Mmm, it's delicious,
It was a very good year,
No, awesome,
I'm glad you brought me here,
I'm glad you wanted to be here,
I feel like I'm in high school again
like we are out on lover's lane,
Well, I better get you back before your curfew, then,
Muy fascinate,
You're the fascinating one,
Ahh,,,
Humanity, Jack,
That's what's being lost,
When you buy a smartphone,
you lose a little bit of that humanity,
It's simple social skills,
People don't look people in the eye
when they fucking talk to them, anymore,
Do you know how hard it is to pick up a chick
in a Laundromat nowadays?
You can't do it, dude,
because she's on her fucking phone
in her goddamned Twitter account with her goddamned followers
tweeting about the goddamned guy hitting on her
in the fucking Laundromat,
Don't you find any benefits of technology?
Last week, your piece of shit Dodge Intrepid
broke down on the I-10 freeway,
All you had to do was pickup your cell phone,
called AAA up and say,
"Can you come pick my sorry ass up?"
Well, a kind man pulled over and helped me out,
Let's see, I got to meet him
and that was an actual reaction, you know what I mean?
When I was in Iraq,
I could contact Dad through Skype,
Vietnam, all they had was a pen, a piece of paper,
and a 50% chance that would even reach the States,
Dude, we got to go back, There's onions in this thing,
No, Fuck no, We ain't going anywhere,
I don't fucking eat onions,
We're not going back, You know why?
No,
Onions have penicillin,
Do you know what that is?
I don't care,
Dude, it's an antibiotic that combats syphilis
and I think you should probably look into it,
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Well, you are a desperate guy that does desperate things,
Go to massage parlors, go to strip clubs,,,
Massage parlors?
I don't think you can get that from there, those places,
Yeah, uh-huh,
Happy endings,
- You can get that from a hand job? Syphilis? - Absolutely,
- Really? - Yeah, man,
You don't want that shit,
Shit,
Oh, Christ,
Who's that?
Who do you think, man?
- Jasmine? - Yeah,
What the hell does she want?
Wants me to go pick up my shit,
Bitch,
She broke it off, man,
You're so much better than that, dude,
I really liked her though, man,
Beautiful, smart,,,
I thought she was a fucking cunt,
You think that about every girl you meet,
No, she was a grade-A bitch,
She was an elitist,
Dude, you know you couldn't lose an argument with her,
And she didn't love you, You know how I know?
How?
She didn't remember your birthday,
She didn't even know it was coming up, dude,
She just walked away,
It's the little things in the relationship,
Women always say that,
You know, if a guy forgot a woman's birthday,
she'd go fucking apeshit, dude,
- Yeah, - Yeah,
You know, I bet she remembers
the dead boyfriend's birthday, though,
I mean, they dated for five years,
and then, all of a sudden,
he gets gunned down, in broad daylight, for his fucking car,
I mean, of course, she's going to remember his fucking birthday,
But that was three years ago,
I mean, people get over shit, don't they?
- Well, I hope so, - I would think so,
Dude, it was doomed from the beginning, man,
He's a martyr, alright?
He's dead, He can't fuck up,
Dead people never fuck up,
This is it, man,
Alright,
Jesus Christ,
High society up in here,
Did you really think Jasmine was an elitist?
Undoubtedly,
Ahh,,,
Don't move,
Got it?
Emma?
Ah, we got a nosy neighbor over here, huh?
You alright?
Get in the van,,, and don't make me hurt you,
Oh, we got a baseball player over here, huh?
Come on, motherfucker,
Come on,
Batter up,
Like that,
Get in the fucking van,
The bigger they are, the harder they fall,
I told you no shooting,
I should have gave you an empty gun,
you fucking child,
Yeah, and then Babe Ruth back there
could have knocked my head out of the fucking park,
We got to get out of here quickly,
No shit,
Fuck man,
That bitch is going to call the cops,
She's getting the plates, man, We got to kill her,
The plates are fake, She's got the make of the van,
You can't leave witnesses,
It's unprofessional,
What the fuck are you looking at?
The fucking bitch tried to bite me,
Serves you right, asshole,
Don't fucking talk to me like that,
You're supposed to have my back,
I'm going to fucking kill you,
I told you, don't touch her,
I'm just easing the tension,
What the fuck did you do?
You knock her out?
That, or I killed her,
You better pray you didn't,
She's still breathing, man, Her stomach's moving, relax,
I swear the fuck, man, you keep this up,
I'm going to have you drive and then Shane can watch her,
Fuck, man, Shane?
Well, he follows orders, unlike somebody that I know,
I hate that fucking guy,
Did you bring the shotgun?
Yeah, it's in the back, It's in the briefcase,
Don't give it to Shane,
I don't trust him,,,
I trust you with a weapon,
He's not wearing his fucking mask,
You're driving, bro,
Is that her?
No, it's some hooker we're all going to want to train on later,
Of course, it's her,
Oh, she's giving me a fucking eyeball,
Oh, fuck she's awake,
And she just saw his face,
Congratulations, Shane,
You just fucked up the whole operation,
I'm sorry, Max, I just got here,
That's my name!
That's my fucking name!
I know that's your name, That's why I said it,
What are you doing?
I'm sweating my ass off in that thing,
Dude,,,
She saw his face, She knows my name,
We're fucked,
I guess it doesn't matter now,
I'm sorry, guys, Jesus!
I'm,,, I’m just here to drive, you know?
You know, Jack and I, we're brothers in arms,
We're,,, we were in combat together,
You know, he needs a favor, I oblige,
I don't know who this squirrel dick in the back thinks he is,
He can't talk to me like that,
Did you just call me a fucking squirrel dick?
Max, cool it, dude,
Don't point a loaded gun at somebody
unless you intend to pull the trigger,
Huh,
You're fucked up,
What did you do over there in Afghanistan?
Did you ever drive a Humvee through a fucking minefield?
I've fucking seen it, man,
I've seen it all,
I know you have, buddy, Just calm down, alright?
I know you know,
Your fucking friend here needs an education
in dealing with the pressure,
I'm fucking calm,
All right, Emma,
We don't wanna hurt you,
We just want you to calmly state that you're OK,
Oh,,,
Ah, shit,
Where are those damn onions?
Ahh!
Hey, dad,
It's me, Emma,
I know we haven't talked in four years,
and believe me, if I had it my way,
we wouldn't be talking right now,
I've been kidnapped,
I know you're probably pissed,
I am, too, but I guess,
in your line of work, shit happens, right?
Please just read from the paper,
They want five million dollars,
Now, you see, I couldn't tell them that there's not
a snowball's chance in hell that you would pay that much
for a daughter that you disowned,
but I think they're too stupid to comprehend that metaphor,
Call them when you see this video on this number,
There's three of them, Dad, and they're fucking amateurs,
Go ahead, Shane,
OK, she just said that she hadn't talked to her father
in four years,
I mean,,, what makes you think he's going to pay?
He's too high profile a man to face an embarrassment like this,
He'll pay,
How do you know so much about me?
My name, my address, my dad,
We're friends on Facebook,
Are you fucking kidding me?
Not at all,
Let me just go ahead and pull us up real quick,
Status update,
"I'm bored as hell,"
"I'm going to be trapped in my house all day long
"studying for my psychology final,
"Come through the backdoor, Bobby,
LOL,"
LOL?
Yeah, laugh out loud, you know,
like, when you're standing in front of a mirror,
staring at what a piece of shit you are,
Oh, well, that's very well easy for a rich bitch like you
to criticize, isn't it now?
Oh, give me a break, That was my mom's house,
I fucking live in a dorm and I work at Applebee's,
I like Applebee's,
Hey, man, can you take a right, right here?
OK,
So, I may have added you as a friend,
but that doesn't explain the address,
There's GPS data embedded in any photo you take
from your cell phone,
I extracted that data from the pictures you uploaded,
Shit,
Kind of makes you think twice
about bragging about girls' night out, huh?
Uh,,,
Go ahead, Pull in that driveway right there,
Are you fucking oblivious?
Jasmine? What the,,,
What are you doing? Stop,
Come on,
You don't have to do this,
I called you three fucking hours ago
to come get your shit,
Don't,,,well,,, You know what?
- I had something important to do,,, - Where have you been?
Do you not think that that I have something to do
- with my fucking day, huh? Huh? - Oh, come on, Jasmine,
- Oh, Shane is here? Hi, Shane, how are you? - Please, Shane, don't
- How lovely of you to join us, - bother her,
Is that loser Max in there, too?
You couldn't even fucking text me
to fucking let me know what you were doing,,,
What?
- I have an idea,, - Come on,
Why don't you and your dumbass friends move in together
so you can play circle jerk
while you play Call of Duty all fucking day,
Don't mind her, She doesn't mean it,
She's just out of her mind right now,
Let go of my fucking hand, Jack,
What are you doing?
I'm just,,, I was, just,,,
I'm trying to watch that crazy bitch out there,
that's,,,that's it, OK?
- Uh-huh, is that what you're doing? - That's it,
I know what you're trying to do, alright?
Do not fuck with me,
Hey, hey, what are you doing to her?
I'm telling Jack,
I'm not doin' nothin' to nobody, shellshock,
You mind your fucking business,
And you, who was that guy back there
at that fucking house, huh?
The guy that swung for the fences?
Is that your boyfriend?
Is that your fuck buddy?
I mean, he really looked all heroic over there, you know?
And I was thinking,,, I'm willing to bet
that your naked body was the last thing
that went through his mind,
I mean, well, other than that baseball bat,
You're gonna pay,
No, I'm gonna collect,
You are going to pay,
Uppity bitches like you,
who look down on me, my whole fucking life,
You're the one that's gonna pay,
Oh,
What happened?
Your crazy friend was talking shit,
He was scaring the poor girl,
Your job is to watch her, not to harass her,
not to talk to her, not to touch her,
Understood?
Yeah, yeah, I got that, OK?
But I'm sitting here
and you're doing this Days of Our Lives scene
out in the fucking neighborhood,
She's try, she tried to move to the door,
Take the tape off her wrist,
What?
Take the tape off her wrist,
Dude, why? She's going to try some shit,
She won't,
Ow,
All yours,
Alright, I got supplies,
Max, want a beer?
Oh, nice,
Road pops,
What the,,,?
I would have asked for 10 million,
What?
The ransom,
I mean, you didn't,,, have to kidnap me,
You could have just asked,
You and me could have split it 50/50,
Without all this unnecessary bullshit,
Yeah, right,
Give me that fucking beer,
Here you go, man,
You look so familiar to me,
Max, uh,,, played a car mechanic
in one of the Smile car insurance commercials?
Oh, shit,
Wait, I think I saw that,
What, you were,,,you were the guy who was singing that jingle,
right?
How did that work out for you, pal?
Not like I'd hoped,
- Jesus! - You jerk!
I almost hit a kid in a stroller,
You had unprotected sex! Big fucking deal!
Stupid mothers and their kids, man,
so entitled,
Can someone please turn on the radio?
Yeah, well, we don't jam to Shakira in this car,
Oh, give me a fucking break, man,
I listen to The Doors, Jimi Hendrix,
The fucking Stones,
Those are good bands,
The girl's got some,,,some,,, got some good taste in music,
Alright, Everybody, everybody keep quiet,
This is it,
- Hello? - Hello,
Who is this?
I'm the last person you want to send a threatening video to,
I'm going to assume this is Carlos,
Carlos Rodriguez,
I'm going to assume this is the fucking idiot
who doesn't know what he's got himself into,
This will go a lot easier if you assume
I'm the smartest motherfucker alive,
because if you don't,
things will turn out very bad for you, very quickly,
Let me talk to my daughter,
Talk to your dad,
Hola, Papa?
It's been a long time, hija,
Are they treating you OK?
Give me that,
Hey, reunion's over,
You dare interrupt us when I haven't spoken to her,,,
Listen here, you can make up lost years when we get paid,
Ah, the five million dollars you requested,
That's a lot of dinero,
You'll have to give me some time,
No, you have until tomorrow afternoon,
Outside Barstow,
Take the 35, exit 15,
Take the freeway east, 2 miles on a dirt road,
You come alone, you put the money in briefcases,
low denominations,
Uh,
Now, wait a goddamn minute,
No, no, You wait a minute,
This is the last time we will speak,
If you do anything that we didn't just discuss
or you don't show,,,
Then what?
I'll fucking bury her out there, asshole!
Welcome to LA,
Fuck,
It only opens from the outside,
Yeah, You can't blame a girl for trying,
Yeah, I guess not,
God, my mom used to say
that she could get from downtown to Santa Monica
in, like, 15 minutes flat, back in the '70s,
Do you just see your mom on the weekends?
You should know, Mr, Facebook,
She's gone,
Dead?
No, just gone,
I like to think that she met someone special
and is,,, on a beach in Mexico somewhere
sipping on margaritas, living the good life,
I take it your mother and father didn't get along?
Yeah, that's an understatement,
I mean, my mom was way too much of a free spirit for him,
He tried to control her,
He tried to control me,
That's,,, why we don't talk anymore,
I don't know why the fuck I'm telling you guys this,
I mean, you're all way more fucked up than I am,
Speak for yourself,
Oh, really?
- Yeah, - OK,
When was the last time you got laid, pal?
Jack, don't answer that,
Alright, I got two rooms,
Shane, you're with Max,
Emma is with me,
Oh, come on,
Come on, Jack, I'll protect her,
You like getting bit, don't you, asshole?
Jack, with all due respect,
I don't think it's a good idea that I room with Max, either,
I won't bite, Shane, I promise,
I swear I won't,
You see what I mean?
Your friend is a fucking fruitcake,
Now, I'm going to get out,,, real slow
and then you're going to follow me, OK?
You try to run, I will shoot you in your face,
Let's make this quick, I don't want anyone seeing us,
Let's go, Max,
OK,
Come on, Emma,
You know, we need to have a serious conversation
about your idiot friend here,
compromising this whole ordeal,
You know, under different circumstances,
I think we would have made a hell of a couple,
I would have killed you in your sleep,
My kind of girl,
Is exactly what I thought!
What's going on, Jack?
Are those bodies down there?
Shane, get her out of the room, now!
I don't know what room you put her in,
What room is she in?
Room 6, Move your ass, soldier,
OK,
That was badass, man, Where did they come from?
They were just hoodlums trying to steal the van,
I guess they thought wrong, huh?
Max, you wanna do me a favor
and take a look in Emma's purse, for me?
Yeah,
Wait, you have my purse?
Yeah,
I mean, we took it when you were in the house,
We figured if you were on the rag or something
and needed a tampon,
Great,
- Uh, Jack? - Yeah,
What the fuck am I looking for?
Her phone,
Jack?
Yeah, give that to me,
What the fuck?
Why the hell are you talking to her in Spanish?
I'm freaking out here, man,
I'm fucking lost and I'm exhausted,
Just relax,
We're gonna find a place off the freeway
and hide out for the night,
Well, well, well,
I guess it looks like we're gonna be shacking up, after all,
Oh, yay! I can't wait,
Emma,,,
Wakey, wakey,,,
- Time to go home, - You ain't ever getting out of this,,,
It's time to die,
Emma,
Why don't you suck my cock, Emma?
I would love to,
Oh, I know you'd like to,
Wakey, wakey, sunshine,
Are you OK?
Yeah, Um, I just, uh, had a bad dream,
I see I'm still in it,
Don't worry, Emma, Just a few more hours with us,
We'll get you home,
You'll pass that exam,
become that great psychologist you want to be,
I'm good, thanks,
Are we going to the drop-off?
I mean, do I need a gun, you know, what if he brings the cops?
He isn't that kind of a guy, He won't bring the cops,
Alright, So now what?
There's a diner 3 miles north of here
I saw coming in last night,
We'll go get us some grub there,
It's 8 AM, Max,
What does that have to do with anything?
Shane, you want a beer?
Here,
No, no, no, man, I'm good,
Come on, man, It's good for the nerves,
I got something for that right here,
You son-of-a-bitch,
You've been holding out on me this whole time,
No, man, I need to be sober and focused,
all of you do, put it out,
I'm gonna have some of that,
Nope,
Dude,
Jack said no,
What the fuck?! I gave you a beer!
Jack said no,
Sheisty motherfucker, you know that?
Oh, Jesus, dude,
- Fuck, - He just hit me with a can,
What are you going to do about it, pussy?
Dick,
What is all this shit?
Why are all these tools laying around?
It's dad's work van,
You knew he was a mechanic,
Could you just mind your own business?
You know, I was thinking,,, last night, about your culture,
Your men,
they got too much pride mixed with too much poverty,
which makes them overly aggressive,
Your women,
they're just skanks with high sex drives,
makes them uncontrollable,
And on top of that,
you guys are all under the conservative hypocrisy
which is the Catholic church,
That's a recipe for violence,
I mean, look no further than your home country of Mexico,
How's that for a psychoanalysis, huh?
And I'm sure America's addiction to illegal drugs
has nothing to do with the problems in Mexico,
Now, don't look at me like that, I got a,,,l got a card for this,
It's perfectly legal,
Oh, well, one of your children
just put a bullet in my head, already,
- Fuck! - Fuck, man,
- Fuck, fuck, - Fuck, dude, it's the cops,
Dude, do you think they know about the kidnapping?
Do you think they know about the fucking guns?
Do you think they know about the-the hotel?
Do you think they recognized her?
Can they even see her? Can they see in here?
Shut the fuck up, Shane,
My, my, what a predicament you boys have yourselves in,
Max, hide the beers,
I mean, who gives a shit, man,
The whole fucking van smells like pot and alcohol,
Just do it!
She's got perfume,
Spray it all over the van, please,
OK, Jesus, not in my fucking face,
Oh, fuck, man,
Alright, everybody, I'm pulling over,
Remain calm,
I'll do the talking,
Emma, you see this?
You give that pig so much as a seductive wink,
I'm gonna blow a hole in your head
big enough to skull fuck you in,
That's a small hole,
You shut up, smart ass, I'll shoot you, too,
Shit,
Good morning, Officer, How can I help you?
Well, for starters,
how about some personal identification?
Van registration, proof of insurance, please,
OK,
Shane, can you, uh,,,
Can you go ahead and get that for me?
Copy,
What, are you military, boy?
Yes, sir,
Jack,
It's just a paper cut,
Paper cut, my ass,
It looks like somebody's makeup,
Is there anything else I can,,, help you with?
You know why I pulled you over?
No?
You got a faulty taillight, dude,
Oh,
I've been meaning to fix that,
I've just been kinda strapped for cash lately, you know?
Yeah,
Like my granddaddy always said,
"If it's got tits or tires, it's gonna cost you,"
Wait right here, I'm gonna run this,
Don't nobody leave the vehicle,
Dude, you just handed an officer of the law
a registration with blood on it, man,
Classic,
Everything's fine,
He's gonna run the plates, which are clean,
He's gonna come back and just give me a fix-it ticket,
alright?
We're good,
He's not the friendliest guy I ever ran into, huh?
He's just doing his job,
Yeah, But how many people do you think come down this road
in a given day?
I mean, he's got to be,,, He's got to be bored out of his mind,
You know, we got,,, we got to be the first ones this week,
Bored Pigs?
They mean trouble, Jack, Alright?
They sniff around looking for shit,
And I don't care who you are,
Everyone is hiding a big pile of shit, somewhere,
That's a fact,
Let's just see it through, OK?
OK,
This vehicle is registered to one Edward Banks,
Yeah, that's my pops,
Then, you don't need me to tell you that
he's been reported missing for the last three months?
No, no need to remind me, sir,
Hey, I don't mean to bring up personal issues,
You just make sure you get this registration upgraded,
You got it,
What is that funky smell?
It's,,,
Squirrel Lips,
are you wearing women's perfume?
No, sir, sorry, that's me,
Yeah, three guys and a girl,
A woman's got to impress, you know?
Yeah, so why skimp on the makeup?
Oh, I must look horrible,
Yeah, we were on our way back from a camping trip,
in Joshua Tree,
and I was climbing and the cord broke
and my face violently kissed a boulder,
Ah, lucky boulder,
What is that?
Oh, that,,, oh,
Hand that over, boy,
Well, well, well,
Now, you kids wouldn't be drinking alcohol out here
on my roadways, would you?
We're just out celebrating,
We just forgot to dispose some cans, you know?
You could test me, yeah,
No, that won't be necessary,
I'll be back,
OK,
What the fuck are you doing, Max?
What do you think I'm doing? I'm gonna smoke him,
It's your fault he found the beer can,
Fuck the can, This guy knows something's up,
How do you know?
He saw Emma's face,
He saw the blood on the registration,
He knows something is up, This guy isn't stupid,
Did you change the plates back?
Yeah, at the hotel,
I mean, rock climbing, bitch?
Where the fuck did that come from?
I didn't see you come up with anything,
Oh, fuck, he's on the CB, man,
He's calling a backup, He's calling for backup,
Hide that fucking piece, Max,
Shh, here he comes again,
Alright,
I'm real upset now,
I got beer drops all over my patent leather trooper shoes,
It took me two hours to get those things buffed,
Now, I'm gonna let you go for the taillight,
and the fact that you got a sofa back there, without seat belts,,,
but I gotta give you a ticket, for the open container,
Understandable, sir,
You bohemians,
you try and behave yourself out here,
We get a lot of weirdos that come out to the desert
to participate in the devil's activities,
squirrel sacrifices and such shit,
Try not to venture off of the Yellow Brick Road,
If you catch my drift,
Got it,
Yes, sir,
Have a great day, Officer,
Wait a minute,
Do I know you?
Me?
Yeah,
Have we met?
Never in my life I would-l would remember a cop,
No, no, no,
I swear on a dopehead's crack pipe
that I've seen you before,
I'm positive,
Wait a minute, Wait a minute,
Now, I know where from,
"For the best insurance rates in town,
"You'd be crazy not to come on down,
We'll turn that frown upside down,"
Now, ain't that right? Ain't that right?
Yeah, we got a TV star in our midst, you know,
Man, I love commercials,
I hate TV,
I hate movies, but I'd tape me some commercials on VHS,
Hot damn!
I love your work!
Ahh!
Fuck,
Fuck me, man,
Jesus Christ,
We gotta get the fuck out of here,
What the fuck?
Why did you do that?
He made me,
He was a fan of your fucking commercial, That's it,
No, man,
No, he knew something was up, man,
All he had to do was see that this van was connected
to the LA kidnapping,
He would've known me from that commercial,
He would've knew you because your dad's name
is on the car registration
and if I would have got nabbed,
well, I would've gave this dumb son-of-a-bitch up,
so the bottom line is, we'd all be fucked,
I hope they fucking fry you, psycho,
That's it, man,
You know, we killed an officer of the law,
You can't,,, you can't do that and get away with it,
Jack, you've gotta stop your friend, here,
He's gonna get us all fucking killed,
- Shut up, - Don't touch her,
Why is the kidnap victim not tied up?
What fucking kind of amateur bullshit is this?
The kidnap victim stays tied up
until the end of the fucking kidnapping,
I'm done, Take me home, man,
Why the hell am I the most professional
of this whole group?
You want to get shot?
You're going to shoot your own brother for following orders?
He's your brother?
Half brother,
We had the same mom, until she got sick,
And who's been looking out for you ever since?
You're out of fucking control, man,
The guy at Emma's place,
the cop that was going to let us go,
You are a fucking liability,
Yeah, What about the carjackers at the motel?
I know as well as the day is long
that those guys weren't some run-of-the-mill thieves,
They had fucking silencers,
They were hit men for the Mexican cartel,
Cartel hit men?
Fuck me, man,
And what does she have to do with it?
Her father is their boss, He sent them,
What's going on here, Jack?
You didn't give me this intel,
Shane, if I would have told you we were kidnapping the daughter
of a Mexican drug cartel kingpin,
your free schedule would all of a sudden filled up,
Yeah, but I thought this guy was some investment banker
con man or something?
Like, fucking Gordon Sachs,
No, man,
He's a mass murdering, drug dealing,
and not-to-be-fucked-with bad motherfucker,
Then why are we fucking with him?
Because of this,
A ring?
Emma, do you recognize the name on this ring?
Carlos Rodriguez,
That's right,
I found this underneath a seat in this van,
my father's work van,
Uh, what the fuck is this now?
A wedding proposal?
What the hell is that doing in here?
The last known place my father was seen was Casa Vega,
He was on a dinner date with a Mexican woman
the night of January 20th, three months ago,
I found this ring the next day,
They found his van vacant off of Mulholland Drive,
Nobody's seen him since,
Oh, God, I fucking knew it,
I knew she was seeing someone,
Did your mother mention anything about a new man?
No,
No, no, she would never admit to dating outside of father,
She was always trying to set a good example,
My research has led me to this,
I got a ring,
I got the guy's name on it,
His wife goes missing the same time my father does,
So, this isn't about the money,
You know your father better than I do,
Would he have paid up?
No,
A love triangle gone bad, Are you shitting me?
Is that what this is all about?
I'm out here in the fucking desert
with a kidnapped daughter of a drug cartel kingpin
to confront him, to get a confession out of him
and to put a bullet in his fucking head,
That simple,
No, man, It's not that simple,
I needed the money,
I wouldn't have fucking come, otherwise,
What?
I'm sorry,
I got a drug problem, man,
It's-it's smack, you know? I can't stop using, you know?
I thought,,, l thought, with my cut of the money,
I could move out of the city,
They say that addicts need a change of scenery
or something like that, I don't know,
Fuck, dude, How bad has it gotten?
I sucked a cock once for a fix,
Oh, fuck,
Has anybody else have anything to confess?
Yeah, I got something to say,
Jack, I'm your brother, man,
And, uh, you know, if you want to get money,
let's go steal some money,
If you want to get revenge on cartel bosses,
then let's kill us some fucking cartel bosses,
But she would have never came back to you,
What are you talking about?
Jasmine,
If Greg had lived,
they probably would have gotten married,
And your point is?
If I hadn't taken action,
you wouldn't have got a second change,
What are you trying to say?
I was the carjacker,
He drove a red Mustang, right?
Some drug dealer was blamed,
They tracked the Lo Jack on the vehicle
all the way back to his house,
Santiago was the drug dealer's name,
He was my Adderall supplier,
You couldn't,,,
Do you think it was fate?
Some gangbangin' nigger gets 50 years to life
and you magically get Jasmine?
No, Aladdin,
Unfortunately, no fucking genie is gonna pop out of a vase,
He didn't do that for you, I did that for you,
She's miserable now,
No, I think she was always miserable,
It just took a relationship with her for you to figure that out,
Oh, my God, dude,
Come on, man,
I mean, we're a team, This is no big deal,
It isn't,
Dude, everybody's got skeletons in their closet,
Look at Shane over there,
He's a fucking freak, man,
I bet Emma's got her own fucking issues
that we don't know about,
Carlos is,,, my adopted dad,
My parents are gone,
When I was little,
I lived in this,,, nice community in Northern California,
I mean, it was great,
I had a swing set and a dog named Ruffy
and all sorts of cool stuff,
There was one Christmas that came around where
all I wanted was this, My Little Pony ranch,
Like, I was obsessed with it,
I was just, like, I need to have this,
And my parents knew that,
so they waited in line for hours on Black Friday,
just, like, knew that I had to have this
and,,, Christmas rolls around
and,,, they couldn't find it
and they even offered to buy me a horse,
but I was stubborn and I refused,
And they were devastated,
So, that night, I went to the bathroom
and I looked through these pill bottles
and I found this one that was,,, my mom's sleeping medication,,,
and I,,, gave it to them, to help them relax,
Then, I went to the tool shed,,,
and I found this big,,, thing of gasoline,
I don't even know how I carried it into the house,
but I did,
And I poured it over everything,
Her Christmas tree, their bed, like, everything,,,
then I lit a match,
It's funny, I was watching the flames
and,,, I just couldn't stand thinking about
the fact that my parents had failed me, you know,
I told the cops that Ruffy had bit through an electrical wire
and that's what caused the fire, but really,
I snapped his neck and I let him burn with my family,
Ha-ha-ha,
I'm fucking with you,
You guys are fucking pathetic,
I mean, seriously, I have never been around a bigger group of
pussies in my entire fucking life,
Can we please just get this shit over with so I can watch my dad
put a bullet through your whiny-ass brains, please?
I guess we're all on a highway to hell,
I'm hungry,
Good idea,
OK, I got all the orders,
Shane, I don't have to tell you this
- but watch our guest, alright? - Alright,
Hey, Shane, Why don't you let me out, too?
Alright,
Emma?
Emma, I need to talk to you,
OK, You don't need to whisper,
We have to get away from that guy,
We have to get away from that psycho,
Yes, yes, agreed,
OK, When I was first taken,
they were talking about a shotgun
and it's in here somewhere
and Max specifically said not to give it to you,
So, you need to come back here and find it, OK?
OK,
Are they looking over here?
No, But you gotta hurry, come on,
Oh, shit,
Do you see it?
No,
Fuck,
No,
- I-I think I found it, - OK,
- A silver briefcase, - Come on,
It's kinda heavy, though,
- Here, let me see, - OK,
Um, I-I need you to see if it fits
underneath the passenger seat, OK?
OK,
Does it fit?
Yeah, yeah,
OK, good, good, sit down,
Did they see me?
No, you're good,
OK, Uh,
so, the plan is,,, once we're back on the road,
I'm going to say that I need to go pee, or something,
alright?
And then, we'll pull over
and I'll take them, as far into the woods, as I possibly can,
and then, you,,, you get out the gun, OK?
Alright, yeah, Yeah, I got that,
OK, cool,
I'm fucking hot,
Is that the key?
Yeah,
Wait, have you had that the entire time?
I'm the driver,
Well, then, let's get the fuck out of here, now,
OK,
What are you doing, Shane?
Emma, uh, Emma was hot,
I'm just,,, I’m just turning on the air conditioner,
OK,
You know what?
Why don't you drive?
Yeah, I'm,,,
I insist, man, I've been driving for a while,
I could use a break,
- OK, OK, - Alright,
Ready in 15 minutes and we're good to go,
Hey, Shane, Can you pull over?
I gotta go pee,
You ask Jack if you need to go pee, not Shane,
He ain't got no say in the matter,
Jack, can I please go to the bathroom?
I don't really feel like meeting my dad,
after four years of not seeing him,
sporting a urine stain,
Shane, why don't you just go ahead and pull over right here?
10-4,
OK, Emma, You're comin' with me,
Max, Shane, you're both to stay in here,
No, I got to go outside,
No, you won't,
I insist,
I could use a wilderness walk,
What the fuck ever, Shane, you're good?
Absolutely,
Alright,
Hey, Shane,
You look a little nervous,
I'm fine,
Mind your fucking business,
Must be those withdrawal symptoms, huh?
Hey Jack, we better get out of here
before he starts sucking our dicks,
Hey, fuck you, man,
Watch your fucking mouth,
Whatever, man,
Alright, fuck,
Fuck!
Fuck,
Fuck!
Fuckin,,, the fuckin' keys, keys, keys,
Fuckin',,,
That one,
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes,
Ah,
The fuckin' keys,
Hey!
Jesus, fuck,
You OK?
You scared me,
Calm down, tweeker,
Why's the van turned off?
It's just uh, I was,,,
I was nervous that I was,,,
I was afraid it was gonna overheat,
You look like you're about to overheat,
Christ, you're sweating like a whore in church,
I'm just nervous about the drop is all,
There's no need to be,
Everything'll be fine,
So, what's going on?
Oh, you know,
I just, uh, had to grab Jack's phone for a second,
Why is it in here?
Oh, um, I hid it,
Why?
Oh, reconnaissance,
What?
You know, Like, spy shit,
It's pretty trippy, man,
I mean, I'm actually starting to get into these whole
benefits of technology,
Yeah, it's the way of the world,
Did you know that there are kids in elementary school
as young as 6, 7 years old,
they got their own laptops now?
Spoiled brats,
Yeah,
In Arizona, they got cars that drive themselves,
Do you know how cool that's gonna be?
It's gonna be available for mass production
in the next 10 years,
I'd finally be able to,,, to nap in LA traffic,
And they've got cameras,,, everywhere
and I mean,,, everywhere,
From outer space to cyberspace,
they watch us eat, sleep,
fuck,,, chat, shit,,, and,,,
And what?
And conspire,,,
We,,, we need to get away from that guy,
He's a psycho,
That's not it,
You know, I cannot wait to show Jack this footage,
I have had his back from the beginning,
I always have,
And besides,
what the fuck could you two possibly have in common?
That was a wrong move, motherfucker,
Hey,,, throw it out the window, psycho,
The cocksucker is getting cocky, huh?
I'm not gonna ask you again,
OK,
Jack is gonna be pissed,
No, man, He'll understand,
He's a reasonable guy,
He's gonna know you're the real problem,
What happened to this whole brothers in arms thing, huh?
You know, you're really letting your buddy down,
No, I knew people like you in the military,
You mean war heroes?
No, I mean, sick fucks,
guys with murder and mayhem in their blood,
I'm not the one scheming behind people's backs,
Shut up!
You bastards all have one thing in common:
a hatred for humanity,
You can't be reasoned with,
You can't be saved because you have no soul,
You're the one pointing a gun at me,
It takes a psycho to know a psycho,
Yeah, you got that right,
All that military experience
and you forgot to load the fucking gun?
Really?
You stupid, pathetic asshole,
I'll be damned,
The phone still works,
Ahh,
Oh, God! Ahh!
Shane, what the fuck?
- Hey! - He was a madman,
He attacked me,
And he was gonna get us all killed,
Are you crazy?
No, you're the crazy one,
Lettin' this lunatic come along on the mission?
Put the gun down, Shane,
I'm gonna have to ask you to step away from the van,
- Think about what you're doing, - Now!
And take that piece of shit psycho with you,
I'm sorry, Jack,
But Emma and I can't be involved
in this crazy vendetta plan of yours any longer,
You're gonna get us all killed,
He's right, Jack,
What about your mom?
Don't you want to know?
Yes, of course, I fucking do,
Not in some cinematic shootout in the desert,
This is my fucking life, for Christ's sake,
Close that door, Jack,
I'm sorry, Jack,
Bury your brother,
Fuck!
I feel bad,
I mean, you guys were the ones who kidnapped me,
but,,, Jack,,,
You know, I-I know he meant well, but,,, that was the wrong approach,
I mean, going against your father's men like that,
that's a suicide mission,
Where am I taking you, anyway?
I guess back to LA?
God, This is all so fucked,
My mom disappears,,, and I can't confront my dad about it,
and then, you guys show up,
It'll be OK, I mean, I can-I can help you,
And then, my neighbor,
I don't even know if he's OK,
- Was he a nice guy? - Yeah,
He was awesome,
He had these two little girls, He coached their soccer team,,,
Came over,,,
I don't know, I'm sorry,
I don't know why I'm telling you this,
Well, we're friends now, aren't we?
Yeah, something like that,
Well, we got through this, you know,
I mean, someday, you know, we might look back
and we'll laugh on it, you know?
You think we can pull over for a second
just so I can get this tape off my wrist?
Oh, sure,
I'm sorry, I for-forgot all about that,
You know what? We'll pull over here,
It should be far enough away,
Alright,
Turn towards me so I can take care of that for you,
You-you know what?
Let me-let me just load this gun first, actually,
How'd you say you know Jack?
We're old war buddies, Afghanistan,
You guys must have seen some pretty bad stuff out there,
You have no idea,
He was-he was a big help when my girlfriend left me,
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, What, uh, what happened?
I beat her,
Yeah, you-you what?
It's not my fault,
You know, I,,, doctors prescribed me with that
post traumatic stress disorder,
You know, bouts of anger and rage,
I had blackouts, I couldn't even remember them,
That's actually why I use the smack,
you know, to calm down from that,
It worked for a while,
Can you, uh, can you take this tape off me now?
Is my story boring you?
No, no, not at all,
I just, um, I don't want Jack catching up to us, that's it,
That's all,
Yeah, about Jack,
Jack,,, Jack really helped me out, you know?
Yeah, I remember, about six months ago,
I had one of my blackouts
and when,,, and when I came to, you know,
I had my hands around her neck
and I was just strangling the life out of her,
I,,, I-I don't,,, I don't wanna get too graphic,,,, but,,,
Anyway, you know, he testified on my behalf
and the court said, you know,
I didn't get the proper psychiatric treatment,
Yeah, you know, I've actually been studying a lot about that
in psychology,
It's a fucking shame what they do to our war vets,
you know?
Yeah, you know what? I agree,
It really is,
Can you turn around for me, for a sec?
Yeah, sure, sure,
Why are you crying?
I'm not,,, I’m not upset at all,
- Are you scared of me? - No,
- I'm a good guy, - I believe you,
Women always misjudge me,
I am not misjudging you, I swear,
Don't lie to me!
Ahh,
Alright,
Finally, a little alone time,
I bet you know what that means for you,
Oh yeah, socially awkward,
woman hating, fucking psychopath
doing what he does best,
Oh yeah? What's that, baby?
Humiliate yourself with your little dick size,
lack of experience, and lack of fucking stamina,
- Yeah,,, - Get off me,
Ahh,,
When I raided Kabul, I raped so many women,
everybody just turned their backs,
I miss that submissive quality of women, here in the States,
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah,
A little too bitchy,
You are by far the most pathetic of all your fucking friends,
I'm going to choke the life right out of those
pretty little eyes!
Like Jack says, we're all on a highway to hell,
I'm just gonna make sure the whore gets the express lane,
Quiet,
Just try to sleep,
Shh, baby, shh,
I'm bleeding, dammit,
Goddamn, look what you fucking did to me,
God,
No, come back here,
Come with me,
Ahh,
Come on, bitch!
What you got?
I got shotgun, motherfucker,
- Fuck, - Whoa, don't shoot,
Where are those bastards?
They're dead, Papa,
- Dead? - I killed them,
How?
You look like hell, mija,
Let's get you cleaned up,
I'm fine,
You've been taking care of yourself in LA?
I was about to graduate,
That's right, High school,
College, But thanks for trying,
I don't know what I've done to get you into this situation,
You know, there are some people, they just want what I have,
You mean, a wife that's gone
and a daughter you don't speak to?
Hopefully, we can fix that, mija,
We'll take care of this,,, thing that's-that's between us,
Why didn't you contact me after mom disappeared?
What are you talking about?
Can we discuss this some other time?
I've been sweating my ass off out here,
Sure, Sure thing,
Ah, atta girl,
Hey, Papa,
I found this in mother's things,
Is it yours?
Yeah, I've been looking all over for it,
Then what was it doing in this van?
I don't know what you're talking about,
Three months ago, you were in this van,
No, I've-I’ve never seen this piece of shit before in my life,
Where is she? Where is Mama?
Please, Daddy, I am begging you,
Just tell me where she is,
Your mother abandoned us, both of us,
Don't say those things to me, OK?
I need to know what you did with her,
Your mother had problems,
She-She wanted to get away for a while,,, leave America,
Don't like to me,
Where is she? What did you do to her, huh?
Well, you found out that she was happy,
that she was with someone else
and you couldn't fucking stand on that, could you?
I've been sweating out here in this desert,
trying to save you from them gringos,
I was better off with them,
Huh, your mother thought she was better off with one, too,,,
a mechanic,
Huh, she thought she'd have a,,, a romantic rendezvous,
Ironic, a mechanic,
That's a spic job,
My men followed them to Mulholland Drive,
That's where I found them,
I hate you,
I always have,
Like mother, like daughter,
I suppose you want to see where she's at?
Maybe, I'll lay you right next to her for eternity,
Adios, mi amor,
Is that all you got?
You bitch,
You mother puto!
There!
Die, gringo!
You fucked with the wrong mechanic, asshole,
It's over, Emma,
Fuck!
God! Bitch!
Come on,
Where to now?
A hospital would be nice,
Hey,,, do you think you can grab my dad's ring for me?
Yeah,
Thank you,