Sh, slow down,
or we'll be found by others
We've already been found
What?
That way
Please let me do it
Hurry up, let's go
OK
Hide yourself
shh!
Senior brother,
Let's have a meal
Good morning!
Ya!
The sunlight in the temple
is still so warm and bright,
Let me put on these
GD sunglasses
to cover my eyes from the dazzling sunlight
So comfortable
Thank God
and thank the Land Mother
Thank Master Long Eyebrow
for giving us food,
crystal clear white rice,
and cabbage, rich in nutrition
Thank you
Great gratitude
and praise for our Master
OK, OK, OK
let's have a meal
It's the first day of the lunar month
when an extra dish should be added
Where is it?
Don't eat in a rush
It's a little bit salty
Ayah
the rice is just right
Master
Yeah?
Our temple is not well
There are some problems
with its financial situation
we need to enter the market
and solve it with more followers
Yeah, that's good
I'm just afraid we can no longer protect the temple if we enter the market
You know these days,
there are more and more thieves
My brother,
Kunlun Crank,
visited me last year
and gave me the "Own Goal" divine stone
so that I can keep it safe
only the code can open the divine stone,
It is very important,
you should not tell others
of course, as
the "Own Goal" divine stone
is a rare and valuable treasure
Its reappearance
will definitely attract bad guys who
will cast greedy eyes on it
You must be careful
Ah
Eat, eat you meal
- Master? - Yes?
Is it okay for an adult to not eat meat?
I can't let these children suffer with me
I know
we haven't eaten meat for a long time
- Piggy - Yes?
You'll be responsible for this thing
You mean the chicken store at the foot of the mountain?
That's really a good time for me
Master, just let me do this
I'll go down the mountain later
find some part-time jobs
and bring back some roasted chickens
so that everyone can eat meat
We have to wait so long
and we've been eating vegetables for months
Please, master, I beg you,
just allow us to go out for a meal,
OK, OK, OK
- Liang? - Master?
Take them out for a meal
OK
Big brother, is this what you mean by going out for a meal?
I'm no longer a three-year-old child
I'm four years old and
you can't trick us like this
Isn't Fat Master going down the mountain?
You will have meat to eat soon
Just eat, hurry
They've got a lot of honeypots,
People lie which reveals the truth
Fool
Shh! Lower you voice!
Where is that?
Lower your voice
or we'll be found by them
Oh my god
He's come back,,,
and with his companions
It''s OK,
he's married to a Japanese woman,
ask him to wait for a while
Wait a minute
Captain, captain!
We've been found this time
Ayah, it's OK, ask them to wait
They're people!
You're a Japanese ninja
Hey bro, I made a mistake
this is just cosplay
Just look at our strange costumes,
We look like Japanese ninjas
I come from Tieling and he's from Shenyang
Right?
Yeah, he's right,
Japanese devils!
He said he would double the
the subscription as compensation for us
He said Japanese ninja accept death
and would cut the belly and take the punishment
So he can't do right, but he is bold,
Please go ahead
Yes
The fat one first
Please
my father,,,
Cut
I cut it and the punishment is over
Sorry, sorry
It's dead,
- Go away - Let's go
So painful
All of you are liars
Liars
You're a liar
and you lied to me that you would spend time with me
Baby!
You haven't hugged me since I was little
You said that you would hug me as long as I was top in my class
and now I'm on top
OK, OK, OK, how about next time?
Give me more time, OK?
I don't believe you, I don't care, you promised!
Don't!
You have a rare anaphylactic reaction
towards the opposite sex,
You'll have an anaphylactic attack every time you touch a female
It is untreatable,
Daughter, I'm so sorry,
Hello?
Is this the director?
I left a message,
I'm a star!
I heard that you have a new movie about to start, right?
Is there any role suitable for me?
Yeah
I waited for two, five and eight character tiles,
but he won before me by a single tile,
What is it?
I just played two rounds and lost more than 20,000 to them
Do you think there's something shady here?
I just feel that the owner is wired
He won a lot, but only provided us with boiled dumplings
I'm not going back again,
Ayah
Leg! My Leg!
Don't act fake,
My leg is probably disabled,
Please call 120 for me quickly!
Call the police!
Ayah!
Don't act fake and now you play a possum!
What you're doing now is called "feigning injury"!
Wait, I'll ask my friends to come here
Ah!
Don't panic, lady
This guy just want to blackmail you
Excuse me, excuse me,
I'll only give you 2000 yuan
Believe it or not, if I light this firecracker,
he'll run immediately
That's professional and dedicated,
You!
You're murdering me,,,
I'll sue both of you1
Is that "feigning injury"?
Your injury is serious
Yes
Compensate me,,,
Compensate me!!
Compensate! Compensate!
I can't afford it
You're seriously injured,
You have to go to the hospital
Hey, lady,
if he's sent to the hospital, the police will be involved
Maybe you'll be arrested
How about letting me handle this?
I can take him to some deserted place
instead of the hospital
That's good
Wei
Spend the money carefully,
Thank you, Wei
Why are you in a hurry?
This is too little, give me two more,
The leopard cannot change his spots
You'll be locked up some day
Who are you?
My phone?
I don't know what you're talking about
Please don't misunderstand, I'm not here for the phone,
but for you
That's the same thing
Hey, bro, I want to experience real life by following you
Experience what? Damn it, you're crazy,
Hey, bro, listen to me
My name is Star Chen
My uncle is a famous director
but he said that I'm not a good actor because I have no life experience
Can you teach me how to live?
How to live, right?
You should have said so earlier,
Experience life?
It's simple, I'll teach you,
OK, but you have to free me, right?
or how can I teach you to live?
- Sorry! - Life,,,
- Yes? - ,,,is simple,
Life is actually --
Bro, bro!
Teach me again!
- Bro! - I'll beat you!
Free me!
Bro, I think your acting skills are excellent
Will you be my Master?
I'll listen and follow you all the time
You'll be obedient to me, right?
Yes!
There is a pharmacy,,,
Bring me a medical liquor,
What happened, bro? Are you hurt?
Bro, you're so dedicated
Hurry up!
OK, wait for me bro, I'll be back soon!
Fool!
Why are you in a hurry?
Do you want to die?
Compensate me,,,
,,,compensate me,,,
What are you looking at?
It's over,,,not worth trying,,,
Bro, your acting is not as professional as it was last time
This is more pretending, not really professional acting
Bro, are you OK? Bro?
Hold on!
Oh my God, there isn't an elevator in this six story building?
How do you live with it?
A,,Auntie
You misunderstand,,,we're not,,,
Auntie,,,auntie
So embarrassed,,,so embarrassed
Can't you hold me on your back? Do you know what others think?
No,,,Bro, I can't see how you perform
when I hold you on my back
You know, just now you performed like,,,
- Like what? - Like an idiot
Bro, it's said that feigning injury is profitable
How can you be so poor?
None of your business
I want to know about the life of a liar
Let's eat, brother
Come on, take a bite
- No - Just one bite
No
Brother, it's not good for me to just play games here all the time
Stand up and walk around
OK
Take me to pee
Just pee here, brother
Brother, is it raining?
Aya, don't! Stop! Don't pee towards me! It's smelly!
- Stop! - Don't get on my bed then!
What should I do?
It's him!
Brother Blast,
you have to help me to teach them a lesson
you must spare them nothing
in giving them an unforgettable lesson,
so that they won't forget
Brother Blast,,,
You're the legendary Brother Blast!
I was too nervous to recognize you
I'm Wei from Tiandi Gangster
Chen Haonan is my 2nd uncle, while Shanji is my big brother
We're the same people, you must be familiar with them!
I don't care which gang you're in
A finger must be chopped off, as long as you play tricks like this
You can decide which one
Tell me!
Brother Blast,,,
believe it or not, all I want is to see you today
You're a legend in this field
It is said that when
the "Own Goal" divine stone reappears
only that divine stone
can cure you
"Own Goal" divine stone?
Yeah
Where is it?
In the "Own Goal" Temple
Is your tattoo related to the temple?
"Own Goal" Temple?
Yeah, I know it!
I grew up there!
Brother, the image on the door
is the same as the tattoo
on your chest
It imprints on the bones and inscribes on the memory, You can't understand,
This is just an old school
Are you sure that the divine stone mentioned by Brother Blast is here?
You have to help me
and I don't care how much it costs
Since you grow up in the temple
you can bring me the divine stone
"Slide Over the Water"
"Diversion"
"Buddha's Mighty Palm"
Bro, this school isn't any good
They don't teach any useful Kungfu
These days, any school with a name plate can enter the market and recruit students
- Prices for the school houses have soared - Yeah
Hey
Little ones
Any adults here?
None of your business
Can you let us in?
Good move, I'll buy you some candy?
Toys?
Ice cream?
Teddy bears?
Remote controlled aircraft?
What can we do so that you can allow us in?
OK, I'll ask you a question
and you can enter if you're right
OK, ask me
What is an "Invisible Sword"?
- "Invisible Sword"? - Wrong!
- "Intangible Sword"? - Wrong!
- "Qinggang Sword"? - Wrong!
You can't see it?
Yes!
You can not see an invisible sword,
so you have the same IQ as them?
How dare you can smile now!
Just go ahead
Ayah!
This boy is really showing off
He is a Kungfu addict and
practices Kungfu outside when he has time
It's useless
Except Bruce Lee, he's intereste in nothing else
- You'd better not piss him off, OK? - I see
Be smart, don't act dumb
Warrior! Warrior!
I never expected that one could master the long lost legendary Kungfu
move "Slide Over The Water", I admire you,
It's not hard at all, A simple movement,
Not really "Sliding Over The Water"
I know that you will want to hide your special ability and name
Rest assured, I will keep your secret,
I will never tell!
Your "Slide on the Basket" --
Brother! I can do that too!
It's made of metal
"Slide Over The Water"
You two read too many Kungfu novels
I just stand there
When I saw you just now,
your attitude was different than I expected
You seems to be one who would never keep your word
Go ask the person in charge to come here
You can say that Wei from The Brotherhood comes to learn
Fat guy,
as we're the same type of person,
I feel that your bad attitude towards me
I hope that you'll never see me angry
I hate when people call me
"Fat Guy"
Warrior,
I made offensive remarks, but I wanted to see your true ability
Warrior, I know you're master,,,
Open the door,,,warrior,,,
Open the door, please,,,
Warrior
Ayah!
Open the door, please
Warrior,,,
I want to use the toilet
I will show respect, Warrior
I can't hold it anymore
Please open the door
hey
Brother Blast
Yeah, everything's good
We've arrived at
the temple now
Yeah, please, rest assured
Set you mind at ease
Once a member of The Brotherhood, I'll die for The Brotherhood
We,,,
have no parents
We led a vagrant life and survived on the streets since we were young
In order to feed ourselves,
we become members of The Brotherhood
We do devilish things,
swindling and bluffing,
and sometimes when I realized that I've done a lot of bad things
I started to feel strange and not myself
Even I started to hate myself
Everyone has his or her parents
Yeah
Each time when I awake from my dream
I tell myself to stop being a Gangster
but they would chop off all my fingers
All fingers!
Master, that makes me miserable
Master, you must save me
If I have no fingers,
I'll be the next Doraemon
Doraemon
Ayah
Living in this society,
you must pay back for what you've done
Few gangsters have a happy ending
It isn't rare
but to my surprise
I heard that your ringtone is
Superstar of SHE, right?
Yes
I would have never though you
a fan of SHE
Master is as kind as Buddha
He wants to save your poor life, He can't watch you die miserably
He allows you to stay with conditions
- Yes - I thought he was just a SHE fanactic
- Shut up! - Nonsense
He's just too young to say something good
Hello, fellow students
Are you playing?
- Yeah - It's time for a meal
Big brother is waiting for you
Ah!
Warrior!
Big Brother
Ah
Both of them?
How about that one?
He's washing, you can let him be
OK
Then we can greet that dummy
Big Brother, he's your charge now
You treat guests separately, They're really interesting kids,
The first meal for any new comer
is the "Own Goal" Noodle from the temple
First rule: you must finish it
or you'll be punished
No problem, I'm so hungry,
Give it a try
It's not too much, how can I not finish it?
- It tastes bad? - Try it,
Delicious!
- Really? - I'm not even full
- Not full? - Ok, as he's not here
you can eat his
Don't waste it
Who are you?
Little warriors?
I'm Star Chen
It's my first time here, so I don't know
Your name is Star Chen?
How can a real star be so ugly?
You little bastards!
- Do you really have to insult my looks? - Which one you calling a "Little Bastard"?
You look ugly
and you're dumb
Let's teach him a lesson
I'll ask you another question
and if you know the answer, you can go
When will the chrysanthemums bloom?
- September? - No!
- October? - No!
- November - Wrong!
When?
When you're in the toilet!
You fool!
I'm full now
Me and you
The second rule: if you're full,
you need to put the cover on the bowl
that means you're full or
I will add more noodles for you
It's my first time, I'm embarrased that I didn't know,
- So, one more please - One more
You don't have to be in a rush
It's been a long time since I was so full
You're slow
I can't eat anymore, Can you stay a little further away from me?
OK, I'll keep my distance OK, OK, OK,,,
Eat, hurry up
What?!
You don't have enough
That is enough
for me to eat
That's bad!
- Ah! - Aya!
Aya, don't waste it
Can you stay away from me?
- Can you stand there? - OK, OK, OK
- More? - OK, OK
- More? - OK, OK, OK
Eat
I can't
So you have to leave
- I will not leave - So eat
Come on, Come on, hurry up,
Come on, You're brave, You're strong,
You have no problem and you can finish it
Ah! Ah!
Eat it all!
Don't waste it,
or you have to leave the temple
Ah!
That's good!
Wake up! Wake up!
- The fermented bean curd has gone bad! - What? What?
Get up, We should start work immediately,
What kind of work do we do at midnight?
Looking for the divine stone
We can leave as soon as we find it
I don't want to stay here for another day
Hurry up!
Listen, there are a lot of traps
You'll suffer if you get caught
Yeah, I've already suffered
Don't worry, I'm here
Good boy
You can lead the way
and I'll safeguard your back
Brother,
I wonder if you stepped
into a cesspool
Your feet are so smelly
Don't you know genectics?
My father told me that when his feet left his shoes
everyone in the room ran away
Amazing
It's not boasting
As you can guess, my feet are stinky
When I take off my shoes, everyone in the room runs away
Action!
The enemy arrives in the field in 5 seconds
Stop!
We're standing in place
Wow
Internal Force Dissolution Method
That is really the greatest
the awe-inspiring reputation of Alexander Crazy Man
is known to the world
It's a pleasure for me to see
the domineering power of the warrior from the Northeast region
It must be my luck for three entire lives
How about visiting here next time,
so we can have a real fight?
Withdraw
We can't beat the Dominator
Stop
Big Brother
Why aren't you sleeping?
Why are you out here?
Can you guess?
- We're going to the toilet - Yes, the toilet
- The toilet? - Yeah
Do you think I believe?
Big Brother, do you smell something?
You're gross!
I couldn't hold it anymore
So we're in a rush
Fast! The toilet's on the left,
Just go!
What did you eat? Why it is so smelly?
Goodbye, Brother!
You're smart,,,and making progress
Sorry that I couldn't control that
Did you bring toilet paper?
Brother, slow down, Wait for me,
Warrior
We came here to learn Kungfu
not how to squat on the toilet
This is a martial arts squat
It's different from toilet squatting
Listen
"Gifted Leg of Stormy Evil"
comes from the squat
How can it?
Little monkey
open the door,
please open it
so that I can come in
No, no, no, I won't open it
my mother hasn't come home yet
I won't open the door
- Are you playing with us? - Yeah
- Little girl -- - What? Little Girl?
I'm your little pretty evil senior sister
OK, little, pretty, evil, senior sister
Can I ask you a question?
Why don't we go to the studio for practice?
I don't know
Do you know the divine stone?
I don't know
Why you don't know anything?
I don't know, I don't know
Little sister,
can you ask me a question?
If I can answer it,
and then you can tell us, right?
- OK - Can you tell me,
how to make that handsome guy love me?
OK, you've fallen in love with him?
You don't have to be embarrassed
It is said that the beauty
will fall in love with the hero, while the hero just loves
He will love your kind of evil beauty
As long as you practice a lot,
he will love you
"Iron Sand Palm"
Why are you running?
I won't bite you
If our Big Brother isn't just a fat guy,
and I know he has real abilities,
is it too risky for us to take action?
Brother,
why don't we just stay here
and learn something?
Then we won't be bullied after we leave
Your biggest problems is lack of wisdom
What era do you think it is now?
Kungfu means nothing at all, Spend your life on it
and your enemy kills you with a bullet
So what should we do now?
If we can't take action,
we will have to use our tricks
Do we have to do this? We're just acting,
Do we have to take mean actions?
Put on your robe and take off your coat
To achieve our goal, we'll need to take evil measures
Thank the Mother Land
Thank God
Thank Master Long Eyebrow for the food
the crystal clear white rice,
and the cabbage rich in nutrition,
thank you
Great gratitude
and praise for our Master
Come on
Eat
Xing, what's wrong?
- Someone bullied you? - No
He just think that he's not a good cook,
so he feels guilty
Ayah, how can it be?
Just eat
Eat
Delicious, it's delicious!
It's delicious!
Delicious, it's delicious!
If you think it's delicious, have more!
Come on, just eat!
A mouthful of food, Hurry up!
Eat!
Eat it up!
It's my pleasure to introduce
the online celebrity and
a famous deep breathing exercise master,
Alexander Crazy Man
Master Bao
So powerful
People
are human beings, instead of birds
which can fly,
however,
we can use the force by borrowing it
so that we can also fly over the eaves and run on the walls
(English)
Dummy
Brother! Brother! Wake up!
The principle of the sword
means those moves of the sword you can master
We can say that you must
feel the sword
so that the sword can feel you
People who do this are Sword Masters
Before we fight,
we must shout
During the fight,
you can defend and also you can -- ayah!
Ayah!
Yeah, you shout
but you can not attack me from behind
Ayah!
- Ayah, mommy,,, - M,,,Master
- This,,, - Ayah, my God,,,
Ayah!
Alright, I can't beat you now
you can go, I can't teach him
The performance today isn't proof of my real abilities
Ayah, my God! With who,,,
with who,,,
that,,,
I've eaten too much for lunch
I have to go to the toilet
(English)
You stay still!
(English)
Stop!
You stay still!
Stay still!
You ruined my looks!
You must return my youth!
We can have meat if we catch some fish
Ruirui
You'd better check it out
how many fish have they caught?
Yes sir, no problem
How many fish do you have?
I'm starving to death
I'll ask you a question
If you can answer it,
all my fish are yours
OK, ask me
Listen
Two brothers fall in the river
the one who is saved
is called Zhiming
how about the other one in the water?
Help!
You're a dummy
Big brother, look at this
- Who drew this? - I did
That's amazing, which one is me?
This is you, Sunlight
Who drew the "HATE" tattoo on your body?
Why "HATE" on the little boy?
When he was a baby, he was left at the door of an orphanage
At that time, he already had the tattoo
it must be his parents
who were clearly illiterate
and wrote the wrong character
The "E" is written as "F"
Because of this tattoo
in the orphanage, he was bullied
by many of those in the institution
He and Ruirui were brought here to the temple
Time for lunch!
- Wow, it smells delicious! - Yeah!
Wait, wait, I'll take a photo
- Yes, take a photo! - Take a photo, take a photo!
Yeah
Can I have a photo with you?
Of course!
Yeah
Thank you, thank you
Hello, hello
Hello, everyone, I'm Lucy Chen, a report with Wang News
I'm guessing you're the people from the temple?
Yes, yes
I'm working on a column about it's hundred-year traditions
and it's local heroes
I'd like to ask, where did you buy this?
Oh,,
if you like
you can have it
Amitabha
what did you say?
Oh, a visit, right?
(English)
No problem,
really?
Thank you, master
Little Brother, is everyone so stable?
Water Land in "Own Goal" Temple
Are you kidding?
Thank you Congcong, for sending me the kiss
and I also express my gratitude towards the "No Mercy" mistress for 999 roses!
Anyone who wants to know more about me
can click the left top part
and follow me
Ayah
"Own Goal" Temple in the rain
brings us a another kind of beauty
and especially looking down on the temple from the sky
Ayah!
Mamma Mia!
Ayah!
Together, we just experienced
the so-called "Storm Arising From a Clear Sky"
,,,sky,,,finished,,,
Tell me,,,
,,,why did you come here?
Wei --
Don't call me that
It's useless for me
My nosebleed drained off years ago
Even if you don't say it, I know that
a merciless opportunist like you
came here for that divine stone
It's been a long time since we met last, Why do you just want to argue?
I know you hate me
but without love,
how does hatred emerge?
Thank you
I don't know
and I don't want to know
why you left me at that time
I just know that
I won't fall in love with anyone else
I'll only love myself
What kind of tattoo do you want?
Whatever
One that can cover this one
There is no choice of "whatever"
Then just this one
Since the day you left me,
I swore that I'd be a bad guy
a really bad guy that does all kinds of evil things
Your appearance reminds me of
my original intention
Can you not be so mean?
I have my own unspoken difficulty
You won't understand even if I tell you
Nobody can bully me twice,
especially you
Thousands of people spit on the
smile of the magnanimous
I'll get the stone before you
We'll just wait and see
You're a bad guy
You're a really bad guy that can do all evil things
I know it is difficult
You shouldn't say difficult
I know
you're so handsome
and your looks will influence your skill
You shouldn't be afraid, You must work hard,
You must work hard, You will be a bad guy again one day,
Come on, you can do this,
Yeah
Brother, is this too much?
Too much?
You should know the roles we are playing
We should be bad,
killing and setting fire are the only way
people know that danger has come
They will protect their treasure
We'll make them give us the divine stone
If we don't take action, the stone will be taken by others for sure!
It's your opportunity to take advantage
You take this, Take it!
- It's difficult for me - They will give it to us
Just take it
You're welcome, Take it, Take it,
I'm not ready, Maybe next time,
Listen to me, OK
Be a good boy or I'll beat you
You know what, just take it, You're good at this,
- Are you stupid? - I didn't mean to set a real fire
Brother! Brother! Brother!
Hurry up, we should leave!
What? Leave?
Wake them up!
They will grab what is important
Master! Fire!
Wake up!
It's on fire!
Brother! Wake up!
There's a fire!
Run!
It's on fire, run, quickly!
Quickly! Quickly! Quickly! Quickly!
Big Brother!
Quickly! Run quickly!
Big Brother!
Master,,,w hat are you doing?
Aren't I supposed to transmit air to you
and you deliver it to him?
No!
I understand
- Wake up, wake up - That's good!
I'm awake
Just as I said!
He has such bad temper,
he won't die so easily
You've been in a coma for three days
We all took turns caring for you
That's what we should do,
we're family
OK, OK
We shouldn't bother you
Have a good rest
Before you sleep,
you should brush your teeth
Let's go, let's go
I'll leave now
Have a good rest
Thank you all
Master just said
we are family
Yes
I heard that
he said we are family
If we are family members,,,
so we just set fire to our own home?
Brother, are you going soft?
When you said family just now,
you didn't wrinkle your nose
Really?
Let's go
Go ahead
Let's go, go ahead
Let's go
Everyone!
We just experienced a terrible fire
and all the people of "Own Goal" Temple
have been reborn
It is said that as long as the
master and the apprentice hold the same spirit
we can cut through metal together
Come here, come here!
Look at the camera
Yeah, look at the camera
Yeah!
"Own Goal" Temple is back!
Come on, say hello!
Yeah!
Everyone has a birthday
and when your birthday comes,
the Moon sister will watch you from the sky
and tell you
after a birthday
you've earned your age
But we don't have a mother
and we don't know our birthdays
Master Long Eyebrow said July 7th,
the anniversary of the temple,
is your birthday
All of us will celebrate with you
Yay!!!
Brother, when is your birthday?
Since I was little, I grew up eating in different homes
and even the date on my ID card is fake
What about you?
I think we're different
My father celebrates my birthday when he's drunk,
You guys!
Don't steal the cake!
I'll beat your ass! How dare you run!
Did you hear something?
I just heard mention of cake
Why cake?
Is this somebody's birthday?
It's none of our business
Oh, right!
Do you remember the day we registered?
The date I filled in for
my birthday is today,
November 11th!
So they're preparing for your birthday?
Impossible!
How could it be possible?
That must be the so-called
"whipped cream" on the birthday cake
Brother, why is it bitter?
Are you stupid?
Chocolate is bitter?
Isn't chocolate black?
It's not good to have white chocolate?
You're so ignorant
What important day it is today?
Yeah, yeah, what is today?
You mean today?
- Ah! - It is an important day!
I would have forgotten if you didn't remind me!
Today is "Double Eleven" Day,
a great time for shopping on Taobao
We should hurry up!
- Yes! Yes! Yes! - That's right!
I wanna see which toy I want to buy
Face mask sales, everything at a 30% discount!
No,,,no, no, no
Today is a very important day
I almost forget!
Today is,,,
is,,,
the day when "Pearl Princess of China" has its 200th episode
rebroadcast and has its last episode shown
Let's go!
- Let's watch "Pearl Princess of China"! - Let's watch TV!
- Quickly! - Hurry up, hurry up!
Sit down, Master
Who sent you to get close to the emperor?
Tell me!
I just wonder how stubborn you can be
Why did you do this?
I have no ill will towards you
No ill will?
You colluded with that evil princess to make me suffer
Today, it's time for me to take my revenge
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,,,
Brother, let's celebrate your birthday
Hurry up, blow out the candle
Are you fool?!
If I can't blow out the candle,
I'll fall on even days for a whole year
Don't you know how unlucky I am now?
Didn't you just blow it out?
Because I'm smart!
I'll light up another candle, and you can blow it out again
(English)
Happy birthday to Wei
(English)
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to Wei!
Happy birthday to you!
It's too long since I checked my phone
Brother Blast almost attacked me by voicemail
I'd better call him back
What are you looking at? Stand watch
Hello, Brother Blast
It's Wei
Are you crazy?
You bastard finally appeared!
What the hell are you doing?
Do you want to die now?
Brother Blast, listen to me
What are you going to tell me?
Don't you value your life?
Or are you just ignoring me?
Be careful, I'll kill you
Brother Blast, my signal is not good here
You bastard,
I'll kick your ass
Why you so many excuses?
- Brother Blast, I know - Bullshit!
How do you survive you idiot?
Even a snail can do this!
Did your mother give birth to a brainless child?
Can you just fucking listen to me?!
Brother Blast,
did you hear something?
Bastard,
you got balls
Brother Blast, I learned from you
Bullshit
Did you get the stone?
The stone? Brother,,,
,,,the stone,,,is,,,
,,,almost,,,in my charge
What are you saying?
So you don't have it?!
No, brother,,,that is, it's,,,
it's just,,,I know where it is,,,
,,,just one or two days,,,I'll have it
I just wondered,,,
if I needed to report it to you,
,,,so that you weren't worried
Listen,
don't blame me for being cruel and mean
If you can't get the divine stone,
I'll kill everyone at the temple
Just wait for me
Brother Blast,,,
What are you looking at? I told you to be a look out
Brother, we've been found
Maybe we can just do it,
kill them all
What the fuck?
You just said we're family
If your mother found that you're doing something wrong
would you kill your mother?
Wei, I just want to talk with you alone
Keep watch
You,,,
You should not pretend to be pitiful
I come here today because
I want to tell you
why I left you back then
I left because of an unspoken difficulty
Difficulty?
It must be some self guilt
Yes, that's right
before I met you
I was pregnant before the marriage
and the father of my child abandoned me
Liang is your name
and your mother gave you a tattoo on your arm
as the sign for a future reunion
Later on,
I met you
I missed my child even more
When I went back to the orphanage
the child was gone
For these years
I acted crazy
and I only wished to find him
So you left me without any words
and you think that I'll believe you now?
Today, I came here to tell you
why I'm here
Here, this place is to practice Kung Fu
On the plate outside
it reads "Important Place for Practice", "Staff Admittance Only"
I'm sure that
the "Own Goal" divine stone is hidden here
I've done all things you wanted me to do
and as to the promise you made, can you keep it now?
you want to know where your child is? That's simple,
After Brother Convex beat the principal of the kintergarden,
we have the information you want
However, only after I get what I want
will you get what you want
You're a mother
I know how you feel
You've been waiting so many years
You won't care about a few days
Can you promise me,
you'll get what you want and not hurt anyone else?
It's meaningless for you to tell me this
I admit,
I loved you so much before
but now,
you're a dead to me,
just like this tattoo
We can't go back
You can go now
Get out
Master!
You,,,when did you get here
What you said
I've heard it all
No, master,
It's not what you think it is
I just
want to tell her
we should protect the environment
You! If you don't wrinkle your nose,
I'd believe you
All what should be gone has gone away
All memories have faded away
Even if we have said goodbye
I can't see any bitterness in your eyes
All things you give me
is just a baseless story,
the more innocent your smile,
the more I will love you,
In the twinkling of an eye
some understandings
some promises will never be realized
In a second,
I find that I'm no longer
familiar with your face like I was before,
My snowy world,,,
OK
What is love?
Love drives men crazy
I feel your pain,
your suffering,
the things that have passed
You don't need to talk about it to me
The past has passed
Tomorrow, go down the mountain and back to your home
We're here today,
hoping that you can give us the "Own Goal" divine stone
It's a priceless treasure
It belongs to the one who is capable and worthy of holding it,
So the winner today,
shall own the treasure
That's good,
I can't just give you the stone because of what you say
It depends on your competence
It is said that whatever moves you read in Kung Fu novels,
they're at the "Own Goal" Temple
No matter how strong Kung Fu is,
they can't fight against a single bullet
That's not true at all
They 're a little troublesome for me
Maybe next time, you can try a shotgun
Don't move!
Exactly!
Is your bone harder than the bullet?
Young man, you just said that
the strongest should have the treasure
So why should you have the stone?
With that!
Old bastard
give me that
or I'll kill them
You promised
that if you had the stone, you'd spare them
Auntie!
How can you stand with those bad guys?
I'm so sorry
I'm also a bad guy
Don't hurt them
They know where the divine stone is
Let them show you the way
The Brotherhood has come from the city
This is real trouble
So what should we do now?
Maybe we can pretend to be passer-byers
I've got another idea
OK
This way
What? Stand up!
- Stop holding me! - Run!
- Just run! - Why would I let you run?
How dare you kick me! Try now!
Liang!
Run away!
Liang?
- What are you doing? - Leave me alone
Just come out!
I can see you!
Give me,,,out, out, out!
Come out!
Little bastard!
Come out! Little bastard!
Come out!
Yay!!!
Yeah!!!
Comehere!
Little bastard!
Where are you, come out now!
- Come out! - Don't, don't come out!
Shut up!
Wow! So handsome!
Wow!
Boy, you're so handsome, I love you so much!
Boy! don't run away
Stop!
Is it your name, Liang?
I'm your mother
I,,,I have no mother
My mother abandoned me long ago
Sorry
Sorry, I'm so sorry
Sorry
I never knew that
people can catch bullets with bare hands
but you have no hands now
To be honest, I don't want to kill people
as long as I can get what I want,
I guarantee everyone lives
But if you don't cooperate
Don't play games, boy!
Don't come any closer!
Or I'll shoot!
I'll shoot for real!
I'll shoot you now!
Brother, you'd be dead if you were here 3 minutes earlier
Come on, release us fast
Before I release you,
you need to tell me the code
Brother,,,
Exactly!
I now have the divine stone
but need the code
You're the only one who knows
without the code
the stone will no longer be divine,
In front of my Master,
I've taken an oath
To never speak it, even it rots my stomach
Master, you have my support
I'll make the choice for you
if I have to
Your brains will spill out
Release me,
I'll go get the divine stone
You're so stupid
The one I gave you
is a fake
I hold the real one
Just tell me the code!
Brother, what should we do?
What kind of role will we play?
This time,
we play ourselves
This is our home!
If they want trouble,
they'll need my permission!
Brother!
No eyes on your back?
Fat boy!
You came back!
Yes, master, and I've brought you chickens
You made a wish on the divine stone
You wanted me to live again
Why?
Because we're brothers
Of the five followers of the Master,
you're the dumbest
I finally realize
why all people
show me respect
I finally know
the truth, that
when you're at the end of your rope
the only thing you can think of
is nothing
But this
I beg you,,,
Daughter,,,daughter,,,
I'm so sorry
Liang,
Daddy feels sorry for you,,,
help him stand up
I'm so sorry
Come on, stand up
You can abandon you dignity
and cry before me, down on your knees
It means that you've been
caught by the Devil in your heart
The "Own Goal" divine stone is the treasure of the temple
The founder gave strict orders to
never sell the stone, no matter the offer
However,
we can lend it to you
There are two sentences
I hope you can remember with your heart
So long as you believe in Buddhism,
your daughter and all other people
will be happy all the time
Happy Birthday!
Wei,
it's been awhile since we last earned extra money
I have no pennies in my pocket
The pocket might be stuck in between my ass
Hey --
when can we go on another mission?
I'm broke
so I have to be careful where I spend money
People go through different stages
We've committed all sorts of crimes
but now
we're entering another stage
To put it simply,
we're starting with a clean slate
Open the door, please!
Warrior!
Open the door, please!
"Gifted Leg of Stormy Evil"
starts with a squat
How can it?
Brother, does everybody sit just so?
(English)
Hong,
it's you!
Hong! Yes, yes, it's Hong!
Since you left,
I've stayed in the temple
no matter how hard the days were
I waited for you, alone and miserably, for thirty years
Do you remember the wild flowers I gave you years ago?
And that love song I sang to you?
And that electric spiritual climax?
You must remember, you must remember!
Master, you mistake me for another
I'm not Hong
I'm just here to use the toilet
Use,,?
Come with me
Can,,,
Can I have a photo with you?
It's not appropriate to take a photo when I'm on the toilet