Okay, I don't know how many of you are new and ,,,
how many of you have been with us from the start,
but I am Laura Hollis,
Yes, the Laura Hollis,
who recently got famous,
or internet famous, because my university pals and I ,,,
vloged ourselves saving the world,
See back in my freshman year We discovered that ,,,
our Austrian university was actually being run by ,,,
an evil dean and her vampire cult,
Naturally,
They had been sacrificing girls to this ,,,
monstrous creature under the campus ,,,
for centuries and I was next,
Really should have gone to that safety school,
Anyway,
the dean sent Carmilla,
I'm new your roommate, sweetheart,
A 300 year old, vampires ,,,
with a checkered past and ,,,
centuries worth of victims to kidnap me,
There was just one little snag with that plan,
Carm and I fell in love,
Carm turned her back on ,,,
the evil dean, and with a little help from our friends,
Laf, Perry, Kirsch,
Mel and Danny we saved the school and ,,,
the world,
For stopping the apocalypse Carm ,,,
earned herself a magical human life, A vampire no more,
A chance to ,,,
start again and leave the crimes of the past behind and ,,,
for us to figure out ,,,
whatever happens next,
Okay, weird,
Old-timey and weird,
Hello?
Ghost lady?
- You are wearing my brooch, - Oh, Carm!
Did I scare you my pet?
You think? dressed like Lizzie Borden?
Wait, Why are you dressed like Lizzie Borden?
You mustn't be afraid,
Why would I be afraid?
We shall die as lovers may
Die together ,,,
so that we may live together,
Welcome back cream puff
Your horror movies are giving me nightmares,
oh well, Life is rough like that some times,
Come on,
How long it takes to kill one limping teenager?
What is this guy on coffee break?
So what happened? did you get scooped up by that ,,,
talking goat again?
No, I dreamed that you were a vampire,
It was very blast from your ,,,
Gothic horror past,
There was this old house ,,,
and you were actually kind of scary,
Did I hurt you?
In a dream,
Come on, it was probably a subconscious fascination with ,,,
Victorian murders,
Or,,,
Corsets
Well no need to go digging around in the past,
we have it much better now,
No arguments here,
So long hammer horror,
Hello, rom-com,
How Now Brown Cow
Happy Anniversary fainhfull viewers,
I know, I know, I know,
I've been behind on my posts, but ,,,
I would never miss this,
because five years ago today ,,,
a rag tag bunch of undergraduates stopped the dean of their evil university ,,,
from unleashing hell on earth,
Or, mostly stopped, You can't really blame us for Antarctica,
And where are they now?
Well let's check in with ,,,
a very special, 5 year retrospective,
And we will cut too ,,,
First up is Lafontaine and Perry who ,,,
as you recall, transfered to Occult Studies at Berkeley ,
and then started LaFerry Industries where they ,,,
have been revolutionizeing life for the supernatural with products like their ,,,
Hemo-soy vegan vampire nutritional supplements,
ever since, They got this huge meeting with a ,,,
mega-corporation that wants to buy their start up,
I'm so proud,
Speaking of super-successful people you guys remember Danny,
my Lit TA, turned
stalwart ally, turned repentant vampire ,,,
has turned into a vampire-rights advocate,
And what retrospective would be complete
without a look at how Mel and Kirsch and I ,,,
leveraged our amateur coverage of the almost apocalypse ,,,
into a career in local news,
If you're morbidly curious, here are some clips,
Today we explore the fast paced world of floral arrangements ,,,
cranberry banok, ceramic cephalopods,
So yeah,
Not quite achieved Lois Lane-dom,
But never fear,
It is all part of my 5 year plan,
After Carm and I ,,,
took our glorious gap year,
it was time to start real life, So we moved home to TO,
I finished my degree stuck my foot in the door,
And now I'm waiting for my big break,
busting open some huge Woodward and Bernstein style scandal,
and being moved up to the city desk,
Admittedly I have been ,,,
waiting a while for that one,
But you know that's what you do in life,
you pay your dues,
Unless you are a former vampire with 300 years of sunshine ,,,
culinary history to catch up on,
So what has our Carm been up to as a living-breathing human?
She's definitely taking advantage of ,,,
ye old vampire trust fund,
Bakery based gluttony, check,
Suntanning sloth, check,
I-have-a-pulse-now lust,
Well ,,,
Actually I can't really complain about that last one,
Yeah,
Unless you count staring in my spooky dreams,
it's been a little more pastry than purpose, lately,
But today's retrospective ,,,
perspective,
We're going to get our heroine back on track,
But,,,
where to start such a conversation?
Where else?
With dessert,
Have you been baking?
Happy Re-Birthday,
It's ,,, like a birthday,
but only for your,
rebirth because 5 years ago you got a life,
Not like a '90s get a life but ,,,
literally,
How very Lewis Carroll,
So speaking of 5 years ,
I was thinking that we could talk about ,,,
5 years in the other direction,
Because you've been through a lot,
Not just Silas, but Death,
And the French revolution,
So it's completely understandable that you're ,,,
- feeling a little lost, - Lost?
Ok, maybe not lost, but ,,,
maybe a little aimless,
Laura, are you staging an intervention ,,,
because you think that I' m wasting my life?
No! Maybe,
It's Just,,,
you aren't immortal anymore,
And I know that you want to make the ,,,
- most of your lives together, - Is there something wrong with those ,,,
lives being fun?
No,
but I think it's possible to have fun and ,,,
And did I go to supernatural therapist?
One time, You said you ,,,
couldn't take advice from someone, who was born after the moon landing,
and do I pester you because you ,,,
would rather spend your days in a news cubicle instead of ,,,
on a beach in the South of France ?
No you don't,,,
- It's Just,,, - It's Just,,,
you like making plans,
And I love that about you,
But,,,
It's my rebirth day,
So,,,
I want to spend it enjoying our lives,
Preferably ,,,
somewhere with a patio and a ,,,
extensive wine selextion,
And chocolates,
- Carm?
You're dreaming,
Oh right,
You are mine,
You shall be mine,
You and I are one,
forever,
Something tells me,
I'm going to like this dream,
Carm! What are you doing?
Carm, Hey! It's me,
It's me,
Laura, your neck ,,,
Oh, God,
What is going on?
Have you been in in close proximity to any vampires or vampire byproducts ,,,
in the past 2-3 months?
I you mean when a Sumerian goddess turned me again ,,,
last week? Must have slipped my mind,
I see that sarcasm hasn't suffered ,
Thank you for taking some time out of your meeting prep to help us,
- You guys anything, - Of Course,
- We're probably over prepared, - Something is definitely off,,,
with Carm,
For those of us without a fancy ,,,
cyborg eye?
This is Carm, and she is dead, except ,,,
Except the resurrection spell is still running inside of her ,,,
and keeping her a living human, It makes her heart beat,
hair grow and all of the other regular things ,,,
- human body does, - Like a magic battery,
I thought we agreed that we weren't going to call it that,
My vote is still with life force,
- No, that's even ,,, - What about ,,,
- your spark? - It does work pretty much ,,,
- like an ignition, - Spark it is,
- Spark, spark, spark, - I hope ,,,
you are enjoying yourselves,
Carmilla's spark is going out,
- What's wrong with it? - It's producing a sort of electrical ,,,
discharges that is making it flicker ,,,
and since it's what's, keeping her human ,
- when it flickers, she ,,, - Vamps out,
Okay, so ,,,
How do we get my ,,, spark ,,,
to stop flickering?
We'll have to run some more tests,
And in the mean time Carm just keeps randomly vamping out?
What are we supposed to do about that?
First of all she was jazzed like,
Oh, there will be a blueberry pie, right? I'm into the bluebs,
And t o top it all off,
I get to the fridge and it's ,,,
Carm?
You okay?
Sure, just grappleing with an aversion to daylight and ,,,
cravings for blood, - Hey,
Laf is going to figure something out,
I know, its just ,,,
this was supposed to be done,
You know, blood lust,
the self loathing,
sleeping tied to a chair in my own bedroom,
That one might be overkill,
You've never had a problem controlling yourself before,
Unless you count Dream Carm ,,,
chasing me through discount Transylvania all ,,,
"You are mine, you shall be mine,"
Wait, What did you just say?
"You are mine, you shall be mine,"
"You and I are one, forever,"
Carm, what is going on?
it was just some silly Dracu-Poetry,
my brain coughed up for atmosphere,
What are you looking for?
That House, This is where Elle and I lived,
Was this the manor in your dreams?
So this place Laura has been dreaming about the manor,
- it's real? - Not just the manor,
Carm thinks that,
from what I an describing ,,,
house, the clothes what she says,
that i am dreaming things, that really happened ,,,
150 years ago ,,,
to Elle,
Am I supposed to know who Elle is?
Elle, the girl Carm turned on her mother and ,,,
- stoped being evil for, - That wasn't Laura?
Carmilla's epic first love?
Also Laura?
Remember our first year at Silas ,,,
- those weird dreamsI was having? "Only they weren't dreams,
they were warnings from Carm's ,,,
So you think the dreams are from Elle?
didn't she like sparkle off into floaty white nothingness ,,,
after Carmilla killed the giant angler fish god?
How is that a sentence that I end up saying?
There is only one way to find out, Go back to the scene ,,,
of the crime, If it's ghosts ,,,
we can test the new spectrometer,
Yeah, I'm going and ,,,
I'm going to go crack anther bottle of hemo-soy,
Hey, sorry about the whole scene of the crime thing,
I what happened between you and Elle was complicated,
- I shouldn't have said that, - No,
Scene of the crime is exactly what it is,
You saw those dreams,
You know I ,,,
hurt her,
Hurt you,
You didn't meant too,
Maybe there is a silver lining in all of this,
If this is Elle trying to warn us about something,
maybe ,,, you can help her,
I'm done being a vampire, I'm done dredging ,,,
up the past, I'm done ,,,
with well meaning therapists saying,,,
"Close your eyes and think of those you have wronged "
"while I light up this funky incense, "
That's right,
We have plans and goals,
and a color coded chart, none of which features,
some mystery from your past stealing the life that you earned,
So we are going to figure out ,,,
who or what is doing this who or what is doing this ,,,
- Gruesomely murder them, - Stop them,
We're going back to Styria,
- Where are we going? - Styria,
- Why are we going? - To stop Carm ,,,
- from re-vamping, - Okay, but really ,,,
why go to the bad place with the monsters ?
Because of Elle's manor, It's in my dreams, It's all connected,
and it's our only lead,
Schnitzel,
How much farther till we get to this place?
-It's Just ,,, -Right around the corner,
Oh yeah it's cool Laura, I've got your bag,
You don't have to do this if you don't want,
You can just stay here if it's too much,
And leave you alone to ,,,
explore the mystery mansion?
Hard pass,
Hello,
Hello, knock, knock,
Elle's manor is pretty cool,
I guess if you dig the Harrenhal vibe,
Hello,
Anybody?
I'm calling it this place is totally haunted,
You don't know that, Maybe it's just ,,, creaky,
A lovely example of a 19th century schloss,
This is exactly like my dream, Beautiful,
I mean, abandoned and dusty, but ,,,
beautiful,
Oh well, we can deal with the dust,
Tell me you did not bring an entire bag of cleaning supplies,
Of course I did, Do you know what does dust does to expensive equipment?
We have EMF detectors, Geiger counters, various spectrometers,
You didn't think that maybe we would need some actual weapons?
Knowledge is really the best weapon ,,,
Pretty sure weapons are the best weapon,
Look at this princess, Carbon fiber limbs,
80 pound draw weight,
Capable of shooting 160 feet per second,
I call her ,,, Gertrude,
- You're Excessive, - Excessive?
Do you remember our senior year?
You were possessed by Carmilla's mom the evil god ,,,
who forced the entire student body including me ,,,
to dig a pit to the literal gates of hell? Or how about that time ,,,
that Lafontaine got brain sucked by the giant angler fish monster ,,,
Or how about that time the evil baron ,,,
tried to execute Carmilla? Or that time that Laura sorta kinda
- I don't know died, - We do,,,
have a lot of backstory,
Fine,
- Fine, Haunted, - Tell me that at least you two ,,,
- you packed some heat, - I know Krav Maga, I,,,
am a weapon, I brought walkie talkie and flashlights ,,,
for everyone, There is no signal service out here,
- They're going to come in handy, - How about you, Jughead?
Vincent Van Bro brought beer,
Is that her?
Yeah,
Let's search this place,
For girl who died 150 years ago?
Better not keep her waiting,
Is that you?
It was,
We should be safe to push the meeting until next week,
- Dont you think? - Do we have to talk about this right now?
It's only the most important meeting of our professional careers,
Per, we are searching a haunted castle for ghosts,
This is literally the reason we started the company,
- But if we had more resources ,,, - Hold on, I think I got a hit,
No, it's gone now,
Now see as part of Intrigue, we would
have all of the equipment and we could scan the whole house in like 2 seconds,
Yeah, I get it but we're not selling out right this second so ,,,
can we focus on the task at hand?
Let's check out the next room,
Looking forward to seeing her?
Elle, I mean,
I wouldn't blame you if you were,
Honestly, I would rather not,
What am I supposed to say?
I'm sorry I lied to you and sacrificed you to a ,,,
a fish monster?
I doubt there is Hallmark card,
It wasn't all your fault,
I told her these were going to come in handy,
Ghosts, This schloss full of ghosts,
Ghost, Ghost,
Everyone come on, Haunted house totally called it,
- Come on, - Oh crap,
- Go, go, - Perry, do something, - It's stuck,
Let me out,
Hi,
I'm Laura,
These are my friends and we'd be thrilled if you'd ,,,
abandon your plans to gruesomely murder us,
Hello, Miss Karnstein,
Hello,
Wait, I know you,
How do I know you?
Oh, dear this is awkward,
We imagined you would recall ,,,
Killing us,
- I'm Charlotte, This is my sister Emily, - Carmilla killed you?
Oh no not quite exactly,
Her mother did the Actual deed,
You were the girls,
who were sacrificed to the Deep One,
Yes,
We are the victims ,,,
of Carmilla Karnstein ,,,
and we would like to invite you to dinner,
It's wonderful that you have all been able to join us,
And naturally we are so glad ,,,
you have arrived in time,
- We've been waiting for weeks, - For us?
For Miss Karnstein, We hoped once she had realized what had happened ,,,
- she would return, - Hold up, did you just confess ,,,
to flipping the vampire switch on our girl Carm here?
Goodness, no, We couldn't have,
What little reseach ,,,
we have been able to perform suggests ,,,
It was Miss Karnstein's Life force that pulled us ,,,
into the physical world, Until a few weeks ago ,,,
we were trapped in a nightmare land,
doomed to endlessly repeat our greatest regret,
This nightmare afterlife, Is it more of a Jungian unconscious ,,,
or a through the looking glass style situation?
Stop that, I'ts not polite ,,,
to pry into other people's unspeakable sufferings,
Why would you be connected to Carmilla's human life?
We think it might be because it it was ,,,
Miss Karnstein who ,,,
She's the reason we died,
Yes,
The family here offered my sister and I a place to lodge,
they neglected to mention the vampire cult,
Same thin happened with my college acceptance letter,
You said you knew the family, Does that meant that you know Elle?
Miss Sheridan,
Yes, we knew her,
But she isn't here with you,
No,
She isn't with us,
But,,,
we're thrilled that you are,
Okay, that's it,
What's with Stepford Act?
I got you and your sister killed,
Yes, but you're here now,
And according to this spell book ,,,
we need you Carmilla here,,,
to perform the ritual that will let us move on,
I don't suppose i could take a crack ,,,
- at deciphering the book? - Oh, please do,
I have deciphered what I can, but ,,,
I'm hardly an adapt,
From what i can tell, if we move on,
your vampire symptoms ,,,
will go away, I assume,,,
thats why you've come,
haven't you?
Because otherwise you will be trapped here with us forever,
So their obviously evil,
I thought they were kind of nice,
More importantly is this ritual of theirs even going to fix me?
- It looks promising, - Promising?
Are you telling me that you were possessed by an evil goddess ,,,
- for like 6 months and ,,, - Eight, It was Eight months,
and you can't get more specific than that?
The entire book is written in code,
but ,,, if Emily's notes correct, it seems ,,,
It's two birds, one stone,
The ghosts move on, Carmilla stays human,
That makes sense, When I scanned them, ,,,
the energy of your spark was going straight to them,
Look for all we know they lured us in and trapped us here, Are we seriously,,,
- going to trust them? - What happened to them,
wasn't their fault, They were girls ,,,
just like you and me, with their whole lives ahead of them,
If this ritual helps them, and keeps Carmilla human
we have to try it,
- Sweet, Is that a Gameboy? - Even better,
It's an EMF alarm, Might be nice to get a heads up ,,,
if any ghosts come calling,
- Listen, Per, about before ,,, - Oh, I'm glad we postponed the meeting,
- You are? - With all the data we've collected here ,,,
we're a much stronger barganing position,
Really, Per?
I know this is the big leagues, but ,,,
why are you so pumped to sell our company?
Do you even know what I do all ,,,
day, while you are off playing ,,,
in your little lab? I balance our budget,
I get our products approved, I handle the ,,,
reckless endangerment lawsuits, At Intrigue there would be,,,
there would be,,,
- a legal department, Laf, - I see,
And by playing ,,,
you mean the research that makes our company possible?
- This is not fair, I ,,, - You know what?
I am too tired to deal with this right now,
Oh man we killed my sandwich,
Five-second rule,
Have we talked or have we not had multiple conversations about about ,,,
wandering away in the haunted house?
I know, it's just that the ghosts ladies are so nice, And you know ,,,
- how I feel about leftovers, - Kirsch, if your stomach gets ,,,
me dragged into some kind of black girl dies first bulllshit,
I'm going to come back from the dead and haunt your bar fridge,
They aren't going to go along with it,
They'll get caught up in the surprise you'll see,
It will all come out exactly as we planned,
Why aren't we just telling them ,,,
This again, really?
You would do well, little sister ,,,
We live for the eternal moment, chérie, We are power,
Be careful, my dear,
You would do well, little sister to finish ,,,
your task here without further delay,
Do think that our part in this ,,,
that what we do might be,
unforgivable?
Stop reading the romantics,
We live for the eternal moment, chérie
We are the power, pleasue,
we are only accountable for our desires
And for mama who is growing impatient,
You're wearing my brooch,
I don't want to go back,
Alright?
Another nightmare,
You and Mattie were talking,
she said something about an assassin,
then these paper dolls are disintegrated ,,,
I don't know,
It seemed more coherent when it was happening,
Wait, you are still having those dreams?
But we're here,
Why would you still be having them? Unless ,,,
Something else is going on,
Knocking, Still not a thing,
The Hunger wanted a midnight snack, and while he was getting it ,,,
we caught our ghostesses, talking about ,,,
some sort of surprise we are not going to like and sneaking into a ,,,
locked room, So they are hiding ,,,
something, Or someone,
Hiding something?
- How could we possibly ,,, - What's behind the door?
Why should that concern you?
Maybe I don't like surprises,
You look like woman who can cope,
This could all be easily ,,,
resolved by just, showing us what ,,,
- is behind door number one, - Of Course,
If you insist, but ,,,
you'll ruin the surprise,
We'll risk it,
We'd kind of like to know if you're planing to ,,,
throw a party?
to thank you for helping us,
- Your throwing a party? - The ritual can't be ,,,
performed until the ash moon begins ,,,
- And Emily always loved to dress up, - I can't imagine that ,,,
you're a slouch in that department either,
- You can't be serious? - I think it's sweet,
It's like a pre-ritual party,
before they go away,
Permanently,
Exactly, and ,,,
we would be honored if you would attend,
Of course,
Oh my gosh,
Ball gowns? Are we going to get our strictly ballroom on?
Best haunting ever,
How is it going in there?
BBC period dramas do not spend enough time on how ,,,
complicated these cloths are,
I swear I have been in here for 40 minutes,
Hey thanks for going along with this by the way,
Well what's there to go along with? I like Canapés ,,,
- as much as the next girl, - Still, it ,,,
can't be fun hanging out with your ,,,
- Former victims? - No matter how nice they are,
Yeah, well I'd appreciate it if they took it down a notch
You prefer a roaring rampage of revenge?
Yeah, all this forgiveness is making me twitchy,
You think maybe that's because ,,,
deep down you still don't think that you can be forgiven?
I see we have reached ,,,
amateur psychoanalysis round,
You see this is why I blew off that therapist,
Some things are too much to ,,,
talk about in an office full of crystal dolphins,
Think that maybe thats the point of the talking?
Except it wasn't just talking,
There was this manifest,,,
You aren't saying anything?
Did I put it on wrong?
I look ridiculous I do I look ridiculous
40 minutes to get you in to that, huh?
Bet I could get you out of it faster,
We already going to be late for the ball,
So let us be late,
I'm Coming,
Looking good, Frosh,
- What? - May I have this dance?
Come on,
I'm sorry about the way I handled things last night,
It's alright i know you didn't mean any of it,
It may have been a little bit harsh but that doesn't mean that I was wrong,
let's not fight in front of the ghosts, honey,
It's not your thing either, huh?
Emily has always wanted to belong to society,
I understood life differently,
If you have to conform ,,,
you never belonged,
Ok, how did you fall for ,,,
Vamperella's shtick?
I didn't,
But my sister has disappeared,
I went looking for her,
She's never forgiven herself,
And what about you?
If I didn't leave her then,
how could I now?
You want to try this stupid dance?
Obviously,
This is nice,
Kind of like that grand ball we never got because our school was a ,,,
supernatural death trap,
I missed this,
I mean not the pulse pounding terror but, the parts ,,,
where we help people,
But I do wish we would figure out why the ghosts were here ,,,
in the first place,
Hey, Laura ,,,
I know, No need to keep prying,
The ghosts will move on,
You'll get your life back and ,,,
We can go home,
No I ,,,
I think at the
the therapist appointment I may have ,,,
Laura?
Sorry,
Weird déjà vu,
What's going on?
I thought I saw
the woman in black ,,, you,
The you from my dreams, but ,,,
That's impossible, Right?
Come on lets sit down,
I'll get you a drink, ok,
come with me loving me to death or ,,,
else hate me, and still come with me,
hating me through death and ,,,
after,
Are you okay?
Where is she?
She was right here,
- What's going on, Hollis? - The woman in black,
- The one wearing a mask, - Everyone is wearing a mask,
You know,,,
who she is talking about?
Maybe if you are not feeling well you should sit down,
I dreaming things while I'm awake now,
What's next?
It's almost time,
The ash moon has begun,
Gather round for the ritual,
Before we begin, I want to say ,,,,
how grateful we are,
Whatever you have done in the past,
you have come to help us now,
and I think that shows a strength of character ,,,
that is quite remarkable,
Yeah, sure,
It's time, Emily,
It's your last night on the earth, Are you sure you ,,,
want another drink before you go?
The ritual must be performed before the ash moon,
ends at sunrise, Otherwise we're trapped here forever,
So no,
Wait that's the brooch that I ,,,
- Carm?
That's Carmilla's spark,
It's leaveing her, Why is it going into the brooch?
- Guys? - Weird did that spell ,,,
say anything about spirit entanglement?
It's not supposed to happen like this,
Something wrong,
Laura, stay back, It's dangerous,
- We have to stop the ritual, - I can't,
- It's out of control, - Emily, no,
We have been tricked, I don't want to go back,
We need to disrupt the connection,
- Don't touch Carmilla, - It will take you too,
Did you think that you would get away with it?
Summon us up to ease your mind and, then ,,,
and then just waltz away?
Did you really think that there would be no consequences?
It's you,
Surprise,
Not the brightest little ingenue, are we?
Is that pile of dust Lafontaine?
They're just ,,, gone,
- Are you okay? - Carm?
- I need to hide, - Carm?
Carm ?!
Carm!
Your heart it's not beating,
- You're a vampire, - No!
Why won't it work?
I've sent all the ghosts away,
Did one of them escape me?
I miss something or did that radically ,,,
- not go as planned? - It was Elle,
She was at the masquerade, She knew about the ritual, She knew exactly,,,
- what was going to happen, - How could she have know?
Because Emily and Charlotte lied to us,
They had to know she was here,
You think vacuumed screaming back to a hellish nightmare scape ,,,
was part of their plan?
Sorry,
We will figure this out, We will find Laf,
Why would Elle do this?
You hear her ,,,
to punish me for what I did, Stealing my life,
But she can't steal anything, She's trapped here,
just like us, unless all the ghosts move on,
But all the ghosts are gone, Except,,,
Elle and Charlotte, Elle can't leave until Charlotte ,,,
is also sent back to the nightmare land ,,,
like all the other ghosts, Laf thwarted her plan,
And now that my spark is in the brooch,
and Elle, has the brooch if she gets rid of Charlotte ,,,
she could become human and leave,
We have to find her, Now,
That's easier said than done,
Miss Sheridan has gone, girl,
Not to mention that we don't exactly know how ,,,
how to extract the life force from the magical brooch,
Might want to go easy on those thats the only case,
Terrific,
But ,,, Elle must have the spell already , I mean that's ,,,
her escape plan right?
So have to find Elle, before she gets to Charlotte,
then Perry can find the spell to put your spark back ,,,
Laura what are you talking about? We have to find Laf first,
Of course, of course, we have to find both of them, but ,,,
if we lose Elle now, all of us are going to be ,,,
We can find Elle later, Laf comes first,
We can't just let her take Carmilla's life,
We could start in the study,
I can not believe I'm saying this, but beefcheeks is right,
We don't have much time,
I need to get out of this dress,
- It will be easier if you let someone help ,,, - Did you summon up the ghosts,
Because that's what she said Elle, that you summoned her up,
- I think it's possible, - Possible? How do you not know ,,,
whether you summoned up the ghosts of your former victims, who ,,,
- maybe want some light refreshing revenge? - Because ,,,
it was just something stupid that happened at that therapists appointment,
What?
She said I could never move forward unless ,,,
I deal with my past, So ,,, she had me think about Elle,
and the others, and you know, there was the usual ,,,
Manifest your issues crap, but ,,, I had forgoten ,,,
all about it until my issues,,,
actually manifested,
When were you going to share this little piece of information with me?
I was waiting for the right moment,
You know what would have been a good moment? Any time before ,,,
before the ghost of your former lover killed you,
She killed you,
I thought she killed you,
Hey, Come here,
I'm still here,
okay, I am still here,
Were going to get my life back okay?
And all those things we want,
every single point on your ,,,
five year plan we're going to do them, okay?
okay, let's get you out of this thing,
Either Emily decoded the spell wrong ,,,
or Elle tricked her,
The spell she did cast, used Carmilla's spark ,,,
to force the ghosts off to the nightmare land ,,,
that Emily described,
Do you think that's where the brainiac ended up?
You think that you can get them back?
I think that the real moving on spell might do it,
But that means that we only have until sunrise ,,,
to find the code key, And we need Carmilla's spark,
That makes getting the brooch back priority one,
Hollis will be chefed,
Perry ,,,
Lafontaine knows you are looking for them,
They know,
It's what we do,
Its done,
We leave tonight,
In three days we will be on an ocean liner headed for ,,,
New York,
Your going to love New York,
It's full of concerts, and
theater, and
life,
Your life's going to be so much bigger ,,,
than you ever imagined,
What are you doing?
Laura!
Hey are you alright?
What in Stoker's name, is going on?
So Elle can dream-kebab you in real life?
Is that a normal ghost thing? Were we supposed to know that,
- they can do that? - She sent me dreams before,
This is the first time she has reached out and slashed me,
- Oh, dear, - No no no,
Not oh dear, we do not need an oh dear right now,
I'm still deciphering but there, are still several in this book,
which make ghosts much more powerful especially ,,,
in the dream world,
So Elle is better, faster, stronger,
Can we undo that?
Use the book to soup ourselves up?
"Side effects may include anxiety, insomnia,
dream contagion and ,,, death, "
So no,
Wait, dream contagion? Is that like ,,,
Sometimes, in the dreams it's as if she can't completely ,,,
control them, Like I am seeing things that she wouldn't want me ,,,
to see, Like just now I saw you getting ready to leave ,,,
for New York,
Nobody is going anywhere until ,,,,
we find Charlotte,
The Craft here, will keep researching You, Mel and ,,,
the frat boy can ,,,
- Where's the frat boy? - That burrito chomping,
protein powder snorting gullible mush-brained ,,,
Dope,
I told him,
It's the same as Laf,
Okay, we have to find Charlotte and we have to get that brooch,
back before Elle finishes this ,,,
reenactment of "And Then There Were None,"
Search every nook and cranny, Charlotte has to be somewhere,
Be careful, Elle knows this place better than we ever will,
The girls are caterpillars while they live in the world, to be ,,,
finally butterflies when summer comes,
But in the meantime, the're grubs and larvae,
So says Monsieur Bouffon,
Think of the trouble i went to,
warning you,
Thinking you would learn from my mistake,
Yeah, because Carm is the villain here?
Aren't you the one zapping innocent people for no reason?
I'm doing it to keep what's mine,
- That life isn't yours, - It's what I'm owed,
And I wouldn't waste it on some banal five-year plan,
- Laf?
Laf, I saw Laf,
Drawing some kind of symbol,
It looked like this, Or,,,
maybe like ,,,
this,
how did you get past second grade?
I saw it fore half a second in a ghost induced nightmare,
- Give me a break, - Any idea what it means?
No, but ,,,
if Laf thinks it's important enough, to send form beyond the veil ,,,
if I could ,,,
just identify it, maybe it could help decipher the ,,,
moving on spell, I'll try to figure this out ,,,
- while you guys go ,,, - Get a life,
- Go with her, Keep her safe, - And what are yougoing to do?
Well, young lady stole my life and ,,,
back into a vampire,
So in going to remind her what that means,
- How about you? - I've got the EMF,
If so much as peeps, I shriek,
I used to think, you and I would spend our lives ,,,
reading to each other,
If only i had known how one ,,,
of those lives was going to be,
Hello, Elle,
Is that all you have to say to me?
After what you did,
I never meant to hurt you,
Don't apologize,
It cost you nothing,
So what?
This is about me paying for my sins?
You never even stopped to think ,,,
if you deserve this life,
I've watched you,
All these years,,,
you've never thought ,,,
of anyone but yourself,
Well thats some big talk ,,,
coming from the girl who ,,,
sent her friends to a nightmare land,
Me?
No, No, I'm just thinking about myself,
Wait, I wonder who taught me that?
Not very ladylike, Miss Karnstein,
Laura,
Better run, Carmilla,
These old houses are so dangerous after all,
Damn it, Perry, We should have never,,,
- left her alone, - No sign of the spell book either,
I take it your little chat with the ghost of girlfriends past ,,,
- was a bust? - Yes, I'm getting pretty sick of ,,,
- this haunting crap, - Imagine how we feel?
I'm wondering if we might be of,
assistance to each other,
Miss Sheridan said you would never go along with the spell if you ,,,
knew she was with us,
I should have known that she only wanted your life for herself,
It was all she ever talked about,
the wide would that she had been denied ,,,
as if the same thing hadn't happed to us all,
I'm sorry about your friend,
I didn't know what would happen happen when they pulled me back,
Can you help us get them back?
I don't know, but ,,,
we have to stop Miss Sheridan,
And do you have any thoughts on the stopping front?
It's me she wants,
so perhaps ,,,
Do we really have to do this nightmare on elm street crap?
Fine,
Let's speak as reasonable women,
So,
your friends are,,,
trapped beyond the veil,
You, Carmilla and your ,,,
trigger happy accomplice ,,,
are next, Sugar?
Sure,
But,,,
if you hand over Charlotte and ,,,
- let me keep this life ,,, - It isn't,,,
- yours to keep, - That's beside the point,
Let me keep it and I'll bring your friends back,
You can all ,,,
leave this place,
What happens to Charlotte?
Well, I'm afraid ,,,
poor Charlotte will have to follow her sister, but ,,,
you knew that was always going,
- to happen didn't you, - She's just like you,
They all are, Don't they deserve a chance to move on?
You haven't figured it out yet,
The only way, that Charlotte and ,,,
Emily can reach ,,,
their everlasting rest ,,,
is if Carmilla sacrifices ,,,
her human life,
So,
Let's not pretend that ,,,
you'd sacrifice Carmilla's life ,,,
for few wayward spirits,
- any more than I would, - We can't just leave them ,,,
- trapped in nightmare, - You would let your friends die in here,,,
to help them?
There has to be another way,
You've had your chance,
Whatever happens now, is your fault,
Elle?
Are you alright? Did she do anything to you ,,,
- in the dream scape? - No,
No, I just want it get her out of my head,
When I get your life back,
Well we think we can lure her out into ,,,
the open by using Charlotte as bait,
You would do that for us?
There's only a few hours left of the ash moon,
If Emily and I want to move on,
It's our only chance,
There you are,
You know it's impolite ,,,
to cause your host so much trouble?
I'm sure that I'll find a way to repay you,
A Trap,
- You aren't serious? - Vampire,
warrior, journalist,
I like our chances, Let's have a chat about taking things ,,,
that don't belong to us,
You first,
- Mel! - Best get the broom out,
Look at that, Then there were three,
You should have taken up my offer, sweetheart,
- Offer? - Your life for your friends,
Do not worry, Laura declined ,,,
when she discovered Charlotte and Emily can't move on ,,,
without destroying your precious spark,
You'll never be able to ,,,
enjoy it, You'll spend the ,,,
rest of your days looking over your shoulder ,,,
wondering if its my step you hear at the door,
I'll take my chances,
I've got the brooch,
There's nothing you can do to stop me,
Maybe not, but she knows Krav Maga,
What?
Why do people always forget that?
No,
Hello,
Carm?
Carm,
Pull yourself together, Hollis,
Oh crap, We're alive?
Today, Toronto News 9 it's harsh reality,
Abandon your childhood dreams for the dubious security ,,,
of a sub-par paycheck,
Spend your days glorifying clickbait and your nights ,,,
letting fear and misery drive away friends and ,,,
loved ones, Accept that life is and unbroken chain of mediocrity,
stretching on and on and on,
Laura Hollis reporting live from a failed career,
I want my life, you little thief,
I want my life!
The doors are arbitrary, Wonderful
You are going to love New York, There's
theater and concerts,,,
and life,
Wait, I know this, I dreamed this,
What are you doing?
You don't belong here,
She laughed,
Miss Sheridan she laughed ,,,
at the very idea that ,,,
- Oh God, - Why did I trust her?
Poor Emily,
- Why did I not,,, - Poor Charlotte,
I was supposed to,,,
keep you safe,
Do you know what will happen if you die in here?
Let me guess,
- I die in the real world too, - Worse,
You will be trapped ,,,
in this hell made for dead minds,
I'm wonder ,,,
- If you will feel so sympathetic then, - Is that what happened to you?
I don't want your pitty, I want my life,
I can take it from you living,
or I can take it from you dead,
You've seen my dreams,
Have I ever fight gone down without a fight?
I'm stuck in an endless loop of some one else's damage,
- Classic me, - You are going to love New York,
There's theater and concerts,
and life,
- Oh God, Carm! - You're life is going to be ,,,
so much bigger than you ever imagined,
What are you doing?
I met a woman in the village today,
She said strange things about you,
What's wrong?
Why won't you look at me, Carmilla?
Look at me!
She was right,
You're a monster,
I can explain,
I've heard enough of your lies,
Or your promises,
all your talk ,,,
- of a new life, - No, not lies,
In the colonies everything will be different,
Nobody will know us, You'll see,,,
As if I would go anywhere ,,,
with you now,
No,
My new friend ,,,
is waiting in carriage, bellow,
She's going to take me traveling,
She will show me the wonders of the world,
No, you can't go with her,
Elle, I know I lied, but ,,,
the horror she has planned for you is much worse than ,,,
Worse?
Worse than saying that she loved me ,,,
while she drank my blood?
While she drank my blood!
Please,
Don't worry,
I've told her where you are,
She will send someone to deal with you,
What is this on repeat?
How many times have you watched this?
It's done, We leave tonight,
In three days we will be on an ocean liner headed for New York,
You are going to love New York,
There's theater and concerts, ,,,
and life,
You're life is going to be so much bigger than you ever imagined,
Hey, It's okay,
You are not there anymore,
You are here with me right now,
And I have the brooch,
If you can just absorb it,
Nothing,
Of course, not,
Of course we still need some stupid spell,
Maybe I should give her my life,
What?
Carm, you can't,
- She's unhinged, - Not to her,
to them,
Laura, everything you saw in there,
it's everything I've been avoiding for years,
Pretending like being human, ,,,
meant I didn't ,,,
do all of these awful things,
How is it fair, that I get this life while ,,,
they are just trapped here?
After everything I've done,
Okay,
A,
let's acknowledge that Elle and your mother share ,,,
some of this blame, And B
we will figure out another way a ,,,
way that doesn't involve you giving up your life,
You mean find a way, to avoid responsibility,
You heard Elle,
there is no other way,
It's my life for their freedom,
And what about our life together?
Our future?
You just going to give up on that?
- Laura, I'm not giving up ,,, - We're supposed to have arguments ,,,
over who does dishes and cupcakes ,,,
to celebrate big days at work, and grandkids,
What is that going to look like if you ,,,
can live like you are 25 forever?
You think that I don't want those things, too?
Please don't give up on our life,
I'm not give up,
But I can't keep running away,
Not after what I've done,
Okay,
Thanks,
Let's go save some ghosts,
Seriously?
People can't just dream about getting audited?
Laf!
- How did you,,,? - Escape my personal hell?
I've been through like three apocalypses, I could tell the difference,
You found any of the the others?
Funny you should mention that,
I tried to wake her but she keeps mistaking me ,,,
for me,
Form 83-B done,
Just filing 100 of these daily ,,,
You don't mind taking care of the deeds, Right?,
It will just be like 5-6 million pages,
You can do this alone, You don't need me, See you in 6 years,
Laura,
What are you doing ,,,
in my strangely bureaucratic nightmare?
Elle zapped us into nightmare land,
We have to do the spell before sunrise ,,,
which is coming up fast,
I hid away the pages, before Elle zapped me, but ,,,
- without the code key to decipher the spell,,, - I got the code key,
Oh, yes the symbol! Do you have the whole thing?
Yeah, I literally have a photographic memory,
Oh I could just kiss you and ,,,,
your robot eye,
You're safe,
Why are people hunting me for sport?
Mrs, Sheridan ,,,
laughed at the very idea ,,,
Okay, circle up, We don't need to,,,
hold hands or anything, the spell is much move powerful, but ,,,
it might be more cosy that way,
So what happens to us after the ghosts move on?
We'll either find ourselves back at the schloss or ,,,
- cease to exist entirely, - It's better than our usual odds,
I'm sorry, Not to criticize any plan, which would clearly ,,,
so much to our benefit, but doesn't that mean ,,,
you have to give up your human life?
Yeah, well I'm responsible for what ,,,
happened to you ,,,
so this is how I can help,
- Woah, what happened to the ,,, - It's cake now,
- Don't ask, - Okay,
All right, let's get this ritual started, before I change my mind,
Carm!
You think that I'm going to set you do this?
Steal everything from me, again?
But Carm really isn't the one who you blame for that,
Is she? I've seen that moment,
between you two over and over again,
You had everything you ever wanted and you gave it up because ,,,
- you were afraid, - They lied to me,
Carmilla, her mother,
they betrayed and murdered me,
You're right, it isn't fair, what happened to you,
but that is not an excuse,
Everything that you are doing right now,
hurting everyone else, hurting yourself it's just because ,,,
you are afraid of what comes next, but you don't have to be,
We can help you, We can help you find ,,,
The peace that you've always been looking for,
No, I don't want your platitudes, I want my,,,
Your life, You want your life,
Yeah, we know,
But it's not all about you, And you're a part of ,,,
all this, Stay down,
- Nice shot, - I've been waiting to do that since ,,,
we got here,
So you kind of rockin' the fieldwork these days, huh?
You think if we got some more admin help ,,,
- you would be able to come out more? - I think I could find some time ,,,
to playing,
We are almost free of all this,
You shouldn't have been drawn into it to begin with,
It was 1872,
If we hadn't been killed by vampires,
it would have been I don't know ,,,
tuberculosis,
Oddly specific,
Each day was made better,
because you tried to make it such,
I don't regret a thing,
Thank you,,,
for the dance,
I wish there could be another, but ,,,
I get it,
You gotta leave with the one the brung you,
Would you like to?
Obviously,
Can we please just move on already?
It's working,
What the hell now?
I guess with all the ghosts gone,
there is no reason for this place to exist anymore,
So,,,
It worked,
Hooray,
I'm sorry about before,
I think I've been so focused on chasing after your life because ,,,
it seemed a lot easier than ,,,
trying to fix my own,
Hey,
you're Laura Hollis,
I have watched you fight vampires,
and gods,
even that lady who tried to put us in line at the craft fair,
So you are going to figure it out,
Whatever happens next,
We are going to do it together,
If this goes Romeo and Juliet on us,
I'm totally going to haunt your ass,
Of course you are,
Well that was a kick,
Where are you guys?
And is everyone OK? Over,
Affirmative, Laura and Carm A OK,
- Over, - Front door is unlocked,
Meet you outside,
- You are supposed to say over, - Over,
Let's get the hell out of stria,
I call dibs on window,
And how does it feel, Ms, Hollis,
to officially be a freelance journalist at large?
I have made a huge mistake, What have I done?
I quit my job, I gave up my cubicle,
I don't have a plan, What am I supposed to do without plan?
Only about half of that was actual panic,
- So pretty good right? - Yeah,
I'm just going to go get some blood, babe,
- So this is a blueprint? - Yes, the ,,,
blueprints they sent over and check this out,
They have a industrial size cleaning closet,
And I was thinking you could put your reactor over here,
- in this corner, - That is a beautiful thing,
Selling out going smoothly?
Were retaining executive control ,,,
of Laferry at Intrigue, And they are giving us a ,,,
thorium reactor, A thorium reactor,
- It was really scary, - It sounds a little cushy,
It was a totally legit adventure,
There were ghosts, and a haunted mansion,
and this weird nether world,
And comfy beds, and midnight snacks,
- and a masquerade ball, - Look, I even have a mark where I ,,,
got ghost zapped, Look,
- No Seriously look, - I see it, Its good,
Ok don't give me pity eyes Hollis, Like you never ,,,
- had a crush on a dead girl, - That does sound familiar,
Thanks,
So,
Carmilla Karnstein ,,,
a vampire again,
What's next?
I thinking, maybe my PHD in philosophy,
Hey attend university for 70 odd years,
you rack up a few credits,
I'm so proud of you,
You aren't worried about how we will spend the rest of our lives together?
I figure any two people in a relationship ,,,
our lives move at different paces,
But that isn't the part that matters,
This,
Here,
Right Now,
This is what matters,
And I love you,
I love you too,
I'm Laura Hollis,
and this is a web exclusive for Creampuffington Post,,,
We are talking today with veteran dragonslayer,,,
Elizabeth Spielsdorf about the great apocalypse of 2015,
Hi, I'm Laura Hollis on assignment in Graz ,,,
where we are just in time for the ribbon cutting ceremony on ,,,
J,P, Armitage Memorial Library,
Laura Hollis reporting to you live ,,,
from the Geneva Summit on the rights of Werepeople,
I'm Laura Hollis, reporting to you live from Iceland where ,,,
scientists have recently a breakthrough discovery ,,,
of the the first drinkable fountain if youth,
A scandal brewing tonight on the steps of the capital
As the president who last month was revealed to be
an as yet unidentified species of lizard creature
with very small hands,
Refuses to produce his long form hatching certificate,
This is Senior Corespondent Laura Hollis For MSSSNBCD
Hey Mattie,
Hey, sis,
- Why are you,,,? - Back from underworld and ,,,
lounging in your charmingly bohemian pied-à-terre,
For starters,
You and I, and the little ingenue that could ,,,
are going on a road trip,
Turns out the angler fish was female,
Before it died it laid eggs,
Just an alarming number of eggs,
All right, let's get going,