We shall not be moved!
Easy! Easy! Easy!
♪ Well, I'm on my way to Heaven ♪
♪ We shall not be moved ♪
♪ On my way to Heaven ♪
♪ We shall not be moved ♪
♪ Just like a tree ♪
♪ That's standing by the water side,,, ♪
Professional wrestling has existed
in the United Kingdom for over 100 years,
In 1965, ITV's new show, World of Sport,
brought wrestling to the masses,
It became one of the most popular shows on TV ever,
Sometimes bringing in more viewers than the footie,
At 4:00 on a Saturday afternoon,
every class of household would come together to witness the glory,
Come on, Ethel, It's about to start,
♪ We shall not be moved,,, ♪
Come and get your own bloody biscuits then, You pillock,
♪ Just like a tree that's standing by the water side,,, ♪
Ehh! Don't you dare,
Good boy, Oi!
♪ ,,,standing by the water side, we will not,,, ♪♪
Family, biscuits and a brew,
What more could you want?
- Thank you, - Thanks,
That's me, Mark Bolton,
in a grudge match with my archenemy, Ted,
I was born to wrestle, It's literally in me blood,
My dad, Trevor "Bulldog" Bolton, led The Panthers,
a magnificent band
- of wrestling heroes,,, - Yes!
and one terrifying villain,
And the biggest hero of them all,
my best friend, Ginger Frost,
Coming for you, Lesley Beck!
I'm Mark Bolton! "Son of Bulldog,"
Come on, Dad! Come on!
When he wasn't in the ring,
you could find Ginger behind the bar of The Half Nelson,
the pub that he ran,
and also the center of our universe,
,,,down on me mush,
So, crowd's absolutely dead,
- Terrible, weren't it? - They think the title's gone,
- but little did they know, while he's showboating,,, - Dad, Dad,
- Dad! - Anyway, throws us off,,,
Dad, let's wrestle, please,
Not now, all right?
- Anyway,,, - Come on!
Hey, hey, Come on, Mark, Hey, hey,
- Dad, I've got Ginger! - Oh, my God! He's got me!
- Mum! - Go on, Mark!
Submit!
- Mark's got me, Bulldog! - Dad! Dad!
But following a scare from Ginger's dodgy ticker,
I took the reins,
and became the proud landlord of The Half Nelson,
In 1988, World Of Sport was canceled,
A nation's Saturday afternoon was changed forever,
and my dream of wrestling in the ring was shattered,
- Thanks, Mark, - Bye, love,
♪ You've got to fly,,, ♪
Oh, don't forget, Marge, there's a quiz on Tuesday,
♪ Prowl like a lion in Africa ♪
British wrestling took place in a world where only the strongest survived,
And to survive,,,
Ah, fu,,,
,,,you had to walk like a panther,
♪ Walk like a panther tonight ♪
♪ Walk like a panther tonight ♪♪
Ginger!
- Hey, lad, - All right, Ginge,
- Here, let me give you a hand, - Hey!
- Hey, hey, - He's still got it,
- Lovely this morning, weren't it? - Aye, it were,
You coming to The Nelson tonight for the quiz?
Tell you what, lad, That pub is the last place round here
to give any of us a sense of belonging,
Rest went to the dogs a long time ago,
Just as well you took it over, lad,
Well, mi casa su casa, Ginge,
- Come again? - It means,,,
"My house, your house," Everyone's house,
It's not an house, son, it's an home,
- See you later, - Yeah,
Oh, Ginger, question eight,
Who was the best wrestler never to be seen on the telly?
- Who? - Me,
Ginger! Ginger!
Ginger? Ginger? Ginger?
Someone phone an ambulance!
Watch out, big lads coming through,
Looking good, Zulu, looking good,
- Is that two Frazzles? - Yes, please,
Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please,
I just wanna say a few words in honor of Ginger,
Thank you, love,
My friend Ginger,
Our friend Ginger,
At 4:00 on a Saturday afternoon,,,
the whole bloody country's friend, Ginger,
Nothing meant more to Ginger than being on the road with the Panthers,
Taking in town halls up and down the country
with his wrestling family, "Gladiator" Glenn Higgins,
Tony "Sweet Cheeks" Smith, Lara "Liplock" Anderson,,,
Cliff "Edge" Morris, Zulu Dawn,,,
the Dixon Brothers, Danny and Derek,
All family,
People like this place,
This place likes people,
The Half Nelson is the beating heart of this community,
A community that welcomes all,
no exception, I mean, you took us in,
Geordie lad, a Northern lass
who couldn't quite settle by the Mersey,
We brought a little bit of it up here, didn't we? Eh, son?
Mark keeping this place running meant a lot to Ginger,
And I know what Ginger meant to my son,
He gave him everything a father should give,
Everything a father's obliged to give,
He gave everything I didn't,
For that, I'm sorry, Mark,
Ladies and gentlemen,,,
Ginger Frost,
- Ginger Frost! - Ginger Frost!
That was,,, That was lovely that, Dad,
Yeah, He would have been really proud of you,
- You okay? - Yeah,
He'll be up there now, Pat,
wrestling with the angels,
Oh, look at him, Who the bloody hell does he think he is?
- Come on, - Coming,
Gladys, Pat,
I hope you ladies have left your purple-rinsed grudges at home,
on this most tragic of days,
Oh, you should be ashamed of yourself, Popsy Wilson,
This is all your fault!
Course it is,
- He died of a heart attack, - It wasn't attacked, It was broken,
He was one of the strongest men who ever set foot in the ring,
- Evidently not, - He was a hero,
And wrestling will never be the same!
Wrestling? What wrestling?
When will you two change the 8-track?
British wrestling is as dead as Ginger Frost,
Oh, aye, it's dead,,, because you helped to kill it,
Do you think your dad would be proud, eh,
seeing what you did to everything that he'd worked so hard to build up?
He supported wrestling,
He supported us, and you turned your back on it,
You turned your back on us,
And what for, eh? For a pound note,
And brought in that mamby-pamby American crap,
The fake stuff,
- And I bid you adieu, - Adieu,
Why don't you just say goodbye, Wilson?
Or do you want me to say goodbye for you?
That won't be necessary, Cliff,
Still playing at being a bodyguard?
Oh, how is Tina Turner?
Shaneequa,,,
is the finest lookalike in the business,
As her poster says, she is simply the best,
If Stars in Their Eyes was still on TV, she'd piss it,
Now you can mock me, Wilson, but don't you dare mock that lady,
And do not mock the art of close protection,
Do you know how many people would be dead without it?
No,
Loads, that's who,
Reagan, Ronald, President,
Charles, prince, future king of England,
De Courcey, Roger, puppeteer,
Roger De Courcey? Who tried to kill him?
Bingley Working Men's Club, Christmas '98,
Mousetrap in Nookie's shaft,
Someone with steady hands, 'cause it were well-balanced,
My dear Mr, Morris,
we all know you're harder than a copper's knock,
- Ghali, Boutros Boutros,,, - Leave it, Cliff,
I'm like a shadow,
you can't see me,
Out of me way, you smelly biddies,
What you looking at? Move,
Change, bar wench, Fifties, now,
Are you deaf?
- He said "50s," - 'Nuff fifties,
Why don't you go home, eh, Rickson,,,
before your tag starts beeping?
Who's talking to you, knobhead?
Anyway, it's well taken off, Proper good behavior,
- Rickson, get out of here before I,,, - Before you what?
Wet me up with your senior railcard?
Ah, I didn't think so, duck,
Look at you all,
You bunch of sad, washed up divs,
Crying about that ginger tosser,
- Hey, you! - Dad!
Oh, where do you think you're going?
Hey!
Back off, old man!
Go on, Bulldog! Go on!
I've had enough of you, Rickson,
That's it, Bulldog, that's it, Hey, boy!
- Get off! - Dad!
Get off!
- Oh! - Go on, Bulldog, Just like the old days, right!
- Too old, Way too old, - You never encouraged me,
Dad, tag me, tag me,
- Cliff, you're on, - Don't forget our Mark,
Go on, Cliff!
Sweet Cheeks is up next!
No, you're not, You'll probably shit yourself,
What you doing?
All of you, you fannies,,,
Yeah, yeah, me, Me, Me, Cliff, My turn,
Zulu, Zulu, Zulu,,,
Have some of this,
That was a mistake, son,
That was a mistake,
Bronson, come on, let's go,
Shut up, you tosser, This is gold,
Boston Crab, Boston Crab,
Zulu!
Boston Crab, Boston Crab,
Yes! Yes, me now! Me now!
Come on, let's have a look at you,
Tag me now!
Who's been a naughty boy?
Stay down, lad, stay down,
Easy! Easy! Easy! Easy!
Yes, Glenn, Yes, Glenn,
I think he's had enough now, Mark, don't you?
Right, Ricky Rickson,
That's what we in the business call a public warning,
Now get this numpty out of our pub,
Well done, pal,
There's life in the old dog yet,
Did you notice then they couldn't even properly take me down, mate?
See my moves, H?
Saw you move to the floor a couple of times, yeah,
Right, well, they was me escaping moves, if you haven't actually noticed that,
Got some proper decent digs in, mate,
Bam, bam, bam, bam!
Where was you, mate? Where was your back-up?
Well, I,,,
I proper couldn't get through the crowd, mate,
Because Gladys and Pat were holding you back, were they?
Yeah? Is that what was going on?
No, well, what I was saying was is you probably couldn't see,
what I was up to because I'm so swift,
I'm so fast, I'm like,,, I'm like lightning,
And I,,, I took it easy on them because they're so old,
and because they're grieving, and all their loss and all that bollocks,
But next time, mate, you watch,
It's Full Force Ricky Rickson, mate!
- Jesus! - You all right?
Get off, get off me, Get off,
All right?
- I'm not crying, am I? I'm not crying, - You look like you are,
I don't cry, I've never cried once in me life,
I've never cried, Never do it, Not even at school,
You know, I'm not just some div, Mum,
They knew how much I wanted that,
And they still didn't tag me,
I could've showed them I know what I can do,
- I could have been buzzing with them, - Yeah, you could,
But you're buzzing with me,
Bloody hell,
Good boy,
Gloria,
Is he okay? He must be devastated,
Yeah, he's here and he's fine,
- Oh, God, he needs me, - Well, maybe not tonight, love,
In the words of Dina Carroll, "If only for tonight,"
And I won't be a stranger, Margaret,
Not anymore,
Ah, okay,
Well,,, if it isn't Chucky and his mum,
That thing freaks me out,
Don't you ever talk about our son like that, Tell her, Tony,
Well, this is not the time or place, ladies,
And, Gloria, we don't even know if he's mine,
How can you say that? Look at his princely mane,
It's the absolute spit of yours,
- Cherub yellow with a MacGyver twist, - You're right,
He has got beautiful hair, Gloria, So soft,
Like fresh butter wrapped in cashmere,
If Aphrodite had a sewing kit, this would be her thread,
Oh, Tony, babe, are you okay?
How could you? You could bald him,
It's Ginger's wake!
I know, and I'm here,
to guide you through that devastation, Don't worry,
My shoulders, my everything, are yours to cry on,
Not so good at taking hints, are we, Giles?
Not so good at anything, are we, Anderson?
Apart from failure, oh yeah, and being a slut,
Uh, failure? A Song For Europe, 1989 regional finals?
Little song by the name of "Submit to My Love"?
- Remind you of anything? - Aye, Nil points,
Hit Man and Her, featured dancer, Bullseye, special prize model,
Watsons Biscuit, poster girl,
And my choice of lovers is definitely a success,
Isn't it?
- I said, "isn't it," Tony? - He doesn't love you,
You lured him, and then you trapped him,
You're like a penis fly trap,
- With your sex tractor beam, - Meaning?
Meaning that's not an attraction, it's an affliction,
You've got bigger labs than NASA,
Gloria, love, I think maybe we should take the little fella home, no?
Back off, Bolton!
This is between me, him and our son,
There never was, or ever will be, anything between you and Tony,
except a restraining order,
And that is not his son,
Well, I'm gonna have him tested, And then I'll have my proof,
What? Why,,, Why do you wanna do that for, then?
Because Tony Junior deserves a legacy,
He deserves your legacy,
Come on, Gloria, love, let's leave it for tonight,
I was leaving anyway,
That's right, Gloria Giles, keep on walking,
And whilst you're lying in your lonely bed tonight,
just remember whose sweet cheeks I'll be cupping in mine,
- Put a sock in it, can't you, Lara? - Tell you what,
If I ever find out that that is your son,
you will never enter me again,
Give me someone with a soupçon of talent,
Oh, right, Let's have a look at you,
Oh, come on,
Come on, bring me the bastard son of Bieber,
Shh, shh,
Oh, I love you,
In close protection we trust, my brother,
Too slow,
,,,big, bold and beautiful,
Available in all good chemists near you,
And now, on Yorkshire Television,
Clint Eastwood protects the US President,
against assassin John Malkovich, In the Line of Fire,
I'm telling you now, Gloria Giles is going too far,
Parading that freakish little muppet around,
claiming it was sired by your aged loins,
I mean, what's she thinking?
When I left you the last time,
I know how much of a shock it must have been for you,
but, Jesus, man! How drunk were you?
- I only,,, - I don't wanna hear it!
You were broken, I get it,
You spent a few desperate days with her,
I get that too, What I don't get,
is how she thinks a man in your condition,
could have impregnated her,
She's a bloody mentalist!
She's deluded!
Howdy, partner,
Do you fancy a rub?
No, Tony, I do not fancy a rub,
You're home now, Ginger,
I promise that I'll keep The Nelson safe for you,
For all of us,
I'm gonna miss you,
Come on, love, it's freezing,
You'll wake the bloody neighbors,
Oh, love, Come here,
Big night?
You could say that,
Bet you gave him a proper send off, He deserved that,
Stuck around long enough,
Tougher inside the ring than out in the end though, eh?
Is there something I can help you with, Paul?
Sorry, I,,, You know, it's just,,,
Course you are,
There is something I need to talk to you about, Bit sensitive,
Meet me over by the tanks in five, after you've dropped your stuff off,
You might want to freshen up a bit, as well,
Her ladyship's here, Unexpected,
Couple of new additions for the cull,
Winters? She's here now?
Bloody hell,
Oh, you just missed her, mate, She said she couldn't stay,
Looking bloody good, by the way,
Hot bitch brewery owner,
You know, I always wonder how much of her own booze,
I'd need to ply her with until she'd let me have a go,
Come up,
There's no way to dress this up, Trevor,
We're going to close The Half Nelson,
- You can't be serious? - I'm sorry, Trevor,
Bollocks, You can't do this,
That place runs itself, and some, Everybody,,,
Loves The Half Nelson, I know, But so do Bowers,
They, and we here at Peverill, see this as an undeniable opportunity,
An opportunity for what? Couple of apartments? A coffee shop?
'Cause the bloody world needs another one of them,
Most likely apartments, Two really nice ones though,
Or maybe it'll just be one big house,
But to be honest, I don't think they'll make a final decision,
- until after it's all gone, - Gone?
I mean, perhaps they'll keep the facade for posterity,
but I can't speak for them,
Come on, Trevor,
Half the people in that village will be dead and gone before long,
The kids can't wait to leave, and those unlucky enough not to
will probably end up inside,
There's a whole great big world
that continues to turn outside your village, Trevor,
I suggest you step on to it,
- Listen, I know he's your son,,, - It's not about my son,
It's about everyone, It's always been about everyone,
You can't do this,
- I won't let you, - Oh, Trevor,
You know more than anyone, who I am and what I do,
So you should be well aware that I won't let someone like you stand in my way,
Someone like me?
There's a whole community of "someones like me"
who'll stand in your way,
I think you should toddle off back to your little office,
and have a good think,
I don't need to think about anything,
Oh yes, you do,
You need to think about how
you're going to tell your son that his pub's closing,
Boring,
Surely not,
What you doing? What you doing? What you doing?
That's what we in the business call a public warning,
Bam, bam, bam, and where was you, mate? Where was your back-up?
But next time, mate, it's Full Force Ricky Rickson, mate!
Now get this numpty out of our pub,
Ker-bloody-ching,
Hey, they'll know not to smash you around after this,
Oi, bell-end, no one smashed me around, all right?
What, so this ain't revenge?
It's just a random act of mischief?
Yeah,
All right, girls?
All right, tough guy,
- You've heard then? - We've seen, not heard,
What you talking about?
Full Force Ricky Rickson!
What does that mean, then?
No idea,
Bit weird that, weren't it?
It was rude,
Please hurry up, Wayne,
I'm desperate for me morning poo-poo,
- Okay, - I'm like clockwork,
What are you doing?
You're not welcome in here,
But this is The Half Nelson,
I thought everyone was welcome,
Well, you're making me friends uncomfortable,
Can you leave, please?
I don't think you want me to leave, Mark,
- I do, - No, No, you don't,
Yeah, I do, We all do,
- Wha,,, What do you think you're doing? - Mark,
Thanks to the TV execs,
your opportunity was cruelly curtailed,
Yeah, I know that,
And I don't need reminding of it,
Son of Bulldog,
Do you want another chance?
Now, Mark,,,
is your time to shine,
Your long overdue debut is imminent,
And I wanna put you in the ring,
And I will stage the most spectacular comeback for The Panthers,
All of them,
And in Ginger's honor,
- What do you want to drink? - I'll have me usual,
- What's that? - Campari and orange,
They're gonna close The Nelson,
- They can't, - Believe you me, I've tried,
Peterson's got approval, from Winters, from the board,
That greedy bloody snake,
Well, we can't allow this to happen, Trevor,
Not to our Mark,
Not to Ginger, And not to any of us,
Come here,
♪ The finest clothes ♪
♪ That you can find ♪
♪ Dressed in my coat ♪
♪ I'm feeling fine ♪
♪ I wanna shine ♪
♪ I'll shine so hard ♪
♪ I'll stand up high,,, ♪
Is it your first day?
Yeah,
Doesn't make me better than you if it is your first day,
It don't make you better than me if it's not your first day,
- It is my first day, - Mine's as well, Yes, my first day,
Right, Which one of you is Terry?
- Terry's lad? - Oh, no, not me,
Right,
According to your dad, you need toughening up,
Well, he may be an old mate,
and I might owe him a favor or two,
but don't you be expecting me to pull any punches,
I will not be riding you easily,
- And you? - Oh, yeah,
I,,, I booked "The Art of Close Protection Experience"
on Groupon,
Oh!
- Are those beards real? - Mine is, yeah,
Thank you,
Do you want to look unkempt?
Mmm?
Do you actually want to lose at least 3,5%
of your regular aerodynamic-nicity?
No, Do you want,,, No,
I'll let it slide for today,
but next time, I wanna see them either "A," gone,
or two,,,
in some kind of net,
Right,
Prepare to closely protect,
Oi! What you doing?
Taking the clock, love,
It's gotta come down, I'm afraid,
What do you mean, "taking the clock"?
Just following orders, love,
Why would they want to take a clock?
I know, Told the time and everything,
Right,
What the bloody hell?
- Hey up, smelly biddies! - Knobheads!
Dickhead,
Oh,
- All right, ladies? - You better have meant
what you said last night, Popsy Wilson,
And don't you go messing with Mark's head,
Or any of our Panthers,
Because if you do,
it'll be the last thing you ever bloody do,
If I go fast enough, I'll get the bastard,
Thank you, Ooh,
- There you go, boys, - Cheers, Dawn,
What would we do without you to start our day, girl?
Aw!
And no day can start without the dawn,
- You okay, Dawn? - I come in peace,
You boys just enjoy your breakfast,
I just need two minutes of your time, please, Dawn,
Humph!
I'm putting the band back together,
The band,
Our band,
The wrestlers?
- What? - You're serious?
The way you all threw around that Rickson gobshite,,,
It took me back to yesteryear,
You've still got romance in you, Popsy Wilson,
And an agenda, I'm sure,
The only thing I've got, Dawn,,, are amends to make,
To the Panthers,
And to you,
Oh, this is so mega, Cliff,
I feel like a right ninja,
I probably feel like more of a ninja than that other Terry,
All right, two things,
One, it's pronounced "neenya,"
And "B," there's no such thing as "neenyas,"
Yeah, there is, Those people that wear black bandages,
Yeah, like throwing stars and smoke bombs, like skills,
We are the throwing stars in this game,
Sharp, swift, deadly,
Neenyas were created to spook naughty children,
Like the bogeyman,
They were invented by people from the East,
Where? Hull?
Focus, boys, We're protecting the pope tonight,
The pope? I thought it was,,,
Never reveal your subject, Not even to me,
It's Close Protection Code,
Pope,
And his church is the biggest church of all,
His church is showbiz,
You all right, Tony? Should we cross?
- We don't want to be late, - Morning, children,
We're all right for sweets and puppies, thanks,
Have a word, please, Sweet Cheeks?
Tony?
- Tony! - What?
- What you doing? - Well, I'm on crossing,
Kids are crossing themselves,
- They've gone, - Exactly,
Showbiz,
Drink it in, boys,
Bruv,
Shouldn't we have knocked?
Knocked? We are the knock,
At this stage in your training, I suppose that not knowing
that you're the knock is,,, is understandable,
Listen, Cliff, I'm sorry, all right? I won't forget, all right?
I'm the knock, We,,, are the knock,
- Knock knock, - Yeah,
Who's there?
Stand down, boys,
Terry and Terry, My prototypes,
I'm teaching them the ways of the warrior,
Students, Bonsai,
How did you get in here? You could have just been maimed,
Oh, I've put on many a show under this great roof,
- Is he all right? - All right, Terry?
Yeah, he,,, he gets like this
when he senses danger, It's a bit like Flipper,
- All right, lad? - Panic attack?
Panic? He doesn't know the meaning of the word,
Right, well, I'll make this brief,
♪ And submit to my love ♪
♪ On your back, on your front, on all fours ♪
♪ Fours, fours ♪
What do you want, Wilson?
Yeah, well, I'm shopping, so make it quick,
Right,
Opportunity?
Major?
Perfect for my career?
Could make me an even bigger star?
They're desperate for me! Me and only me?
Right, Right,
Yeah,
My agent,
What is it?
Wrestling?
You mental dickhead,
- What? - Do you want a bag for five p?
Five p?
Do you know who I am?
Wilson,
I'll do it,
Hail Scissor, Welcome to Spartacuts,
Hail Scissor,
He's far from welcome here, Mum,
Before you throw me to the lions,
I've got a proposition for you,
I was wondering, Gladiator Glenn Higgins,,,
how do you fancy a return to the Coliseum?
- Are you still here? - I don't care what this man has done,
I didn't raise a disrespectful child,
You hear Popsy Wilson Junior out,
And you,,,
We only allow honesty under this roof,
Bleedin' hell!
Ride 'em, cowboy,
Sweet Cheeks,
What are you wearing, Tony? You look ridiculous,
Even Gloria Giles wouldn't appreciate those,
- Move, - These trunks are iconic,
They called me the "Sexy C-3PO,"
Don't be such a sap, Tony,
She's back,
Yeah,
Caw caw!
Derek, Danny,
Wilson,
I will have a single scoop, please,
- Money up front, - What?
We're closed,
I've been talking with the other Panthers,
- What about? - Wouldn't you like to know,
- Yeah, we would, - Yeah, we would,
It's time to dust off the "Screwball Corkscrew" special,
What's going on?
Mark, I thought you wanted to talk to me?
Yeah, I do, Dad, Yeah, we all do,
You're gonna love this,
What's he doing here?
What you all doing here?
Your friends, my dear Bulldog,,,
are here for the storm,
Name's Trevor, What bleedin' storm?
Powerful, strawberry blond clouds are gathering,
Their fiery red bellies brimming with auburn thunder,
Welcome,,,
to the Ginger Storm!
Trevor, in memoriam of your fallen friend,,,
you shall all be warriors once more,
Your dormant wrestling volcano
shall erupt like Etna,
engulfing all in its molten entertainment!
For this is the future of yesterday's sport today,
You're all mad,
- I'll talk to you later, Mark, - Dad! Wait there,
- Dad, please wait a minute, - Mark! Mark!
It's all right, Mark,
We'll get him on side, You know, might take a minute, eh?
And the wrestling gods, they're smiling down on us,
I've managed to secure us a venue to stage your resurrection,
In three weeks' time,
we return to the home of grapple,
Melfirth Town Hall,
Melfirth Town Hall?
How did you find a venue so quickly?
Probably dropped my name, didn't you, Wilson?
Your name opens many a door, Lara,
but this time luck was on our side,
The lead singer of the Clannad tribute band, Clannada-Dry,
was involved in a forestry accident,
forcing them to cancel or to,,,
to "clancel,"
Oh, come on, you lot, what's wrong with you?
No, their trepidation's completely understandable, as is your dad's,
And, of course, your boundless and infectious enthusiasm, Mark,
Speaking of which, I've got something to show you,
Come on then, Here you are, In you come, Come on,
Whoa, No, no, no, wait a minute,
See, I told you this'd happen, I can't be arsed,
- No, we can't have this, - Go on, show them,
- You lot are viral, - Not me, mate, I'm clean as a whistle,
No, you knob, It means, like, massively popular on the Internet,
People are talking about you all over the place,
Once, they called you the Panthers,
A band of brawling brothers and stalking sisters, championed by all,
Well, now, before you've even set foot back in the ring,
they're championing you again,
Now I know you all think that I screwed you over, but trust me when I tell you,
I had no control over the fate of wrestling on TV,
You, out!
God, ignore him, Wayne,
- I've got to go, - No, you don't,
Look, no beef with you lot, I've come for the twat,
- Come on, - It's all right, We've got stuff to do,
- There's your tea, then, - Do this for Ginger,
Show him what he meant to you,
Show the world what wrestling meant to you,
Remind the world,,,
what wrestling meant to it,
Mark Bolton,,,
Son of Bulldog,,,
- What say you? - We say yes!
Then I shall tell the world
that the Ginger Storm is brewing!
It's time to walk tall,
Stand proud,
Walk like the panthers that you are!
- Yeah! - Come on!
Yeah, All right,
I suppose so,
- Hello, Mark, - All right, Paul,
- How are you, mate? - I'm grand,
Better with a pint of best in me hand,
Ta,
I always say you pull one of our finest pints here in The Nelson,
You're doing Ginger proud,
Thanks,
Delicious,
Twat,
- Shame, really, - What is?
That this is to be my final pint in here,
Why, you moving on?
Trevor,
Dad,
Son,
I do hope I haven't put my foot in it,
Put his foot in what?
Dad, what's he talking about?
Oh, dear,
You do have a habit of keeping things
from your son, don't you, Trevor?
Dad?
I best leave you two,,,
to,,,
Night-night,
What is it you're keeping from me, Dad?
How could you do this? Hey?
- Look, Mark, please, I'm,,, - Why didn't you tell me?
- I tried, - You know what? I don't wanna know,
I don't wanna know, Nobody is taking our pub!
And you,,, you're barred!
You're barred, Dad! Do you hear me? You're barred!
And if you do a little flick on a "R," like on a capital letter,,,
- Yeah, too good, - like a proper graffiti artist, you know what I mean?
What does "R" stand for, Ricky?
Hey!
Get out of it!
This is art, mate, Proper art,
Never seen art, you little muppet,
You wouldn't know art if,,,
You don't know art at all,
- None of it, - What?
Hey, Trev, this one's for you, mate,
"Fucked,,, up,"
- Get out of it, Rickson! - Wa-hey, Mouldilocks,
Get out! I'll kick your arse, Rickson!
Fanny,
Look at that, Ginger,
See what they've done to the place,
Why can't they leave it where it lies?
Because it doesn't belong there,
That so?
You know it doesn't,
If you live in the past, you die every day,
What a load of bollocks,
You think those nutbags have got a chance of proving me wrong?
That's exactly what they've got,
They're gonna need you,
Your son is gonna need you,
More now than he ever did,
- If I was still around,,, - But you're not still around!
It's just me,
I'm the one they've turned to,
Me!
So what's your problem?
I'm bleedin' terrified,
I'm scared for us all,
I'm scared for the pub,
Scared that Mark will get hurt,
That was always my fear,
And you bloody knew that!
You're a fool if you don't think they're as scared as you are,
But they are gonna grab it by the scrote and try and save our pub,
They'll do it without you if they have to, you know,
But they want you, standing with them,
And I want you standing with me,
You were the people's champion,
You're Mark's champion,
You're my champion,
The Panthers can't be the Panthers without you,
You're wrong, Trevor,
It's the only thing they know how to be,
Panthers,
And I'm standing here, right beside you, my friend,
So you pick yourself up, you dust yourself off,
and you lead them,
And you take Mark with you,
Bulldog Bolton, standing side by side with his son,
And you let him know that you were always watching,
That you always saw him,
That you always loved him,
What you doing?
I'm,,,
I'm just,,,
How did my hero turn into you? Eh?
Mark! Son!
It wasn't Popsy,
What wasn't Popsy?
He didn't stop you wrestling all those years ago,
So who did?
It was me,
I told him not to put you in the ring,
You weren't ready,
I didn't wanna see you get hurt,
Well, I am,
And far worse than anyone could have hurt me in the ring,
No Mark yet?
Thought he'd have been first one here,
Don't worry, he'll be here,
Right, we're gonna begin your physical fitness assessment,
Right, Wilson, line them up!
Line them,,, They are lined up,
Surrender yourselves, please, to Mr, Ziggy Barrow,
Ziggy? What's Ziggy short for?
What are you short for, you territorial dancer?
I am not your friend,
Do not try and be my friend,
I don't like you, and I don't even know you,
I am not your priest, your confessor, or your confidante,
Huh?
You look like David Soul if he'd been a crack addict,
Like a beige lonely sparrow,
You, what are you wearing? A child's painting?
You, you've still got an imaginary friend, don't you, huh?
And even he doesn't like you, Cause look, he gave you that haircut,
You, I don't know what you've come as, but you are fabulous,
I just love everything about you, Just a toned thing of beauty,
A well-oiled machine,
You, you giant-sized mutant,
Conceived in Sellafield, huh?
Only need you if I want somebody to punch a horse,
And you,
You spell your name backwards in your head,
so you pretend you're deep,
Your dog nibble your ears every night, huh?
And you,,,
Kendo Nagasaka-shitty,
You look like a pumped fart,
I was just a wee bit sick in my mouth there,
That only ever happens
when I look at fat athletes,
What's he on about?
Whoo! Whoo!
Tony, hi, We're here,
- Oh, for God's sake, - What can I do?
You, pretty lady features!
Hey, Haggis!
Don't you talk to my angel like that, I am watching you,
Her, I like,
Popsy Wilson!
Wilson!
- I know it was you, - It was me what?
The TV executives didn't stop me wrestling,
No, it was you,
I'm off the clock, Jog on,
Look, me dad told me,
He said he told you not to put me in the ring,
The only place I've ever wanted to be,
You're a filthy dog, Popsy!
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
Come on, son, calm down,
- Calm down, lad, Calm down, Calm down, - No!
I couldn't argue with your dad,
And I'm sorry, Mark,
Were you all in on this?
How could youse?
Well, you're gonna make it up to me,
- All of you! - Anything,
- They're planning on closing The Nelson, - What?
Our pub,
They wanna close our pub,
- No way, They're not doing it, - No, no,
So we do this,
and every penny goes to the "Save the Nelson Fund,"
- Absolutely, yeah, - Except ice cream sales,
- No, what? - Come on,
Okay, including ice cream sales, Sorry,
The Ginger Storm, yeah,
has to be the greatest show of our lives,
It's not about lining your pockets, Wilson,
- Okay, - It's about saving our community,
Because if that pub goes,,,
we all go,
And then we're left with nothin',
Absolutely nothing,
It's not just about the ticket sales,
We can,,, We can sell merchandise,
Like T-shirts, and badges, and stuff like that,
And every penny can go towards The Nelson,
- Great idea, - Save The Nelson!
Save The Nelson!
Enough!
Jog,,,
- for The Nelson, - For the Nelson!
That's enough, Come on! With me! Let's go!
Go on,
God Almighty!
- Good, aren't they? - Oh, my good God,
I've seen pensioners run better than this,
A few of them are, nearly, Huh? Eh?
Come on, Tony! Come on, Tony!
Well done, well done, well done,
Well done, Dawn,
Oh, good, Come on, come on,
Well done, well done,
- That's his son, - Piss off,
The only thing that this lot is gonna be ready for
in three weeks is another portion of pie and chips and kebab,
Blow yourself, honey bunny,
That's the universe pissing on you,
Here, Here,
Ah! You,,,
I meant that, I meant that!
This is ridiculous, Can't train in this field,
We're gonna need some proper digs,
Where am I supposed to magic that from, Mark?
Dawn,
Gents,,,
come with me,
We need to get those down for starters,
Right, where do you want it?
- Oh! - Oh!
Oi!
How many times you need telling?
What are you on about, mate? We're supposed to be doing this,
Don't believe us? Ask your mates, They're all in there,
Ask them, they'll tell you, you div,
- I'll do you, you little wazzock, - Whatever, granddad,
No, no, no, no,
Oi, you Judas Priests,
Oi, you can put that paint down, you bunch of traitors,
I'm gonna burn this place down, you lot, Wayne, let's go now,
No, no, no, no, he,,, he don't need to go,
- You what? - She said he don't need to come with you,
They've seen the light, Rickson, They ride with the Panthers now,
Ride with the Panthers?
Sounds like a bender band,
No offense, Dawn,
None taken,
It's your sequel, mate,
- I need me bike, I need,,, - Walk,
Try and Houdini your way out of that one,
- Can I just get me bike? Me bike? - Walk! Walk!
That's the last Dawn he's gonna see,
Listen, I'm gonna let you go now, All right?
If I have to grips you up again, I will Boston crab your arse,
- All right, - Bye-bye, Rickson,
In a bit, mate,
- You're all dead, man! - See you, Ricky,
"D-E",,,
Oh, no, no, no,
Help me, please,
You broke us '99,
- Fannies, - You can bloody pay for this, Rickson!
You tosser,
Look at that,
- Bloody hell, - Don't worry, Come on,
What's this?
You know what it is,
All right, What's it for? Indulge me,
You get some sort of kick out of this, don't you?
Eh,
Margaret and I are buying The Nelson for Mark,
- Keep it going, - Well, isn't that just sweet,
Come on, Paul,
Let's get this thing done,
You can't buy the pub because you work for the brewery,
It's against protocol, you know that,
Then I'll resign,
Well, I'll need that in writing,
My goodness, you are prepared today, aren't you?
Thank you, Trevor,
So we're buying The Nelson,
and then me and you are done,
Yes,
Yes, we are,
But no, you're not buying The Nelson,
You see, this check is for 110 grand,
- It's the asking price, - Yes,
But the Bowers' offer,,,
is 137,500 English pounds,
Forgive me for being presumptive,
but I'm leaning towards the fact
that you haven't got another 30 grand secreted about your person today?
Yes?
You see, this,,,
just isn't enough,
Shame,
I told you I wasn't gonna let someone like you stand in my way, Trevor,
And I really did mean that,
- That all? - You,,,
- So you got Glenn? - Mm-hmm,
- Sweet Cheeks? - Yep,
Yeah, Lara's letting him do it,
- Yeah? - Yep,
- Yeah, she is, - That's great,
All right, Dad?
What you doing here, Mark?
Trevor,
What, can't I,,, can't I visit me mum and dad anymore?
I thought you might fancy a pint,
Where? I'm barred from your place,
Yeah, well, as the landlord, I'm unbarring you,
You know, we've, uh,,,
we've got a plan to save the pub, and we need you, Dad,
There's no saving The Nelson, Peterson's made his mind up,
Right then, Well, listen to what your son has to say,
I don't need to listen! I know what the plan is,
They're all completely mad,
You wanted to stop him wrestling just as much as I did,
Yes, well, the difference now, Trevor,
is that we'd be more worried about you getting hurt than Mark,
It's all right, Mum, I'm not gonna beg him,
I'm not a kid anymore,
And you're not the man I thought you was,
You stood up at Ginger's wake, and you told everyone
that he'd given me everything a father was obliged to give,
Everything you hadn't given me,
And then you raised a glass to our dead mate, and you drank to that,
You knew how much he meant to me,
You know, and now he's gone,,,
and you still can't take the baton, can you?
Do you know what? Sometimes I wish Ginger was me dad,
No offense, Mum,
Come on, let's go,
- Where you going? - For a fucking pint,
Jesus,
♪ What do you know ♪
♪ What do you feel ♪
♪ What do you give ♪
♪ When your heart is empty? ♪
♪ What do you see ♪
♪ Nothing is real ♪
♪ How can you live ♪
♪ When your heart is empty? ♪
♪ And the grass seems greener over there ♪
♪ The people stop, they stop and stare at you ♪
♪ And look right through ♪
♪ And what you'd give for just one night ♪
♪ Show them all you've got some fight in you ♪
♪ The fight's still in you ♪
♪ Let's go back ♪
♪ To the beginning ♪
♪ Let's go back ♪
♪ To when we were winning ♪
♪ Is there a chance,,, ♪
- Oh, - ♪ A chance to start over? ♪♪
We're all rooting for you, Mark,
I mean, we're rooting for all of us,
Thanks, Dawn,
It means a lot,
Come on,
What's going on?
You must be here for the Ginger Storm,
I figure, if we're gonna do this, we go all in,
No prisoners,
Go on, Mark,
If you still want me to lead this motley crew,,,
it would be an honor,
Old times, Bulldog?
Old times, Gladiator,
No pissing about, mind,
We do this proper,
We train hard, It's not gonna be easy,
We're trying to turn the clock back nearly 30 bleedin' years,
So no half-arsed bollocks, right?
Right,
Son of Bulldog,
- Your time has come, pal, - Go on, go for it, lad,
- Go and get some, - Get in there, son, Go on,
This is it, Mark,
This is how it should have always been,
Go for it, Mark,
Come on!
- You ready for this? - Are you,,,
ready for this?
Ooh, that's ready,
Go on, Mark!
Go on, catch him, Mark!
Mix your movements, he's starting,,,
I love you, son,
Eh?
I've got a little news for you,
It seems that your reunion
has garnered interest from across the seas,
Meaning?
Meaning, you're like famous and that,
- Like proper famous, - You're everywhere, Look at this,
Look how many followers you got here,
- Is that really me? - Oh, that's,,,
You've got over three million views,
You've thousands of likes in Australia,
Gone sat-digital,
So, um,,,
What's the catch?
When is this all gonna go wrong?
There's no catch, Dawn,
Apart from you, of course,
♪ A new royal family, a wild nobility ♪
♪ We are the family ♪
You see the fall? You see the,,,
Look at that, That's homemade, That's proper homemade, that,
Dawn! Yes! Hot off the press,
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
Yes!
- Get it, Yeah, that's it, - Turn me,
- Easy! Easy! Easy! - Yeah, yeah, I am,
Time of the essence,
Oh! Mum,
Not a bloody word, you big jessie, You'll be fine,
And I know we're not as agile as we once were,
but we're gonna give it a bloody good go,
But one amongst us has to learn something new,
We need a Bob Dylan,
What's a Bob Dylan, Dad?
It's a villain, Mark,
Every story needs one,
You all know that, and so does the crowd,
We need somebody to play the bad guy,
- Or girl, - I might be bad, Trevor,
but I'm not that kind of bad,
I've got blond hair and blue eyes,
I wear gold, I'm personification of goodness,
Tony, you might have been transported here on wings of angels,
but that doesn't change the fact that for this thing to work,
somebody has to be bad,
- Jolly Roger, - Got it,
- The Prince of Darkness, Arse Vader, - Pope John Brawl II,
- Backstreet Bandit, - Locked up,
- Busty Malone? - Knuckles Nicholson,
- Turnbuckle Tommy Turgoose, - He's dead,
- What about you? - Yeah, Yeah,
Me? Forget it,
The Bulldog wouldn't go bad,
Neither would his tag partner,
You've got no chance,
We've got shiny bomber jackets,
with cartoon bulldogs doing the pose and everything,
There is one,
Lesley Beck,
- Are you off your head? - No,
When was the last time we saw Lesley Beck?
He went mad when we got taken off the air,
What do you mean, "went"? He always was mad,
Remember when he ate that badger pelt
- and coughed up hair balls all over Rollerball Rocco? - Rocco, aye,
- Crackers, - Yeah, bollocks to the badger pelt,
Do you remember when he brought that Shetland pony into the ring
and punched it just to upset kids?
Out of order,
Is he even still alive anyway?
Oh yeah, he's alive all right,
Even death couldn't take that one,
Well, there's only one way to find out,
Oh, you can't be serious,
He'll eat me for his supper,
Trevor, I've got promotion to do,
- We've gotta get out there and,,, - It's your show, you go,
- Yeah, - What he said,
Right, Very well,
Then I shall throw myself on a grenade to save this battalion,
But I want close protection,
I do not believe you, Cliff Morris,
It's what you do, isn't it?
Well, "A," I would not get my sleek Jag down to that farm,
and two, I'll already be protecting somebody else,
You don't know when I'm going,
- You go tomorrow, - Exactly,
And I'll be closely protecting somebody else tomorrow,
All day,
Rickson's put a dent in our van, Wilson,
That's on you,
And you can replace our '99,
- I didn't ask for this, - Neither did we,
Driving out to the Yorkshire Moors to a psychopath's pig farm,
I cannot stand pigs,
I hate them, With their snouts and trotters,
They're so oinky,
Oinky?
Yes, oinky!
That's it, Beck Farm,
Oh, can't we turn back?
I mean, the house is scary enough,
We've come this far,
We need him, Popsy, Trevor's right,
Can't one of youse be bad? Please?
Just for one night, be the bad guy?
Just open the gate,
How about you open the gate and I'll drive the van in?
Nobody, I repeat, nobody drives this ice cream van
except me or me brother,
Now get out and open that gate,
Or shall we throw you out and leave you here?
All right,
Oh God, Bloody leg,
Bloody hurry up!
Of course, A spooky creak,
Come on, Hurry up,
Wait, wait, Wait!
Go, go, go, go, go,
Yes, very funny, Just stop the van, For Christ's sake!
Go on, again, Again, again, again,
Oh, he's not happy,
He runs like a duck,
Come on, you Smurf,
Just wait,
Pair of Dixons, Come on,
- Come on, Pops, - Don't be so soft, Get in,
Hilarious,
Close the window,
- So mature, - Shut up,
What a couple of cards the Dixon Brothers are,
- Turn back, - Why?
Because that suggests that it might be a good idea,
Behave, We're not trespassing,
Oh, what? He sent you a scented invitation, did he?
- Look, you, We're here because,,, - I know why we're here!
And I just wish,,,
Jesus, Mary, Joseph!
- What was that? - A pig, We've hit a bastard pig!
Calm down! Just calm down!
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
You,
You in the ice cream van,
You owe me a sow,
Do you think they'll be all right, Dad?
They'll be fine, son,
Those Dixon Brothers might be gentle giants,
but they'll have Popsy's back,
I hope you're right, Dad,
- Oh, my God, - What is it?
- They've killed a copper, - What?
Two sugars,
One,
None in that one,
Thanks, Mr Beck, And sorry about the,,, you know,
It just,,, It just came out of nowhere,
Yeah, we're sorry about that,
Not "that," Or "it,"
She,
Belinda,
A beautiful sow,
No prizewinner,
but those magnificent teats have suckled a few,
I hope I'm right in thinking you didn't drive out here
all purposeful to murder a pig?
- No, - No, No,
So why are you here?
Well,,,
Hold on, Dawn, Watch me personal space,
Cliff, Just,,,
I'm trying to, but something's gonna give,
It's gonna go, Wait a minute, will you?
Boo!
Lesley Beck,
- I'm Mark,,, - Mark Bolton,
We met, lad, many times,
Yea high, last time I saw you,
Always trying to get your moves seen by your dad over there,
Quite rightly lodged yourself firmly under Ginger's wing,
He saw you,
He were a good man,
God rest his soul,
Is that the original?
Aye, Only ever had the one,
Witnessed 40 years of terror,
through these eyelets,
Boo!
Around 27 pubs a week are closing across the UK,
with that number set to rise,
Some, however, will not go without a fight,
Quite literally in the case of The Half Nelson in West Yorkshire,
A group of ex-wrestlers known as the Panthers
are staging a battle royale
in an attempt to save their pub from being demolished,
A video showing the Panthers dust off their moves
to "Get Their Grapple On" has gone viral,
The clip captured the imagination of millions
and inspired the promoter, Popsy Wilson,
to put on the fund-raiser dubbed the "Ginger Storm," The wrestlers,,,
Who signed off on closing The Half Nelson?
That'll be Paul Peterson, Miss Winters,
It's another Bowers deal,
A Peterson and Bowers deal, What a surprise,
It would be a bloody shame,
- What would? - To lose The Nelson,
Set up a meeting with the board,
And get me four tickets to the Ginger Storm,
- The wrestling? - Yes! The bloody wrestling,
Terry, Never shake my hand, Snap-snap, it's all over,
Look, Good lad,
Keep your eyes on our friend here,
All right, he's,,,
Lesley, this is Terry, Terry,
- I can't, - Shake the man's hand, What's up with you?
- Come on, son, - Come on, Mark,
Come on, come on,
Son, All right,
- Come on, - Let him go,
That's all right, son, Come on,
It's all right, Mark,
- Just relax, You'll get it, - You can do it, man,
How,,, How do you do the grab? How'd you get the grab?
So you get the head under there like that,,,
- Yeah? - ,,,and then you interlock the hands,
And then you sit up proud and show him off, Look at that!
Look what I've got, Easy,
Sorry, son,
Come on, Mark, Just relax, Relax,
That's it,
- Ah yes! - No! No!
Easy! Easy!
Easy on him, Cliff, Easy on him,
It's okay, son,
No, you were right, Dad,
You were right not to put me in the ring,
You know, I can't do it, I'm an embarrassment,
To all of you,
I'm no Panther,
- Mark! - Let the lad go,
All right, knobhead?
Piss off,
What's up with you?
I've heard you're a right little grappler,
You heard wrong,
No, seriously, what's up with you?
The whole town's buzzing about this wrestling malarkey,
Even I am a little tiny bit,
Well, you can take my place, then,
Probably even better than me with that foot,
Yeah, I probably am,
Why don't I help you?
Keep you focused,
I know a bit of oregano, Get you ready for the canvas and that,
How do I turn that frown upside down?
I just,,,
can't bring back the old school,
Do you know what I mean?
Just can't summon it,
You can't summon it?
Oh, right, then we're bollocksed then, aren't we?
Look, forget about the old school,
Get up off your arse and welcome to the new school,
of Ricky "Bastard" Rickson,
Follow me,
Push me a minute,
There you are, There you go, Limber, limber!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Big boy squat, Big boy squat,
Right then,
- That's it, that's it, - Now can we go?
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay, Mark!
- One! - Two!
Two!
Go on,
Usain Bolton, Let's do this!
Down the slide,
That rope, right up,
Ah, that's it, that's it,
There you are,
You got it, man,
You gotta get yourself into them little tight spots, You've got it,
♪ Standing so tall ♪
♪ You are gold ♪
♪ Always believe in your soul ♪
♪ You've got the power to know ♪
♪ You're indestructible ♪
♪ Always believing ♪
♪ 'Cause you are gold ♪
♪ I'm glad that you're bound to return ♪
♪ Something I could have learned ♪
♪ You're indestructible ♪
♪ Always believing,,, ♪
Ooh,
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, - ♪ After the rush has gone ♪
♪ I hope you find a little more time,,, ♪
Bloody hell,
♪ It's only two years ago ♪
♪ The man with the suit and the face ♪
♪ You knew he was there on the case,,, ♪
- Oh, my God! - What?
Tickets have sold out!
♪ And you could leave me standing so tall,,, ♪
Woo-hoo, Tony!
♪ You are gold ♪
♪ Always believe in your soul ♪
♪ You've got the power to know,,, ♪
And,,, there we go!
♪ Always believing, 'cause you are gold,,, ♪
I've brought vitamin C,
and I've got you some bananas for your strength,
Panthers! Panthers! Panthers!
♪ Always believing,,, ♪
I can hold you,
Got you,
Hurry up, lad, I'm getting older!
Come on, you got this,
Keep up!
Get up, Mark,
- Come past, - I can't, I can't, I can't,
♪ My love is like a high prison wall ♪
♪ But you could leave me standing so tall,,, ♪
Nearly got you there, lad,
A half nelson, A full nelson,
Come on, Rickson! I'll smash the granny out of you!
♪ You've got the power to know ♪
♪ You're indestructible ♪
You've got it, mate! You've got it!
♪ 'Cause you are gold ♪
♪ I'm glad that you're bound to return,,, ♪
My best mate, he is,
♪ Back in a blur ♪
♪ You're indestructible ♪♪
It's all all right, The pub is safe, We're fine,
Machine, Shaneequa,
Ginger Storm! Ginger Storm! Ginger Storm! Ginger Storm!
He's done it! He's only gone and done it!
He's gone and done it! He's only gone and done it!
I did it, I did it, I did it!
- I knew you'd do it, - Thanks, lad, Thanks,
It's time,
It might make you a bit gassy,
Jesus, I bet they're dreaming,
Are you sure about this, son?
Oh, he's got it,
Yes, you little toe-rag,
I do believe he has,
Whoa!
♪ I wake up, check my phone ♪
♪ Jump in my whip and off I go ♪
♪ I pay off the police to stay out of my way ♪
♪ I got it all sewn up and I'm kingpin for a day ♪
♪ I got the blues, I got the reds ♪
♪ Yellow-tops and spider legs ♪
♪ You'd swear it's from Heaven, but it all grows naturally ♪
♪ I got it all right here and I'm kingpin for a day ♪
- ♪ When you're a kingpin,,, ♪ - Mr, Wilson?
Yeah, we're here, We're here, The waiting is over,
♪ People wanna take you down ♪
Oh, my God,
- ♪ When you're a kingpin,,, ♪ - It's time,
♪ Nobody shows, nobody shows you how,,, ♪
Panthers, Panthers, Panthers!
It's Saturday afternoon,
It's 4:00 PM,
It's grapple time!
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,,,
welcome to the Ginger Storm!
Hush your noise, Be quiet now, Ooh,
I've only got one more word for you,
Easy,
Easy! Easy! Easy!
Easy! Easy! Easy! Easy! Easy! Easy! Easy! Easy!
Would you please welcome, one hulk of a man,
it's only "Screwball" Danny Dixon!
I'm ready for you,
Go on, Get out of way, woman,
Don't you hurt my Glenn, you big girl's blouse,
For the challenge of bout number one,,,
would you please welcome,,,
"Gladiator" Glenn Higgins!
Easy!
I can't believe I never got a beard net,
Oh, no, wait, look,,,
what I got for you, broski, Look at that,
That belonged to my granddad, though,
Oh, Uh,,,
I,,, I don't wanna sound ungrateful,
but I don't,,, I don't think I want
a dead man's beard net,
He's not dead, Terry,
I nicked it off him while he were sleeping,
- How's your knee? - It'll hold,
Get back in there, you bloody soft lad, He's lame,
Boo!
My bollocks,
- One! - I'm not on your bollocks,
- I know you're not, - Two!
They're hanging out the back of my leotard,
Three!
I'm not wrong,
Oi, Gladiator!
Nobody takes my brother down,
- Yes! - One!
- Got him! - Two!
One! Two! Three! He's out!
- Hail Scissor indeed, - I'm sorry,
We have a champion,
Gladiator Glenn Higgins!
- But behold,,, - Give your mum a kiss,
,,,Zulu Dawn!
Zulu! Zulu! Zulu! Zulu!
You're going down, Zulu!
Going down!
Ooh,
Come here,
Cliff has not trained us for this,
- No, I'm not,,, I'm not prepared to see it,,, - Cliff's not taught us that,
,,,let alone react to it, I don't like it,
It's over, It's over,
You won, It's over,
It appears that Rorke's Drift,
has triumphed over Pompeii!
Zulu Dawn is the victor!
And up the temperature now,
Would you please welcome Tony "Sweet Cheeks" Smith,
Come,,, ooh!
Yes!
And now, the one, the only,
Lara "Liplock" Anderson,
♪ Submit to my love ♪
♪ On your back, on your front ♪
♪ On all fours, fours, fours ♪
♪ Submit to my love ♪
♪ On your back, on your front ♪
♪ On all fours, fours, fours,,, ♪
Boo!
Get a life,
Showtime, Come on,
♪ Submit to my love ♪
♪ On your back, on your front,,, ♪
Tony, get him out!
♪ On all fours, fours, fours,,, ♪
Down,
Watch it, you, Down,
One! Two!
Right, Come here, cowboy,
Wait till I get my hands on you!
Come here, you freak!
Ladies, enough!
What is it? What is it, Tony?
I love you,
What?
I love you, Gloria Giles,
and I love Tony Junior,
You're everything a man could wish for,
Do you think we could be a family?
I believe destiny says it can be,,,
You twat!
♪ On your back, on your front ♪
Piss off!
- ♪ Submit to my love,,, ♪ - Oh! She's back!
Come on, Come on,
Thank you very much, my friend, Right, I'm in, Okay, here we go,
Watch and learn, Right, verbals and violence,
The two "V's,"
Who's slipped himself under the bottom rope?
Ooh, it's Cliff "Edge" Morris,
- Amateur bullshit! - Ah, man trouble?
Daddy! Daddy!
Hi, Daddy,
Aww,
Piss off, Morris,
Oh, my God,
I sense a presence,
Ooh,
Ladies and gentlemen, I,,,
Oh, that's brilliant,
I can't exactly give you a menacing introduction,
with that hideous creature running about the place,
From the Seventh Circle of Hell,
it's Lesley Beck,
Look after him, Otherwise you'll have me to answer to,
One and all, come one, come all,
Come on,
That wall first,
Oh, bloody hell,
I don't wanna fight you, Here, just have belt,
- Fight me for it! - Fight him!
- Fight him for it! - No, No, it's past me bedtime,
- Have it! - Get off of me!
Have it, I'm not fighting you,
- Come on, you wanker, - See you next time, Enjoy it,
With no more challengers,,,
we've got ourselves a new champion,
Lesley Beck!
Correction, Popsy Wilson,
Challengers remain!
It's Trevor "Bulldog" Bolton!
Yeah!
Come on! Let's be havin' you!
You might as well give up now,
'cause you'll never beat me on your own,
Who said he was on his own?
Lesley Beck, meet "Son of Bulldog"
Mark Bolton!
I'm coming for you, Lesley Beck!
Yes!
- I love you, Mark Bolton, - Good job, son,
Hello, love,
Son of Bulldog!
Was it the violence or the lady?
It was too much violences,
Everywhere you look, violences,
- Where have his testicles gone? - Oh, keep wafting,
Keep wafting, Terry,
Oh, I've got me sight back, anyway, That's a bonus,
Lesley,
What are you doing?
You are nowt but a pup,
- and a runt at that, - Yeah?
I'll show you who's a pup,
Mum, take me coat,
You went a bit off script there, didn't you, Lesley?
That on script enough for you?
- You've done it! You've done it! - Go on, son,
- His mask! - You did it, Bulldog!
- You're all right, love, - It's proper blood, innit?
Stay calm, Oi! That is my son!
- What, this one? - Yes,
Right,
- All right, mother? - Trevor!
Go on, Dad,
You need to work as a pair,
you and your boy, to beat me, Bolton,
Be honest with me, Are they swollen?
- Mm, I don't think they're swollen, Cliff, - Eh?
They're still,,, They're still very little, They're,,,
- Eh? - ,,,sm,,,
They're,,, They're,,, They're very nice, Cliff,
Go on, lad, Go on, Mark,
Sweet!
Oh, you,,,
Right, Mark, You're doing all right, bud, but you gotta get up,
Who might you be, shithouse?
I'm Ricky "Bastard" Rickson, you greasy bell-end,
All right, finish him off, Mark,
- Nice one, Ricky, - Thank you,
I've told you before, Now get over it,
That's cheating! That crazy guy!
Easy! Easy! Easy!
For Ginger!
One!
Two!
Three!
Your saviors of The Half Nelson,,,
The Panthers!
For Ginger, For The Half Nelson,
Panthers! Panthers!
Who's that now?
Hi, Mum,
No, I can't talk at the moment! I'm doing close protection, aren't I?
What, granddad's beard net?
No, I ain't seen that at all, no, no,
Oh, sorry, Mum, I'm lying to you, I can't lie to you,
I do know where it is, I borrowed it for camouflage purposes,
What's he doing awake anyway?
Cliff!
♪ Try if you can ♪
♪ To walk like a man ♪
♪ But you, you don't come near ♪
♪ You've got to fly like an eagle ♪
♪ Prowl like a lion in Africa ♪
♪ Leap like a salmon home from the sea ♪
♪ To keep up with me ♪
♪ You've got to walk like a panther tonight ♪
♪ Walk like a panther tonight ♪
♪ You've gotta walk like a,,, ♪♪
You! What are you playing at, you big divvy?
You're not doing this! What are you doing?
What's going on here, eh?
Move, you minute maniac,
I won't move anywhere, None of us are moving anywhere, mate,
This is our pub! Do you hear me? This is our pub!
Mum! Mum! Come here! Quick! Hurry up! Help us out!
All of youse, come here! Get here!
We're not moving, We're not moving, We're not moving,
Someone knock this bastard pub down,
I'm in charge here,
It appears you're not, Winters is coming,
Oh, you must be,,, Janet!
Shut up, you rancid tosser, Apologize,
- I'm sorry, - Not to me, to them,
- Sorry, - Louder,
- Sorry, - For what?
Sorry that I tried to knock your pub down,
Yeah, right,
Your pub, Exactly, Your pub,
The Half Nelson is now a community pub,
which means it belongs to you, All of you,
My gift to the Panthers,
Look after her,
Bollocks,
You, you're fired,
Miss Winters, Miss Winters, Thank you,
God, I bloody love wrestling,
- Have at him, ladies, - Right,
- Oi! - You twat,
All in, All in,
Panthers! Panthers! Panthers!
Mark,
What's that?
This is the fund for The Nelson,
How much is in it?
Enough,
Mark Bolton?
Uh, yeah, Who wants to know?
Look, your,,, your boss has already been, mate,
She,,, She said we can have the pub,
We're here for you, Mark,
Not the pub,
- Well, who are you then? - Scouts,
I am, yeah, And proud, mate,
- Not Scouse, Scouts, - Scouts,
- Wrestling scouts? - Yes, Mark,
Oh, Mum!
- I'm gonna need a manager, - And I am gonna need this,
I'm gonna be a wrestler!
I've done it!
♪ Kingpin on a cutback ♪
♪ With sunken eyes ♪
♪ Big cheese in a bedsit ♪
♪ A big cheese in a bedsit ♪
♪ A shit disguise,,, ♪
♪ Stick and move, they say ♪
♪ You want to try me? ♪
♪ You should have left me ♪
♪ Just where you found me ♪
♪ See, you're dreaming, thinking it could be ♪
♪ You'll have to trust me ♪
♪ Just don't believe me ♪
♪ Reap,,, ♪
♪ What you sow ♪
♪ Comeback kid ♪
♪ Says hello ♪
♪ And here ♪
♪ Here we stand ♪
♪ Side by side ♪
♪ Don't let go,,, ♪
There's enough wrestling for everybody,
- In you go, mate, Get out the way, - It's okay,
♪ Reap what you sow ♪
♪ Comeback kid ♪
♪ Says hello ♪
Panthers!
This is for you!
That's our son!
♪ Side by side ♪
♪ Don't let go ♪
♪ Here am I ♪
♪ I'm high up on a ledge ♪
♪ I'm standing on the edge ♪
♪ I'm hiding alone in some town ♪
♪ Where love has been and gone ♪
♪ I'm waiting for the storm to come back ♪
♪ And take me down ♪
♪ The things I left unsaid ♪
♪ When lying on the bed ♪
♪ Right next to the face you wore ♪
♪ When you left me on my one ♪
♪ Now I've been on my own ♪
♪ And I must say ♪
♪ I didn't come here to make up your mind ♪
♪ I do believe that you were wasting my time ♪
♪ There's no more tears left to cry myself blind ♪
♪ If love is the law ♪
♪ Then this is a crime ♪
♪ Memories ♪
♪ Forever set in stone ♪
♪ When all is said and done ♪
♪ They're just like the fallen leaves ♪
♪ Together in your head ♪
♪ The sun's about to set ♪
♪ I sail out on stormy seas ♪
♪ But I cannot find the shore ♪
♪ Can't hear you any more ♪
♪ And there's nothing left for me ♪
♪ Lying broken on the glass ♪
♪ And the ship's about to crash ♪
♪ And I must say ♪
♪ I didn't come here to make up your mind ♪
♪ I do believe that you were wasting my time ♪
♪ There's no more tears left to cry myself blind ♪
♪ If love is the law ♪
♪ Then this is a crime ♪
♪ I didn't come here to make up your mind ♪
♪ I do believe that you were wasting my time ♪
♪ There's no more tears left to cry myself blind ♪
♪ If love is the law ♪
♪ Then this is a crime ♪
♪ There's an aching in my bones ♪
♪ I feel a pounding in my heart ♪
♪ Nostalgia coursing through my veins ♪
♪ It's time for this comeback to start ♪
♪ Pushing to the limits ♪
♪ It's a punishing ordeal ♪
♪ It's all or nothing now ♪
♪ This time I know it's for real ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm back in the game ♪
♪ People say I'm insane ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm staking my claim ♪
♪ And I'll rise once again ♪
♪ Yes, I'm back in the game ♪
♪ Holding you in a nelson ♪
♪ Your feet stomping on the ground ♪
♪ Tie you up in a Boston crab ♪
♪ Take your title in three rounds ♪
♪ Tell me, who's the daddy? ♪
♪ Who's the top of the grapple tree? ♪
♪ I'll body-block your bulky frame ♪
♪ It's easy, easy, easy ♪
♪ Back in the game ♪
♪ Body pumped like a train ♪
♪ Opponents, they will be slain ♪
♪ This phoenix rises again ♪
♪ Yes, I'm back in the game ♪