Lady Diana, is it?
His Royal Highness was wondering where you went, He sent me to find you,
Oh, I just needed a little air,
-It's such a posh party,
I'm used to talking to five-year-olds,
What?
I'm a kindergarten helper, I don't even know why I came,
So not my scene,
Well, His Royal Highness is certainly glad you came,
I can tell he's taken quite a liking to you,
Has he really?
When you come back in, I'll make sure you two have some time alone,
Oh, thank you--
Mrs, Parker Bowles, But call me Camilla,
Charles and I are old chums,
There must be someone appropriate, Charles,
You'd be surprised by how few, Mummy,
We are in crisis!
Our popularity is declining, the public trusts us less and less,
And you're saying that's my fault?
I'm saying your philandering isn't helping matters!
Well, there is one possibility,
The youngest Spencer daughter, Lady Diana,
But didn't you used to court her sister?
Sarah, yes, until she started mouthing off to the press about our relationship,
-How stupid of her, -But Diana's different,
She's… very shy, and I'm certain she'll be discreet,
But I'm not certain this is what she wants,
The Princess of Wales? Me? Imagine,
I know, I'm as amazed as you are,
But I hear the Queen's become your biggest advocate,
God, that woman hated me,
I don't know, though, he seems rather melancholy,
You've been hanging pictures of Charlie boy on your wall
since you were 12,
He's your Barbara Cartland fantasy come true,
All right, fine,
But do you think he even likes me all that much?
As if that matters!
You meet all the requirements:
the right family, no pesky ex-boyfriends,
and, against all odds, you're still a virgin,
In their eyes, you're the perfect bloody princess,
This just came,
Yeah, I'd say he definitely likes you,
Bloody hell,
-The sod never gave me one of these, -Well, that says a lot, doesn't it, Sarah?
-Hello? -Ah, Lady Diana,
I was just checking if you received the necklace I sent over?
Oh, yes, sir, and I…
I love it,
I thought you might wear it tonight, Oh, and I hope you don't mind,
I've invited a few friends to join us,
Well of course not, I enjoy all your friends,
And tell me, Diana,
do you enjoy Bach?
-Yes, sir, I adore Bach,
Splendid, Tonight, then,
He really does have many appealing qualities,
Such as he's in line to be the King of England?
She really couldn't be more charming,
-I hope she likes the necklace, -Have you met Mrs, Parker Bowles yet?
I spent a lot of time picking it out for her,
Yes, they're good friends, Why?
You'll see, I'll be borrowing this a lot,
-Enjoy Bach, -And you truly think she may be the one?
I do,
I've really enjoyed getting to know her, Her simplicity is so refreshing,
Not to mention, she's remarkably pretty,
And you know I've never cared about that,
-No, darling, I didn't mean-- -Someday I'll forgive you for that remark,
All right, forgiven,
Do you know what she suggested we do this weekend?
-Hm? -Go and see Dire Straits,
I hadn't the foggiest idea what she was talking about,
-They're a pop band, -Yes, I've been well educated on that now,
As well as on The Culture Club and Duran Duran Duran,
-Oh, no, there are only two, -Only two what?
Durans, It's simply Duran Dur--
Never mind,
I'm merely pointing out she has the musical tastes of a teenage girl,
She is a teenage girl,
-So she's malleable, -Mm,
You and I would have great influence over her,
Now go and grab her before she runs off with a member of Air Supply!
Well, I've engaged us a cellist for tonight, You will join us?
Charles, perhaps Diana would prefer some time alone with you?
I was actually hoping you could come and offer her, um, a spot of guidance,
Wow,
Diana,
-I'm so thrilled you could come tonight, -Well, it was a tough decision,
It was either this or Trivial Pursuit with my flatmates, so--
And you look absolutely stunning,
Really? I feel like an overdressed Barbie doll,
-Oh, no-- -Oh, that necklace is perfection!
Camilla?
-Oh, I didn't realize you'd be here,
Then again, you seem to pop up everywhere,
My dear, may I offer a spot of advice?
You see, I feel as if I've become a bit of a big sister to you,
Well, I already have two big sisters, so I actually don't need another,
Well, this, uh, situation you're in, the favored girl of the prince,
it's rather unique,
So do try to be as clever as you can about it, all right?
-Charles likes clever girls, -Ladies?
Ah,
Oh, here! A little thank-you gift,
Uh, for me?
You seem surprised, Don't girls usually give you gifts?
No, Never,
Cuff links, How lovely,
-I'm sure you have dozens, -Actually, hundreds,
Well, I saved the receipt, so--
-Oh,
That's Mstislav Rostropovich,
He is, in my layman's opinion, the greatest cellist in the world today,
-You see? It's sublime, darling, isn't it?
Charles likes clever girls,
-Where are you, Diana? -Huh?
You seem a million miles away,
The music is transporting me,
Excuse me, how about a quick snap there, luv?
Of me? Why?
You're that new friend of the prince, ain't ya?
Come on, luv, One shot,
Cheers,
Thank you, that's enough now,
Lady Diana Spencer calling again for the prince,
I called earlier, so--
All right, yes, but please tell him
I really need to speak with him, please, I--
Please, sod off!
-Charles, this has gone far enough, -Are you suggesting it's my fault, Mummy?
I'm suggesting it's time you make up your mind!
-The way the press is hounding her… -I am fond of Lady Diana,
I am, but… what if there were someone else?
Isn't this "someone else" already married?
Right, Of course, but--
Lady Diana and I, we've only been out a dozen times or so,
and we don't have much in common,
You're the Prince of Wales,
You don't have much in common with anybody,
-But what if I'm simply not certain?
I mean, were you certain when you married?
Well, uh…
Quite,
Well…
Diana, it's time we have a serious discussion,
-My cuff links, -Hmm?
The ones I gave you, you're wearing them,
Yes, uh, they're now my favorite pair,
I was so touched by your kindness and your generosity and…
-And, I've grown quite fond of you,
But I'm not even sure if any of this is what you want,
Sir, my mother deserted our family when I was five,
Ran off with her boyfriend,
Horrible, really, so I spent the next few years
reading nothing but romance novels, mostly by Barbara Cartland,
She's written, like, 400 books,
and I'll argue they're all brilliant
because they're all about the same thing,
Finding the one person you're meant to be with,
Before you snicker at me again,
you should know that when my father remarried,
he married her daughter,
So Barbara Cartland is now my step-grandmother,
I met her when I was 14,
Darling Diana!
Barbara Cartland, oh, just look at you!
I know, I'm delicious,
Your stories are the only ones I read! How many are true?
True? Oh, no,
And most of all, read other books,
-And I did read other books,
But she makes you believe love can overcome whatever problems you have and…
If my parents had just believed that fantasy,
maybe they'd still be together,
So that's what I want,
A fantasy?
Just the possibility of it,
Lady Diana…
you are remarkable,
So, then…
Did you just-- Is this a proposal?
Well, it is,
Oh, my God,
What a terrible proposal,
-Nineteen, -Thank you,
And you're truly in love with me?
I am,
Oh, sir,
And we're certain?
I've been assigned to take care of you, m'lady, if you'll come with me?
No, I must go back to my flat,
Impossible, It's engulfed in photographers,
But my kindergarten class, I didn't even say goodbye,
I can't go through with it, Sarah,
Don't be daft, you're walking down the aisle in two hours,
But you were right about that Camilla woman,
Well, it's too late now,
Your face is already on all the mugs and the tea towels,
You're a national holiday,
That dress doesn't lack volume,
Oh, God, I'll look enormous!
Hey, now,
Listen to your sister,
Every girl wanted him, but you're the one who nabbed him,
And how many people's childhood dreams actually come true?
I will,
Darling, are you okay?
Of course,
Seems as if your friend had a memorable wedding,
Hm,
Well, for what it's worth, I thought you were a far more beautiful bride,
And now you've gone completely mad,
-On the contrary,
-Our first official appearance? -A week on Sunday, yes,
-Are you certain I'm ready, Mummy? -Now, now, it's all set,
-We shall present you in Wales, -But what exactly will be expected of me?
No need to worry, darling, all you have to do is follow by my side,
But I feel as if I received more training when I was a preschool helper,
No training in the world can prepare you for what's in store,
Darling, we'll simply greet our subjects, shake their hands--
Wear gloves,
But what on earth do I say to them?
What?
It's Welsh for, "I'm happy to be here, Thank you,"
-So, then…
I've never been so nervous,
I will try my very best,
And I'm so sorry if I disappoint you,
Charles, this will be her first time interacting with a crowd,
-Stay close to her, will you? -Yes, of course, Mummy,
Now, you remember the Welsh lesson I gave you?
Not a word,
Hello,
I'm Diana,
Her press coverage is extraordinary,
As for me?
Hard to tell,
I was wondering if some of you might say hello to my husband,
He adores Wales,
Darling, they're simply fascinated with her because she's new,
Not to mention, she's a pretty young girl with the hair and clothes, and you're a…
I'm what?
A man, in a suit,
A very handsome man in a suit, but nevertheless--
So I should simply hover nearby and hold her handbag?
Well, wasn't that the goal? We should be happy!
Darling, we've succeeded beyond our wildest imaginations,
I'm beginning to think she may be the best thing that's happened to you,
And where do you fit in, then?
Funny, my husband recently inquired about that too,
So, I've been wondering, are you still seeing your friend?
He calls you my friend,
Yes,
I just hope you're aware of the risks now,
I can't imagine his wife or the Queen would be too happy about it,
And are you still seeing your friend? Or should I say "friends"?
Actually, no,
No?
Oh, well… Charles and I, is it a problem?
It just seems at some point, perhaps,
we should start paying more attention to each other,
-We can't continue on as we've been, -What do you mean?
You're now married to the most beloved woman in England,
If we were ever found out, I would be the most despised,
I don't think I could stand that,
Go to your wife,
We both have marriages we need to attend to,
Charles?
I have something to tell you,
-Charles? -Hmm?
-Are you all right? -What?
Uh, yes, of course,
-You seem distracted, -I've had much on my mind of late,
-Well, I have something to tell you, -This isn't a good time,
-Can we speak later? -It's good news, I think,
Christ! All right,
You're not still upset?
-About that newspaper coverage? -Of course not,
I'm simply trying to do what everyone expects of me,
It's rather difficult, isn't it?
What is it you wanted?!
-If you're in another one of your moods-- -What is it, Diana?
What?
-A baby? -Yes,
So quickly?
Well, I have always dreamed of having a girl,
but it would be quite helpful if this first one were a boy,
I will do my very best,
I love you,
What?
I do,
Love you,
And we married so quickly,
So perhaps this is a proper beginning for us,
And Mrs, Parker Bowles, whatever we had…
I've ended it,
A baby?!
Oh God!
Sir?
It's Mrs, Parker Bowles,
Should I tell her you're otherwise engaged, sir?
Charles?
How have you been?
All is well, I suppose,
Though my husband is being stationed overseas more and more, And you?
William brings me an impossible sense of joy,
And Diana and I are getting along better than ever,
But it is lovely to hear your voice,
Is it?
-Is that…? -It was a phone conversation, that is all,
-You're still in love with her? -I am not,
-But you-- -You misunderstood! That is all,
-You just said you were in love with her! -I said nothing of the kind!
Now if you don't mind,
I'd rather not have this conversation again and again!
She hardly eats, Her mood changes by the minute,
She's even been threatening to harm herself,
It's postpartum depression, I'm afraid it's grown quite severe,
She needs rest, as well as the full support of those around her,
Especially from His Royal Highness,
Well, good luck with that,
-And when she has her next child? -It will likely grow worse,
Another boy, then, Seems you've ignored my request for a girl,
So now our own son isn't good enough for you?
Christ, Diana, don't overreact to a joke,
You haven't made a joke since I met you,
Why must every conversation we have turn into a bloody argument?
She's still in our marriage, She will always be in our marriage,
Is it your intention to drive me back to her?
Because that is exactly what you're doing!
I'm fine, I'm fine, Look, please don't fuss over me,
-Are you sure the boys are all right? -They know you're unwell, that's all,
You ask me, you're just doing all this to get your husband's attention,
I say you cut your losses and drop the sod, That's how I handled him,
You did not, he dropped you,
Please, I already had one foot out of the door,
And let's face it, you know all they really wanted from you,
A baby prince,
And you've already popped out a perfectly good pair,
-Pop, pop,
-You've done your duty, now move on, -Move on?
Do you think I can simply pack up my tiaras and rent a flat in Kensington?
The country would go mad,
The Queen would have to approve, good luck with that,
-And perhaps… -Perhaps?
-Perhaps I still love him, -After the way he's treated you?
M'lady, I think Her Royal Highness needs some rest now,
She's rested long enough, I say Her Royal Highness gets up and fights,
If only he wasn't still seeing the Rottweiler,
She calls Camilla "the Rottweiler," I just love that,
You know what the latest talk is? That you've gone completely mad,
-I must reiterate my plea for rest, -She should know this,
They're saying you're officially bonkers, Unfit to be seen in public,
You have got to get out there and show them otherwise,
Once they think you're another unhinged woman
driven mad by her unfaithful--
Charles,
I hope you don't mind,
Hello, Sarah,
You just…
be good to yourself, Okay?
I already had one foot out of the door,
It's lovely of you to come, Charles,
Of course, I'm--
My God, Diana!
You know, the first time that you…
harmed yourself, I thought, "Well, merely an aberration,"
But then the second time, and the third, and now--
Sarah thinks I do it to get your attention,
Is that true?
How are the boys?
I told them you're anxious to see them as soon as you're recovered,
Thank you,
I'm really glad you're here,
Listen,
What we need to do is come together and…
And get you well, and somehow make this marriage work,
-May we at least agree on that? -Yes, of course,
It's grand to hear you say so,
Well, is there anything that will lift your spirits, then?
Yes,
When we do our walkabouts, people often tell me their troubles,
I don't even ask, They just… volunteer,
And I know there's so much I can do for them, So…
I'd like to get involved in more charities,
Fine, we'll arrange a few more appearances,
No, more than appearances, and more than a few,
-You're truly not well enough, -But I would be, if you'd just let me try,
My mother generates much goodwill when she goes out among the people,
But she likes to do things her way,
And I'd like to do things mine,
This amazing new facility for cancer care is a true inspiration,
And I can't wait to visit each and every one of you,
-Just pace yourself, darling, -Why?
Isn't it marvelous, darling? They view me as one of them!
But the point of our existence is that we're not one of them,
We are symbols, if you will,
Who the bloody hell wants to be a symbol?
We represent their aspirations,
So what you're doing, darling, is coming across as a bit, rather, well--
-What? -Common,
When His Royal Highness feels so strongly, I find it best to listen to him,
Why? When I'm just beginning to feel as if I matter,
Paul, we have the event for the Royal Ballet coming up, don't we?
Always one of your favorites,
Well, I'd like to be of greater help this year,
You could give a speech before the performance,
They'd adore that!
No, I've given enough speeches,
Let's show them what else I can do,
And do you know the whereabouts of my wife?
I believe she's still using the facilities, sir,
A fine way to treat her husband,
And now, to conclude the Royal Ballet Christmas Gala,
please welcome one of our brightest stars,
And the most special of guests,
Would you please give us some privacy?
Everyone leave, now,
A public dance performance by the Princess of Wales?
-Have you lost your bloody mind? -It was a present, I did it for you,
-This was entirely about you! -No!
To get your picture in the bloody paper again!
No, to make you proud of me,
You live inside a photograph!
-Listen to me, Charles, I-- -I have finished listening!
That's not true!
Charles, please calm down,
I just want you to notice me how you notice Mrs, Parker Bowles,
What?
I know you still see her,
How is it my fault?
Yes,
I don't know,
Diana--
You are worshiped by the world, Diana,
Isn't that enough?
Well, then,
I'll get her,
-Sir, we should go, -No,
-I'm sorry to come at this hour, -It's all right,
But the worse things get with Diana, the more I miss you,
Every day, more and more, I miss you, I can hardly bear it anymore,
-Don't you think I feel the same?
-All these months apart…
But how could we possibly?
If I am to be King, divorce is out of the question,
We have friends, dear friends,
who are sickened of this continuing charade,
They'll lend us their flats, Hell, they'll lend us their castles,
-Paul! -Yes?
Is something wrong?
Very much so, Have you looked in my closets lately?
It's as if the Queen selected my entire wardrobe,
Look at these pictures,
They fawn over her because of her gowns and her shoes and her hairdos,
Architecture! Modern buildings really are quite ghastly, you know,
No, you're the one who knows, So you must push back, darling,
I'm here to speak to you tonight about the necessity
and glory of older buildings,
While we may prize the new, we must cherish the established,
It would be a tragedy if St, Paul's
is dwarfed by yet another giant glass stump,
a monstrous carbuncle on the face of a much-loved, elegant friend,
I have begged and pleaded with her, but she refuses to listen to a word I say,
And now all of Diana's showboating is making matters worse!
It's her doing!
No, it's me again, Barbara Cartland,
Now, where were we?
Oh, yes,
Ladies,
Other ladies,
-Ooh!
James Hewitt, Your Royal Highness,
Officer Hewitt, I hear you offer lessons,
There's only one type of lesson I offer: riding lessons,
I assumed your husband gives you riding lessons,
He's tried, He's not very good,
Perhaps he just doesn't have the proper horse,
And do you have the proper horse?
Your Royal Highness, I think you'd adore my horse,
Oh, all right, all right!
I just made up those bits of dialogue, but aren't they delicious?
They are! They are!
Now, listen,
From the moment we met, I felt this… electricity, right?
Like, destiny, like this really intense sense--
Stop it, James, You're beginning to sound like a Barbara Cartland novel,
Well, her novels do end happily, right?
Do you truly want me?
-What? -Do you truly desire me?
Aren't you the most desirable woman in the world?
I'm not even the most desirable woman in my own marriage,
-Oh, my love,
Trust me,
Look at the time, you've made me late,
They're all long evenings,
Shall we, darling?
That's quite enough, darling,
Thank you,
I'm sorry to disturb you, sir, but I have rather upsetting news,
The princess has apparently grown close to a cavalry officer,
How close?
-Wait,
Doesn't he give my boys riding lessons?
Yes,
And they are quite fond of him,
Perhaps I should give the princess a warning,
Is everything all right?
No warning, Let them carry on,
What is it?
I know where you're going and I beg you to reconsider,
Oh, for God's sake, someone has to be there for these people,
Especially after what Margaret Thatcher has done,
So now we have political opinions?
It's not an opinion, it's a fact,
Since Mrs, Thatcher has taken her claws out…
-Oh please! -…there are far fewer social services
-for those who need it most, -M'lady,
Thank you, Paul,
What you're doing is simply unwise,
Charles, what's the point of having power if we don't use it to help people?
AIDS is a growing crisis in Britain
and no one's paying the least bit of attention to it,
But there are more appropriate causes,
You should know people are beginning to suggest
that you revel in being the pretty face of all this suffering,
I bet those are the same people who call Mother Teresa an opportunist, so…
All I'm saying is, if you insist on playing martyr, fine,
But for the sake of your sons, protect yourself,
Wear gloves, wear a mask, wear whatever you need to wear,
But protect yourself,
What a joy, Your Royal Highness,
No one near your stature has ever even inquired about us, much less visited,
-Your Royal Highness, -Those gloves aren't necessary,
I really must insist,
We've been desperately trying to educate the public,
There are doctors in this very hospital who won't even touch these men,
much less treat them,
The men have been instructed not to touch you,
So everyone will feel comfortable,
We have orders from the Queen,
And where's the Queen now?
Buckingham Palace, I presume,
Pity,
Hello,
I'm Diana,
I brought along a photographer from the papers,
-I thought some pictures might give-- -Oh, no, No,
I couldn't possibly,
But it will bring attention to your cause,
Actually, I wouldn't mind a photograph,
Me too,
Our problems are so minuscule compared to the rest of the world,
I sometimes wonder if I could do more for people,
More?
There isn't an unwell person in England whose doorbell you haven't rung,
-Sarah! -Sorry,
I came here for dinner and there's still no sign of it,
Will Captain Hewitt be joining us?
-In Kensington Palace? Are you mad?
Well, I'd just like to meet him before you two ride off into the sunset,
Oh, he would make a wonderful father, he truly would,
Wait, you're not really considering it,
Don't be daft,
Good, To have to put up with your husband's nonsense
and then not be crowned Queen?
I'd have to kill both you and the Rottweiler,
I don't even think she's been around much of late,
Maybe he's finally over her,
You do know where your husband's going tonight?
One of his pretentious friends is having a party or something,
It sounds dire,
Are you aware it's a birthday party for the Rottweiler's sister?
What?
Those two go together to their friends' flats all the time now,
It's not exactly a secret,
Except, apparently, to you,
Think you could ring a bell or something so we could eat?
Change of plans, no dinner,
-Paul? -Oh, come on,
Locate my husband, will you? There's a party I'd like to attend,
We had the most marvelous time, but we must get going,
Oh, no, he'll be here soon,
-I'm here, -Darling, finally!
And I'm here too,
Surprise!
-Diana,
Actually, it's "Your Royal Highness,"
You swore you wouldn't cause a scene,
And you swore you wouldn't see her again,
Perhaps we should go somewhere private,
How about the basement?
Love to,
I'll ring you,
No, no, he won't!
Oh, my gosh, this was fun,
Did seem like a lovely party,
I know about the stable boy,
Hewitt is his name, correct?
I know what you do, the men you see,
You've been spying,
I have a responsibility to know what goes on in my family,
Especially when my wife acts as if she's escaped from an asylum!
For the record, he's not a stable boy,
Do you love him?
Don't answer,
I don't even care,
I will end it with him if you end it with her,
When will you come to your senses
and stop trying to make this marriage work?
What?
Well, let's be honest,
-I owe this Hewitt chap my gratitude,
We will continue to play our roles in public, but in private,
do as you must,
And our boys?
We will both always love them,
They'll be fine,
So you and I can be together as much as we like now!
-Diana-- -You'll spend more time with my boys,
And perhaps we'll even visit America,
Don't you see? We can make plans for our future,
I didn't want to tell you until my orders came through,
but I believe I'm about to be reassigned,
To where?
Germany,
Oh, for how long?
Two years,
No,
-I'm sorry, but no, -I'll be back from time to time,
How could you agree to this?
-What choice do I have? -Me, you could choose me,
-No, I'm sorry, you simply can't go, -Germany isn't far,
-I'll come back as often as I can, -Do you think Charles is behind this?
What?
I bet he did all he could to have you sent away,
Or perhaps he had nothing to do with it and I'm just good at my job,
-I can arrange things so you can stay, -Diana--
If I make a phone call, they'll have to let you stay,
You can't interfere with my career, my life,
I thought I was your life,
I've been receiving calls from reporters inquiring about our relationship,
I'm only surprised it took this long,
Then let's tell our story before they do! I'm ready to tell the world!
And do you know what they'll call me?
The randy stable boy, The plaything of the princess,
You know, sometimes I think it's impossible for any man to be with you,
I'm sorry,
If you leave, you and I are no more,
Did you just give me an ultimatum?
No,
No, no, just please don't go, James, Please, Look…
I… I won't let Charles get away with this,
I'll… I'll make a phone call, and then-- No, James!
James, please!
You are truly awful people,
That is utter rubbish!
-Andrew, there's a phone call for you, -Bad time,
-It's the Princess of Wales, -Yes, this is Andrew Morton,
Mr, Morton, I hear you're writing another book about me,
I suppose I am, Your Royal Highness,
Well, I was wondering if you'd care to interview me for it,
No, truly?
Though you'd have to agree never to tell anyone we spoke,
We must never meet, and all quotes must be anonymous,
Perhaps you could send me the questions
and I could record them into a tape recorder
and then a third party could deliver you the tapes,
That sounds rather like a spy novel,
Well, I suppose that's what my life's become,
-Your morning paper, sir, -Well, put it down,
As long as you're prepared, sir,
God damn her!
Of course she was interviewed for the book,
Those words are her words,
Doesn't she understand by now? We don't speak to the press,
-She understands next to nothing, -Doesn't she?
She's portraying herself as a woman
cruelly betrayed by her unaffectionate husband,
Half the women in England can relate to that scenario,
Now, how much of the book is true?
And how am I supposed to answer that?
For a refreshing change, let's try honestly,
Well, I've only seen excerpts in the paper, but…
seems to be not untrue,
-Oh, for God's sake! -Mummy, Mrs, Parker Bowles--
-I don't want to hear it! -She is quite wonderful--
I don't care if she's Joan of Arc!
-If you'd spend time with her-- -Absolutely not!
If I was interested in this type of sordid drama,
I'd turn on Coronation Street,
Now, get on with it, Charles, and mend your marriage,
For your children and for your country,
And maybe even for your mother,
And if I simply can't?
That's not an option,
She said that? Your mother truly has no interest in meeting me?
After that book?
After Diana's been dominating the airwaves?
I'm sorry, Charles, but the Queen has gone mad,
Darling, I could use a moment's quiet right now,
How can you be so calm at a time like this?
Well, I need to finish this landscape,
-It's going to be on a stamp, -Let me see it,
It's not one of your best,
Perhaps because it's been rather difficult to concentrate!
She has no sense of propriety,
No sense of what should and shouldn't be said,
Exactly!
So we must convince the press to begin seeing this through our eyes,
She is out there making a fool of you, and me,
And demeaning the monarchy in the process,
How do you react? You paint,
Leave us, William,
Well, there is one thing I've been considering,
But it's rather drastic,
At this juncture, we could use a bit of drastic,
What if…
Well, what if I went on television?
And owned up to the truth, told my story?
No,
Our story,
No Windsor has ever admitted to having a mistress before,
but I could speak to the nation, unfiltered,
and tell them how I've tried my very best,
What do you think?
Are you certain, Paul?
I'm sorry, the newspapers leaked the content of the interview,
And my husband truly--
…will admit his infidelity on national television tonight, yes,
The stupid sod,
At least I had the good sense to speak about it for a book interview,
Anonymously, I might add, anonymously,
For people to actually see him sit there and say those things out loud,
They claim I'm the one who's mad,
I'm afraid the headlines tomorrow will be quite… humiliating,
Christ, And there's nothing I can do about it?
There's not,
That is-- Well, unless…
-Unless? -Unless--
We did receive one invitation for this evening, an art gallery opening,
No, decline it, please, I couldn't--
Of course, you absolutely couldn't,
-Unless-- -Unless?
Unless!
-Please stop saying that, -Of course,
-Unless…
What?
Perhaps I've said too much,
My apologies, and good night,
-Unless…
Now then, the most damaging charge
is that you were persistently unfaithful to your wife,
Did you at least try to be faithful and honorable
to Lady Diana Spencer when you first married?
Yes, absolutely,
And were you?
Yes,
Until the marriage became irretrievably broken down,
-I'm sorry, Charles made it impossible-- -Oh, stop whining, Diana,
Every time I pick up a newspaper,
there's another personal revelation by you or my son,
The both of you would do well to acquaint yourselves
with the concept of discretion,
We both know the prince certainly didn't help matters,
And neither did the princess,
In the old days, we'd have simply chopped off your head
and been done with it,
Sometimes I miss the old days,
Do you have anything else to add, Charles?
I will say this,
I tried my very best to make this arrangement work,
Arrangement? Funny, I thought it was a marriage,
If I could've known our ending before our beginning, I never would've…
But then again, we wouldn't have had the boys, So…
You are a wonderful mother,
No one can deny you that,
So, Diana…
What is it you want?
To be on my own again,
To be free of it all,
That is a fantasy, Diana, Don't be foolish,
I realize I must have disappointed you,
No argument there,
Then again, you never really understood me,
-That is not true, -I'm afraid it is,
You never listen, Diana,
In fact,
at this moment,
I understand you more than ever,
They were stationed at a naval base in Malta,
which was then part of the King's vast empire,
And for a time, her life seemed as ordinary as the other wives',
All right, Diana,
You and Charles are to be divorced,
You will no longer be known as "Her Royal Highness,"
but you shall retain your protection services,
No, if I'm to be released, I'm to be released from everything,
But the way you're hounded by the press,
If I retain my protection services, they'll only continue to spy on me,
And then report back to you,
Would you care to deny that?
Very well,
No protection services,
And your plans now?
Once the boys are older, I'd like to go to America,
A country unafraid to express its every emotion,
You'll fit right in,
And they don't have princesses, so they'll allow me to be who I truly am,
And perhaps this queen,
perhaps one day she too may rediscover a bit of who she once was?
As I said,
don't be foolish,
It's finally time, Mummy,
Your Majesty, it is an honor to meet you,
Well, I admire your patience,
The princess will auction off dozens of her most famous dresses,
Her dress sale has raised millions of pounds for childhood cancer research,
The National AIDS Trust thanks Princess Diana for her invaluable contri--
The princess' work for The Leprosy Mission has revolutionized--
Her work on the international landmine crisis
has already been credited with saving thousands of lives,
In an act of extraordinary courage,
the Princess of Wales walks through a minefield in Angola,
There is breaking news coming out of Paris,
We are hearing of an automobile accident involving Princess Diana,
We have no word on the extent of her injuries,
A mob of paparazzi followed her car into a tunnel,
We are getting reports Princess Diana may be seriously hurt,
We are being told now to prepare for the worst,
There is shock and horror as the West wakes up to the news,
We can now confirm…
that Princess Diana has died,
I will,