رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال
NETFLIX PRESENTS
رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال
What do all these people have in common?
They're all in search of a beautiful love story,
I'm the opposite,
Instead of looking for love, I'm running away from it,
And to avoid mishaps, I came up with three basic rules,
-How much? -Two reais,
The main rule: never lie,
I make my intentions very clear,
I think I have…
Sorry, man…
Rule two: no hanging out…
Hey, man,
…no sleepovers, no trips, no inviting her over,
Forget it, Not happening,
Rule three: never let a relationship last longer than three months,
That's when things get passionate,
SUELLEN GLÓRIA ADDED YOU
And never ever let it get to six months, That's when you fall in love,
Trust me, these rules are foolproof,
I've studied a lot to be a professional bachelor,
-Yeah? -Are you coming?
I'm on my way,
Turn on the camera, let me see,
Do you think you're my husband? You're my lover,
I'll be there soon,
See you,
Be quick, I'm going to work,
Lina, don't forget our cocktail party tomorrow, okay?
I'll need you to be the perfect wife,
Darling, I'm the best,
Goodbye, love,
My wife!
Having lunch with your mistress, Pedro!
No, I was forced to come here!
That's true,
-Don't you talk… -I seduced Pedro!
-Yes! -Don't you talk to me, girl,
That's true,
You're a great cook,
Are those your siblings?
No, My daughter and my husband,
Your husband?
-I didn't want to be here, It's her fault, -I got him drunk!
I hate lies,
You know I never lied to you, Soraya,
I never have a relationship for more than three months,
And our three months end tomorrow,
-No! -I'll kill you!
Love is beautiful? No,
LOVE PHASES1 - DESIRE 2 - PASSION - 3 - LOVE
Love is a chemical revolution,
Out of the three phases of love,
only the first keeps people together: desire,
During phase two, passion,
your body releases lots of substances, It drives you crazy,
MAY - SORAYA/LUNCH SORAYA/3 MONTHS
It's like a drug,
SUN 24 - MS, CARLOTA/BIRTHDAY
THREE MONTHS SORAYA
Phase three, love, releases the bonding hormones,
You can't live without each other,
It's not for me,
What the… Ouch!
Good morning, Mom!
-You scared me! Stop it, Luiz, -You're so beautiful!
"Beautiful…" Don't you mean "good afternoon"?
You know, I saw on the news today
that the usual
and healthy lifestyle for 13-year-old kids these days
is to open a channel on the Internet and move on,
They leave home to go live in their computers,
I don't know what's wrong with you,
What are you still doing in my house, son?
Mom, I'll never leave you like Dad did, I'll stay to take care of you,
Take care of me? You can barely take care of yourself,
I'm really busy today,
CHATAPP MI - JULIA - BIA
Busy? You have no responsibilities, nothing to do,
Honestly, Luiz, you're shameless, inert, unemployed,
I won't be here forever, do you hear me?
Stop, Don't start with that,
You're here now, about to turn 68,
-You're beautiful, in shape, -No…
You look like my sister,
Whose birthday's coming up? Who's having a party?
-I don't want a party, -Okay,
Let's do something else?
Let's go to the beach, sit at the bar,
-Eat fish and fries, -I don't want to,
-Do you like potato? -I do,
-Do you like potato better than the beach? -Stop it, Luiz!
I was born in Rio, I've seen plenty of beaches,
I have to go,
I'm begging you, Luiz, find yourself a wife,
No! No wife!
We've been through this!
Then find a job,
I won't be here forever, Luiz,
Love you, Mom,
Jeez, Maria Inez! I won't answer it,
What a bore!
She calls me all the time, I will not answer it,
Damn it, What?
She gave up?
Maria Inez?
Listen, I told your brother that I don't want a party, What?
I HAVE MYSELF, YOU HAVE… AND WE HAVE ONE ANOTHER,
Hey, Júlio!
I… I'll be there in a few minutes,
It won't take long, There's a tunnel and I'll lose…
So, you're honest with her,
and she throws an apple at you?
Gosh,
People are so clingy these days, you know?
I…
I just want to have fun,
Studies show that single people live longer than married people,
And happier too,
That makes sense,
So,
here's to being single,
-Where have you been? -I can't speak,
-What? -I had an accident,
-You'll ruin everything, -We'll figure it out,
-What's with your hair? -It's a new style,
-Júlio! Good night, -Good night,
What a beautiful wife! What's your name?
It's Lina,
I really like your wife, Júlio, Such a smart woman,
You think? She's a little quiet and shy today,
That's what a smart woman does, She pleases her husband with her silence,
I can tell you're the boss in your family, I like that,
Cool,
I'm bringing you into our scheme,
Let's have lunch tomorrow,
-Of course, -Nice,
JULIO ABREU (LOVER) EX-JULIO
EX-EDU (BOYFRIEND) EX-GIOVANA (GIRLFRIEND)
Have you heard? Ms, Ivone is dating a young guy,
He's young enough to be her son,
What's the big deal, Maria Inez?
It's hard to talk to Maria Eugênia, nothing's a big deal,
Is talking trash about people a real conversation?
What should I talk about? My life?
Do you want me to gossip about myself? I'm not stupid,
-I think… -See? Maria Clara agrees,
She doesn't, She's not square, her daughter is a lesbian,
-What? -Yes,
-I'm not square! -You're not?
For God's sake!
Can't you be quiet for a change?
Stop, Maria Inez!
My God! This is our dessert,
-My favorite chef, -It's just a hobby, Mom,
-It's not a hobby, -His entire life is a hobby,
Luiz!
Oh no! Shrimp?
I'm allergic to shrimp,
I know,
He made shrimp, Mom, He knows I'm allergic to it,
What am I going to eat? Rice and farofa?
Make an egg for Maria Inez,
Mom!
Mom, look here, Come on!
-Make a wish, Mom, -Go ahead, Grandma,
Mom, what do you want the most in life?
Mom!
-Mom! -Mom,
Mom!
It'll be all right,
-What if Mom dies? -It'll be all right,
There she is,
What's wrong, Mom? Tell us,
-What's wrong? -Tell us,
-Dr, Edmar had his suspicions, -Mom!
-But we needed some tests to confirm, -Right, And?
Tell us, Mom,
I've got six months to live,
-What? -Come again!
Where is it written here?
You never said anything, now you come up with this?
For God's sake, be quiet!
Mom, you can't die, Okay?
Why can't I die?
Everybody can but me?
I don't want you to leave us, Mom!
But I am, Maria Inez, I'm already gone,
Please, Mom, You can't leave me alone,
I really can't, God, my boy can't do anything,
Yeah, I can't do anything,
I have a last wish for you,
I'll do anything,
-Then I'll go in peace on my next journey, -Don't say that, Mom!
I hope there's one,
My wish, son,
is for you
to find a wife,
We've been through this, Mom, You know me,
It doesn't pan out for me, You know me,
Please, If you die, I'll die too, Mom,
-That works for me, -Why?
-Because I'm cutting you out of my will, -Take it easy, Mom,
What? Why are you doing this now?
Are you punishing me?
Unlike your sisters, you won't have kids to inherit my assets,
So, you're out of my will,
All right,
If that's your last wish,
I'll do it,
I'll get married,
-What? -Shut up, Maria Inez! Okay?
My baby boy,
I'm so happy, baby,
I think it's time,
I've met a girl and we… I just think it's too soon!
He's lying, Mom! He's bluffing!
-Don't pick on your brother, -God!
-He can make mistakes, but he's no liar, -It's true,
You'll get to meet her,
Who? What's her name?
He doesn't even know her name!
I don't wanna say,
Please, respect him! That's how he processes things,
He'll introduce her to us at the right moment,
-Mom! -Won't you, my love? My God,
Come here, Maria Inez,
Hello?
Helô, hi, Long time no see,
Hi, stranger,
Hey, Ilana, It's Luiz,
You deleted my number? Luiz,
Hi, Isa, I need a big favor,
No, I understand, Okay,
So, I was the problem,
All right,
I need to see you,
I have a special request,
I want you to marry me,
It's not just about the sex, or a physical thing,
Don't get me wrong, you're very attractive,
But I know you deeply,
And, deep down, you're not bad,
Maybe better than on the surface,
Are you trying to marry me or scare me off?
I'm giving you the chance of a better, happier life,
A lot of people live a pretend life,
They need to think we're a couple, We'll keep our lovers…
-What? -Of course,
Who do you think I am?
You're Nestor, my best friend!
The thing is that's my rustic little hand already has a ring on it,
Nestor, this is a win-win,
I think you need a girl, dude,
I need a brother
who will get me out of this situation,
I need you,
I can pay you,
-Nice, -Nice?
-Nice! -Of course, man! Give me a kiss,
-Get off me, Are you crazy? -You're my man!
-I knew I could count on you, -Do you remember Júlio Abreu?
-Júlio Abreu… -Yes,
-The journalist? -Yeah,
-His latest story is on fire, -On fire!
-You know he's gay, right? -Right,
He hired a fake wife
to get into the conservative guys' scheme, Look,
JOURNALIST UNCOVERS SCHEME
She's hot, man,
-Is she an actress? -What?
A stage actress, He said she was great,
The kind of girl you bring home on holidays to meet the family,
-Get her number with Júlio, I'll call her, -Trust me, bro,
Cave painting,
The first kissing scene ever recorded in the world,
And you thought it was in Hollywood, right?
This isn't going to work, Nestor,
I don't lie to women, how will I lie to my mom?
-You don't lie to your dates, -No,
Mom is not a date, Try again,
You have a point,
It was our first step beyond experiencing love,
We started to mimic love,
Getting to romantic comedies was just a matter of time,
And technology too,
Lina! Nice, but we're leaving,
-Thanks, -Let's go,
Be cool, just chat her up,
"I need your services,"
"Services,"
UNKNOWN CALLER
-Hi, Ms, Lina, -Look at this, Isaías,
-They called ten times, -That's a lot,
"Your data plan has expired,"
They just want to rub it in,
Of course I know it's expired,
What a loser,
The bills beat us up, then come back for our dignity,
What are we having for lunch?
We have beef, but our fish dishes are a hit,
Are they?
SPECIAL! TEN REAIS! TODAY
I'll have that salami,
Half serving, Artist's special,
Answer it, Ms, Lina, It could be good news,
UNKNOWN CALLER
Pick it up, girl,
Hello?
Who is it? I can barely hear you,
Depending on who this is, I hear even less,
-Hello? -Hi, Is Lina there?
It's about a job,
A job? Just a moment…
-Work, man? -Lina, darling! It's a call for you,
Thank you, Grandma…
Salamita,
This is Lina Maia, How can I help you?
Hi,
I need to hire a wife,
You're talking with the best,
Let me check my schedule, okay?
Hold on,
Today is your lucky day, my friend,
My movie has just been released, I have an opening,
It's more like a chasm,
My place in two hours?
Write down the address,
Luiz?
-What's up? -Lina Maia, actress,
Cool, May I?
I'm sorry, Don't mind me,
It's my character development process,
I do some stretching, some warm-ups, act as if I were on stage,
Sit down, please,
So, let's talk,
What kind of couple do you need?
Just a regular couple,
mature people,
A couple like that doesn't sell well,
Messy couples look real,
But I'm a centered man,
I'm pretty peaceful, but I have no experience,
I'm a pro, I've been married five times,
I also played animals,
If you want something more like Nala and Simba…
-Nala and Simba? -I can do that,
Right, follow me,
How to create a love story?
How did we meet? In detail,
I bought you a drink at a club, We spent the night together,
Luiz, I want romance,
A carnival,
Do you even go?
We met at your friend's house and talked about a movie,
Fight Club,
Best sex we've had?
Hold on, My mom won't ask about that,
There's always an uncle asking about your sex life,
-DTR? -I'm an easygoing guy, you know?
Pretty cool,
One's coolness can trigger another's rage,
Let's rehearse,
These are the lines, You start it off, and then we take turns,
You, me, you, me…
"You lied to me,"
Let's try again, a little more natural,
Loosen up, Pretend you're not reading it,
All right, Go,
No,
"You lied to me?"
It was for your own good,
-"Forgive me," -No, that one is mine,
-Right, -Remember when I said…
"I was deceived for my own good?"
-What the hell? -It's an exercise, Let's go,
Have a nice life,
-That one was dope, right? -Let's…
Sure, Let's repeat it a lot,
The body speaks,
Hands towards the sky make people trust you,
It's a primitive message that says you're unarmed,
Does it work?
A TV host does that for years, and it works,
But he also throws airplane-shaped money to people,
I'm coming!
Fill in this form, please,
You either vacate my place or pay the late rent,
Urgently!
My situation is urgent,
I'm in the ICU of debt, Do you understand, Ms, Hortênsia?
I'm slowly dying in the ICU of debt!
Your eviction notice expires in 15 days,
Fifteen days!
-There, -All right, let's make this work,
One color,
I don't know, You ask too many questions,
Can we speed this up?
I need five dates in six months,
The most important is the annual Pereira family reunion, Can we do that?
-Six months, Deal, -Great,
-I'll be the perfect wife, -Great,
I can be whoever you want,
-Mom would like her to be a lawyer, -Yes, Your Honor,
A tennis player,
Your dad owns a farm, your mom, a sugar plant, Bilingual,
-Oui! -Okay?
And remember, you're a Catholic,
-Amen, -You don't drink alcohol,
Juice, please,
-What the hell are you wearing? -Good afternoon,
-Criticizing your fiancée's outfit, love? -Isn't it too much?
-Says who? The Sexist Fashion Week? -Quiet!
-It won't work, -It will,
Let's get to work, Listen,
A couple's privacy is sacred,
If you're in trouble, just say "kiss",
-And we'll talk in private, -Okay,
Or lean over to kiss me and whisper in my ear,
-The kiss is fake, This way? -Yes,
You have to pay him,
Wait here! How much was it?
-I like this girl already! -Nice to meet you, Lina,
-It's so nice to meet you, -Thanks,
-Beautiful house, -Thanks,
Get us a drink, Luiz, A liqueur, maybe,
Lina doesn't drink alcohol, Mom,
Yes, but I'll make an exception today,
Great!
Tell me, What do you do for a living?
I'm a doctor,
-A doctor? -Here, Mom,
That's awesome, She's a doctor,
Has Luiz told you about my health condition?
I want your opinion,
-What are you doing? Mom's dying, -How did you not tell me that?
It's hard, I can't open up about it yet,
-My character needed to know that, -Why you…
Here,
Please, give me your honest opinion,
This is the scan,
I want you to…
-It's upside down, -What?
Please, be honest with me,
What do you think?
I think it's so sad,
My three Marias are here!
Come here,
I want to kiss you,
-And kiss you good, -Be serious,
You were supposed to be a lawyer,
It'll be fine,
Lawyer, doctor, they all have a diploma,
Listen to me, You'll ruin everything,
-For God's sake, this has to work, -It will, trust me,
The lovebirds want privacy,
I brought you a chocolate cake,
-I don't like chocolate cake, -I know,
That's because he used to eat dirt as a child, Idiot!
Idiot,
Girls,
-Look at him, -The house special,
-He does that, -My favorite dish,
-He always rocks! -It looks delicious!
-That was the first thing he said to me, -He's such a great cook,
-He is, isn't he? -You'll never have to cook again,
So, where did you two meet?
-At the carnival, -At Nestor's,
-What? -Well…
We were at Nestor's,
It was his son's birthday, and we went to the carnival,
-Yes, -Right?
-Luiz and I were a match right away, -That's right,
-Really? -Yes,
We're together because we like fights, Isn't it crazy?
We like the same movie,
-Rocky… Club, -Fight Club,
Lina knows all the fighting movies, She likes them all,
Stop, don't expose me, But, yes, I love them,
They're all about virile men, and the fighting,
I like that, I like men a lot,
What did you say?
No, I'm talking about martial arts, honey,
That was awkward,
-Talking about men like that? -Luiz!
-Gosh! Are you jealous now? -It's not that,
It came out wrong,
-It came out terribly, -Says the TED Talk badass,
-Whose ass? -Google it!
-No, never mind, -Listen, honey,
Don't worry about that, What matters is that you're here,
Let's set the wedding date as soon as possible,
I'd be so happy,
That'd be great, baby,
-That's all we want, right? -Sure,
You can't get married in a leap year,
Is this a leap year?
-You can't get married in a leap year, -Right?
It's bad luck,
We're actually aiming for January 4th,
In the church, by the book,
Lina is a devout Catholic,
-Lovely, -She's worth her weight in gold,
Speaking of gold, you know he doesn't work, right?
For me, that's perfect,
I spend so much time at the hospital, So, having him at home is perfect,
That's right, I work on different things,
like self-awareness, You should try that sometime,
The Oracle of Delphi once said, "Know thyself,"
Did he say, "Provide for thyself," by chance?
-Listen, -Do you want to take a picture?
-No, -Let's do it,
I'd like your phone number,
I'll add you to the family group chat,
It's such an honor,
I like Luiz's idea, let's take a picture,
-Good idea, -Great,
-I can't see myself, -Cheers!
Hold on, Maria Eugênia!
I'll have another piece of cake,
Samir is here, Goodbye, everyone,
Good luck to the couple, You'll need it,
And I'm going to take my baby for a ride,
-I'll go get the car keys, -Okay,
-Tell me, Lina, What's your specialty? -Yes,
-"Blatriatics," -Sorry?
Pediatrics?
-Wow! Can I ask you something? -That's cool!
Going to your fiancée's house?
No, we're going out,
-Move over, Samir, -What's wrong?
-Move! -What happened? Calm down,
Ouch, my hemorrhoids! Wait, what happened?
They're so happy about this engagement,
Big deal! I got married first,
-It's so unfair, -I was the baby,
Dad used to say, "Dance for the guests, Inezinha,"
Then this creep shows up,
-It was lovely to meet you, -Thank you,
-Your family is amazing, -Thank you,
-Nice house, -You're always welcome here,
-Let's go, Thanks, Mom, -What a beautiful couple,
-Take a piece of cake, -She's on a diet, Bye,
It was all about him, "Luiz can say 'Mommy',"
-I said it before him, -And way better than him, I'm sure,
"Those are his first steps," I thought,
"If that creep can walk, I'm going to do somersaults,"
I bet you were great,
I did gymnastics and athleticism, What did I get?
-A gold medal? -A missing tooth,
That rehearsal was a waste of time,
"No, Luiz, let's do this, let's do that,"
You did everything wrong,
-You messed it up, -I didn't mess up,
-Didn't you? -I was improvising, I'm an actress,
Yes, you're a lame actress, That's what you are,
He who laughs last, laughs best,
He'll give himself away eventually,
Do you think I'll let him do that?
I'll expose him myself,
I won't go anywhere with you,
I'm surely taking you home, I'm seeing Suellen Glória tonight,
-Who's stopping you? -I rescheduled to rehearse with you,
A waste of time,
You called me lame, You've never even seen my work,
-Of course you're going home, -"Lame,"
Hey, Luiz!
Your sister wants to celebrate with you,
Double date!
I can't take you home,
SUELLEN GLÓRIA ACCEPT
I can't stand her up, Please, help me,
-Me? -Please,
-My shift is over, -I'll pay you double,
I'll have champagne,
Suellen Glória is at that bar,
I need you to cover for me, so I can be at both,
Okay,
Who would've thought we'd ever see Luiz in love?
I never saw that coming,
-You must be a very special girl, -Come on,
-Thanks, -I agree,
-We deserve champagne, -Sure! Special occasion,
-Thanks, -I'll have this one, Le… Lecle…
-Lecleique, -Leclerc,
-That one, the most expensive, -I'll have one too,
Excuse me, I think I left the car lights on,
-Samir can go with you, -Sure,
I turned them off,
-Thanks, -Don't mention it,
Don't you have an important call to make?
-It just came to me, -Yes, I do,
-I'll go somewhere quieter, -Okay,
I'm coming too, I have to call our son,
You know what?
-I can make the call later, -Yes,
Let's have champagne,
-I'll call them later, -Stay here with us,
Are you keeping a secret, Luiz? You look nervous,
No, I'm cool, I have nothing to hide,
SUELLEN GLÓRIA ACCEPT
Tell us the hot details of your relationship,
I'm a modern woman,
I can't, I'm too shy,
Give me a kiss, honey, I want a kiss,
Watch the performance
of this lame actress here,
Cool,
Maria Inez, Luiz is really keeping a secret,
-He is? -But it's not from you, It's from me,
You lied to me!
Come again,
You lied to me!
It was for your own good,
I was deceived for my own good?
Keep it down, Everybody is looking,
Forgive me,
What?
Forgive me,
Have a nice life,
-I'll go after her, -We will too,
-Samir, finish that fish, -No,
Eat your fish,
I'll deal with that later,
-Suellen Glória? -Yes?
I'm Maria Inez, Luiz's sister,
Is he all right?
He has appendicitis,
He wouldn't let go of his phone… Excuse me,
He kept yelling, "I have a date with Suellen Glória!"
He said you'd be here,
Hold on, So, he was sedated…
-Champagne, please, -Sure,
Thank you,
And I decided to come tell you in person,
Thank you so much,
-Don't mention it, -How thoughtful,
-No, I mean it, -It was nothing,
Mom is very religious,
She's always picking on my husband, Samir,
Waiter!
You don't drink, do you?
-I don't, -I respect that, It's sophisticated,
Well, I'm not sophisticated, so…
I'll have just one more, Waiter,
Suellen Glória hopes you get well soon,
She's sweet, I'll charge extra, she talks too much,
An extra? You can forget about it,
I won't give you any more money,
See you,
Good morning, Mommy!
-My queen, -Gosh! Look at that!
The engagement is doing you good,
You got up early,
I was tired, I needed to rest, you know?
I'm spending the day with you, my queen,
I don't want sad faces, I'm happy you're getting married,
-So am I, -And so am I,
What is she doing here?
Surprise, honey! I came for breakfast,
Dinosaurs, that's cute,
I invited her to have breakfast with us,
I have an engagement gift for you,
My dear mother-in-law, you shouldn't…
You shouldn't have come,
I'm being polite, And I can't afford to decline a gift or extra work,
I'm not paying extra, I didn't invite you here,
She's coming, And you'll pay every penny of my overtime,
-What's this, Mom? -Open it,
-What key is this? -That key is to our family condo
-that I want you two to have, -I can't accept…
Ms, Carlota, thank you so much!
I appreciate it so much, I mean, we appreciate it as a couple,
And so will Carlotinha, our first daughter,
-She'll take her granny's name, -Oh my God!
Thank you so much, Mom,
-Can I call you "Mom"? -Of course, honey,
Group hug!
Your sister's nosy, Living together makes it easier to hide things from her,
I heard you say you were being evicted,
I'm not stupid, You're taking advantage of this,
What's wrong with that? I'm here on business,
No,
I hired a five-date pack, not a full-time wife,
We need to discuss the wage for my 24/7 shift,
no days off, plus night pay for sleeping at work,
Have you been drinking?
Do you think I want all this?
-Looks good, right? -It's darker there,
When it dries… Have you ever painted a wall?
So, it's not done,
But we agreed on one part-time wife, right?
Excuse me, We're done,
Great! Come here, please,
Part-time marriage sounds good, huh?
6 MONTHS FARCE ENDS - DECEMBER 20
Open house!
MONDAY, JUNE 4
Start looking for a place to live,
because all of this will be over in five months and 21 days,
You're really counting,
That's how long my mom has to live,
At the beginning, I thought Mom's illness…
I didn't want to face it,
Humanity is always three drinks behind reality,
said Humphrey Bogart,
-Who's that? -What?
You don't know?
-Are you judging me? -No, I'm not,
Let's send her a picture, Come,
-Now? No fingers, -No, go ahead,
-This is the right pose for her, -Here we go,
Luiz and Lina in our group chat,
They look adorable!
Your BP is lower,
Really? It's lower, that's great,
Hand me my phone, Maria Inez,
What
a beautiful
couple!
A three-part message,
-What a cute little mommy! -That's my mom,
Let's do the couple's paint war,
It's a classic, never gets old,
Is that our family's condo?
I gave it to them,
Oh!
-I'm going to pass out, -What's wrong, Maria Inez?
-Take it easy, -Help me, Dr, Edmar,
-Don't be dramatic, -Relax,
-Let's send her a nude? -People believe accidental nudes,
-I'll send it, wait, then delete it, -Exactly,
They're sending naughty pictures in our group,
What?
They're sending nudes?
They deleted it,
-You look better, -She really does,
A lot better,
What a gorgeous view,
Enjoy it, This gig won't last forever,
It's the time I need to see if I'm staying in São Paulo,
How did you start with this…
-Wife for hire? -You read my thoughts,
It took you long enough to ask me about that,
Yeah, I never asked,
I had bills to pay,
What other characters have you played?
All sorts of animals and plants in children's plays,
Right, for kids,
I've also been a daughter, sister, lover,
Why would anyone hire a fake lover?
Listen up,
-The guy was busted, -Right,
So, I pretended to be his lover and apologized to his wife,
She punched me in the jaw, It still hurts,
-Really? -Feel it,
-Get out! -Mission accomplished,
-You're good at this, -You're better,
You have money and no job, I can barely get by,
How about education? Did you go to college?
-I did, -Did you?
I was promising,
A promise that was never fulfilled, but I was promising,
So, another toast, That makes the two of us,
-Two failed promises, -That's me,
But my monologue is coming up,
And the countdown starts,
If nothing works out, I'll gather my stuff, which is not much,
go back home and end my acting career,
Where are you from?
Far away,
Norway? Are you from Norway?
Norway, really?
Come over here,
You're sleeping on the floor, the sofa is worse,
-Sleep over here, -No, stop it,
I never spend the night with women, I'm following the rules,
I'm not complaining, I'm fine here,
This is my spot, okay?
Are you awake?
Lina?
What the hell?
SAT 30 - JUNE
Heterosexual love stories
have an impenetrable barrier,
Men,
-Good morning, -Men,
-An impenetrable… -Mom is coming over,
She wants to see if you're taking care of her son,
An impenetrable barrier, Men,
She brought these cleaning products,
so you can do the housework,
You do the housework, Or hire someone,
I've never done that, I won't start now,
I hired you, I pay you with my allowance, you clean up,
I was hired as an actress, and in terrible working conditions,
This house is a mess, there's no coffee, no catering,
You're a lame actress,
-Heterosexual love stories… -Lame actress!
I hired you as a wife,
Do you know which organ works solely to give pleasure?
No, I don't know,
I'm not talking to you, I'm rehearsing,
Of course you don't, It's the clitoris,
What does that mean?
That I have better things to do than cleaning up Luiz Pereira's house,
Luis Pereira…
I'll clean here,
It's really dirty in here,
WED 14 - JULY
Mom will come over tomorrow,
Okay,
WED 8 - AUGUST
I missed a call from your mom,
She texted me saying she can't make it,
-Again? -Yes,
WED 30 - AUGUST
What's up?
Wow!
Since Mom didn't come… Want some?
Of course!
It's much better,
Mom learned to make video calls,
She seems happy,
I think she'll die peacefully,
Since she's not here, and my sister isn't bugging me,
what did Luiz do? He invited himself to visit Suellen Glória,
Cool, So, you're not coming to my monologue opening night,
Tonight,
Gosh…
-I can't stand her up again, -Right, Don't worry,
-I haven't had sex for two months, -It's your loss,
It's not my loss, Look,
-I don't like all that yelling, -Actors don't yell,
We project our voices,
Screw you!
Projected, Not yelled,
Hello?
-Hey, baby, -Hi,
I can't believe this,
Let me call you back,
Perhaps the secret ingredient
of the best love stories…
is two big servings of solitude,
I have myself,
you have yourself,
and we have one another,
Hey, Let me get this straight,
Maria Inez was spying on you with binoculars,
-And drinking soda? -I'm not crazy,
-Please, Luiz! -Don't you have anything to tell me?
-Like what? -You're acting weird,
-I'm not acting weird, -Yes, you are,
I'm not,
-Is it 'cause I didn't go to your opening? -I was mad, but not anymore,
I see,
Grapes are fruit,
And doctors recommend one glass before dinner,
Well, I drink one week's worth in a day,
-Please, split the charge in two cards, -What?
Did you bang your head? How about my benefits?
-Transportation, meal voucher… -Vacation!
As domestic workers,
we're entitled to benefits like any other worker,
That's right, comrade!
I'm tired of cleaning, and ironing, and cooking,
I'm freaking sick of it!
Heard that? I don't even have my wallet,
-It's like I paid her to say that to you, -That was ridiculous,
-But the shoe fit, It did! -She was yelling,
"The shoe fit…"
Funny is that I am the homemaker, You just sit around all day,
That's true,
I have to admit, that's true,
But I'll redeem myself by taking you out to lunch, My treat!
Oh my,
-You have to relax, -Sure, because things are going so well,
Blackmailed by my mom, stalked by my sister,
exploited by my fake wife, I really should relax,
I meant romantically, like having someone for casual sex,
a hookup,
A hookup?
Really? Look who's telling me that,
You have no one, Give me a break,
-Priorities, hon, -Come on!
I'm in a creative process phase, I can't waste my energy on sex,
My pal Honoré de Balzac, writer, never had sex while writing a book,
Man, don't even bring that up,
Why don't you invite Suellen over?
Rule number two, never invite a woman over,
Fine, You can have sex next year,
That's too far away, I can't wait until next year,
-You think? -Yeah,
I'll go to a friend's house to give you privacy,
What friend?
-I've never seen you with a friend, -I have plenty of friends,
Sure you do, They live in library shelves,
and were born in the 1800's,
That's funny,
-That's a joke, I see, -Yeah,
Why don't you mind your own messed-up life?
Fine, Suellen Glória may come over, But…
you have to be there,
What if my sister shows up?
I'll have to pretend I'm Maria Inez,
But I'd be lying to Suellen Glória,
It's perfect!
You're so sweet! It was nice of you to bring this…
this… this bush,
It's actually a tree of happiness,
I planted male and female seeds,
They represent your love and bond,
Luiz, if you don't marry Suellen, who is glorious,
then I will!
Didn't you say you're married when we met?
He's gone,
Samir is gone,
He left so much debt behind, you could say he is dead,
But he isn't, he just left,
Luiz took me in,
-I'm sorry I brought this up, -Don't worry,
I'm going to have fun tonight!
Luiz is our super chef,
Yeah, You can get married now,
I should tell you,
I don't usually keep a relationship…
With whoever crosses his path, He's picky,
But I can assure you that Luiz is a keeper,
Maria Inez!
Can you help me? Please,
-I can help, -Leave it to Maria Inez,
Leave it to me, dear,
Darling girl,
There's a nice bed in there for you,
What… Hold on, I…
I really have to go,
No way! You can sleep over,
It's a nice day to have sex, huh? There's the bedroom,
No, I've got to get up early,
I ride my bike in the morning,
You can ride this,
Oops! A road full of speed bumps,
Thanks, but I really should go,
But you're already here,
Bye, Nice seeing you,
We'll have another chance,
How many people are having sex now?
About a million,
I looked it up for my play,
One million orgasms,
Nope, It's 514,000,
Because only 75% of men and 25% of women will reach climax,
The things I learn from you,
You're nuts,
You're totally nuts,
I take this opportunity
to announce to São Paulo…
Step away,
…that Luiz doesn't need to pay me anymore,
Wait, what?
That's all,
-All right! I'm glad to hear it, -I know you are,
In exchange,
you'll cook at an event where I'm going to perform,
-No way, No! -Too late, they're counting on you,
I've already sold our "Better Half Combo,"
-It's a bachelorette party, -What?
This is not going to work, I'm not a chef,
If you fake it long enough, you'll become one,
-Remember? -Yes,
Hello,
Chef Luiz Pereira, this is Paula, the bride,
Oi,
Have we met before?
No,
I'd definitely remember you,
Excuse us, Chef, I'll show you where I'll perform,
-Soraya! -Hi,
Let me introduce our chef, The bride's mother…
Where is he? He was right here,
-Never mind, Let's go, -Sure,
Yes…
-What are you doing? -You scared me!
A bunch of my hookups are here,
-What do you mean? -Look,
Catarina, Cecília, and Soraya, who happens to be the bride's mother!
Don't you dare leave this kitchen!
You can always expect some shit after a "but",
-It's true, -Right?
"Yeah, love,
but I'm not like the other guys,"
"I have a mother,"
"I have a sister," What?
"I listen to women,"
As if it were some sort of special skill, right?
That women are…
Women are like ghosts,
They can haunt you all of a sudden,
Women can easily find you,
catch you!
They'll find you behind the curtain!
Hiding away!
Luiz?
Soraya!
I need to check the food, it's going to burn,
Chef, the appetizers are a hit,
Yes, the appetizers,
Let's keep them coming, okay?
That's great,
You nearly…
Wait a minute,
…destroyed my marriage,
You scoundrel! Come over here,
I almost lost my stupid husband because of you!
You son of a…
-Hi! -What?
You should see your faces,
That was great,
Give it up for our actor chef,
and for the bride's mother,
who was the star of our little prank,
Bravo!
She didn't tell me anything, It was great,
It was a surprise, dear,
Featuring our actor, trained in Japan by Professor Ikillyou,
Get lost,
Let's give it up for the bride's mother, She nailed it!
What an actress!
And a round of applause for our chef,
who, sadly, is not on the menu,
Back to the cave painting…
TUE 3 - SEPTEMBER BETTER HALF COMBO - 50TH ANNIVERSARY
THU 5 WEDDING
SAT 7 BAPTISM
WED 11 BACHELOR PARTY
TUE 17 BETTER HALF COMBO - DIVORCE PARTY
I don't believe it,
Your sister isn't here, crazy man,
That's what you think,
She's cunning, that one, Trust me,
You have to go out, have some fun, Forget about your sister,
I spent the money I had left on pots and pans,
Mom has cut off my allowance,
The disease might affect her memory,
-It was me, actually, -You what?
I told her you're earning your own money now,
-Why'd you do that? -You should've seen how happy she was,
I can lend you money, How much?
How would you lend me anything? We make the same wage,
and you spend twice as much, What's left to lend?
I wasn't aware we were married for real,
-Wait, -You should've told me,
Relax,
Unbelievable,
I'm taking you to a sister-free party tonight,
-Party? -Yes, you're paranoid,
Maria Inez! Over there,
Hello!
This party is for actors,
With these masks on, we can flirt with everyone,
We? What about your abstinence?
My monologue is ready, baby, It's time to get some action,
Let's hit the bar,
I'll find someone to kiss right now,
They put a ladder in the middle of the catwalk,
Can you imagine that? How could I climb it in those heels?
I pretended it was part…
of the choreography,
-I don't get in trouble, -What? That's all you ever talk about,
I don't get in trouble because I don't wait for it to happen,
-But you build up a situation, -No, that's the thing,
-I don't cause trouble, I run from it, -You're the trouble,
-I can't tell you… -I go…
Unlike other guys, I never lie to women,
-I'm different, that's all, -Don't confuse your flaws with the truth,
-Said my girl Clarice Lispector, -What is my flaw?
Not wanting to fall in love
just to walk out on my family like my father did? Is that a flaw?
-Can I be honest? -Please,
The more you deny it, the more you become like him,
Get out of here!
It's settled, Passion won't rule my life,
-Love is what leads everybody's lives, -Not mine,
Whether finding it or running from it, it's always about love,
Not mine,
We met three months ago,
-Already? -You know what that means?
No?
We'd be in the passion phase,
-The second phase of love, -Yeah,
-"My darling," -Baby talk,
-"You're my baby," -"My baby,"
-"You're the love of my life," -"Cute,"
-"You're so cute," -"My sweetie,"
-Pathetic! -Ridiculous!
Mom has only three months to live,
Her time is almost up,
So is ours,
Thank goodness!
Not because she'll die,
but because we'll finally be free,
-We'll go our separate ways, -Yeah!
-It's been three months already, -Yeah,
-I can't wait, -We'll be free,
I'm happy to have met you,
So am I,
I'm going to bed, I'm exhausted,
I'll stay a little longer,
I'm having lunch with my mom tomorrow,
I think she's been avoiding me,
You'll see a different woman from what she used to be,
Good night,
Mom?
Mom!
I dozed off, son,
I missed you so much, my love,
Let me take a look at you,
Did you bring me flowers?
Are you all right?
I'm great!
Let's get some lunch, I'm starving,
I have to say, since you left home,
I've never touched that stove again,
But you loved cooking,
I hated cooking, Always have,
I still don't know who you got that from,
But I'm so proud of you for becoming a chef,
Let's eat,
Are we eating from the box?
They're biodegradable, Throwing them away makes trees sprout,
-My friend from yoga told me, -Friend from yoga?
She's in the GeriaTrip, our vibrant group of senior girls,
We hop on a van and go everywhere,
You know, son,
death
can teach you a lot about life,
Dr, Edmar told me that,
I can see that,
Poor man, He's a widower, so lonely,
We invited him to our group, He's the only man among us girls,
It's good to have a doctor around,
It's great, He just gave me a ride home on his motorcycle,
Motorcycle?
He said he's pretty sure
I'm going to be here on January 4th,
Mom, that's great news!
I'm so happy!
I'll be here for your wedding!
-It's great, -Yeah,
I broke my rules, man, Every single one of them,
They're falling apart,
-Why are you whispering? -Quiet!
Maria Inez is not here, I'm worried about you,
My mom was about to die, man,
All of a sudden, she comes back from the ashes,
I'm engaged to an actress, Awesome,
I don't get laid in three months, Hey, that's awesome too,
Brother, just grab a girl,
drive up to the hills
and camp over there with her,
-My sister is on my tail, -Relax!
It's too far, she won't even bother,
My mother-in-law hated it,
Fine, Where is it?
It's a two-hour drive, It's beautiful up there, look,
-A tent here, a fire there, -Where's it?
Hey!
-What's up? -What is that? Going camping?
Nestor gave me an idea,
He got me thinking, you know?
I realized I need some time off
to clear my mind,
So, I'm taking a romantic trip to the hills,
Care to come?
On a romantic trip?
Yeah, it does sound a little weird,
But this whole situation with the fake wedding
has been changing my mind,
It made me consider the possibility
of a real relationship,
Yeah…
And I've got Suellen Glória,
She's beautiful, kind, smart,
So, I asked her,
Right, Suellen Glória, And you want me to come along?
You need to, You have to be there,
Maria Inez would suspect us if you stayed,
And Mom would love to see
romantic pictures of us, in the woods, among the trees,
How'll you explain my presence to Suellen Glória?
I'm sorry for separating you two,
but I feel sick in the back seat,
-It's fine, -"Feel sick",
This trip will help you forget the troubles with your husband,
-It'll be great, -I'll get over it,
Awesome,
-Let's see if you guys know this one, -Hit it,
-If you need to build a dam -…to build a dam
-I've got… -I've got a beaver
-If you need to build a dam -If you need to build a dam
-I've got… -I've got the wood
-How do you even know this one? -How do you?
-It's so ridiculous, -It's good,
-It's here, right? -Looks like it,
So, we're here,
Are you sure I'm not the third wheel?
I am, Actually, I feel more comfortable with you here,
I've never taken a girl on a trip,
And now you're taking two,
You don't count,
You have to see what's inside,
She's a doctor, she has a Law degree,
tennis state champion, polyglot, doesn't drink alcohol,
What else do you want?
How about inside? Her kidneys, her gallbladder, an ingrained grudge?
You're being silly,
You can't see it, can you?
You've become the romantic type you've always feared,
-I'm not, -You are,
Look at your face,
-You think I'm in love with her? -Let me close it, Move,
Get out of the way,
-In love… -You think so?
Idiot,
-What? -Come here,
-Put this on, -I'm coming,
You too, Maria Inez, There are mosquitoes here, I made it,
You made it?
Yes, it's 100% natural,
She made it,
-Be careful with the vines, -Thanks,
-I'll carry that for you, -Thanks,
Nature is so perfect,
There's a lake too,
Beware of the ants,
But… Oh no,
Be careful around the fire,
Look at that! Good job!
It looks great,
-Cool, -Looks nice, right?
I'm surprised, You nailed it,
Let's get inside,
-It's dark, it's late, -Okay,
We need some rest,
-Let's go, -But now?
-Yeah, now, -We just got here,
Come in,
It's probably just a little hawk, Come here,
-It sounds like a wild pig, -It does, right?
Don't scare me!
-Look! -No!
No…
What's that?
-I'm going outside, -What? No!
Are you crazy?
-Stay in here, -Don't leave me alone,
-I'm so sorry, -No!
I have a good reason, I'm sorry,
-What do you want? -I have a bad feeling about Mom,
-Will you pray with me? -No, get out of here,
-She just lost her husband, Luiz, -I lost my husband,
-Luiz, -I want to make love,
I called you because we need to take pictures for your mom,
Now? When I was about to get laid?
-The night was a mess, -Really?
I hibernated,
Like a bear,
The lake is a nice setting, Hurry up, my battery is almost dead,
I like it here,
God, I can't believe this, They're so weird,
MARIA INEZ ACCEPT
Hi, Maria Inez,
-Lina? -Lina? No, it's Suellen Glória,
Suellen Glória?
Yes, Luiz's girlfriend,
Is this Maria Inez? Luiz's sister?
I am Maria Inez,
And you're being played, We all are,
Looks good, right?
-It was here, -Where are our things?
-What… -Is this the wrong campsite?
No!
The fire was…
-Suellen Glória? -What's that over there?
What does it say?
-Doctor's handwriting, -It's a freaking ECG,
Forget it, We can't read this,
Suellen Glória!
Where's my car?
-My phone is dead, Where's yours? -Damn!
Oh my God!
My phone was in the tent,
I feel butterflies in my stomach,
But if I were in love,
I'd be sad that she's gone,
And I'm not,
Yes, I guess,
I'm not sure,
How come? You've had lots of relationships,
If you don't know, who does?
All my husbands were fake,
But in real life, I've had a few boyfriends,
How do you know so much about relationships?
I learned it from books, movies, plays…
So, you, too, know it in theory only,
What's love like in real life? I mean, in practice,
In practice, love is two "solitudes" that protect and greet each other,
It is cold,
A friend of mine said that, Rainer Maria Rilke,
Don't you have any real friends?
You, Aren't you my friend?
You are,
It is cold,
It's nice that you have a big family,
The bond you all have,
I've always been lonely,
I've been pretty lonely too, I've felt lonely,
Unlike everybody else,
For the first time, I feel like I have a real partner,
Someone like me,
You should let women know you up close,
You're more handsome than from afar,
And from afar, you're… Holy shit!
You're a captivating character,
-We're great together, aren't we? -We are,
The world can't hold us,
-Who said that? -A friend of mine,
-Yeah? -Yeah, Homer,
Homer?
-Homer Simpson, -No,
No, come on,
You're lame,
I'm lame,
-That's my car, -Your car?
What happened here?
JERKS
-It's open, -Our stuff is here,
Here's my phone,
Can you read it?
I think I see an "E",
Here's the key,
I did my best with what you had in the fridge,
What are we having?
-Penne with vegetables, -I'll have two,
-Two what? -Two pennes,
Just kidding, chef,
Two big servings of solitude,
I have myself,
you have yourself, and we have one another,
Wonderful!
She is really wonderful,
Lina, your Better Half Combo is amazing,
Isn't it? The classic finger food,
also known as street food with frills,
Idealized by our just-divorced Ju,
and developed by our chef Luiz Pereira, who's killing it!
You're on fire,
I'm going to change,
DECEMBER
FRI 9 ENGAGEMENT DINNER
WED 14 29TH ANNIVERSARY
TUE 20 ANNUAL PEREIRA FAMILY REUNION
Excuse me, God, my son is here!
-My love, -Mom!
-My babies, -You look stunning!
You look so
full of life,
The doctors are saying
that I'm a curious case, like Benjamin Button,
I keep getting younger, Right, Ed?
I can confirm it's true,
It's really a miracle, isn't it?
I need a drink,
Enjoy it,
-Is it nice, my love? -It's wonderful,
Hey,
Listen, Don't you think Valdete's had plastic surgery?
Her eyes look a little slanted,
-What's the big deal? -See? You killed the conversation again,
-You just talk about people's lives, -Your life must be so…
Yes! Good evening, Pereira family!
This is the moment you have all been waiting for,
I'm sure you know what I'm talking about,
Our dance contest!
The dance contest!
They've won this contest for the last 21 years,
Let's give it up for Maria Inez and Samir,
The next couple in our contest is Maria Eugênia and Tonico,
We'll nail it today!
Valdete and Carlos, come up on stage,
Making their debut in our contest,
let's hear it
for Luiz Pereira and Lina!
Let's give it up for our contestants,
Let's begin!
You can't beat me,
I'm Madonna, You don't have what it takes,
Shut up, I'm a better dancer,
Is everyone ready? DJ?
Oh Lord!
My God!
Looks like we have our finalists,
and we're ready for the last song in the contest, Hit it,
That was quite a show!
Let's hear it for our finalists,
I want you to vote for the best couple by a round of applause,
Maria Inez and Samir!
Luiz Pereira and Lina!
We won,
My baby!
Go!
Tonight's champions are Luiz and Lina!
Everybody's looking at us,
Use our secret word,
"Kiss"?
Congratulations, Luiz and Lina,
I have a surprise for the lovebirds,
And for all of you,
Our special guest is online,
Suellen Glória,
Luiz's real girlfriend,
Hello, everyone,
I'm at a spiritual retreat
because I was really hurt by what happened,
But I can only heal if I heal you too,
Just get to the point!
The truth is that Luiz and Lina…
just lied…
Lies… to…
-Draw the line… -It's freezing!
The truth is that Luiz and Lina…
That's it, everyone, Namaste,
"Namaste"? You prick!
What's that, Maria Inez?
She can prove that this couple is a fraud,
Maria Inez is right,
I had a relationship with Suellen Glória,
It was a real thing,
And I hired Lina as a fake wife,
I paid her to be my fiancée,
My engagement
is a fraud,
But I have to be honest,
We played around with love so much…
that I'm in love,
I told you that he was lying, Mom,
I've known it all along,
What?
Please, don't tell him,
Actually,
I'm the one who's been paying Lina,
That's it,
Perhaps the secret ingredient of the best love stories
is two big servings of solitude,
A woman wants to talk to you,
-A woman? -Yes,
Who?
Your mother-in-law,
I can lend you money, How much?
We make the same wage, and you spend twice as much,
What's left to lend?
-Don't you have anything to tell me? -Like what?
You're acting weird,
What?
That's why you did all this for me?
For money?
You're a freaking liar,
I am a liar,
But even though I lied,
I was really confused about this job
and what I was feeling
for you,
Turns out, this was my most difficult job,
To be myself with someone,
Have a nice life,
Here you go, It's all set,
Stay as long as you need, My house is your house,
Thanks, brother,
I got some clothes for you,
I'm here for you,
Hey, champ,
No openings,
We should have a kitchen here, man,
It's not that simple, man,
It's small, and I have three partners,
Keep looking, you'll find something, Google it,
-Hello, -Hi, How are you?
I'm here about the chef position,
It's been filled, Thank you,
KITCHEN ASSISTANT WANTED
Lina, I have to shut off the lights,
This is what Ms, Carlota is doing to me, My own mother,
Ms, Carlota has overprotected you,
-But she did something right, -What?
-Look at the man you've become, -I guess,
In six months, I've become a homemaker, a chef…
Someone's loved one,
If what I had with Lina were real,
we would be…
In phase three, real love, I know the rules,
I almost fell for the soul mate crap,
We try to find the one,
but we should be looking
for someone who brings out who we want to be,
Brother, what's keeping you
from becoming the man you want to be?
Just go for it,
It's on you,
Hello,
You talk to plants now?
This is the tree of happiness, right? I’m thanking it,
Making wishes,
You're funny,
I…
I told her
to stay here for as long as she needed,
But she decided to leave,
Did you lie about dying?
Of course not, Luiz,
Six months ago, my diagnosis said that I wouldn't get this far,
But it turned out
that you left home and,
I don't know, we both went through a healing process,
I seemed to get better after every test,
So, your problem was me,
Perhaps
the secret ingredient of the best love stories
is
two big servings of solitude,
I have myself,
you have yourself,
and we have one another,
No, I'm mad at you, You went too far,
No,
Luiz,
Do you have any idea how far I'd go
to see you happy?
You have no idea,
Why don't you spend the night with me?
We can watch a movie and have popcorn, just like the old days,
Okay,
Yay!
Popcorn!
-What is she doing here? -I got divorced,
I'm living in your room now,
Listen, I won't have you two picking on each other,
You should call a truce,
-Let's watch a movie, -That's better,
…have been blocked
between Pinheiros and Tietê freeways,
The end, that's it,
Cool,
I'll switch to the news,
SÃO PAULO IS AT A STANDSTILL
The city literally stopped, If you look over there…
It's just São Paulo being São Paulo! Always chaos,
-The traffic is held up, -It's Lina!
-Look! -My career and my life are held up,
I'm trying to give up on everything, but I can't even do that,
It's unbelievable!
-What are you waiting for? Go find her, -Do something,
-Hurry up, -Just go,
LINA CALLING…
Hi, this is Lina,
If I didn't answer, I'm busy, Leave a message,
It's jammed everywhere,
NESTOR VIDEO CALL
Nestor, what's up?
Brother, I just saw Lina on TV,
I'm on my way to find her,
You can't get there by car,
Get a bike, Or run there if you have to,
There's no other way, I'm hanging up,
Can you give me a lift, man?
You're a lifesaver,
Listen, I give up,
-What? We're too far, -It's okay, I'll walk,
Brother,
I can't thank you enough, Thanks,
Can you open the trunk, please?
Thanks,
-It's far, I can take you there, -It's fine,
It's all the same around here,
Except for our outraged citizen, who's decided to walk,
She'll have to walk 10km to the airport,
but she doesn't seem to care,
Lina!
Marry me,
Have sex with me, Work with me, Do everything with me,
Yes!
What's going on here, everyone?
Are you getting that, Robson?
We're celebrating the union of Luiz Pereira and Maria Abigail Maia,
Maria Abigail?
Lina is my stage name,
Another Maria in my life,
-It's my first exclusivity contract, -Okay,
Carlotinha, your heart is racing,
That's because of you, Ed,
Now you'll deal with the three phases of marriage,
Phase one, you're in love,
-It's happiness, right? -No, It's illusion,
-How's that? -Allan Kardec once said that…
-Allan Kardec? Please! -Seriously, you should read it,
My aunt sent it to me,
I'm divorced,
I've rebelled against the rules of society,
-Who's the square now? -You, Maria Inez,
Everybody gets divorced, Do you want to go against society?
Just stay married,
-Look what I brought to my sweetie, -You're here!
-Samir, -Yes?
-Why are you here? -No…
She invited me,
We're just hooking up,
He's my crush, my date,
After all, I am Maria Inez,
I'm unforgettable,
-Let's dance, -Yes,
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