Tim: I'm running for San Bernardino
District Attorney,
Yeah,
I'm coming out here,
I'm a one-man band, meeting the businesses,
talking to voters,
and getting the word out about my candidacy,
Yes, for District Attorney, I've said that three times now,
I'm not that corrupt, Washington-style,
swamp-style,,, District Attorney,
Look, I'm strong on crime,
I'm strong on crime,
I'm him! I don't have a beard, I,,,
He doesn't have a beard in this,
This is me, Yeah, I am me, I am,,, I just have a beard,
And I have sunglasses on, See?
That's a documentary crew filming,
They're making a film about my campaign,
See me?
That's me, Okay?
I just have a beard now because we did a focus group
and people liked the beard,
Toni Newman says the beard works,
Well, Vincent Rosetti
and some other clown, Sandoval,
So, I'm third party, Just look for Tim Heidecker,
If you have the Internet, you can go
to timheideckerforda,com,
And I'm gonna bring change,
All right?
All the,,, all the chips are in on this,
sort of all the,,,
Everything's, um, on the line here,
And, you know, financially,
emotionally, sort of, where I'm at,,,
this is sort of my,,,
I don't wanna say my last play, but it's my big play,
I think we've put ourselves in a perfect position
to really come from out of nowhere,
be the outsider,
and I think we have a very good chance
of winning, too,
Tim: Oh, hi, I love dogs, so this is perfect,
- Here's a,,, - What are you running for?
- District Attorney, - (dog barking)
Yeah, running against Vincent Rosetti,
This is not a vote for me,
It's just to let me get on the ballot,
I'm running as an independent candidate,
Get on the ballot is a big part of my day, every day,
At 15 signatures today, so feeling pretty good,
We're just basically taking it street by street,
and it's been a slog,
This is basically,,, Fontana has been somewhere
where I've pretty much covered the past three or four days,
I'm on my own, I'm a one-man band,
I've got Rialto to hit,
I've got Highland, Redlands, Loma Linda,
the city of San Bernardino,
and we have to cover all that area,
It's 108 degrees out,
Ugh,
You know, it's a lot of ground to cover
'cause, first of all, most people aren't home,
Knocking on their door on a Wednesday at 1:00 p,m,,,
(clears throat) You know, I'm just,,, It's tough,
We need, you know, something like 500 signatures
by next week,
But we're on track,
We're very optimistic about it, and that's,,,
Toni's cracking the whip on that
'cause if we're not on the ballot,
then we're in real trouble, You guys voters? You 18?
Do you vote? No?
I'm running for District Attorney,
No, I'm running for District Attorney,
Sort of like governor,
It's the way to change your future,
All right, thank you, Be safe,
We have tremendous, you know,
support on the Internet for the campaign,
and we have a real movement happening,
Timheideckerforda,com, It's a website,
And you can go on there
and fill out our petition to get me on the ballot,
We need 500 signatures, And I'm strong,,,
strong on crime, no uh,,,
no uh,,,
no more corruption, you know, just getting Rosetti out,
So, pass that on to your dad, all right?
My campaign chairman, Toni Newman,
is very active in the campaign and is doing,,,
Wearing many hats, talking to media outlets
almost every day,
We got the Epson printer basically printing out
whatever we need,,,
and then for the bigger-print stuff,
we're going off, you know, to,,, to Kinko's for that stuff,
This is our campaign headquarters, really,
at this point, until we get bigger offices,
To-do board, my strategy board, I call it, my map,
You know, the hotel treats us right,
We got a fridge pretty much fully stocked,
whatever you need,
Uh, TV, It's basically your classic,,,
bathroom, which is all I need,
That's work, and then we have, sort of,,,
I don't want to say play, but rest
and sort of a home life,
which was one of the great reasons
I picked up on this idea
of relocating to this beautiful hotel,
is that I could,,,
I don't have to commute or anything like that,
I can basically get right to work as soon as I get up,
And then I'm just in the community,
which is great, It's not necessarily
about having,,, I don't need
to have lived here my entire life
to know the problems and to understand
how to fix them, There's crime everywhere,
and the same solution applies to anywhere you live,
So, if I lived here, which I do officially,,,
This is my legal residence,
This is where mail comes to, when I need mail,
It's the same anywhere, And,,,
You know, if I need to do a call in here,
I got a phone in here,
You know, I wish I had the volunteers,
but I also am glad and grateful that there are,,,
that it's me coming to the door,
I'm not a career politician, I'm an outsider,
Are you an attorney,,, You're an attorney now?
I've practiced law, yeah,
- and I've represented myself, - Okay,
I've had tremendous experience in law,
- so there's no worries there, - All right,
'Cause that's what's happening with Rosetti,
is he's hiring all these people, immigrants,
people that probably don't even have identification,
Rosetti is paying them cash to go out there
and basically offer cash
if you vote for Rosetti if I guaran,,,
So, they're buying votes,
My options were, really, meet him again in civil court,,,
to prosecute him for the crime he committed against me,
which is unlawful incrimination,
I'd rather have you guys in the driver's seat
than these rats here, And they're liars,
And I don't know what I did to them,
I don't know what I did to them that they're so upset with me,
man: Tragedy struck today as hundreds
of musical-festival attendees fell ill
in what authorities are calling a suspected drug overdose,
The San Bernardino County Sheriff's Office
has launched an investigation into the event
known as the Electric Sun Desert Music Festival,
founded this year by musician and entrepreneur Tim Heidecker,
The court calls the People of the State of California
versus Timothy Richard Heidecker,
Defendant is charged with counts
one through 20 of second-degree felony murder,
Vincent: He filled the lungs of his innocent victims
with a chemical cocktail, These portable vaporizers,,,
contain a dangerous chemical,,,
known to Mr, Heidecker to cause illness
and be potentially fatal when inhaled,
And Mr, Heidecker, he'll be representing himself
- in this matter, - I'm being unjustly prosecuted
for crimes of which I did not commit,
woman: Your daughter was 17 when she left you,
I would do anything to have her back,
And that man over there is responsible,
He is responsible for me losing her,
No, but he disobeyed me! It's my,,,
I'll fuck you up, Mark! Believe me! I'll fuck you up!
I have never seen such a heinous crime
and such a tragedy, See that justice is done,
Convict this individual,
Madam Foreperson, has the jury reached a verdict?
No, we were not able to reach a unanimous decision,
This is a mistrial, and we are adjourned,
Yes! Yes!
I thank God for the one juror, really,
who is sort of the stopgap here
and created this amazing verdict,
It is my first time being a juror,,,
a lawyer and I've proven myself
to be basically unstoppable at this point,
As far as the DA goes, this Rosetti
has turned out to be a total rat and a bad, bad guy,
And I don't know how you find these people,
if you elect them or not,
but if you have elected them, who knows?
maybe he'll have some competition next time,
Fuck this! I'm done! You hear me!
And I'm coming for you, Rosetti, wherever the fuck you are!
I'm running for District Attorney
of San Bernardino County, Why? Because I'm a fighter,
and I know what that county needs,
I already proved myself
that I am the best lawyer there's ever,,,
I won that case fair and square,
I want to be your DA, and I hope I have your vote,
Edward: I retired about three months ago,
I had a backlog that I really felt
I was obligated to work through
and not pass off onto any of my fellow judges,
But I have been winding down
since not too long after the Heidecker verdict,
I have to say that in all my time on the bench,
I've never had a case like that,
Mr, Heidecker clearly had no respect for decorum,
Objection, Defendant is intimidating this witness,
I am not intimidate,,, I'll intimidate you,
- Believe me, - Edward: Mr, Heidecker!
- I'm,,, - Mr, Heidecker!
I'm warning you that this is my,,,
I move to hold the defendant in contempt,
- Judge, I promise I'm going somewhere with this, - Do you have a question to ask,
as opposed to an accusation to make?
Frankly, he turned it into a circus,
And I think we all bear a responsibility
for allowing that to happen,
What a lot of people don't understand
is that I had to allow some of that to happen,
I had a constitutional duty,,,
to allow Mr, Heidecker to represent himself
and to let him do the best he could,
So, I think a lot of the criticism
that's been leveled against me is simply ignorant,
People don't understand
that that's a very different situation,
From the volume of hate mail I received
from people who were irate about that verdict,
my perception is that,,,
in large sections of San Bernardino County,
Mr, Heidecker is persona non grata,
He is perceived as a charlatan,
He's perceived as a murderer
who got away with it,,,
um,,,
by manipulating the system,
Yes, one juror held out, but as far as the election goes,
I take great comfort from the fact
that 11 out of 12,,,
were convinced beyond a reasonable doubt,,,
that he was guilty of at least second-degree felony murder,
So, if 11 out of 12 eligible voters in San Bernardino County
believe that,,,
he doesn't have a chance,
Josh:
Yes, Mm-hmm, Yes,
Josh:
Well, you know, this is, uh,,,
this is the most serious race I've run in,
You don't want guys that have sort of career politicians,
I think that's my point, is you don't want,,,
you want an outsider to come in and shake things up
because San Bernardino has gotten to be so corrupt,
And the crime has skyrocketed, We have crime stats here,
All these numbers, if you see the,,,
You can almost look from a 30,000-foot view,
you see that it's just up, up, up, and that's all crime,
You know, really a lot of big problems here, which,,,
We want to be realistic,
but I'd say a 100 percent elimination of crime,,,
is our goal, And that's, I think, very doable,
We are off to one of my favorite family restaurants
in the San Bernardino County,
And we're gonna be meeting with my campaign chairman,
Toni Newman, Really a brilliant strategist,
a brilliant political mind who knows the issues
and believes in me as a candidate,
and, frankly, I,,,
you know, sees me going far, far, far beyond
simply, District Attorney,
You know, national office, national positions,
So, we'll,,,
- (watch chimes) - On my way,
On,,,
(watch dings)
On,,,
- (watch dings) - Okay,
We'll be there in five minutes,
- (bell chimes) - How you doing?
- Mel: Good, Hi, How are you? - Tim: Good, How are you?
- I'm Tim Heidecker, - Tim, nice to meet you,
Yeah, Running for District Attorney,
How's it going? Nice to see you,
- woman: Hola, - How you doing?
I'm Tim Heidecker, Nice to meet you,
Running for District Attorney, Y'all registered voters, I hope?
I'm not wasting my time over here?
- man: Absolutely, - Great,
Sorry I'm late,
- Well,,, - This is Toni Newman,
my campaign chairm,,, chairwoman, chairman, whatever,
I come from an advertising background,
outside advertising,
I've got about 17, 20 years in advertising, so,,,
Tim: Which is ultimately,,,
You were telling me this, that a campaign, a candidate,
is essentially a product, is,,,
Why don't you bring me up to speed?
Well, you know, I've just been out canvassing,
I mean, I'm getting signatures at a rate that concerns me
because it's not the rate that is gonna get us
to where we need to be, according to you,
Well, we can't get on the ballot
- if we don't have enough signatures, - I understand,
So we need to find a way to,,,
- We need to figure out something, - Well, let's just
put that aside,
Let's put that on the back burner,
Can we get,,, Yeah, we're very hungry,
I have to try those peanut butter,,,
that peanut butter chocolate banana pie,
You know, just sort of the classic omelet,
- What's the classic omelet? - waitress: Do you want to do the four and 20 omelet?
- Yeah, let's do that, That sounds great, - waitress: Sure,
What kind of wine do you have, a red wine?
waitress: Red? We have a Merlot, We have Cabernet,
- We have Pinot Noir, - Pinot?
- Thank you so much, - waitress: Mm-hmm,
Are you registered to vote in the area?
- waitress: Not in this area, - Tim: Okay,
'Cause I felt like we had a connection from the beginning,
Tim: Oh, yeah,
- And I felt like,,, - Tim: That was there,
,,,we should be a team,
that we could put things back in their proper place,
Tim: Yeah, because you're from this area,
so you know even more than I do,
- Yes, I'm from San Bernardino, - And you were talking to me
about the demographics change,
It's not the same city that I grew up in,
- It's absolutely changed, - Mm-hmm,
- And it's not safe anymore, - No,
And you know exactly what I'm talking about,,,
- don't you? - Yeah, Well, I think we all do,
Oh, thank you,
- Tim: That's a big pour, - Wow,
And you have shown me just unbelievable graphics that
you've pulled off the Internet, unbelievable stats that,
when you look at the Hispanic population,
- Asian population,,, - Toni: I mean, you could look
through the newspaper, and you can,,,
- Tim: You see it, yeah, - ,,,see the crime,
I feel like a minority in my own city,
- to be quite honest with you, - That's kind of interesting,
You can't be safe there anymore,
And Rosetti is behind a lot of this,
It's sort of like this kind of three-stage thing,
It's, "We have a rat problem,"
And I wish you'd give me a pen that works,
Here, let me give you another one, "Get him out,"
- So, once you get into office,,, - Tim: Well, yeah,
but before that,
acknowledge that we have a rat problem,
So, we have a rat problem, That's one,
- Then we set the rat trap, - Set the trap,
Tim: So, that's,,, Yeah, we have a rat problem,
Set the rat trap,
waitress: There we go, Food coming in,
Tim: But I would like more specifics,
In terms of setting the trap,
we need to force him into the corner
to come to the debate, to come to the town hall debate,
Toni: Yeah, but that's gonna be difficult to do,
He's not gonna want to interact with you,
- He's already,,, - Well, of course,
because he knows he would lose the debate,
just like he lost in court,
I love that, sort of, Rocky Balboa,
you know, underdog position to be in,
I don't think there's a better position to be in,
especially when you're fighting up against the powers
that be of Rosetti and the machine,
the San Bernardino machine,
which includes people like Symczyk, who is in that,,,
is part of that, you know,,,
He's the other one, He retired,
He got out 'cause he knew that he ran a kangaroo court,
- Toni: But keep in mind,,, - You did hear that, right?
- He retired, He's done, - Toni: I did hear it, He's done,
- Tim: He's done, He got laughed out, - Toni: He's washed up,
- I know, - Tim: He got laughed out of the courtroom,
I heard about it, We were a team then,
You didn't know it, You didn't know me,
This is sort of the big reveal,
- I was on the jury,,, - Tim: Mm-hmm,
,,,and thanks to me, I got him off,
And I got a phone call kind of out of the blue from Toni,
We met up, and it was a long lunch,
a lot of gratefulness coming from me,
a lot of respect for you and your mind,
I knew that Tim was a guy that was gonna
- help me,,, - Hmm,
,,,accomplish the change
that I know that San Bernardino needs,
And I saw the corruption in Rosetti,
As soon as that man opened his mouth, I could see it,
The campaign sort of began then, didn't it?
- Toni: Kind of, yeah, - I want to know
where the pie is,
Did we forget about the pie?
waitress: Do you want them now or to go?
Well, no, now,
- Toni: He wants it now, - I mean, I could eat it
- with the breakfast, - Okay,
Tim: At some point soon,
we need to kind of address the elephant in the room
and start getting some kind of staff going,
I've got some flags out there and working with people,
- Tim: Yeah, - It's not easy
to get money, though,
- I mean, we're,,, - Toni: I know,
We're less than two weeks out,
Toni: But we don't have the signatures, Tim,
Once we get the signatures,
I think people will be more apt to give money
because they know that you're on the ballot,
Tim: Okay, well, we're talking in circles
because we need money to get the volunteers
so we can get the signatures,
But this is what it is, folks,
I mean, this is the grind of the campaign,
Right now we're operating on a shoestring budget,
Uh, a lot of it's coming out of my personal account,
And Toni's contributed some,
We don't want that corrupt, dark money,,,
because then I become a puppet of those people,
We would love the big bucks through small donations,
is sort of our dream, Or one big donor,
- waitress: There's the pie, - Thank you, And I do apologize,
We're just on a rough schedule today,
Let's get a shot of this,
I mean, this is San Bernardino right here,
- Toni: Is that awesome? - Tim: This is how it goes,
You have to create your own momentum,
You have to create your own media, really,
- Okay, Hi, This is Tim, - Yes, I know,
Toni: Tim Heidecker, I wanted to introduce you,
- Go ahead, Tim, - Hi, everybody,
This is Tim Heidecker,
running for District Attorney for San Bernardino,
I'm sitting here at one of my favorite family restaurants
in San Bernardino County,
about to dig in to their world-famous chocolate pe,,,
chocolate peanut butter apple,,,
or chocolate peanut butter banana pie,
Doesn't that look good? So, let's take a bite,
- Toni: Yum, How is it? - Mm!
- Toni: Is it amazing? - I'm gonna come back for this,
This is a great piece of pie,
- I look forward to meeting with you,,, - Toni: What are you gonna
- do for the community,,, - Don't interrupt the video,
(indistinct chatter)
I look forwarding to,,,
I look forward to taking a bite out of crime
when I become elected District Attorney,,,
and we will see you at the ballot box,
Say no to Rosetti,
We have a rat problem, ladies and gentlemen,
I am here to exterminate it, set the rat trap,
We want him out, We want Rosetti out,
- Tim,,, go to timheidecker,,, - Perfect,
Put that up on Twitter and Facebook
- on the site, - Toni: I will,
How about we open an Instagram account?
Tim: Well, yeah, we should have that already,
Toni: GoFundMe, Instagram, Facebook's up,
- I'll work on the billboards, - Okay, All right,
- Toni: Okay? - I think that's good,
- You got this? - Toni: Yeah?
Get that, and we'll deal with the details later,
I'll see you back at the,,, at the office,
- Bye, Tim, Bye, - Thank you so much,
- Toni: See you a little later, - Tim: Okay, See you later,
And look for me, Tim Heidecker for DA,
Mel? Could be a man or a female, Mel,
- Mel: All right, See you, - All right,
(indistinct chatter)
Gregg:
Josh: And if you can just count to three,
- Three, two, one, action, - Josh: A few more levels here,
If you could just state your name
and what you had for breakfast,
Gregg Turkington from On Cinema at the Cinema
and Decker vs, Dracula and Ant-Man, and I,,,
Actually, this is my breakfast, so,,,
Josh: So, tell me, Gregg, how did you come
to meet Tim Heidecker?
How did you first get involved with him?
Well, first I just wanted to say you're probably wondering
why I chose this park as a place to meet,
And it's actually an interesting story,
This is kind of a historic movie site,
Have you seen the Oh, God! movie
with George Burns and John Denver?
- Josh: - In that spot,
Tracy throws a basket from far away
and makes it perfectly, and that's when Shingo thinks,
"Okay, she must be affiliated with God,"
'cause she couldn't make that shot otherwise,
So, that's where this,,, that's exactly where this was filmed,
Josh: What's your relationship with Tim Heidecker?
Well, it started out just as a guest on the show
On Cinema at the Cinema,
(intro music playing)
Hi, everybody, My name is Tim Heidecker,
And welcome to the first episode of my new show,
On Cinema at the Cinema,
Congratulations on the TV series,
Thanks very much, This is our first episode,
so we're just sort of working out the kinks
and having a lot of fun doing it, as well,
Gregg: But then I was bringing so much expertise
to the show and stuff that,
after the first episode, I think he realized,
"Why bring in different guests each week?
Why not just have a resident expert?"
And so I ended up taking a bigger and bigger and bigger
and bigger and bigger role in that until,
finally, that's why people were tuning in to the show,
was to get that kind of movie expertise,
Hey, everybody, Welcome back to another episode of On Cinema,
I'm your host, Tim Heidecker,
He got in over his head, you know,
with some of his legal troubles and things
and also the fact that he doesn't know anything about movies,
Prepping for the Electric Sun Desert Music Festival
coming up in a couple,,, this coming week, actually,
The good Dr, San and I
have developed this very special blend,
TCH vape system,
We're gonna be giving away as much as we can,
Josh:
- For murder, yeah, - Josh: For murder,
For murder, There were other legal troubles before that,
In fact, one thing that was never filed in court
was that he used my credit card
to fund the second season of Decker,
which was shot in Hawaii,
And he owes me just under 10,000 dollars,
Strangely enough, he doesn't have money
to pay me back, but you see
that he has money for all these other schemes
that he comes up with,
These, like, protein-powder type products
or something that are supposed to eliminate germs,
He's got this awful band called Dekkar,
and they press up thousands of these CDs, and they just,,,
I think they take them all to the dump,,,
I don't know, because nobody wants them,
His ex-wife, Ayaka's family,
they financed this movie theater which he burned down,
I hope he never sees this film because if he sees this hat,,,
he's gonna lose it,
He's gonna get so angry at you guys
'cause he doesn't allow people to wear movie hats,
Mark, who's a good friend of mine,
who's also a movie buff,
lost a lot of oxygen to the brain,
so he was a vegetable,
And we thought he was dead, but he wasn't dead,
He's alive, but he's in a coma,
and it's all because Tim didn't get real scuba equipment,
He thought there were only three Jaws movies,
and I had to let him know there were more,
He's on Twitter saying that there's gonna be
a movie called Whale Man,
And if you were gonna make a movie about a whale,
you would do a Moby Dick movie,
which is already a successful franchise,
And he says no vaccines, Well, then little Tom Cruise Jr, died,
And, you know,
it doesn't faze Tim any, though,
He's right back with his latest scheme,
He's running for District Attorney, which is not,,,
not gonna really happen because he's not a lawyer,
He doesn't live in San Bernardino,
Have you seen a movie from 1976 starring Dean Jones
called The Shaggy DA?
Josh:
You should see this movie, It's a very funny movie,
The character of Dean Jones,,, (clears throat)
,,,is running for DA, okay?
And he has a secret he wants to keep from the voters,
and the secret is, he keeps turning into a dog,
You could almost say Tim's,,,
his whole campaign is an unofficial remake
of The Shaggy DA
because he keeps turning into a dog in front of the voters,
except not a dog, more of, a murderer or an arsonist
or he's unmasked as somebody who doesn't know anything about movies
or he doesn't know anything about the law or what have you,
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie from 1987 with Anthony Newley,,,
- was actually also shot in this park, - (cellphone chimes)
Hold on,
All right, I got to get going, Um,,,
Actually,,,
if you guys want to come along and see something that,,,
in light of what we've been talking about,
I think you'd find very interesting,
My source said it's just past the mailbox,
Okay, Here we go,
See, these are children's films,
so that's not of any use to the archives,
but this is a sealed copy of Breakfast at Tiffany's,
which actually won two Academy Awards,
including Best Picture and Best Actress,
Bringing Down the House with Steve Martin and Queen Latifah,
This is a great popcorn classic, one of the funniest movies ever,
A hundred and five minutes,
This is an audiobook, It does not belong here,
Onto the next location,
This is the kind of thing that Tim,
since that's what your film's about,,,
this is the kind of thing he would never do,
He doesn't really care about movies,
You guys know where to get in touch with me
if you want to discuss any of this further,
or come by and just film at the VFA,
Tim: Call,,,
- Call Gregg Turkington, - (watch dings)
- Come on!
It's Tim Heidecker, I just got word
that a filmmaker that's been following me around, Josh,
Has,,, you contacted him and you've been
speaking with him? Is that right?
Gregg:
Hey, Gregg, stay the fuck out of my movie, okay?
Nobody wants to hear from you,
This is about my political career,
This has nothing to do with you,
It has nothing to do with your fucking movies,
Gregg:
Well, what are you talking to him about?
What the hell does he have to do with you?
Gregg:
Well, stay the fuck away from Josh,
Stay away from his fucking crew, stay away from me,
and you stay,,, get,,,
Gregg:
They are not,,, No, That is not,,,
You're lying to me, That's not what Josh said,
He said that you wanted to talk to him about,,,
- You,,, you,,, - Gregg:
Gregg:
No, Stay out of my life,
- Good luck with the,,, good,,, - Gregg:
All right, Goodbye, You got nothing to say,
You're a loser, Fuck you, Stay out of my life,
(clears throat)
Tim: Oh, yeah, That's great,
Look at this,
I wanted it to say, "Houston, we have a rat problem,"
but we didn't,,, felt that was a little confusing,
It's sort of from that, Ocean's,,,
Ocean's,,, What is it?
Apollo 13, "Houston, we have a problem,"
This is, "Houston, we have a rat problem,"
or just, "We have a rat problem,"
Five thousand of these and then a little more literature here,
"Vincent Rosetti tried",,,
"Vincent Rosetti tried to put an innocent man in prison,
Now he wants to get re-elected?"
And then it's Roset,,, Me, as you can see,
as the exterminator, Rosetti the Rat,
That's him, We're about to bring change,
I've talked to you guys about that,
(grunts) Let's do it,
And my keys are in my room,
Okay, we'll be back soon,
Shit,
All right, let's do the work we need to do,
- Excuse me, Can we put this in your window? - woman: Yeah?
Yeah, go ahead,
Great, Should have brought tape,
Do you have any masking tape
or Scotch tape or anything like that?
- man: Right by the cash register, - Oh, perfect,
That looks pretty good, huh?
Hi, there,
I'm running for District Attorney,
My name is Tim Heidecker, My name is Tim Heidecker,
I'm running for District Attorney,
I'm running for District Attorney
of San Bernardino County,
Would it be okay to put these up in your window,
- just one of them? Thank you, - Sure,
Just wanted to see if you would be okay with me
putting some of my literature in your window?
- Okay, - The message is resonating,
I love the sort of viral, unorthodox message of,
"We have a rat problem," because it gets people talking,
And I think it's,,, it's a powerful message,
Once you get down to what the message is,
you feel the trickle of the message
spreading across this county,
and that's what's gonna get us the big win,
- woman: No sign now, - Tim: I understand,
- I apologize, - woman: Right, Thank you,
Tim: (sighs) Well, that's a new one,
If there was a real rat problem in that restaurant,
then it would be appropriate,
And if there isn't a rat problem,
then they don't have anything to worry about,
There we go,
Oh, great,
Shit,
Tim: So, what are we doing with the,,,
I mean, are we,,, Do we have anybody coming down?
- I'm working on it, Actually,,, - Tim: Okay,
You said you were working on it,
I'm working on it, CNN,,, We've got CNN,
- Tim: You have CNN? - I have them on the line,
- Tim: You have them on the line? - It looks good, It looks good,
Good, What's happening with the GoPro account?
What's GoPro? Oh, you mean GoFundMe,
- Tim: Mm-hmm, - It's GoFundMe,
I got it set up,
We have a few dollars, People donated already,
Tim: Was it linked to the website?
No, it's not linked,
I don't think we're able to do that,
The donations are based,,, Most of the time, GoFundMe
is set up for people who are, like, sick or poor or starving,
- (telephone ringing) - Hold on a sec,
Toni: I really shouldn't technically
- be doing this, but,,, - All right, hold on, Hello?
Yes, Hi,
Oh, good, Great, Thanks,
- Okay, I'll be right down, - Toni: Wait, wait, wait,
- Who was that? - It's the front desk,
The hats arrived, so,,,
- The hats? Oh, careful, - (clattering)
Toni: I think it's going pretty well,
I've got GoFundMe,
I'm also,,, I just set up a profile for him on IMDb,
Do you know what IMDb is? It's an actors' website,
Have a gorgeous picture, a couple of videos of him,
It looks like ABC is interested in picking up our story,
So I'm gonna keep on top of that,
I had a connection there,
so I did speak with that connection,
and he referred me to somebody else,
We're going door to door, I mean, we're doing everything
- physically possible, - (knocking)
Oh,
- Is that Tim? Yeah, - Tim: Toni?
- Hey, I don't have my key, - Toni: Okay, I'm coming,
Give me a sec,
That was fast, Wow,
- Hi, Yeah, This is it, - Hi,
How are there 500 hats in here?
Toni: It looks like there might be five hats in there,
- Toni: Who ordered the hats? - Tim: You ordered the hats,
I don't remember ordering five hats,
(clears throat) Yep, There's one, two, three hats,
There's not even,,,
- There's three hats, - I'll have to call them,
Let me put it on my list, Hold on,
'Cause I think we paid for those, yeah?
I'll make a call, I'll send an email,
and then I'll follow up with a phone call,
Very nice, (clears throat)
Tim: Here,
Toni: Yeah, it's really nice, Tim,
Mm-hmm, Put it on,
Oh,
(sighs)
Yeah, it's nice, Yeah, I like it,
- Really nice, - Tim: Figure out this,,,
- Toni: Yeah, I'll take care of it right now, - There's no point
in five,,, three fucking hats,
Don't worry about it, I'll fix it,
- (clattering) - I just,,,
(clattering)
Point of three hats are, one for me, you,
and the volunteer we don't have,
Toni: Tim, there's wine in the other room,
- Why don't you have a glass? - Tim: I might have a glass,
Toni: It might calm you down a little bit,
(door closes)
(watch chimes)
All right, let's pound some pavement,
- Tim: Hello, - man: How you doing?
Tim: Good, How are you guys?
¶ (rap music playing) ¶
So, you getting a haircut?
Cool,
Are you a registered voter here in San Bernardino?
- Yeah, - Cool,
I want to eliminate crime from the entire region,,,
and basically have a zero-tolerance policy
for anybody that breaks the law, I mean, it's not that,,,
I don't want to disrupt your, uh,
- concentration there, - No, you're fine, you're fine,
I'd probably not be so kind on people,,,
no offense to you guys,
but listening to that kind of music,
I'd put a clamp down on that kind of stuff,,,
just 'cause it's so,,, you know, encourages violence,
You know, sort of taking San Bernardino
back to the good old days,
Okay, I hear that, Curtain down on E Street?
That's right,
man:
Well,,, (laughs)
,,,I know what you mean by that,
But it's complicated,
Things are changing,
All right?
- (bell chimes) - Tim: Hello,
Running for District Attorney,
Sorry, I do not mean to solicit,
I'm just,,, free speech, First Amendment, ability to,,,
woman:
- I'm sorry? - woman:
I do have permission, I have,,,
From the county, I have permission,
I have permission from the First Amendment,
Look it up, It's the Constitution,
I have a First Amendment right in the Constitution,
I'm not filming you, Get over yourself,
woman:
You'll vote for me!
Kind of the full screen,
Toni: It is,,, Oh, So, I hit full screen and,,,
- Tim: Then play, - Toni: ,,,then "play,"
Okay, Got it, Okay,
Okay,
Tim: No,
- Toni: What? - (Tim sighs)
Press play,
- Press pl,,, - There we go, I got it,
man: For District Attorney Vincent Rosetti,
protecting our community isn't just a job,
- It's a calling, - (Tim scoffs)
man: A career prosecutor with over 23 years
of experience,
he's held thousands of criminals accountable,
and his conviction rate in child-abuse cases
is 97 percent,
- Tim: It's not 100 percent, - man: As for Carlos Sandoval's record,,,
- Toni: Mm-mm, - ,,,well,
there isn't much to show,
He's spent most of his career in private practice,
fighting for big corporations,
Vincent Rosetti, tough on crime,
with a record that speaks for itself,
I am District Attorney Vincent Rosetti,,,
"I am District Attorney Vincent Rosetti,"
- That sucks, - What the hell?
I don't know, Is it a good thing or not?
- I don't know, - I,,, I don't,,,
We don't want negative press,
but, you know, you want an acknowledgement that there's,
that we're in the arena together,
But any press is good press, You know what I'm saying?
There's no press for us,
We should put out a statement about that at least,
Yeah, I'm gonna,,, As soon as I get,,,
Put out a press release from me, basically,,,
- (exhales) - Get this,,, get this down,
You want the computer off?
No, I'm saying put the,,, write this down,
All right, well, do you have some suggestions?
- What are you,,, - I'm telling you
- I want to send a press release out, so,,, - Okay,
All right, Will do,
Tim: All right, ready?
Get a Word document open or something,
Do you not have Word?
Toni: I don't know where it is on this,
Let me see, Hold on,
That's to open the files,
(computer dings)
You should have sent this to me on my computer,
- Write it on your notepad or,,, - Oh, here, we got it,
Okay, Documents, Geez!
- Here, - I'm losing my train
of thought here, Just make a note,
"To whom it may concern,,,
I have recently viewed the Vincent Rosetti attack ad,"
- "Rebuttal," - No, I,,,
I got it, "Vincent Rosetti,"
"I have recently viewed the Vincent Rosetti attack ad,,,
which was more full of lies than,,,
whatever, a,,,
Yeah, but it wasn't an attack against you,
- You weren't even in there, - No, I know, but it was an offic,,,
It was an,,, It was an attack against Sandoval,
How about this? "The recent Rosetti,,,"
Write that down, "The recent Rosetti,"
What are you doing?
You know what I think we should do, honestly?
I think that we should leave Sandoval out of it completely,
- That's what I'm trying to do, - Yeah, And just go after,,,
- Listen, just write what I'm,,, - Go ahead, I'm listening,
"The recent Rosetti ad that I saw on YouTube is so,,,
is dishonest, even for him,"
(burps)
"Now that the race is tightening",,,
"Now that the race is tightening,,,
we see the rat beginning to scow,,, beginning to cower,"
Mm-hmm,
Anything else?
No, I mean, all the,,,
"Visit the website" and all that crap,
- But we need to get our own ad, - Yeah, We will,
And we need to get a film crew down here,
I mean, these guys could do it, but they say
they're not gonna do it, I've asked them 20 times,
Why can't they do it?
- They've got cameras, - They say it's impartial journalism or some shit,
I mean, he's scared, right?
That's what I,,, That's what it's about,
He's scared,
He doesn't want to mention me in the ad because he's so,,,
Toni: Oh!
So nervous about the mere mention of my name than,,,
He's so,,,
Here, let me get a napkin for you,
- Where are the napkins here? - Tim: "He's so scared,"
- Viral campaign that's,,, - Toni: Here you go,
- There you go, - Tim: Thank you,
- You're welcome, - Tim: That's gotten,,,
Oh, it's on the floor,
Toni: I'm listening to you, Go ahead,
Tim: I'm saying, so, there is,,,
If he brings my name, people go,
"Oh, that's the guy with the 'rat problem' sign,"
We can ignore the ad,
We don't have to directly talk
- about the ad, - The ad is crap,
The ad is terrible anyway, so it doesn't matter,
Let's just not focus on that,
- Let's just focus on us, - I'm not worried about it,
- I'm not worried about it, actually, - Toni: Are you sure?
Because it seems to bother you a lot,
Absolutely not,
Should we report that, though, because,,,
- report that to YouTube, - Toni: I don't think you can,
I think he paid for it legally,
- I understand, but there's factual in,,, - Toni: You can't report it,
inaccuracies in there,
It is what it is, It's out there,
- We, you know,,, - Toni: Yeah,
Our preference would be that,,,
I think our preference is that we're mentioned in there
because that at least provides a little contrast,
Toni: That we are? We're not mentioned,
- It's good, - I know, but I'm saying
we should,,, it would be better, but it's not there,
That's the reality,
Um, you know, we have to just look at tomorrow as a new day
and do,,, you know, get our to-do list going again
and,,, (burps)
,,,you know,,,
- Okay, - Okay,
(Toni sighs)
- (computer dings) - (Toni clears throat)
- (computer dings) - (Toni sighs)
- (keyboard clacking) - (computer dings)
Toni: That's it, Okay,
- (keyboard clacking) - (computer dings)
- Toni: Yeah, Yeah, - (dialer tone ringing)
(engaged dial tone)
Hey, San Bernardino voters,
it's Tim Heidecker, running for District Attorney,
Here's my new lawn sign,
I hope I get your vote so we can stop Rosetti,
So we can stop Rosetti,
Vote for Tim Heidecker,
Join timheideckerforda,com and,,,
and stop Rosetti,
Tim: Let me get to what I want to talk to you,,,
- Toni: Okay, Mm-hmm, - ,,,specifically is,
You know, I'm looking at the calendar,
and I know where we're at,
You know, this is where I'm at
with the petition for the ballot,
And it's not,,, I know it's not what you want to see,
- Um,,, - Toni: Oh, my God, Tim,
Yeah, I mean, well, we have,,, add 30 from the website,
from the petition we put up on the Internet, but, um,,,
Tim, this is not gonna cut it,
This is not gonna get us on the ballot,
- You realize that, - Tim: I understand, I know,
We're hundreds away, hundreds of signatures away,
- Hundreds and hundreds away, - Tim: I know,
Toni: I think we need to sit and strategize
about this right now,
- Okay, - Do you think it'd be possible
that we could have a little privacy, um,
just a little alone time so that Tim and I can just,,,
Tim: Josh, I think probably a good idea
to maybe take a five-minute break,
Toni: If you don't mind, just so we can have
- a few moments to kind of reset, - Yeah, We're getting into some
sensitive territory here,
- Josh: Sure, Yeah, you guys,,, - Toni: Yeah,
Tim: She's been,,, Yeah, she's a little uncomfortable
about being on camera,
- Toni: Yeah, - Tim: You know?
- Tim: Thanks, Thanks, guys, - Toni: We really appreciate it,
Tim: And we have a,,, You know, if you want
to get something down at the snack bar or anything,
you can just put it on the room, all right?
- (door closes) - They're gonna check the address,
They're not gonna check the address,
That was my point, that this is all just a formality,
- So let's just get into it, - All right,
John, uh,,, It doesn't matter, John,,,
- Trevor, - ,,,Grover,
Trevor Smith,
- Peter,,, - That's really close,
so you're gonna need to mix it up a little bit,
Yeah, I'll change,,, Why don't we change pens,,,
- Yeah, that's a good idea, - ,,,kind of randomly?
Toni: So, look, You see how I varied everything?
Tim: Mm-hmm,
- So you got a Trevor Smith, - Tim: Put this,,,
Yeah, but why don't I do,,, I'll do some on here,
- Toni: All right, - Tim: And, um,,,
Amy,,, Masters,
- (Toni laughs) There you go, - (Tim laughs)
Tim: You do one, and then I'll do one,
- Perfect, - Jason,,, Davidson,
How about Johnny Mathis?
- (Toni laughs) - Johnny Mathis, Tom Cruise,
- I'll make it Tom Cruise Jr, - Oh, I'd like
to make it Tom Cruise,
What's the camera guy's name?
- Vincent Price, huh? - (laughs) No, don't do that,
No? Why not? Who cares?
I mean, it's all guys,
- That's my problem, - Do you have any siblings?
Uh, no, I did, but she's passed away,
- She passed away a couple years ago, - I'll put my
sister's name down,
Joe Estevez, He would have signed it, He's a friend,
All right, good, And now that's one, two,,,
that's 20,
Oh, my God, this is gonna take us all night,
- All right, - Oh, my God,
- (Tim burps) - You better grab another beer,
Another bottle of wine for me, too,
Where's the wine?
Here you go, baby, It's all good,
Awesome,
¶ (music playing) ¶
Come on, Come on,
Got to get that adrenaline going,
Oh, it's,,,
¶ ("Empty Bottle" by Dekkar Plays) ¶
¶ This is a job on fire ¶
- Tim: Come on! - ¶ Gonna come down to ¶
I don't know how I'm gonna not physically
uh, assault this motherfucker when I see him,
I have to hold back,
I mean, I'm getting my adrenaline up,
but, you know, I'm,,, Listen, I'm gonna go to him
straight up to his face and say,
"Motherfucker, you are meeting me in the arena,"
I don't know, I don't know how to predict it,
I think he might take the bait,
I think he might step right into my trap and actually show up,,,
We hope he does, 'cause I think we should hear from him,
He has to answer for his crimes,
¶ I'm like an empty bottle Drained of everything ¶
- ¶ Left in my mind ¶ - Come on! This is the remix,,,
This is DKR doing the remix of Empty Bottle right here,
And this one blew up the charts on the EDM charts, as well,
¶ Checking out life On the dark side ¶
¶ Riding down the road Till the end of time ¶
- Huh! Huh! - ¶ I'm like an empty bottle ¶
¶ I'm like an empty bottle Empty bottle, empty bottle ¶
Oh, That's too much of that, (coughs)
I got to stop for a second, I can't see anything,
I'm just spinning,
¶ I'm like an empty bottle ¶
Ah!
(chuckles) Ah!
It's up in my spine,
Come on, I'm gonna fucking punch him,
Just gonna wait for that rat to come out for his lunch,
for his cheese,
¶ I'm like an empty bottle ¶
We are live, broadcasting out to you guys,
We are out in front of the District Attorney's office,
waiting for Rosetti the Rat to emerge,
I'm gonna confront him mano-a-mano
and invite him into the arena
so we can get this debate going tomorrow night,
And he should be out here for his lunch break,
It's been,,, He should have been out here ten minutes ago,
All right, we are,,, It's been 20 minutes, and uh,,,
There he is, All right, here we go, We're going live,
Hey, Vincent! Rosetti!
How you doing? It's Tim Heidecker,
How come you haven't called back?
We've left you messages,
We're challenging you to a debate tomorrow night
at the Lincoln Suites downtown,
You should join us,
I'd love to talk to you about the issues,
You have anything to say?
You can't be serious, Heidecker,
No, I am serious,
Why don't you want to debate me, rat?
- You're a clown, Heidecker, - You're a clown,
Oh, I'd rather be a clown than a rat,
- I don't have time for this, - Tim: You don't have time,
- This conversation is over, - Tim: Okay,
- Thank you, - Get out of my way, please,
How come you couldn't beat me in court?
What kind of DA is that?
- First time in a courtroom me, first time,,, Oh! - (car horn honking)
Folks, Vincent Rosetti,
District Attorney of San Bernardino,
is trying to kill me,
It's attempted murder happening right here
in front of the DA's office, with his Honda piece of shit,,,
Hey! Are you,,, Fuck you!
Yeah, Oh, I got that on tape, scumbag,
I got your license plate, 7-B-N-V-6-0-0,
That is,,, Vincent Rosetti just tried to kill me on camera,
We have it on camera, He refuses to debate me,
Woo! That was awesome, You guys get that?
I think Tim's running for DA because he's just angry
because Rosetti did a really good job,
The case didn't go the way Rosetti wanted,
but to the people that watched it,
Tim was very, very guilty and looked like a real fool,
He just always wants to get revenge against anybody,
Like, for instance, I got free tickets
to the Sully premiere,,, not even the premiere,
but the pre-premiere, like the critics screenings,
He was jealous 'cause he was probably passed out
somewhere in his vape den,
And then I'm telling everyone, "Oh, Sully is great,
This is the film of the year, This is gonna win Oscars,"
And he's like, "What's Sully?"
I think if you point it back at him
with a lot of these things,
turn it around and point it at him,
and you'll find out the truth,
I saw it in the first group of 300 people
ever to see Sully,
Tim: We're in a town hall debate tomorrow
for District Attorney, if you're interested,
- woman: Sure, - Thanks, I forgot to put the,,,
(chuckles) ,,,forgot to put the time and date on it,
- So, it's tomorrow, - woman: Tomorrow,
Yep,
Toni forgot to put the date and time
on the town hall debate happening tomorrow,
But it's no problem, I'm just,,,
I'm just kind of putting a little personal touch on it,
Me, Rosetti, and Sandoval
are gonna be talking about the issues tomorrow,
And I'm looking forward to it,
I don't think in a million years I would have thought
I would be standing in front of San Bernardino City Hall
knowing that I was only a few steps away from becoming
not only District Attorney, but hopefully even higher
in the chain of command within San Bernardino,
So, you know, it's starting to feel real,
I'm not nervous, I just feel a sense
of obligation to the community
that I'm doing this for the right reasons,
There's Dr, Martin Luther King Jr,,,
poster,,, a statue of him, one of the founding fathers,
Uh, you know, just one of the people I look up to
and I'm always quoting and using his message
to get me through, you know, what I'm going through,
One of the great citizens of San Bernardino and,,,
was one of the greats, Unfortunately, he passed,
But we are always remembering his words and deeds,
So, I'm gonna go pay homage to him privately,
- (siren wailing) - (firetruck horn honking)
Tim: I can feel the energy coming off something like that,
such, uh, a great icon
of the San Bernardino Valley and the county,
You know, as I come to work each day,
obviously I'll be at the District Attorney's office,
but I'm sure I'll be scrambling to and fro,
visiting City Hall, chiming in on new laws,
I'm sure I will stop each time
and pay my respects to this beautiful fountain,
this rushing water, reminiscent of the Rio Grande
or the great Mississippi
or any of the rivers of our great country,
and pausing to reflect on the message
of Dr, Martin Luther King,
It's fitting that San Bernardino has such a monument here,
and I'm glad we got to spend some time enjoying it together,
Josh, if you want to get your picture taken with it,
Gregg: Hey, guys,
Josh, What are you guys shooting?
Josh: Uh, just some B-roll,
A lot of cool movies shot in San Bernardino,
You know Congo?
You'll never guess where that was shot,
They actually shot the airport scenes right here
at the San Bernardino Airport,,,
- Josh: I didn't know that, - ,,,not in the Congo,
Kind of cool,
Independence Day, too, they shot in Fontana,
Josh: Sorry I didn't, uh,,, I got your messages,
Yeah, Um, I wanted to talk to you
about this Shaggy DA thing, and then, also,
I had this idea,,,
and if you guys are into it, we go to a Baskin-Robbins
and shoot me coming out of the Baskin-Robbins,,,
- Josh: Oh, - ,,,sort of like
as the character from Ant-Man,,,
- Josh: Mm-hmm, - ,,,just coming out
of the thing, And then I can talk to you guys or whatever,
be in character,
Josh: Yeah, I don't know if we can do that today,
- Maybe, um,,, - There's a Baskin-Robbins,
I checked, It's about a mile from here, on 5th,
Josh: We got a lot of stuff we got to cover today,
We're meeting back up with Tim in a little bit,
Well, you've got enough of him, I'm sure,
We've actually got to get going now,
We have a couple other spots we have to hit up,
- But it was nice running into you, - Okay, well, I'll come along,
Josh: That's okay,
- Manuel: How are you, man? - Tim: Hey, man,
I'm fucking tired,
- What time is it there, man? - Manuel: How are you, man?
So good to hear from you,
Yeah, Good to hear from you, man, It's,,,
- What? - Manuel: It's 4:20
in the morning, 4:20 in the morning,
You're probably up partying,
You know, Manuel has,,,
Because of what happened with him at the trial,
he's essentially back in Italy,
"I, Dr, San, am only one responsible for all the death
from the Electric Sun 20,
It is all my fault,"
You took an oath, and you swore before God
- that you would tell the truth, - Come on,
I'm gonna ask you now one more time,
Who wrote the letter?
- Tim gave it to me this morning, - Vincent: Okay,
He talks like they're his friends
and says they're his rock and all this stuff,
but those guys, believe me, the minute he doesn't pay them,
you don't see them around,
They're gone for long periods of time,
And then he gets a little bit of money through some scam,
and then suddenly, there's Axiom, Manuel,
and they're doing recordings again,
You are so worried about this perjury shit
from the trial, that,,,
it is not something that they're gonna follow up on
because when you get back here,
I'm gonna be in charge of that shit,
You know what I mean?
Manuel:
And Axiom's not calling me back, and he's being, you know,,,
like suddenly creating a wall that I don't understand,
Hold on, Manuel,
- Toni! - Toni: Yeah?
Can you get another one of these, please?
- Toni: Uh, sure, - Thanks,
I'm sorry, I'm doing this campaign,
and we're, like, trying to get this town hall thing going,
It's like,,, It's not as easy
as just going down and playing a show,
- And I'm doing this,,, - Manuel:
I'm doing this with this woman who's,,,
- What is it? - We need to talk,
- Okay, - So?
- Right now? - Yeah,
- Okay, Hold on, - Come on out,
- Get off the phone and come out and talk, - I can't get out, Hold on,
Manuel, baby, I got to call you back, man,
Keep rocking, and I love you, and we'll talk soon,
- Manuel: - Cheers,
Ciao,
- What's up? - Well,,,
- I sort of have some bad news, - Okay,
I had all of these guys in the loop,
and they've all pretty much just dropped out,
Tim: Mm-hmm,
I mean, everything was in a pending mode,
I can't even get The Sun to come,
- What do you mean? - I can't even get
- the San Bernardino Sun, - They're not com,,,
- They're not,,, - They're not coming, Tim,
- They said they're not coming? - They said they're not coming,
Why wouldn't they come? It's a,,,
- it's an official campaign, - I know, I unders,,,
You're telling me they're not,,,
they've confirmed to you that they're not coming?
They've confirmed that they're not coming,
- Ugh! - They actually sent me
an email and it wasn't a very nice one,
Hmm,
We're gonna do the best we can,
And what about Rosetti and Sandoval?
I haven't heard from either of them,
- They won't confirm, - All right, well,
I mean, so, what are we doing tomorrow?
Tim: Toni put the big ad for the town hall
in the, uh, paper this morning,
(coins clinking)
Last one,
(horn honks)
It's not supposed to be in Sports, Let me just,,,
Call Toni Newman,
Hey, Siri, Toni, I'll bring it back to the room,
but I'm telling you, there's no ad
for the town hall debate,
The "We have a rat problem" ad isn't in there, either, so,,,
Well, that's a lot of money,
It doesn't do us any good to put it in tomorrow,
You know what I mean? I'm not saying it's your fault,
I'm saying that it's not in the paper,
That's the news,
So, I'll be back in a few minutes,
All right, yeah, Take care,
All right, Love you, too,
She said she put that ad in like a week ago
and that they needed more,,,
that she thinks they might have needed more time,
but that sounds like bullshit,
I'm not worried about it because print media's dead
and there's not a lot of people picking that up,
You saw the disarray that the news stand was in,
Anyways, I don't,,, That's,,,
We don't need to use that stuff 'cause I,,,
I don't want to get her in trouble,
I don't want to,,, It's nobody's fault,
It's just,,, There's a lot to do,
(clears throat) There's a lot to do,
How's that look?
Doing a little debate prep, a little issue research,
You know, that's pretty much my day, has been prepping
so I'm as educated as I can be on the issues of San Bernardino
and also getting to a place
where we have a real competitive chance to win,
- Tim, where do you want to sit? - Right in the middle,
Right in the center? Okay, I'll put you,,,
I'm gonna put you here,
Why don't we put a couple on the table?
- What do you think? - Tim: Oh, on his seat,
- Yeah, Or in front of him, - (laughs) Yeah,
Let's do it,
We have a rat problem,
- Tim: Yeah, - (Toni laughs)
I'm getting to the place where I'm kind of off-book
with this memorizing all this stuff,
And I got a hundred more of these books
waiting for me to put up here,
It's going very well,
The energy he had in that parking lot
and the confrontation was he wanted
to have nothing to do with us,
Well, if he doesn't show, that makes him look bad,
I think the plan should be, at 7:15, if there's no,,,
if Rosetti doesn't show and if Carlos doesn't show,
it becomes the town hall,
- Becomes about you, - It becomes about me,
That's it, That's what we want anyway,
- All right, cool, All right, - Awesome,
I'm gonna clean up, and I'm gonna head up
- to the room, - Toni: All right,
- Tim: You want to come? - You know what?
Let me just tidy up a little bit,
- I'll meet you up there in a second, okay? - Tim: Okay, All right,
(whispers) Thank you, ladies and gentlemen,
It's been an honor to be here with you guys tonight,
I want to talk to you about why I'm running
for District Attorney of San Bernardino,
I'm gonna talk to you about why,,,
I want to talk to you about why I'm running for San Bern,,,
District Attorney of San Bernardino,
You know, I'm an outsider,
(clearing throat) My name is Tim Heidecker,
I'm running for District Attorney of San Bernardino,
It's good to meet you guys,
Sold-out crowd, Unbelievable,
We know firsthand,,, we know firsthand
that our community is suffering from high rates of crime,
and my idea, my campaign pledge is to,,,
is to remove crime, eliminate crime,
Well, I'm looking at the world now,
and it's going insane,
Toni: Well, I'll do a brief introduction
so that it looks really nice before you come in,
What you got? I got some strays,
- I've been working on that all morning, - (laughs) I know,
- let me fix it, - Are we just saying goodbye to the debate idea?
- 'Cause they're,,, I mean,,, - Toni: Well, let's give them
a little bit more time,
I mean, they might still show up,
So, I mean, we're still just a few minutes over, so,,,
I mean, we,,, Okay, well, it's almost,,,
- It's 7:12 now, - Yeah, I,,,
When are we pulling the trigger on it?
Yeah, I don't have any messages from them,
How about you? Do you have any messages?
No, my iWatch has been quiet,
I think we hit Rosetti right away,,,
or not,,, or either we're gonna save that
- as the closing,,, - Toni: Why don't we do this?
Why don't we go with the positive first?
Let's make you look good, make you look amazing,
- Let's sell your points, - I have one for one,
I don't want to say "One for one,"
I want to say "Perfect record,"
Well, let's just,,,
- your accomplishments,,, - Mm-hmm,
- ,,,your goals, - Small business,
You look really nice, Tim,
- Thank you, - And you're gonna wow them,
Just get your mouth wet,
What do you have? Is it Orbits?
(Toni laughs) It's your favorite, Of course,
- Great, - Toni: How'd you know?
- Well, I know you carry Orbits, - There you go,
Good luck, We'll see you in there, okay?
- Okay, See you, - Toni: See you in a minute,
- Yeah, We'll talk soon, - Toni: Okay,
Hey, This is the movie I was telling you about,
The Shaggy DA with Dean Jones from 1976,
It's got total parallels
to what Tim's campaign is doing right now,
Like, if you watch it, it almost feels like this campaign
is a remake of this movie,
Um, and it's out of print on VHS, so I went ahead
and dubbed a copy and then glued this thing over it
because you won't really get this anywhere,
It's not on eBay or anywhere,
So, take a look and see what you think,
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,
Thank you all for coming,
Josh:
- What are you talking about? - Josh: Gregg,
Here's here at the town hall,
(crowd applauding)
- He's in the room right here? - Josh: Yeah,
- Fuck, - ¶ Well I'm looking At the world now ¶
¶ And it's going insane ¶
¶ Thinking 'bout checking out Can't do it again ¶
Tim: All right, Hey, everybody!
¶ But I know just who I am How strong I can be ¶
- Get it together, - ¶ And I know ¶
¶ I'm the only one ¶
¶ Who can help us Be free yeah ¶
¶ Ah-na-na-na-na-na-na ¶
¶ This country's yours And mine ¶
Thanks, guys, for coming out, This is gonna be a good time,
(clears throat) Thank you, ladies and gentlemen,
for being here, This is, uh,,,
Well, we're gonna do things a little differently,
I see you, by the way,
I see that you've decided to show up,
and it's not,,, you're not gonna ruin my night,
Gregg:
Well, save your questions for the Q&A portion,
Um, I played this song here that I wrote a few years ago,
How many people feel that way lately,
it feels like the values, the thing,,,
"The way things used to be ain't that way no more"
is another expression,
And, uh, for some, for people like you, it's,,,
it's a good opportunity,,, (clears throat)
,,,but for the original San Bernardino people,,,
of the '50s and '60s,
life has not,,, is getting a little weird, isn't it?
Anyways, what else did I want to say about that?
Demographics,
Um, imagine if you had a candidate who stripped,,,
who promised on the day one that we would be eliminating crime,
How many people would vote for that candidate?
And we're talking 100 percent elimination of crime,
That's what my candidacy will deliver as DA,
My name is Tim Heidecker,
I'm a businessman, a legal expert, an entrepreneur,
I've got several years of experience in this area,
And I'm a proven leader,
I ran a small business here in the county,
in Victorville, the,,,
the Victorville Film Archive Film Center,
- You didn't run it, - Tim: Excuse me?
- You didn't run it, - Tim: I did run it, actually,
- No, I ran it, - Actually,
this is not a Q&A period of the show, sir,
so if you wouldn't mind taking your hat off,
That's strike two,
And I won't be taking questions from you, either,
I apologize, He's an instigator,
And how many people have had trouble with Roset,,,
with Victor Ros,,, I'm sorry,
That should be "Vincent Rosetti,"
Toni,
But the question is, where is Rosetti? Where is he?
Where is,,, What,,, He's hiding in some rat hole,
He does not want to come and face me in the arena,
Okay?
We have a rat problem,
- (cell phone dings) - We got to ch,,, set the rat trap!
And I'm the exterminator, You know?
So, we're trying to get that going,
We have a rat problem,
And that would be great if everybody
was joining in on that,
We have a rat problem,
- woman: We have a rat problem, - We have a rat problem,
And it's Rosetti the Rat, He's corrupt,
And I actually have some experience,
interestingly enough, of dealing with corruption,
I wrote and produced and directed and starred in
the great Decker TV show, currently on hiatus,
And had an interesting character that some of you guys
probably remember, President Jason Davidson,
one of the most corrupt politicians in history,
if you could believe that, Production always said
how well Decker actually dealt
with the whole corruption concept,
So I'm way ahead of that,
and we're having a good time figuring out, So, uh,,,
you put your hat back on,
Can you take your hat off if you're gonna be inside?
Thank you, Medicaid fraud,,, we have that in the news lately,
I don't know if you've seen this Medicaid fraud,
We have people taking advantage of the system,
There's people out there who are basically vegetables,
who are brain-dead and who have not,,,
can't feed themselves,
And then you have people who are taking advantage of those people
and taking a paycheck from that experience,
And that's something I'm gonna be fighting for,
so watch,,,
- watch out for that, - Gregg: You're the one that put them
- in that position in the first place,,, - Tim: Excuse me?
,,,by depriving oxygen with a scuba tank
- that didn't work, - Tim: Now, we're not getting
into the details of that case, That's a very sensitive case,
And, anyways, we are, uh, gonna open it up to the floor,
if anybody has any questions, It is a town hall event,
- Gregg: I have a question, Why did you,,, - Tim: No, I'm sorry,
We're not taking questions from you,
If you're wearing a hat,
you will not be allowed to ask a question,
- Why did you say that,,, - Tim: Ma'am,,, Shut up,
Now ask your question, You may ask a question,
- Indidi: Hello, Good evening, - Good evening to you,
- So, you mentioned,,, - What's your name, by the way?
- I didn't get,,, - My name is Indidi,
- Indidi, Indeedy, we sh,,, - Yes,
Uh, Indidi, indeedy, it's nice to see you,
- Nice to see you, too, Yes, - Indidi,
So, you mentioned how it's your pledge
to erase crime in the community,
How would you make sure that defendants
still get a fair trial while accomplishing your goal
of eliminating crime in our communities?
Terrific question, Thank you for asking that question,
It's really nice to get that kind of brain here,
that kind of thinking, which you,,,
you excel in, frankly,
Um,,,
you know, a little personal,
but I was wrongly accused of a crime myself,
So, that's one of the reasons I'm running, actually,
Indidi, indeedy, is why I'm running,
Um, yes, indeedy, that is why I'm running,
Uh, represented myself in court,,,
and successfully, I might add, where I was convict,,,
I was not convicted,
I was accused of something, but I did,,,
- Mass murder, - Excuse me?
Mass murder, killing 19 people,
It doesn't matter what I was accused of,
What matters is the truth,
The truth is, the court of San Bernardino
found me not guilty,
despite the worst best efforts of Rosetti and his squad of rats
and pigs,
So, my point is, to get to your question,
I will be fighting for the innocent,
Now, if you commit a crime on my watch,,,
you're going to jail forever, right?
No more three strikes, you're out, You're done,
That's the community we want to create,
But if you're innocent, let's let,,,
let's let you be innocent,
Let's not put the courts,,, Let's not put you under the,,,
the heel of just,,, of corrupt justice,
- Tim: Anybody else? - Why did you say that you,,,
- I didn't call on you, - I just want to know
why you said that you were a small business owner
and ran the VFA when you didn't run the VFA,
- You burned the VFA down, - I did not burn,,,
See, that's false accusations,
This is what got me into trouble in the first place,
- Two times you burned down the film archive, - No, that's not true,
That's off-limits, as a subject goes, today,
Gregg: Well, if you're running for a District Attorney job,
people should know that you're an arsonist,
I'm not an,,, How dare you, calling me an arsonist?
That's illegal, what you're doing,
- You're,,, - You had ownership
in the film theater, the Victorville Film Center,
but that's different than the archive,
- which I ran, - Tim: That's not,,,
- I ran the archive, - That is irrelevant
- to this situation, - Gregg: I ran both of them,
- Excuse me, - Gregg: I ran both the film center
and the film archive,
but you burned down the film archive,
You didn't run that,
So don't tell these people you have a small business
in Victorville because you never did,
That business didn't,,, wouldn't exist without me,,,
- Gregg: You can't even name,,, - ,,,actually,
,,,three movies that came out in the 1980s,
I'm not running for mayor of Movie Town,
I'm running for District Attorney,
You're delusional, This guy, by the way,
is, like, obsessed with collecting old videotapes,
Nobody even watches videotapes anymore,
Gregg: Yeah, they do, A lot of people have both,
Do you have a DVD player or a di,,,
- what is it? The VHS player? - DVD,
What do you got, DVD? You guys a couple?
You didn't run the film archive, is my point,
'cause you don't know anything about movies,
so you couldn't have run a film archive,
What do you,,, what do you care? Why are you here?
- You're here to ruin me, - Gregg: I'm here
because I needed to give something to
- your cameraman,,, - Shame on you, This guy is a pig,
He's coming,,, He's driven in here from Hollywood,,,
- He's driven in here from Hollywood,,, - Gregg: So did you,
- to disrupt the process, - You don't live here,
Tim: Huh? I do live here, I live right here
- in this building, I am a resident of the,,, - Just 'cause you rented
- a hotel room for a night,,, - Tim: I'm a resident of,,,
This is a work-home environment, And I have my mail coming,,,
How do I have my fucking mail coming here,,,
- Gregg: You could get P,O, box, - ,,,if it's not where I live?
- Rosetti owns a house, - Stay out of this process,
That's my message, So, I'm sorry,
I apologize for the use of the "F" word and, uh,,,
Yes, Thank you,
I asked him to go, and he didn't listen,
Fuck!
- Tim! - I'm sorry!
I'm looking at you the whole fucking way!
Why don't you ask him to get security,,,
- get somebody to get fucking security? - Tim, calm down! Calm down!
- Fuck this! - Toni: You can't use that word!
I just wanted to get that videotape back on the weekend,
so I'll be in touch with you guys,
But go ahead and watch it and then see what you think,
and I'll get it on the weekend,
Okay, Thanks,
Rewind it,
Toni: So sorry, everybody, for his outburst,
He's been under a lot of stress,
(indistinct chatter)
I'm sorry, everybody, Thanks, I appreciate it,
You don't understand, I'm a very passionate guy,
I'm passionate for you guys,
And it's been a lot of,,, been a long time,,,
it's been a long, um, couple of days, okay?
I am so sorry, (sniffles)
Thank you,
- Can we take some food? - Yeah,
- Toni: Absolutely, - Tim: Help yourself,
Toni: Please, help yourself,
Thank you, guys,
We'll get them in,,, We'll get out tomorrow
and get down there and just get out there,
I mean, there's not a lot of people there,
so it doesn't matter, It's not like they're gonna,,,
If it was bad, it would be 1000 people,
- It'd be everybody talking about,,, - (watch chimes)
You guys are gonna need to take a piss break or something,
I got to be alone,
Gregg: Oh, it's like, I told you guys that Tim's nuts,
Josh: Gregg, can you take your hat off for a second?
- Just the lights, - Do I need to?
Josh: It's just casting a shadow on your face,
He goes in there, and he starts dropping the VFA name
to try to win voters over,
And it's not really fair to movie buffs
that might think they should vote for him
that he has something to do with that archive,
other than having caught it on fire,
I told you that he was nuts and you were wasting your time,
and you didn't listen,
And now you're still wasting your time
'cause you want to talk about him more,
What you should talk about is the movies,
But you guys don't seem too interested,
so best of luck to you,
Tim: All right, well, is there anybody else I can speak with?
Because,,, You know what I mean?
Like, is there anybody above you I can speak with?
'Cause this seems like,,,
If they're printed already, is there not a way
to hold the elect,,,
I don't know, stop,,, like, delay the election
until we can fix the mistake?
Because,,, So, what are you telling me?
That I have to, what?
That they,,, Can they write my name in at this point?
If I'm not on the ballot, how am I supposed to compete
if those two other fuckers are on the ba,,,
No, I apologize,
If those two guys are on the ballot, right?
So, you're,,, This whole thing,,, You're,,,
This board of elections in San Bernardino County,,,
I know, You've won this round, I guess,
but I'm gonna get the word out starting tonight,
We're gonna start making phone calls,
Well, that's a little,,, too little,,, little too late,
We're a little past that,
And if you guys would have been more cooperative
from the beginning and,,, then we wouldn't be here,
So, tell your boss to go fuck himself,
Hello? Yeah,
- Great, - Oh, Tim,
Tim: You know, it's blank! (sighs)
(inhales)
Tim,
Okay, we're not on the ballot,
We are a write-in candidacy, It's an insurgency candidacy,
And that's the news,
So, I'm gonna get some ice,
- (thuds) - Tim! Jesus Christ,
- (scoffs) - (door opens)
(Tim sighs)
Oh, my God,
- (pounds on door) - Tim: Toni?
- Toni: Tim? Tim? - Hey, I'm sorry,
Toni: You have to calm down, Tim,
- I'm calm, I'm sorry, - Toni: Calm down,
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, - Stop throwing things,
I didn't,,, I just threw a beer, I'm not being violent,
(Tim sighs)
Toni: I,,, I,,,
I don't even know what to say to any of this at this point,
Tim: Yeah,
Well, I need a little bit of space right now,
So why don't you, um,,,
why don't you give me that right now?
I think I just need,,, I need a little bit of,,,
I need a little bit of space, so,,,
Do you want to just give me a little bit of that?
Of course,
Yeah,
(Toni sighs)
(door closes)
- (sofa squeaks) - (sighs)
(burps, sighs)
(munching)
man: ,,,Beginning to get results trickling in
and will continue to do so over the next few hours,
We will keep you up-to-date on local
and national election results right here on KTIE,
The race that many of you have your eyes on,,,
(music playing)
reporter: And just a quick update on some local races,
In San Bernardino County,
Stephen Zupuato has defeated the incumbent
Melanie Fisher, for County Clerk,
And it looks like incumbent Vincent Rosetti
was able to narrowly defeat newcomer Carlos Sandoval
fifty-two to forty-eight percent,
For San Bernardino County Auditor-Controller,
Richard Davis has defeated
Assistant Auditor-Controller Oscar,,,
That's it,
,,,Reporter Jay Shay-Sibesta is standing by,,,
Tim: The winner, fair and square,
,,,and will be giving you updates from,,,
- Siri, call Riset,,, Hey, Siri, - (watch dings)
- Call Rosetti,,, Call,,, - (watch dings)
(inhales)
Tim: I need to,,, Can you connect me
to the DA office in Can Bernardino office?
Hello, Is it Vincent? It's Tim Heidecker,,,
calling to concede to you for winning election,,,
the election,,,
and wish you congra,,, wish you luck,
And it was a good, hard race,
And you won,
I know that you were behind many of the tricks
that you screwed me with getting,,,
shutting my,,, shutting down the press and everything else,
And, uh,,,
uh,,, you uh,,,
you suck, you know?
And you,,, you had the easiest case ever
in the history of courts against me,
and you had the smoking gun,
and you couldn't even close that,
So, just,,, You got to sleep with that shit,
And I'm gonna get you next election cycle,
(phone clicks)
We're living in a culture that is more and more about,,,
what's glittery, style over substance,
And Mr, Heidecker brought that into the courtroom,
We don't value substance, We don't value character,
I mean, Mr, Heidecker's character,
as far as I'm concerned, is nil,
There is no character there,
I lost my heart,,,
for the courtroom after that,
Once you lose that sense of purpose,,,
I don't care what profession you're in,,,
it's time to move on,
Tim: So, this is, uh,,,
this is it, This is the spot,
It's the site of the Electric Sun, uh,
20 music festival,,,
that they've condemned, but you can sneak in here,
I haven't really been back here since that night,
This place was a,,, was just filled with bodies,
That's, like, my last memory
'cause I was kind of buzzed myself,
So I was seeing, sort of, flashes of,,,
sick kids and, you know,,,
I don't know how much you want to talk about that,
(sighs)
You know, shit happens,
It was, you know, one of those bittersweet things
because it,,, it was such a horrible, tragic event
that we would take back in a minute,
but at the same time, it got me to this place
where I was able to come out
and get in the ring, get in the arena,
And, um, as much as I lost, you know, and didn't,,,
didn't win, that's the risk I took,
And that is not something I would ever change,
I wouldn't change a thing,
If they're doing,,, they would have counted the,,,
the absentee ballots and everything like that, right,
like, the provisional ballots and,,, Yeah,
I fought fair, I fought honestly,
and you know, I should probably give Rosetti a concession call,
(sniffles) Um,,,
You know? I guess that's the,,, the right thing to do, which,,,
You know, I should have done that last night,
I'm gonna do something, and you can film it or not,
I don't care, I just,,, saw this,
This is for the Electric Sun 19,
who accidentally overdosed on medicine that was,,,
that was tainted by the Chinese government,
And, uh, I'm sorry that I,,,
that I was in any way connected with it and that I was a,,,
a bystander to the massacre here,
And forever we,,,
we know that you guys are looking down on us, and,,,
you know, we wish you were with us today,
Let me put that here,
Does this work if I stand it up?
How's this look? Can you get this and,,,
Can you get the flowers,
if you rake up from flowers to me, mountains, sky?
That's your,, probably your end shot, right?
Dedicated,,, Something with text
dedicated to the memory of the Electric Sun 19?
Something like that?
Yup, Okay, cool, Great, We got it? Cool,
I think that'll play nice as your ending,
I don't want to tell you what to do, but if you can
just send me a rough cut
and I'll give you notes, um, that would be great,
I think you guys did a great job,
From what I could see, everything looked great,
I wish you would have gotten a version where I won,
That would have made, probably, a more interesting
documentary for you,
But maybe next time you can follow me around
on my next adventure,
"Whale Man," or whatever it is, run for governor,
- (watch chimes) - Tim: Ah! That's Toni,
Okay, I got to call her, She wants to talk,
But that's just sort of me and her,
so that's a wrap on this, I believe, don't you think?
- Josh: Yep, - Tim: Okay,
And don't use any of that shit with Gregg, you know,,,
or the stuff in the hotel room with the,,,
Just keep it,,, Keep it sort of positive, I think,
Good luck,
¶ Useless ¶
¶ Oh can't you see That I'd be useless ¶
¶ Without you loving me ¶
¶ Like you do? Used less ¶
¶ Oh darling, now my lips Are used less ¶
¶ 'Cause you're not here With me ¶
¶ I walked into a honky-tonk ¶
¶ The lights Were way down low ¶
¶ The jukebox played Our favorite song ¶
¶ And it hurt me so ¶
¶ Memories keep haunting me ¶
¶ Oh how long will they last? ¶
¶ I could almost swear ¶
¶ I saw you smiling Through the glass ¶
¶ Then you were gone ¶
¶ Now I'm so useless ¶
¶ Oh can't you see That I'd be useless ¶
¶ Without you loving me ¶
¶ Like you do? Used less ¶
¶ Oh darling, now my lips Are used less ¶
¶ 'Cause you're not here With me ¶
¶ I slowly drove back To our house ¶
¶ The dawn Was breaking through ¶
¶ I walked inside And then I saw ¶
¶ Old memories of you ¶
¶ My teardrops fell so softly ¶
¶ As I was standing there ¶
¶ My wild imagination made me Think that you still cared ¶
¶ Then you were gone ¶
¶ Now I'm so useless ¶
¶ Oh can't you see That I'd be useless ¶
¶ Without you loving me ¶
¶ Like you do? Used less ¶
¶ Oh darling, now my lips Are used less ¶
¶ 'Cause you're not here With me ¶