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(wolf howling)
- [Larry] This is it, Fred,
The night we've waited for all year long,
- [Fred] Good Mischief Night, Larry,
Oh, without a doubt, the best night of the year,
- That's right,
What other time can we be ourselves,
mingle with the living,
and have a total blast?
- Oh, none that I can think of,
Thank Hades for Mischief Night, huh?
- The only time of year I can go any place I want,
Nobody gets scared, and everybody likes me,
They just think I'm a cool dude in a cool costume,
- I wish I could say the same thing,
Folks usually think I'm lazy,
Yeah, and just wrap myself in head to toe in gauze
from the medicine cabinet,
Sometimes, I wanna unwrap,
and watch their faces when these
dusty bandages hit the floor,
(laughing)
Yeah, and poof,
there's nothing left,
- Now that would be some kind of parlor trick, Fred,
- Yeah,
It would be,
But I don't know how I'd ever rewrap myself,
I'm made up of dust and stale air molecules
at this point, you know?
(laughing)
Oh, I'd just vanish,
- Then let's never do that,
You're my best friend, Fred,
Mischief Night wouldn't be the same without you,
- You're not just saying that because
I'm a 2,000 year old mummy,
Inviting me would be like
eating one of those foam rubber pie displays
from the window of Mrs, Crampton's
Cakes and Curiosities, are ya?
- Definitely not,
I'm saying it because I mean it, Fred,
I can't imagine having more fun
with anyone on Mischief Night than I have with you,
Even if you are a 2,000 year old mummy,
- Oh, well thanks, Lar,
I think you're swell, too,
(laughing)
For a zombie,
- Hey, wouldn't it be wild if these were costumes?
And in the morning,
we could wipe off the grease paint,
and unwrap the bandages, and voila!
We were just a couple of guys from the neighborhood,
with jobs and hobbies,
and families,
(hesitating)
- Yeah,
That'd really be something,
I've been wrapped up like this for so long,
I can't remember what it was like before,
- Same here,
I used to love trick-or-treating
for all that candy,
Boy, I really had a sweet tooth,
Ever since I became a zombie, though,
my diet's changed quite a bit,
I mean, I still have the sweet tooth,
but my cravings are a little different,
- That's an understatement,
Well listen,
There's no point in musing about how it could be
when this is how it is,
We are what we are,
I'm a mummy,
and you're a zombie,
And tonight's Mischief Night,
So let's have fun,
- You know, Fred,
there might be somebody out there
who could answer our wish,
- Oh, not with that old legend again, Larry,
It's just a legend,
Nobody can answer our wish,
- Ah, alright,
- So, ready to have fun? (light instrumental music)
- You bet,
- That's the spirit,
(laughing)
- You know, Fred, being undead here in Halloween World
isn't so bad,
We have ghosts and ghoulies behind every tree,
under every rock,
and Grand View Cemetery throws the biggest parties ever,
- [Boo] Hey guys,
- Hey, Boo,
- Oh, sup Boo?
- Are you two ready for the one and only Mischief Night?
- [Fred And Larry] Yeah!
- Oh, I'm telling you boys,
tonight's the greatest night in recorded history,
(laughing)
So many opportunities for creeps and frights,
With shrieks of terror all through the night,
- It's guys like you who make it
as fun as it can be, Boo,
- No doubt,
What would Mischief Night be
without the one and only Boogeyman?
- Thanks, boys,
I know I put on a savage front,
but it's nice to be appreciated,
It's hard work being the Boogeyman,
(chuckling)
- Oh, I'll bet,
- I mean, I wanna scare the whole world in one go, you know?
But I just can't,
So many victims, so little time,
- Frustrating,
- You got that right,
Hey, you guys wanna team up tonight?
You take the East side,
I'll take the West,
We can work our way to the middle
and spook folks white haired, ah,
- That sounds like a good time, Boo,
but we might just take it easy tonight
and watch the festivities from afar,
- Watch from afar?
What kind of evil-doing is that?
- We're not much interested in evil-doing, Boo,
Oh, we wanna have fun,
- Fun?
Fun's in the eye of the beholder, mummy,
And what's more fun than mayhem,
destruction, unbridled terror?
- Oh, I don't know,
Making friends, doing new things, going new places,
- Guys, the chasm between us is widening
like the river Styx,
Hm, what's with all this feel-good mumbo jumbo
you're spewing out?
You got food poisoning?
Bite a bad brain, or something?
- No, Boo,
Everything's fine,
We'd just kinda like to mingle,
See how the other half lives,
- The living half,
- Right,
Maybe we can make some new friends,
and do some different stuff in the new year,
When everyone flees in horror
at the mere sight of you,
after a while, it gets to be a real drag,
- If you ask me,
the only thing more fun than making
folks flee in horror is when you trap 'em in
when they got nowhere to run,
(laughing)
Talk about good times, (light instrumental music)
- Say, Boo,
Have you ever heard the ancient tale of Goul?
- You bet ya,
- Ooh, that's just legend, right?
- Not at all, folks,
- See?
I told you,
- Goul is an ancient sage tree
that grows in the fat countryside out of town,
- He does?
I knew it,
- But he ain't no easy find,
It's said that Goul's roots
are like giant squid tentacles,
And he can uproot himself and move around at will,
- Whoa,
That's wild,
- Sure is,
Legend also has it that Goul will grant
every traveler a wish,
One wish, once a year,
And once a year only,
You guys know when that is?
- It's gotta be tonight, right?
- Bingo, Sherlock,
Mischief Night it is,
- See?
Sounds like Goul could be the answer
to all of our problems,
- I suppose he does,
Do you know where we might find Goul tonight, Boo?
- Me?
Nah,
I've never seen Goul myself,
For all I know, the legend could just be
a bedtime story to scare kids to sleep,
Or to keep 'em up all night,
Which is even more fun,
- Oh,
- Cheer up, old chops,
I hear Goul lives somewhere along
the brick road of the dead,
You could go and check for yourselves
if the legend is true,
- The brick road of the dead?
But the brick road of the dead
doesn't exist in the realm of conventional physics,
It's endless,
You could travel it for eternity,
and never reach your destination,
- That's right,
And when I was growing up,
my mom told me never to travel
the brick road of the dead,
She said only creepers used it,
and only bad stuff happened on it,
- Yeah,
That's what I thought, too,
So I started hanging around it for kicks,
But they've really cleaned that road up a lot
in the last few centuries,
There's even a community garden now,
- A community garden?
- Yeah, watch out, though,
It's full of man-eating plants and stuff,
And you don't even wanna meet the banana spiders,
Yeesh, they're huge,
Those things even give me the willies,
- Thanks for the advice, Boo,
but it sounds kinda dangerous,
Maybe we'll just stay home tonight,
and we'll watch the parade on TV,
and play board games,
- Oh, give me a break, mummy,
Board games make you bored,
Now I know you guys are deader than doornails,
but live a little,
for crying out loud, (upbeat instrumental music)
It's not like you'll be alone,
You guys do everything together, right?
So, go on a grand adventure,
Strike out for parts unknown,
Nobody can change your life except you,
It's Mischief Night,
What do you have to lose?
- Yes, - No,
(wolf howling)
(mellow instrumental music)
- Boo's right,
What do we have to lose?
I mean, look at us,
We're technically already dead,
It's not like we'd be killed
by a carnivorous plant or heinous snake attack,
Let's go for it,
We've heard stories about
the brick road of the dead forever,
What better time to explore it for ourselves
than on this night of all nights, Mischief Night,
- You're right, Lar,
What are we afraid of?
You're a zombie, for crying out loud,
and I'm a mummy,
We're two of the most terrifying creatures
to ever stalk the shadows,
Who's gonna mess with us?
(owl hooting)
What was that?
It sounded like a raptor,
Watch the sky!
If its talons get tangled in my bandages,
I'm a goner,
- Calm down, Fred, calm down,
It was just Hootie, he lives here,
He's our friend, remember?
- Oh,
Right,
I knew that,
I was just testing you,
Making sure you're up for this,
- Alright Fred,
Let's go get my walking shoes,
and tighten up your bandages,
We're gonna follow the brick road of the dead,
wherever it leads,
(light suspenseful music)
(bird cawing)
(water dripping)
- Selma, Selma,
Selma,
There you are,
I have news,
- Pins!
I thought I told you never
to disturb me in the castle,
Especially when I'm casting spells,
and conjuring wraiths,
- I know, I know,
but it's important, Selma,
You'll wanna hear this,
- Oh?
Important,
Like the time you interrupted my seance
to tell me you messed up your pumpkin carving?
- No, not like that,
Although that was a bummer,
I was going for a totally creepy Boogeyman vibe, and--
- You're wasting my time, Pins,
Out with it,
What brings you to my castle this late,
and on Mischief Night no less,
I should be 13 spells deep by now,
enjoying a whirlwind of ghosts,
specters, and demons,
filling the skies overhead,
like a majestic, supernatural tornado,
that only the wicked witch of the dead can summon,
- You are amazingly talented, Selma,
The undisputed wicked witch of the dead,
I'm forever in your command,
- Yes, that's because I put you
under a spell that makes you beholden to me,
And me alone,
Forever and ever,
- Right, but I mean, I'm okay with it,
is what I'm saying,
Every sidekick needs a master,
and I'm proud to call you mine,
- Cut to the chase, Pins,
My feet are falling asleep,
- My sixth sense was tingling like mad,
so I opened my third eye,
and saw something I think you'll find interesting,
Two friends from Halloween World
have set out on the brick road of the dead,
- Oh, they have, have they?
And what do these fiends hope to find out there?
- They've gone in search of Goul, Selma,
They want to confer with none another
than the magical sage tree,
- Goul?
So it's power they seek, eh?
Even after my expressed commands
to all in Halloween World
never to travel the brick road of the dead?
Less they incur my wrath?
- Even still, they persist,
Shall I intercept them,
and make them realize the severity of their error?
Make them rue the day they were born?
I mean, they died?
- No, Pins, No,
Leave them be,
We'll wait and watch,
I believe those fiends will frighten easily,
and flee back to their miserable Halloween
huts before dawn,
with a tale of terror they'll tell their grandchildren,
Despite their fleeting bravery,
I know they are spineless,
They shan't get far,
- As you wish, Selma,
- Nay, as I command, Pins,
Now, leave me,
I've many spirits to conjure
before the morning light,
Tonight shall be a Mischief Night for the ages,
(cackling)
(bird cawing) (owls hooting
- Ah, just think of it, Fred, (gentle instrumental music)
Both of us, alive and kicking,
No longer members of the undead,
What a trip that would be,
- Yeah, it would be,
Do you think Halloween World
would still accept us as one of its own?
- Hm, I don't know,
But I guess we wouldn't be,
if both you and I had blood
coursing through our veins,
breath filling our lungs,
twinkles in our eyes, pep in our step,
and hearts beating with life,
We'd probably have to move out,
- Isn't that a kicker,
If we get everything we ever wanted,
and as a result, lose everything we have,
- Just one of the endless conundrums
that come with being alive, Fred,
- It's still better than being dusty all the time,
Oh, I'd love to take a bath,
A long bath,
By candlelight,
Oh, I'd soak for hours,
Maybe even days,
- And, I can actually order
from a restaurant menu,
I've always been curious about
chicken pot pies and milkshakes,
Ah, I'd love to try a big strawberry milkshake,
- Me too,
And I could drink a whole one down,
without sprouting leaks from my sides,
Such a mess,
And I could try face cream,
(laughing)
Heck, you know, after 2,000 years,
I might need it a little,
Hey, I wonder if I'm handsome,
What if I look better with these bandages on,
and I should leave well enough alone?
Oh, the joke sure would be on me, then, oh,
- Nah, don't think like that, Fred,
You've been my best friend
for as long as I can remember,
You're caring, and smart, and generous,
and fun to be around,
It doesn't matter what you look like
under the bandages,
You'll always be my main mummy,
- Oh,
Thanks buddy,
And just so you know, (bright instrumental music)
I'd never hold it against you
if you decided to order a side of warm brains
with your pot pie,
- Thanks, Fred,
But I don't think the living serve warm brains,
It's kind of a faux pas,
I think we ought to find Goul before sunrise,
If there's black magic at play,
he might just be a regular old tree in the daytime,
- Demon speed, friends,
You're gonna need it,
- Selma, my sixth sense is blowing up,
My pins are tingling,
Those friends from Halloween World
haven't turned back in terror,
In fact, they're moving even faster than we thought,
- Is that so?
Exactly how fast are they moving, Pins?
- Lightning fast,
For two non-flying creatures,
they're covering incredible ground,
No one in recent memory's been
as sure-footed on the brick road of the dead as these two,
- How charming,
Unfortunately for them, I don't do charms,
Why don't I call in a little favor,
and alter their track from charmed to cursed?
- Sweet,
I love it when you throw curses, Selma,
- You and everybody else, Pins,
Stand back while I awaken
my magic vortex mirror,
Merwin,
- Merwin?
Ooh, this is gonna be bad,
In a good way,
- Sh, quiet,
(clearing throat)
From the darkest depths for souls to take,
obey me now, mirror awake,
- [Pins] Whoa, (whooshing)
- Greetings, Merwin,
So nice to see you again,
Merwin, two friends from a far away land
dare defy my will,
To deter their advance,
I seek an ally of the night,
Connect me to our old friend,
Count Dracula,
(cackling)
Good evening, Count,
Dashing as ever, I see,
- Ah, my sweet Selma,
So fair, so frightful,
(Selma cackling)
- You're still a charmer, Dracula,
We must get together sometime,
and enjoy each other's company,
Over some toad saliva, perhaps,
- Indeed, but remember,
I never drink,
toad saliva,
- How could I forget?
Silly of me, Dracula,
I have a little problem,
Two of them, actually,
And I was wondering if you might like
to have a little fun this Mischief Night,
and help rid me of them,
- But of course, Selma,
Ask and you shall receive,
Anything for the wanted wicked witch of the dead,
- Wow, talk about connections,
- Count, there are two pesky pedestrians
from Halloween World making their way
along the brick road of the dead,
which just so happens to run
right by your mansion, correct?
- That is correct,
Would you like me to, (light instrumental music)
bring these pedestrians in
for a little nightcap?
- Yes, I think that would be lovely, Count,
And who knows, they may even want to stay there forever,
(cackling)
- I catch your drift, witchy-poo dear,
And don't worry,
I'll describe the fate those Halloweeners meet
when we next speak,
- I look forward to it, Dracula,
Until then, ciao,
- Ciao, sweet Selma, (whooshing)
- Oh my gosh, that was Dracula,
Like, the Count Dracula,
You never told me you knew Dracula, Selma,
- Yes, Pins,
He and I go back centuries,
Once upon a time,
we terrorized the Transylvania countryside,
side by side,
What a delightful blood bath it was,
- I love this job,
(light instrumental music)
- Larry, I've been thinking,
What if this tree isn't friendly?
And what if it doesn't want to grant our wishes,
like Boo said it would?
- Hm, I hadn't even thought of that, Fred,
I suppose it's a possibility,
It's not like Goul makes himself readily accessible,
- Right,
What do we do if the tree decides it dislikes us,
and instead of granting our wishes,
it puts on an evil curse on our heads?
And we're doomed to walk the Earth
as a mummy and a zombie, forever,
- [Larry] I think you're being a bit fatalistic,
- Look, I've been living with this mummy's curse
for 2,000 years, Lar,
2,000 years,
I don't need to do anything to make it worse,
- Are you saying you want to turn back?
- I'm thinking about it,
It's getting darker out here,
Colder, and creepier,
- Since when has dark and creepy bothered us?
- Well, you have a point,
(shivering)
But the cold sucks,
Stiffens my joints and limbs right up,
And I don't need to be any more rigid
than I already am,
- Just buck up and hang in there, Fred,
If we just stick together,
I think everything will work out for the best,
- Well I'll remember that, Lar,
Because this place is ultra creep-tastic,
(light instrumental music) (howling)
- Ah, listen to them,
Children of the night,
What music they make,
- Children?
I don't know about you,
but that sounded like a wolf to me,
- Indeed, weary travelers,
There are predators in these woods,
Why don't you two come inside,
kick off your shoes and relax,
stretch out, lay your heads back,
expose your necks,
- Thanks for the offer, mister,
- Call me Count,
Count Dracula, (wolf howling)
- Yikes, he's a vampire,
And not just a vampire,
the king of all vampires,
Let's go, Larry,
Let's get out of here,
- Hold on, Fred,
Sure, he's got a bad reputation,
but you can't believe everything you hear,
He seems friendly enough,
Maybe he'll tell us how close we are
to finding Goul,
- Or maybe he'll take a bite out of our necks,
And I'm dry as the grave, Lar,
I don't even wanna think about
how mad Dracula will be if he bites me,
and gets a mouthful of dust,
Let's go,
- Let me handle this,
Count Dracula, maybe you can help us?
- Oh boy,
- Help you?
With what?
- We're looking for a tree called Goul,
Could you please tell us if we're headed
in the right direction?
We'd sure hate to get lost out here,
on Mischief Night, no less,
- Yes, that would be unfortunate,
Why don't you come inside my mansion,
and we'll take a look at a map,
- No, no, no,
- That's mighty nice of you, Count,
but I'm afraid Goul won't appear on any maps,
We heard this tree moves around,
- Moves around?
But trees don't move around,
You know what moves around?
Tree monsters,
- [Larry And Fred] Monsters?
- Yes, monsters,
The tree you seek is evil,
and not to be trifled with,
Besides that, Goul hasn't granted a wish
since the days of horses and carriages,
Ah, those were the days,
Everyone so rosy, so plump,
Ah, I miss that,
- So you do know Goul?
- I know all things, traveler,
and see all things,
Like that steady pulse in your neck,
going thump, thump, thump thump, thump,
- For Heaven's sake, Lar, let's get out of here,
- It's okay, Fred, (chuckling)
I don't have a pulse,
- Come closer,
Let me get to know you better,
- You'll be sorely disappointed, Count,
Trust us, (chuckling)
- Thanks for talking with us, Count,
We'll be on our way now,
but it was sure nice meeting you,
- Leaving so soon?
But you just got here,
- And we have to run, literally,
Go, Larry, go, (light suspenseful music)
- Be careful, travelers,
Some predators bite,
Ah, I'm getting too old for this,
- Oh mummy, that was a close call back there,
Did you see the Count's eyes?
Thought he was gonna pounce on you,
and drain you like a sippy cup,
- Thanks for that visual,
I wonder if Dracula was telling the truth,
- About watching our neck pulses?
- No, about Goul not granting wishes anymore,
It'd be a real shame to come all this way
only to have to go all the way back empty-handed,
Or worse, we could get lost,
and wander out here forever,
- Well, after meeting Count Dracula,
I'm starting to think we might not
want to be human out here, Lar,
Maybe the only way we can survive a trip like this
is if we're like we are,
Already dead,
- Don't think like that, Fred,
We'll never know what could've been
if we don't at least give this a shot,
Besides, who do you believe more?
Boo the Boogeyman, or Count Dracula the vampire?
- I'm not sure either of them can be trusted,
to tell you the truth,
Why can't we just have normal friends,
like other folks?
- Because we live in Halloween World, Fred,
The rules of the regular world do not apply,
Never have, never will,
But, maybe after we find that tree
and get our wishes,
we can be regular folks, too,
And things will be better than ever,
- I sure hope you're right,
- We won't know 'til we find Goul,
Now come on, we're wasting time,
- Mirror, mirror, eye in the sky,
who is the fairest witch that flies?
(whooshing)
Oh Dracula, I didn't expect to see you again so soon,
Tell me the good news,
- Good news?
I'm afraid I have none, Selma,
Those wayward travelers got by me,
- They got, they got by you?
How?
- I'm not as young and spry as I once was,
I'm afar from the savage shape-shifting vampire
I was when we terrorized those
Transylvanian villages together,
- Now you tell me,
where did they go, Count?
- Ah, I don't know,
They ran off,
- And you didn't even give chase?
- No, my nights of chasing are long behind me,
The last time I tried it,
I stubbed my toe badly on a rock,
So, I attempted to transform into a bat and fly,
only to discover my powers have greatly waned,
Instead, I turned into a black billed cuckoo,
It was a bad night,
- But, but, I thought I could count on you,
Of all creatures, Count,
- In my younger days,
I could have easily talked those fools
into my mansion, like flies to the spider,
But now my legend precedes me,
Everyone's on guard,
They've seen too many movies, read too many books,
My story has horrified generations,
and I don't even get royalties,
- Nobody ever said being undead was fair, Count,
- Tell me about it,
I still pay utilities on my mansion,
Do you know how much my air conditioning
bill is every month?
It costs a fortune to keep this place
as cold as the crypt,
Before long, I may have to get a real job,
- Boohoo,
Try tombstone salesman,
It's right up your alley,
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have two Halloween World misfits to stop,
- Allow me to make it up to you, Selma,
I can book us some time at Build-A-Broom in the mall,
It's a wonderful bonding experience,
(whooshing)
- Ugh, sentimental vampires suck,
- I'm the one who spots
what those Halloween clowns are trying to do,
but Dracula is the one who gets summoned to stop them,
Ah, he'll probably get the credit
when all's said and done, too,
(sighing)
If only I were a feared and mighty creature
like Count Dracula,
with a reputation that preceded me,
and a legion of victims to prove my dark powers to the world,
- Don't beat yourself up over it, kid,
- Huh?
Boo, I thought I was alone,
- Yeah, I sneak up on people,
Can't help it,
Hope you don't mind,
I overheard you talking to yourself,
- Oh, I don't care,
I talk to myself because Selma
doesn't want to hear about my trivial problems,
- Cut yourself some slack, pal,
We can't all be a world-famous vampire,
Sometimes, we just gotta take what we're given,
and make the most of it,
- That's easy for you to say,
You're the Boogeyman,
You scare everybody, from the minute they're born,
to the moment they draw their last breath,
- Yeah, (giggling)
It's pretty cool,
- I don't get to be cool,
I'm just a glorified teddy bear,
If not for Selma,
I'd probably be stuck in the bottom
of some brat's toy box for eternity,
- Hey, come on now, Pins,
A teddy bear could do a lot worse
than palling around with the wicked witch of the dead,
- I know, I know,
I just wish I could be of more sinister value to her,
My sixth sense detected those troublemakers
on the brick road of the dead,
but Selma's using her magic mirror to stop them,
I'd love to do it myself,
but she doesn't even think of asking me,
- Why don't you tell her you want to help?
Listen, I know those two,
They live on my block, for howling out loud,
They'll be lucky if they find their way back home,
Much less find Goul, the evil sage tree,
They were bumming out about their lot in life,
Like you are now,
So I told 'em the story of Goul just to give 'em some hope,
I don't know what I was thinking,
I didn't think they'd take me seriously,
But off they went,
- So Larry and Fred aren't seeking out Goul
to ask for the supernatural power
to attack Selma?
- No, those idiots don't even know who Selma is,
They just don't want to be Halloween World
creeps no more,
They wanna fit in some place,
And not have to wait for one night a year
to go out and have fun,
- Wow, I didn't know we had so much in common,
- Listen, don't tell no one I told you that, though,
Especially Selma, you hear?
Now if you'll excuse me,
I gotta go see the old lady,
She also summoned me to help stop Larry and Fred,
- You too?
Ah, I don't believe this,
I'm completely useless around here,
I may as well be a dog toy,
(light suspenseful music) (distant howling)
- Wow, look at this place, Fred,
Ah, I wonder who lives here,
- Hopefully not the Wolf Man,
I don't know if I can cope
with any more super monsters tonight,
- Somehow, I doubt the Wolf Man
lives in a well kept pumpkin house
along the brick road of the dead,
- Hey, you never know,
Did you get a load of Dracula's mansion digs back there?
I thought that guy lived in a crumbling castle,
- Hey guys, I'm Bighead,
and this is my place you're talking about,
- Oh, see Fred?
It's nice to meet you, Bighead,
My name's Larry, and this is my buddy Fred,
- Nice to meet you,
Boy, I don't see many travelers out here,
It's like everybody's scared or something,
What are you two doing all the way out here
on the brick road of the dead?
- We're looking for somebody,
- Oh yes?
Who?
Maybe I can help,
- A tree called Goul,
- Goul,
Wow, I haven't heard that name in forever,
Goul's still around?
- Somewhere,
- Gosh,
I wish I'd known that,
- How come?
- Because, I'd go find him,
and wish for a new head on my shoulders,
- [Fred And Larry] A new head?
- Yep,
A new head,
Mine's been rotting for quite some time now,
And I need a replacement,
We don't see very much sunlight out here, you know,
Pumpkins tend to rot in the dewy night air,
- That's why we're looking for Goul too, Bighead,
To make a wish,
- Is it true what they say?
That Goul grants wishes on one night of the hear?
- On Mischief Night, tonight,
- Oh, it's true, alright,
I've seen it happen with my own two eyes,
Well, it was a different set of eyes, actually,
A different head, (chuckling)
But you get the idea,
Same me,
- Got ya,
Bighead, if you want, you're welcome to join us,
- Yeah,
There's strength in numbers,
And after our run-in with Dracula,
we could use all the strength we can muster,
(light music) (distant howling)
(wind howling) (bird cawing)
- Merwin, awaken,
(whooshing)
Connect me to a friend who can halt
two trespassers in their tracks at once,
I don't care who,
so long as they're ready to intimidate and terrify,
(whooshing)
Hello, Frankie,
- Friend?
- It's me, Frankie,
Selma, the wicked witch of the dead,
- Ah, hey Selma,
Say, I'm still waiting for that shipment
of candy corn you promised me,
for running those vampire bats out of our area,
Any word on that?
- Oh, that,
Your candy corn was regrettably lost in transit,
It's so hard to find a reliable
delivery company these days,
Especially the ones that service the brick road of the dead,
I'll have the candy re-sent, Frankie,
In the meantime, I have another job for you,
(rain pattering)
- So, everybody in this whole land
is more valuable to the wicked witch of the dead than I am,
and I'm the loyal one by her side, from dusk 'til dawn,
I really need to examine my priorities,
But, those knuckleheads strutting down
the brick road of the dead like they own it,
The impudence,
Don't they know the road belongs to Selma?
I'll strike out on my own,
and find those goofs myself,
That'll show Selma what I'm made of,
Things are gonna change around here,
Wrap it up, mummy,
Chew on this, zombie,
Pins is coming for you both,
(light instrumental music)
- Ew,
What's that smell?
Be careful, you guys,
Don't step in something gross,
- I'm sorry, you guys,
I think that's me you smell,
- You?
Oh,
Your rotting head,
- Yeah,
It's been going bad slowly for a while,
Now all this exercise I'm getting,
combined with the humidity,
I'm afraid this is only speeding the process up,
- It's okay, Bighead,
We understand,
Don't sweat it,
Wrong choice of words,
(laughing)
Listen, I'm sure we'll find Goul before too long,
And you can wish for a fresh pumpkin head,
- And once that tree gets a whiff of you,
it'd be crazy not to grant that wish,
- Right?
And the smell's not all that bad, honestly,
- It's not?
- [Fred] It's not?
- No, it's kinda fruity,
Sort of pleasant, (clearing throat)
Once you get used to it,
(Fred hesitating)
- Are we smelling the same thing here, Lar?
- It's okay, guys,
You don't have to try and make me feel better,
- Halt,
Who goes bump in my night?
(light suspenseful music)
What have we here?
The Three Dusk-eteers,
Isn't it past your bedtimes, wanderers?
- We didn't mean to bother you, sir,
We're just passing through,
- On our way to an important meeting,
- An important meeting?
Who'd meet with a motley crew like you?
- We're on our way to see a tree named Goul,
- Goul?
- Yeah, you know him?
- I know Goul well enough to know
he wouldn't want to waste his time
on rabble like you three,
- What does rabble mean?
Is that good?
- No, it isn't,
We're sorry to hear that, sir,
But since we're here,
might you be able to tell us
how close we are to finding Goul?
- I might,
- Sweet,
- But I won't,
- Oh,
- And if you wimpy wayfarers don't get off my lawn,
I'll be forced to tear you all limb from limb,
- Oh no,
Don't do that, big guy,
We have enough problems already,
- I can see that,
Your Mischief Night mask looks ridiculous,
- My mask?
It's not a ma-- - Look sir,
We appreciate that it's late,
and you live here,
and you're not particularly friendly,
- Larry, this guy's already a bear,
Let's not poke him,
- I've dealt with grumps like this before, Bighead,
You just have to give 'em a taste of their own medicine,
But we certainly don't deserve
you getting in our faces, and giving us grief,
So back off, you big lug,
And we'll be on our way,
Got it?
- You don't have to get all mean,
- Oh, was I too mean?
- Meh, I wouldn't say mean,
A little harsh, maybe,
- I'm sorry, monster sir,
It's just that we're all a little tense,
It's been a long night already,
and we have no idea how much longer we're in for,
We've never ventured this far from home before,
- I know, I came out here to scare you three
into turning back,
Although I thought there were only two of you,
Anyway, I'd give it the old college try,
but it's time to face the facts,
I'm just no good at scaring folks,
I'm not a very good monster,
- Oh, don't get down on yourself,
Sure there's somebody out there
who's absolutely petrified of you,
- You think so?
- Totally,
I mean, you're huge,
and you look like you could really
wreak some havoc if you wanted to,
(chuckling)
- I really could tear you guys limb from limb,
- Hey, easy,
Easy,
- We believe you,
But sir, if you don't mind me asking,
how did you know two of us were coming by tonight?
- Selma told me,
- Selma?
Who's Selma?
- She's the wicked witch of the dead,
This is her road you're traveling on,
At least she sees it is,
And she wants to make you guys disappear,
- Selma the witch is watching us?
I knew I should've stayed home
and watched Pumpkin Patch Slip and Move,
- But, how does she know about us?
Never heard of her,
- Selma knows everything,
She has eyes in the back of her head,
and more ears than you can count,
- Sounds ugly,
- Does she have others on the lookout for us, too?
- That I don't know,
But I'd proceed with caution if I were you guys,
Hey, what's that delicious smell?
You guys have candy?
- Candy?
- He's after Bighead's rotten pumpkin,
- It's not candy you smell, sir,
It's pumpkin seeds,
- Salted pumpkin seeds?
- Nah, they're pretty old,
We need to throw 'em away,
- You really know how to make a guy feel special, Fred,
(slurping)
- I'm making sure this big lug
doesn't eat your head in one bite,
- Yikes,
- Sir, about Goul,
Can you tell us if we're close?
- It's hard to say,
Goul's a tricky tree,
He moves around,
- So we hear,
- Last I saw him,
he was out by the bends in the road,
About half a monster mile on,
Keep your eyes open when it starts getting zig-zaggy,
- What does Goul look like?
- You know, I'm not sure,
He's never stuck his head out of that old tree and said hi,
But you can't miss him,
- We can't?
How's that?
- Because he'll spot you before you spot him,
(swallowing nervously)
- Great, just what we need,
More creepers watching us,
- Thank you, sir,
And thanks for not tearing us limb from limb,
- Don't mention it,
Maybe next time,
(wolf howling)
- Huh, what was that? (owl hooting)
Blast, be gone, scary creature,
Leave me alone, (howling)
Yikes, that was definitely a ghost,
I'm surrounded,
If I'm not careful, it'll be curtains for me,
Oh, what was I thinking?
If Selma has to come rescue me from my own mission,
I'll be the laughing stock forever,
I never should've come out here, That was stupid,
Stupid stupid stupid,
(animal growling)
(Pins yelping)
- Oh, Pins,
Pins,
Bring me my cauldron,
I want to conjure more malicious specters
and turn them loose on tonight's Mischief Night festivities,
We can't have too many people enjoying themselves
now can we?
There must be adequate terror and dread
in the streets,
Pins,
Pins?
Pins,
Can you hear me?
Oh where are you, Pins?
Pins?
Merwin, show me Pins at once,
(whooshing)
What?
What is this fresh madness?
Pins on the brick road of the dead?
I didn't grant him permission to leave the castle,
- [Merwin] Mm hmm,
- He what?
That silly little voodoo doll,
What does he intend to do,
get under foot and trip up those searchers
before they can find the tree?
Unbelievable,
With any luck, he's already smashed
that mummy and zombie to bits,
(whooshing)
Frankie, tell me you annihilated those two
fiendish rubes atop the very bricks
on which they stood,
- First off,
It's not two rubes, it's three,
Secondly, no, Selma,
I let them go,
- What?
Three?
How dare they,
As for you, Frankie,
I told you to,
- I know, I know,
But try as I might,
I'm just not a good monster,
- Not a good,
I don't believe I'm hearing this,
How can you not be a good monster, Frankie?
You're the most hideous looking creature I know,
A hulking mass of horror,
A lurching lug of terror,
With a face only a mad scientist could love,
And then maybe,
- Thanks Selma, I think,
- Don't thank me,
You had one job, Frankie, one job,
- I know, and I blew it,
I'm so sorry, Selma,
I don't deserve to be called a monster,
- No, Frankie,
After tonight's blunder, you don't,
Lucky for me, I have a secret weapon,
and this secret weapon is all I'll need
to crush those traveling fools, once and for all,
(laughing)
- Can I go now?
I want to make the Mischief Night
Big and Tall Party,
- Goodbye, and good riddance,
(light instrumental music)
(distant howling)
- Hey look, the road starts winding up ahead,
I think this is what the big monster
was talking about,
We might be getting closer to Goul,
(swallowing nervously)
- Now that we're getting closer,
I'm getting more nervous, Lar,
What if it doesn't go like we planned?
Oh, what if Goul hates us?
What if he hits us with a lightning bolt curse,
and turns us all into cockroaches?
- Cockroaches, Fred, really?
- Really,
Then we'd be even worse off than we are now,
And I go from a fine young man
to a decrepit mummy,
to a creepy crawling vermin,
It's not a good life trajectory,
It's not a good death trajectory, either,
- Are you kidding me right now?
Why would Goul even care
to want to turn us into insects?
- I don't know,
But at least up 'til now,
I've had the benefit of being scary to some folks,
People think mummies can curse you,
I mean, we both know I wouldn't hurt a fly,
But others don't know that,
Sometimes a snarl and a glare
is all it takes to send them
running for the hills,
But if I became a cockroach,
they might just step on me, splat,
Or set traps, so many traps,
There will be traps everywhere,
Roach motels,
Where roaches check in,
but they don't check out,
- I give up,
- Does his brain always go into overdrive like this?
- Pretty much,
Fred's a neurotic mess, really,
(sighing)
But he's my best friend,
And I care about him,
- That's so nice,
You're really lucky to have a BFF like Larry, Fred,
I can't even remember the last friend I made,
- Well, it was pretty recent, I can tell you that,
We're your friends, Bighead,
- That's right,
You can count on us, Bighead,
And Larry, you can count on me,
- I just want you to be happy, Fred,
I don't like seeing you so down on yourself,
2,000 years ago, you were a great young man,
and you're a great mummy now,
and you know what?
If things don't go our way,
and Goul turns us into a bunch
of skittering cockroaches,
you'll be a great cockroach, too,
Because it's what's inside that counts,
And you've got a good heart and a kind soul,
- Golly,
This is touching,
I had no idea when I joined you guys
that this trip could be a tearjerker,
I just, (weeping)
I need a second to collect myself,
(light ominous music)
- Hey, look, up ahead,
- Is it Goul?
- Who else could possibly
be lurking out here at this time of night?
- Your worst nightmare in the flesh, sort of,
(gasping)
- It's him,
Oh, I told you he'd be mad,
- No, that's not Goul,
Look,
- Prepare to meet your makers,
whoever they are,
- Yikes, I don't even know who made me,
What would I say?
What would we do?
What if we didn't click?
Oh no, I couldn't bear the rejection,
- Not so fast, you,
Identify yourself, or get out of our way,
- Easy, Lar,
That bonehead looks dangerous,
- My name's Rattles,
and I've seen my share of battles,
I fight until they're done,
and I win every one,
- Oh, he's like some kind of fledgling rapper, or something,
- I have skills you can only dream of, dust cloth,
- Dust cloth?
I'll have you know I'm a mummy,
A 2,000 year old one,
I've given my share of shocks and scares,
So punks like you had best beware,
- Come on, you guys,
Look at this joker,
He's nothing but a bag of bones,
And there's three of us,
Let's take him,
- Take me?
Take me?
Bring it on, vagabonds,
Hiya,
- Ooh, that bag of bones knows Kung Fu,
Run! (suspenseful music)
(rocks skidding)
- Whoa, watch out, you guys,
We almost ran right over this little kid,
- What? (light instrumental music)
Who are you calling a little kid, melon head?
- Melon?
No, it's a pumpkin, silly,
I know it's rotting and all,
but it doesn't look that bad,
- The mirror would beg to differ, scarecrow,
- We don't mean any harm, little buddy,
Say, what are you doing out here all by yourself?
Tonight's Mischief Night,
It's not safe,
- I'm not your little buddy, you wannabe invisible man,
I'll have you know my name's Pins,
and I'm a powerful and feared sorcerer,
- Oh,
- Hm,
- Sorcerers sure look different these days,
- Time to pay the toll, travelers,
I'm about to put an end to your little charade,
- Charades?
No, we're not playing charades, little guy,
We always look like this,
- Yeah, we're from Halloween World,
on a very important mission,
- Duh, I know that,
I could see you jerks
as soon as you began your journey,
with the use of my mighty sixth sense,
- Get out,
- No way,
- Way,
And if you clowns know what's good for you,
you'll turn back right now,
- Or what?
You gonna put a curse on us?
- Oh,
- How cute,
- Cute?
Did you just call me cute?
Why you,
- Listen, Pins,
There's one seriously scary skeleton out there,
and he's hot on our heels,
- We should all stick together,
and get out of here as fast as we can,
- Aha,
Thought you could escape me that easily, eh?
No dice, suckers,
- Rattles,
What's up, buddy?
(Bighead gasping)
- They know each other,
- Pins, my man,
How you been?
- Prickly, you?
- You know me,
Just taking care of some light work
for the lady of the castle,
- Me too,
- I think they're talking about us,
- You mean, one of you is the lady of the castle?
- No, we're the light work,
- Oh,
- Hey, let me finish off these fools,
then we can go catch some trick-or-treating,
- Okay,
I love holding people up for more candy
than they want to give,
- So do I,
I let them give me there,
oh, what a cool costume spiel,
then I'm like, is that all you got?
Their faces are priceless,
(laughing)
- I'll bet,
Let's dump these dopes
and rake those candy merchants over the coals,
- I'm in,
- Listen fellas, there's two of them,
and I'm like, 85% dust particles,
So that's pretty much even odds,
- If worst comes to worst,
I can throw my head at them,
- Rotten pumpkin bomb, great idea,
- Time's wasting,
How do you wanna nix these three nitwits, Rattles?
- Hm,
Let's make it slow and agonizing,
Let's show 'em how we roll
with a little bayou black magic ritual,
- Nice,
Hit it,
- Uh oh,
Hit what?
What do we do, you guys?
- [All Three] Run!
- Yeah, how about now?
Boo yeah,
- Boom, there it is,
Where you at now, monsters?
- What what what? (light music)
Hey, if we do this long enough,
we can summon a subterranean mega mole,
- A subterranean mega mole?
That'll scare the wits out of those three,
- What wits?
Look at 'em go,
- I bet they don't stop running 'til they're home,
Keep dancing,
I wanna meet a mega mole,
- You asked for it, Pins,
Keep pace with me, juju doe,
Uh uh, work it, work it,
- I don't believe what I'm seeing,
If you want a thing done right,
you've got to do it yourself,
That's enough, Merwin,
(whooshing)
Merwin, make way,
I'm coming through,
(whooshing)
(light instrumental music) (feet pattering)
- Where are they going?
Did we lose 'em?
(panting)
- I don't know,
I don't see them,
I think we got away,
- Hey, look at this place,
Somebody lives here,
- It's a farm,
A big one,
- I hope they're friendly,
I've had it up to here
with monsters giving us problems,
- Tell me about it,
Maybe we should go knock on the door,
- Or maybe we should keep going,
Might be a big old meanie in there,
Or a whole family of meanies,
- Fred's right,
There's no telling who lives here,
- But you live out here, Bighead,
And you're a nice guy,
Maybe they can help us find Goul,
- Yes,
Or maybe they're friends with those other two,
and they'll call 'em in and corner us,
It's not worth the risk,
- No risk, no reward,
- That's a good point too, Lar,
- Listen, you guys,
My head might be rotten,
but I have every intention of keeping it on
as long as possible, okay?
If it comes off,
I want a shiny, plump new one to replace it immediately,
- I understand, Bighead,
But, think about it,
What better place to pick out
a brand new pumpkin head than a pumpkin farm,
- Oh,
(chuckling)
I get it,
I wonder if they'll let us pick out their crops,
- Only one way to find out,
(light mystery music) (birds chirping)
(bell dinging)
- Selma, what a surprise,
I've never seen you on the brick road of the dead,
Much less at my humble abode,
- I'd hardly call this place humble, Count,
It's rather befitting a bloodsucker of your stature,
- Why, thank you,
Might I add, you are my favorite wicked witch
with which to socialize,
- That's quite a tongue twister, Count,
Try saying it three times fast,
- Alright,
My favorite wicked witch with which to socialize,
My favorite wicked witch which which,
oh you got me,
It is a tongue twister,
Ow, I think I nicked my tongue
with a fang, actually,
- Count, I'm here tonight
because circumstances necessitate
my direct involvement,
Every creature in my employ
seems to be letting me down,
- My apologies again, Selma,
I have no excuse,
other than my own lazy exhaustion,
I need to remember what it was like
scouring the Transylvania hillsides,
seeking victims like the owl does mice,
- Whatever works for you, mister,
- Would you care to join me in a little nightcap?
Give our reflexes a workout,
Sharpen our instincts,
We could corner a sheep
to see which one of us frightens
into running away first,
- There you go with the tongue twisters again,
- Well I don't want you to bite yours clean off,
So we'll say, some other time,
- Very well,
Until we meet again, my sweet Selma,
- No one else calls me sweet but you, Count,
You sure know how to charm a witch,
T-T-F-N,
- T-T-F-N?
- Ta ta for now,
- Ooh,
Ah, what a witch,
(light instrumental music) (feet pattering)
(rocks sliding)
- You there,
(speaking in foreign language)
Why are you gathering on my farmland?
What's the meaning of this, banditos?
- Oh, we're just passion through, Senor,
- Senor?
Why so formal?
Call me Senor Tobias,
- Okay, Senor Tobias,
Maybe you can help us,
We're looking for a tree,
- A tree?
You three are tree trimmers?
Why didn't you say something?
Where are your tools?
And where's your truck?
- No, we,,,
- Do you know what?
Doesn't matter,
I want you boys to come take a look
at this unruly elm out back,
If you can pull her down,
I'd be obliged,
Her branches block all my moonlight,
- We appreciate the offer, Senor Tobias,
but we're not groundskeepers,
- You're not?
Well what are you then?
Wait, don't tell me,
You're traveling salesmen?
- No, we're not salesmen either, Senor,
- But we are travelers, (chuckling)
- Good,
I like an honest pilgrim,
Salesmen, though, I cannot stand,
If their lips are moving, they're selling,
- Thanks for the tips,
- Now listen, somebody,
and I don't care who,
needs to spell this out for me,
You say you're looking for a tree,
But you're not yard workers,
What in tarnation is that about?
You some kind of stump huggers or something?
- We're looking for the legendary
magical tree called Goul,
Do you know anything about it, Senor?
- Goul, you say,
(chuckling)
There's no tree around here called Goul, muchachos,
- Oh,
- What, no tree called Goul?
You gotta be kidding me,
We came all this way,
risked our necks with Dracula,
risked our backs with Frankie,
risked our lives with Rattles,
and who even know what we risked
with that tiny little thingy named Pins,
- He's so cute,
- Totally cute,
- All for nothing,
I don't believe this,
I think I'm gonna cry,
Oh, I'm mostly dust,
so I don't know how in the world
I'll generate tears,
(weeping)
But I think I'm gonna cry,
- Don't fall to pieces, Fred,
Just because Senor Tobias doesn't know,
doesn't mean Goul's not here,
Somewhere,
- Right,
Well we'll come up with a plan B,
- Hold on a second,
(speaking in foreign language)
What I said was,
I didn't know any tree called Goul,
But a tree stump called Goul,
I can point you to it lickety-split, okay?
(crickets chirping) (light suspenseful music)
- This is it, you guys,
This is exactly where Senor Tobias
told us to look,
- Yeah, it is,
But these all look like every other tree
we passed on the way,
I don't see Goul anywhere,
(gasping)
- No, look,
There he is,
That's gotta be him, that's Goul,
- Excuse us,
Goul?
- Yes?
(gasping)
- Get out,
It is him,
Oh, we did it,
We found Goul,
- [Goul] Who dares disturb my slumber?
- Uh oh,
He's not happy to see us,
- He's probably just surprised is all,
I mean, how many folks do you think
actually make the trek to find him?
- I don't know anybody else who'd be
plum crazy enough to do what we're doing,
- You guys have a point there,
Should we hurry up and make our wishes
so we can leave him be?
- Well, that seems rude,
How would you like it if a bunch of strange monsters
just showed up at your doorstep
in the middle of the night, asking for favors?
- They did,
- Oh, yeah,
- Hm, I guess you're right,
How did you like that?
- Just fine, since I was invited along,
If you'd have bugged me and took off,
I wouldn't be too happy at all,
- Well, we're not gonna do that, then,
Follow my lead,
- Last time I followed Larry's lead,
we found ourselves at the bottom of a pendulum pit,
- Ah, hi Goul,
I'm Larry, and these are my buddies,
Fred and Bighead,
We're from the town of Halloween World,
And we were just taking a little Mischief Night stroll,
when we happened to hear about you,
- You're talking too much,
Cut to the chase,
- I know what I'm doing, Fred,
- Okay okay,
I'm just saying, wasting time's as bad
as being too abrupt,
- He's right, Larry,
- Will you both please let me handle this?
I know what I'm doing, I got this,
(sighing)
(chuckling)
Pleasant weather we're having tonight, huh?
(sniffing)
- [Goul] What's that awful smell?
(bright instrumental music)
- [Both] Selma,
- Well well well,
Fancy meeting you here, Pins,
- I couldn't stand seeing you so distraught, Selma,
I wanted to chip in and do my part,
- How noble of you,
Working hard, are we?
- Hot on their trail,
- Hm,
Have them pinpointed, do you?
- Ha, pinpointed,
I see what you did there,
- Shush, Rattles,
I'm speaking with Selma,
As a matter of fact,
we do have their location pinpointed,
We were closing in on their sorry carcasses
just as we ran into you,
- So, the fact that you haven't yet caught them
has nothing to do with that little
dancing interlude from earlier?
- Oh, (chuckling nervously)
You saw that?
- I can see everything, Pins,
You know that,
- Oh, don't blame Pins, Selma,
It was my idea,
I thought we could conjure
a subterranean mega mole
and have it do our bidding,
- Mm hmm,
A little tougher than you thought, eh?
- Yeah, it was hecka hard,
Warlocking is not for just anybody,
- It sounded like a good idea, Selma,
When in Rome, you know,
- You're not in Rome, Pins,
Rome fell,
You're on the brick road of the dead,
My brick road of the dead,
And I have no intention of letting
two bumblers from beyond the grave
steal it out from under me,
Play time's over,
It's time to find those two,
and make examples of them,
- Three,
- Oh yeah,
I heard about that,
- Seems they picked up a friend someplace,
- They picked up a friend?
I don't care if they recruited an army,
This ends tonight,
I hope they've all enjoyed their Mischief Night
because it's going to be their last,
- Alright, let's go get 'em,
Selma, lead the way,
- Double double, toil and trouble,
Drop this bag of bones,
Now pop his bubble,
(gasping)
- Selma, you,
you just killed Rattles,
- Oh, balderdash,
Rattles died 100 years ago,
He's the walking dead,
I merely cast a sleep spell on him,
He needs his rest,
When he wakes, he won't remember a thing,
He was useless to me anyway,
We'll carry on without him,
- So, you're not gonna cast a spell on me, too?
- No, Pins,
You're far to subservient for that,
Good acolytes are hard to find,
Now come, it'll be morning soon,
and I hate the sunshine,
I've avoided it for centuries,
Look at my soft skin,
I am not about to start tanning now,
- [Pins] Yes, Selma, thank you, Selma,
- Shut up, Pins,
- As you command, Selma,
(ominous music)
- Yeah so then Larry says,
oh, I didn't know you were a headless horseman,
(all laughing)
I'm telling you,
if he had a head,
it would've exploded right there,
- My goodness,
You sound like you're a lot of fun,
- That we are, Goul,
But you know what would make us
even more fun than we already are?
- What's that, Larry?
- Wait for it,
Wait for it, (chuckling)
- If our wishes came true,
- [Goul] Oh, what wishes?
- The unique individual wishes
that we three brought with us tonight,
- To present to you,
In the hope that you'll grant them,
- And make each of us
happier and better than we are now,
- We heard you grant one wish per visitor,
on one night of the year only,
So here we are,
(hesitating)
- What do you say, Goul?
Can we tell you our wishes?
- Guys,
I need to tell you something,
- Uh oh,
This might be that cockroach curse
Fred was afraid of,
- The story of this tree stump granting wishes
is nothing more than a rumor,
started by those who did not wish
to see me living in peace and tranquility,
And by those with the unquenchable need
to believe in something beyond themselves,
And to sell for their own shortcomings,
and an excuse not to have to work too hard,
nor reach too high,
- So what you're saying is,
I'm stuck being a centuries-old mummy
for all eternity?
- And I'm stuck being a zombie forever?
- And I'm stuck with this bloated,
rotten, smelly noggin,
until it drops off and smooshes on the ground?
- Well, yes,
If you choose to see those traits as negative,
- Negative?
How else can I see this head?
It grosses out everyone
who gets within sniffing distance of me,
I'll never make friends again,
(weeping)
Never be wanted,
Never be loved,
- Bighead, stop and listen to yourself,
You're surrounded by friends as you speak,
And they find you wholly endearing,
Stinky pumpkin head and all,
And Fred, you're sick and tired of being mummified,
yet you carry with you the wisdom
of thousands of years of experience,
Everyone in your town comes to you for advice,
do they not?
- Well,
yeah, they do,
- And they still invite you to parties,
and still laugh at your jokes, correct?
- Right,
No matter how bad they are,
(laughing)
- Zombie Larry, so brave and true,
You're the foul glue that holds
your circle of friends together, are you not?
- I don't know, Goul,
I never really thought about it,
- Well, you should,
The three of you already possess
the qualities you've come seeking,
Therefor, there is nothing you can be granted,
The next time any of you feel as though
you're not good enough,
you need only look deeper into the mirror,
and the answers will be there,
- I agree, silly stump,
The mirror reveals all,
Just as it revealed to me
what you three have been up to,
- You must be Selma,
We heard you have a problem with us,
- Yes, Larry,
In fact, I do,
- She knows your name, Lar,
- And I know yours, Fred,
And you, ugh,
Are you the one behind that dreadful smell?
- Yes,
I am, witch,
And the name's Bighead,
- How fitting,
What in Halloween World made you think
you could just come ask this tree
for supernatural powers?
- It's not powers we're after, witch,
We just wanna be normal and fit in,
- Yeah, we don't have to wait for one night a year
to show our faces and mingle,
We wanna make new friends, and do fun things,
and be like other folks,
- And I want a new head,
- [Pins] How drab,
- Seriously,
Who wants to be like everyone else?
You mean to tell me you risked
your own death tonight
in the hopes of losing what makes you unique?
You're bigger fools than I thought,
So, this is the elusive and legendary Goul, eh?
Dazzle us with your fanciful conjurings,
your magical summonings,
your dark delights,
Surely a bat of your caliber
has some tricks up its branches, so to speak,
Give us what you got,
or stand down and watch a true witch work,
- Okay, the floor's yours,
- Very well, then,
That you would decline a public test of power
on this night of all nights, Mischief Night,
speaks volumes, tree,
Now watch while I show you all how it's done,
Wraiths in flight, the monsters unite,
black magic works through this witch tonight,
(cackling)
- Wow,
(sighing)
- And we came so close,
I guess this is the end of the brick road
of the dead for us, Fred,
- What do you mean, Lar?
We're here,
We made it,
- Yeah, and Goul denied our wishes,
and now Selma's gonna put the nail in our coffin,
It's over,
- You're not completely witless, I see,
Don't worry, wretches,
There's plenty of room for servants in my castle,
Perhaps I'll take you into my employ,
- Oh, this just keeps getting better and better,
Not only did we travel all this way
for absolutely nothing,
but I have to stay a crusty old mummy forever,
and go to work in some wicked witch's
cold dark castle,
- Cold and dark?
My castle features the most
up-to-date comforts and amenities
you'll find anywhere,
Including a state-of-the-art
Bigfoot breadth hot tub, I'll have you know,
- Wow, yeah,
I've always wondered about those Bigfoot breadth hot tubs,
Does it have the back jets?
- It has the back jets,
- Ooh, and we can use it after a day's work?
- I didn't say that,
- See?
This sucks,
- Your opinion doesn't matter, mummy,
Heed my marching orders,
or suffer my wrath,
- But I--
- Move,
- Hold it right there, witch,
- Eh?
- I've listened to your bluster long enough,
Your pompous posturing and hollow threats
mean nothing out here,
You see, I know better than anyone
that what you see can't always be believed,
- Oh my Goul, it's a bat,
- Mind blown,
Mind blown,
- That's right,
It was me all along,
I'm Mandy, and I live inside that hollow tree,
- Ha, some sorcery,
You've conjured a cute little fruit bat,
What are you going to do to us, little one?
Pelt us with grapes?
- No, I'm gonna tell you something you need to hear,
Something you should've heard long ago,
Sometimes, we jump to conclusions
based on what we see and hear
when it's what's inside that really counts,
You may look wicked and evil on the outside, Selma,
but inside, you're sad and worried,
And Larry and Fred may look weak and weary,
but inside, they're strong and brave,
And strength beats weakness any night of the year,
- This is unbelievable,
You mean there is no Goul the sage tree?
- It's just a fruit bat playing dress-up,
who fooled the entire countryside?
- Um, hello,
You see these fangs?
Yeah, I'm Mandy the vampire bat, thank you very much,
- Wait a minute,
You reveal yourself to be not a gnarled old tree,
but a pesky little bat?
And you expect me to cower in fear?
Ha, take this,
Power of beast and stealth of creeps,
squash these foals and bury them deep,
- Oh, go home, Selma,
Nobody's afraid of you anymore,
And without fear, you're powerless,
- But, but,
- [Pins] Finish them, Selma,
Do it,
- I, I,
oh, I, I,
you know what?
Forget this,
I've had it,
If you fools aren't going to cower in fear,
then why bother?
Besides, Miss Bathery is coming
to teach a water aerobics class
at the castle before dawn,
I have to peel some blood oranges,
They're her favorites,
- Nice meeting you, Selma,
- Yeah, and good riddance,
(puffing)
- Whatever,
You'll be sad little monsters in your Halloween village,
I'll be up in my sprawling castle estate,
conferring with the spirits,
Until we meet again,
(cackling)
- Say, Mandy,
Is there any way I can take over this tree gig?
If you don't wanna do it anymore, I mean,
I can fit inside that tree trunk easy,
All this walking's murder (bright instrumental music)
on my feet, you know,
- It's all yours, kid,
I'm giving up pretending
to lead a battier kind of life,
Playing Goul has been a real hoot,
but I miss night flying,
(hooting)
(laughing)
(upbeat instrumental music)
- Well, here we are,
The same as we were when we left,
Home sweet home,
- Welcome to Halloween World, Bighead,
- Wow,
Thanks, you guys,
It's so vibrant,
so alive,
Hey, you wouldn't happen to have
any fresh pumpkin patches around here, would ya?
- I'm sure we do,
It's that time of year, after all,
Why don't you go have a look around?
- Don't mind if I do,
Whoa, is that the famous
Macabre Cadabra Mystery House I see?
- The one and only,
- That's here?
No way,
- Somebody's enjoying himself,
- Larry, Fred,
You're back,
How'd it go?
- It went well, Boo,
Really well,
- No kidding,
Did you find Goul?
- No, we didn't find Goul,
- But we did find what we were looking for,
- Oh, well, good for you,
You missed one heck of a Mischief Night party here,
Woo,
Chains were rattling, let me tell you,
We shook the gates of Hades itself,
- Sounds like it was fun, Boo,
- Ah well, maybe next year,
- Don't sweat it, Lar,
It'll go quick,
Just stay in the shadows and wait it out,
- I think we're gonna take a trip this year, actually,
- Oh?
A trip?
- Yeah, we're gonna take our new friend Bighead
out to the coast to see Bodega Bay,
He's never been to the ocean,
- Bodega Bay, huh?
Oh, gonna do a little bird watching?
- Maybe,
It's been a while since we've seen the sun,
We figure it's about time,
Can't stay in the dark forever,
(laughing)
- Well, you have fun out there,
- Thanks, Boo,
We plan on it,
- If you'll excuse me,
I gotta get back in this limbo contest,
It's coming down to me and Houdini,
This year, I'm a-winning it all,
- Go get 'em, Boo,
(feet shuffling)
- Hey look, over there,
Is that who I think it is?
- It sure is, Dracula and Frankie,
- What do you think they want?
(swallowing)
- Not us, I hope,
Come on, let's hide in the Macabre Cadabra Mystery House,
- [Male] Oh, what stinks in here?
- [Man] Something must have crawled in here and died,
Call the exterminator, (light instrumental music)
- Uh oh,
Sounds like Bighead's in trouble,
- Quick, let's save him,
- Wow, so this is Halloween World,
It's like a great big wonderland
for a vampire bat,
Whoa, this is going to be some kind of fun,
(upbeat mystery music) (monster laughing)
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