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* WELL, WELL, HERE WE ARE *
* YEAH, YEAH, WE'RE GOIN' FAR *
* DON'T MATTER WHAT THEY PUT US THROUGH *
* DON'T MATTER D-D-D-DON'T MATTER *
* CHECK OUT ALL OUR SKILLS *
* WE'LL MAKE SOME DOLLAR BILLS *
* DOIN' JUST WHAT WE LIKE TO DO *
* HEY, HEY, HEY
-* WE'RE SUPERSTARS -* HEY
-* WE'RE DOIN' IT, DOIN' IT LIKE SUPERSTARS * -* HEY
* AIN'T NOTHIN' TO STOP US
* YEAH, WE'RE GONNA CHANGE HISTORY *
* 'CAUSE WE COULD DO ANYTHING LIKE SUPERSTARS *
* HEY, HEY SUPER, SUPERSTARS *
-* HEY, HEY -* WE'RE SUPERSTARS
-* HEY -* HEY, HEY
* WE'RE S-SUPERSTARS
-* HEY, HEY -* HEY, HEY
* NOW, NOW, WE'RE COMIN' ROUND *
* THERE'S SOMETHING GOIN' DOWN *
* YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE ABOUT TO BRING *
* YOU KNOW, YOU-YOU YOU KNOW IT *
* HEY, WORLD, THE COAST IS CLEAR *
* WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO FEAR?
* WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH EVERYTHING *
- * WE'RE SUPERSTARS - * HEY
* WE'RE DOIN' IT, WE'RE DOIN' IT LIKE SUPERSTARS *
-* HEY -* AIN'T NOTHIN' TO STOP US
* YEAH, WE'RE GONNA CHANGE HISTORY *
* 'CAUSE WE'RE CAN DO ANYTHING LIKE SUPERSTARS *
-* HEY, HEY -* SUPER, SUPERSTARS
-* HEY, HEY -* SUPER, SUPER, SUPERSTARS
* HEY, HEY
* S-S-S-SUPERSTARS
-* HEY, HEY -* SUPER, SUPERSTARS
-* HEY -* ALL AROUND THE WORLD
* WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH EVERYTHING *
* WE'RE SUPER,,,
-* WE'RE SUPERSTARS -* HEY
* WE'RE DOIN' IT, WE'RE DOIN' IT *
-* LIKE SUPERSTARS -* HEY
* AIN'T NOTHIN' TO STOP US
* YEAH, WE'RE GONNA CHANGE HISTORY *
* 'CAUSE WE CAN DO ANYTHING LIKE SUPERSTARS,,, *
[MAN] ASHLEY,
HERE'S THE THING,
I THINK ABOUT YOU
EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY
-[RECORD NEEDLE SCRATCHING] -UH!
-UH,,,WILL YOU MARRY ME? -[GIGGLING]
YES,
CONGRATULATIONS,
ARE YOU OKAY?
YEAH, MM-HMM,
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
WELL, YOUR ANALYSIS OF THE NIGHT,
MODERATELY OUTLINES HIS IMPRESSIVE MILITARY CAREER,
I MEAN, YOU'RE GETTING PIECES OF HOW ROMANTIC HE IS,
-BUT YOU'RE JUST-- -I NEED YOU,
THERE'S A LINE, ANGELINA,
THE CHARACTER'S AMOROUS, SARAH, AND THIS IS CHAUCER,
SO, IF THIS IS YOUR THESIS,
YOU NEED TO FOCUS YOUR EXPLICATION
ON HIS UTOPIAN IDEALS,
NO, YOU CAN DO THIS, FOCUS,
-OFFICE HOURS ARE CLOSED, -[GIRLS GROAN]
I'VE GOT THE GOVERNORS BALL TONIGHT,
AND IT'S TIME TO SEAL THE DEAL,
FOR RING BEFORE SPRING FLING,
WELL, WHAT ABOUT TOMORROW?
CALI WILL POST MY HOURS,
-NOW, SHOO, -UH-AHH, FINE,
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[GUESTS CHATTERING]
-HI, MY LOVE, -HEY, BABY,
[GIGGLES]
-APPLE, -LET ME SEE, LET ME SEE,
-LET ME SEE, -[BOTH SQUEALING]
[BOTH GASPING]
NO, DON'T CRY, DON'T CRY,
DON'T CRY,
EVERYONE'S GONNA SEE,
YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN DREAMING OF THIS MOMENT
MY ENTIRE LIFE,
NOW IT'S RUINED,
EMILY,
I CAN FIX IT,
LET'S GO,
ONE SECOND,
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[SNAPPING FINGERS]
SHH,
IT'S THE END OF THE END,
NO, NO, NO, TRUST ME, TRUST ME, TRUST ME,
I CAN FIX IT,
-LET'S TAKE A SELFIE, -LET'S DO IT,
-OKAY, -READY?
-YES, -ONE, TWO,,,
[SHUTTER CLICKS]
-[ALL] AWE! -THAT'S WHEN I KNEW,
-AWESOME, -I WAS MADE FOR POLITICS,
[MUSIC PLAYING]
SAY, "CHEESE,"
CHEESE,
-[SHUTTER CLICKS] -CHEESE,
WHAT, WHAT'S YOUR ETHNICITY?
I CAN'T--
-HEY, APPLE, -THERE YOU ARE,
HERE I AM,
EMILY AND CHELSEY ARE ALREADY HERE,
HER RING IS SO BEAUTIFUL,
IT'S A PRINCESS CUT, WHICH IS REALLY NICE,
-[SIGHS HEAVILY] -BUT,,,
BUT, YOU PREFER A BRILLIANT CUT,
YOU DO LISTEN WHEN I HINT,
A HINT? HAH!
YOUR, UH, HINTS ARE ABOUT AS SUBTLE AS A JACKHAMMER,
BOOP,
SO, UH,
EVAN SAID IT WAS A LONG LINE TODAY AT THE OFFICE,
UH, YEAH, EVERYONE AT THE SCHOOL IS ALWAYS SO STRESSED,
HMM, IT IS GREENE,
WHATEVER,
GLAD I WAS ABLE TO STEAL YOU AWAY,
ALWAYS,
DANCE? OKAY,
-YES, -DON'T STEP ON MY TOES THIS TIME,
I NEVER STEP ON YOUR TOES,
HEY, BABE, I LEFT MY ECON NOTEBOOK AT YOUR FRAT,
SO I'M HEADED OVER TO GET IT,
OH! HEY, DERRICK, HEY, CHELSEY,
-HEY, -DERRICK, GET ME YOUR PAPER,
APPLE, WE HAVE AN AGREEMENT,
YOU WRITE MY PAPERS FOR ME,
AND I RUN AROUND WITH MY SHIRT OFF,
-THAT IS NOT OUR AGREEMENT, -YOU SAID IT,
-NEVER, -YOU SAID THAT,
WHAT, WHAT HAPPENED?
WAS THERE A FIRE?
YEAH, ONLY IN MY ROOM,
I BARELY MADE IT OUT ALIVE,
-ARE YOU OKAY? -[LAUGHS]
ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TAKING ME LITERALLY?
I'M GOING TO OXFORD,
YEAH, THEY DISBANDED THE RUGBY TEAM,
AND MY DAD'S HAVING ME TRANSFER,
YOU KNOW, YEAR OFF RUGBY AND THE NATIONAL TEAM
-WOULDN'T EVEN LOOK AT ME, -THAT'S RIDICULOUS,
APPARENTLY WE'RE BREAKING TITLE 9,
TITLE, TITLE 9,
WHERE THERE HAS TO BE AND EQUAL NUMBER
-OF MALE AND FEMALE SPORTS? -YEP, THAT'S THE ONE,
THAT'S IT? THAT'S NO PROBLEM, I CAN FIX IT,
NO, YOU CAN'T FIX IT, APPLE, YOU CAN'T FIX EVERYTHING,
YES, I CAN,
SO, OKAY, THE RUGBY TEAM
HAS A MINIMUM OF SEVEN PLAYERS ON THE FIELD, RIGHT?
SO WE NEED A SEVEN PLAYER FEMALE TEAM,
WE'LL GO WITH SOFTBALL,
-AH, BUT THEY'RE SO TOMBOY, -HMM,
WELL, VOLLEYBALL,
UGH, THEY'RE REALLY TALL, [GASPS] OH, I KNOW!
-APPLE, STOP, -UNPACK, UNPACK,
-PLEASE STOP, -UNPACK, UNPACK,
-WHAT'RE YOU DOING? -I AM GONNA MAKE,,,
-THE GYMNASTICS TEAM, -OH,
[LAUGHS]
THAT'S CUTE, THAT'S REALLY CUTE,
YOU KNOW, YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD FIXER, YOU REALLY ARE
AND I APPRECIATE YOU TRYING TO FIX THIS,
BUT, IT'S NOT EMILY'S NAIL,
OKAY, THIS IS REAL, APPLE,
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE NCAA,
LOOK, WE BOTH KNOW THAT YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE AT GREENE,
IT'S THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS UNIVERSITY IN THE COUNTRY,
AND YOUR PARENTS ARE LEGACIES
AND THEY DONATE THOUSANDS OF BOOKS A YEAR,
SO, YOU'RE HERE,
I HAD A PERFECT SAT, AND I WAS A GYMNAST,
WHEN YOU WERE 13,
YOU DON'T HAVE AN ATHLETIC BONE IN YOUR BODY,
YOU DROVE YOUR SOBRIETY'S ANNUAL 5K,
BECAUSE THEY NEEDED A SAFETY DRIVER,
YOU'RE SKINNY-FAT,
I'M SORRY, BUT SOMEONE HAD TO TELL YOU,
HERE'S THE TEST, READY?
-ONE, TWO, THREE,,, -STOP--
-NO, -EXACTLY,
-NO GYMNAST,,, -EXACTLY,
NO GYMNAST COULD CATCH THAT,
GYMNASTICS IS NOT A BALL SPORT,
COME HERE,
WE HAD A GREAT RUN,
YOU KNOW, AND I REALLY THOUGHT THAT YOU COULD BE THE ONE,
-I KNOW, -I THOUGHT YOU COULD, BUT, UM,,,
-TODD, -I GOTTA MOVE ON,
-TODD, -BOOP,
-NO, -HERE, OH,,,
-STOP DOING THAT, -TAKE THESE,
OKAY, WE'LL TALK LATER,
OKAY, GOOD RIDDANCE,
"COULD BE THE ONE"? I'M TOTALLY THE ONE,
MOVING TO OXFORD, [SCOFFS]
HE'S JUST IN SHOCK, RIGHT?
THE THING HE LOVES SECOND MOST IN THE WORLD
WAS JUST TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM,
IT'S GOTTA BE SHOCK, HE'S NOT LEAVING ME REALLY,
I THINK HIS PLANE LEFT THIS AFTERNOON,
ALL I'VE GOT TO DO IS FORM THE TEAM,
GET THE BUY-IN FROM THE ATHLETIC DIRECTOR, AND PETITION THE NCAA,
BING, BANG, DONE, RUGBY TEAM IS BACK, AND I'M ENGAGED,
SOCRATES, REALLY, ON THE "INTRO TO PHILOSOPHY" PAPER?
SO OBVIOUS,
YOU MIGHT AS WELL QUOTE MICKEY MOUSE
ON THE "INTRO TO DISNEY" PAPER,
JUST REDO IT,
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
EXCUSE ME,
HEY, HOW'S IT GOIN'?
OOH, FRAT GUYS, NO, FRAT GUYS ARE OUT,
GET MY BOYFRIEND BACK, I'll GET YOU AN "A,"
AH, I THINK I CAN FIND YOUR BOYFRIEND,
-MOVE ALONG, -AH, ALL RIGHT, HERE YOU GO,
"CHET WIDDINGTON,"
-[SIGHS] -[PEN SCRATCHING PAPER]
APPLE, THIS IS MY SIXTH DRAFT,
WELL, IT'S NOT COMPLETELY TERRIBLE,
-[SIGHS] -THIS IS,,,
THIS IS TERRIBLE,
BUT THIS IS,,,
JUST SO TERRIBLE,
MIT? ABSOLUTELY NOT,
GREENE STUDENTS ONLY, GET OUT OF HERE,
-[CELL PHONE RINGING] -OOH,
-BREAK, -OH, COME ON,
SERIOUSLY?
MAMA, THANK HEAVENS,
[MOM] HI, APPLE, SO, HE'S LEFT,
TODD'S FAMILY IS GREENE ELITE,
HE'S ALREADY UPPED YOUR IMAGE
BY STAYING WITH YOU THIS LONG,
WE COULDN'T EXPECT HIM TO LAST FOREVER,
WE COULDN'T? NO, MOM,
I'VE ALREADY STARTED THE PAPERWORK
FOR THE WOMEN'S GYMNASTIC TEAM,
HE'LL BE BACK, IT'S A NO-BRAINER,
[MOM] OH, APPLE, YOU CAN'T FIX THIS,
-YES, I CAN, -[MOM] LET IT GO,
SURE, WE GOT YOU INTO GREENE TO FIND A HUSBAND,
BUT OBVIOUSLY TODD JUST ISN'T THE ONE,
START LOOKING AT THE OTHER GUYS IN YOUR CLASSES,
FIGURE OUT WHO'S SINGLE,,,
MOM, I CAN BE MORE THAN A GIRLFRIEND,
[MOM] LET'S BE SERIOUS, WHAT HAVE YOU REALLY DONE
SINCE YOU'VE BEEN THERE?
I STARTED MY OWN BUSINESS GRADING STUDENTS PAPERS,
[MOM] HONEY, WE ARE MCCREIGHTON-HILL,
WE SENT YOU ALL THE ANSWER KEYS,
WELL, IT'S JUST WHO YOU ARE, HONEY,
A PRETTY PEPPY GIRL, EMBRACE IT,
FOCUS ON YOUR BUSINESS CLASSES NOT LIBERAL ARTS,
THEY'RE HAPPY MIDDLE CLASS,
DIXIE! GET OFF THE CHAISE LOUNGE!
I GOTTA GO, KISSES,
-N-NO, NO, MOM, -[DIAL TONE]
UH, A MINUTE 30,
YEP, A NEW RECORD,
I CAN BE MORE THAN A GIRLFRIEND,
ABSOLUTELY, YOU ARE GOING TO BE A WIFE,
WE SHOULD SET UP BETWEEN THE TWO TREES
USING SPACE OVER THERE,
-APPLE, -OH, EMILY,
-APPLE, -EMILY,
HOW ARE YOU?
THIS IS TANYA MY WEDDING COORDINATOR,
WE'RE MAPPING OUT SEATING ON THE QUAD,
-WE KNOW EACH OTHER, -SHE HAS ME ON RETAINER,
-OOH, -CAN'T WAIT FOR YOURS,
TODD MOVED TO OXFORD,
WHAT? BESTIES,
ENGLISH WEDDING ARE DIVINE,
AND, LEFT APPLE HERE,
OH, HONEY,
NO, NO, IT'S FINE,
IT'S FINE, AND I'VE GOT A MEETING TO RUN TO,
-OKAY, -OF COURSE YOU DO,
-BYE-BYE, -THAT'S IT, HONEY,
MAKE A NEW LIFE FOR YOURSELF,
MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING,
-ALTHOUGH YOUR PRESENTATION IS,,, -IMPECCABLE,
,,,DISTURBINGLY INFORMATIVE,
I CAN'T JUST FORM A VARSITY TEAM OUT OF THIN AIR,
BUT YOU HAVE A GYM JUST SITTING ON CAMPUS UNUSED,
PLUS, IT SAYS HERE IN THE NCAA MANUAL,
THAT ONCE THE GYMNASTICS ROSTER IS CERTIFIED ELIGIBLE,
THE RUGBY TEAM CAN BE BACK ON THE FIELD,
BING, BANG, DONE,
I'M SORRY, WHAT IS YOUR INTEREST IN THIS AGAIN?
MR, KELLY,,,
-MAY I CALL YOU PRESTON? -NO,
WE BOTH KNOW THAT RUGBY ALUMNI
MAKE UP THE SECOND LARGEST DONATION POOL
AT $255,692 A YEAR,
ARE YOU REALLY WILLING TO GIVE UP ALL THOSE DONORS
JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT ADHERING TO TITLE 9?
HOW WOULD, HOW DO YOU KNOW THE,
JUST THE EXACT AMOUNT?
YOUR FIREWALL IS JUNK, I HACKED IT--
I FOUND IT IN SECONDS,
LOOK, THESE ARE THE SIMPLE STEPS TO SUCCESS,
OKAY,
RECRUIT A TEAM, CERTIFY ELIGIBILITY,
PRACTICE, COMPETE,
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ALLOW ME TO START
THE WOMEN'S GYMNASTICS TEAM,
[LAUGHS] NO,
I WANT YOU TO GO,
NO, HE SAID ABSOLUTELY NOT
IN NO WAY WOULD HE ALLOW ME TO MAR HIS ATHLETIC LEGACY
WITH HAREBRAINED IDEA LIKE THIS,
-SO IT'S A MAYBE, -TOTALLY,
-ON TO PLAN B? -YAY! I LOVE PLAN B,
ALL RIGHT, WE START WITH RECRUITING,
SHOULD BE EASY, THERE'S GOT TO BE LOTS OF GYMNASTS AT GREENE,
THERE ARE NO GYMNASTS AT GREENE,
BUT WE FOUND 12 FORMER GYMNASTS IN THE DATABASE,
I KNOW, I TALKED TO ALL OF THEM,
ONLY EMILY SAID SHE WOULD ON THE TEAM
IF I AGREED TO HAND TIE 600 RIBBONS
ON HER WEDDING INVITATIONS,
ONE EVEN TOLD ME THAT I DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE HERE,
IT'S LIKE SHE CHANNELED MY MOTHER,
OH, BT-DUBBS, YOUR MOTHER CALLED,
-YEAH, HOW LONG? -15 SECONDS,
SHE SAID SHE WAS WONDERING
IF YOU HAD ANY POTENTIALS YET,
-FOR THE GYMNASTICS TEAM? -HUSBANDS,
OH, AND SHE WANTED TO REMIND YOU TO,
"GET OFF YOUR DUFF AND FIND A BOYFRIEND ALREADY,"
-STAKEOUT TRAINING? -YEP,
I NEED TO PRACTICE BEING STATUE STILL FOR HOURS ON END,
MY ROOMMATE IN THE CIA,
OH, SPEAKING OF WHICH,
GREENE STUDENTS ARE BUSY,
I THINK YOU SHOULD DO WHAT THE CIA DOES,,,
KILL PEOPLE,
NO, YOU LUNATIC,
WHEN THEY CAN'T FIND AN AGENT THEY MAKE ONE,
I DON'T KNOW ANYONE IN ROBOTICS,
NO, LIKE, AH-- [GROWLS]
FIND PEOPLE WITH GYMNASTICS-LIKE SKILLS,
[GASPS] AND THEN TURN THEM INTO GYMNASTS
AND MAKE THE TEAM IRRESISTIBLE,
EXACTLY,
[GASPS] LIKE A SECRET SOCIETY,
OOH, THAT'S EVEN BETTER,
I'll CALL IT "THE SKULLS,"
I THINK THAT'S ALREADY TAKEN,
FINE,
"THE SKILLS,"
MM,
THERE YOU GO,
GOGGLES,
-[CLICKS] ELECTRICAL HUMMING]
CALI, REALLY? PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO STARE,
-RUGBY GUYS? -YEAH,
I GOTTA SEE WHO'S LEFT TO MAKE SURE YOU'LL HAVE A TEAM,
THEY'LL ALL COME BACK ONCE OUR TEAM IS FORMED,
-ARE YOU SURE? -YES, ALL RIGHT,
ANGELINA RUBENS FORMER CIRQUE DU SOLEIL PERFORMER,
SHE TOOK OFF AFTER HIGH SCHOOL FOR TWO YEARS
-TO JOIN LIBRECON, -NO,
LET'S GET HER,
[CLICKS]
[LOWERS VOICE] ANGELINA, YOU HAVE BEEN REQUESTED TO JOIN
"THE SKILLS,"
SKILLS, SKILL, SKILLS,
FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE TOMBSTONE
OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR,
DOOR, DOOR, DOOR,
-GOT IT, -[LAUGHING]
HIGH-FIVE,
[APPLE] NEXT IS CASHEW,
A JUNIOR AND A SURFER GIRL,
-OOH, GOOD BALANCE, -MM-HMM, EXACTLY,
CASHEW IS HER NATIVE-AMERICAN NAME
BECAUSE THEY SAY SHE'S A REFINED NUT,
AND OF COURSE, EMILY,
A TWO-TIME NATIONAL DIVER
AND SHE DID GYMNASTICS WHEN SHE WAS LITTLE,
SHE MADE THE JV RATHER THAN THE VARSITY TEAM THIS YEAR THOUGH,
-SO SHE QUIT, -[BOTH CHUCKLE]
EVER SINCE DIDN'T GET TO FLIP,
I'VE GOT REBECCA MOORE,
AN AVID SNOW SKI JUMPER, GOES BY BECKY,
OH, I HEARD SHE ALMOST MADE IT
TO THE WINTER OLYMPICS,
THAT IS UNTIL HER FAMILY MOVED TO FLORIDA,
[GROANS]
HMM, COURTNEY CASTELLANOS,
A REAL GYMNAST,
THE ONLY ONE WE DIDN'T FIND IN OUR FIRST SEARCH,
SHE'S BEEN OUT OF THE SPORT FOR THREE YEARS NOW,
BUT CLAIMS TO BE AVIDLY PURSUING
RHYTHMIC GYMNASTICS,
PERFECT,
-MY PRECIOUS, -OH,
SORRY, SHE'S JUST SO PERFECT,
LET'S GET THE REST,
[MUSIC PLAYING]
40 TRANSFERS,
40 TRANSFERS!
I KNOW, BUT IN OUR DEFENSE,
ONLY ONE ACTUALLY TRANSFERRED
THE REST WE CALMED DOWN,
FROM GREENE TO BROWN JUST,,,
-[APPLE LAUGHS] -IT'S NOT FUNNY, APPLE,
-KIND OF-- -IT'S NOT FUNNY, APPLE,
-GREENE TO BROWN, -OH, BOY,,,
I COULD GO FOR A FREEZIE POP RIGHT NOW,
-CAN I ASK ABOUT THAT? -YEAH, I USED TO SMOKE,
AND THE FREEZIE POPS CALM ME DOWN,
-DOES IT ALWAYS WORK? -DO I HAVE A FREEZIE POP?
AM I CALM? NO!
-YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME, -PRESTON, I CARE,
IT'S MR, KELLY,
I CARE,
[CALI] SO HE'S NOT TOTALLY ON BOARD,
NO, NO, BUT WE MUST MOVE ON,
MEET THE TEAM, AND ESTABLISH ELIGIBILITY,
-ALL RIGHT, -[LAUGHS]
MM-HMM, MM-HMM,
-WHOA, -OH,
-I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, -DIDN'T ASK YOU THAT,
I LOVE TODD,
AM I ON A SECRET QUIZ SHOW OR IS THERE,,,
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
NO, OH, CRAZY TOWN,
MUST BE LIKE OXYGEN DEPLETION, RIGHT?
[EXHALES] I AM TOTALLY OKAY NOW,
YEAH, NO, YOU TOTALLY LOOK IT,
-HI, -HI,
-APPLE MCCREIGHTON-HILL, -WE'VE MET,
UH, WHEN YOU WOULDN'T LOOK AT MY PAPER,
MY NAME IS CHET,
-YOU'RE IN TODD'S FRAT? -YEAH,
AND ON THE RUGBY TEAM?
YEAH,
OKAY, WELL, I'VE GOT TO GO,
OKAY, UM, WELL, I'll SEE YOU AROUND,
OKAY, AHEM! AHEM!
I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK,
SO YOU HAVE THE HOTS FOR HIM,
WHAT? NO, I DON'T,
YES, YOU DO, BUT IT'S OKAY,
I HAVE BEEN SPYING ON THE RUGBY TEAM,
AND HE'S TRYING TO GET THE TEAM TOGETHER,
TODD, MY BOYFRIEND AND FUTURE HUSBAND
WHO IS HOT AND PERFECT,
SURE HE IS,,,
-LET'S MEET OUR TEAM, -[GROANS]
YOUR NEXT INITIATION TEST
-TO THE SKILLS,,, -SKILLS, SKILLS, SKILLS,
ATHLETIC APTITUDE,
-TITUDE, TITUDE,,, -SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH,
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[STRAINING]
UGH!
AHH!
YEAH, I THINK WE HAVE SOMETHING TO WORK WITH,
YEAH,
-UH, COURTNEY? -YES,
YOU STILL HAVE ALL YOUR REAL GYMNASTICS, RIGHT?
OH, YES, BUT, I'M A RHYTHMIC GYMNAST NOW,
OH, COME ON,
IF RIBBONS ARE USED IN THE EVENT
AND WEIRD BOWLING PINS, THEN IT'S NOT A SPORT,
IT'S A CIRCUS ACT,
HEY, DON'T INSULT MY CRAFT,
-WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? -HEY, HEY,
SHE SAID CIRCUS NOT CIRQUE DU SOLEIL,
YEAH, WELL, SHE BETTER BE TALKING ABOUT THE RINGLING BROTHERS,
-WHAT'S YOUR DEAL? -WHAT'S YOUR DEAL?
THIS IS AN EPIC DISASTER,
IT COULD BE WORSE,
[OVERLAPPING SHOUTING]
UGH,
OR NOT,
-WHERE IS EVERYONE? -I DON'T KNOW,
THE, UH, PROFESSOR DIDN'T SHOW UP OR SOMETHING,
-WHAT? -[CHET] ALL RIGHT,
WELL, GOOD MORNING, ECON 463,
BASED ON A COUPLE OF OBSERVATIONS THAT YOU MAY HAVE MADE ALREADY,
UH, I HAVE HAIR, I AM DRESSED NICELY,
NO ORTHOPEDIC SHOES, AND I SMELL AMAZING,
I AM NOT ACTUALLY PROFESSOR KELLY,
MY NAME IS CHET, AND I'M ACTUALLY YOUR TA,
IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU,
BUT THE PROFESSOR SENT ME HERE TODAY
TO EXPLAIN TO EVERYBODY THAT, UH,
HE'S NOT ACTUALLY GOING TO BE TEACHING
AND THAT IS BECAUSE, UH, HE WAS GIVEN
A PRETTY SUBSTANTIAL GRANT
FOR HIS RESEARCH ON THE, UH,
ECONOMIC CORRELATION BETWEEN TRUCK SALES
AND PEOPLE WHO LIKE COUNTRY MUSIC,
WHICH IS SUPER THRILLING,
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S JUST BECAUSE HIS DAUGHTER
TRANSFERRED TO BROWN-- SHH-- DIDN'T HEAR IT FROM ME,
NO BIG DEAL, UM, BUT, GUYS, NEVERTHELESS,
I AM ACTUALLY GONNA BE TEACHING THIS CLASS THIS SEMESTER,
MOM, YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT,
I FOUND SIX GIRLS TO BE ON THE WOMEN'S GYMNASTICS TEAM,
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS CONVINCE THE ATHLETIC DIRECTOR--
[MOM] HOW'S THE SEARCH GOING?
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M TELLING YOU,
TODD WILL BE COMING BACK ONCE WE ESTABLISH ELIGIBILITY,
[MOM] I HEARD YOUR ECON CLASS PETERED
BECAUSE THE PROFESSOR LEFT,
DO YOU WANT TO TRADE TO A BUSINESS CLASS?
-NO, I,,, -I SAY,
STAY ON THOSE BUSINESS MAJORS,
MAKE DAD AND ME PROUD,
[PHONE BEEPS]
[GROANS]
[APPLE] I DON'T UNDERSTAND,
WE'VE DONE ALL THE WORK,
ALL HE HAS TO DO IS APPROVE THE TEAM,
I HAVEN'T EVEN ASKED FOR FUNDING,
MAYBE THAT'S WHAT THE PROBLEM IS,
NICELY DONE, GEORGE,
THANKS,
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THAT'S THE PROBLEM?
WELL, STUDIES HAVE SHOWN
THAT PEOPLE DON'T VALUE THINGS AS MUCH
IF THEY DON'T PAY FOR THEM,
THUS, IF YOU AGREE TO GIVE US
JUST THREE PERCENT OF ALL ATHLETIC FUNDS,
WE CAN AFFORD ALL OF THIS,
-SUCH AS THESE, -YEAH, CAUGHT IT WHEN YOU WALKED IN,
AND, IT LOOKS AS THOUGH
YOU'VE BEEN RECEIVING FROM THE UNIVERSITY
FOR A WOMEN'S TEAM THAT HASN'T EXISTED FOR NINE YEARS,
SO, IF YOU AGREE
TO THE WOMEN'S GYMNASTICS TEAM,
THEN THE NCAA NEVER HAS TO FIND OUT
ABOUT THOSE MISSING FUNDS,
SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO BLACKMAIL ME,
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, I'M JUST SAYING,
YOU LET ME CREATE THE WOMEN'S GYMNASTIC TEAM
AND THE NCAA NEVER HAS TO FIND OUT,
OKAY, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT BLACKMAIL IS,
SO IT'S A YES?
DID YOU HACK INTO THE ACCOUNTING FUND?
-UGH! PRESTON,,, -MR, KELLY,
I PREFER THE TERM "PERUSED,"
SO, I WILL SEND THE DOCUMENTATION HERE--
OKAY, WAIT A SEC, WAIT A SECOND,
YOU'RE LUCKY
THAT I HAVEN'T REPORTED YOU TO THE DEAN,
MUCH LESS, THE POLICE, FOR HACKING INTO
THE PRIVATE FILES OF THE UNIVERSITY,
THEY WON'T FIND ANY VIRTUAL EVIDENCE, I COVERED MY TRACKS,
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING,
YOU'RE LUCKY THAT YOUR PARENTS
ARE THE NUMBER ONE BOOK PROVIDERS
FOR THIS UNIVERSITY,
OTHERWISE, I WOULD HAVE STOPPED THIS WHOLE
GYMNASTICS TEAM CHARADE A LONG TIME AGO,
NOW LET'S ALSO NOT FORGET THAT YOUR SORORITY
AND THEIR LITTLE PAPER GRADING BUSINESS,,,
ENLIGHTENED TUTORING,
THIS IS THE ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT AT GREENE,
FINE, I'll QUIT,
IT'S WHAT EVERYONE EXPECTS ME TO DO ANYWAY,
JUST RIDE ON MY PARENTS COATTAILS AND ALL THAT,
I CAN DO MORE THAN THAT,
YEAH, THIS GYMNASTICS TEAM,
THEY MAY BE TERRIBLE,
BUT IT COULD'VE SAVED YOUR RUGBY TEAM,
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING, APPLE,
THIS IS THE ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT AT GREENE,
ONE OF THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS ACADEMIC
UNIVERSITIES IN THE COUNTRY,
WHICH MEANS, THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT ATHLETICS,
NO ONE CARES,
I GET NO FUNDING OR SUPPORT FROM THE UNIVERSITY,
I DON'T GET ANY SCHOLARSHIPS,
I MEAN, I'M LUCKY TO STAY AFLOAT
WITH THE ALUMNI DONATIONS,
I MEAN, I GUESS I OWE IT TO THE STUDENT ATHLETES
TO AT LEAST TRY,
I MEAN, PLAYING RUGBY HERE
WAS SOME OF THE BEST TIMES OF MY LIFE,
YOU PLAYED RUGBY?
-ALL, ALL THAT HACKING,,, -INTERNAL SEARCHING,
,,,AND YOU DIDN'T RUN ACROSS THAT?
THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNIVERSITY
IS BENT OUT OF SHAPE BECAUSE OF THIS WHOLE
ATHLETIC GENDER DISCREPANCY,
HE WANTS ME TO FIX IT PRONTO,
BUT, HE'S GIVING ME NO FUNDING,
[GASPS]
STOP,
I NEED TO SIGN OFF ON EVERYTHING,
I MEAN, EVERYTHING,
AND THEY'LL BE NO
HACKING OR DECEIT OR LYING,
-OH, I NEVER LIE, -YES, YOU DO,
AND IF THAT HAPPENS,
I WILL CREATE A VOLLEYBALL TEAM
FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY TARRED--
AND FEATHERED,
YOU HAVE VERY OUTDATED FORMS OF PUNISHMENT,
OKAY, IT'S JUST A SAYING, IT'S NOT--
YOU ARE NOT GONNA REGRET THIS,
WE'RE GONNA WORK SO WE'LL TOGETHER, PRESTON,
MAY I CALL YOU PRESTON NOW?
-IT'S STILL NO, -[LAUGHING] YOU'RE THE BEST,
YOU'RE THE,,,
OH, MY GOD, OH!
[LAUGHING]
-OH! -YOU OKAY?
OH, HEAVENS, LIGHTHEADED,
DO YOU ALWAYS MEET PEOPLE LIKE THIS?
OH,,,JUST YOU,
THAT MEANS I'M PRETTY SPECIAL, I THINK, RIGHT?
OR JUST THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME,
OR MAYBE I'M AT THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME,
AND THAT'S A GREAT OUTFIT, BY THE WAY,
YOU LOOK, YOU LOOK GREAT,
OH, GOSH,
OH,
I'VE GOT TO CALL TODD,
HEY, CAN I TRY SOMETHING ON YOU?
UH, NOPE, THOSE NEW?
I BOUGHT THEM FOR THE CIA INTERVIEW,
I'M TRYING TO BREAK THEM IN,
-HERE, LET ME JUST-- -OH, NO THANK YOU,
[PHONE RINGING]
-WHAT'S UP, APPLE? -TODD, I'VE DON'T IT,
YOU CAN COME BACK,
THE RUGBY TEAM IS BEING REINSTATED,
I BUILT THE GYMNASTICS TEAM,
MR, KELLY JUST CALLED,
HE TOLD ME HE GOT THE TEAM BACK,
WHAT? NO, HE DIDN'T, I DID,
MY FLIGHT'S IN TWO WEEKS,
MY DAD WANTS ME TO STAY HERE AND PLAY IN A GAME
FOR SOME, UH,
SOME INTERNATIONAL EXPOSURE,
TWO WEEKS? THAT LIKE FOREVER,
I KNOW, THESE BRITS ARE SO DRY,
EXCEPT FOR YOU,
WELL, CAN'T YOU COME BACK ANY EARLIER?
I REALLY WANT YOU TO MEET THE GYMNASTICS TEAM,
NOPE, I GOT TO GO, I'M A LITTLE BUSY HERE,
CHEERIO,
[GROANS]
WELL DONE,,,
WELL DONE,
-[KNOCKING ON DOOR] -OH, PLEASE, COME IN,
PLEASE, PLEASE, COME IN,
CASHEW, MY PHONE DIED,
AND I WAS NOT ABOUT TO WALK ACROSS CAMPUS WITH THIS,
[LAUGHS]
DUH,
OH,
ACTUALLY, COULD I TRY IT AS A BRACELET?
WHATEVER, COME WITH ME,
CAN I CHANGE?
WE KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE,
WE KNOW WE'RE NOT PART OF YOUR "SECRET" SOCIETY,
YOU'RE JUST STARTING A GYMNASTICS TEAM,
THESE ARE ALL ALPHA FEMALES,
AT GREENE?
WHO DID YOU THINK YOU WERE PULLING A FAST ONE ON, APPLE?
YEAH, AND ALL THIS TO GET YOUR BOYFRIEND BACK,
HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT PART?
-IT'S NOT GONNA CUT IT, -I HAVE MISSED
7,59 HOURS OF STUDYING FOR THIS,
YEAH, AND I MISSED A CAKE TASTING APPOINTMENT,
[GASPS] OH, MY,
OKAY, OKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT,
BUT, ACTUALLY, WE ARE A SECRET SOCIETY
-IN THAT NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT THIS TEAM, -[LAUGHS]
NOBODY AT GREENE KNOWS ABOUT ANY ATHLETIC TEAM,
ALL RIGHT, I GET IT, YOU'RE ALL ANGRY AT ME
BECAUSE I MADE YOU FEEL IMPORTANT
AND THEN YOU FOUND OUT YOU WEREN'T,
[GROANING]
NO, NO, NOT THAT YOU AREN'T IMPORTANT,
YOU'RE JUST NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH
TO BE PART OF A REAL SECRET SOCIETY,
-UGH, -YOU--
BUT YOU ARE IMPORTANT,
YOU ARE IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO START
THE FIRST WOMEN'S GYMNASTICS TEAM
AT GREENE UNIVERSITY,
OKAY, LOOK, WE ALL CAME HERE
TO DO SOMETHING GREAT, RIGHT?
ANGELINA WANTS TO BE A PROFESSOR LIKE HER FATHER,
CASHEW WANTS TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT,
[CLICKS TONGUE]
EMILY WANTS TO GO TO MED SCHOOL,
I DON'T GET IT, BUT IT'S AWESOME,
COURTNEY IS GONNA START HER OWN LINE
OF ORGANIC CLOTHING,
AND I AM GOING TO MARRY THE FINEST RUGBY PLAYER
THAT GREENE HAS EVER SEEN,
OH, AND BECKY, BECKY,
BECKY JUST WANTS TO GRADUATE,
AND IN HER 16TH YEAR OF RESEARCH,
SHE MIGHT JUST FINISH THAT THESIS,
AND I KNOW ALL THIS BECAUSE I DID MY RESEARCH,
I CHOSE YOU,
YOU'RE COMPLETELY UNDERAPPRECIATED
IN A SEA OF EXCELLENCE
WITH STUDENTS THAT ARE JUST AS GOOD AS YOU
AND JUST AS SMART AS YOU,
NO OTHER STUDENT AT GREENE CAN BE A GYMNAST,
TRY ME, I LOOKED, WOO,
BUT THIS IS WHERE YOU MAKE YOUR MARK,
THIS IS WHERE YOU STAND OUT,
SOME WILL TELL THEIR CHILDREN
THAT THEY GRADUATED FROM GREENE,
AND THAT'S HUGE,
BUT YOU WILL TELL YOUR CHILDREN
THAT YOU CREATED THE FIRST
WOMEN'S GYMNASTICS TEAM
-AT GREENE UNIVERSITY, -[CLAPS]
THAT WAS UNNECESSARY,
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GO ALL "SEA OF EXCELLENCE" ON US,
WE WANT TO BE PART OF THIS TEAM, APPLE,
OH, THANK GOODNESS,
BUT IF WE'RE GONNA DO THIS,,,
-WE WANT TO BE GOOD, -GOOD?
NO, NO, WE WANT TO BE GREAT,,
OTHERWISE, WE'RE OUTTA HERE,
BYE-BYE, RUGBY TEAM,
-BYE-BYE, TODD, -BUT, HAVE YOU--
HAVE YOU SEE US? 'CAUSE WE'RE TERRIBLE,
WHAT'LL IT BE?
[APPLE] THEY WANT TO BE GOOD,
NOT LEVEL THREE GOOD, WHICH IS ATTAINABLE
WITH OUR NCAA APPROVED 20 HOURS A WEEK,
OLYMPIC GOOD, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT TAKES?
I SAID YOU CAN START A GYMNASTICS TEAM
NOT INVADE MY OFFICE WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT,
EIGHT HOURS A DAY,
THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES, FOR 14 YEARS,
INTERMIX THAT WITH CLASSES AND STUDYING,
MUCH LESS SLEEPING,
AND I NEED A 60 HOUR DAY,
CAN YOU GIVE ME A 60 HOUR DAY, PRESTON?
-MR, KELLY, -[SIGHS HEAVILY]
THE PHYSICS DEPARTMENT IS WORKING ON A WAY
-TO SLOW DOWN THE EARTHS ROTATION, -WELL, NOT FAST ENOUGH!
-YEAH, THAT'S NOT A REAL THING, -OH, PRESTON!
YOU ARE NO HELP,
IT'S MR, KELLY, HMM,
BEAUTIFUL, ALL RIGHT, UH,
THAT LOOKS LIKE IT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR TODAY,
AND, HEY, GUYS, LOOK, DO NOT FORGET TO DO
THE ONLINE PROBLEMS, ALL RIGHT?
IT'S 20 PERCENT OF YOUR OVERALL GRADE,
HAVE A GREAT AFTERNOON,
I FINISHED THE ONLINE PROBLEMS FOR THE ENTIRE SEMESTER
THREE WEEKS AGO,
ALL RIGHT, APPLE, THEN I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU,
HOW ABOUT THE, UH, THE READINGS?
YOU NEED ANY HELP WITH THOSE?
MY PARENTS PUBLISHED THE BOOKS,
YES, THAT'S RIGHT,
YOU ARE MCCREIGHTON-HILL,
THE GIRL WHO GOT INTO GREENE BECAUSE OF HER PARENTS,
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I, UH, I DON'T BUY THAT,
EVERYONE ELSE DOES,
WELL THEN, THEY'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION,
'CAUSE THE GIRL WHO'S BEEN RUNNING INTO ME
FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS,,,
SHE'S ON A MISSION,
-WHAT IS THAT? -MY MISSION,
ISN'T THAT YOUR GYMNASTICS TEAM
-ON GREENTUBE? -MM-HMM,
I HACKED IT-- I STUMBLED INTO IT,
GREENTUBE WILL NOW BROADCAST
ALL GYMNASTICS COMPETITIONS,
IMPRESSIVE, BUT ISN'T THAT FOR LIKE,
UH, STUDENTS TO DO WORK AND STUFF?
YEAH, EXACTLY,
IT'LL ESTABLISH OUR FAN BASE,
ONLY ONE PROBLEM,
UH, LET ME GUESS,
THERE'S GONNA BE A HUGE RIOT WHEN STUDENTS REALIZE
THAT INSTEAD OF THEIR LECTURES BEING ON THERE,
IT'S GONNA BE GIRLS IN SPANDEX
BEING TINY AND FLIPPING AND DOING TRIPLE SALCHOWS,
NO, AND SALCHOWS ARE ICE SKATING,
I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO MAKE OUR TEAM GREAT,
OKAY, SO YOU CAME TO ME,
YEAH, RUGBY WAS ONE OF THE BEST TEAMS ON CAMPUS,
THEY REALLY LISTEN TO YOU,
THEY TREAT YOU LIKE A CAPTAIN,
DID I MENTION THAT I NEED THIS TO HAPPEN FAST?
'CAUSE OUR FIRST COMPETITION IS IN, LIKE, TWO WEEKS,
SO,,,
-SURE, -OKAY,
[BOTH LAUGHING]
OKAY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING SOME
WEIRD MR, MIYAGI THING MY DAD TALKS ABOUT,
YEAH, NO, I STARTED LIKE A DRAMATIC PAUSE,
-WHAT IS DRAMATIC? -IT WAS ANNOYING,
ANNOYING?
WELL, I'M NOT HELPING YOU,
I'M KIDDING, LET'S, UH, LET'S DO IT,
OOH, YES, CALI, THERE YOU ARE,
I'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU,
I'M PRACTICING MAINTAINING FOCUS
WHILE HANGING UPSIDE DOWN,
WHAT PROFESSOR'S CONDUCTING AN UPSIDE DOWN EXAM?
IT'S CIA INTERVIEW PREP,
WHAT IF THEY HANG ME UPSIDE DOWN
AND ASK ME A WHOLE BUNCH OF QUESTIONS?
OR WATERBOARD ME?
[APPLE] I'M PRETTY SURE WATERBOARDING'S ILLEGAL,
IN AMERICA,
NOT IF THEY SEND ME TO SYRIA,
[SIGHS]
PLUS, IT MAKES MY CHEEKS ROSIER,
-NO BLUSH? -NOPE,
-NICE, -[BOTH LAUGH]
SO I'M HERE BECAUSE I TALKED TO CHET,
AH, HOT RUGBY GUY,
IS HE?
CHET SAID THE FIRST STEP TO A GREAT TEAM
-IS A GREAT COACH, -WELL, I DON'T KNOW ANYONE
-WHO COACHES GYMNASTICS, -YEAH, AND NEITHER DO I,
AND I DEFINITELY DON'T HAVE TIME TO FIND ANYONE,
-WHAT I NEED IS A GREAT MOTIVATOR, -EH, DON'T WE ALL?
CALI, YOU'RE ONE OF THE MOST MOTIVATED PEOPLE I KNOW,
YEAH, BUT I HAVE CLASSES, I HAVE STAKEOUT PREP,
I HAVE CWP SEMINARS, I--
AND WHAT'S THE ONE THING YOU'RE MISSING?
THE NEW LALUCCA BAG?
-AREN'T WE ALL? -[BOTH CHUCKLE]
-WHAT? -LEADERSHIP,
-LEADERSHIP? -MM-HMM,
THAT'S RIGHT, COACH,
THE CIA WANTS LEADERSHIP,
-HUH, -LET'S TALK,
OH,
LIFT THAT BAG, APPLE!
THIS IS CALLED "CROSSFIT,"
STUDIES SAY IT'S THE QUICKEST WAY TO GET IN SHAPE,
WE'LL BE PAIRING IT WITH YOUR NORMAL TRAINING
TO INCREASE YOUR STRENGTH QUICKLY,
COME ON, COURTNEY, QUICKER!
DINING HALL?
-YES, -I'M STARVED,
I'M SO HUNGRY I COULD EAT A HORSE,
HEY, LEAN PROTEINS AND VEGETABLES, NO EQUINE,
UGH, SHE EVEN DICTATES OUR FOOD?
SERIOUSLY? UGH!
[SIGHS] THANKS,
FOR WHAT?
-THAT WAS FUN, -BEATING UP ON PEOPLE?
I'M PRETTY SURE NONE OF US ARE GONNA BE ABLE TO WALK TOMORROW,
YEAH, WELL, THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM,
YOU BEDAZZLED MY HANDCUFFS?
I'M SORRY, BUT YOU LOCKED ME TO A CHAIR,
THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL,
NOW THEY'RE MY LUCKY HANDCUFFS,
MM,
WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?
DON'T YOU HAVE ECONOMICS PAPERS TO GRADE?
I ABSOLUTELY DO, I DO, BUT, UH,
I CAME TO STRETCH OUT A LITTLE BIT,
GET A WORKOUT IN, MAYBE DO SOME RINGS,
HOW WAS YOUR FIRST PRACTICE?
UH, IT WAS GREAT,
CALI IS THE PERFECT COACH,
SHE'S PUNCTUAL, SPARKLY,
AND MEAN AS A BADGER,
OOH, SOUNDS LIKE EVERY COACH I'VE EVER HAD,
WHAT'RE YOU REALLY DOING HERE?
I CAME TO CHECK ON YOU,
PLUS, THE EXISTENCE OF MY TEAM DEPENDS ON THE SUCCESS OF YOURS,
SO, WE'RE KINDA FREAKING OUT A LITTLE BIT,
I HOLD YOUR FUTURE IN MY HANDS?
OH, MY GOODNESS! THAT IS, THAT'S AWFUL,
THAT'S REALLY SCARY LOOKING,
CAN I SHOW YOU SOMETHING?
YOU CAN, I MEAN, WE'RE IN A, A PUBLIC FACILITY
AND THAT MIGHT BE INAPPROPRIATE,
-'CAUSE IT'S-- -ON THE BARS, DIMWIT,
OH, RIGHT, UH, ABSOLUTELY,
BARS, LOVE THE BARS,
-UM, WHICH, UH, ONES ARE THE BARS? -OH, MY GOSH,
YOU GUYS HAVE A HUNDRED BARS IN HERE,
[MUSIC PLAYING]
* RISE UP RISE UP *
* RISE UP, TELL 'EM THAT YOU WON'T STOP *
* RISE UP RISE UP *
* RISE UP, TELL 'EM THAT YOU WON'T STOP *
* RISE UP RISE UP *
* RISE UP, TELL 'EM THAT YOU WON'T STOP *
* RISE UP RISE UP *
* RISE UP, TELL 'EM THAT YOU WON'T STOP *
WOW!
-NICE, HUH? -THAT WAS AMAZING,
[COUGHING]
THAT'S REALLY GOOD,
I MEAN, RIGHT? THAT WAS, THAT WAS REALLY GOOD, RIGHT?
I MEAN, I KNOW NOTHING, BUT THAT LOOKED AMAZING,
YES, YES, THAT WAS A LITTLE BIT GOOD,
MAN, HOW DID YOU, LIKE, HOW'D YOU LEARN TO DO THAT?
SO I DID GYMNASTICS FOR TEN YEARS,
I WAS LEVEL TEN BY THE TIME I WAS 12,
A LEAD AT 13,
AND THEN MY PARENTS WORK HOURS
STARTED TO INTERFERING WITH PRACTICE,
I KNEW THEY WERE SENDING ME TO GREENE
WHERE THERE IS NO GYMNASTICS,
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
AND I QUIT,
I GUESS THAT'S WHY I CARE,
WHEN THE GIRLS TOLD ME THEY WANTED TO BE GOOD,
THEY REMINDED ME OF WHAT IT FELT LIKE
TO WANT TO BE GREAT AT SOMETHING,
YOU SURPRISE ME, APPLE,
SEE, AT FIRST, YOU SEEMED SO GIRLY
AND SPARKLY AND FLIGHTY,
THEN YOU GO AND YOU GET EVERYTHING RIGHT IN ECON,
AND THEN YOU GO AND DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT,
IT'S,,,
NOT MANY PEOPLE SURPRISE ME,
[MAN YELLS] YO, CHET!
-OH, GOD, -OH, OKAY?
-OH, -OH!
AH, ARE YOU OKAY?
YEP, I'M OKAY, HEY, JEREMY,
HEY, SO,,,
I HEAR TODD'S COMING BACK,
YOU MUST BE EXCITED,
YEP, TODD, TODD, TODD, TODD, MY BOYFRIEND,
MY GO-TO GUY, MY OTHER HALF,
YEP, SO, I'M SO EXCITED,
[JEREMY] SO,,,
UH, WE HAVE OUR FIRST SANCTIONED PRACTICE BACK, MAN,
THIS GYMNASTICS TEAM HAS BEEN APPROVED,
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
[BOTH GRUNTING]
THAT'S, THAT'S,,,
-SO GOOD, -AH!
OOH! YES!
[THUDS]
ALL RIGHT, ANGELINA,
-UGH, -MAKE SURE YOUR HANDS HIT FIRST,
OKAY,
-HEY, -YOU'RE LATE,
I WAS GRADING PAPERS, WE NEED TO TALK,
-I SO CONFUSED ABOUT TODD, -500 LEG LIFTS,
100 FOR EVERY MINUTE YOU WERE LATE,
-500? -IS THAT A LOT?
YEAH, TO DIVIDE BETWEEN 40 PEOPLE,
GOOD, THEN I MADE MY POINT,
DON'T EVER BE LATE TO MY PRACTICE AGAIN,
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
-GOOD JOB, ANGELINA, -THANKS, I WAS ON TIME,
YES, YOU WERE, AGAIN,
OKAY,
[GROANS]
BETTER?
WHAT DID YOU DO?
I WALKED IN EATING A BAG OF CARAMEL CORN,
I THOUGHT CORN WAS A VEGETABLE,
YEAH,
-[CALI] POINT YOUR TOES, -[ANGELINA] THEY ARE POINTED,
MM, MM,
[CHET LAUGHING] DUDE, GET OUT OF HERE,
HEY, COME ON, MAN, I'M ACTUALLY SERIOUS HERE,
-OH! WHOA! -OH,
AH, UH,,,
-YOU TWO ALL RIGHT? -YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, UM,
-I'LL MEET UP WITH YOU AT THE LIBRARY AFTERWARDS, -YEAH, OF COURSE,
OKAY, THE LIBRARY,
-I'M OKAY, -AH, YOU'RE OKAY,
ARE YOU GUYS REALLY GOING TO THE LIBRARY?
BECAUSE IT'S THAT WAY,
AH, NO, THERE'S A,
THERE'S A NEW RESTAURANT THAT OPENED UP
CALLED THE LIBRARY, DOWNTOWN,
OH, RIGHT,
CALI DOESN'T REALLY LET US EAT OUT ANYMORE,
-SO,,, -RIGHT,
I HAVEN'T BEEN DOWNTOWN IN A WHILE,
UH, I MEAN, YOU COULD COME WITH US IF YOU WANT,
YOU MIGHT HAVE TO CHANGE AND PUT SOME SHOES ON,
-BUT,,, -OH,
I CAN'T,
I HAVE TO GO TO THE REAL LIBRARY,
-OKAY, -I'M PRETTY SURE
CALI HAS INSERTED SURVEILLANCE DEVICES INTO OUR TOWELS,
BECKY STAYED UP PAST CURFEW LAST NIGHT
WATCHING "LOVELY LITTLE LAWYERS,"
AND CALI WOKE HER UP AT 5:00 A,M,
-FOR A DISCIPLINE RUN, -OOH,
-IT SOUND PRETTY SERIOUS, -YEAH, I'VE CREATED A MONSTER,
YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH, WELL, YOU GUYS ARE PROBABLY GETTING A LOT BETTER,
-THOUGH, SO,,, -YEAH, WE'RE ACTUALLY DECENT,
THE FIRST COMPETITION IS TOMORROW,
-REALLY? -YEAH, IT'S MORE
OF A LOCAL SCRIMMAGE WITH SOME CLUB TEAMS,
-IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL, -I'll TOTALLY BE THERE,
-ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED,,, -APPLE, UM, DON'T,
IT'S, IT'S FINE, IT'S TOTALLY FINE,
LOOK, I KNOW TODD'S YOUR BOYFRIEND,
YOU'VE BEEN SAYING IT SINCE THE FIRST TIME YOU RAN INTO ME,
UM, IT'S OKAY, I JUST, HONESTLY, THOUGH, I DIDN'T REALLY,
DIDN'T REALLY THINK IT WAS THAT SERIOUS,
BUT YOU'RE ON THE TEAM WITH HIM,
YEAH,
FRIENDS?
FRIENDS,
OKAY,
UH, I SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING,
-SO,,, -RIGHT, RIGHT,
-HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, -OKAY,
UH, HEY, APPLE,
GOOD LUCK TOMORROW,
THANKS,
[SPECTATORS MURMURING]
OH, MY GOSH, HE'S HERE,
-OH, APPLE, -APPLE!
I'M SORRY, SORRY,
WHAT IS WRONG? WHAT HAPPENED?
LET'S FOCUS, FOCUS,
[CHANTS IN UNISON] I G C, WOO!
ALL RIGHT, HANDS IN, GUYS,
ALL RIGHT, OUR FIRST EVENT IS BARS,
[ALL] OKAY,
-YOU READY? -YES,
[GIRL] LET'S GET READY TO TUMBLE!
MOVE, PLEASE, IT'S A 30 SECOND TOUCH,
-TOUCH? WHAT? -WHAT'RE WE TOUCHING?
THE EQUIPMENT,
[ALL GASPING]
I COULDA SWORN THE SAID "RUMBLE,"
YEAH, IT SOUNDED SUPER SIMILAR,
-I KNOW, RIGHT? -OKAY, GUYS,
I NEED YOU TO CHANGE INTO YOUR COMPETITION LEOS,
AND I'LL MEET YOU AT THE BARS,
-[ALL] OKAY, -WAIT, I MEAN, THE VAULT,
-AH, I HATE VAULTS, -YES, COME ON, LET'S GO,
[CHEERS, WHISTLES, APPLAUSE]
[CROWD GROANS]
YEAH, UH, YEAH, YEAH,
OKAY,
YEAH!
IS THAT GOOD?
[CROWD GROANS]
[CHEERS, WHISTLES]
[ANGELINA] MAN!
ARE YOU SURE THESE OTHER GIRLS
ARE JUST CLUB TEAMS?
-MM-HMM, -UH! MAN!
THOUGH, IT'S NOT A TOTAL WASH,
OUR AVERAGE ALL AROUND WAS A 32,75,
NO ONE LOOKS AT AVERAGES,
OUR TEAM SCORE WAS 183,5,
THAT'S ENOUGH,
SO, IT WAS OUR FIRST MEET,
WE CAN'T SURRENDER TO MEDIOCRITY,
YES, WE CAN, WE'RE TERRIBLE,
AND NOW WE'RE ONLY FRACTIONALLY TERRIBLE,
THAT'S A HUGE LEAP,
WERE THEY COMPLACENT?
-CALI, -REALLY?
I AM TRYING TO WATCH COMPETITION FOOTAGE,
-I NEED TO FOCUS, -FINE,
I SHOULD PROBABLY WATCH IT, TOO,
[LAUGHS]
[CROWD CHEERING]
[APPLE] THAT'S NOT OUR COMPETITION,
I KNOW, IT'S THE PRO GYMNASTICS CHALLENGE,
THESE GIRLS ARE AMAZING,
-IT'S A SKILL FOR SKILL,,, -FACE OFF,
[CROWD CHEERING]
-AND ONLY THE STRONGEST,, -WILL SURVIVE,
DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S LIFE
-AFTER COLLEGE GYMNASTICS? -WHOA,
[CROWD CHEERING]
-OH, MY,,, -I KNOW,
SO DID YOU GET ANY OF OUR COMPETITION?
OH, OF COURSE,
ELLIE, SQUARE YOUR HIPS ON YOUR LAYOUT,
-LAYOUT, OKAY? -[APPLE] CALI,
YOU TAPED THE COACHING?
THIS IS MY FIRST UNDERCOVER ASSIGNMENT,
I NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT I'M BELIEVABLE,
-UGH, -[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
-OH, HI, -HEY,
IS THIS A BAD TIME, GIRLS?
NO, WE'RE JUST REHASHING THE MEET,
HI, WELL, YOU GIRLS WERE INCREDIBLE,
-UH, REALLY, REALLY GOOD, -FOR A BUNCH OF FOUR-YEAR-OLDS,
ALTHOUGH I DO WISH THAT YOU CAME INTO THE STANDS AFTERWARDS,
BECAUSE I WANTED TO GIVE YOU THESE,
-UM,,, -YOU KNOW,
JUST FOR THE NEXT TIME YOU RUN INTO ME ON CAMPUS,
OR JUST LIKE, GENERALLY FOR YOUR LIFE, SO YOU HAVE SHOES,
[LAUGHS]
OW, LEG LIFTS,
OKAY, IT LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHING'S COMING ALONG PRETTY GOOD OVER HERE,
[GASPS] NO, THIS IS OLD,
OH, MY GOSH, IT'S ARCHAIC,
THIS SILLY BOARD, OH, MY GOSH,
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW THAT THING
-WAS STILL UP THERE, -YEAH, IT'S A PRETTY BIG BOARD,
-I DON'T KNOW, -OKAY,
[COACH] ELLIE, SQUARE YOUR HIPS ON YOUR LAYOUT, LAYOUT,
COME ON, COURTNEY, SQUARE YOUR HIPS ON YOUR LAYOUT, LAYOUT,
-WALK ME TO THE LIBRARY? -LOVE TO,
-RIGHT ON CUE, -DON'T YOU WANT TO,,,
-PUT ON SOME,,, -RIGHT,
-YEAH, -SHIRT AND SHOES,
-YEAH, -IN A MOMENT,
WELL, YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE BEST DRESSED PERSON
IN THE LIBRARY, HANDS DOWN,
-THAT'S THE GOAL, -HONESTLY, THOUGH,
YOU GUYS WERE INCREDIBLE TODAY,
HAH, WELL, WE ACHIEVED ONE OF MY GOALS,
-WHICH WAS WHAT? -NO MAJOR INJURIES,
[LAUGHS] SETTING THE BAR NICE AND HIGH,
-I LIKE IT, -WHAT'S GOING ON?
-[GIRL] APPLE? -OH, COME ON,
-WHAT'RE YOU-- -[GIRL] APPLE, IS THAT YOU?
OH, HO HO, THANK GOODNESS,
APPLE, IT'S ONLY SIX MONTHS TILL MY WEDDING,
AND I'M RUNNING A SIMPLE REHEARSAL,
BUT TANYA HAD TO BAIL ON ME
BECAUSE SOME BRIDEZILLA WAS LIKE,
MY INVITATIONS ARE IVORY AND NOT MOCHA,
AND SALLY AND MARK ARE STUCK IN A STUDY SESSION,
SO, THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BRIDE AND GROOM,
SO, COME WITH ME, COME, COME, COME,
RIGHT THIS WAY, COME, COME, COME,
AND, TA-DA,
YOU SET THIS ALL UP AFTER THE COMPETITION?
-YEP, -WOW,
IT LOOKS REALLY BEAUTIFUL, BUT WE ACTUALLY
-NEED TO GET TO THE LIBRARY, -WHO'S THIS?
-CHET,,, -OH, GREAT,
I WAS SO OVER TODD,
NOW, I'M GONNA NEED YOU GUYS
TO START OVER HERE AND END OVER THERE,
SO, I'M GONNA MOVE THROUGHOUT JUST TO MAKE SURE
I CAN SEE EVERYTHING, OKAY? WAIT RIGHT HERE,
-I'M SORRY, -SHE SEEMS LOVELY,
NOW, I HAVE TO HAVE ALL THE CHAIRS
OUT OF HERE BY TWO,
SO, NEW BOY, YOU'RE GONNA BE MY GROOM,
GO,
-SHALL WE? -[SCOFFS]
AND, THREE, TWO, ONE, MARCH,
[APPLE] SHE'S ONE OF MY SORORITY SISTERS,
[EMILY] A LITTLE SLOWER,
AND I WAS THERE AT HER PROPOSAL,
[EMILY] STEP TOGETHER, STEP TOGETHER,
AND I ALSO KNOW HER WEDDING PLANNER, TOO,
GIVE ME MORE SWAY WITH YOUR HIPS, APPLE, I WANT SEXY,
IT'S FINE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP EXPLAINING,
[EMILY] NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, TOUCHING,
STEP TOGETHER, STEP TOGETHER,
THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT I HAD PLANNED FOR TODAY,
-SO, IT WORKS OUT, -[EMILY] STEP TOGETHER,
AND, STOP,
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU WERE GYRATING,
IT, IT'S OKAY,
[STUDENTS MURMURING]
[EMILY] DEARLY BELOVED,
WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY TO CELEBRATE THIS COUPLE
-IN HOLY MATRIMONY? -[CHUCKLES]
EMILY, DO YOU TAKE CHELSEY,,,
NAMED AFTER HIS FATHER,
-DO YOU? -I DO,
[SIGHS] OKAY, GOOD,
AND, CHELSEY, DO YOU TAKE EMILY?
-I DO, -OH, GOOD,
-NOW, KISS, -WHAT?
WELL, I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WIFE,
-KISS, -NO, I CAN'T,
[GASPS] OH,
-[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] -PERFECT,
-[CROWD CLAPPING] -[EMILY GIGGLES] THAT'S THE SHOT,
THAT IS THE FRONT OF MY PHOTO ALBUM,
OH, MY GOSH,
BYE-BYE,
HI-YAH!
UGH!
[BOTH PANTING]
APPLE, WHAT'RE YOU DOING?
-WOO! NICE ONE, -THANKS,
A LITTLE KUNG FU MIXED WITH SOME PARKOUR, IT'S NO BIGGIE,
-HERE, -OH, NO, I'M GOOD,
-I'M GOOD, -OKAY,
WHY ARE YOU SWEATY?
I DON'T KNOW,
I MUST'VE GONE, LIKE, FIVE MILES, IT'S ALL A BLUR,
AFTER I KISSED CHET, I JUST, I STARTED RUNNING,
AND THEN I GOT LOST, AND IT WAS DARK,
AND THERE WAS SOME FRAT PEOPLE,
AND THERE WERE A LOT OF PEOPLE,,,
-WHAT? -YOU KISSED CHET?
I KISSED CHET,
[BOTH SCREAMING, GIGGLING]
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
OH, I DON'T KNOW!
[LAUGHING, GIGGLING]
YEAH, THAT'S AWESOME! THAT'S AWESOME!
-APPLE, NO, -I THINK I KNOW WHAT THE,,,
-I'M IN A MEETING, -I THINK I KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS,
HEY, APPLE MCCREIGHTON-HILL,
-FRANCESCA, -PLEASURE,
-CAN YOU HOLD THIS? -OH,
AS, AS MUCH AS I'VE GROWN ACCUSTOMED
-TO YOUR, UH, OVERDONE,,, -ORNAMENTED?
,,,PRESENTATIONS,
A SIMPLE EMAIL WILL SUFFICE,
-PRESTON, -MR, KELLY,
WE BOTH KNOW THAT YOU'RE SECRETLY
ROOTING FOR THE GYMNASTICS TEAM,
IF MY SECRETLY ROOTING
MEANING PRAYING THAT ITS VERY EXISTENCE
DOESN'T COST ME MY JOB?
THEN, YES, I AM IN A MEETING,
-I WILL BE QUICK, -GOOD-BYE,
UGH! BUT THIS IS WHERE I WOW YOU WITH MY IDEAS
FOR COMPETITION GEAR AND NEW EQUIPMENT,
ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT? COME HERE,
HOW DID YOU HACK THE GREENTUBE TO COVER ALL THE GYMNASTICS MEETS?
I KNOW BETTER THAN TO INCRIMINATE--
COULD YOU DO THE SAME THING WITH THE RUGBY MEETS?
-YEAH, OF COURSE, BUT-- -THEN DO IT,
-RUGBY, TOO? -JUST GET OUT OF HERE,
HEY,
I'M SO NERVOUS,
TODD'S FLIGHT DOESN'T GET IN FOR ANOTHER 20 MINUTES,
[SIGHS]
WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER IN OVER A MONTH,
DO YOU THINK IT'S GONNA BE WEIRD?
NO, YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE FINE,
[EXHALES]
MY PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR THE CIA APPLICATION,
WHAT? WHEN DID YOU FINISH IT?
YESTERDAY,
OKAY, BE COMPLETELY CRITICAL, MARK IT UP,
-I NEED PERFECTION, -ABSOLUTELY,
I WILL DO MY BEST WORK,
[LAUGHING]
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S HAPPENING,
I KNOW, YOU'RE GONNA BE IN THE CIA,
AND YOU'RE GONNA GET TODD,
DID YOU SAY HIS FLIGHT GETS IN IN 20 MINUTES?
-YEAH, -THAT IS HARDLY AMPLE PREPARATION TIME,
OKAY,
[KNOCKING ON DOOR] OH, TODD,
IT IS OPEN,
HI,
-HEY, -HEY,
-I WAS JUST,,, -LOOKING FOR TODD?
-YEAH, -HE'S IN THE BATHROOM,
HE'LL BE OUT IN, UH, JUST A MINUTE, I THINK,
YOU GUYS LIVE TOGETHER?
YEAH, UH, WELL, WHEN HE LEFT, UH,
JEREMY MOVED IN WITH MIKE,
SO WHEN HE CAME BACK, I WAS THE ONLY GUY ON THE TEAM
WHO DIDN'T HAVE A ROOMMATE,
OKAY, SO YOU GUYS LIVE TOGETHER NOW,
-YEAH, -DOES HE KNOW?
DOES HE KNOW WHAT?
LOOK, UH, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A SEAT,
HE'LL BE OUT IN A SECOND, AND, UH,,,
I'M SURE YOU GUYS HAVE A LOT TO CATCH UP ON,
I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER,
YAY,
[SPORTS ANNOUNCER] HE'S GONNA HAVE TO HURRY, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE
HE MIGHT JUST COME UP A LITTLE BIT SHORT,
BUT STILL,,,
I MISSED YOU, BABE,
I MISSED YOU, TOO,
I HAVE AN IDEA,
YOU WANT TO HELP ME UNPACK AND ORGANIZE MY CLOSET?
REMEMBER HOW YOU USED TO DO IT WITH THE COLOR COORDINATION?
THAT ROCKED,
UH, THE BOXES ARE RIGHT OVER THERE,
-THANKS, BABE, -OKAY,
NO ONE DOES IT LIKE YOU,
THERE YOU GO,
YEAH, WHAT,,,
[SPORTS ANNOUNCER] AND KUDOS TO THE CROWD
WHO ARE TRYING TO BRING HIM ACROSS THE FINISH LINE,
[PANTING]
-DONE, -GOOD JOB, BABE,
NICE,
YEAH, YOU BROUGHT BACK A LOT OF CLOTHES,
BUT I WAS ABLE TO GET THEM ALL IN ONCE I FIGURED OUT
-THE RIGHT FOLDING SYSTEM, -HMM,
OH, AND YOU BROUGHT BACK THIS,
I'M SURE IT JUST SHRUNK IN THE WASH, RIGHT?
[GIGGLES, SIGHS] OKAY,
I'M GONNA GET THESE DOWN TO THE LAUNDRY ROOM,
-UH, APPLE, -HUH?
COME HERE,
WE HAVE TO BREAK UP,
I'M SORRY,
* THE DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE *
[CRYING]
* AND I CAN'T MAKE YOU STAY,,, *
GOTCHA,
FOUR MINUTES PAST CURFEW,
OKAY,
* 30 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK *
I SHOULD'VE WORN WATERPROOF MASCARA,
CALI, HE DUMPED ME,
OH, NO,
* 'CAUSE AS THE STRINGS SWELL IN *
-I CAN'T ARGUE BACK, -SORRY,
* IF I WAS READY
* WHEN YOU WERE
* HERE'S MY ACCEPTANCE SPEECH
* I WISH THAT I LIVED UP
* TO WHAT YOU THOUGHT I'D BE *
* 'CAUSE NOW YOU'RE MOVIN' ON *
* WE'RE PAST THE POINT OF NO RETURN *
* BUT I ACCEPT THE POINT I'VE HAD TO LEARN *
BECKY, IF YOU ADD A HALF TWIST,
IT'LL UP YOUR START VALUE BY FIVE TENTHS,
OKAY, COACH,
WHERE IS OUR FEARLESS LEADER?
UM,,,
POINT YOUR TOES ON THOSE JUMPS, ANGELINA,
UH, MAN,
APPLE, WHERE,,,
-WOW, -I KNOW, RIGHT?
AT FIRST I WASN'T SURE ABOUT THIS SWEATER,
AND THEN I WAS, LIKE,
HOW COULD I LIVE WITHOUT THIS SWEATER?
UH, I WAS REFERRING TO THE LENGTH,
YOU MISSED PRACTICE AGAIN,
OH, YEAH, WOOPS,
THE MEET IS THIS WEEKEND,
-YEAH,,, -YEAH?
ABOUT THAT,
YOU KNOW HOW EVERYONE TOLD ME IT WAS A STUPID IDEA
TO BUILD A GYMNASTICS TEAM TO WIN BACK A BOY?
-WELL, I DIDN'T, -WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE BECAUSE IT WAS,
THAT WAS A PITIFUL ATTEMPT TO BE SOMETHING MORE OF MY LIFE,
TO NOT BE MEDIOCRE, LIKE YOU WITH THE CIA,
OR CASHEW WHEN WANTING TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT,
-OKAY, -I'M MEDIOCRE, YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME,
I'M APPLE MCCREIGHTON-HILL,
IVY LEAGUE EDUCATED BECAUSE MY PARENTS
MANUFACTURED MORE TEXTBOOKS
THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD,
AND, WHEN I TRIED TO BE MORE THAN THAT,
-I FAILED, -NO, YOU DIDN'T,
IT'S OKAY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER,
THERE'S A POINT IN EVERYONE'S LIFE WHEN THEY REALIZE
WHAT THEY'RE REALLY CAPABLE OF, ALL RIGHT?
GO BACK TO YOUR CIA INTERVIEW PREPARATION
AND YOUR STAKEOUT TRAINING,
YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK, COACH,
I'VE GOT TO GET TO CLASS, AND FIND ME A MAN,
'CAUSE I'M NOT LEAVING HERE WITHOUT MY M-R-S,
YOU MEAN, MBA?
NO, MISSUS, MISSUS SOMETHING,
I WILL BE A WIFE,
MM-HMM,
YOU KNOW WHAT, CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF,
GUYS, ECONOMICS CAN BE FUN,
I FEEL LIKE EVERYBODY HAS A PRECONCEIVED NOTION
ABOUT WHAT ECONOMICS IS,
ECONOMICS IS A EVER-CHANGING, EVER-PRESENT,
LIVING, BREATHING THING,
IT EVOLVES WITH US AS THE WORLD EVOLVES,
THANK YOU SO MUCH,
THANK YOU, GREAT PARTICIPATION TODAY,
THANK YOU, JASON, BEARD'S LOOKING HEALTHY, BY THE WAY,
I SHAMPOOED IT LAST NIGHT,
DID YOU? I CAN TELL, HEY, GUYS, ALSO, UH, TEST,
THIRD TEST THIS SEMESTER IS THIS WEEK,
DON'T FORGET, ALL RIGHT?
APPLE? APPLE, WHAT, NO, NO ASSIGNMENT FROM YOU?
-JUST GIVE ME A ZERO, -A ZERO? OKAY,
UH, HEY, WAIT UP,
THIS SATURDAY AFTER YOUR COMPETITION,
I WAS THINKING MAYBE WE COULD, UM, I DON'T KNOW,
JUST TALK AFTERWARDS?
DUH,
RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, 30 SECOND TOUCH,
VAULT, BARS, BEAM, FLOOR, LET'S DO THIS,
-WHERE'S APPLE? -SHE'S NOT COMING,
WAIT, WHAT? SHE'S NOT COMING?
-IS SHE HURT? -NO,
WHOA, SHE'S NOT COMPETING?
NO, NO, NO, WE'RE TERRIBLE WITHOUT HER,
WE CANNOT DO THIS WITHOUT APPLE,
-YES, YEAH, -OKAY, HEY, LOOK,
I'M THE COACH, AND WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY,
EVERYONE JUST NEEDS TO STOP FREAKING OUT,
LINE UP CHANGE, UM,,,
ANGELINA, EMILY, BECKY, CASHEW,
THEN COURTNEY ON VAULT,
BUT I DON'T VAULT,
WELL, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TODAY,
-COME ON, LET'S DO THIS, -ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YOU CAN DO THIS, YOU GOT THIS,
-NO, NO, NO, I,,, -COME ON, ANGELINA,
-YOU NEED THIS, -YOU GOT THIS,
LET'S GO,
-COME ON, YOU GOT THIS, -COME ON, GO,
[MURMURING]
[MOUTHING] I DON'T KNOW,
-[MOANING] -YOU LOOK ROUGH,
[SCOFFS]
-I WENT TO THE MEET, -OH, HOW'D IT GO?
WITHOUT YOU? TERRIBLE,
IT WAS EVEN WORSE AFTER IT ENDED,
WHEN I TOLD THEM THAT YOU QUIT,
THE TEAM DISBANDED,
-THEY WERE THAT UPSET? -WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THEY TOTALLY BELIEVED IN WHAT YOU CREATED
AND THEY PUT THEIR ALL INTO BEING GREAT,
WELL, WE WERE NEVER GONNA BE ANY GOOD,
IT WAS JUST A MATTER OF TIME,
PRESTON WAS PROBABLY GONNA MAKE A VOLLEYBALL TEAM
NEXT YEAR ANYWAY,
IT THAT REALLY WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY?
I HAVE A DATE,,,
WITH CHET,
I REALIZED I'D NEVER CYBER STALKED HIM,
HE GRADUATING IN MAY WITH A BUSINESS DEGREE,
AND HE ALREADY HAS A JOB OFFER WITH BOSTON CONSULTING,
MOM IS OVER THE MOON,
HOW DO I LOOK?
DON'T WAIT UP,
-[CHET SIGHS] -YOU WOULD THINK
THE STUDENTS AT THIS SCHOOL WOULD HAVE MORE FASHION SENSE
BUT IT'S LIKE THEY'RE SO BUSY STUDYING
THEY DON'T EVEN OWN A MIRROR,
WOW! WHY, YOU,,,
-YOU ARE JUST, YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE, -THANK YOU,
NO, APPLE, NOT THANK YOU,
LIKE WHO, WHO AM I TALKING TO RIGHT NOW?
WHO ARE YOU? 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT YOURSELF,
I MEAN, TWO DAYS AGO,
YOU WERE WALKING AROUND THIS CAMPUS
WEARING A LEOTARD AND NO SHOES,
OH, MY GOSH, THAT'S IT,
WHAT? WHAT'S IT?
I WAS SO BUSY MAKING THE GYMNASTICS TEAM,
THAT I TOTALLY LET MYSELF GO,
THAT'S WHY TODD BROKE UP WITH ME,
NO, THAT'S NOT WHY TODD BROKE UP WITH YOU,
APPLE, TODD BROKE UP WITH YOU BECAUSE HE SAID
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SUBSTANCE,
ALL RIGHT, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHEN YOU'RE WITH HIM
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SUBSTANCE,
LOOK, I'VE READ PAPERS THAT YOU EDITED,
OKAY, I'VE STOOD IN LINE FOR HOURS
AND LISTENED TO YOU EXPLAIN TO STUDENTS
WHY THEIR THESIS LACKS UNITY,
OR EXPLAIN WHAT AN INTERNAL CITATION IS,
YOU ARE A BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT GIRL,
YOU'RE AMAZING, OKAY?
BUT WHEN YOU'RE WITH HIM, YOU'RE JUST DOTING,
THERE'S NOTHING THERE, YOU'RE, YOU'RE BORING,
YOU CREATED A SPORTS TEAM AT GREENE,
LIKE THAT'S, THAT'S INSANE, APPLE,
OKAY, AND NOW YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO MAKE THEM GREAT,
AND YOU'RE GIVING UP ON THEM,
IT'S NOT WHAT I WANT,
FINE,
[MUSIC PLAYING]
* YOU PRETENDERS
* SEE WHERE WE ARE NOW
* YOU TRIED TO END IT
* SO STOP PRETENDING [ECHOES]
* AND SEE WHERE WE ARE NOW, NOW, NOW *
* TRY TO END US
* SEE WHERE WE ARE NOW
* YOU TRIED TO END IT [ECHOES]
* SO, STOP PRETENDING [ECHOES]
* TO SEE WHERE WE ARE NOW, NOW, NOW *
* TRY TO END US
* SEE WHERE WE ARE NOW
* YOU TRIED TO END IT
* SO STOP PRETENDING
* TO SEE WHERE WE ARE NOW *
* NOW, NOW, NOW
BIG DAY,
[GRUNTS]
[STRAINING]
[EXHALES] OY, UH,
THOSE ARE HARD,
[SIGHS]
I'VE GOT IT ALL PLANNED OUT,
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
DO YOU HAVE THE EDITS TO MY PERSONAL STATEMENT?
I WANT TO REVIEW THEM BEFORE I PRINT IT OUT,
-[STRAINING] -[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
[GASPS, SQUEALS]
BREAKFAST DATE, ONE SECOND, OKAY?
YEAH, SURE,
37, 38, 39, 40,
[STRAINING]
UH, IS THAT ALL YOU'RE WEARING TO BREAKFAST?
OF COURSE NOT,
WHERE'RE WE GOING?
OH, GOOD LUCK HUG?
OKAY,
SO, I'M A LITTLE BIT BUSY
BECAUSE I'M HELPING EMILY WITH HER WEDDING NOW,
BUT I'M FREE AFTER NINE,
I MEAN, IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING,
-MR, KELLY? -MR, KELL,,,
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU, APPLE,
OKAY, WELL, NOW'S NOT REALLY A GOOD TIME,
CAN WE RESCHEDULE?
NO, I DON'T CARE WHAT TIME IT IS,
WHY AM I JUST LEARNING
THAT THE CAPTAIN OF MY GYMNASTICS TEAM QUIT
MAKING MY RUGBY TEAM INELIGIBLE AGAIN?
YEAH, ABOUT THAT, IT JUST REALLY WASN'T WORKING OUT,
WELL, THE 17 PINK FOLDERS,
THE, THE DOZENS OF UNNECESSARY MEETINGS,
OH, THE PARADE OF COMPETITION UPDOS THROUGH MY OFFICE,
WHAT EXACTLY WASN'T WORKING OUT?
I HAD FORGOTTEN HOW TIGHT LEOTARDS ARE,
SPANDEX IS SO UNFORGIVING,
YOU'VE MADE A MOCKERY OF MY ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT,
I THINK THE UNIVERSITY DID A FINE JOB OF THAT
-BEFORE I GOT THERE, -I'M SORRY,
-WHAT, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? -YOU SAID SO YOURSELF,
ACADEMICS ARE THE FOCUS OF GREENE,
-[WOMAN] PRESTON, -OKAY, YOU--
MR, KELL,,, OH, HEY, DEAN YORK, HOW ARE YOU?
I'M GOOD, THANKS,
I'M LOOKING FOR THE CAPTAIN OF YOUR GYMNASTICS TEAM,
AN APPLE MCCREIGHTON-HILL,
I DON'T HAVE A GYMNASTICS TEAM,
BUT IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR APPLE, SHE'S RIGHT THERE,
I'M ALL DONE WITH HER,
OKAY, APPLE, FOLLOW ME,
IF YOU CAN WALK IN THOSE,,, SHOES,
-AH, -GOT YOUR PURSE?
-OH, -MIGHT WANT TO GRAB THAT,
-SORRY, -EXCUSE US, SIR,
THIS IS PROCEDURAL,
IT'S LOUD,
SO, UNSANCTIONED TA'ING
AND ABETTING STUDENTS WITH ESSAYS,
THUS YOU ARE BEING CHARGED WITH
VIOLATING GREENE'S ACADEMIC INTEGRITY POLICY,
AND YOU COULD BE EXPELLED,
APPLE, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?
MM-HMM,
THE QUIETER YOU BECOME,
THE MORE ABLE YOU ARE TO HEAR,
GOT IT,
"A SMOOTH SEA NEVER MADE
A SKILLED SAILOR," APPLE,
YOU'RE ON ACADEMIC SUSPENSION,
YOU COULD BE EXPELLED
BEFORE THE END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR,
-WHAT? -"THE OBSTACLE,,,
IS THAT PATH,"
DOES THAT ALWAYS WORK?
WHERE IT APPLIES TO THE SITUATION?
CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
YES,
IS APPLE A NICKNAME?
NO, THAT'S MY REAL NAME,
SO YOUR PARENTS WERE FANS OF FRUIT?
COMPUTERS, ACTUALLY,
YOU HEARING WILL BE THIS AFTERNOON,
THIS AFTERNOON?
"WHEN NOTHING GOES RIGHT,,,
GO LEFT,"
IT'S PROCEDURAL,
-THAT SIGNAL THE END? -MM-HMM,
OKAY,
[PHONE BUZZES]
[CALI] WHAT DO YOU WANT?
CALI, THANK GOODNESS,
WHY IS THE OFFICE TAPED OFF?
I NEED TO GET MY SIGN IN AND LOG BOOK
SO THAT I CAN PREPARE FOR MY CASE,
[CALI] OH, WHAT, YOU NEED MY HELP?
YEAH, CAN YOU COME UNLOCK THIS?
UM, I'M SORRY, I CAN'T,
BECAUSE I AM STUCK HERE
EDITING MY PERSONAL STATEMENT
FOR MY INTERVIEW THIS AFTERNOON,
OH, MY GOSH, I AM SO SORRY, CALI,
OH, I MEANT TO DO IT, I TOTALLY DID,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED,
[CALI] I DO,
YOU FORGOT ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE
AND DID EXACTLY WHAT WAS BEST FOR YOU,
JUST LIKE YOU DID WITH THE GYMNASTICS TEAM,
HOW 'BOUT I COME BY AND--
CALI?
WHY DOES EVERYONE HANG UP ON ME?
-[HITS DOOR] -UGH!
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
LOOK, THIS ISN'T ABOUT RUGBY
OR THE GYMNASTICS TEAM,
AND I'M, I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT YOUR TEAM,
BUT I NEED A CHARACTER WITNESS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO TELL THEM THAT I'M SMART
AND THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TO CHEAT,
RIGHT, WELL, YOU'D THINK I COULD HELP YOU WITH THAT,
BUT, SEE, THE GIRL THAT I KNOW WHO IS SMART
STOPPED USING HER BRAIN HER BRAIN IN CLASS LIKE A WEEK AGO,
GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR CASE,
CALI, GOOD LUCK AT YOUR INTERVIEW,
I FORGOT MY LUCKY HANDCUFFS,
HUG?
INAPPROPRIATELY ASSISTING FELLOW STUDENTS
WITH PAPERS, LAB REPORTS, AND ASSIGNMENTS,
AND ACCEPTING UNAUTHORIZED MONEY
FOR HER SERVICES,
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE CHARGES AGAINST YOU?
YEAH, I DO, IT WAS BASED ON THEIR PARENTS' GROSS INCOME,
NOT WHAT YOU CHARGED,
THE CHARGES AGAINST YOU,
OH, YES, YES, I DO,
-AND HOW DO YOU PLEAD? -NOT GUILTY, YOUR HONOR,
OH, YOUR MAJESTY,
YOUR HIGH,,,
I DON'T KNOW, YOUR DEAN YORK,
[GROANS]
SORRY FOR THE ROUGH TREATMENT, MISS LYONS,
YOU UNDERSTAND,
IT IS MY HONOR TO BE HERE,
I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS DAY SINCE I ENTERED GREENE,
YES, IT DOES SEEM THAT YOU'VE BEEN BUSY,
PRACTICING YOUR COVERT OPERATIONS
AS A GYMNASTICS COACH,
-HOW DO YOU,,, -WE'RE THE CIA,
I GOT A "C" ON THE PAPER,
AND SHE CHARGED ME 30 EXTRA DOLLARS
JUST TO REWRITE THE INTRODUCTION,
A "C"? I'VE NEVER HAD A STUDENT GET A "C,"
AND SHE KICKED ME OUT OF THE OFFICE,
WAIT A MINUTE, I REMEMBER YOU,
I DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOUR PAPER,
OKAY, THAT'S ALL FOR THE WITNESSES, THAT'S ALL,
THE DEFENDANT WILL NOW TAKE THE FLOOR,
THE QUESTION IS WHETHER I BETRAYED THE ACADEMIC CODE
AT GREENE UNIVERSITY,
I WILL PROVE TO YOU THAT IN NO WAY
DID I ASSIST THE STUDENTS IN ACCESSING DATA
THEY COULDN'T HAVE FOUND ON THEIR OWN,
I HAD MY OWN THING GOING ON
AND KNEW NOTHING ABOUT GYMNASTICS,
BUT, THEN I REMEMBERED BRENDA THOMPSON,
AGENT 1954 TO 1996,
WHO KNEW NOTHING ABOUT THE SINHALESE PEOPLE
BEFORE SHE WAS ASSIGNED TO GO UNDERCOVER
WITH HER TRIBE IN INDIA,
AND WITHIN TWO YEARS, SHE BECAME THEIR LEADER,
SO, IN ESSENCE,
ALL I DID WAS LEAD THE STUDENTS
TO THE CORRECT RESOURCES FOR EACH ASSIGNMENT,
RESOURCES THAT ARE FREELY AVAILABLE,
RIGHT UNDER THEIR SMART LITTLE NOSES,
NOSES LIKE TODD'S,
AND NOW SHE KNOWS THAT FIVE MINUTES LATE
MEANS 500 LEG LIFTS,
I CAN'T EVEN GO INTO THE GYM ANYMORE,
IT'S JUST,,,
IT'S JUST TOO MANY MEMORIES,
I'M SORRY,
COULD WE GET JANICE IN HERE?
JUST LIKE THAT, HE LEFT,
AND I THOUGHT SOME STUPID BOY AT GREENE
WAS GONNA CHANGE MY LIFE,
AND YOU KNOW WHO DID?
A TEAM OF GYMNASTS,
ALL THE WORK AND SWEAT AND TEARS
WE PUT INTO THE CLASSROOM,
AND THE BEST EDUCATION I RECEIVE WAS AT A LITTLE GYM,
IT'S LIKE YOUR CREEPY CAT POSTER SAID,
"IF WE ALL WORK TOGETHER, WE ALL WIN TOGETHER,"
THE UNSETTLING TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE ASIDE
AND YOUR INSULT OF MY CAT POSTER,
NOTWITHSTANDING,
AS THE UNDERGRADUATE DEAN
OF GREENE UNIVERSITY,
I ANNOUNCE THIS CASE
-DISMISSED, -[SIGHS HEAVILY]
-OKAY? -OKAY,
[DEAN YORK SIGHS]
YOU KNOW,
OUR GREATEST GLORY IS
NOT IN NEVER FALLING,
BUT IN RISING EVERY TIME WE FALL,
CALI, I WAS WRONG,
COLLEGE ISN'T ABOUT MEETING YOUR HUSBAND,
IT'S ABOUT MEETING YOUR BEST FRIENDS,
-PEACE OUT, -LATER,
-[GASPS] -WHOA!
HEY,
I MESSED UP,
I'M TRULY SORRY ABOUT YOUR TEAM,
RIGHT NOW I HAVE TO FIND CALI,
CALI?
FOUND ME,
CALI,
I'M SORRY,
YOU'VE DONE EVERYTHING YOU COULD TO HELP ME,
AND I DIDN'T DO THE ONE THING
YOU ASKED ME TO,
I'M A TERRIBLE FRIEND,
AND A TEAMMATE,
NOT AS TERRIBLE AS I AM AT INTERVIEWING,
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT CAN I DO? HOW CAN I FIX THIS?
THEY WON'T FIND A BETTER RECRUIT,
NO, APPLE, YOU CAN'T FIX THIS,
-BUT,,, -[CELL PHONE BUZZING]
AHEM, [SNIFFLES]
-CALI LYONS, -[MURMURING ON PHONE]
-MM-HMM, -[MURMURING]
OF COURSE,
JUST TELL ME WHEN,
THEY SAID THAT,,,
CRYING SHOWED AN EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT TO A TEAM
THAT SURPASSED THE PERSONAL AWARENESS OF A RECRUIT
WITH FIVE TIMES MY EXPERIENCE,
THEY WANT ME TO START TRAINING WITH THE CIA,
[ALL CHEERING]
-[APPLE] BECAUSE SHE'S SO COOL, -[CALI] I KNOW!
LADIES,
I KNOW I DON'T DESERVE A SECOND CHANCE,
I ASKED YOU TO BE GREAT AND THEN I ABANDONED YOU,
BUT THERE IS ONE MORE COMPETITION,
AND WE'RE ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO HOST IT
BECAUSE WE'RE THE NEWEST MEMBERS,
THE IVY LEAGUE THROWDOWN,
AND I THINK I KNOW HOW TO WIN IT,
WHY SHOULD WE DO ANYTHING YOU SAY?
YEAH, I MEAN, CALI IS THE ONLY ONE
WHO EVER REALLY COACHED US,
AND DIDN'T DUMP US,
YEP, THAT'S TRUE,
YOU KNOW,,,
I THINK APPLE HAS LEARNED SOME HARD LESSONS,
MAYBE WE SHOULD GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE,
AND BESIDES, I WAS JUST COPYING
OTHER COACHES,
I THINK APPLE CAN ACTUALLY GET US
WHERE WE NEED TO BE,
SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY, GUYS?
[ALL] LET'S DO IT,
[ALL LAUGHING]
-[CHEERING] -AND LET'S GET OUT OF THE PIT,
-YES, PLEASE, -LET'S GET OUT OF, UH,,,
OUT OF HERE,
-[LAUGHING CONTINUES] -IT'S REALLY HARD,
[MUSIC PLAYING]
* NOTHIN'S GONNA HOLD ME BACK *
* BEEN WAITIN' FOR A LONG TIME *
* ONE LIFE TO LIVE, AND IT'S ALL MINE *
* NOTHIN'S GONNA STOP ME
* NOTHIN'S GONNA HOLD ME BACK *
* BEEN WAITIN' FOR A LONG TIME *
* ONE LIFE TO LIVE, AND IT'S ALL MINE *
* HARD WORK PAYS OFF
* SEE THE FRUIT OF MY LABOR WHEN I MAKE IT TO THE TOP *
* HOLD ME IN THE JAWS UNTIL MY MOTIVATION'S LOST *
* 'CAUSE I'M NEVER GONNA, NEVER GONNA STOP *
* AND THEY COULD BRING THE ROADBLOCKS *
* BUT I'MMA BEAT 'EM
* AND EVERYONE WHO SAID I COULDN'T DO IT *
* I DON'T NEED 'EM
* 'CAUSE IT'S MY TIME, I FEEL IT IN MY SOUL *
* I GOT ONE LIFE TO LIVE AND I'MMA REACH MY GOALS *
* IT'S GRIND TIME
* NOTHIN'S GONNA STOP ME
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
-COME ON, ANGELINA! YOU CAN DO IT! -LET'S GO, COME ON,
YOU CAN DO IT!
[CHEERING CONTINUES]
[WHISTLES]
[CROWD CHEERING]
YEAH, COURTNEY!
[CELL PHONE RINGTONE]
MOM? YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT'S HAPPENING,
[MOTHER] YOU WERE ABLE TO GET
THE GYMNASTICS TEAM REINSTATED,
AND NOW YOU'RE COMPETING AT THE IVY LEAGUE THROWDOWN,
WHICH YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE OF WINNING,
-HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? -I CAME,
-YOU'RE HERE? -I CAME,
I DIDN'T SAY I'M STILL THERE,
YOU KNOW THERE'S FOUR WHOLE EVENTS?
YEAH, I COMPETED WHEN I WAS LITTLE, TOO,
IT WAS THE SAME THING,
YOUR TEAM LOOKS GREAT, APPLE,
ALL RIGHT, APPLE, YOU'RE UP,
I'M,,, PROUD OF YOU,
WOW, MOM,
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT,
BUT YOUR HAIR LOOKS TERRIBLE,
THE FRONT BRAID WAS SO LAST SPRING,
-OKAY-- -[TONE BEEPS]
-COME ON, -SHE SAID SHE'S PROUD OF ME,
ATTAGIRL,
[CROWD CLAPPING]
[MUSIC INTRO BEGINS]
* THERE'S A PART OF ME THAT WANTS TO LET GO *
* RUN AWAY FROM EVERYTHING THAT I KNOW *
* GETTIN READY PUTTIN' ON MY NEW SHOES *
* NEW DRESS, NEW FACE *
[VOCALIZING]
* GONNA MAKE A NIGHT THAT WE'LL REMEMBER *
* PARTY LIKE WE'RE GONNA LIVE FOREVER *
* FAVORITE SONG IS BLASTING THROUGH THE STEREO *
* CAR'S HERE LET'S GO *
* I'M LIVIN' THE LIFE
* I'M DOIN' IT RIGHT
* JUST LETTING GO, LOSING CONTROL *
* DON'T WAIT AROUND TONIGHT *
* I'M LIVIN' THE LIFE
* I'M MAKIN' IT RIGHT
* JUST PLAYIN' HARD
* I'M BREAKIN' HEARTS
-* DON'T DISAPPEAR -* YOU'RE NOT ALONE
* I'M LIVIN' THE LIFE
* EVEN WHEN THE NIGHT IS OVER *
[VOCALZING CONTINUES]
* WE CAN DO IT OVER AND OVER *
* AND OVER
* I'M LIVIN' THE LIFE
* I'M DOIN' IT RIGHT
* JUST LETTING GO
* LOSING CONTROL
* DON'T WAIT AROUND TONIGHT *
* I'M LIVIN' THE LIFE
* I'M MAKIN' IT RIGHT
* JUST PLAYIN' HARD
* I'M BREAKIN' HEARTS
* IT'S SO GOOD TO FEEL ALIVE *
* I'M LIVIN' THE LIFE
[MUSIC PLAYING]
-[MR, KELLY] THIS PENNY HERE,,, -[APPLE] MM-HMM,
[MR, KELLY] TWO-TIME ELITE NATIONAL CHAMPION, 4,25 GPA,
SHE'S APPLYING HERE,
SO, THESE ARE ALL CURRENT GYMNASTS?
YEAH, YEAH,
WHAT'S THE FUN IN THAT?
IT'S NOT,,, IT'S NOT A GAME,
IT DOESN'T, IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN,
IT'S COLLEGE, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE WORK,
* SHADOWS CAN'T EXIST
* WELL, THAT'S A LIE
* THERE'S A BEAUTY BEHIND IT *
* WHERE THERE'S GOOD I WILL FIND IT *
* SOMETIMES MAGIC ISN'T EASY TO FIND *
* SOMETIMES GOOD THINGS WILL HIDE *
* WHERE THERE'S GOOD I WILL FIND IT *
[VOCALIZING]
* WHERE THERE'S GOOD I WILL FIND IT *
* YEAH, YOU THREW ME KINDA OFF GUARD *
* AND THAT I MET SOMEBODY SO SCARRED *
* BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY *
* YOU WALKED ME TO MY CAR *
* MAKING SURE THAT I WAS HOME SAFE *
* BUT YOU NEVER TRIED TO PLAY THE GAME *
* YOU KNOW THE NIGHTS LIKE THAT *
* WON'T EVER FADE AWAY
* IT'S CRAZY HOW YOU FALL IN LOVE *
* SLOWLY AND THEN ALL AT ONCE *
* I GUESS THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS OBVIOUS *
* SHADOWS CAN'T EXIST
* WELL, THAT'S A LIE
* THERE'S A BEAUTY BEHIND IT *
* WHERE THERE'S GOOD I WILL FIND IT *
* SOMETIMES MAGIC ISN'T EASY TO FIND *
* SOMETIMES GOOD THINGS WILL HIDE *
* WHERE THERE'S GOOD I WILL FIND IT *
[VOCALIZING CONTINUES]
* WHERE THERE'S GOOD I WILL FIND IT *
* SOMETIMES WE TRY TOO HARD *
* LOOKING FOR THINGS WE DON'T REALLY WANT *
* IT'S ALL WRITTEN IN THE STARS *
* AND IT JUST TAKES TIME
* TILL YOU REALIZE
* SHADOWS CAN'T EXIST
* WELL, THAT'S A LIE
* THERE'S A BEAUTY BEHIND IT *
* WHERE THERE'S GOOD I WILL FIND IT *
* SOMETIMES MAGIC ISN'T EASY TO FIND *
* SOMETIMES GOOD THINGS WILL HIDE *
* WHERE THERE'S GOOD I WILL FIND IT *