[piano music playing]
[film reel clacking]
[muffled thudding]
[jump rope smacking]
[muffled thudding]
[booming]
[ominous music playing]
[exhaling loudly]
[music intensifying]
[grunting]
[punching]
[both grunting]
[panting]
[metallic whoosh]
[whistling]
[grunting]
[yelling]
Yeah,
[inaudible], huh?
Come on,
[slow applause]
Nice work,
I knew you would dispatch Carson and McNalley easily,
but it was still fun to watch,
Did you really think I would let you leave without a fight?
Go ahead,
Maybe I'll miss,
[intense music playing]
[grunting]
[moaning]
Come on,
I know you're better than this,
[grunting]
[gunshot]
[panting]
[laughing]
Really?
Is this your idea of a going-away party?
I knew you'd love it,
Oh,
Dang, Alex,
I think you gave me a concussion,
Are those my replacements?
You're irreplaceable,
[locker clanging]
You had blanks in here, right?
Are you sure you're not going to miss all of this?
Yeah,
I'm pretty sure I've had enough excitement for one lifetime,
Why don't you let me know where you're going?
I'll write you,
Oh, Jeremiah, you know if I told
you that, I'd have to kill you,
You know, I never really did apologize,
For what?
I know what happened in the Philippines,
It changed things for you,
[sighing]
It's fine,
I've given a lot more pain than I could ever receive,
What are you gonna give now?
[music playing]
[beeping]
[SINGING] Come on, now, show me what you're working with,
Go ahead,
Give me just a little bit,
You know I like the way you move it,
Come on, come on, get it on,
Come on, girl, show me what you're working with,
AUTOMATED WOMAN'S VOICE [OVER GPS]: In 200 feet,
turn left at Longdale Road,
That's not right,
AUTOMATED WOMAN'S VOICE [OVER GPS]: Rerouting,
Continue on Highway 57 for 143 miles,
[music playing]
[MUMBLING] Just past the grain mill,
Right at the stable,
[phone ringing]
[sighing]
Hey!
I was just about to call you,
MAN [ON PHONE]: You missed your deadline,
Wait-- is it the first already now?
30 days in September, April, June, and Nov--
[inhaling sharply] my bad,
I'll have the money to you in a couple of days--
a week, tops-- maybe two,
MAN [ON PHONE]: Have you ever see the skin
ripped off a man's hand--
all the bones and the tendons still writhing about?
Nope,
I can't say I have,
MAN [ON PHONE]: One week,
DANNY: OK, showtime,
[doorbell ringing]
[piano music emerging]
Oh, sorry,
[sniffling]
Danny-- yes,
Your grandmother said you'd be coming,
Uh-- yeah,
We're-- we're very close,
Of course,
Come in,
She's upstairs,
So how much time do you think she has?
I mean, how is she?
It's hard to say--
a few days or a few months,
I don't know,
Today's been one of her good days,
She's very lucid,
I'm sure it helps having family around,
Oh,
Look, Claire,
Your grandson, Danny, is here,
She's nearly deaf,
DANNY: Hi, Grammy,
Uh, your nurse here says that you're doing very good,
I spoke to your doctor,
He's very optimistic about your most recent blood work,
Oh, here, let me-- let me help you with that,
Hey, these pillows are a little bit small,
She might be more comfortable with bigger ones,
Her heating pad is off,
You must be cold,
[teapot whistling]
I'll go get that,
DANNY: All right,
[MUFFLED] You can cut the shit, boy,
[coughing]
Grammy?
Really?
The only reason I didn't have Alexandra there tell you
to turn right around and drive away
is because the poor girl hasn't been laid in years,
and I thought you'd at least be useful for that--
the only useful skill you inherited from your father,
Your poor father put so much time
and money into you only to see you
disappoint him at every turn--
probably what sent him to such an early grave,
I may be deaf, but I'm not stupid,
I know why you're here,
I can only assume you've burned through your trust fund,
And here you are now playing world's greatest grandson,
It gives me great pleasure to tell you that when I die,
you will get nothing,
While you may be my last blood relative,
technically, you are a bastard, a painful remnant
of my son's extramarital affair with that harlot
you call Mother,
If you want to keep up the charade, I can't stop you,
But you are [gasping] wasting your time,
ALEX: Who's ready for some tea?
[SINGING] Can't breathe without you,
Can't breathe without you,
[slurping loudly]
Well, well, well, look who it is,
[laughing]
Hey,
Hey, Seth and-- well, um, hello,
Wow,
Good to-- good to see you,
Is it?
Yeah,
See, that surprises me,
What are you doing around here?
I'm just--
I'm just visiting my grandmother,
SETH: How is she?
She's still alive,
SETH: Mm,
So you're just being the good ole grandson,
just checking in on her, right?
Yeah, pretty much,
Now I kind of feel bad,
See, I thought you came back for all of her money,
I remember when you were a kid, all you used to talk about
was that, um, that inheritance,
But I guess you're just checking in on her and all, right?
Right,
BARTENDER: Is everything OK here, gentlemen?
Yes, everything here is great!
Thanks for asking,
I'm going to buy this guy a drink,
- Oh-- - No, no,
You know what?
Let's make it three,
We might be here a while,
Man, it is so good to see you,
It is so good to see you,
[DRUNKENLY] And then, she's like,
you're a disappointment or some shit,
And then she says, you're not going
to get a penny, which is really messed
up because I had plans for it,
Probably just going to give it to a stupid, bullshit charity,
[laughing] - Probably,
Yeah, you're right,
Yeah, but I'm sitting here trying to remember
the last time that I saw you,
[knocking on table]
Was it DC?
You know what?
I think it was DC,
You know, it's getting kind of late,
so I should probably just get going,
You see, he was just a young punk
trying to run with our crowd,
And honestly, we'd just tell him to piss off-- remember that?
But he shows up with a hot tip on a money
drop in this old, busted safe,
It was just too good to ignore,
I would just go this way,
So there we are, me and my crew on the day of, and we
realize this piece-of-shit safe is so rusted,
we can't even open it up,
So Einstein here takes a sledgehammer
to the hardwood floor that's connected to the safe,
And then we have to carry the damn thing out to the van
and jimmy it open before the cops show up,
And guess what's inside?
Nothing-- absolutely nothing,
Now, I'd vouched for this guy right here,
and I'm standing there with my crew
with our pecker in our hands,
Yeah, but Seth, I told you, I got some bad information
about that drop,
You know, my crew actually thought that you lifted
some of that money in transit,
And I said no, no, no,
That is absolutely ridiculous,
But it would account for this Rolex
watch, the "Vesucci" suit, and the $85 haircut,
Which is a hand- me-down, a knockoff, and I get my hair
cut at a barber college!
[WHISPERING] Relax, relax,
$12,
OK,
Danny, hey, what's in the past is in the past,
Hey, if that wouldn't have happened,
I wouldn't be living the dream I'm living right now,
Seth, I'm really sorry,
If there was any way that I could make it up to you,
I would, I--
Oh, really?
Why don't you tell us a little bit more about your granny,
[piano music playing]
[doorbell ringing]
Hey, Gunnar!
Is today payday?
Yup,
Third Saturday of every month except for April and November,
on account of the holidays,
You always seem so surprised,
$8, right?
$9 now-- inflation on account of those leftist hippies
raising the minimum wage,
Sure,
Gunnar, I'm sorry, but give me one second,
[sighing]
All right,
Here you go,
Now, can you break a $100 bill?
Do I look like I carry that kind of change around with me?
OK,
Well, how about you take the money and consider
us paid up for the rest of the year?
I don't do business that way,
I get paid for the services rendered and only then,
Huh,
What kind of Hitler Youth camp did your parents send you to?
OK,
How about you take this as a tip for a job well done?
Uh, no,
No, no, no,
This seems like a trick,
You know what?
Have your money by tomorrow or else
I'm going to have to report you,
[laughing]
Report me to who?
Just have it!
ALEX: Bye, Gunnar,
[ominous music playing]
[knocking]
DANNY: Grandma?
[knocking]
CLAIRE [OVER INTERCOM]: What's with all the knocking?
You definitely have your mother's brains,
Grandma, is everything OK?
CLAIRE [OVER INTERCOM]: I just want some privacy,
Where's your nurse, Alexandra?
CLAIRE [OVER INTERCOM]: I was thinking the same thing,
She's supposed to tell you to bugger off,
I really think you got the wrong idea about me, Grandma,
Why don't we sit down, and we can work this out?
I really care about you,
CLAIRE [OVER INTERCOM]: Not interested,
All right, Grammy,
Have it your way,
I'll just help myself,
ALEX: Danny?
Hey,
Good that you're here,
Hi,
DANNY: Hi,
So sorry to surprise you like this,
I was, uh, just running errands, and I
thought that I would swing by,
Did you get a chance to say hi?
DANNY: Uh, yep,
How did it go?
Terrible,
I'm sorry,
She's having an especially bad day today,
Maybe try again tomorrow,
Yeah,
Hey, uh, what-- what are you doing
with the rest of your day?
Well, let me see,
I have to unload a truckload of supplies, feed the horses,
change Claire's bedpan, then treat myself to some mac
and cheese for dinner,
[laughing]
Well, I don't know what the bedpan but let me
help you with the rest of that,
[knocking]
So how do you know Freddie?
We were overseas together,
Military guy,
You guys like it rough, huh?
I guess it's all that PTSD,
You're not blonde,
Oops,
[purse jangling]
Sorry,
All right, Straight to it,
I guess it's your hour,
Speaking of--
[clearing throat]
So what are you into?
Bad schoolgirl?
Or should I just talk dirty to you?
[grunting]
[screaming]
Hey,
[screaming]
Hey, come here,
Hey, hey,
Hey, hey, hey,
Shh, shh, shh,
It's OK, It's OK,
Hey, it's OK,
It's OK,
I'm not going to do anything,
I'm not gonna do anything, OK?
Shut up,
That's good,
That's real good,
It's OK,
Yeah,
See?
That's a good girl,
It's OK,
[grunting]
ALEX: Wow,
I'm sorry to hear she said that,
DANNY: Yep,
Not a dime,
Well, my only inheritance was my father's old army rucksack,
And not to be a one-upper or anything,
but your grandmother called me Helen for the first year
I worked for her,
Why?
That was the name of her last caregiver,
She figured we're probably all the same,
You know, my dad was like that with his dogs,
He'd get these giant schnauzers, name them all Lurch,
Lurch One died,
Then there was Lurch Two and Lurch Three and--
How many Lurches were there?
You know, I don't know,
I kind of lost track,
[laughing]
[music playing]
[prostitute screaming] RUDY [THROUGH WALL]: Stop,
Stop, hey, Look, enough,
Enough,
Shut up,
PROSTITUTE: Help! RUDY [THROUGH WALL]: Shut up!
PROSTITUTE: Don't!
Help!
RUDY [THROUGH WALL]: Hey, look, look,
Stop it, Stop it,
Come here,
[screaming and crying]
Hi, Ginger,
Hey,
Now, she can be a little feisty--
kind of like her owner,
[ginger neighing]
DANNY: I can tell,
So Helen-- sorry, Alex--
[laughing]
--what are you doing tonight--
you know, after the mac and cheese?
'Cause I was thinking maybe we can go get a drink,
Come on,
It'll do you some good to get out of the house,
Plus, she'll be fine,
I don't know, Danny,
I don't think it's such a good idea,
What time is Claire's bedtime?
These days, like, um, around 7 o'clock,
Perfect,
Pick you up at 8:00,
[neighing]
See?
Ginger agrees,
Ginger, what do you think?
No?
[neighing]
[music playing]
[SINGING] --give you a call,
What the hell are you doing, man?
We're about to hit the biggest score of our lives,
and you're going to screw it up by messing
around with a hooker?
Who's she going to tell, man?
She's a whore!
Shut up!
Shut up,
Come here,
[prostitute crying]
[WHISPERING] Here, let's get you out of here,
Come on,
[yelling]
[coughing]
[muffled screaming]
[gasping]
[thudding]
She wasn't going to tell anyone,
They always tell,
[door closing]
[exhaling nervously]
[music playing]
We should probably wait to put these on,
Yeah,
ALEX: I'll be right there,
Take your time,
Wow,
Hi,
Give me two seconds,
I'm going go check on Claire one last time,
No worries,
Oh, shit!
Oh, what the hell is that?
That's Harold, my grandfather,
I had him stuffed,
Relax,
It's a dummy,
I teach CPR on the weekends,
I do call him Harold, though,
You all set?
Yeah, let's go,
Bye, Harold,
How's Granny?
ALEX: She's dead to the world,
DANNY: Great,
[engine rumbling]
You bury her,
I'll meet you out front,
And stash the truck somewhere,
[SINGING] It's about to be on like a flame
when you strike a match,
When you're kissing me, you're kissing me like that,
I feel overdressed,
What?
No, you're great,
Come on,
Hey, excuse me,
Could we get a couple menus?
I don't work here,
But I think you need to order at the bar,
OK, sorry,
Oof,
Not starting out great, am I?
[door creaking]
Shit!
SETH: It's a dummy,
Come on,
Let's go check upstairs,
Let's go,
First time drinking beer?
What is that?
Strike two?
No, not at all,
But if I didn't know any better, I'd
say you're a little nervous,
I'm a little nervous,
I thought you just looked so stunning,
you just throw me off my game,
OK, OK,
How about we just drop the game, and let's
just enjoy some drinks and have an adult conversation,
[glasses clinking]
There it is!
Shut up,
You're going to wake the old lady, all right?
It's a quick grab-- in and out,
[laughing]
Shots on the house for the good-looking couple,
[laughing]
Oh, thank you,
All right, when were these ordered?
I-- look, I did-- things are happening,
It is out of my control,
It's out of my hands,
Oh, it's out of your control, huh?
We are a good-looking couple,
Yeah, you only live once,
So YOLO,
Oh, no,
No, no, no,
You did not just say YOLO,
I think I did,
Mm,
Oh,
[exhaling loudly]
Ho-ah,
ALEX: OK, Danny, really,
I have a confession to make,
Oh, yeah?
I was surprised you asked me out,
Really?
Did you think you weren't my type?
No, no, it's not that,
I just thought you were gay,
[coughing]
Wait, what?
Why? - No,
It's not a bad thing,
You're just-- you know, you're more,
um, put together than most of the guys around here,
Mm,
Noted,
[laughing]
Melnick,
Melnick, Melnick, Melnick,
You got to be kidding me,
Hey-- psst,
Nothing here says Melnick,
How in the hell we gonna open this thing up?
Come over and help me,
[laughing]
Girl, you are twisted,
OK, you know, see--
right there, that's the kind of stuff that confuses people,
What?
Why?
"Girl, you are twisted,"
OK, that sounded a little confusing,
All right,
Relax,
You might still get lucky today,
[phone ringing]
Just sec,
Let me just see who this is,
Is everything OK?
Yeah,
Wow,
This beer's really got to me,
I'm just going to, um, be right back,
SETH [ON PHONE]: Finally,
DANNY: What's wrong?
SETH [ON PHONE]: Wrong model of safe, you dipshit,
This is some kind of hobnail I've never heard of,
[groaning]
Keep her busy another hour,
[scoffing]
Easier said than done,
SETH [ON PHONE]: Why?
Your charm's not working?
It's working too well,
I don't know how much longer I can put her off,
Woo!
Much better,
Whoa!
Looks like we're ready for another round,
It's late, Let's go home,
What?
Why?
We caused enough damage already,
Hey, All right,
Well, let me just get the tab,
I already did,
[music playing]
DANNY: Everything OK?
I just shouldn't have left her that long,
I have a bad feeling,
I'm sure she's fine,
Hey, it's a beautiful night,
Let's go for a walk,
[danny sighing]
[WHISPERING] Seth?
Seth?
Son of a bitch,
God,
[alex exhaling in relief]
Everything OK?
Yeah,
Did you say something a minute ago?
Me?
No,
Oh, my god,
I'm so sorry I rushed out like that,
I feel like such an idiot,
We were having such a good time and--
No, No, no, no,
I just-- I got spooked a bit,
I-- I'm really sorry,
Listen, I completely understand, all right?
You're just doing your job,
You know, we can still have a good time,
Yeah?
[moaning]
Pretty presumptuous, don't you think?
Uh--
Just kidding,
[moaning and kissing]
[laughing]
Oh,
[sighing]
That was unexpected,
Yeah,
I'm gonna sleep so good tonight,
Yeah, me too,
[sighing]
[crickets chirping]
I guess this means no breakfast in the morning?
No, I just figured you'd want to sleep in,
No, it's fine,
[door opening]
What was that?
You wait here,
I'll go check it out,
[grunting]
[high-pitched buzz]
DANNY: [VOICE WARPED] This isn't what we talked about,
SETH: We gotta figure out the damn combination of the safe,
We ought to be gone by now,
DANNY: Let's just walk away,
SETH: No,
We're sticking to the plan,
[dragging]
[music playing]
[thudding]
[rooster crowing]
[gasping]
[struggling]
DANNY: You assholes,
You were supposed to tell me when she wakes up,
There goes saying I had nothing to do with this,
I can not believe she had sex with him,
That's kind of surprising,
I actually thought you were gay,
You watch her,
We're going to go take care of the safe,
Still?
You've been at it all night, Seth, Rudy,
Thanks for saying our name, Danny,
Hey, you're not doing me any favors,
[punching]
I don't care what she knows,
Once we get that safe open, she dies,
DANNY: Whoa, hey,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, No,
I did not agree to that,
Shut up!
She stays alive for now, until we get the money,
After that, who knows?
Let's go,
You know how to use this?
Of course,
[alex grunting]
ALEX: Help,
[sighing]
I guess there's not going to be a second date, huh?
[alex grunting]
All right, look, if I--
I take off the gag, you promise not to scream?
[exhaling sharply]
Danny, you don't need to do this,
We can just walk away,
I can't do that,
I want to go,
What time is it?
Claire will be up any minute now, and--
DANNY: Shh!
We will cross that bridge when we get to it,
Just for-- for now, just sit tight,
[drumming]
SETH: OK,
I've read it 12 times,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
What in the hell are you doing?
Stop!
What are you doing?
Worth a shot,
Now, if I go bust in on that old woman right now,
I guarantee you I'm getting that combination,
Yeah, and she'll probably have a friggin' heart
attack in there, too,
You know she has one of those life [inaudible] or something,
We don't need that added complication,
Yes!
You got it,
Step one,
We're getting there,
You know, you're the first person I've been
with in a really long time,
You're not going to get all sentimental on me now, are you?
Because I just-- I was just trying
to get you out of the house,
I mean, you weren't really into me, were you?
I-- I didn't take you as a romantic type,
[music playing]
[banging keyboard]
Shh!
RUDY: Special reconnaissance regiment,
Things just got a lot more interesting,
So Rudy tied you up pretty good, so it's pointless,
[sighing]
You see, the thing about tying someone up to a chair--
it isn't about how tight you do it or how thick the rope is,
It's not even how strong the person is,
The only thing that matters is how strong the chair is,
[crashing]
[yelping]
[gunshot]
[grunting]
[kicking chair piece]
[yelling]
[grunting]
Oh!
[knife clicking]
[grunting]
Oh!
Get off him,
Enough!
That's enough!
What are you doing?
Just shoot her,
Just shoot her!
[gunshots]
[panting]
[rudy grunting]
[thumping]
[shattering]
[footsteps]
[breathing heavily]
Oh!
Hey, just so I'm clear, you knew I had a vest on, right?
She still here or she make a run for it?
She's still here,
How do you know?
I saw something,
Let's just say crazy knows crazy,
You gonna tell me what the hell just happened here?
What's this about a special reconnaissance regiment?
RUDY: They're no joke,
Special forces-- mostly Black Ops,
I crossed paths with a few of them in Afghanistan,
They were like ghosts,
SETH: So you're telling me we got a big problem,
RUDY: Yeah,
Nothing I can't handle, though,
[groaning]
[moaning]
Ah!
[breathing heavily]
SETH: Hey, it's a good thing your grammy's deaf,
So I thought you said you knew her,
Any other surprises you'd like to let us in on?
ALEX [OVER INTERCOM]: Hello, gentlemen,
There's an intercom in the house,
Well, hello there, little lady,
I don't suppose there's any scenario
that allows us all to walk out of this house in one piece?
ALEX [OVER INTERCOM]: No,
I don't see how that's possible,
Well, since you can't be bought and you won't leave,
I guess we're going to have us a little bit of a dogfight,
ALEX [OVER INTERCOM]: Yep,
You really care about that old lady that much, huh?
All right,
It's time for you to earn your money,
I don't want to see or hear from that tramp ever again,
you got it?
[cocking gun]
And you, lover boy, you're pretty much useless,
Hey, you're going to need all the help
you can get with that girl,
Try again,
OK, well, till that safe is open,
you have no idea what else might happen,
All right,
But if you start to become a liability,
I will not think twice about putting
my boot through your skull,
You got that?
[exhaling]
[music playing]
[grass rustling]
[intense music playing]
I'm sorry about that,
I was going to say something, but I was enjoying the show,
Well, I enjoyed giving it,
So this Danny guy, that's your type?
I thought for sure you'd go for someone with a bit more edge,
I saw your tags,
I'm impressed,
I, uh, opted for the Marines myself,
Well, you know what they say--
join the Air Force if you have no guts,
Join the Marines if you have no brains,
Let me guess--
5150?
No-- Section 8?
Officially, no,
Really?
All right,
We were on a scout just south of Azizabad,
[snapping] Like that, we start taking
gunfire from atop this hill, so I didn't waste any time,
I grab the M-80--
pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop--
I started carving up the forest, predator style,
And after about a minute, my lieutenant,
he's screaming at me,
Hold your fire!
Those are our guys!
[QUIETLY] I thought to myself, I don't care who it is,
They fired first,
So I kept going,
Boom!
[laughing hoarsely]
--till they were dead--
all of 'em,
Shit, the rest of the guys in my squad were so terrified,
no one said a word,
I thought for sure, once I got back to camp,
I'd be court-martialed,
But no, they-- discharge,
Half a pension,
I guess they didn't want the, uh, bad publicity,
But see now-- now, I feel like I'm talking too much,
Tell me more about you,
But see that-- that right there--
huh-uh,
I wouldn't do that if I were you,
Really?
What's in your belt?
I can grab that knife and throw it in your neck
before you can even get the hammer cocked,
Show me,
[grunting]
Ow,
[clattering]
Not bad,
Not exactly my neck but not bad,
[grunting]
Oh, oh,
[both grunting]
[screaming]
[crashing]
[alex straining]
[splashing]
[water bubbling]
[exhaling]
Not bad for a marine, huh?
[yelling]
[groaning]
[slamming]
Not bad at all,
You don't think Rudy did anything to her, do you?
Well, I got some bad news for you there, lover boy,
This doesn't end with the two of you
running off to the Caribbean,
I know that,
It-- it's just that you said that nobody
was going to get hurt,
Shh,
[tapping]
SETH: Go check that out,
Seriously?
[sighing]
Man, come on,
[WHISPERING] Hey, is that your grandmother?
Is she ambulatory?
Can she walk?
Yeah, I think so,
Actually, I don't know,
SETH: Psst,
Hey, what the hell is this?
Get up here now!
DANNY: Oh!
Oh,
Where's your friend?
[grunting]
[choking]
Well, I guess it's safe to say you're not some ordinary nurse,
Bet you didn't know, little lady,
but I did a little time in the pen,
Oh, yeah,
Yep,
Delaware State Penitentiary,
Yeah, I did a variety of shit jobs but none more important
than the time I was down at the gallows,
[alex gasping]
Did you know that Delaware is one of the last states
to use hanging as a form of capital punishment?
And yours truly, he got to witness one,
[grunting]
You know, the thing about hangings, the lucky ones
would have their necks snap from the drop,
and they'd be out [snapping] like that,
If they made it past that, well--
well, they're in for a very long, torturous ordeal
where their lungs try to come up and--
and they can't get any air,
[laughing]
Look at you,
You know, I watched old Ronny Oberman
struggle for 45 minutes,
So my question to you, miss, is how long
do you think you're gonna last?
DANNY: It's a cop,
We're screwed, - No,
I don't think so,
She could probably escape if she wanted to,
She's here for the same reason we
are-- she wants the damn money,
Help me get her down,
Come on!
Hurry up,
[ringing]
Yeah, the Petersons called saying they heard something
like gunshots a little bit ago,
Yeah, I heard that, too,
What do you think it was?
Probably just some kids shooting
cans in the wash or something,
Yeah,
Well, thanks for checking in,
How's Claire doing?
I think I'd like to talk to her,
Hey, honey, have you seen my razor?
Oh, hey, officer,
Holy shit,
Danny!
Yeah,
It's me, Tommy--
Tommy Tillman,
You used to play Little League with my brother,
How's it going?
TOMMY: Good,
Man, he had one hell of a curveball for a 10-year-old,
Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, I remember you used to cry every time he struck you out,
Yep,
What are you, uh, what are you doing back here?
I thought you moved away,
Visiting,
Claire is my grandmother,
She's never mentioned you before,
Yeah,
That sounds about right,
Well, Tommy, we're getting ready to head out,
Um, is there anything else we can help you with?
[sighing]
I mean, I really should talk to Claire,
[rumbling]
Is there somebody else in the house?
- No-- I don't-- - No,
No, Hmm-mm,
[yelling]
ALEX: No!
[grunting]
Shoot her,
What the hell are you doing?
Shoot her!
[dinging]
DANNY: It's some kid,
I'll take care of that,
No, wait,
We only have a few hours--
tops-- before that cop's buddies come poking around here,
It'll be half that time if that kid goes missing,
You ever point a gun at me again, you better use it,
DANNY: Oh, shit,
[music coming from headphones]
Alex!
So what's up with the kid?
I owe him $9,00,
I dare you to do that again,
[snapping]
Ow!
[grunting]
[laughing]
You know what?
I think I just figured it out,
If we get the kid, she'll do whatever we want,
I'm going to go look out front,
If you see him, you grab him,
Go get him,
[birdsong]
[ominous music playing]
[yelling]
Just get the hell out of here, kid,
Alex!
I don't work for free, you know!
[grunting]
[laughing]
Gunnar!
Glad I caught you,
It's $9, right?
Um, let me see,
I got-- perfect,
can you break a $10?
[scoffing] - Yeah,
Thanks,
[sighing]
[panting]
You all right?
He's all right,
I'm cracking open that safe, and you take care of that bitch
once and for all,
[footsteps receding]
[breathing painfully]
[grunting]
[beeping]
[phone vibrating] JEREMIAH: Let's go,
Let's go,
Pick up the pace,
Yeah, yeah,
Who is this?
ALEX [ON PHONE]: Is that any way to treat an old friend?
Alex?
Hey, it's been years,
How are you?
Can't complain,
How about you?
Still babysitting dumb and dumber?
Yeah,
Even morons can be useful at times,
What about me?
Was I one of your youthful morons?
Absolutely not,
[grunting softly]
Are you OK?
I'm fine,
JEREMIAH [ON PHONE]: Alex, I know you,
Where are you?
I can have a team there ASAP,
No,
I thought I could leave it all behind,
But no matter where I go, it always finds me,
Where are you?
You're using a satellite phone, right?
Send me your coordinates,
It's been really nice to catch up with you,
I'll talk to you soon,
[beeping]
Alex,
Alex!
Shit,
[intense music playing]
[door banging]
[alex grunting in pain]
[crying softly]
[panting]
[breathing heavily]
[murmuring] No, no,
No, I got you now,
Yeah,
Even though it seems a little too easy
for it all to end this way,
So why don't you drop the gun, and we can even the scales?
I would,
I really would, except I am sick and tired of you!
It's over!
[crying quietly]
Are you crying?
[laughing]
You're crying? [grunting]
Oh, oh,
Oh!
[gun clicking]
[grunting]
[yelling]
Yeah,
Yeah!
Like I said, crazy knows crazy!
[gasping]
[WHISPERING] Yeah,
Yeah,
Look at that,
You--
Yeah,
[inaudible],
No,
You're scared that gun's gonna jam again,
I'm gonna carve up this pretty little face of yours,
No,
No, you're not gonna pull that trigger,
'Cause you're no killer,
You don't have the ba--
[gunshot]
[thudding]
[panting]
Oh, come on, man,
I don't like the sound of that,
It sounds to me like Rudy's down there
taking care of some business,
Yes!
One more, and we got her,
Let's just get out of here,
Things are getting out of control,
OK, you know what?
You need to calm down,
Now, your little girlfriend became more of a problem
than we anticipated, so if you'd shut the hell up,
let me do my job, then guess what?
We'll get out of here,
[battery clicking]
Well, that doesn't look right,
Hey, get your ass in here,
I got her open,
DANNY: Thank god,
So how much do you think is in there?
Well, I'm not really too good at math,
but I would venture to say nothing,
I should take your nuts and shove 'em down your throat
right now!
No, I saw it!
I saw it!
I know it's in there!
Dammit!
Something's not right about this, Seth,
Something's not right,
Why would she disable our cars?
So that we're trapped?
Why would she do that?
[honking]
And there's Rudy,
[WHISPERING] You better find the money,
You know, in the beginning, you were an added complication,
Then you became a nuisance,
And I thought you were kind of hot,
But now, you're just going to die,
[grunting]
Come here,
ALEX: Ha!
I'm actually impressed,
[yelling]
[alex grunting]
[straining]
[seth moaning]
[door banging]
[creaking]
[banging]
[seth moaning]
Oh, Seth, you know I really enjoyed
the little how-to speech you gave earlier on hanging,
No, no,
No, no, no,
I actually knew about the whole suffocation thing,
You just seemed so eager to share,
I didn't want to interrupt your moment,
I've witnessed a hanging, too,
[exhaling painfully]
When I was embedded in an Al-Qaeda cell
in the Philippines, I stood by and watched as they strung
up an entire missionary group--
men, women, children,
I watched as they all helplessly died,
[gunshot]
It was really nice meeting you, Seth,
[groaning]
Hey, Grandma,
I'm sure by now you heard all the ruckus,
You are a heavy sleeper,
[gasping]
She died yesterday,
What-- did you really think I would leave her alone
just to go on a date with you?
But-- but, why?
Why? Why would you do that?
Why would you leave her?
You're her caretaker,
It's caregiver,
And besides, the coroner couldn't come until Monday,
Should I have put her in the freezer?
But I--
I talked to her,
Grandma?
Is everything OK?
I'm fine,
I just want some privacy,
[laughing]
OK,
Relax,
It wasn't that funny,
It's mine,
It's all mine,
The old bat never had a will, and I'm
her only living relative,
So wherever the money is, this house, everything-- it's mine,
[laughing crazily]
[grunting and straining]
See, Claire was scared of that, so she adopted me,
Wait,
How can you even adopt an adult?
You know, I thought the same thing, too,
Apparently you can, which would make me the next of kin,
Now, Danny, you can try to fight this and hire lawyers,
but with your lack of resources and overall sketchy past,
it would be a lost cause on your part,
Oh, Danny, Danny, Danny, I'm starting
to feel really sorry for you,
[creaking]
[snapping]
[thudding]
[gasping]
Tell you what-- you can go,
What?
That's right, You can go,
You can just get up and leave,
I'm not going to snap your neck or anything,
[laughing]
I even put the battery back in the car for you,
And one last thing before you go--
you see, I haven't quite figured out what
I'm going to spend it on yet,
I don't know,
I'll probably just donate it to some animal
rescue or something,
Are you a cat or a dog person?
[grunting]
[groaning]
[laughing]
God damn it,
You fight worse than you screw,
[danny grunting]
[breathing loudly]
[SCREAMING] God!
Ah!
[panting]
Alex!
[rattling]
[footsteps]
Alex?
[slamming]
[SINGSONG] Alex?
How many of those damn things she have lying around here?
[whistling]
Alex!
[glove slapping]
You just can't get enough, can you?
I'm actually going to miss all of this when it's over,
This is the most fun I've had in years,
[grunting]
Wait!
Oh!
[bones snapping]
[thudding]
ALEX: Not my best forgery, but it's
the best I can do in a pinch,
[beeping]
[ringing]
OPERATOR [ON PHONE]: 911,
What's your emergency?
[HYSTERICALLY] Oh, my god!
Please help me!
They've broken into the house,
They're trying to kill me,
Please! [WHISPERING] Oh, my god,
They can hear me,
Well, that's interesting,
[music playing]
[piano music playing]
DANNY: All right, everyone,
Last round of action,
Fold,
I raise ya' 10,
Fold,
Call your 10,000 and raise you 10,000,
[coughing]
Woo,
All right,
I'll call,
I'm out,
Full house,
[inhaling sharply]
Oh, man,
[groaning] Wait!
I'm not sure, but I think four queens beat a full house,
[non-english speech]
This is some bullshit,
Oh, come on,
Lennox, nobody likes a sore loser,
All right, ladies and gentlemen, that is it for me tonight,
Oh, you guys know which way it is to the pisser?
I'll find it,
Wait a minute,
Well, what do you know?
Son of a bitch,
[laughing]
[sighing loudly]
Can I help you?
ALEX: I'm not holding anything,
Now I am,
I still have all the money-- well, most of it,
But I could give it all back to you,
Yes, I know you will,
[door opening]
Cheatin' little cocksucker,
[non-english speech],, cocksucker,
What are you doing?
If they kill you, then I don't get my money,
[yelling]
DANNY: Oh!
[music playing]