Mimì! Are you there?
The Neapolitan pizza! Come on, buddy!
I'm coming! I'm coming!
Nando! My love didn't come this evening?
Your boyfriend is the boss tonight,
he's closing the pizzeria,
You're a bastard,
- You're using him! - Oh, I'm using him?
Knowing how to do an honest job goes a long way here,
Holy mother!
Have you asbestos in your mouth?
I don't feel anything anymore,
But you can taste the flavor?
I'm stress eating,
- Sit down,
- No, I have stuff to do, I have to go,
Take the money, it's in my handbag,
- Give it to me tomorrow,
- Take it!
All right,
This afternoon
I had a bad dream,
Mimì,,,
He was weak, so weak,
He was backed into a corner,
he was hissing like a scared cat,
Oh, Jesus!
I woke up with my heart in my mouth,
Such a sad feeling!
Is my love all right?
Giusy, out of curiosity, what do you take before going to sleep?
See? I'm already full,
Will you do me a favor and throw it out, please?
What's going on? What's going on, Nando?
Mimì will bring you pizza tomorrow, I won't come here anymore,
- All right! All right, - Take care!
What the fuck are you doing?
Hey! Open up, move it!
It's closed,
- You can't close, I'm hungry! Open up!
- The oven is off!
It's,,,
We'll turn it back on, Open up!
The oven is off, I can't let you in,
I'm asking you, please!
Hey, batman,
Peekaboo!
Guys! Guys, let's play a game!
How much can you fit in your mouth?
So,,, that's 100,
But 100 isn't much, right?
Everyone can fit 100 euros
in their mouth!
Will we start again, guys?
We'll put down the whole deck,
Morticia, open your mouth,
Hey, Morticia,
Morticia, I said open your mouth,
Hey!
- Open your mouth, I said!
- Open it, come on,
I'll count to,,,
three,
One,
two,,,
- I'm waiting,,, - Excuse me!
The pizzas will get cold,
What the fuck do you want?
Corpse bride, want to see a real monster?
Hey! Let's take his shoes off!
Feet! Feet!
Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak!
- Yes, hello! - Hi, Giusy?
- Where are you calling from? - From Afragola, - Oh!
- Good evening! - Good evening! - Tell me everything,
Nothing, I wanted to thank you, you were great,
Thank you, thank you,,,
Thanks to the dick, faggot!
The dick you well know!
- You stole my money, thief!
- You bastard! Don't hang up!
Hel,,,?
- Hello? - Who are you?
Hey! Who are you?
Who are you, though?
Me? What do you care who I am! That's my phone!
- Where did I lose it? - At lorio's,
Where?
The pizzeria,
Are those assholes still there?
Who are you, though?
Please, you have to bring it to me, I'm at the harbor,
But I,,,
- Who are you, though? - You have to do me this favor,
Are you there?
That was quick,
Thanks,
I have nothing to do with them,
Those assholes hurt you,
What could you do against so many?
I barely saw your foot,
It's not that bad,
If you look on the Internet, there are people with worse feet,
I had a friend who wanted to be like Dennis Avner,
Stalking Cat, do you know him?
But his parents didn't let him and he became anorexic,
There are hardly any anorexic men,
Anyway, Dennis Avner died,
He committed suicide,
Thanks again for this,
Thanks,
Aren't you going to give me your number?
Well?
- Can I have it? - Yes,
So,,,
Three, four, six, seven, nine, eight,,,
six, nine, five,
- It's a number short, - What?
It's missing a number,
Zero!
I'll call you some day,
Or you can call me,
Only if you want to, You don't have to,
Save me on the phone as Carmilla,
If you want, I'll walk you,,,
Mimì!
Come give me a hand,
What happened? Oh, what happened?
If Bastianello and his friends pay us a visit
we're happy to host them,
If the oven is off, we'll turn it back on,
No problem,
I know Mimì is the best pizza chef in Naples and our pizza is what it is,
However,
if we can talk father to father,,,
Mimì has a peculiar nature because of his deformed feet,
He's a bit shy!
But he never hurt a fly,
But if someone makes fun of him because of his feet
or worse, does anything nasty to him,
the boy might get upset,
Let us work in peace,
That's all I ask,
For anything else, we're at your service,
If you'll excuse me,
Here you go,
One is for you and the other is for Mimì,
Take it!
Can I give you some advice? Hide it,
It's not hygienic!
Come on, I'll do anything, with my mouth and with my ass!
You can't even score an open goal!
- Hi, - To the soul of,,,
- Sausage and broccoli,
Score that as well!
Fuck your mother!
- And fuck you too, Mimì!
- Why? What did I do?
Nothing! I lost my money!
What do you care?
You don't even know your mother!
What have you to lose?
- See you,
- Where are you going? Come here!
- Do you want to get laid?
- No, thanks!
- Listen! It's on me!
- No,,,
It's time you got laid, Come on!
See the Polish girl?
She gives anal blowjobs, Mimì!
But can I tell you something?
Don't take off your shoes,
you'll scare her off!
Hey! Come here!
I was joking, Mimì!
Hey! Keep working!
Faggot!
Did you go talk to daddy?
Busted toilet!
What? What?
Faggot! You went to talk to my father?
You went to talk to my father?
Shithead!
It's clear that I am in charge, now?
- Help!
- Are you horny, faggot?
If you get a hardon
that means you are a faggot,
Help! Help!
Help!
You make me sick,
Mimì!
You're lucky, You should light a candle for Lovecraft,
We always meet in that cemetery to read,
Tonight, we read "Necrosio", No, "Necromio"!
- What the fuck is it called? - "Necronomicon"!
Necronomicon, right, The Book of the Dead,
The cemetery is a special place, There's a gate,
Get in touch, you know?
There's a shining,
Hey! Did you keep a slice for me or not?
I'll be gentle,
Thank you, Camilla,
Carmilla,
With an R,
It's a vampire name,
See these?
Touch them! Touch them!
It runs in the family,
My mother is Romanian,
My surname is Vlad!
Vlad?
Prince Vlad,
Vlad Dracu,,,
Drac,,, Drac,,,
- Dracula, - Dracula,
You don't know anything about Dracula?
Yeah, Yeah, a bit,,,
I think so,
Dracula!
Haven't you even seen a movie about Dracula?
I was with the nuns until I was 12,
Then Nando took me in and taught me the trade,
You know, when you work and,,,
I rarely go to the movies,
If I go, I go to laugh, but I don't laugh much,
But I'm not stupid,,,
I understand the jokes that are funny,
But I don't laugh,
I don't laugh either,
We're noble spirits, We seek something else,
You want to know something?
I'm a princess from my mother's side,
Do you live here?
At the moment,
I ran away from home,
Carmilla, let's go!
Hey! Are we going? Come on!
Come on!
So? What did you want?
I wanted the Dracula movie,
The movie?
The movies!
I love vampire movies, Dracula movies!
Which do you want? Tod Browning's? Or Terence Fisher's?
Coppola's! And then, which actor?
Max Schreck,
Bela Lugosi?
- No, is that I don't,,, I don't,,, - I've got it!
Christopher Lee, Am I right?
- Can I ask you something? - What?
What's that?
Well,,, Nosferatu,
"The undead," Murnau's film,
- But,,, Is Nosferatu Dracula? - Yes!
Murnau called it "Nosferatu", the undead,
because he didn't want to pay royalties to Bram Stoker,
When Murnau made the film
it was as if he used a real vampire as the actor,
- Who? Murnau? - Yeah!
It seems none of the crew knew where they found him,
When the film was finished, the actor, Max Schreck, disappeared,
Nothing else was heard of him,
He vanished,
No, no, Mimì!
I'm sick of this,
I don't care about vampires,
They give me,,, anxiety, I don't like it,
I'm making coffee, Do you want it?
No?
Mimì,,,
where do you have to go?
Me?
I gave you permission to go out and I'm delighted you're taking some freedom,
It's good, you're young, And it's good you're seeing someone, some friends,
Or maybe a girlfriend!
Hey!
But don't make me worry,
You know things have changed here,
Those guys have targeted us, you understand?
Hey!
Don't worry, Have fun! You understand?
Hey,
Mimì!
Is it for me?
Nosferatu,
It's beautiful!
Would you like to see a place?
What is this place? A hospital?
Did they treat your feet here?
No,
It's an orphanage,
This was my bed,
The nun came in every night, you know?
She woke me up and made me say my prayers,
"God the Father commands you, God the Son commands you, God commands,,,"
That was a prayer against the Devil,
Because all the nuns said my feet,,,
were a sign of the Devil,
Want to see something?
That's them, I got revenge,
They never saw it,
Now I'm out,
And these old shits are still in here,
Oh!
Hey! Hey! Come on, come on! Calm down!
Let's stop thinking about, okay? Let's not think about it, Let's not think about it,
What is it?
Open up, Stick your tongue out,
Good!
Thank you,
It's beautiful!
Hey!
Carmilla!
Hey, what's wrong? Carmilla!
Car,,,
It's 11:00! Eight calls from Nando,
- Carmilla, I'm sorry, I have to go, - No, no, no, no!
- Carmilla, wait,,, - No, no!
- Come on, come here! - Wait,,,
Don't leave me alone! Please don't leave me on my own!
I love you, We'll be together forever, won't we?
Won't we? Forever?
I love you, Mimì,
I love you, I love you!
Touch me! Touch me Mimì!
Don't be afraid,
I'm pissed off, Mimì!
You don't show up for a whole day,
You don't answer the phone,
You tell me nothing,
Now you show up here
with a pretty fucking face!
And I'm dying,
I've no idea how many times I died last night,
I thought, "What will I do?"
"I'll call the police now,"
"Maybe it's better to call the undertaker,"
"I'll bring flowers to the grave!" Don't laugh!
- I'm not laughing, - Oh, no?
Your eyes are laughing, asshole,
Now you're going to tell me what the fuck you were doing, Got it?
I,,,
I was with my girlfriend,
Your girlfriend?
This is how you tell me, Mimì?
Damn you! You had me shitting myself, you know?
Well?
- What's she like? - So beautiful, - She's pretty? - Yeah,
- What's her name? - Carmilla, with an R,
Carmilla, with an R, Is she nice? Does Camilla have her head screwed on?
- Carmilla, with an R! - Got it, Carmilla with an R,
This pizzeria is my whole life,,,
And you, too!
What's mine is yours, and it can be Camilla's too,
- Carmilla, with an R! - Got it!
- Thank you, Nando, - It's nothing,
But, we,,,
We want to leave Italy, Go abroad,
- Abroad? - Yeah, To where her parents live,
Well, no! Not where they live,
She ran away from Codogno
because she said it was awful
it was ugly and took away her will to live,
She wants to go to the town where her mother was born,
Braşov, in Transylvania,
- Transylvania? - Yes, outside,,,
Transylvania,
About that, her mother,,, is a princess,
- Really! - Her surname is Vlad,
- Have you heard of Vlad? - No,
About Vlad,,,
Did you know that Count Dracula, is buried in Naples?
- What does Dracula matter? - What does he matter?
Her mother, Vlad, is related to Dracula!
Mimì, how many joints have you rolled?
What the fuck has gotten into you?
Did you hit your head?
- Nando, you don't understand, - I don't understand?
Nando,,,
I'm happy,
I am fine,
Listen, "I'm happy", go to your room!
Now! To your room!
And wash your face well
before work tomorrow morning!
With icy water!
Good night,
Mimì, I'm leaving,
Take care,
Hello!
What do you want?
I,,,
I wanted vampire fangs,
What do you want?
I wanted vampire fangs,
With what money? Where's the money?
Yeah,
Mom!
Mother of God!
He has to annoy me at this hour!
Move it, we have to work,
Don't move,
Hi!
Hey!
What happened to your mouth?
Holy shit!
- What do you think? - They're nice!
They're a little bigger, but they suit you,
- You like them? - They're peculiar,
Show me them for a minute? I want to get a good look,,,
Here!
No, take them out!
What do you mean?
They're glued with plaster, it'll hurt if I take them out,
You had them stuck in?
Yeah,
No,,,
Please, I don't believe it,
You don't like them?
You did all this for me?
You're burning up,
- Do you have a fever? - Wait, Carmilla, One moment,
The doctor told me to take these,
- They are antihistamines, - Mm-mm,
Mimì, they expired three years ago!
Carmilla, the doctor told me to take it,
For the inflammation,
Tonight we have to pay tribute to Dracula,
I've done it with the others, and now I'll do it with you too,
You're like family to me by now,
Isn't that the whore
who fucked your money?
- That's her, - I'll go to catch her!
- Wait! - Leave me!
Mimì?
Hurry up! Get in!
Close it! The cover!
By the will of the youngest daughter Maria the body of Count Dracula is buried here,
in Naples,
As a child, she was adopted by an Italian noblewoman,
Then, as a woman, she married Prince Ferrillo,
Know what she asked for as a wedding present?
That her father's body was held in the family tomb,
which is found in Santa Maria La Nova church,
A cult took the body from the tomb and brought it here,
to these basements,
It's said they revived him,
But that's not true,
Anyway, in the end, they all died,
Mimì?
Hey!
Nothing can happen to us,
We're only here to pay tribute,
Let's go, Come on!
What's that smell?
It's horrible!
Let's go, Come on,
Here it is! This is it,
Take this, Okay,
Hold it,
Okay,
- What's that? - The tribute,
We need it for the ritual,
"Oh you, who lie in death and dream for eternity,
Great black dragon of war,
Respond to the creed of your servant,
Let us hear your call through space and time,
Wake from your sleep with a thousand others, Death shall die,
Your time has come,
Awaken, King of dreams,
Prince of darkness,
Come! I tell you,
I'm turning the key to the gates of hell,
Walk once more on the Earth,
We are your servants,
We offer you our blood,
I know the words of power,
I know your secret,
Come to us, our Lord,"
Carmilla?
Carmilla!
What the hell!
Who is it?
Mimì! Mimì, my boy, what's going on?
Get up, please, Mimì!
Oh my god!
Please Mimì, you can help me please,
Ssh,,, It's okay, I'm here,
Ssh,,, No, no, no,,,
- Carmilla - I'm here,
Carmilla,
The vampire,,,
The vampire,,, Carmilla,
- No, no, ssh, Don't worry,
- Where is she?
I'm here, Calm, please,
- Oh, Mimì, Mimì, I'm here,
- Carmilla,
The vampire,,,
I know, I know,
I'm here,
And now?
Now what do I do?
Nothing,
I'm doing nothing,
Did you wake up?
My boy,,,
Sweetheart,,,
My love,
Do you know what we'll do?
We'll get you dressed and go to Nando,
We have to go to Nando, Mimì, please,
I've already called him, He's waiting for you,
Here!
It should suit you,
It was my costume when I played Mandrake, Eighty kilos ago,
Come in, Mimì, This is your home,
Remember?
I'll leave you alone,
Come here!
Have a seat,
Everything is okay!
After a month and a half,
it's wonderful to see you here again,
Do you want to watch TV?
I'll switch it on,
Included in the price are the three extraordinary divers we know,
So what are you waiting for! Call now, Zero, eighty-one, seven,,,
I'll take those slippers off you later,
you'll put on shoes
and we'll go to the police,
No more being scared, Mimì!
Not anymore,
Fear is in the eyes of those who lose,
And I can't lose Mimì,
I don't care about anything or anyone,
I'll report them all tomorrow,
The first name I'll say is Bastianello Cascone,
That son of a bitch Bastianello,
that bastard Rocco
and all the scum that follow them!
They could have killed him!
Forty-five days in a coma,
If it hadn't been for that angel worker
who would have found him in the sewer, who?
BASTIANELLO TONIGHT IN CONCERT
AT CINEMA POSILLIPO,
BASTIANELLO TONIGHT IN CONCERT
AT CINEMA POSILLIPO,
Mimì? What are you doing up there?
Come down! Mimì, come down!
Mimì!
- Mimì? - No, no, Nando! Ssh, Nando!
You're out of the coma? Mm?
Where's Carmilla?
Just out of curiosity,
did you get those fucking teeth for her?
Yeah?
At least she was good at sucking it,
She can't even do that, you know?
Eh?
Has she ever sucked you off?
No,
Not to you,
She'd have told us,
She would have said it especially to me,
I made her cry,
"Do it, do it!"
But with gratitude, because she liked it so much,
"Do it, do it!" That slut!
How will you suck with those fucking teeth, huh?
How? Mm?
Suck my cock, come here!
We have to go, bitch!
Bastianello, fuck me!
Goodnight, wonderful audience!
M,S,O,C,!
Bastianello!
Don't flash!
What the fuck! What the fuck!
Neapolitans can turn the rhythm of the heart into music,
Naples was close to his feeling, with its gulf of a thousand lights,
rippled by the breeze,
When we arrived in Naples, Lucio Dalla said to me, "Smell! Smell!
Don't you feel what a good smell Naples has? The best smell in the world",
Pull my hair, Pull it!
Bastianello wants to fuck!
Where's Carmilla?
What the fuck are you doing? Don't shoot!
Where's Carmilla?
- What the fuck? Who's Carmilla? - Where is she?
Drop the gun! If you shoot me,
who will tell you where Carmilla is?
Calm down,
Lower the gun,
I'll turn off the music,
so we can talk better, Mimì!
Where is she?
Where should she be?
She went back to the north, Mimì!
She caused a huge mess,
She was underage,
Police came to the house,
You kissed her!
Carmilla was mine!
Who's Carmilla? Renata!
Her name is Renata, Mimì!
She went back to the north!
I didn't know she'd run away from home,
She went back to Morogno,,, to Codogno!
I don't know where the fuck she went!
I had nothing to do with it, Mimì!
She's crazy,
Crazy!
She's a bad woman,
Women like her, they kill good guys,
like you!
Fuck! Where are you going
dressed like that?
Where do you come from?
- I have to get to Codogno, Milan,
- Yes, yes, yes,,,
I have to go to Codogno, Milan,
You love Halloween, eh?
Halloween is over! Have a beer!
Carmilla,
Mimì?
- Why are you here? - Carmilla, let me in, - Ssh!
- Let me in! - My parents are sleeping!
Ssh!
Let me in, Please, open up,
- My love, - Ssh! Be quiet,
Come in, it's cold,
- Carmilla, I,,, - You shouldn't have come!
- Carmilla,,, - My name isn't Carmilla, It's Renata,
I saw the video,,,
You kissed him!
Why?
They locked me up and filled me with drugs,
Thankfully mom and dad kept looking for me,
They saw me on TV,
I didn't say anything about Bastianello,
I'm scared, Mimì!
No,
No! No!
Look at me, Look at me!
You don't have to be scared,
Not of Bastianello, Rocco or anyone, Carmilla,
My name isn't Carmilla, it's Renata,
But I'm better now,
I'm on medication,
My psychologist told me that, step by step,,,
Mimì, did you chip a tooth?
Show me,
You have to get these removed,
Dad's friend is a dentist, He's really good,
His surgery is well equipped,,,
Mimì, you taste of blood,
Use my bathroom, if you want, You can brush your teeth,
- Carmilla! Carmilla,,, - My name is Renata!
- Renata, - I came to take you away,
I can't, Mimì!
I'm getting better,
I saw him,
Who?
Nosferatu,
I'm a chosen one,
He bit me, He has the power!
I,,,
I became a vampire,
A real vampire,
It was the shock! The knock to your head,
Remember Rocco with the car jack?
You could have died,
I killed them all,
It was so easy,
My dear Mimì!
You haven't recovered,
Nosferatu and vampires,
they're not real,
They're fantasies, legends!
You have to go back to hospital to recover, Mimì,
Wait a minute,
Wait, I have to take my medication,
No!
- That'll kill you! - Shut up!
I might go back to school in a month,
I'll have a special needs teacher,
I'm going to go to ITI,
What the fuck is ITI?
Industrial Technical Institute,
There are few girls, It's almost all boys,
Dad said I can work with him as soon as I graduate,
I'm happy, Mimì,
- Carmilla,,, Renata! - Renata,
I can save you now,
- Please believe me, - Mimì,
- Carmilla,,, - Mimì!
My psychologist said
that I suffer dissociation with schizophrenic tendencies,
I have to recover a sense of reality,
I have to realign with the world around me,
Do you understand?
All you have to do,,,
is close your eyes,
Just close your eyes and let me bite you,
- Mimì,,, - Close your eyes!
No, get off me! What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Please! Help! Help!
I can't breathe! Mom! Mom!
Renata! Renata! I called the police!
Dad! Dad!
- Mom,
- Forgive me,
Forgive me,
She has to come with me!
I'm sorry!
Don't look at me,
Forgive me,
Come here,
Drink it! Drink!
Drink it now, Carmilla,
Drink, Drink,
Hey! Carmilla!
Hey! Come on!
Carmilla!
What will I do without you!
What will I do?
Carmilla!
That was quick,
Let's go,
before dawn comes,