,
OK, You can go,
Thank you, sir,
-Sir,,, -Come, Agarwal, Meet madam,
-This is,,, -Vimla-ji!
-Of course, I know her, -You know her?
Vimla Tiwari-ji, how are you?
How do you know me?
What do you mean, madam?
You're Vijay sir's friend, I've seen photos of you together,
He's a big fan,
My first fan!
Not yours, ma'am, Vijay sir's,
Actually, madam, he knows me,
-Really? -Yes,
I saw a film of his and couldn't contain my enthusiasm,
So I got hold of his mobile number and sent him a congrats message,
I send him a text after every new release,
Once, madam,,,sir, please hear me out, Once he even replied,
He sent me a folded hands emoji,
Wonderful!
I never disturb him by calling, I only send texts,
See how he's blushing!
Agarwal-ji, you're a very lucky man,
You have the chance now to help him,
How's that?
He needs a driving licence urgently for a location permit,
Doesn't Vijay sir have a licence?
It's lost, He applied for a copy but the Andheri RTO caught fire,
How's it possible he has no licence when I am here?
It puts my job to shame,
If I had my way, I'd give him a pilot's licence too,
Just give me his form, I'll have it done in 2 days,
VVIP fast-track,
Sir, it can be done, right?
Vijay Kumar is your god, Who could dare stop you?
Your devotion melts my heart,
Here's the form,
All the documents are attached,
Awasthi-ji, I'll be off now, Thank you so much,
Many thanks, Agarwal-ji, See you in two days,
Madam, I have a request,
Don't think I'm asking this in exchange for the licence,
But can Vijay sir come to the RTO office, just once?
No! Why would he come here?
What are you saying? Vijay Kumar? At an RTO office!
Madam, the thing is,
if anyone questions us later, I can say he came here personally,
And to be honest,
my son and I have dreamt of taking a selfie with him,
Make that happen, please, Just one selfie,
You'll get other chances to meet him, Agarwal-ji,
But a chance like this will not come so easily,
Just five minutes,
Then we can meet him too, We're all crazy about him,
OK, I can't promise, But I'll try,
Trying is good enough, madam,
-Thank you, -Thank you, madam,
You swim with weights?
Bravo, Vimla-ji! I admire you,
You have the brain of a genius,
Thank you, sir, It's all your blessings,
I sent you so I wouldn't need to go myself,
But what do you do? You fix an appointment for me,
You are so amazing, I am very thankful,
Sarcasm, sir? I didn't get it,
All you need to do is -shake hands and pose for the selfie,
In exchange, you'll get your driving licence,
Look at me! I get humiliation in exchange of a selfie,
-What's his name? -Om Prakash Agarwal,
He says you know him,
He messages you and apparently you've answered him,
-Do you know his number? -Yes, sir,
Naveen, check my phone,
What's his number?
93,,,
He's sent quite a few texts,
-This came the other day, -What does it say?
"Greetings, sir, I saw 'Don't Angry Me,'
"What a movie!
"Please, sir, don't get beaten up on screen, It hurts me,
"Please don't block my number, I've grown up on your movies,"
Looks like this guy's still a kid,
He's just a devoted fan,
It's thanks to fans like him I am what I am today, Or else,,,
True,
Seems like a sweet guy,
Just meet the sweet guy, sir,
He loves you so much,
Only 5 minutes,
We'll be there at 7 a,m, and leave by 7,05,
There'll be no one around so early,
OK, Fix the meeting,
Thank you, sir,
See what a rush she's in,
Minty, the veggies are great, Gabbu, take some,
-What did you do at school today? -I had great fun,
Because we didn't study much, we played more,
Your dinner?
Hello,
Namaskar, Agarwal-ji,
If you had asked God for anything at all, it'd be yours,
I've done your work,
Vijay sir is coming to the RTO office to meet you at 7 sharp,
For 5 minutes only,
What more can I ask of God? My god is coming here himself,
I'll make the most beautiful driving licence for him,
It'll look like a greeting card,
Wrapped with love, With love,
Thank you, madam, Thank you,
Gabbu, our selfie is a done deal!
Gabbu, it's straight, right?
Yes, Papa,
Three times "Mister" is a bit much, Shall we remove one?
Want a slap? It shows respect, He's your Papa's hero,
I would add three more "Misters" if I could, But is it straight?
Yes, Papa! It's straight,
-Where is the gift? -You've checked it ten times,
I'll check it for the 11th time, Go get it,
-Have the sweets arrived? -Yes, sir,
Come on, Let's go, hurry,
Good morning, sir,
-Sir, -Yes, Vivek?
A request, sir,
You'll be meeting Vijay Kumar,
Ask him if I can have a selfie too,
It'll impress my 50,000 followers,
Really? You have 50,000 followers?
Did you buy them?
I have this friend, I asked him to hashtag Vivek Sharma forever!
It trended on Twitter,
88 in all India,
The message even reached God,
Who called the press?
Sir, who called them?
I don't know, He must have,
You know movie stars, They tell the press their every move,
Standby, Going live in 3, 2, 1,
Word has it that Vijay Kumar is due to arrive at the Bhopal RTO
to have his driving licence made,
Over to our correspondent Vikas Jain
who is at the Bhopal RTO right now,
Vikas, talk to us,
I can confirm the news, Sukriti,
Vijay Kumar will arrive at any moment,
The press is waiting in full force,
Yes, doctor?
Hey, Vijay, Do you have a sec?
Listen, Vijay, there's a situation, I hope you're alone,
I don't want Naina to hear all this, She gets totally stressed,
I know how important this is to her,
Yeah, what happened?
The baby's surrogate is not feeling too well,
She's been complaining of severe abdomen pain,
We've admitted her to do some tests,
Hopefully it's nothing serious,
But I can't say right now,
The moment the test results come, I'll share them with both of you,
Is that OK?
OK, doctor, Thank you very much, Bye,
Yeah, take care, Ciao,
All OK?
Sir, take left here,
Who the hell called the press?
Sir! No idea who called the press?
Stay away from the car,
Sir, we heard you're here to get your licence made,
That means you've been driving without a licence till now,
You promote road safety and you don't have a licence?
No stupid questions! Step back!
How long have you been driving without a licence, sir?
-Sir, straight ahead, -We should leave,
Who knew about the licence?
Me and the RTO inspector, sir,
What's his name?
Om Prakash Agarwal,
Which one of you is Om Prakash?
Why create this circus?
To earn a few rupees by leaking the news?
Or to become famous?
Or you like being on TV?
I've read your messages, I thought you were a good man, a true fan,
You only wanted a selfie, so I came to meet you,
Is this my reward?
You wanted to show the world how much power you have,
That you can even demand a movie star come to the RTO at 7 a,m,
Well, here I am, Now take full advantage, Go on,
It's because of greedy people like you that fans get a bad name,
Shame on you,
You're no fan,
Do you know what people like you are? "Opportunistic,"
Given the chance, you'd sell anyone for your benefit,
This arrogance is because of your uniform,
you think you're the lord of the RTO?
And if you don't give me a licence, I can't get one,
To hell with your licence!
Tell the press whatever you want, Earn your two bits, become famous,
This gift is for me, right?
Yes?
Papa!
Remember this, son,
Never become opportunistic like your father,
Learn this lesson,
You're not allowed to drive without a licence,
Get down,
-Naveen-ji, you have a licence? -Yes,
You drive,
He drove here without a licence,
This is a 5000-rupee fine,
Pay it, online,
I ask! Are these Bollywood types more important than common folk?
I ask! What makes them think they're special?
Who gives them the right to drive without a licence?
Viewers! This man leads a road safety campaign,
This man lectures us on seat belts,
but he zips around town without a licence,
Bollywood stars make a mockery of the law,
I ask the viewers and and I will ask my panel,
Answer me, answer me, I want answers!
If you shut up, I'll answer you!
At Bhopal's RTO, a high-octane drama
is unfolding between superstar Vijay Kumar
and RTO sub-inspector Om Prakash Agarwal,
I say this superstar should be banned,
I say RTO sub-inspector Om Prakash Agarwal is the real hero!
He put the superstar in his proper place,
#Boycott Vijay Kumar!
#Om Prakash Agarwal is the real hero,
#Boycott Bollywood!
Add another five hashtags, Scumbag!
What's this nonsense? Boycott Bollywood!
Our movies aren't running as it is, on top of that "Boycott Bollywood,"
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Black Horse, I love you,
Yes, Suraj-ji,
Your Black Horse magic has worked,
Vijay is being stripped naked,
He's been boycotted,
You're a miracle worker, Your cheque is ready, madam,
What did I do, without doing a thing?
Where the hell is the remote?
-That isn't the remote, my lady, -Sorry, sorry,
Until Vijay Kumar has apologised to all of India
and the RTO, we won't let his films get released,
Who do these superstars think they are?
We hear Om Prakash Agarwal will be live from the Bhopal RTO,
As you can see, Corporator Vimla Tiwari has just arrived,
Vijay Kumar hasn't stepped out of his hotel room since he returned from the RTO,
They're probably plotting to silence Om Prakash Agarwal,
Is she fine now, doc? How is our baby?
Both the baby and surrogate are doing absolutely fine,
Just a bit of a false alarm, It's not serious,
But I'm still keeping her under observation,
But listen, Vijay, I have to tell you this,
Because of these complications, there's a bit of a possibility
that the baby will come prematurely,
When are you coming to New York?
The day after tomorrow, We have a flight on the 23rd,
Super, I'll keep you posted,
-Thank you, doc, -Ciao, Take care,
Naveen-ji, honestly, I have no idea how the press,,,
-Sorry, sir, -Be quiet!
Put on the news,
See, He was just a fan, Now he thinks he's a celebrity,
Increase the volume,
He was just a fan, Now he thinks he's a celebrity,
Increase the TV volume!
Nowhere is it written in the Motor Vehicle Act
that there are different rules for a superstar and a common man,
If he wants a driving licence,
he must stand in line like everyone else,
and take the learner's test, the H-test and the road test,
You mean he must come to you for these tests?
He's a big shot,
So he can use his clout and get a licence in Mumbai,
What can I do?
But if he wants a licence in Bhopal, he must come to me,
Dheeraj sir, find another location for the climax
where you won't need my driving licence,
Thanks to this lady and our ever-alert press,
my driving licence has become a national issue,
No matter which RTO I go to now, the process will take a month,
And we don't have a month, because I leave in two days for the U,S, Final!
He's here,
Our neighbourhood hero is here!
You look so handsome on TV, A real "angry young man",
You're the first boy in our area to be on TV,
You taught the star a real lesson,
Vijay's face fell flat,
You only heard about it because it involved a celebrity,
But I hear stories of his heroism every day,
-Really? -Sure!
-Didn't you tell me about that politician? -What politician?
He hates bragging about himself,
He's so humble,
So let me tell you,
I can't name the MLA, my husband will get cross,
The MLA then said:
"I'm not taking any tests, And I want my licence in two days,"
Know what he did?
He caught hold of the MLA's collar and told him:
"I'll drag you behind the same car you wanted to drive for your test, Go,"
There is a hero living amongst us and we had no clue,
"Father, I love you," Shot one, take one,
Going for a take, Start the rain!
Suraj-ji, full lust!
And action!
Your dirty habits dishonour you,
But my honour is still intact, sir,
My father used to say:
"If your honour starts to lessen,
take someone else's honour,"
Cut!
What a gross scene!
Who wrote these revolting lines?
Me, sir!
Sir, sir, two minutes,
He's shooting now,
Sir, Boycott Vijay,,,
Dada, get something hot for sir to drink, Get some soup,
-Sir, Sir, -Speak up,
Thanks to Boycott Vijay and this licence business,
the distributors are worried,
The word in town is his film won't get released at Diwali,
Some people called asking when your film will be ready,
Who is interested in my film?
The distributors,
Sir, why underestimate yourself?
Your time has come,
If Vijay's film gets delayed, whose film gets released?
Yours! Solo release, solo!
We'll have a big poster, "Starring Suraj Diwan!"
The world will see these iconic scenes,
This licence issue won't stretch to Diwali,
That depends entirely on us,
Not just Diwali, We can stretch it to the New Year,
We'll set his life on fire,
And that's a cut!
Mind-blowing, sir,
Everyone! That's a wrap for Vijay sir on the Bhopal schedule,
Thank you, Thank you everyone,
-OK, sir, I'll see you in a month, -Thank you so much, sir,
-Pleasure working with you, Good luck, -Pleasure,
Your luggage is in the car, Time to go,
OK,
Sir, may I talk to you?
Alone,
Yes?
-What can I say, sir? -Let it be then,
It's a serious matter, sir,
You're aware of the situation,
The budget had shot up from 60 to 75 crores, The shoot is delayed and,,,
No, not because of you,
Whoever is to blame, sir, I'm the one who'll go bankrupt,
Just find a location where my driving licence isn't needed,
As soon as I'm back,,,
Where do I find another location, sir?
Om Prakash has stirred the press up,
no one will let us hire another location without a licence,
And there's no chance of you getting a licence without passing the test,
It'll take ages after you're back, No licence, no shooting,
Why did I go to see Om Prakash?
Who sent me there?
-You sent me there, -Yes, sir,
Is it my fault he wants to be famous?
No, sir, It was my fault,
Think of my situation,
If we don't complete the film in 3 months, the Diwali release will be cancelled,
A Diwali release is a must, Best date,
If the film doesn't get released, I'll lose a fortune,
-I've taken out a high interest loan, -So, what do you want?
Get the licence made, sir,
Take all those damn tests Om Prakash is insisting on,
Let's end this chapter,
-Don't go to the U,S,! -Are you crazy?
-I told you I had to go, -I beg you, sir,
It's just a holiday, Go later,
Please understand, I have to take this vacation,
It's just a vacation,,,
Sorry, sir,
Hi, ma'am,
Vijay sir,,,
I'm really sorry,
Sir, you haven't given us an answer,
The public want to know!
Sir, tell us the truth,
Sir, what is the reason for your silence?
Sir, are you running to Mumbai for fear of Om Prakash Agarwal?
Sir, is a superstar afraid of a common man?
Sir, tell us the truth,
Sir, what is the reason for your silence?
It's amazing that
an ordinary honest Bhopal RTO officer
has shown the superstar Vijay Kumar
that no one is above the law,
Vijay Kumar is heading to the airport,
Does this mean he's running to Mumbai for fear of Om Prakash Agarwal
and will use his contacts and get a licence made there?
Forget it, It's all a big nuisance,
Gabbu is asleep,
-I want to talk to you, -What is it?
It's too much for me, I want to end it all,
What? Appearing on TV has driven you crazy,
You'll end it all?
What would Gabbu and I do without you?
-Minty, try and understand what I mean, -What?
I want to put an end to the Vijay sir story,
It was my fault,
He misunderstood the situation and blamed me,
I shouldn't have made a big deal about it in the press,
It's a pointless issue,
He's Vijay sir, He's my god,
I'll apologise and give him the licence,
I'm right, no?
Go, You're spoiling my mood,
Minty,
I'll take out the luggage,
Come, let's go,
Vijay, one minute,
What happened?
Know why we're so good together?
You're my husband, but you are my friend first,
If anyone talks against my friend, by God, I'll smash their teeth in,
I'd love to see you bash up Om Prakash,
And I'd be happy if you stayed back and challenged him,
We're going together for our child,
To hell with this film and this officer,
OK? Now just let's go,
Vijay, our baby isn't born yet,
Look, I know you want to go with me,
Trust me, that's what I want too,
Right now, it's about your self-respect,
And nothing is more important to me than you and your self-respect,
Absolutely nothing,
You are Vijay Kumar,
How can any Om Prakash Agarwal defeat you?
Sort it out, then come to me,
I'll handle things there,
I'm sure we'll be together to welcome our baby soon,
Then you'll have a victorious smile on your face,
Your famous gummy smile!
Stop it,
OK?
-I love you, -I love you too,
Tiwari-ji, will you do me another favour?
-Is this it? -Yes, This is the rascal's house,
We'll fix you,
Come on out,
Come on out, you scum, Out!
Papa! Papa!
Think you're a big hero!
Gabbu!
Who are you?
Start the car, Hurry!
He's bleeding a lot, Hurry, Omi,
We're nearly there,
Gabbu,
How does it feel challenging a superstar?
Enjoying it?
Do you enjoy teaching me a lesson?
You're all over the news, I'm a real fan of yours now,
But Mr Agarwal, your stardom is very new,
I'm warning you,
The game you're playing
is a game you can't handle,
Don't underestimate the power of the common man,
You don't know the lengths he'd go to,
What can you do?
Except fining me,
Only time will tell,
Sure, it will, And we'll hear it loud and clear,
Come, let's start over,
You started it, sir,
But I'll finish it,
Don't say a word, just beware!
In my jungle, they call me Tiger
Papa, did Vijay sir have stones thrown at us?
Never mind, son, Keep your eyes open,
-How is Gabbu? -Don't worry,
He needed a few stitches, He'll be discharged in a few hours,
-Can I see him? -Sure, sure,
We'll file a police complaint against Vijay Kumar,
There's no point, Minty,
He's a big shot,
The people who raised him sky-high will bring him down to earth,
Where are you going, Omi?
Yes, sir,
How much to make a hashtag go viral?
Depends how far you want it to go,
All the way to God!
Listen,
Where do I find your editor?
Om Prakash Agarwal? What happened?
I've got an exclusive for you,
Vijay,
Vijay, Vijay, wake up!
The argument between Vijay Kumar
and RTO sub-inspector Om Prakash Agarwal
over a driving licence has turned ugly,
Last night stones were pelted at Om Prakash Agarwal's house,
wounding his 10-year-old son,
Om Prakash Agarwal claims
that Vijay Kumar ordered the attack,
The investigation will reveal the truth,
But social media already believes Vijay Kumar is guilty,
We're outside Om Prakash Agarwal's house,
waiting for him to step out and to learn what the truth is,
Last night at 11
when my wife and son were fast asleep,
Vijay Kumar's men threw stones at our house,
Look,,,
Look at this,
You see the smashed glass?
Film it,
One of the stones they threw wounded my son,
Vijay Kumar has made my son bleed,
He must be arrested, Arrest Vijay Kumar!
Sir, one minute,
How are you so sure Vijay Kumar was behind this?
How do you know?
You want proof? Here's proof,
Ten minutes after the attack, see the time,
Vijay Kumar called me,
He made nasty threats and swore at me in English,
He said I was below his status to fight him,
-Can I talk to him? -Sure, sir, you're welcome to,
Vijay sir,
I am insignificant compared to you,
But you will have to apologise for throwing stones at my family,
What nonsense is this?
Reporting live with Om Prakash Agarwal,
He's heading to the hotel where Vijay Kumar is staying
and stage his protest there,
It's proved today when the common man strikes, no one is spared,
Sir, how long will this protest last?
Until a superstar understands the power of the common man,
Until Vijay Kumar apologises to Om Prakash Agarwal,
Don't keep blaming the fight
We won't let you make it right
All roads are closed to you
Even dying won't see you through
We'll tear you apart, gonna eat you alive
In this war all is fair
Don't say a word, just beware!
In my jungle, they call me Tiger
Will Vijay Kumar apologise to Om Prakash Agarwal?
Or will a common man admit defeat in front of a superstar's clout?
Viewers! India! We stand together,
How often have we seen important people break the law?
And when they do, they get away with it,
But this time, thanks to Om Prakash Agarwal's courage,
Vijay Kumar is trapped,
Can a celebrity get away with it once again?
There is only one way to teach a big shot a lesson,
Refuse to watch Vijay Kumar's films,
Boycott Vijay Kumar!
How can a big star stoop so low?
The people of India would never have imagined it,
Justice needs to, and it shall prevail,
Sir, why did Vijay Kumar organise the attack?
-How has a common man harmed you? -I'm just the gardener,
If you own this hotel, you should have stopped Vijay Kumar,
I'm not the owner, I'm the gardener, I plant seeds in this garden,
So did Vijay Kumar use stones from this garden?
We all stand with Om Prakash Agarwal in his fight,
Vijay Kumar, you must apologise,
Apologise or arrest,
In my jungle, they call me Tiger
I won't eat or drink,
I can live without food,
But I cannot live without my self-respect,
He didn't throw stones at my house,
but at my honour,
At my family's honour,
Until he apologises,
I will not budge from here,
Vijay sir,
I've spoken to the Commissioner,
He has requested that you
stay in your room till things calm down,
Vijay, where are you going?
-Vijay! -Stop him!
Security,,,
Let them in,
Sir, will you respond to Om Prakash's accusations?
Were you behind the stoning of his house?
Sir, please answer us,
Calm down! Calm down,
There is an old saying:
"Until the lion learns how to write,
"every story will glorify the hunter,"
So, unless the lion tells his side of the story,
you'll go on believing the hunter's version,
You've heard his version,
Now hear mine,
Just as he showed you his phone,
I'll show you mine,
Naveen-ji, give me my phone,
Find Agarwal-ji's number,
This is his number,
I'm calling it,
Agarwal-ji, I just wanted to be sure this is your number,
Thank you,
Now let me show you all his messages,
See? He sent me these heartwarming messages,
Om Prakash-ji is a great fan of mine,
And I love my fans,
I just feel bad when some fans take advantage,
It's a pity Om Prakash-ji turned out to be an opportunist,
Let me tell you my side of the story,
I went to meet Om Prakash-ji to get a driving licence,
He said he'd have it ready in two days,
In exchange, he and his son wanted a selfie with me,
OK? If I look good in photos, does that mean I can drive well?
Nonsense!
-What's your name? -Sir, Ashutosh Mishra,
Ashutosh Mishra-ji, if you got such an offer, what would you do?
I'd grab it,
I'm an ordinary fellow at heart, I also look for easy options,
So, I went to the RTO ready for the selfie,
But his attitude had changed, He wanted to be famous,
He wanted his name linked to mine and talked about it on every channel,
"Om Prakash Agarwal vs, Vijay Kumar,"
No greater thing for a fan than to be linked to their idol,
My friends, I admit I made a big mistake,
For that mistake I apologise to you all,
I don't want a licence in exchange for a selfie,
Now I'll stay in Bhopal,
I'll take Om Prakash-ji's learner's test, H-test,
road test, blood test, screen test, urine test! Then I'll go,
I'll get my driving licence the legal way,
Right here in Bhopal, Handed to me by Om Prakash Agarwal,
Sir, can we film your test?
Even if I said no, I couldn't stop you, You'd jump over the wall!
Besides, everything is out in the open, thanks to Agarwal-ji,
In fact, I would like to invite you all as referees,
That's if Mr Agarwal has no objection,
Mr Agarwal, do I have your permission?
Sir, you've said nothing about stoning his house?
Whoever was responsible did a terrible thing,
I can assure you, Om Prakash-ji, it wasn't me,
You all know,,,
Calm down, Dheeraj-ji!
-What are you doing? -Sorry, sir,
You said we had some dubbing, The studio's nearby,
but I don't have a licence, So shall we walk?
Side please, side, Come, sir,
Side please, side,
Let's get ready, it's now or never
Don't hold me back, it's now or never
The smallest flame will make a big fire
Even if you run, you can't escape
It's the first time we get to see a celebrity learner's test, live!
But who'll win the war between Vijay Kumar and Om Prakash Agarwal?
Text us your opinion, A for OP, B for VK,
SMS your answer to 8383,
Attack, attack! To the attack! Again, again and again
By agreeing to take the live learner's test,
Vijay Kumar has proven to be an idol for his fans,
Use your heart and soul
Throw stones, let the sea overflow
Gamble your heart, turn the tide
Fight all troubles with a mean punch
Attack, attack! To the attack! Again, again and again
Every single day of every week, it's attack all the way!
Attack, attack! To the attack! Again, again and again
Every single day of every week, it's attack all the way!
E-M-P-T-Y, Empty!
MPTY!
MTY!
MT!
Empty!
"Vaswani English Speaking Classes"
Now everyone will speak English,
You think it's funny?
Vijay Kumar must meet his downfall, He has to fail the test,
At last that day has come
when Om Prakash Agarwal will quiz superstar Vijay Kumar
as he takes the learner's test,
Attack, attack! To the attack!
Again, again and again
Use your heart and soul
Throw stones, let the sea overflow
Gamble your heart, turn the tide
Fight all troubles with a mean punch
Attack, attack! To the attack! Again, again and again
Namaskar, Om Prakash-ji, Where do I sit?
Thank you,
Agarwal-ji,
A first in history,
You're about to see superstar Vijay Kumar
take the learner's test, live from Bhopal's RTO,
We thank the Lord that Vijay Kumar lost his driving licence,
or India would not get to watch this drama,
The mood today is like an India vs, Pakistan cricket match,
I'll keep you viewers updated, minute by minute,
Let us now enjoy the battle between a common man and a superstar,
I'll ask you 10 questions,
To pass, you need six correct answers,
Each question will have three options,
Ready?
Ask away!
First question,
You're driving on the highway,
Suddenly you see a blind man
with a white cane crossing the road,
What should you do?
Option A: Get down and help him cross the road,
Option B: Assume the white cane is like a red light and stop,
Or Option C: Blow the horn and drive around him safely,
What is it, sir? Wasn't this question in your learner's book?
Option A: Get down and help the blind man to cross the road,
Bravo, you're a very helpful man, sir,
But if you walk onto the highway, you'll cause a traffic jam,
The right answer is Option B,
Stop your car and wait calmly,
The blind man knows how to cross the road, And he will,
Yes, yes, yes!
Damn it!
Next question,
Imagine you come upon a lonely railway crossing,
There's no guard in sight,
What will you do?
Option A: Wait in the car till the guard shows up,
Option B: Park the car on the left side of the road,
Option C: Park the car on the right side of the road,
Option A: Wait in the car till the guard shows up,
Sir, you figured
you had to wait for the guard like you did for the blind man,
But your logic is wrong,
The correct answer is Option B,
Park the car on the left side of the road,
Walk to the crossing and look in both directions,
If there's no oncoming train, then drive across,
Who knows when the guard will show up! How long will you wait?
In my jungle, they call me Tiger
Om Prakash is knocking out Vijay Kumar!
If this was a cricket match,
Vijay Kumar would've been bowled out twice in two balls,
Clean bowled,
Sir, you thought you'd learn all the RTO rules by reading this book?
It doesn't work like that, There are other books too,
OK, let's move on,
You have 8 questions left,
You need to get 6 right,
Or you can't re-sit this test for 6 months,
By that time, of course, you should read a few more books,
I will refer you the names,
Now for an easy question,
What colour must the traffic light be for you to stop the car?
At least hear the options,
Option A: Parrot Green,
Option B: Fanta Orange,
Or Option C: Tomato Red,
What the hell's that?
Om Prakash, name the colours correctly,
Don't decorate the question,
Sir, when there's so much decoration for a learner's test,
can't I decorate my question too?
He'll be fired,
Your answer, sir,
Option C: Red, Tomato Red,
He really has learned the rules,
Applause!
Yes!
That question was my husband's gift to him,
Keep watching!
Well, sir, Are you ready for the next question?
What does Section 112 of the Motor Vehicle Act of 1988 say?
Sharma, check it,
-The right answer is,,, -Sir,
First hear the options, sir, What's the hurry?
You may have all the time, sir,
I act in four movies a year, plus, two OTT movies,
28 ads, 17 live events and a few reality shows,
Motor Vehicle Act 1988, Section 112 stipulates that
"Going over the speed limit is a punishable offence,"
You see, sir, that question was in my book,
Correct answer,
He's well prepared,
What's going on, Omi? It's two-all,
It's a tie!
Vijay Kumar is back,
Why is he losing the plot half-way?
I want a solo release at Diwali,
Correct answer,
Vijay Kumar has answered 5 out of 8 questions correctly,
To pass the learner's test, he needs one more correct answer,
Just one more,
Next question,
You're in your fancy car,
the driver ahead is driving slowly,
And you're not used to going slow,
After all, you're in 4 films in a year, including two OTT movies,
28 ads, 17 live events and a few reality shows,
So, from which side will you overtake him?
Option A: The left,
Option B: The right,
Option C: Or either side,
Option B,
Hear me out, Agarwal-ji,
Option B is the wrong answer,
Option A could be right,
because you can overtake from the left,
if the driver ahead indicates right, and gives you way,
So, the correct answer is Option C,
You can overtake from either side,
Correct answer,
Vijay Kumar has passed the learner's test,
But the battle for the driving licence is not over,
According to the rules,
he must also pass the H-test and the road test,
We'll be following the story, minute by minute,
Congrats, sir, Brilliant answers,
You've passed the learner's test,
If you display an L plate on the car, you can drive it,
Usually, the road test is 30 days later,
but since you're a VIP, you can take the H-test tomorrow,
If you pass, the road test follows,
-Thank you very much, -Congrats once again, sir,
Thank you everyone,
Vijay sir,
Where to?
The test isn't over yet, There's one more question,
Agarwal, but he's already passed the test,
There's no need to ask the last question,
Sir, it's not a formality, it's the law,
Vijay sir clearly said he wants to respect the law and the rules,
-Right, sir? -Absolutely,
Go ahead,
Say you're driving fast on the highway,
Suddenly you see a man, a cow and a dog,
And your car is speeding along, Who will you choose to hit?
Option A: The cow?
Option B: The man?
Option C: The dog?
Vijay sir, who will you choose to hit?
I will not hit any of them,
I will hit the brakes, sir,
Wow, sir!
Sir, good, sir,
I knew you'd have a drink before coming home,
Have some lime juice,
I had a small drink at the neighbour's,
I couldn't join the queue at the wine shop,
Being a celebrity is a curse,
Wherever I go, I hear cuss words,
Talk to Gabbu,
He hasn't stopped crying since he came home from school,
Gabbu,
What is it?
Are the kids teasing you?
Yes?
Grown-ups tease me,
Do I cry?
No, right?
At least your Papa challenged
Vijay sir on TV,
How did I look on TV? Good, right?
You can't defeat Vijay sir, Papa,
Give him the licence,
Or admit me into another school,
Vijay sir may be everyone's hero,
But you're my hero,
And today
my hero lost,
No, Gabbu,
The game isn't over yet,
Vijay sir is fighting his biggest fan,
If I lose so easily then we've learnt nothing from his movies,
Don't worry,
Go back to school only after your hero has beaten my hero,
Shall we see the ad?
Show me,
See how stubborn it is, It refuses to break open,
Wow!
Tawde Gym!
Body made of steel,
Now in Bhandup West,
There's one in Ghatkopar too,
What an ad, sir, Superb!
OK, OK, Record my lines,
Ma'am, only 5 minutes, You're next,
Ready, sir, Rolling,
Tawde Gym!
Body made of steel,
Now in Bhandup West,
Yes, Rikku?
-Sir, Rohit called, -Director Rohit Shetty?
Talpade, sir, Rohit Talpade,
The money he lent you, he wants it back,
I'm dubbing right now,
He's very angry, sir,
I begged him for time,
-The mic's still on, -Wait, this is hilarious,
Tomorrow, Vijay Kumar has his road test,
If he passes, he'll get his licence, And his film will release on time,
Where's the record button?
What shall we do?
Meaning?
When we organised the attack on Om Prakash's house,
it worked wonders for us,
Let's plan something with some phony Vijay fans and keep the fight going,
Brother, whatever you do, be careful this time,
Last time his kid got hurt, Things got out of hand,
Make sure you attack only when he's about to pass the test,
Got it?
Yes, sir,
OK, Rikku, Bye, Take care,
You can start,
Forward me the recording,
Vijay, it's Naina,
Hi, Naina,
Vijay, they're admitting the surrogate mother,
If she can't have a natural childbirth,
then Dr Gupta suggests a Caesarean the day after tomorrow,
I'm so tense,
I don't know if it's even a good idea to,,,
Relax, Naina, calm down,
It'll be all right, Don't worry,
I'll leave here tomorrow night,
I'll be with you the day after, Promise,
But tomorrow is your road test, right?
Come what may, pass or fail, I'm flying out tomorrow,
OK?
I love you,
OK,
Naveen-ji, get me a ticket for tomorrow, on any airline,
If Om Prakash misbehaves again, I'll teach him a lesson,
Naveen-ji, just book me a flight,
As you can see, Vijay Kumar is here to take the H-test and the road test,
Thousands have gathered,
Looks like all Bhopal is here to watch the spectacle,
Handshaking done?
Hope you didn't miss anyone?
They aren't here to see you, They came here to see me,
Take your place at the back,
I didn't jump the queue, Mr Agarwal, I came to leave my form,
Sir, I am a big fan, One selfie, please,
Thank you, sir,
Why is Vijay sir standing at the back?
Take his test first, He's a special case,
But sir, they were here before him,
One minute, Excuse me,
You don't mind if sir takes his driving test first?
No problem,
In fact, we came to watch!
Thank you so much,
Vijay-ji, please come,
Sir, please come,
Thank you,
OK, I'll take you first,
By public demand,
Where's your car?
Come,
Yeah, please check,
Wow! What a beauty,
What car is this?
-Range Rover? -Vogue,
Whatever, Mr P,A, come here,
Press the accelerator,
Sir, your car is amazing, but it can't be used for the test,
What? Why not?
Om Prakash, now what?
Sir, the car's noise level is over 80dbs,
Isn't that the rule?
So, you figured out the sound decibels?
It's not a motorbike, It's a Range Rover,
How can it be loud?
You doubt my judgement?
Get the car's noise level measured,
Show me a certificate proving it's under 80dbs,
then I'll conduct the H-test,
OK?
Om Prakash, stop this nonsense,
Even my wife doesn't put me under so much pressure,
OK, Do you have another car?
One minute,
I'll arrange something,
Hey, Driving School, Pappi,
-Is your car fit to drive? -Totally fit,
OK,
The driving school car is fine,
But I need proof he's been learning driving at Pappi's school
and for 30 days,
That's the rule,
Namaskar,
Pappi-ji, don't mind, but I want to buy your car, Will you sell it?
Sell it? For you, it's free, Have my house too,
No, my friend,
Not your house, just the car, And not for free,
I'll sell it to you,
Naveen-ji,
Thanks,
He's only good at delivering dialogue,
Congratulations, All clear,
And with that, Vijay Kumar has completed the H-Test,
You drive so well, Very nice, very nice,
Is this some joke?
What? Let me see,
He failed the test?
Why did you fail him?
Three reasons, sir,
Reason 1:
While reversing, Vijay sir's eyes were on the gears, not on the road,
Reason 2:
Just look at how he's parked the car,
Look! The tyres aren't straight,
Reason 3:
Once you parked, you didn't apply the handbrake,
That's why, Mr Kumar, you've failed the H-Test,
Everyone knows what you're playing at,
Do you always follow the rules?
No, sir, but you yourself told me he's a special case,
Mr Agarwal,
You gave me the reasons why you failed me, you haven't heard mine,
Can you come with me, please?
Reason number 1:
You said while reversing, my eyes were on the gears, not on the road,
You're so right,
But what you missed, sir, was the car was not moving,
The gear was stuck and to check it, I had to stop,
Check your 36 CCTV cameras,
Reason number 2:
You said the car tyres should be straight,
When you blew the whistle, the car was on a slope,
I stopped the moment I heard the whistle,
When the car is on a slope,
the tyres must be at an angle, It's compulsory,
So, if by any chance, the car rolls back,
it'll only hit the curb and stop,
It won't roll back and hurt anyone,
Reason number 3:
You said I hadn't applied the handbrake,
But your colleague didn't tell you
that the car was in first gear,
According to your rulebook, if a car is in first gear,
the handbrake isn't compulsory because the car can't move,
All correct, sir! All correct,
You explained it brilliantly, Very nice, sir,
Om Prakash, all OK now? He's absolutely right,
So? Pass or fail?
Speak up!
Pass,
Twist-on-twist! Twist-on-twist!
You won't find as many plot twists
in a Vijay Kumar's movie as in his driving test,
He's passed the H-test, Now for the road test,
Write down the application number 314,
When's the road test?
-In 26 minutes, -What!
Why don't you go and stand there? I'm coming,
Go on, please,
He's making Vijay sir wait on purpose,
If I had my way, I'd skin him alive,
I'd love to teach him a lesson,
You need to get on with the road test, Your flight leaves soon,
There's a minor formality to sort out, Agarwal!
Where to, sir?
You're in a hurry for your holiday,
It's 1,30, sir, We'll meet again after lunch,
Lunch break!
Om Prakash!
What's this nonsense?
Do the road test now, End it,
What, sir?
A government servant can't even have lunch,
Must I fill my belly on celebrity power?
There's a one-hour lunch break,
If you're hungry, the canteen's over there,
If Vijay sir hasn't eaten, how can this officer eat?
Stop that scum!
No one leaves till Vijay sir's test is over,
We'll teach Om Prakash a lesson today,
Om Prakash, take his test and pass him,
What are you playing at?
Can't you hear them?
You'll get thrashed and so will all of us,
Mr P,A,
The slots are full now, Come back tomorrow,
Om Prakash-ji!
Calm down! Calm down, I want to say something,
Please be silent!
This licence chapter ends right here,
Everyone knows besides my love for acting, I have another love
and that is for driving,
But from now on I'll never drive again,
Because I couldn't get a licence,
So, take the road test tomorrow,
Why's America so important?
I thought I'd wait for the right time to tell you all,
For the past 5 years, my wife Naina and I
have had only one dream
and that is of becoming parents,
Though we tried hard, our dream was unfulfilled,
But now,
finally, thanks to surrogacy,
and the prayers of my fans,
Naina and I are about to become parents,
We've prayed and dreamt about it for years
and soon our child will be born,
And what am I doing?
Chasing a driving licence!
My wife is in the U,S,, waiting for our baby to be born,
And instead of being with her, I am here
giving my learner's test,
Tomorrow my child will be born and Om Prakash-ji wants me
to stay yet another day for the road test,
It's something I can't do,
I don't want a licence,
Om Prakash-ji, you've won,
I've lost,
I don't want a driving licence,
I want to go to America and hold my baby in my arms,
And yes,
without a licence,
my producer will lose a lot of money,
but I'll reimburse him, After all, I'm a producer's actor,
You all know I've worked in films for 30 years,
In the past 30 years, there have been many times
when I should've been with my family,
but I wasn't, I was away shooting,
I'm done, No more,
Now I'll give all my time to my family,
Even if it means giving up acting forever,
That's what I wanted to tell the press and all my fans,
Om Prakash, let's get out of here,
Move, Move,
Move,
Get away, Move,
Get away, Enough,
Move, Move away,
Enough,
Drive, Drive,
Enough, Drive fast,
I didn't realise they'd get so angry after I spoke,
I'm extremely sorry,
What are you saying, sir?
I knew I'd get beaten up today,
If anyone else had harassed you as much as I have,
I would've hit him myself,
-Minty, -Hello, Omi! Are you OK?
I saw them on TV beating you up,
I'm fine,
You and Gabbu meet me outside the house in 15 minutes,
We're going out of town for a few days,
Now? Out of the blue?
Please, Minty, do as I say, I'll be there in 15 minutes,
OK,
I'm not ashamed
about what I've done,
Raavan had the strength to challenge Lord Ram
because he was His devotee,
I got the strength to challenge you from you,
Sir, you're my hero,
But you humiliated me in front of my son,
And I am my son's hero,
I didn't want to dishonour you, sir,
Actually, I wanted
to restore my honour in my son's eyes,
It was never about the licence, sir,
I became obsessed with my own self-respect,
I couldn't think straight,
Remember when you first came to the RTO?
I gave you a gift box,
You were so angry that you threw it away,
Your driving licence was in that box,
Sir, I didn't call the press that day,
And I didn't get stones thrown at your son, Om Prakash-ji,
Are you going to the railway station?
Yes,
Ask them to get in, I'll drop you there,
-Omi! -Papa,
-Were you badly hurt? -Get in,
I'm fine,
Come, Gabbu,
Whose car is this?
Say "Namaste",
-Namaste, -Namaste,
Let's go,
Sir, can I say something else?
You said you'd give up acting,
I know you said it in anger,
Please, sir, don't even think about it,
You have no idea what you mean
to your fans, To me,
Please, sir,
You can't give up acting,
Thank you,
Mr Agarwal,
Yes?
Can I take a selfie with my biggest fan?
Take a selfie for us,
No more crying, Here,
One more,
Thank you,
I'll forward them to you,
Yes, Commissioner?
We found out who attacked Om Prakash's house that night,
Who was it?
We've got him here, You can meet him personally,
Suraj, my friend! My brother, How are you?
Where have you been? You OK?
I'm fine, But I am a bit low,
What happened?
The police are falsely accusing me,
Who would ever think I'd play such dirty tricks?
They don't realise how close we are, We were roommates,
-He's my brother, -Yes!
I fast on the day your films are released, Know that?
I pray that
every film of yours is a superhit, A voice comes from my heart,,,
A voice? I have a recording of that voice,
Play it,
Brother, whatever you do, be careful this time,
Last time his kid got hurt, Things got out of hand,
Nothing like that must happen this time,
Listen, do what you must,,,
Sorry, I lost all reason,
I made a mistake,
I haven't had a hit for 7 years,
My face is getting wrinkled,
Forgive me,
Don't apologise to me, apologise to them,
Go,
-He's not your father-in-law, -Shut up!
Sorry,
Apologise to him, He got hurt,
Over here! Me! This stone landed on my head,
Never mind, son, You can hit me with that very stone,
No, Stop! He's really going to hit me,
Sir, sir, I have news for you,
A very reliable source told me who threw the stones
at Om Prakash's house,
It was that damn swine, Suraj Diwan,
Meet Swine Diwan,
Oh! Suraj-ji, Big fan!
Vimla-ji, tell me who called the press to the RTO that day,
Om Prakash Agarwal did, He was dying to be famous,
Really?
You're here too, Big fan!
Who else is here, sir?
No one, So, who called the press that day?
If you didn't call them, then,,,
-Tell us, Vimla-ji! -I did,
Why?
To get famous and win the elections,
Thank you,
-Sarcasm, sir? -Absolutely,
You're the root of all this mess, You're to blame for everything,
We must leave for the airport, I'll get the car,
Om Prakash-ji,
I came for a shoot, and I leave having found a new friend,
It's been great challenging you,
Likewise, sir,
If you come to Mumbai on holiday,
don't leave without visiting me,
Sir, he won't wait for his holidays, He might quit now and visit you,
Be a good human being, your films will work someday,
I thank you all,
Sir, one minute,
I have something for you,
You threw it away that day but I picked it up,
Your driving licence,
Don't worry, sir, It wasn't made in exchange for a selfie,
You submitted your form at the Andheri RTO,
I got them to make a copy,
It belongs to you,
There's no need to give up driving, sir,
You look terrific driving a Range Rover,
Come, sir,
Dheeraj-ji, I'll send you a copy!
When we see a girl, we whistle, we clap
Oh my! My girl has arrived
I'm the master, you're the rookie
I'm the rookie, you're the master
I'm the master, you're the rookie
I'm the rookie, you're,,,
Rosy cheeks, intoxicating eyes, drive me crazy
My heart cries out: "She's a killer"
Thinking of girls sets my heart racing
My eyes twitch, a fire erupts in my chest
We may go crazy thinking about girls
And lose our sense of self
Whenever I fire a bullet, it never misses the target
I keep the keys in my pocket to open every lock
When we see a girl, we whistle, we clap
Oh my! My girl has arrived
I'm the master, you're the rookie
I'm the rookie, you're the master
I'm the master, you're the rookie
I'm the rookie, you're,,,
Did you think we'd forgotten?
We are very different, many miles apart
At times we even get mad at each other
Sister, the rookie is there, the master is here,
Hey you! You free this Sunday?
Will you take a selfie with me?
Baby,,,
Baby, you dance
Baby,,,
Baby, you dance
Baby, dance!
Baby, you dance
Move your feet, sway your hips, Just dance!
You fill my heart
You're all I see
I'm drowning in your eyes
My love calls out,,,
You fill my heart
You're all I see
I'm drowning in your eyes
My love calls out,,,
Oho, come to me, Come close
Bring your phone with you
Click, click, click, my selfie!
Baby, you dance
Baby, dance!
Baby, you dance
You call, I come running
Urgent, like a siren
For you I leave the world behind
Urgent, like a siren
I'm your princess, you're my prince
Let's fall in love
Oho, come to me, Come close
Bring your phone with you
Click, click, click, my selfie!