رسانه اینترنتی مای موویز MyMoviz جامعترین سایت فیلم و سریال
( Angelica's "Bring Back Her Head" playing )
* IF YOU SAY YOU'LL BURN YOUR CAR *
* IF YOU'LL BURN THAT MOTORCAR *
* AND I KNOW IT IS FAUX PAS *
* IF SHE MEANS THAT MUCH TO YOU *
* IF THERE'S NOTHING YOU WON'T DO *
* YEAH, YOU'LL BURN IT THROUGH AND THROUGH *
* YEAH, YOU'LL BURN IT *
* THROUGH AND THROUGH *
* BRING HER HEAD BACK TO ME *
* SHE'S NOT ALL SHE'S MEANT TO BE *
* SHE'S NOT AS SHE'S MEANT TO BE *
* IF YOU CUT HER, SHE WILL BLEED *
* IF SHE MEANS THAT MUCH TO YOU *
* IF THERE'S NOTHING YOU WON'T DO *
* YEAH, YOU'LL BURN IT THROUGH AND THROUGH *
* BRING HER HEAD BACK TO ME *
* Bring her head back to me *
* BRING HER HEAD BACK TO ME *
- ( train chugging ) - ( clock ticking )
( brakes screeching )
( evil laughter )
SPARE US SOME CHANGE, MISS?
DO YOU KNOW WHERE HULME STREET IS?
- HULME? - H-U-L-M-E,
MY MOM LIVES THERE,
USED TO,
YOU'LL GET IT BACK,,,
LATER,
I USED TO KNOW A WOMAN WHO LIVED ON HULME STREET,
( ticking continues )
THIS WAY!
( siren wailing, horns honking )
THERE!
HEY! OW! OW!
- FUCK! - IDIOTS!
I'M LATE, I'M LATE,
GOTTA GET ME THERE,
( chiming )
( brakes screeching )
OH, NO NO NO NO,
OI! MOVE IT!
COME ON, GET UP, WHAT YOU WANT, A FUCKING OSCAR?
- ( moaning ) - LOOK AT THE TIME!
LOOK AT THE BLOODY TIME,
NINE MINUTES LATE HERE-- NINE THERE--
I'M LATE IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE!
LISTEN,
I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS,
I WISH I DID, BUT I DON'T,
- I'M ON MINUS MINUTES, SO-- - OI!
I SAW THAT, I SAW THAT,
BOOZE-- SHE'S OUT OF IT,
SHE'S ONE OF THEM FUCKING BINGE DRINKERS,
WHERE IS IT YOU WANT-- LETSBY AVENUE, YEAH?
- COME ON THEN, UP YOU GET, WHOA, - POLICE PLEASE,
THAT'S IT, NO PROBLEM, SHE'LL SLEEP IT OFF,
SHE'LL BE RIGHT AS RAIN, DON'T WORRY,
RIGHT, OKAY, HERE WE GO,
THAT'S IT, IN YOU GO,
THAT'S IT,
LEAVE IT, WHITEY, LEAVE IT, THERE'S NO TIME, NO TIME,
NO TIME, NO TIME, NO TIME,
I'M LATE,
"WHITEY'S RULES: NUMBER ONE-- NO DYING,
RULE TWO-- NO PUKING,
RULE THREE-- NO NOTHING ELSE,"
- NO TIME FOR E,R, - MY HEAD,,,
I'VE GOT A PICK-UP TO MAKE, NOTHING'S GOING TO STAND IN MY WAY,
GET READY FOR THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT,
( moaning )
THIS ISN'T RIGHT,
YANK,,,
LOS-FUCKING-ANGELES THIS IS NOT,
- WHERE-- WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME? - HOME, EVENTUALLY,
BUT THE PARTY FIRST-- HARRY'S,
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
MY NAME?
UM,,, I CAN'T REMEMBER,
YOU'VE HAD A BANG ON THE HEAD,
YEAH, THAT'S AMNE-- AMIN--
NO, WHAT IS IT? UM,,,
ANIMESE,,, SSS,
YOU'VE LOST YOUR FUCKING MEMORY,
FOR YOUR KNEES,
FOR YOUR NERVES,
SHH, FOR YOUR BREATH,
WHAT'S THIS RIGHT HERE?
- HERE-- WALLOP, - HMM?
- "FOR YOUR HEAD," - NOW LISTEN TO ME,
I WANT YOU TO POP ONE OF THEM DOWN YOUR RABBIT HOLE,
THEY'RE GONNA KNOCK YOU OUT AT FIRST,
BUT AFTERWARDS, YOU ARE GONNA BE AS SHARP AS SHIT,
( moans )
TRUST ME, I'M A DOCTOR,
I DO PRESCRIPTIONS,
PEOPLE TELL ME WHAT THEY NEED,
AND I NICK IT,
THANK YOU,
GOTTA GET ME THERE, I'M LATE,
HARRY HUNT, BIG BOSS,
JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL,
BIG PARTY,
( echoing ) BEST PRESENT EVER,
PURE AND UNCUT, SPECIAL IMPORT,
GOTTA GET ME THAT THAI FOR HARRY,
TIE?
- MR, GRIFFIN, - ( echoing ) LOOK, I HAVE TO WARN YOU,
WHAT'S IN HERE MAY CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER,
- ARE YOU SURE? - YES,
- ( distorted ) SURE? - YES,
,,,CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER,
I CALLED A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR,,, MR, GRIFFIN,,,
( distorted ) WHO'S TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE?
- ( brakes screech ) - ( grunts )
- ( clattering ) - ( man humming )
( laughs )
WHAT'S IN HERE?
HA!
OH,
OH, YES,
WHO ARE YOU?
I KNOW WHO I AM, WHO ARE YOU?
DRUGS!
FOR YOUR BREATH?
- I DON'T KNOW, - ME NEITHER,
- FOR YOUR NERVES?! - THIS IS GETTING ME NOWHERE,
DEPENDS WHERE YOU WANNA BE,
MY HEAD,,,
- WH-- - HUH HUH?
IS THAT MY BAG?
( gasps )
YOU'VE GOT MY BAG, THAT'S MY BAG!
- ( panting ) - HEY!
Whitey: AS SOON AS I WOKE UP,
I SAID TODAY WAS GONNA BE A BAD DAY,
THAT'S SEVEN WORDS, THREE SECONDS TO SAY 'EM,
ALREADY I'M LATE GETTING OUT OF BED,
TIME SNOWBALLS-- A SECOND HERE, A SECOND THERE,
AND NOW I'VE MISSED MY DELIVERY,
OI!
( laughter )
WHERE'S MY GOODS?
- THAT WAY! - THIS WAY!
WELL, THAT'S FUCKING SPECIFIC, ( sniffs )
- WHOO WHOO! - WAIT!
WHOO!
YEAH!
I'VE TOTTED THE TAKINGS,
- AH,,, AH, - STOP!
- COME BACK, - BUT NOT ONE TOSSPOT HAS REACHED TARGET,
- ( panting ) - ( laughs )
- WAIT! - TARGET'S TOO HARD, GONZO,
IS IT?
WHERE'S THE DIDDYMAN?
- OH, GONZO, - OH, HERE HE IS,
- ( pants ) - ALL RIGHT?
14 QUID ON THE MAD MOUSE?
I HAD TO SHUT DOWN,
THE TRACK WASN'T SAFE,
NOT SAFE?
NOT SAFE IS GOOD, RIGHT?
IF THE TRACK CRACKS,,,
NO!
,,,HOW FAR'S THE FALL?
NO NO! GONZO, GONZO!
( grunts ) NO!
WAIT WAIT,
HEY!
THAT BAG AND THE MONEY-- HE STOLE IT,
- GIVE IT BACK, - ( groans )
- WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT WOMEN? - SHE FOLLOWED ME IN,
GIRLS ARE TROUBLE,
WOMEN ARE DOUBLE,
( sighs )
WHAT ARE YOU, A RUNAWAY? EH?
SUICIDE?
( gasps ) NOT A,,,
JUNKY?
GOTTA HAVE A PROBLEM TO WORK HERE, LOVE,
( laughs ) I'VE GOT FLATULENCE,
- I'VE GOT A FAT BACK, - AND I'VE GOT HALITOSIS,
SAINT GONZO-- THAT'S ME,
EMPLOYER OF THE FLOTSAM AND JETSAM,
- I HAVE GOT A PROBLEM, ACTUALLY, - OH,
I CAN'T REMEMBER NAMES, PLACES,
I CAN THINK OF A FEW PLACES FOR YOU,
- ( laughs ) - MY MIND'S A BLANK,
WELL, DID YOU HEAR THAT, LADS?
THE LADY'S LOST HER MEMORY,
YOU LOT BETTER LOOK FOR IT,
( men laughing )
STEP INTO MY OFFICE,
I'M NOT SURE IF I SHOULD,
THEN YOU'RE NOT SURE IF YOU SHOULDN'T,
- ( metal clanks ) - ( horse neighs )
WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU AND I,,,
WE HAVE A LITTLE PRIVATE PARTY?
WE WERE GOING TO HARRY'S PARTY,
HARRY HUNT,,,
RHYMES WITH,,,
WHAT'S A-- WHAT'S AN OLD DEVIL LIKE HIM
TO AN ANGEL LIKE YOU, EH?
- I SHOULD GO FIND OUT, - ( laughs ) YOU'RE GOOD,
YOU ARE VERY GOOD, HUH?
( laughs ) I'VE SEEN PORK MORE KOSHER,
YOU'RE HERE TO SNIFF OUT WHAT I'VE BOUGHT HIM, AREN'T YOU? EH?
WHAT GIFT I'VE BOUGHT HIM
TO MAKE ME HIS NUMBER-ONE GEEZER,
YOU'RE A SPY,
I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT,
OH YEAH? WHO'S YOUR DADDY?
WHERE ARE YOU FROM? WHO ARE YOU WITH?
- WHY-- - WHY?
- WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?
BECAUSE I'M ASKING, THAT'S WHY,
- WHITEY, - WHAT? WHITEY!
( groans )
THAT DIRTY LITTLE,,,
UH, SO, WHERE IS HE?
HMM?
HE'S,,,
PICKING UP SOMETHING FOR,,,
PICKING UP SOMETHING FOR HARRY,
WHAT?
UH,,,
( imitating Whitey ) "GOTTA GET ME THERE, I'M LATE,
GOTTA GET ME A TIE FOR HARRY,"
TIE?
TIE MY ASS,
TIE?
TIE IS A GREEN CHANNEL AT CUSTOMS,
HE'S GOT HIM SOMETHING SPECIAL,
HMM?
I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT,
- NOW! - ( horse neighs )
MR, BIG, WHAT CLASS-A DELIGHTS
HAVE YOU ROBBED FOR US TONIGHT?
YOU'RE IN NO STATE TO GET LIPPY,
WHITEY, HE'S GOT YOUR MONEY,
( grunts )
I WOULDN'T HAVE HURT YOU, YOU KNOW THAT,
ADIOS,
- HEY, THANKS, - FOR WHAT?
- FOR SAVING ME, - THIS AIN'T OVER, WHITEY,
THE ONLY BIRD WORTH SAVING IS HER MAJESTY,
YOU GET HIM A TIE, I'LL GET HIM A SHIRT,
IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'VE GOT A HEART ATTACK PLANNED,
YOU GET HIM SHOES, I'LL GET HIM A HANDBAG,
WHAT I'VE GOT IS TILL 10:00
TO FIND THE BEST PRESENT EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD FOR HARRY,
FOUR EYES ARE BETTER THAN TWO,
SO WHO IS THIS STUPID HARRY, ANYWAY?
( sighs ) HE'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD SAYING THAT,
( thunder rumbling )
Whitey's voice: HARRY'S BEEN INSIDE,
WORD IS HARRY'S ORGANIZED A BIG BANK JOB,
MASSIVE,
MILLIONS WAITING TO BE ROBBED,
EVERYBODY WANTS IN,
THAT'S WHY THE FIGHT TO GET HIM
THE BIGGEST, BESTEST COMING-OUT PRESENT--
TO BUY HIS FAVOR,
( dog growls )
Whitey's voice: WHEN HARRY PICKS HIS TEAM FOR THE BIG ONE,,,
HE'S MAKING MILLIONAIRES,
( dog barks )
HE DON'T DO NOTHING BY HALVES-- HARRY, SEE?
HE SORTED OUT THE CLUBS AND THEIR OWNERS,
- ( man grunts ) - THEN THERE WAS THE DIAMOND GEEZERS,
I BELIEVE THAT GOT MESSY,
THEN THE SPADES TRIED MUSCLING IN,
LAST ONE DEAD WAS THE D,J,
DOES LIKE HIS MUSIC, DOES HARRY,
HOO-HOO! GEORGE MICHAEL,
PET SHOP BOYS,
LIBERACE,
HE SOUNDS,,, FASCINATING,
I'VE HEARD HARRY CALLED A LOT OF "F" WORDS,
"FASCINATING" IS A NEW ONE,
- ( chuckles ) - TONIGHT'S HIS COMING-OUT PARTY,
EVERYONE WHO'S ANYONE WILL BE SHOWERING HIM WITH GIFTS EXCEPT ME,
BECAUSE MINE'S GONE WALKABOUT,
WELL, HE MIGHT NOT NOTICE,
I MEAN, HE'LL BE BUSY WITH HIS OTHER PRESENTS,
HE'S GOT THE ALL-SEEING EYE,
HE MAKES SAURON LOOK LIKE STEVIE WONDER,
THAT'S WHY I'VE GOT TO PULL SOMETHING BIG OUT OF THE HAT,
NOW COME ON, COME ON, JUST-- JUST THINK THINK THINK,
I THINK,,,
I THINK I MIGHT HURL,
MEDICATION ON AN EMPTY STOMACH-- NOT GOOD,
ALWAYS READ THE LABEL,
( dance music playing )
THE IMPERIAL--
STUFFED WITH CHICKEN, SHISH, DONER,
SOME OTHER DEAD THING,
ONLY 9,000 POINTS ON WEIGHT WATCHERS,
MMM,
NEVER TASTED ANYTHING LIKE IT,
HALF A GOAT IN THERE, EASY,
NOW, ORDER OF THE DAY,
WHAT DO I GET A MAN
WHO CAN ROB EVERYTHING?
WELL, WHAT'S HE INTO?
BANKS, SECURITY, VEHICLES, BLOKES,
DOES HE LIKE,,, ART?
ROUND HERE, ART IS GETTING THE SPELLING RIGHT ON YOUR TATTOO,
- WHAT ABOUT A CAKE? - WHO BUYS A MOB BOSS A CAKE?
SOMEONE WHO CARES,
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, NICE ONE, BRITNEY,
THAT'S NOT MY NAME,
YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE,
SO YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE NOT,
NOW,,,
THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING IN HERE WITH YOUR NAME ON IT,
- HEY, THAT'S PERSONAL, - YEAH, ONLY TO YOU,
AND WE DON'T KNOW YOU, SO IT'S NOT,
- IS IT NOT? - OKAY,
- ( sighs )
- PROPER NIP-TUCKED, - ( cell phone beeping )
LIPPY,
"VEGETARIAN'S GUIDE TO LONDON,"
RADIO THINGY,
- IS THIS WHERE YOU'RE STAYING? - IT COULD BE,
- WELL, I KNOW ONE THING, - WHAT?
YOU'RE LOADED,
LET'S CALL THEM, LET'S FIND OUT IF I'M CHECKED IN,
"ALL RIGHT, GOV, ANY GUESTS MISSING?"
"I'M VERY SORRY, SIR, I COULDN'T POSSIBLY DIVULGE--"
COME ON, 500 ROOMS,
WHAT ELSE?
DODGSON INDUSTRIES, NEW YORK,
OKAY, WE HAVE TO CALL THAT ONE,
CALL IT OFF, THE STATES IS A FIVER A WORD,
COME ON,
MY WHOLE LIFE COULD BE AT THE END OF THE LINE,
PLEASE,
I MEAN, I'M TAKING HITS ON THE CLOCK,
I'M TAKING HITS IN THE POCKET,
YOU KNOW, I'M TAKING PUNCHES ALL OVER,
( dialing )
- ( ringing ) - OKAY, IT'S RINGING,
ANSWERING MACHINE, WHAT DO I SAY?
IF YOU'RE MISSING A GIRL, CALL THIS NUMBER--
004477887900038,
( romantic music playing )
( record scratches, music stops )
I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK AGAIN,
WELL,,,
IT CAN'T BE SOMETHING YOU ATE,
NOW LISTEN,,,
I KNOW A PLACE WHERE I CAN GET THE CAKE,
WE DO THE PARTY, I DRIVE YOU TO LONDON--
FIVE-STAR CHAUFFERAGE TO YOUR FIVE-STAR HOTEL,
PROMISE,
THAT'S REALLY KIND OF YOU, BUT,,,
I JUST FEEL LIKE THAT WOULD TAKE FOREVER,
YOU KNOW, MAYBE LONGER, AND,,,
I JUST HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER WAY,
I KNOW,,,
I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING IMPORTANT,
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS,
WELL, BABE,
I WANT SHOT OF YOU A,S,A,P,, P,F,Q,
IF THERE WAS ANOTHER WAY, THEN I'M SURE THAT I WOULD HAVE--
I'VE JUST THOUGHT OF ONE,
YEAH?
( sniffs )
- ( tires screech ) - JESUS CHRIST,
RIGHT, HERE'S A 20, SHOULD GET YOU TO LONDON,
THANKS,
MM,
WHEN'S THE NEXT BUS?
I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU, DARLING-- I HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE,
( sighs )
WHAT?
JUST HAVING ONE LAST BUTCHERS
IN CASE I HAVE TO BANG ONE OUT LATER,
NOW I'M BEING A GENTLEMAN--
NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE, OKAY?
I BET I REGRET THIS,
OH, IT'S FREEZING,
OI!
Woman: Quiet night?
SO SO,
Liar, I've got just what you're looking for
RIGHT HERE AT DOOCHEY MANSION,
Don't you fucking touch it,
NICE THAI,
SILKY SMOOTH,
- LEAVE IT, - BUSINESS FIRST,
THIS LITTLE GIFT YOU'VE IMPORTED FOR HARRY
is easily the best,
HE WILL BE PLEASED,
- THAT'S WHY I WANT A SHARE, DEAL? - NO SHARE,
no deal, no way,
not even halfway,
GET HIM A CAKE,
WHO MAKES A MOB BOSS A CAKE?
- Someone who cares, - "SOMEONE WHO CARES,"
YES,
WE'LL GIVE HIM THE THAI AND THE CAKE,
I SAY "WE," BUT IT COULD JUST AS EASILY BE "I,"
YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T DELIVER, YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE,
YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T DELIVER, YOU HAVEN'T GOT THE GOODS!
- DEAL? - ( chuckles )
DEAL,
LOOK LIKE DEATH,
FEEL LIKE DEATH,
WHAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD?
MUSIC,
Man: You're listening to KHFM,
I'm Felix Chester with the Memory Mix on 99,9,
( smooth jazz music playing )
Where does it hurt you, baby?
MM, MY GUTS AND MY BRAIN,
I hear you,
- YOU HEAR ME? - Now hear this,
- ( piano music playing ) - MM, I'M LISTENING,
( sighs )
* BROKEN FRAMES *
* SO DARK INSIDE *
* FACES MISMATCHED *
* TRICKLE UP IN A LINE *
* WAVES OF SHADOWS *
* SCATTERED DREAMS *
* WHERE ARE YOU? *
* TRYING TO FIND *
* WHAT DO I SEE? *
( horn squeaking )
* PICTURES THAT RHYME, COLORS THAT BREATHE,,, *
GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE,
* I NEED TO *
* DISCOVER MORE *
* FIND WHERE I'VE BEEN *
* LET IMAGES POUR,,, *
WHEN DO I TAKE THESE?
DOESN'T SAY,
TWO,
( moans )
* PICTURES THAT RHYME *
* COLORS THAT BREATHE *
"POLICE,"
* TRYING TO FIND *
* WHAT DO I SEE? *
* PICTURES THAT RHYME, COLORS THAT BREATHE,,, *
- Man: ALICE? - DAD,
,,,CUT THE TRIP SHORT,
SORRY, I'VE HAD TO, SORRY,
CUT TRIP SHORT, SORRY,
- Alice: DAD, - SORRY, DEAR,
I'VE HAD TO CUT THE TRIP SHORT,
BOARD MEETING, BOARD MEETING IN NEW YORK,
DAD,,,
DAD, I THINK WE BOTH KNOW WHY WE'RE LEAVING EARLY,
I THINK WE BOTH KNOW WHY WE'RE LEAVING EARLY,
DAD,,, DAD, I'M SORRY,
I'M SORRY,
AFTER HER,
( Indian music playing )
( news music playing )
More on tonight's kidnap story,
Police have launched a nationwide search
for Alice Dodgson, 19,
who was brutally snatched from a London street this evening,
Billionaire Louis Dodgson has posted a $10 million reward
for the return of his daughter,
Eyewitness reports say she was bundled into a black cab,
BILLIONAIRE'S DAUGHTER, ( chuckles )
Whitey: WHOO-HOO!
( phone beeping )
( groans )
"POLICE,"
NINE NINE NINE,
- Woman: Emergency, - YES, UM,,,
I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT THAT I'M,,, SICK
AND MY HEAD'S SPINNING AND I GOT SICK
AND, UM, I'M VERY LOST,
Whereabouts are you calling from?
YES, UM, I'M IN A PHONE BOOTH AT A BUS STOP,
- Your name? - MY NAME?
- SORRY, I DON'T KNOW, - Have you taken drugs?
HAVE I TAKEN SOME DRUGS?
- YES YES, - ( speaking indistinctly )
UM,,,
GREAT,
CHEERIO, TA TA, WEETIES,
Bye,
STUPID COUNTRY,
( horn honks )
WHAT YOU LOOKING FOR?
UH, A PICK-ME-UP?
FINE, THREE, FIVE, AND TWO, SIX, AND ONE,
LUCKY I IS HERE NOW
BEFORE DELIVERY IS DONE,
WHAT, MISTER,,,
DROP THE MISTER, SEE THIS EYE?
I'M NO 'PILLAR, I'M A CAT,
POST MAN CHILLER IS WHERE I'M AT,
( snickers )
( siren wailing )
I THINK IT'S THE POLICE,
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - SAVING YOUR ASS FROM THE S,P,G,
THEM MOTHERS WILL LOCK YOU DOWN AND THROW AWAY THE KEY,
- BUT I-- I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING, - TELL IT TO THE JUDGE,
THE SENTENCE IS LIFE, AND IT DON'T BUDGE,
MY HOOKER, SHE'S A LOOKER,
HIT ME SCRATCH AND I EVEN LET YOU,
- PLEASED TO MEET YOU, - POLICEMAN HERE IS NOT TO BE TRUSTED,
STEP OUT OF LINE AND POW,
YOU IS BUSTED, ( snickering )
Whitey: I CAN'T SPEND IT, CAN'T SPEND IT,
TWO ON A VILLA IN MAJORCA, ONE ON A BOAT, ANOTHER MILL ON MOTORS,
A BOX AT THE MIGHTY HAMMERS, ( laughs )
I CAN'T SPEND IT, I CAN'T SPEND IT,
- WHERE TO, BABE? - UH, LONDON,
A CABBIE SAID HE'D TAKE ME, BUT THEN HE DISAPPEARED,
HE DIDN'T SEEM HONEST, AND HE ISN'T, AS I FEARED,
INFECTED WITH A RHYME, CHECK IT OUT NOW DOWNTOWN,
( tires screech )
NEXT DROP: LLOYD STREET, NUMBER 31,
TWO FIRST CLASS FOR A JOHN NAMED JOHN,
IT SEEMS A LITTLE LATE TO DELIVER THE POST,
AU CONTRAIRE, NOW IS WHEN FOLKS NEED IT MOST,
BABY, YOU GOT EMAIL,
OH, YOU SELL DRUGS?
- AIN'T A LIE, - NOT A PILL ON THE PLANET
I DON'T KNOW AND YOU CAN'T BUY,
OH WELL, THESE DON'T SEEM TO BE WORKING,
AND I NEED TO GET MY MEMORY BACK FROM WHERE IT IS LURKING,
FOR YOUR HEAD, BITCH, THAT'S A HEAVY POP,
YOU'D BETTER SEE A DOC BEFORE YOU OPEN UP THE TOP,
BUT I'VE ALREADY TAKEN ONE,
OR HAVE I TAKEN TWO?
I CAN'T REMEMBER OLD STUFF,
AND NOW I CAN'T REMEMBER NEW,
( snickering )
( siren chirping )
THINK YOURSELF SMART, I WISH IT WAS ME,
TAKE FOR YOUR HEAD AND BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE,
NO, BUT HOW CAN I BE WHO I WANT TO BE WHEN I AM WHO I AM?
WHEN MEMORIES COME BACK, SOME YOU KEEP AND SOME YOU TRASH IN THE CAN,
YOU'VE BEEN DEALT THE CARDS, JUST REARRANGE THE DEAL,
WE PICK YOU UP ONE, WE DROP YOU DOWN TWO,
IF I GET TO THE PARTY, MY DRIVER'S INSIDE,
NO ACCESS TO THE PARTY WITHOUT AN INVITATION,
- WHERE CAN I GET ONE? - I KNOW JUST THE LOCATION,
( snickers )
FUCK!
Alice: WOW! COOL,
THANKS FOR THE RIDE,
BUMP THE DUCHESS WHEN YOU MEET HER INSIDE,
CIAO FROM THE HYDROPONIC BONNIE AND CLYDE, ( clicks tongue )
( doorbell rings )
HELLO,
Hi,
HELLO, I'M LOOKING FOR THE DUCHESS,
( staff shouting )
( Alice sighs )
I ORDERED OXTAIL,
not mulligatawny-- yuck!
( huffs ) Too spicy,
Well, what are you doing at my desk?
I'M TRYING TO GET TO THE PARTY,
AH YES, I'VE BEEN INVITED, BUT I SHAN'T GO,
Why not?
I LIKE MY HEAD WHERE IT IS-- ON MY SHOULDERS,
The invitation is yours in exchange for one thing:
knowledge,
OF WHAT?
Of you,
BUT,,,
LOOK, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME,
OOH, YOU MAKE MY GOSSIP NOSE TWITCH
LIKE FRESHLY PEPPERED SOUP,
It is you who has cameras everywhere, isn't it?
EYES, DARLING, EYES,
SO, WHY WOULD AN INCONSEQUENCE LIKE YOU
WANT TO GO TO SOME AWFUL DO?
WHITEY WILL BE THERE,
I NEED HIM, HE OWES ME A RIDE HOME,
- AND WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT HOME? - Home?
- I can't think, - THEN DON'T,
Slither into your subconscious,
your subterranean brain,
What comes into your mind?
HORSES,
What about your family, hmm? Siblings?
BOYFRIEND?
MY HEAD'S SPINNING, I FORGET,
I was going to meet my mom,
and then I got hit by a taxi, and now--
T,B,I,-- TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY, YEAH,
Caused by falls, blows to the head,
AND MOST COMMONLY, ROAD ACCIDENTS,
( clicks tongue ) YEAH, TO YOUR RIGHT,
Excellent, Yes yes,
IT'S AS PLAIN AS THE FACE ON YOUR NOSE--
COMPLETE COGNITIVE CRASH HERE IN THE TEMPORAL LOBE,
THE MEDIAL THALAMUS AND THE ORBITAL FRONTAL LOBE,
IS THAT BAD?
Well, there are signs of improvement,
YOU'RE TAKING PILLS?
FOR MY HEAD,
GOOD,
What is all that?
THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT YOU KNOW,
But none of them make any sense,
THE MIND IS A MAZE OF MEMORIES AND KNOWLEDGE,
BUT HOW WILL I EVER UN-JUMBLE IT ALL?
You can't unravel the complex
until you have mastered the most simple,,,
STARTING WITH,,,
WHO AM I?
Top drawer on the right,
Yes, follow the red lights,
Red means "Go," Goodbye,
THANK YOU,
- PAINT THE TOWN RED, - PAINT THE TOWN RED,
- HAVE YOU SEEN A GIRL,
20, BLOND HAIR, FIT?
OH!
RED MEANS "GO,"
HEY, HEY, COME BACK,
( man laughing )
- I KNOW YOU, - OH,
( indistinct talking )
PAINTING THAT TOWN RED,
RED RED RED,
WHOO-WHOO!
FOLLOW ME,
PAINTING THAT TOWN RED,
RUNNING RUNNING RUNNING,
PLEASE COME BACK!
( sighs )
ALICE!
COME BACK,
- You ain't ready to leave, - WHO'S THERE?
DJ Felix on KHFM
saying stay tuned for essential platters,
minimum chatter, and circular sound sensations,
Circles circles--
we all move in circles,
THIS DOESN'T FEEL LIKE A CIRCLE,
We think we're going in a straight line,
but what goes around comes around,
IS THAT A RIDDLE?
What has no conditions but one condition?
That's a riddle,
IS THAT--
IS THAT MY RIDDLE?
It's my riddle, It's your answer,
Find it, and find yourself,
( horn honking )
HEY!
STOP!
( horns honking )
( indistinct chatter )
- ( gasps ) - WOW WOW WOW!
YUMMY YUMMY,
( sighs ) WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP?
BULB NEEDED CHANGING,
PAINTING THE TOWN RED,
- WAIT, WEREN'T YOU THE ONE WHO-- - WASN'T ME,
MAYBE YOU CAME ACROSS MY BROTHER,
YOU IS WELL BUFF,
YOU LOOKING FOR BUSINESS?
I'M-- I'M LOOKING FOR HEARTS NIGHTCLUB,
YOU'RE MILES AWAY,
WELL, I WAS HOPING I'D GET A RIDE,
FUCK A DUCK!
I'LL GIVE YOU THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE!
LADIES CALL ME "UFF"--
UN-FUCKING-FORGETTABLE,
AND IT AIN'T FOR MY LOOKS, EVEN THOUGH THEY IS IMPRESSIVE,
WAIT HERE, YEAH?
UN-F-FORGIVEABLE,
( chuckles )
( sighs )
I NEED TO REMEMBER MORE,
- Man: MILK! - Man #2: TEA!
- Man #3: SUGAR! - ( tea kettle whistling )
Caterpillar: FOR YOUR HEAD,
Hooker: TAKE FOR YOUR HEAD AND BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE,
Caterpillar: MAKE A CHOICE,
Woman: YOUR FATHER FLIES TO LONDON NEXT WEEK,
YOUR FATHER FLIES TO LONDON,
- MOM, - YOU SHOULD GO WITH HIM,
- HEAR YOUR INNER VOICE, - YOU SHOULD GO WITH HIM,
- POP OUT FOR TEA WITH THE QUEEN, - MEMORIES COME BACK,
SOME YOU KEEP AND SOME YOU TRASH IN THE CAN,
Louis: WE ONLY HAVE YOUR INTERESTS AT HEART,
I WANTED YOU TO MEET WOLFGANG,
MOM, FOR THE 100th TIME, I CAN FIND MY OWN DATES,
Bag lady: I KNEW A WOMAN WHO LIVED IN HULME STREET,
WHEN YOU GET HOME, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR HEAD STRAIGHTENED OUT,
- ,,,MEET WOLFGANG, - ,,,FIND MY OWN DATES,
I'M NOT SOME KIND OF COMMODITY,
YOU'RE A DODGSON AND WILL ACT ACCORDINGLY,
H-U-L-M-E, MY MOM USED TO LIVE THERE,
H-U-L-M-E,
WAKEY-WAKEY,
- CLASS, - ( wolf whistle )
WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR? IT'S DISGUSTING,
AH, DISGUST IS WHAT WE LIKE IN A GIRL,
NOW A BIT OF FRENCH IS HANDY,
AND YOU GET DOUBLE IF YOU DO GREEK,
DISGUSTING IS WHY YOU'RE UP FOR THE JOB,
MY LITTLE STRAWBERRY TART,
NO, THERE-- THERE MUST BE SOME MISUNDERSTANDING,
I DON'T NEED A JOB, I'M JUST PASSING THROUGH,
YOU'LL PASS THROUGH WHEN YOU'VE PAID YOUR DUES,
TOP HAIRDO LIKE THAT'S NOT CHEAP, HUH?!
10-4, HATTIE TO EARL GREY, DO YOU COPY?
- ROGERED AND OUT, OIL CHANGE, - MOVE UP, COME ON,
Woman: Roger that, Roll in, over and out,
DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED INSIDE YOU
BEFORE YOU GET ANYTHING ELSE INSIDE YOU?
- A NICE CUP OF TEA, - I DON'T DRINK TEA,
WHAT?!
NO TEA!
WHERE DID THEY DRAG YOU FROM, MARS?
Earl Grey to Hattie, next trucker, please, Keep them coming,
FENBURTON'S HOTEL, LONDON,
PERMANENT RESIDENCE: HAMPTONS, LONG ISLAND,
NEW YORK, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,
YES, CALM DOWN, I KNOW WHERE THAT IS,
LISTEN, I-- I JUST NEED TO GET TO HARRY'S,
- SO IF-- - HARRY? HARRY HUNT?
( laughs ) THERE'S A CHARMER!
OH, HARRY HUNT!
YOU KNOW WHAT HIS FAVORITE COLOR IS?
- RED, - YEAH, BLOOD RED,
A PROPER PSYCHO IS HARRY,
OTHER THAN THAT, HE'S SOUND,
APART FROM BEING A COMPLETE PSYCHO,
HEY, I'M SORRY, I JUST DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS,
OH NO, YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT, TIME IS MONEY,
AND YOUR TIME IS MY TIME, SO GET UP AND GET EARNING,
WHAT?
WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?
- A TART PARK, - A GREASY SPOONANI,
MY MOBILE BROTHEL,
YEAH, AND I'M FIRST UP, DIBS,
NO DIBS,
( laughter )
Earl Grey to Hattie, next silly trucker,
10-4, HATTIE TO EARL GREY,
ROGERED AND OUT, DO YOU COPY?
- OIL CHANGE, - NICE,
GET OFF ME, LISTEN, UM,,,
I NEED TO GET TO HEARTS, CAN ANYONE GIVE ME A RIDE?
- Men: ME! - READ THE SIGN,
THERE'S ONLY ONE MADAM HERE, MADAM,
BREAK HER IN, DON'T BE GENTLE,
- YEAH, NICE, - WHAT?
- COME ON, - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET OFF,
- MOVE MOVE, - GOD!
GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!
( funk music playing )
LET GO OF ME! GET YOUR HANDS OFF!
EASY,
SEEN MORE MEAT ON A BUDGIE'S COCK,
IN,
NICE,
IN THE NUDDY,
NOW,
WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?
( woman moaning )
( woman moaning on TV )
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - TAKING MY CLOTHES OFF,
NICE,
Announcer: Distress call from an American girl to the police
has been positively identified
- as kidnapped heiress Alice Dodgson, - ASS,
HUH?
Detective Superintendent Melchit has described the search
- as the force's top priority, - DOUBLE ASS,
Scotland Yard has released a tape
thought to be the voice of her kidnapper,
Whitey's voice: If you're missing a girl, call this number: 004477,,,
HE'S RESTING, BLEW HIS MIND,
- FUCK! - THREE MINUTES, THAT'S THE RULE,
OKAY,
- ( engine starts ) - WHAT'S GOING ON?
( all screaming )
- OH, - JESUS CHRIST,
( gears grinding )
( all screaming )
OKAY, NICE AND EASY, LIVE ANIMALS IN THE BACK,
( screams ) OH, SHIT!
NICE!
- OI! - ( tires screeching )
OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR,
GET THE HELL DOWN! CAN'T SEE OUT,
- SLOW DOWN! - ( horn blaring )
- JUMP DOWN! - SLOW DOWN!
( shouting )
( horn honking )
WHITEY?
WHITEY,
- JUMP, - DON'T JUMP, OPEN THE WINDOW,
OPEN THE DOOR,
OH, BUGGER,
STEADY,
- STEADY, - DON'T DO IT,
JUMP,
- ( Alice laughing ) - GOOD GIRL,
Man: NICE!
( laughing ) WE DID IT!
OH GOD, WE DID IT,
- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR HAIR? - WHAT?
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR HAIR?
I NEARLY DIED AND YOU ASK ME ABOUT MY HAIR,
IF I HADN'T HAD MENTIONED IT, YOU WOULD HAVE SULKED,
YOU PEOPLE ARE INSANE,
IT'S IN THE BREEDING,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ANYWAY?
YOU DUMPED ME AT A COACH STOP, REMEMBER?
THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT,
AND I WENT BACK TO FIND YOU AND YOU'D GONE,
AND I COULDN'T LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE AND HELPLESS,
- I HAD TO FIND YOU, - REALLY?
I HAVEN'T GOT NO TIME TO TELL LIES,
IT'S NOT IN MY NATURE,
YOU'RE A V,I,P,-- YOU'RE A VERY IMPORTANT PASSENGER,
I'M IMPORTANT?
I'VE BEEN SPEEDING MY TITS OFF
TO FIND YOU, MY BEAUTIFUL ALICE,
MY,,, * IF YOU'RE HAPPY
AND YOU KNOW IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS *,,, ALICE,
ALICE?
( faucet running )
MY NAME IS ALICE,
YEAH WELL, THAT'S BETWEEN YOU AND ME, DON'T GO SHOUTING ABOUT IT,
DO YOU REALLY THINK THEY'RE FOLLOWING US?
NOT YET, LOCK THE DOOR,
WHAT HAPPENS IF THEY DO FIND US?
LET ME THINK, I JUST NEED TIME TO GET MY HEAD STRAIGHT,
YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY THINK I FEEL BAD ABOUT THE LADIES ON THE TRUCK,
WHAT'S A FEW TARTS BETWEEN FRIENDS?
WHEN WORD GETS OUT WHO YOU ARE,
THE WHOLE WORLD AND HIS WIFE WILL BE BANGING ON THAT DOOR,
- CAN'T WE JUST CALL THE POLICE? - THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, YEAH,
I'D REALLY LIKE 15 TO 20 FOR KIDNAPPING,
WE COULD TELL THEM A STORY,
WE COULD SAY THAT YOU RESCUED ME,
MY WHITEY KNIGHT,
A WITNESS FINGERED ME,
NOW I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME ONE MINUTE,
JUST ONE MINUTE'S QUIET, JUST ONE MINUTE,
THAT'S 60 SECONDS, YEAH? SHH,
ALICE,
I DON'T KNOW WHY I THOUGHT I HAD A MORE UNUSUAL NAME,
LIKE TABITHA OR ELECTRA,
I SAID 60, NOT SIX,
- YOU'RE A SLAVE TO TIME, - I'M A SLAVE TO NOTHING,
YOU WEAR TWO WATCHES, THEY'RE YOUR SHACKLES,
FREE YOURSELF,
HE'S WILLING TO PAY $10 MILLION FOR ME,
- HE MUST LOVE ME, - LOVE DOESN'T COME INTO IT,
THIS IS BUSINESS,
YOU DON'T KNOW MY FATHER,
AND YOU DO?
GOT TO GET US OUT,
BUT THERE'LL BE CREWS ON EVERY ROAD WAITING FOR US,
YOU DO STAND OUT IN YOUR LONDON CAB,
YOU'RE NOT AS MENTAL AS YOU ACT,
COUPLE OF EASY STEALS DOWN THERE,
I'M GONNA GO CHECK THEM OUT,
HERE,
IF THESE ARE SHACKLES, WE'RE SHACKLED TOGETHER--
YOU AND ME,
ME AND YOU,
GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES, 10 MINUTES TOPS,
YOU CAN TIME ME, I'M TAKING YOU BACK,
BECAUSE OF THE REWARD MONEY?
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I PROMISED,
I'M LOCKING YOU IN,
( grunting )
- ( clicks ) - ( laughs )
- BINGO! - ( birds chirping )
( man speaking Spanish on TV )
,,,how grateful we are to the British police
for their unstinting efforts in trying to trace our daughter
and to bring her kidnappers to justice,
I'm afraid I cannot comment for obvious reasons,
WHAT DO I REMEMBER?
Dodgson Industries is putting up
a $10 million reward
for any information leading to the safe return of our daughter,
$10 million reward,
( reporters clamoring )
Please, you must understand
that this is a very distressing time
for Mrs, Dodgson and myself
and a difficult time for Dodgson Industries,
REMEMBER REMEMBER,
DAD,,,
Mom: YOUR FATHER FLIES TO LONDON NEXT WEEK,
- I'VE HIRED A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR, - THAT'S GOOD, DEAR,
Whitey: YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE,,,
DAD, SOMETHING CAME UP, DAD,,,
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU AND MOM LIVED HERE IN LONDON?
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN I WAS BORN?
,,,MOM LIVED HERE IN LONDON,
Louis: I REALLY DO NEED TO STUDY THESE,
DAD, SOMETHING CAME UP,
I THINK SHE MAY HAVE FOUND OUT,
I REALLY DO HAVE TO STUDY THESE,
I KNEW A WOMAN WHO LIVED IN HULME STREET,
YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, SO YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE NOT,
IF YOU'RE MISSING A GIRL, CALL THIS NUMBER:
004477887900,,,
Gonzo: YES, I'LL HAVE HER WITH YOU IN 10 MINUTES, HARRY,
NO NO, MY PLEASURE,
YEAH, ANYTHING FOR YOU, HARRY, YOU KNOW THAT,
( laughs ) YEAH,
ARE WE-- OH, HE'S GONE,
YEAH, ONCE ME AND HARRY SPLIT THAT 10 MILL--
- OR MORE,,, - ( man farts )
I MEAN, REALLY, WHAT-- WHAT LIMIT
- TO A FATHER'S LOVE FOR HIS COOCHY-COOCHY GIRL, EH? - ( men farting )
$15 MILL? $20 MILL?
HEH, NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US,
- WHERE'S WHITEY? - WHITEY?
HE'S OUT,,,
WITH THE FAIRIES, ( laughs )
- ( tires screeching ) - OOH,
WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?
BROOOOM,
THE POLICE ARE LOOKING FOR ME, YOU KNOW,
YEAH, AND IF YOU STEP OUT OF LINE,
THEY MIGHT FIND A PIECE,
WHAT SHOULD IT BE, DO YOU THINK, ALICE?
EH? HUH? AN EAR? HMM, LITTLE PINKY?
DON'T PLAY PIANO, DO YOU? ( laughs )
GONZO, ( growls )
Alice: YOU WON'T SEE ANY MONEY,
WHEN WHITEY CATCHES UP, YOU WON'T EVEN SEE THE MORNING,
WHITEY,
PLEASE, ( laughs )
HE WOULDN'T RISK A HAIR ON HIS ASS FOR YOU,
THE MONEY, MAYBE, BUT NOT YOU,
Announcer: More on tonight's kidnap story,
Police have issued this Photofit picture of the kidnapper,
SEE, AT THE END OF THE DAY, ALICE,
US CHAPS-- WE'RE ALL THE SAME,
WE'RE ONLY IN IT FOR WHAT WE CAN GET OUT,
HE'S DIFFERENT,
OH, YOU HAVE BEEN STARVED OF AFFECTION, HAVEN'T YOU? HMM?
WHAT, DADDY NOT SHOWN YOU ENOUGH LOVE, HMM?
DON'T WORRY, WE'LL MAKE HIM PAY,
GET THE CAKE, GET IT ON THE ROOF RIGHT NOW,
AND WHERE'S MY GIRL?
( dance music playing )
Man: COME ON, MATE, LET US IN,
YOU'VE GOTTA LET US IN, I'M ON THE GUEST LIST,
- NO JEANS, - NO ACNE,
- NO TRAINERS, - I'M HIS COUSIN,
- NO GOATEES, - SECOND COUSIN,
- NO PIERCED NOSES,,, - EYEBROWS,,,
- BELLYBUTTONS,,, - BELL-ENDS,,,
GUYS, WE'RE COLLECTING FOR THE R,S,P,C,A,
NO TWATS IN COMBATS,
- I REALLY NEED THE LOO, - HAVE YOU SEEN MY FRIEND?
- HAS SHE GONE INSIDE? - NOBODY WITH A NAME
THAT CAN BE SHORTENED TO AN A-Z CONTRACTION,,,
- LIKE GAZ, - OR DAZ,
ALL RIGHT, LADS? YEAH, I'M A FILM DIRECTOR,
AND I CAN REALLY SEE YOU IN MY NEXT MOVIE,
NO?
- NO PUFFS,,, - SHIRT-LIFTERS,,,
- RUMP RANGERS,,, - CHUTNEY FERRETS,,,
- ASS BANDITS,,, - SAUSAGE JOCKEYS,,,
- FUDGE PACKERS,,, - UPHILL GARDENERS,,,
BOWLERS FROM THE PAVILION END,
- NO ENTRY, - NO WAY,
- IS REX HERE? - NO CHANCE,
GENTLEMEN,
YEAH, COME ON,
( dance music playing )
AFTER YOU,
- GET LOST, - NO WAY,
- FUCK OFF, - REX, WE'VE DONE WHAT YOU'VE SAID,
NONE OF THEM WHAT'S LIGHT ON THEIR FEET IS GETTING IN,
SLIGHT MISINTERPRETATION OF POLICY,
NOBODY'S FAULT,
BUT YOU CAN LET THE ALTERNATIVE CROWD IN NOW,
- THE SEMEN SUPPERS? - HARRY'S ORDERS,
THAT'S A QUEER DECISION, IF YOU ASK ME,
RIGHT, ALL YOU FAIRIES,
HELLO, HARRY,
LOOKS LIKE SALE OF THE CENTURY IN HERE,
- NICE PRESENTS, - NO PEEKING,
WOULDN'T DREAM,
YES, THANK YOU,
I'VE GOT SOME LOVELY NEW GIFTS,
SMART MOTOR FROM JIMMY THREE-CHINS,
VERY NICE NEW GAFF FROM MOHAMMED EIGHT AND HIS SEVEN BROTHERS,
A RATHER PRECOCIOUS LITTLE FILLY FROM ONE-BALL BARRY,
THIS,,,
THIS LITTLE BEAUTY
TAKES THE BISCUIT,
THIS IS THE ONE,
THE ONE WHO'S MISSING,
ALICE,
YOU MUST LET ME KNOW WHO DOES YOUR NAILS,
- FOR GOD'S SAKE, - COME SIT WITH ME,
$10 MILLION? I WOULDN'T PAY $10 FOR IT,
SHAME THOSE BOYS ON THE DOOR HAVE TO SHARE THE ONE BRAIN,
IT'S FILLING UP NICELY, A VERY COLORFUL CROWD,
THANK YOU, REX, ALICE,
WHAT, NO NICKNAME?
FORMERLY "REX THE EXECUTIONER,"
IT'S MURDER NOW HE'S RETIRED,
( laughs ) REX KILLED THEM WITH KINDNESS,
ALWAYS THE GENT, ANY OTHER LINE OF WORK, HE'D HAVE BEEN KNIGHTED,
SO, SHALL WE GO OVER MY DEAL?
I THINK YOU'LL FIND IT'S MY DEAL, GENTLEMEN,
PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT, YOU'LL SOON BE HOME WITH DADDY,
NO JOKERS, NO WILDS, THIS IS A THREE-CARD TRICK,
ONE--
I CALL THE OLD MAN AND UP THE ANTE,
$20 MILLION, I THINK, DOUBLE OR QUITS,
TWO-- MONEY GOES INTO MY OFFSHORE ACCOUNT
AND I PAY OUT ALL THE PLAYERS,
WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA, 50/50, HARRY,
- LIKE WE SAID, YEAH? - THAT'S RIGHT,
60 FOR ME, 40 FOR EVERYONE ELSE,
AND THREE--
ALICE GOES HOME, ( laughs )
- QUESTIONS? - WHAT IF HE CAN'T COME UP WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY?
REX COMES OUT OF RETIREMENT,
AND WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME?
THEN THIS WILL BE YOUR LEAVING PARTY--
LEAVING THIS MORTAL COIL,
WELL, IF IT IS TO BE MY LAST NIGHT,
I WOULD WANT IT TO BE A BETTER ONE THAN ANY OTHER,
I DON'T GET OUT VERY OFTEN,
ME NEITHER,
ONCE EVERY 10 YEARS, ( laughing )
THEN, IF IT'S ALL THE SAME TO YOU,
I'LL GET A DRINK DOWNSTAIRS,
ON THE HOUSE, MY DEAR,
HARRY! HARRY, THIS, UH-- THIS DEAL,,,
THE 70/30, YES,
WELL, WE'LL HAMMER OUT THE DETAILS
OF THE 80/20 LATER, SHALL WE?
- UH, BUT,,, - ( laughter )
WHAT DO I LIKE?
HI, COULD I GET A WHITE WINE, PLEASE?
A CHABLIS,
IT'S NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY, IS IT?
- MINE'S JULY 19th, - AND ME,
WHERE'S GONZO?
A BIG CAKE FOR THE BIG MAN,
MM,
I AM PARTIAL TO A SLICE OF CHERRY GENOA,
THIS ONE'S GOT A DIFFERENT KIND OF CHERRY,
SHE SAID YOU WERE GETTING HIM A TIE,
BUT A CAKE? THAT'S EVEN WORSE,
( chuckles ) WHAT A FUCKING SPONGEBOB,
I'M SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY, HARRY,
IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO LOCATE YOUR FAVORITE FILLING,
- YOUR THAI, - Harry: THAI,
VERY GOOD,
BUT YOU DO KNOW I'M A BACHELOR OF THE ASS NOW?
( chuckles )
SHE'S GOT A SAUSAGE,
- AND TATERS, - SWEETHEART,
YOU'RE NOT KEEPING IT, ARE YOU?
I MEAN, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S BEEN,
WHEN I WANT YOUR OPINION, JACK, I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU,
IT'S NOT JACK, IT'S JACQUI,
OR JACQUELINE FOR POSH,
VERY NICE, MY CAB-DRIVING FRIEND,
BUT THE DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE,
LESSONS NEED TO BE LEARNED,
WHAT IS IT WE HAVE TO DO TO ALL GET ALONG, HMM?
( men chuckling )
SHARE AND SHARE ALIKE,
WHAT'S YOURS IS MINE, HMM?
WHERE'S THIS GOING?
FOR YOU, THE CEMETERY,
LITTLE SERVICE DOWN AT SAINT MARY'S,
ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL,
SAME OLD GONZO, SAME OLD LIABILITY,
( laughs ) OH YEAH,
WHEN HE POPS YOU, TRY NOT TO BLEED ON MY SUIT,
IT'S LABELED,
Whitey: GONZO DIDN'T TELL YOU?
TELL ME WHAT?
OLD FATHER WILLIAM KNOWS ALICE IS IN TOWN,
THE OLD BILL KNOWS SHE'S HERE?
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, HARRY,
MY PRIORITY WAS TO SECURE THE GIRL OUTSIDE YOUR TURF,
KEEP YOU CLEAN, THEN GET YOU TO CUT THE DEAL,
WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE YOU?
A $10 MILLION REWARD'S WELL OUT OF MY LEAGUE,
ANY FOOL CAN SEE THAT,
ONLY YOU CAN PULL OFF A BIG ONE, HARRY,
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE,
YOU BROUGHT HER TO MY GAFF KNOWING I'D BE FINGERED?
( laughing )
HARRY, HE'S LYING,
IF THERE'S A BILLY IN THIS ROOM, IT'S YOU,
WELL, I'LL TAKE HER AWAY,
I DIDN'T KNOW THE GOODS WAS HOT,
OH, GONZO,
THAT REALLY IS A NICE SUIT,
- ( gunshot ) - ( laughter )
BAD DAY?
MY DANCE PARTNER'S GOT A RASH
FROM A CHEAP BIKINI WAX,
LEAVING ME HIGH AND DRY FOR TONIGHT,
MY LOTTERY NUMBERS CAME UP ON THE ONE DAY I DIDN'T GET MY TICKET,
AND EVEN IF I DID CHEAT WITH A RULER,
MY JOHN THOMAS IS,,,
WELL UNDER THE NATIONAL AVERAGE,
CAN'T TANGO SOLO,
I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU DANCE,
I DON'T REMEMBER,
WELL, IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU'D FORGET,
IT'S A LONG STORY,
I'VE GOT ALL NIGHT,
WELL, YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, I DON'T,
BUT I WILL SAY IF I'M GOING TO DIE,
I'M GOING TO DIE KNOWING WHO I AM
AND WHO I WANTED TO BE,
HERE HERE!
Mom: YOUR FATHER FLIES TO LONDON,
MOM, I CAN FIND MY OWN DATES,
Mom: YOU'RE A DODGSON,
We only have your interests at heart,
DAD, SOMETHING CAME UP,
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN I WAS BORN?
Felix: "H,"
This is a distressing time for Mrs, Dodgson,
"U,"
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU AND MOM LIVED HERE IN LONDON?
"L,"
- PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR, - "M,"
Griffin: WHAT'S IN HERE MAY CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER,
"E,"
THIS ALICE,,,
SHE'S TROUBLE,
I CAN SORT IT FOR YOU,
AND I WAS HAVING SUCH A NICE TIME!
- LET ME GET RID OF HER, - THAT'S THE BEST IDEA I'VE HEARD ALL EVENING,
NO QUESTIONS-- I WANT HER DISAPPEARED, PROFESSIONAL,
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, - IT'S WHAT I MEAN WHAT MATTERS!
SHE'S VALUABLE,
OH MY DEAR, YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, DO YOU?
KIDNAPPING-- IT'S NOT RIGHT,
WE SHOULD STICK TO WHAT WE KNOW, AND I KNOW ABOUT ROBBING BANKS,
$10 MILLION WOULD SET US UP FOR LIFE,
HERE, HOW'S THIS?
I GET THE REWARD, PUT IT IN A BANK,
YOU ROB THE BANK,
DON'T YOU GET CLEVER,
YOU HAVEN'T GOT THE BRAINS TO MESS WITH ME OR THE MONEY,
I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT MONEY,
I PAY GOOD MONEY FOR PROTECTION, SO WHERE IS IT?
HATTIE, SWEETHEART, TONE, PLEASE,
COME HERE, TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED,
SHE NICKED MY GIRLS, HMM?
PINCHED MY PROSSIES, STOLE MY TARTS,
I WANT JUSTICE,
- THIEF! - ( gunfire )
( crowd screaming )
I'LL TAKE CARE OF HER, HARRY,
- I'LL DO HER RIGHT, YOU'LL SEE, - TOO LATE,
TART LARCENY IS A SERIOUS OFFENSE, I NEED TO SET AN EXAMPLE,
REX! TRIAL,
- WHITEY! - A TRIAL,
WHITEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT TRIAL?
WHITEY, COUNSEL FOR THE ACCUSED,
- REX, PROSECUTION, EVERYONE ELSE, THE JURY, - ( crowd cheering )
ALICE DEAR, BEST OF BRITISH LUCK, EH?
AM I GOING TO NEED IT?
COUNSEL FOR THE DEFENSE IS NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK,
SO TECHNICALLY, YES,
- CHARGES? - YEAH,
ONE THEFT OF TRUCK CONTAINING SIX PRIME PROSTITUTES
AND NON-PAYMENT OF HAIRDRESSING FEES,
HOW DO YOU PLEAD?
I PLEAD DIMINISHED RESPONSIBILITY,
( laughs ) DIMINISHED WHAT?
RESPONSIBILITY, YEAH,
SHE WAS WRONG IN THE HEAD,
OBJECTION, DEFENSE HAS SPOKEN,
- SHE'S OFF HER HEAD, - COMPLETELY--
DAMAGED THE MEDIAL TEMPORAL LOBE, CAUSED BY HIS CAB,
I'M SUING FOR DAMAGES, HE SHOULD BE OFF THE STREETS AND BEHIND BARS,
- WHAT? - DEFENSE SPOKE AGAIN,
CONTEMPT OF COURT!
THROW HIM OUT,
- WAIT, PLEASE, - DO HER!
- SURELY HE CAN-- - DO HER!
DO NOT, LOOK, I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR LADIES,
BUT MY HEAD WAS IN PIECES,
INSANITY IS NOT A PLEA; IT'S A WAY OF LIFE,
EVERYONE AROUND HERE IS A CARD SHORT,
SENTENCE IS PASSED, REX!
CAN I CALL A WITNESS?
I'M NOT SURE THAT YOU CAN,
WELL, THEN YOU'RE NOT SO SURE I CAN'T,
DEFENDANT CALLS TO THE STAND,,,
( overlapping voices )
Circles circles-- we all move in circles,
DEFENDANT CALLS FELIX CHESTER,
PERMISSION TO SPEAK PRIVATELY,,, WITH MY GIRL?
GRANTED,
THIS IS ALL ABOUT TIME,
EXCEPT I HAVEN'T GOT ANY LEFT FOR ONE OF YOUR RIDDLES,
IF YOU HAD BEEN A FEW SECONDS EARLIER,
THAT CAB WOULDN'T HAVE HIT YOU,
I CAN GIVE YOU BACK THE TIME YOU LOST,
THE PART THAT MADE A DIFFERENCE,
SUCH AS?
YOU WERE RUNNING, YOU WERE FREE,
YOU HEARD A VOICE-- THE BAG LADY--
YOU STOPPED TO GIVE HER MONEY, BUT TIME TICKED ON,
JUST 15 SECONDS,
I CAN GIVE YOU THEM BACK,
TRUST ME-- I'M A D,J,
( Harry claps )
TIME'S UP,
JUST SAY WHEN,
Rex: ACCUSED MAY ADDRESS THE COURT
BEFORE SENTENCE IS CARRIED OUT,
( Harry laughing )
YOU THINK YOU'RE SO TOUGH,
KING OF THE UNDERWORLD, BUT REALLY,
YOU'RE NOTHING BUT AN OLD QUEEN, WHEN!
( shouting )
RUN, TWO, THREE,
WHITEY!
- AFTER HER! - WHAT?
RUN RUN!
- RUN! - ( crowd screaming )
FASTER,
- ( Harry laughing ) - NO!
NO,
DON'T DIE, I WON'T LET YOU DIE,
I'M ALL OUT OF TIME,
NO, I WON'T LET YOU DIE, I WON'T,
- Felix: ALICE, - 15 SECONDS,
I HAVE 15 SECONDS,
RUN,
TOLD YOU YOU'D GET IT BACK,
- WHAT? - THE TIME,
Alice's voice: JUST 15 SECONDS,
Felix: I CAN GIVE YOU THEM BACK,
- SEE YOU AGAIN, - Felix: RUN,
- WAIT! - ( tires screeching )
OI, BIRD, MOVE,
- I DON'T BELIEVE THIS, - ( honks horn )
LOOK AT THE TIME, I'M LATE ON THE LEFT,
I'M LATE-- WHERE'S MY WATCH?
HOW'D YOU DO THAT?
( sirens blaring )
SHUT UP AND LISTEN, I DON'T HAVE LONG, YOUR NAME IS WHITEY,
YOU'RE ON THE WAY TO THE COAST TO PICK UP A THAI LADY-BOY
AS A GIFT FOR HARRY HUNT,
ONLY YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THE DELIVERY AND WIND UP DEAD,
I KNOW, I WAS THERE, MY NAME IS ALICE DODGSON,
LOOK, MY DAD'S A BILLIONAIRE,
IS THIS SOME SHITTY ENGLISH VERSION OF "PUNK'D"?
HE CONTROLS MY WHOLE LIFE, AND NOW HE WANTS TO MARRY ME OFF TO SOME GERMAN SCHMUCK,
SO I HAVE TO BREAK AWAY NOW OR I MIGHT NEVER GET THE CHANCE AGAIN,
JUST SLOW DOWN, BABY, JUST SLOW DOWN,
HE WILL POST A $10 MILLION REWARD FOR MY RETURN,
WE CAN FIND A WAY TO GET THE MONEY AND GET AWAY,
"WE"?
YOU CHOOSE-- $10 MILLION AND ME NOW
OR DEAD AT THE SEASIDE LATER,
TICK TOCK, TICK TOCK,
- DEAD? - TOES UP,
OR $10 MILLION?
ROUGHLY FIVE MILLION OF YOUR CUTE BRITISH POUNDS,
GET IN,
IF THIS IS A STITCH-UP, YOU'D BETTER HAVE A GOOD PLASTIC SURGEON,
I THINK THERE'S A BOTTLE FOR YOUR NERVES IN YOUR BAG DOWN THERE,
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE SOME TO CALM DOWN,
WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU?
I'M THE GIRL WHO SAVED YOUR LIFE,
NOW LET'S GO AND SORT OUT MINE,
UM,,,
I'M LOOKING FOR A WOMAN WHO LIVED HERE ABOUT 20 YEARS AGO,
MY MOTHER,
SO,,, MY MOTHER JUST SOLD ME?
I REMEMBER HER HAVING THE BABY-- YOU,
SHE NEVER KNEW THE FATHER,
OH,
THEY CAME AT NIGHT IN A FANCY CAR, THE AMERICANS,
THE WOMAN COULDN'T HAVE CHILDREN,
JUST TOLD THE PEOPLE IN AMERICA SHE WAS PREGNANT,,,
AND THEN BOUGHT YOU,
WHY ME?
YOU WERE WHITE, YOU WERE EASY,
NO RED TAPE, NO QUESTIONS, NO RECORDS, CASH DEAL,
- IT HAPPENS IN ENGLAND? - Whitey: IT HAPPENS ALL OVER, DARLING,
BUYER'S MARKET,
SHE DID THE BEST FOR YOU,
DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE WENT AFTER THAT?
SHE WENT OFF THE RAILS, DROWNED THE GUILT IN BOOZE,
TRIED TO KILL HERSELF,
DON'T BLAME HER,
IT LOOKS AS IF YOU'VE TURNED OUT ALL RIGHT,
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN HER SINCE?
YOU KNOW WHAT? I SEE HER EVERY DAY,
Announcer: Alice Dodgson, daughter of billionaire
American businessman Louis Dodgson,
is reported to have been abducted,
Police are giving few details of the circumstances of her disappearance,
and as yet no ransom demand has been received,
WE'RE HERE,
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY?
NEVER FELT BETTER,
CAN YOU JUST WAIT HERE?
THE METER'S RUNNING,
YEAH, HOW MUCH WILL $10 MILLION BUY ME?
FIVE, 10 MINUTES, WOULD HAVE THOUGHT,
OH,
SAID I'D SEE YOU AGAIN,
YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
NO,
I KNOW SOME THINGS, NOT ALL THINGS,
AND THAT'S A SHAME,
ARE YOU ANY GOOD WITH RIDDLES?
TRY ME,
WHAT'S GOT NO CONDITIONS BUT ONE CONDITION?
THAT TAKES ME BACK,
TO WHERE?
I WAS ABOUT YOUR AGE,
SHE WAS THE SWEETEST THING,
BUT I WASN'T,
I LOVED HER,
BUT SOMETIMES THAT'S NOT ENOUGH,
SOMETIMES IT'S EVERYTHING,
WHAT'S GOT NO CONDITIONS BUT ONE CONDITION?
LOVE,
AIN'T IT JUST?
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
MY NAME'S ALICE,
MY GIRL WAS CALLED ALICE,
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT A BIG HOTEL ROOM
WITH A KING-SIZED BED AND A LONG, HOT BATH?
AND ROOM SERVICE?
NAH,,,
I'VE GOT ALL I NEED HERE,
Felix: CIRCLES CIRCLES--
WE ALL MOVE IN CIRCLES,
( Betty Steeles's "Where Are You?" playing )
* BROKEN FRAMES *
* SO DARK INSIDE *
* FACES MISMATCHED *
* TRICKLE UP IN A LINE *
* WAVES OF SHADOWS *
* SCATTERED DREAMS *
* WHERE ARE YOU? *
* TRYING TO FIND *
* WHAT DO I SEE? *
* PICTURES THAT RHYME *
* COLORS THAT BREATHE *
* I NEED TO *
* DISCOVER MORE *
* FIND WHERE I'LL BE *
* LET IMAGES POUR *
* TRYING TO FIND *
* WHAT DO I SEE? *
* PICTURES THAT RHYME *
* COLORS THAT BREATHE *
* TRYING TO FIND *
* WHAT DO I SEE? *
* Where are you? *
* PICTURES THAT RHYME *
* COLORS THAT BREATHE, *
( vocalizing )
* HA-HA, YES, I KNOW, GIRL *
* BIG TITTIES, SMALL TITTIES, LITTLE ITTY BITTY TITTIES *
* ROUND TITTIES, FLAT TITTIES, CRAWFISH TITTIES, GIRL *
* I DON'T MIND WHAT CUP YOU GOT SO LONG AS THAT CUP'S DRUNK WHEN DADDY GETS ON TOP *
* BIG TUSH, LITTLE TUSH, LITTLE FLUFFY BUSH TUSH *
* ROUND TUSH, FLAT TUSHY, BIG DOWN DADDY TUSHY *
* I DON'T MIND WHAT SIZE THERE IS *
* BUT WHEN DADDY UNBUCKLES, MAKE SURE YOU MAKE ME GO *
( vocalizing )
* HEH HEH, THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT, GIRL *
* BIG HAND, SMALL FINGER-LICKIN' WITH THE TASTE *
* PINK ONES, BROWN ONES, SUGAR-PICKING PIE ONES *
* CLEAN ONES, DIRTY ONES, SWAMP-SHIT, MONEY-GRUBBING ONES *
* I DON'T MIND SO LONG AS YOU MAKE DADDY GO *
( scatting )
* I DON'T MIND WHICH WAY YOU LOOK *
* BUT WHEN DADDY UNBUCKLES, MAKE SURE YOU MAKE ME GO,,, *